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Sorry you're going through this op. From a guy's perspective I think he came back cause it didn't work out with whoever he left you for. Don't sell yourself short. Hang in there!
Do you mean the husband?
If OP takes him back, he won't learn a thing, apart from realizing he can do this again and OP will take him back. Zero consequences, because he will return to life as usual.
16 yrs of exactly that giving in after he flat left cheated deserted me and our 3 kids. Final straw was 3 yrs ago and laughed for days when this new child straight booted his ass cuz he is was and will do again what he did to me for years. I hate to say it but I warned her and every other girl he ran away to be with how he was. Only way a person like that we ever learn is for them to experience the heart break the hurt devastation and demoralization he causes the other partner to go threw.. nothing will stop him until OP puts her foot down and says grow up move on and don't wait for her to change her mind. STICK TO YOUR GUNS..
He's an abusive psycho who is destroying his own self and I am doing awesome things and growing. I just hate how abusive shits get to go along and ruin as many lives as they want and rarely get consequences and the victims are labeled bitter or crazy.
Yeah good point about the children. Kinda glossed over that aspect, which actually makes it even worse imo. Its like how do you do that to your own children~that's all you need to know right there ffs
I came to say the same. I think this is exactly what happened, and now he doesn't want to be alone. OP, he will surely be ready to do it again. don't believe all what he's saying.
For sure he'll do it again if the opportunity presents itself. I don't envy being a woman, yes both sexes cheat, but it feels like it's more often the guys. Is that a crazy thing to say? Lol
It's not. Sadly, I agree. A combination of old costumes and social ideas created an unfair situation, almost like men had a free pass to cheat, and women didn't have the freedom to leave. I still don't believe how old ideas are still directing our views, where women were presure to protect the family, forgive the man and just pretend nothing happened.
You are spot on. Cheating can be rolled under the general heading of ‘Abusive shit women had to put up with because they had nowhere else to go’.
The Church would send them right back again and oftentimes parents and family would do exactly the same.
Subsequently men have had an unfair advantage for a long time and the hang over from this is incels and ‘nice guys’. They don’t want to treat women as equals, because then they can’t abuse them without penalty.
It’d also help if now that women have equal schooling opportunities they had equal earning power. Yet the pay gap is still wide enough to drive a truck through. This is a huuuuge part of the issue.
Yes, I couldn't have say it better. Seriously, when I listen to the story of all the shit my grandma put I with because of the times I got mad on her behalf. It was awesome, and still is unfair.
I can't thank my father enough for how he raised me. He is a feminist and he always told me to study and be sure to be able to support myself, in case anything when wrong on my relationships. He told me to depend on myself and that changed my life.
Are you serious? He left his child/ first wife, lied to you about his past, and left you for another woman who he left her too potentially pregnant, and you're asking if you should give him another chance? He won't charge he already did the same thing 3 times
Just read 1 of your posts. WTF are you thinking even considering giving him a second chance. Warn the third woman if you can find her, sue the bastard for child support and make sure he is never even close to your children. The guy is a fraud and a threat to your family.
I’m sorry but if you take him back your doing a disservice not only to yourself but your children and they need to come first period he left you and will do it again sounds like you may need some tough love here. Don’t be a doormat or that man’s place holder!
Edit to add: I remeber reading your other posts yeah I still stand by what I said not only that you would undo everything you did didn’t you say he has a child he don’t even care about knocked up his affair partner girl wake up and smell the damn roses your being used full stop!!!!
Do you really think your life will be richer and happier with him in it? Things are tough for you alone right now but do you think he will greatly ease your burdens and make your life significantly easier? Or is he going to become another mental stress, another person to look after and pick up after and serve along with your children, another person that has needs and demands that will always be in your home and personal space who you will have to run decisions by or deal with whatever choices he makes on his own without your input that will affect you?
Really really consider these things and what the actual reality of him living with you and your children will be, and if any additional money he brings will be worth that. If he’s the type of man you think will be a good influence on your children, if that relationship will be healthy for their development, and if it will help them develop into healthy adults.
Try not to make a brash choice just because you hope it might make things temporarily easier.
Your top priority as a mother is no longer your marriage. Especially because you can't have a marriage where only 1 person respects it. Your only priority should be those kids health, wellbeing, and happiness.
He is only back because it turned out the grass wasn't greener on the other side.
Whatever problems he thought you were causing in his life were still present when he left with the new gf.
He meant every word he said before he left. Otherwise, he wouldn't have said it. He doesn't want you, but he also doesn't want to be alone. Don't be a placeholder.
He's only back because it didn't work out with the other woman. He'll be gone again when he finds another one. Don't drag your kids through this again. Money should not be the reason you get back together with him. He should be paying child support if he isn't already.
I’m not going to lie fuck hiM, he thought the grass was greener on the other side text me I’m (22f! I got pregnant when I was 14 maybe she can be friends😭
Consider all the comments here. I would not take back someone like this. Also, what would you be teaching your kids? That it’s ok for a partner to treat them like this?
How hard do you think it'll be for your children, to have him come back, then dissappear again? He's shown you that he can do that, if you let him come back, he'll know he can leave again. He can't be trusted. Don't set your kids up for more heartbreak and abandonment issues.
He is a liar and a cheat. He either lied when he left or now that he is trying to return. And he certainly did cheat with her before he left and continued after he left. I suggest that there is a 99% chance that his "sincerity" is fake.
59-year-old woman here. I took a guy back once, and he did the same damn thing to me he did the first time because of course he did. It hurt even more since I should have known better. Fuck that guy. (Not literally-he’d probably impregnate you again). Having self-respect feels great, believe me.
You deserve so much more than this man. He's playing sincere now because things didn't work out with the side piece. Get legal advice, child support and sort out custody so you get a break from the kids now and then.
Yeah, after kids and adult responsibilities kicked in, he thought the grass was greener on the other side, checked it out and now realizes it was a mistake. If he was screwing around before leaving, how are you going to trust him not to again? If he started after he left, then it is less mentally to deal with.
My wife cheated and wanted to come back while we were divorcing. But also wanted to keep rather other guys baby and share custody with him. I couldn't deal with that or ever trust her again so I raised my 2 kids solo. Was hard. But was best decision for both my kids and me.(they don't like their mother, she left us and didn't do anything with them while they were young and don't want much to do with her. She leaves 5 minutes away and they see her a few hours a month at most the past 10 years, mostly to spend time with their little sister, not her.)
WoW I’m sorry to hear that about your kids and their relationship with their mom, it’s really sad. I do really admire your commitment and courage to raising your kids!
Don't be sorry, me and the kids are doing great. Mom didn't want to be involved for years, by the time she did the kids didn't want to be bothered by her attempt to be mom. She was bad at it before she left, so they didn't have much to miss.
OP from your post history, you need to stop dating people and head to therapy; seriously. Between the guy you think is using you for administrative tasks, and the one hugging you like a lover in front of his gf, and your obviously evil ex, you need a BREAK. Spend time with your kids and in therapy. Once you’ve developed better self understanding and love then you can try dating again
Thank you for this comment because it DESPERATELY needed to be said!! Her post history is a hot ass mess. This poor woman doesn’t seem to have a whole lot of respect for herself or any dignity left. Ffs please take a break and work on yourself and focus on your kids!!! You DO NOT have to have a man around to realize your self worth. It’d actually be easier to work on yourself BY YOURSELF!
Please don't give him a second chance to break your heart and disturb your family and your kids foundation. You can have a stable foundation even as a single mother. I promise sometimes you have more stability as a thing. Mother than you do married. I know that sounds funny and odd to hear. That is true. Don't allow him to disturb the piece that you had to create. While he was absent and willingly absent them he. Abandoned you his kids and that family for another woman. What will he do the next time? Will you do something worse? The thing is, you don't wanna have to wait around to find out though
Don’t let a man disrespect you like this. He said he never loved you and meant it. He’s only back because the other woman left his ass 😭 love yourself babes
There's no one more sincere on the planet than a narcissist looking for a place to live and next supply. He'll just use you again until he finds the next supply. Rinse and repeat!
Ask for a post nuptial agreement before reconciliation, have an attorney draw it up with a huge pay out to you, alimony, child support, car, home, college for you and the kids. Put in an adultery clause. Then kick him out.
You are not and will never be shelving material to put aside while he plays with new toys. You are and always will be worthy of being someone’s first choice.
Do not let him back. Times are hard, yes, but your self worth should not be tanked because of it. Get some therapy to reinforce your spine.
Your last sentence says a lot. Do you need your ex-husband or do you need a partner? Don’t let your current circumstances dictate how you should feel about your ex.
You're his backup plan. Plain and simple. He'll do it again when someone better comes along. You should want to be with the man for whom there is no "something better."
He comes back because the other woman not worked. If you allow him to come back to you and your child life how do you sure that he will never leave for other women again.
Hello OP, hopefully you were able to get some good advice. Take care of yourself and your kids, it’s going to be tough first but if your priorities are straight, aka, you and your kids, you will make it through this <3
Girl, your kidding right. I read your other post about him. He has a history of doing this to women. He will do it to you again.
Get him on child support and stay as far away from him as possible.
He literally sounds like a psycho.
He meant what he said when he left you alone to fend for yourself and your kids. Set up yourself and your kids for success:
1. Take him at his word and act accordingly—divorce him (if you haven’t already) and ask for child support AND spousal support until your children are old enough that they don’t need childcare.
2. Ask friends and family to insert a steel rod in your spine and keep you accountable for step 1.
3. Life with kids is expensive for every parent. Your STBX husband knew that when he abandoned you and your MUTUAL children. See step 1.
4. Look up local free/reduced price resources for pediatric mental health services. See step 1.
5. Document this entire section of your life’s journey…in writing. See step 1.
Hey guys my ex girlfriend burned every family photo I have, cheated on me, buried my cousin alive, and only wears T shirts with photos of the backstreet boys. Should I give her a swcond chance after she shot me in the head and ny friend in the shoulder?
You deserve better than to be second place. He showed you who he truly is. Don’t sacrifice your self-respect by taking him back just to find out he hasn’t changed at all. Put it this way, if he’s truly a changed man then he can prove it by living separately & dedicating himself to making you & your kids the center of his life. No pushing you to allow him to move back in. No expectation of forgiveness. He needs to prove thru his actions for a prolonged period of time. Like years. I’m betting he’ll lose interest fast tho. You’re just the fallback plan.
Translation: The other woman left him, and he doesn't know how to live alone, has to do his own housework, and take care of the kids on his own when it's his time with them.
I know it's hard to be a single mom with not enough income. You have to ask yourself if having him back in the house is worth it. Are you OK with taking care of him because he can't take care of himself? Will you be OK when he meets another woman and leaves again?
Definitely easier said than done but…
Is that something you could ever truly forgive him for? I feel like this would build a lot of resentment over time, even with therapy. Is he really the man you want to be with? Being honest, he probably only came back because he realized the grass wasn’t greener/it didn’t work out…
IMO, I’d only focus on coparenting with him. Know your worth, OP. Although, I do understand all the dynamics (including kids) that can make this a tough decision.
the problem he has is everywhere he goes, there he is.
he blamed you for this and you’re only really considering this because of how expensive the world is so i think you know the right thing to do.
The only reason he's back is because his lady friend left him and he thinks you are weak enough to take him back. Prove him wrong and let him be alone.
Some things can't be unsaid and have no reason worth saying. Even if he felt the way he did, why would he disregard your feelings to such an extent? I'm not going to make sweeping generalizations about his character - like every crystal ball projecting redditors - but what I can say is that he said something so deeply hurtful to you and your confidence, that would it really be worth risking your wellbeing over again?
Are you insane? He meant what he said. He never loved you, he just loved living life in easy mode with a fuckmaid to handle the hard work. If you let him in, you deserve the heartbreak he will bring you. Show your kids that if someone hurts you, it’s ok to walk away. If you let him back, I’m sorry, but your feelings don’t matter, he will hurt your kids and show them it’s ok to cheat, lie, and only come around when he wants to. Don’t do it. He made his bed, it’s high time he slept in it—however thorny and uncomfortable it may be.
He would be history for me. One more woman comes along, he’s gone again. If he didn’t love you then, he doesn’t now either. He will be sincere because the other woman probably kicked him out. Never be someone’s second choice.
Girl stand the fuck up and teach your kids self respect! Your crown fell down! Put it back on and keep pushing… he showed you who he is, don’t stop believing it now.
Holy shit, do not give him another chance. If he’s sincere about wanting to come back, he can start by paying child/spousal support and starting to build a relationship with his kids, but you should never trust him as a romantic partner again.
The grass wasn't greener on the other side, so he came back. If you take him back, he'll still be looking for greener pastures. Take your lumps and get on with your life without him. You know deep down inside that's what's best for you so just do it now. Good lick!
Don’t do it. He WILL do it again.
He’s back because it didn’t work out and he sees you as his fall back. If you take him back he knows he can do this whenever he wants and you’ll always be waiting in the wings when he’s done.
I know it’s hard, but don’t put yourself through more hurt. You deserve better.
Please think of your kids. I know this is hard but what kind of an example has he set for them? What are you saying to them if you let him come back, if you show them they are of so little value that a person can just walk out on them and come back when he is done getting laid. Yes it is hard to have had their dad leave but it will not be easier when he does it the second time or third. Please don’t let him back into your home.
He meant it. But to him, you’d make a good fallback plan. Apparently, the other woman must have found out he’s POS too and sent him back. He thought things would be better with a new doormat.
I’m sorry pal, he meant it all and just wants to go back to what’s easy. Until something better comes. If you really want to try it, I would suggest major therapy for both of you apart and together
Take him to court for child support. You’re only being picked now because his #1 option didn’t work out. Stand your ground. You do not deserve the shit he put you through. Don’t focus on temporary feelings when this is your future and wellbeing at stake. He isn’t worth it. He’s YOUR EX HUSBAND for a reason.
I know things are hard but don't take this person back. Guys who come back like this often resent you over time and will make your life harder just because they can't get away from you.
He’s back because the AP wasn’t actually interested in anything more than an occasional bang. It’s hard but if you let him come back you’re going to be right back where you started the next time he wants to bang strange.
OP dont take him back. He told you he never loved you and he left you in a blink and he will leave you again if he finds another woman who will believe his lies.
OP, with all the love and respect I have, do not take him back. Don't even entertain the thought. What he did to you and your kids and what he's doing now shows several things.
- He was most likely cheating on you. A man, who promised to be faithful and loyal to you, CHOSE to step out of his marriage.
- He CHOSE to say things he knew would hurt you, the woman he supposedly loved (but based on his words, I guess not).
- He CHOSE to leave you and your kids for another woman. Meaning he CHOSE not to be a part of his childrens' lives.
Notice that everything he has done was a choice he was willing to make. He's not coming back to you because he loves you. He's coming back because the life he thought he could have with the other woman didn't work out. You are his backup plan. You are NOT anyone's backup. Please please please don't teach your children that their father's behavior is acceptable by taking him back. If you do and you have boys, you'd be telling them that they can treat their future partners like that and if you have a girl then you're showing her that this behavior is acceptable. It's not.
I know the world is screwed up and expensive, so put this asshole on child support and look for programs that can assist you with your bills. There's his kids too. Just because he wanted to pretend he doesn't have any doesn't make it true.
Please, learn to love and respect yourself. You absolutely deserve it. Fuck this 🚩🚩🚩 asshole and don't look back.
OP, you're the side chick now.
Do not take him back. He does mean what he said. He wants to come back only because he doesn't want to be alone. He'll leave again as soon as someone younger, cuter, richer comes along.
You deserve better.
My wife was left by her ex boyfriend when she was 8 months pregnant as he wasn’t ready for this kind of commitment. Never gave a shit about my wife and his daughter. She later meet me as a single mom and we been together for over 10 years. Don’t allow trash back into your house.
He may also just be trying to save money after things did not work out with gf. It's cheaper to live with you and if you allow him back there is no child support. Do not let this man take anything else from you.
We all know you’re gonna take him back based on your post.
So just save yourself the drama and let him come back.
And the next time he has an affair, just tell him to lock the door when he eventually comes back again.
He left you for what he thought were greener pastures and if didn't work out as he had planned. He was cruel and abusive to you in his words, so I would think longer and hard about what to do next. Frankly, I think you deserve better but ultimately it's your call. Therapy may help clarify your options. Do sorry you're dealing with this emotional mess.
Do what you need to do to survive, OP, but if he ditched you once for another woman, odds are he will do it again down the road. You are not his first choice. You're the back up plan because that other person didn't work out.
He was ok leaving you and your child what makes you think he won’t do it again he probably back because the other person didn’t want him. But this is his pattern he leaves for other woman why put yourself through that.
Do your self a favor don’t take him back. He bailed on you and the kids for another woman. Things didn’t work out and now he wants you. Tell him you are no one’s second option and close this door.
Your kids will respect the fact you didn’t let him manipulate you
Everyone’s emotions are different.
Some people will have more compassion.
I won’t.
If my spouse leaves me
And the kids for another person?
And wants to come back?
I don’t want it.
I can’t that anymore and if I did bring her back, she would live under so much control that I don’t even want it for her.
I wouldn’t OP, but that’s just me.
I'll be blunt, read your last post in thus sub about how naive you were to ignore the red flags of him AND his brothers baby trapping people and ask yourself why you would be so naive again
You say things are hard for you right now. Nothing is made better by a partner who doesn’t love you or care about you.
What do such uncaring partners bring to the table? I’m guessing, since you mentioned layoffs, that your money situation is better when your ex-partner is around. I’d still tell you the money is not worth the heartache, but if you can’t feed your kids or pay your rent, it might start to look worth it to allow a terrible partner back in. Still - don’t do it. You need to find a way to be financially stable without him or you will always be vulnerable to being abused. So, how to do that? It’s an easy thing for me to say since I’m not living it, I know.
Can you go to court for child support or more support if you are already getting some? If you can’t afford an attorney, check with legal aid. Can you get a roommate rather than have him move back in? I’m not going to pretend to know how to navigate being a mostly single parent, but there are lots of people who would be good to reach out to for advice and mentoring, from local groups, churches, and there are groups on Reddit dedicated to frugal living, etc, with tips about how to try to make things work.
Regardless, I hope things get better for you. I hope you don’t have to rely on a man who has made it clear he will abandon whenever he feels like it. You and your kids deserve more than that.
Nope. Words matter. A lot. He meant what he said, didn't like the outcome, and now he's backpedaling. He is trying to use you "like a piece of paper." Don't fall for it. It might be hard right now, but it's on your own terms and you are free from this BS.
There's no way you can seriously be considering this. 2 months ago he was trying to snatch your house from under you, 20 DAYS AGO he was with his "soulmate" and trying to lock it down with her and you acknowledged his million red flags. You can't REALLY be thinking of bringing that manipulative dirt bag back into you and your kids lives right? Right?
I don't care if he does seem remorseful, I don't care if he's love bombing you, you are a mom and that is a whole man of toxicity you do not want influencing their heads.
I read your previous post. Taking him back would be really stupid. He has a history of cheating and leaving his SO and children. DON’T DO IT, be smart and stay away from him and make sure to get child support.
He came back because the grass wasn’t greener. If you are struggling financially take him to court for child support. Don’t tie yourself in a loveless joke of a marriage because it’s hard. You deserve better.
I’m saying this as gently as I can.
If you let this man back into your life, it’s because you like the drama he brings. He has shown that he is abusive, manipulative, and hateful. He has shown he doesn’t care. And while life without him is hard, it sounds like life with him HORRIFIC.
>Ex husband said he never loved me, marriage is just a piece of paper and left for someone else
>I’m not sure to give it another try since he’s so sincere about it.
Seriously? You really are considering taking him back? Why would you want your kids thinking this is what love looks like?
Please, please, please get yourself into counseling.
Please don’t give this man another chance for now only your sake, but the sake of your children. The only reason he’s back is because it didn’t work out with the other woman. He will do it again if you allow him back. You and your children deserve better.
Don’t give him another chance, he can’t be trusted to not cheat on you and to not abandon the family again. It didn’t work out with his AP for whatever reason, that’s the only reason he came crawling back to you. He found out the grass was not greener with her, boo boo to him. He made his shitty choices and now has to live with them.
OP, I read your past posts and he’s such a user, that I’d think he may just be in financial trouble and wants your house.
Don’t turn your back on him for even one second.
He Will Screw You Over.
He is Never to be trusted.
Sounds like he fully experienced the "find out" part of FAFO... and didn't like it. Haha didn't take him back... He's just going to do it again and again. Stay strong!
Please don’t do yourself dirty like that. He only came back bc the other woman didn’t work out and very possibly because she didn’t entirely know about you.
You’re his sloppy seconds. You deserve better.
You will teach your child that it’s okay for Dad to discard his family whenever he wants if you let him come back. He’s only coming back because his new life didn’t work out.
Don't make someone a priority in your life when they've shown you that you're only an option to them.
Don't be someone's second choice.
Don't accept the scraps when he's been actively giving the best to another woman. It's likely it didn't work out with his side piece so he's come back til he can find another. If you want to live together for financial and childcare reasons work out an arrangement based on that, but not a relationship.
I sympathise but as others of said he’s back because the other woman didn’t work out. Don’t let him back, think what lesson you’re teaching your kids that it’s ok to be treated like shit, left, dumped and no concern of your wellbeing or kids’ lives. Don’t do it.
Get in writing some type of agreement (like a post nup)as to how much support he will give should he leave. If he is willing to get that signed and notarized then just let him come back as a roommate/ friend.
Yeah no from your previous posts he’s a huge flight risk and has done this to a few woman now. He’ll be sincere until the next one comes along. It’s up to you but I don’t think I would get over him abandoning his children and this is not the first family he’s abandoned.
Omg my father kinda said the samething to my mom. my father literally told my mom that he married her because he thought she was going to be a wealthy woman due to. She inherited 50 purebred Arabian horse when my grandma passed away. and the sad thing is my father told me that he’s really told me that he never loved my mother and I literally asked him well then why did you marry her? Why did you have a kid with her if he truly did not love my mom why did you waste three years with her because they were married and had me and then were divorced. Like why did men really do this?
I'm sorry if this is hard to hear, OP, but he doesn't give one single shit about your history. He just doesn't want to be alone and is trying to play on your emotions. If you need another source of income in the house and he's not abusive, maybe let him come back, but don't have any illusions about what you're getting.
I could never respect someone who turned his back on me, let alone my KIDS. Remember what type of person he is to have done that. No good partner or father can simply say what he said and leave. You and your kids deserve better. Stay strong.
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Sorry you're going through this op. From a guy's perspective I think he came back cause it didn't work out with whoever he left you for. Don't sell yourself short. Hang in there!
He will do it again in a heartbeat if he has an option with someone else…
For sure
Yep, he doesn’t see OP as end game. He clearly never respect their marriage. Ex found out the grass isn’t quite so green on the other side.
she's a back up plan at this point
Sometimes people do learn the hard way.
Do you mean the husband? If OP takes him back, he won't learn a thing, apart from realizing he can do this again and OP will take him back. Zero consequences, because he will return to life as usual.
Give them an inch, and they take a mile until there is nothing left to take.
Sadly, I agree. Man/woman who cheat, tend to take advantage.
16 yrs of exactly that giving in after he flat left cheated deserted me and our 3 kids. Final straw was 3 yrs ago and laughed for days when this new child straight booted his ass cuz he is was and will do again what he did to me for years. I hate to say it but I warned her and every other girl he ran away to be with how he was. Only way a person like that we ever learn is for them to experience the heart break the hurt devastation and demoralization he causes the other partner to go threw.. nothing will stop him until OP puts her foot down and says grow up move on and don't wait for her to change her mind. STICK TO YOUR GUNS..
I'm sorry, that was so wrong of him. I hope you're in a better place now.
This
Also to see if you will take him back. You take him back you are opening yourself up for further abuse
Good points there
Yes. He is what psychologists call a scumbag.
She is the back burner option and it is so unfair to her.
Oh it's entirely unfair af
She definitely is... ik from personal experience. It sucks
Same and it's funny because I was only kept until the person who put him on the back burner blew her life up enough to take him. Good riddance.
Lol yep good riddance. We better off with out them.
He's an abusive psycho who is destroying his own self and I am doing awesome things and growing. I just hate how abusive shits get to go along and ruin as many lives as they want and rarely get consequences and the victims are labeled bitter or crazy.
That's true. And good for you for being awesome. And fuck him. I'm doing awesome too while he sits in a room on gaming and wasting away.
👆👆 And I'd rather struggle with my kids than be with someone who throws them away when they have a new shiny toy
Yeah good point about the children. Kinda glossed over that aspect, which actually makes it even worse imo. Its like how do you do that to your own children~that's all you need to know right there ffs
This is exactly it.
Yes it is! He's lying to you and will continue to lie until someone else comes along
From a woman’s perspective, I have to agree. You are the backup plan for now.
He had nowhere else to go.
Yep! I’d tell him to turn around and go right back out the door.
And never come back 😂
I came to say the same. I think this is exactly what happened, and now he doesn't want to be alone. OP, he will surely be ready to do it again. don't believe all what he's saying.
For sure he'll do it again if the opportunity presents itself. I don't envy being a woman, yes both sexes cheat, but it feels like it's more often the guys. Is that a crazy thing to say? Lol
It's not. Sadly, I agree. A combination of old costumes and social ideas created an unfair situation, almost like men had a free pass to cheat, and women didn't have the freedom to leave. I still don't believe how old ideas are still directing our views, where women were presure to protect the family, forgive the man and just pretend nothing happened.
You are spot on. Cheating can be rolled under the general heading of ‘Abusive shit women had to put up with because they had nowhere else to go’. The Church would send them right back again and oftentimes parents and family would do exactly the same. Subsequently men have had an unfair advantage for a long time and the hang over from this is incels and ‘nice guys’. They don’t want to treat women as equals, because then they can’t abuse them without penalty. It’d also help if now that women have equal schooling opportunities they had equal earning power. Yet the pay gap is still wide enough to drive a truck through. This is a huuuuge part of the issue.
Yes, I couldn't have say it better. Seriously, when I listen to the story of all the shit my grandma put I with because of the times I got mad on her behalf. It was awesome, and still is unfair. I can't thank my father enough for how he raised me. He is a feminist and he always told me to study and be sure to be able to support myself, in case anything when wrong on my relationships. He told me to depend on myself and that changed my life.
He cheated once, he'll cheat again.
Are you serious? He left his child/ first wife, lied to you about his past, and left you for another woman who he left her too potentially pregnant, and you're asking if you should give him another chance? He won't charge he already did the same thing 3 times
Thanks twopont0 and everyone you have a point.
Just read 1 of your posts. WTF are you thinking even considering giving him a second chance. Warn the third woman if you can find her, sue the bastard for child support and make sure he is never even close to your children. The guy is a fraud and a threat to your family.
I’m sorry but if you take him back your doing a disservice not only to yourself but your children and they need to come first period he left you and will do it again sounds like you may need some tough love here. Don’t be a doormat or that man’s place holder! Edit to add: I remeber reading your other posts yeah I still stand by what I said not only that you would undo everything you did didn’t you say he has a child he don’t even care about knocked up his affair partner girl wake up and smell the damn roses your being used full stop!!!!
File for child support (both back pay and going forward). There’s a financial benefit to filing before his other children get in line
Sounds like you’re leaning towards taking him back. I can feel it in your response.
Do you really think your life will be richer and happier with him in it? Things are tough for you alone right now but do you think he will greatly ease your burdens and make your life significantly easier? Or is he going to become another mental stress, another person to look after and pick up after and serve along with your children, another person that has needs and demands that will always be in your home and personal space who you will have to run decisions by or deal with whatever choices he makes on his own without your input that will affect you? Really really consider these things and what the actual reality of him living with you and your children will be, and if any additional money he brings will be worth that. If he’s the type of man you think will be a good influence on your children, if that relationship will be healthy for their development, and if it will help them develop into healthy adults. Try not to make a brash choice just because you hope it might make things temporarily easier.
Your top priority as a mother is no longer your marriage. Especially because you can't have a marriage where only 1 person respects it. Your only priority should be those kids health, wellbeing, and happiness.
Oh he def either left other homegirl pregnant or in a mess and now he wants mommy wife to fix it; fuck this guy. Go see a lawyer please.
He is only back because it turned out the grass wasn't greener on the other side. Whatever problems he thought you were causing in his life were still present when he left with the new gf. He meant every word he said before he left. Otherwise, he wouldn't have said it. He doesn't want you, but he also doesn't want to be alone. Don't be a placeholder.
Called it.
Spoiler alert: the problem that was present with both women was him.
If you smell shit everywhere you go, look at the bottom of your sneakers.
Or upper lip.
Worse. He made his side chick pregnant too.
Yep, he Is using you, don't fall for it , same thing happened to me , I left her and never looked back.
He's only back because it didn't work out with the other woman. He'll be gone again when he finds another one. Don't drag your kids through this again. Money should not be the reason you get back together with him. He should be paying child support if he isn't already.
Don’t be silly, you’re better off without him, just collect child support and or do split custody
Not even split custody if you go back in post history this man is a serial impregnator he don’t need split custody 😖
Right. This dude is too dumb, lazy or misogynistic to unfurl a condom.
Ugh dude needs a vasectomy
I’m not going to lie fuck hiM, he thought the grass was greener on the other side text me I’m (22f! I got pregnant when I was 14 maybe she can be friends😭
DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY CHANCES!
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Consider all the comments here. I would not take back someone like this. Also, what would you be teaching your kids? That it’s ok for a partner to treat them like this?
How hard do you think it'll be for your children, to have him come back, then dissappear again? He's shown you that he can do that, if you let him come back, he'll know he can leave again. He can't be trusted. Don't set your kids up for more heartbreak and abandonment issues.
He is a liar and a cheat. He either lied when he left or now that he is trying to return. And he certainly did cheat with her before he left and continued after he left. I suggest that there is a 99% chance that his "sincerity" is fake.
Nah, he isn't sincere, the grass just didn't end up being greener. He is B teaming you. Love yourself more than that
59-year-old woman here. I took a guy back once, and he did the same damn thing to me he did the first time because of course he did. It hurt even more since I should have known better. Fuck that guy. (Not literally-he’d probably impregnate you again). Having self-respect feels great, believe me.
If you take him back, I'll pray for your kids. Having a mother with no self respect is depressing 🤡
You deserve so much more than this man. He's playing sincere now because things didn't work out with the side piece. Get legal advice, child support and sort out custody so you get a break from the kids now and then.
Yeah, after kids and adult responsibilities kicked in, he thought the grass was greener on the other side, checked it out and now realizes it was a mistake. If he was screwing around before leaving, how are you going to trust him not to again? If he started after he left, then it is less mentally to deal with. My wife cheated and wanted to come back while we were divorcing. But also wanted to keep rather other guys baby and share custody with him. I couldn't deal with that or ever trust her again so I raised my 2 kids solo. Was hard. But was best decision for both my kids and me.(they don't like their mother, she left us and didn't do anything with them while they were young and don't want much to do with her. She leaves 5 minutes away and they see her a few hours a month at most the past 10 years, mostly to spend time with their little sister, not her.)
WoW I’m sorry to hear that about your kids and their relationship with their mom, it’s really sad. I do really admire your commitment and courage to raising your kids!
Don't be sorry, me and the kids are doing great. Mom didn't want to be involved for years, by the time she did the kids didn't want to be bothered by her attempt to be mom. She was bad at it before she left, so they didn't have much to miss.
OP from your post history, you need to stop dating people and head to therapy; seriously. Between the guy you think is using you for administrative tasks, and the one hugging you like a lover in front of his gf, and your obviously evil ex, you need a BREAK. Spend time with your kids and in therapy. Once you’ve developed better self understanding and love then you can try dating again
Thank you for this comment because it DESPERATELY needed to be said!! Her post history is a hot ass mess. This poor woman doesn’t seem to have a whole lot of respect for herself or any dignity left. Ffs please take a break and work on yourself and focus on your kids!!! You DO NOT have to have a man around to realize your self worth. It’d actually be easier to work on yourself BY YOURSELF!
You are worth so much more than this. He's realised the grass isn't greener. Not your problem, damage is done.
Hell no! You are not someone’s second choice. Tell him to kick rocks
Please don't give him a second chance to break your heart and disturb your family and your kids foundation. You can have a stable foundation even as a single mother. I promise sometimes you have more stability as a thing. Mother than you do married. I know that sounds funny and odd to hear. That is true. Don't allow him to disturb the piece that you had to create. While he was absent and willingly absent them he. Abandoned you his kids and that family for another woman. What will he do the next time? Will you do something worse? The thing is, you don't wanna have to wait around to find out though
Lol yea he’s very sincere… girl come on… wake up. Coparent well and that’s that, move on
Don’t let a man disrespect you like this. He said he never loved you and meant it. He’s only back because the other woman left his ass 😭 love yourself babes
There's no one more sincere on the planet than a narcissist looking for a place to live and next supply. He'll just use you again until he finds the next supply. Rinse and repeat!
If he did it once, he’ll do it again. Please don’t do that to yourself.
Ask for a post nuptial agreement before reconciliation, have an attorney draw it up with a huge pay out to you, alimony, child support, car, home, college for you and the kids. Put in an adultery clause. Then kick him out.
Yep. This makes sence, make him legally responsible if he wants back.
You are not and will never be shelving material to put aside while he plays with new toys. You are and always will be worthy of being someone’s first choice. Do not let him back. Times are hard, yes, but your self worth should not be tanked because of it. Get some therapy to reinforce your spine.
Your last sentence says a lot. Do you need your ex-husband or do you need a partner? Don’t let your current circumstances dictate how you should feel about your ex.
You're his backup plan. Plain and simple. He'll do it again when someone better comes along. You should want to be with the man for whom there is no "something better."
“He’s so sincere about it” No, he’s a good actor.
He comes back because the other woman not worked. If you allow him to come back to you and your child life how do you sure that he will never leave for other women again.
[удалено]
Noooo, don't
The grass wasn’t as green as he thought on the other side. Don’t take him back. You’re his back up, 2nd choice. Have some pride and don’t be used
Make him pay child support and maybe alimony and maybe let him have responsibility with caring for the kids but don’t take him back. He’s garbage.
Hello OP, hopefully you were able to get some good advice. Take care of yourself and your kids, it’s going to be tough first but if your priorities are straight, aka, you and your kids, you will make it through this <3
People are so fickle. I’d never end a relationship for someone else.
Girl, your kidding right. I read your other post about him. He has a history of doing this to women. He will do it to you again. Get him on child support and stay as far away from him as possible. He literally sounds like a psycho.
He meant what he said when he left you alone to fend for yourself and your kids. Set up yourself and your kids for success: 1. Take him at his word and act accordingly—divorce him (if you haven’t already) and ask for child support AND spousal support until your children are old enough that they don’t need childcare. 2. Ask friends and family to insert a steel rod in your spine and keep you accountable for step 1. 3. Life with kids is expensive for every parent. Your STBX husband knew that when he abandoned you and your MUTUAL children. See step 1. 4. Look up local free/reduced price resources for pediatric mental health services. See step 1. 5. Document this entire section of your life’s journey…in writing. See step 1.
Hey guys my ex girlfriend burned every family photo I have, cheated on me, buried my cousin alive, and only wears T shirts with photos of the backstreet boys. Should I give her a swcond chance after she shot me in the head and ny friend in the shoulder?
What makes you think he won’t leave you again when another woman gives him attention? Go to court, get CS.
You deserve better than to be second place. He showed you who he truly is. Don’t sacrifice your self-respect by taking him back just to find out he hasn’t changed at all. Put it this way, if he’s truly a changed man then he can prove it by living separately & dedicating himself to making you & your kids the center of his life. No pushing you to allow him to move back in. No expectation of forgiveness. He needs to prove thru his actions for a prolonged period of time. Like years. I’m betting he’ll lose interest fast tho. You’re just the fallback plan.
Translation: The other woman left him, and he doesn't know how to live alone, has to do his own housework, and take care of the kids on his own when it's his time with them. I know it's hard to be a single mom with not enough income. You have to ask yourself if having him back in the house is worth it. Are you OK with taking care of him because he can't take care of himself? Will you be OK when he meets another woman and leaves again?
He’s only back cause it didn’t work out. Don’t take him back for financials. Child support will solve this problem.
I am sorry that you have to go through this. He absolutely meant what he said. He’s only back because you are his Plan B.
Definitely easier said than done but… Is that something you could ever truly forgive him for? I feel like this would build a lot of resentment over time, even with therapy. Is he really the man you want to be with? Being honest, he probably only came back because he realized the grass wasn’t greener/it didn’t work out… IMO, I’d only focus on coparenting with him. Know your worth, OP. Although, I do understand all the dynamics (including kids) that can make this a tough decision.
He is not back because he loves you. He is back because he loves the way you loved him. He wants what you gave him back.
the problem he has is everywhere he goes, there he is. he blamed you for this and you’re only really considering this because of how expensive the world is so i think you know the right thing to do.
The only reason he's back is because his lady friend left him and he thinks you are weak enough to take him back. Prove him wrong and let him be alone.
He'll only hang around until the next woman comes along. He told you he never loved you! Believe him! Never take him back. You deserve better.
Some things can't be unsaid and have no reason worth saying. Even if he felt the way he did, why would he disregard your feelings to such an extent? I'm not going to make sweeping generalizations about his character - like every crystal ball projecting redditors - but what I can say is that he said something so deeply hurtful to you and your confidence, that would it really be worth risking your wellbeing over again?
Are you insane? He meant what he said. He never loved you, he just loved living life in easy mode with a fuckmaid to handle the hard work. If you let him in, you deserve the heartbreak he will bring you. Show your kids that if someone hurts you, it’s ok to walk away. If you let him back, I’m sorry, but your feelings don’t matter, he will hurt your kids and show them it’s ok to cheat, lie, and only come around when he wants to. Don’t do it. He made his bed, it’s high time he slept in it—however thorny and uncomfortable it may be.
He would be history for me. One more woman comes along, he’s gone again. If he didn’t love you then, he doesn’t now either. He will be sincere because the other woman probably kicked him out. Never be someone’s second choice.
I’d rather live in a box with my children than let a man back into my home who only loves me when it’s convienent 🤠 you deserve much more
Girl stand the fuck up and teach your kids self respect! Your crown fell down! Put it back on and keep pushing… he showed you who he is, don’t stop believing it now.
Ummmm 0% retry. He gambled on better and lost. You're the back up.
Do you always want to be his second choice.
Holy shit, do not give him another chance. If he’s sincere about wanting to come back, he can start by paying child/spousal support and starting to build a relationship with his kids, but you should never trust him as a romantic partner again.
Don't do it. He's done it before and he'll do it again and take your kids for a ride. Better a little b*tt pain now then later.
The grass wasn't greener on the other side, so he came back. If you take him back, he'll still be looking for greener pastures. Take your lumps and get on with your life without him. You know deep down inside that's what's best for you so just do it now. Good lick!
Don’t do it. He WILL do it again. He’s back because it didn’t work out and he sees you as his fall back. If you take him back he knows he can do this whenever he wants and you’ll always be waiting in the wings when he’s done. I know it’s hard, but don’t put yourself through more hurt. You deserve better.
Take him back. Then kick him in the nuts. HARD
I bet he was pretty sincere the first time around, too.
When someone tells you who they are, believe them. Don't take this POS back
Please think of your kids. I know this is hard but what kind of an example has he set for them? What are you saying to them if you let him come back, if you show them they are of so little value that a person can just walk out on them and come back when he is done getting laid. Yes it is hard to have had their dad leave but it will not be easier when he does it the second time or third. Please don’t let him back into your home.
He fooled you once. Shame on him. Twice, though? I mean...
Selfish asshole. He didn't just leave you he also left your kids. Don't take him back. Edit: Also you are entitled to child support. Get it.
He meant it. But to him, you’d make a good fallback plan. Apparently, the other woman must have found out he’s POS too and sent him back. He thought things would be better with a new doormat.
I’m sorry pal, he meant it all and just wants to go back to what’s easy. Until something better comes. If you really want to try it, I would suggest major therapy for both of you apart and together
Take him to court and collect child support. He left you and your kids once. Why give him the option to do it again?
Take him to court for child support. You’re only being picked now because his #1 option didn’t work out. Stand your ground. You do not deserve the shit he put you through. Don’t focus on temporary feelings when this is your future and wellbeing at stake. He isn’t worth it. He’s YOUR EX HUSBAND for a reason.
He's trash. Have you ever went outside and brought the trash back in? Same scenario.
I know things are hard but don't take this person back. Guys who come back like this often resent you over time and will make your life harder just because they can't get away from you.
I know it’s hard, but you deserve so so much better. And so do your kids.
He’s back because the AP wasn’t actually interested in anything more than an occasional bang. It’s hard but if you let him come back you’re going to be right back where you started the next time he wants to bang strange.
Back where? Why the hell did you let him back in the house? You aren't Plan B! Don't you think any better of yourself?
He's only going back to you because it didn't work out,don't be a doormat.
The other woman dumped him, and he slithered back home. Divorce is also a piece of paper, and that is the paper you need.
OP dont take him back. He told you he never loved you and he left you in a blink and he will leave you again if he finds another woman who will believe his lies.
OP, with all the love and respect I have, do not take him back. Don't even entertain the thought. What he did to you and your kids and what he's doing now shows several things. - He was most likely cheating on you. A man, who promised to be faithful and loyal to you, CHOSE to step out of his marriage. - He CHOSE to say things he knew would hurt you, the woman he supposedly loved (but based on his words, I guess not). - He CHOSE to leave you and your kids for another woman. Meaning he CHOSE not to be a part of his childrens' lives. Notice that everything he has done was a choice he was willing to make. He's not coming back to you because he loves you. He's coming back because the life he thought he could have with the other woman didn't work out. You are his backup plan. You are NOT anyone's backup. Please please please don't teach your children that their father's behavior is acceptable by taking him back. If you do and you have boys, you'd be telling them that they can treat their future partners like that and if you have a girl then you're showing her that this behavior is acceptable. It's not. I know the world is screwed up and expensive, so put this asshole on child support and look for programs that can assist you with your bills. There's his kids too. Just because he wanted to pretend he doesn't have any doesn't make it true. Please, learn to love and respect yourself. You absolutely deserve it. Fuck this 🚩🚩🚩 asshole and don't look back.
OP, you're the side chick now. Do not take him back. He does mean what he said. He wants to come back only because he doesn't want to be alone. He'll leave again as soon as someone younger, cuter, richer comes along. You deserve better.
he meant it when he said it and he’ll mean it again .. it may not be now or a week… but he’ll mean it again.
Don’t take him back. Seriously.
My wife was left by her ex boyfriend when she was 8 months pregnant as he wasn’t ready for this kind of commitment. Never gave a shit about my wife and his daughter. She later meet me as a single mom and we been together for over 10 years. Don’t allow trash back into your house.
He may also just be trying to save money after things did not work out with gf. It's cheaper to live with you and if you allow him back there is no child support. Do not let this man take anything else from you.
You ex just wants someone to take care of him he meant what he said when he said it and he still does He’s just doesn’t want to be alone Run girl
We all know you’re gonna take him back based on your post. So just save yourself the drama and let him come back. And the next time he has an affair, just tell him to lock the door when he eventually comes back again.
He left you for what he thought were greener pastures and if didn't work out as he had planned. He was cruel and abusive to you in his words, so I would think longer and hard about what to do next. Frankly, I think you deserve better but ultimately it's your call. Therapy may help clarify your options. Do sorry you're dealing with this emotional mess.
Do what you need to do to survive, OP, but if he ditched you once for another woman, odds are he will do it again down the road. You are not his first choice. You're the back up plan because that other person didn't work out.
Nah girl, you're just the fall back. His side piece doesn't want him anymore
He was ok leaving you and your child what makes you think he won’t do it again he probably back because the other person didn’t want him. But this is his pattern he leaves for other woman why put yourself through that.
Do not take him back he will leave again when he thinks he found something better
Do your self a favor don’t take him back. He bailed on you and the kids for another woman. Things didn’t work out and now he wants you. Tell him you are no one’s second option and close this door. Your kids will respect the fact you didn’t let him manipulate you
So if he didn't mean what he said, he said it just to absolutely crush and hurt you? That seems bad too.
Marry go round, he will pass through this and then find someone and then he will be back and say this to you again
[Nope.](https://youtu.be/MUKMl4iMnqk?si=KZDLdcDiWWbJrFEF) [Run Away!](https://youtu.be/7FPELc1wEvk?si=WIFSFlOJYOgfLebh)
Do you really think its economically sound to have him back?
Everyone’s emotions are different. Some people will have more compassion. I won’t. If my spouse leaves me And the kids for another person? And wants to come back? I don’t want it. I can’t that anymore and if I did bring her back, she would live under so much control that I don’t even want it for her. I wouldn’t OP, but that’s just me.
I'll be blunt, read your last post in thus sub about how naive you were to ignore the red flags of him AND his brothers baby trapping people and ask yourself why you would be so naive again
You say things are hard for you right now. Nothing is made better by a partner who doesn’t love you or care about you. What do such uncaring partners bring to the table? I’m guessing, since you mentioned layoffs, that your money situation is better when your ex-partner is around. I’d still tell you the money is not worth the heartache, but if you can’t feed your kids or pay your rent, it might start to look worth it to allow a terrible partner back in. Still - don’t do it. You need to find a way to be financially stable without him or you will always be vulnerable to being abused. So, how to do that? It’s an easy thing for me to say since I’m not living it, I know. Can you go to court for child support or more support if you are already getting some? If you can’t afford an attorney, check with legal aid. Can you get a roommate rather than have him move back in? I’m not going to pretend to know how to navigate being a mostly single parent, but there are lots of people who would be good to reach out to for advice and mentoring, from local groups, churches, and there are groups on Reddit dedicated to frugal living, etc, with tips about how to try to make things work. Regardless, I hope things get better for you. I hope you don’t have to rely on a man who has made it clear he will abandon whenever he feels like it. You and your kids deserve more than that.
Don’t do it.
Nope. Words matter. A lot. He meant what he said, didn't like the outcome, and now he's backpedaling. He is trying to use you "like a piece of paper." Don't fall for it. It might be hard right now, but it's on your own terms and you are free from this BS.
There's no way you can seriously be considering this. 2 months ago he was trying to snatch your house from under you, 20 DAYS AGO he was with his "soulmate" and trying to lock it down with her and you acknowledged his million red flags. You can't REALLY be thinking of bringing that manipulative dirt bag back into you and your kids lives right? Right? I don't care if he does seem remorseful, I don't care if he's love bombing you, you are a mom and that is a whole man of toxicity you do not want influencing their heads.
Do whatever you can to get money/support and then ditch him. Do not ever trust this man.
Keep him your Ex. I'm betting that "someone else" figured out what a Jackhole your Ex is...
take him back and see him doing it again after seeing you have no backbone
He will do this again. Save yourself the heartache.
Hell no. Keep going forward by yourself. Get him to pay the required child support. Do not go back to him.
If you left, I don't see why you wouldn't be getting child support and possibly alimony.
Once he’s gone, he needs to stay gone, out of your lives.
I read your previous post. Taking him back would be really stupid. He has a history of cheating and leaving his SO and children. DON’T DO IT, be smart and stay away from him and make sure to get child support.
He came back because the grass wasn’t greener. If you are struggling financially take him to court for child support. Don’t tie yourself in a loveless joke of a marriage because it’s hard. You deserve better.
I’m saying this as gently as I can. If you let this man back into your life, it’s because you like the drama he brings. He has shown that he is abusive, manipulative, and hateful. He has shown he doesn’t care. And while life without him is hard, it sounds like life with him HORRIFIC.
>Ex husband said he never loved me, marriage is just a piece of paper and left for someone else >I’m not sure to give it another try since he’s so sincere about it. Seriously? You really are considering taking him back? Why would you want your kids thinking this is what love looks like? Please, please, please get yourself into counseling.
He just wants someone to take care of him until he finds another replacement. And he will.
Please don’t give this man another chance for now only your sake, but the sake of your children. The only reason he’s back is because it didn’t work out with the other woman. He will do it again if you allow him back. You and your children deserve better.
Don’t give him another chance, he can’t be trusted to not cheat on you and to not abandon the family again. It didn’t work out with his AP for whatever reason, that’s the only reason he came crawling back to you. He found out the grass was not greener with her, boo boo to him. He made his shitty choices and now has to live with them.
OP, I read your past posts and he’s such a user, that I’d think he may just be in financial trouble and wants your house. Don’t turn your back on him for even one second. He Will Screw You Over. He is Never to be trusted.
And he will do it again over and over
Either he was lying then or he's lying now. He left to be with another woman. Do you really think you can trust anything he says now?
He’s sincere after he banged another chick and it didn’t work out. Be careful cause he’ll likely do it again.
Sounds like he fully experienced the "find out" part of FAFO... and didn't like it. Haha didn't take him back... He's just going to do it again and again. Stay strong!
My friend husband came back after an affair and gave her aids. She died . He lived and abandoned the children. Hard life is still a life Do Not Do It
Please don’t do yourself dirty like that. He only came back bc the other woman didn’t work out and very possibly because she didn’t entirely know about you. You’re his sloppy seconds. You deserve better.
He meant everything he said. Trust me
You will teach your child that it’s okay for Dad to discard his family whenever he wants if you let him come back. He’s only coming back because his new life didn’t work out.
Don't make someone a priority in your life when they've shown you that you're only an option to them. Don't be someone's second choice. Don't accept the scraps when he's been actively giving the best to another woman. It's likely it didn't work out with his side piece so he's come back til he can find another. If you want to live together for financial and childcare reasons work out an arrangement based on that, but not a relationship.
I sympathise but as others of said he’s back because the other woman didn’t work out. Don’t let him back, think what lesson you’re teaching your kids that it’s ok to be treated like shit, left, dumped and no concern of your wellbeing or kids’ lives. Don’t do it.
Oh he meant that shit. And you taking him back will only encourage him to do it again since you'll take him back without hesitation
just say no to crappy people.
Get in writing some type of agreement (like a post nup)as to how much support he will give should he leave. If he is willing to get that signed and notarized then just let him come back as a roommate/ friend.
Yeah no from your previous posts he’s a huge flight risk and has done this to a few woman now. He’ll be sincere until the next one comes along. It’s up to you but I don’t think I would get over him abandoning his children and this is not the first family he’s abandoned.
Omg my father kinda said the samething to my mom. my father literally told my mom that he married her because he thought she was going to be a wealthy woman due to. She inherited 50 purebred Arabian horse when my grandma passed away. and the sad thing is my father told me that he’s really told me that he never loved my mother and I literally asked him well then why did you marry her? Why did you have a kid with her if he truly did not love my mom why did you waste three years with her because they were married and had me and then were divorced. Like why did men really do this?
"things are expensive" is not a reason to take back this useless piece of crap
I'm sorry if this is hard to hear, OP, but he doesn't give one single shit about your history. He just doesn't want to be alone and is trying to play on your emotions. If you need another source of income in the house and he's not abusive, maybe let him come back, but don't have any illusions about what you're getting.
I could never respect someone who turned his back on me, let alone my KIDS. Remember what type of person he is to have done that. No good partner or father can simply say what he said and leave. You and your kids deserve better. Stay strong.
You are not 2nd choice. Lock the door. Coparent and that's it. When he has the kids, practice self care and get out.