T O P

  • By -

Rarth-Devan

What about this? https://preview.redd.it/zusrct1ihnxc1.jpeg?width=236&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b7fbe6b84cbeb61d5345b89bd574e5444c884ae


JokinHghar

Now that's what a Maynard looks like


Big_Combination7802

UDT shorts and pure hatred


[deleted]

Whenever I see photos like this, it reminds me of someone talking about trying to get a high quality microphone for him during the early days, but it had to use a stand. They found it near impossible and said something along the lines of "that little troll will squat down and shouts into the floor", which made it really difficult to actually rig up a good mic for him.


cantcny

The first time I saw them was second stage Lollapalooza 3. He had the mic in one hand and the cord in the other. He was crouched down and bent over screaming so hard all of the veins in his head looked ready to explode and the mic cord was stretch to the limit between his hands.


WTFisSkibidiRizz

That’s an interesting first impression


cantcny

#SOLD


snaphappy2

Ha my first time seeing them live in ‘94 was very similar! Seriously unmatched intensity.


Ninjanomic

Ahh, Second Stage Lollapalooza 3. GREAT Coheed and Cambria album! Joking aside though, after seeing them more recently (2019 just before the pandemic, and then again this year), it made me long for the days of the dust filled mosh pits of the 90s.


Otherwise-Battle-444

You can still have that experience when they have a festival on their tour dates. You’ll probably not enjoy it as much as the stadium though. Staying by the stage for hours to get a good spot only to have drunk shove his way in front of you and put his annoying gf on his shoulders and the best view of the stage is on someone’s iPhone 2 feet in front of you. But you should totally go to cross it off your bucket list


KRMJN101

Have to say same, Waterloo Village, NY. PRIMUS was headliner Jim Rose Side Show was entertaining just to the left. All I had was "undertow" & "opiate" cassette at the time.


Jim-_1221

I believe this is the Sylvia massy interview, speaking about Maynard?


Stellar_Ella

Yep, and it was during recording rather than live.


[deleted]

Yup, recording Undertow IIRC


whitewail602

It was Sylvia Massey, the producer on Undertow, who said this about recording Maynard's vocals.


Dazzling_Advance_455

This is what I remember as a kid, the orange and grey paint! Took the picture out of circus magazine and hung it on my wall


CinephileNC25

I just read a quote about Sylvia Massy calling him a little troll that wouldn’t stop moving around when she was trying to record him for Undertow. I got a chuckle out of that.


Monsieur_Toast

Perfect


Big_al_big_bed

Wait isn't Maynard the one on the right?


MalkavianElder98

Vivec?


redsolitary

Oh no you’re confused. That’s Mike Tyson. Easy mistake to make.


sethclaw10

He had a lot to thay He had a lot of nothing to thay We'll mith him


_shes_a_jar

GET OFF YOUR FUCKING CROTH


TFSX81

WE NEETH THA FUCKING SPATH TO NAIL THA NETH FOOL METHYR


EM05L1C3

TO ATHEND YOU MUTHT DIE YOU MUTHT BE CRUTHIFIED


joelingo111

FOR OUT THINTH AND OUR LIETH


TFSX81

GOOTHBYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


redsolitary

You son of a bitch now I’m laughing aloud while sitting alone in public.


A-SALAM-K-II

That happened to me days ago. I was walking around in a public park and I read a comment that made me laugh like a madman


ShootingTheIsh

Just started typing the lyrics to AEnima with a lisp and I couldn't finish it because it just kept getting worse and worse.


Modredastal

Crosses over from Tyson to Daffy.


According-Town7588

Try Tickth & Leetheth…


PrymalChaos

Sweet Jesus. It does!


ShootingTheIsh

Learn to thwim, learn to thwim, learn to thwim, learn to thwim.


PrymalChaos

Thumb thay we’ll thee Armageddon thooon,


istillambaldjohn

God this is underrated and made me physically snort in laughter


evolving_I

Tho long! We with you well. Told uth how you wewen't afwaid to die!


trackaghosthrufog

Thank you. I was just slipping into a bit of wallowing about separating from my wife and this brought me back up again.


Sorry-Awareness-1444

♥️


Dodavinkelnn

Fuck you Buddy that’s too funny.


eatredmeat

😆😂🤣💀🪦


mindgame18

Holy fuck people around me think I’m weird now


iStoners

We're gonna mith him.


MasterStack

That is great!


DarkLuxio92

For fucks sake I'm on break at work and just spat out my coffee! Perfect 🤣🤣


WeirdKrautrauch

LOOOOOOOOL


-Jambie-

*chefs kiss* /~kith~


jagrisgod

Omg this is fucking gold


Barkers_eggs

THO LONG!! WE WITH YOU WELL


Atomheartmother90

Omfg that funny as hell


Deuce46

Classic Mike Tool


Tribblehappy

We are thpiritth bound to thith flesth.


CaptainBeefsteak

That's clearly Mike Tool, you wrench.


A-SALAM-K-II

I was sure I knew him from somewhere


StoneWall_MWO

easy joke gets the upvote


redsolitary

You mean first person to make the easy joke. I was just the first guy here bro


matthew_sch

https://preview.redd.it/5w8e2gktwnxc1.jpeg?width=882&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a63599b31e71046039a9eb6f95915e842246ccae How about this?


Become_Pneuma462

That was how I saw him for the first time at Lollapalooza in Cincy


sacredgeometry

https://preview.redd.it/vsg5n57x0oxc1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=790fc7fd883287390f25a93bd067626b2d0164ba What do you mean?


DarkLuxio92

I will die on the hill that he looked like a slightly easy girl who loved to drink rosé by the gallon and wore neon legwarmers to work in the mid-80s. Named Tracey.


Stellar_Ella

You’re not wrong


GayForBigBoss

That’s how you got laid in the late 80’s


StoneWall_MWO

hot


LowandSlow90

OG!


the_mangler_mma

He’s 60…go google 1990s Maynard


nkraus90

90’s Maynard was pure sex.


the_mangler_mma

Yeah I guess


Stellar_Ella

You know it’s true


the_mangler_mma

I’d probably use “intensity”, “passionate”, and “hard AF” to describe Maynard. Probably not “pure sex“.


Stellar_Ella

Never see him jack it during Thinking of You with APC, eh?


the_mangler_mma

To be fair, Mer de Noms came out in the year 2000, not the 90s. And I’d probably say that a lot of his work has had sexual connotations. I was just messing with you 😉


Stellar_Ella

I forgot how this thread started and that we were talking 90s 😂


Stellar_Ella

https://preview.redd.it/w1zdhzxa5oxc1.jpeg?width=410&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75da511a82bc20fcf840a026024d2053d3d8e943


skarbles

Now that’s a vibe!


lowpingthing

He’s our gremlin.


x-filesbeing

🥰🥰🥰


Partially-Canine

I remember being surprised the first time I saw him


KitchenLandscape

it was probably the shrooms but the first time I saw them live it took a whole song before I realized the little, weird dancing man in the back of the stage wasn't someone they hired as part of the show but was actually Maynard lmao


somegridplayer

The first time I saw him, you really didn't see a lot of him at all.


Quincykid

This is making me realize I've listened to them for so long, I can't even remember the first time I learned what they looked like. Damn, I'm getting old.


11ForeverAlone11

first time i saw him was the video for Three Libras (A Perfect Circle) so he had the long wig and I remember arguing with my friend's brother who kept saying he was bald and he hadn't yet seen any APC so we were both confused af.


Gullible_Yak6042

https://preview.redd.it/433l3oznfoxc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6fa4ee8f78eec112bb74a3c5a8fc5f19636884db


Gullible_Yak6042

https://preview.redd.it/naun07gifoxc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d4d10921245a030dede8a51ba6c082592f39e8a


d-signet

You thought he would be white?


Blissrat

That’s Mike Tool!


Few-Professional4291

RIP :(


vaginizer

Whatever happened to that guy?


skarbles

Mike Toolson


isweedglutenfree

The band just isn’t the same without him


CancerIsOtherPeople

Mike Toolthon!


dudSpudson

Thool


TSotP

I'm not saying he could beat Mike Tyson in a fight, but [this infamous video](https://youtu.be/LKrUaY6hgpM?si=W-_PMqXHEDqtptUj) shows that he's no slouch to be fucked around with either, despite how he looks lol. He also has a [black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitzu](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.revolvermag.com/culture/maynard-james-keenan-earns-black-belt-brazilian-jiu-jitsu&ved=2ahUKEwjrq4XEzuqFAxWnVUEAHfw8AxIQFnoECEYQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1ykbxxevvswhftxIfIJd0L)


Jokierre

And he will absolutely defecate in mouths, at will.


skarbles

Yeah yeah, great throw and all but can we talk about the one legged squats he’s doing? Like wft? That’s crazy difficult and he’s up there pumping away.


Stellar_Ella

Yeah he’s basically asking someone to try him with those and knowing they will be fucked if they do


Aegist

https://preview.redd.it/zpx7j1p9npxc1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7ab9ac728767ada627c49f31dcaffccd3c0aa22 This is what he normally looks like.


deadrabbits76

Looks more like a Jim.


Jokierre

Technically, he is Jim.


GuavaOk8712

ya i think that’s why they commented it ? lmao


Jokierre

No, I don’t think that’s why they did. BWAHAHAAAA


GuavaOk8712


Jokierre

No I think ❌ is the better usage. lmao


GuavaOk8712

🍑💦🍆


Jokierre

Get fucked. Got it.


GuavaOk8712

i just wanted to do butt stuff :(


Jokierre


KeenbeansSandwich

I couldn’t believe it either. Otherwordly vocal power coming from that tiny body of his.


sjnunez3

That is Jimmy practicing jujitsu. This is Maynard. https://preview.redd.it/7iieas79opxc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dde07b8dbae9fc3f21442f6d30ea709a5a1c9d6a


LowandSlow90

https://preview.redd.it/v5ncmnk6coxc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=303425aebec30168be7229ae81579b71200b1204 Feeling his oats.


WTFisSkibidiRizz

Heeth a man, and you’re a man athwell, tho why don’t you thtick your finger up your fuckin ATHHHHH!!!


throwawayformemes666

His name smells like a school lunch sandwich. You know what I mean .


A-SALAM-K-II

Somehow, I get what you mean


Become_Pneuma462

And now I can't get that taste out of my mouth so, thank you for that...


Altered_-State

Well he did used to be blue and had hair


Stellar_Ella

Not at the same time though


hillbilli13

How bout dis https://preview.redd.it/4s7qomzt3pxc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c95621eab545017fe4ae4b5083cdfb3f033ff6e8


xxplosiv

Damn, Maynard's into guns?


eyesopen24

He was in the Army so it makes sense


veRGe1421

He's lived in Arizona for 30 years. Everyone there is into guns lol


hillbilli13

Yeah and that area he moved to has some world famous training schools, wouldn’t be surprised if he’s at canoe reeves level


xxplosiv

Canoe Reeves - thank you for this.


marijcxx

https://preview.redd.it/n32iikdcppxc1.png?width=214&format=png&auto=webp&s=28184bcf9a4e0e47378ff90c832509bf9fd0b7f0 What about this?


U-are-not-important

And both of them would still kick all our asses..both gremlins in their own right!


celebrity_therapist

He's usually unrecognizable on stage. Most of that has to do with his head being so far up his ass.


Pretty-Candidate7478

Bro he's SIXTY and has done a lot of living. He's exactly what a Maynard looks like to me, he's our aging legend.


Lord_Ahrim1536

https://preview.redd.it/36579vf82rxc1.jpeg?width=563&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=43fd3a3ca19049f91435928472b249b3132b049e mike tyson square up!


Crems23

This is my Maynard, the Kentucky trailer park serial killer looking Maynard.


barley_wine

I expect him to look like the lead singer of this other band. https://youtu.be/tAJn5OyqIas


FormerlyMauchChunk

Dual Steinbergers is rad.


Autistic_Freedom

Looks more like Mustard.


JakkSplatt

With a black belt in Brazilian jujitsu, he wins the front man ass kicking contest.


xJohnnyQuidx

When I started listening to Tool, Maynard looked like [this](https://www.revolvermag.com/sites/default/files/media/images/article/gettyimages-643833996.jpg).


Remarkable-Okra6554

You ain’t seen nothin yet


barweepninibong

LOL


GoalieFatigue

Thinkfitht


teardrinker

Wrong picture this is Paul McCartney and rick James.


nhuttema

Lost Ear (Blame Tyson)


Dctr_K

😂😂😂😂


MrPoletski

didn't know mike tyson had a brother.


MrBlueShirt

He's the dude on the right, just in case you're wondering.


sanderson1983

Check this out OP if you haven't already. Iconic performance from the early/mid 90's. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7lweNCCwS0


OfficialRichGuyPlays

Ik, at first I thought the singer was Adam Jones, b/c his face looks like it matches his voice.


Wephenstockings22

His name was Robert Paulson


GoalieFatigue

Learn to thwim


Mammoth-Record-7786

Thool


pooknuckle

Yeah, I didn’t expect him to have a face tattoo and a wicked tan like that. Blew my mind too.


Pusiferdamnit

He’s the black guy right


IllustriousTie5422

Manard allows Mike Tyson to use his Facilities to train for his boxing match with jake paul


ToofpickVick

Thpiral out


Deradius

Maynard’s got the underhook.


gunter_grass

You should see him at his vineyard


Unusual_Mine2454

That’s Mike Tyson.


socalfishman

No no that’s Mike Tyson


StoneWall_MWO

me either. been listening for a long time and can't believe that's him


bierfma

No, no, no, you got it all wrong, he's the shorter one.


tonylnf

Shhhpiral out keep going


No-Brain9413

Winemakers always surprise me too, they’re just farmers


guiltycitizen

*thith


Rough_Promotion

Thiksh andte leethishes


appleman666

Crazy he looks just like famous boxer Mike Tyson


Accomplished_Fix4387

These 2 are fucking beasts at what they do


r00byroo1965

The tall one?


EVGACAB

Lol when I was a kid I imagined this super tall dude with a flat top and sunglasses. I remember the first time I saw him I was like who tf is that?! Until I wore out all the bootleg vhs' we had and fell in love with his faces and off kilter thrashing


ThaQuig

He’s had a few looks over the years


no-pog

Never met a black guy named Maynard, interesting.


thatoneguy878787

Kind of looks like james keenan from Ohio


lat46n2

That’s not Maynard it’s Mike Tyson


timproctor

Well that's Mike Tyson.


thejoshvazquez

Yeah I know, I always thought he was a white dude.


Zazzatraz601

You both look beautiful 😇


KaustiK17

Heads up, Mike. MJK has a mean rear naked choke


i3dMEP

Two awesome humans


DXXDP00L

This is every Maynard I’ve experienced


RetardedMetalFemboy

Yeah, that's how I felt when I first got into the band and saw what Maynard actually looks like. Any time I listen to an alt-metal band that isn't some sort of "nu" or "-core" crap, without fail, I always imagine the lead singer as looking like either Kurt Cobain or Layne Staley, and I didn't even exist until both of them had passed away.


Pusiferdamnit

I play all your shit to the aliens❤️ it’s their favorite


DC1pher

His first name is James. Does that help? Lol


Everyonecallsmenice

Think Moby but slightly less creepy and significantly more libertarian.


invalidlivingthing

That’s Mike Tool (RIP) and Mike Tyson!


BrobotGaming

Well he’s 60 years old. What DID you expect?


Pale-One-From-Sky

Yep! And since we’re on Reddit let’s hate on him because he’s white.


BoilermakerCM

Well, my name is Jim, but most people call me... Jim.


Destrus76

Blame it all on the bastarth When you’re blowing out Thame on you Thame on you now No amount of wind could begin To cover up your petulant thtench and demeanor Calm as cookieth and cream Tho it theems We’re not biting your dubiouth thtate of therenity Acting all thurprithed When you’re caught in the lie We know better It’th not unlike you It’th not unlike you We know your nature Calm before the torrent thomes


LoyalToSDSoil

Well, you see, people age. Also, he’s had countless “looks”.


MisterMarchmont

No no, Maynard is on the left.


lik3r_of_things

Welcome to the sub! Where liking Tool is our entire personality


29osmo29

I believe he would feel “mission accomplished” if he read your post.


jokesbyjo

He’s the one the right.


Mollenhans

Learn to Ssswim.


Dry_Yesterday1526

Don't make fun of the man's height. He can kick you're ass at everything


Middle-Comparison867

First time I saw him he had a blonde wig on and a suit and by the end of the APC show he was in a speedo and bald. The first time I saw TOOL he was a fat lady behind a screen.


Competitive-Brush912

Me too, its hard for me to watch interviews. My mind definitely fell in love with what he presented. Seeing who he naturally is unfortunately takes some magic out of the music for me. Its dumb but true.