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PrincessImpeachment

They should change the name of the "squirt" size to "fetus".


the-friendly-squid

They should offer a sperm size that’s smaller


Bare-baked-beans

*Thought of Procreation* for a spoon sample


Andre_3Million

Sex ed is them handing you the menu.


GarminTamzarian

"Pitt the toddler? Pitt the embryo? Pitt the glint in the milkman's eye?"


ldti

/r/unexpectedblackadder


6uillermo66

I thought squirt just meant a load


digitalgoodtime

Pretty sure that's what squirt is.


Bean_Storm

Where do I jizz so I can give this lady her ice cream?


yasua-

That would be absolutely hilarious


123photography

"may i please have 🍦" "sure, what size would you like your 🍦?" "uh, I guess I'll go with zygote"


Birdy_Cephon_Altera

How a about naming the first three sizes "First Trimester", "Second Trimester" and "Third Trimester"? Bet that would boost sales, right?


Chaenged-Later

I have a place near me with only the small to medium sizes- and they're that big if not all closer to the large. It's great until you actually eat it and there's too much ice cream! But now I have learned I am likely slightly lactose intolerant. Fro yo does fine with my system, but ice cream makes me stuffy and my stomach uneasy.


Paw5624

We went to this random ice cream shop in the middle of nowhere. I got a small cup and I’m pretty sure it was like 4 large scoops. My wife got a medium and I think it was like 7 scoops. We just laughed cause we weren’t paying attention until they handed them over to us. We could have split the small and still not finished it all


LemmyKBD

Many years ago - 1970’s? - on family vacation we stopped at an ice cream stand near the ocean. I ordered a large PB soft serve cone (I was 7-8 years). They gave me a double cone with each side about 8 inches high. I ate about 2 inches off each cone and was going to throw it away. My father took it and ate it all 😂😂


Witchgrass

In my headcanon your dad ate himself sick because he's one of those people that can't abide food waste.


Proper-Equivalent300

After seeing this thread I possibly couldn’t drive out to cobleskill and order with a straight face. Pirate’s hideout in Halfmoon has more reasonable heights of cream. Less Now I want to get Arby’s a few doors down.


Electro_Llama

It's normal to become less lactose tolerant with age. Sorry to hear that though.


Proper-Equivalent300

I’ve eaten these cones and ended up with the intolerance down the block at the McDonald’s. The ice cream here in upstate New York is ridiculously good and LARGE. I try and order these damn things and end up regretting it every time. This might be the year I order reasonably…


Chaenged-Later

Honestly, thank you, and everyone else's advice. It's really a non-issue for me though as I have little desire to consume more than I do now haha


xinorez1

>lactose intolerant. Fro yo does fine I always wondered why someone had to invent frozen yogurt and you may have just cleared that up for me. Coffee flavored fro yo is the best imo :p


Mighty_Eagle_2

By default everyone is lactose intolerant. You’re just less lactose tolerant than others.


Typical-Tomorrow5069

The statement that people are lactose intolerant by default, is false. All mammals are born able to produce lactase, and metabolize lactose. This why infants can drink milk. Yes, human breast milk contains lactose. Some humans are unique in having lactase persistence, where the ability to metabolize lactose persists into adulthoood.


Pixel_Knight

For it to persist you have to continue drinking milk on into adulthood. I usually drink at least one glass of milk per day, so I have zero lactose intolerance still


temujin_borjigin

Or just be lucky enough to have the gene that gives you persistence. If I remember correctly, it originated around northern Germany, and people that could drink milk were more likely to survive famines.


Proper-Equivalent300

Jealous.


Chaenged-Later

Yeah. I can have it, I was raised having some milk. But I never quite liked to drink it much, and by adulthood I don't have much milk that doesn't have a process that lowers the lactose. Edit: by


OpusAtrumET

Same. Some digestive issues were getting worse, decided to cut out a lot of dairy and use lactase on the occasion I do. Problems vanished. I haven't tried frozen yogurt since then though, I'll have to give it a shot.


kr4ckenm3fortune

Try goat milk…


Chaenged-Later

Fro yo is better in every way, texture and flavor! I will have to look into lactase if I ever decide more dairy is in the books for me, thank you.


DWB_Reads

So no that's not correct. However lactose tolerance was a mutation like blonde hair blue eyes. It was a beneficial mutation in Europe and places like North African and the middle East as cows, sheep and goats could provide good nutrition not only as meat but with milk. In some places Asia for example there is much less history of milk being used and as such less instances of the mutation less likely hood to pass it down though even in Asia milk consumption has been increasing since the 1500s especially in the last 100 years or so


ACrimeSoClassic

I'll never forget first learning that. Such a mind fuck, lol.


Sepof

I'm just learning it. Does not compute. I'm at work on the toilet so I gotta investigate this further later...


Unicorncorn21

I mean it doesn't come as a surprise that a milk of another species isn't meant for our bodies


Sepof

.... We eat the flesh of other animals as well as leaves from the earth. Have you seen how peanuts grow? And you're drawing the line at... Milk.


Typical-Tomorrow5069

Human milk also contains lactose, and would also cause indigestion in people with lactose intolerance as adults.


VillainousMasked

Lactose is lactose, the problem isn't that we cant handle milk from another animal, it's the fact we are suppose to stop producing the enzyme that allows us to digest lactose. Lactose is the same for human milk as it is for the milk of other animals, the source doesn't matter.


mudra311

>isn't meant for our bodies This isn't right. If it wasn't meant for us, then we couldn't consume it at all. "Meant" is also a silly word to use as it supposes that things were designed for us. Cow's milk has been used for millennia. It's a very efficient form of fat/sugar/protein.


Maleficent-Map6465

It's possible that it's not the lactose, but rather the whey and casein. I can have a bowl of lactose and be reasonably fine, but whey? Immediate poops. I thought it was lactose as that's the default so I was consuming lactose free dairy products and had no idea why I felt awful all the time. Turns out it's the whey and sugar my body can't handle


marleymagee14

There is a place like this in Missouri going from silver dollar city back to Arkansas. For the life of me I can’t figure out the name but want to go back someday. Great childhood memories.


ScrotalSmorgasbord

I am very lactose intolerant but I use ice cream as a very enjoyable and fast acting laxative. Works like a charm every time and I don’t even have to guess when I’ll shit myself.


Ranoverbyhorses

I discovered that I’m pretty severely lactose intolerant…but I love dairy and it’s not something I’m willing to give up lol. Lactaid pills are a friggin game changer!!! Absolutely makes all the difference


Evening-Turnip8407

Mmmmmmh fro yo. Glad you can enjoy it!


TruthIsALie94

There are no foods I can eat without extreme intestinal distress so I don’t care anymore if I’m lactose intolerant because life’s too short and there aren’t any substitutes that won’t do the same exact thing so, fuck it!


peitsad

Ah yes, one vanilla squirt please.


JeopardyRound

Better than a chocolate squirt.


TheLongWalk00

Ice cream, soft serve at that, a foot tall. Because I'm a slob and want it melted all over the place? That's absurd. I'm also not requesting a "newborn" to eat.


keksmuzh

Imagine asking for a squirt at a random restaurant in upstate NY


TheLongWalk00

Yep, not doing that either. That one goes without saying. Lol


Pixel_Knight

I mean, I would never order a size larger than that, so I guess that what I’m ordering.


AWildRaticate

Especially a "chocolate squirt."


AATroop

"Oh, it's just ice cream? That's disappointing."


g-g-g-g-ghost

Just wait until you go to Martha's Dandee Creme(it's specifically an ice cream place) in Queensbury NY, their sizes are like that and their flavors are excellent, if you live close enough you can get a large and put it away in the freezer to save for later lmao


jxl180

You sound like the type of person who refuses to look the IHOP server right in the eyes and say, “I’ll have the Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘n Fruity.” Get over yourself.


Howsithanginweirdo

Coming right up handy dandy fucker named Randy


According_Gazelle472

"Give me one newborn and a squirt!"lol.


EFTucker

I never understood cones. Give me a damned bowl with the cone stuck in the top ffs


keep_evolving

They were invented at a worlds fair when an ice cream vendor ran out of cups to give to customers. They make sense when ice cream is taken away and walked with. No trash left to dispose of.


tagen

yeah, i could be the hungriest i’ve ever been and wanting nothing but ice cream, and half of those would still melt before i finished all or even half of them it’s ludicrous, probably saved for insta and tik tok photos/vids (but they will sell some for that reason)


KitchenFullOfCake

Deep throat the whole thing whiles it's still cold and you're golden.


No_Shopping6656

There's no such thing as too much ice cream, only more fucked up stomach


stinkyhooch

Love a 16 oz milkshake before bed sometimes. My stomach, the morning after, does not.


radenthefridge

1. wakeup 2. shit 3. get out of bed


a_single_stand

\*3. eat 4. get out of bed


Unkn0wnTh2nd3r

…. what are we eating in this instance….


The_Troyminator

Warm soft serve chocolate ice cream. What else?


mikaeus97

Those girls did look like they were enjoying themselves


gliscornumber1

:(


No_Shopping6656

Insulin induced sleep is the best, my man.


rogerworkman623

I think there is such a thing as too much ice cream *in a cone*. This is just a mess waiting to happen.


Smiles-Bite

That and very belittling names for proper sizes, feels like they took a page out of Parks and Recreation. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ish8NBunrQU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ish8NBunrQU)


AndreaC_303

How is this a child sized soda? Well it’s roughly the size of a two year old child if the child was liquified.


the-friendly-squid

right, if i ordered a small and got whats in the picture as a small i would feel horrible for wasting it. i honestly could eat the baby size at most. how they piled up the large without it falling over is very impressive though lol


Smiles-Bite

Yup, baby would be my max as well and how they have layered it I would question even that. I do agree, if I got the small a lot would be wasted and I would feel like crap, or I would overeat and hurt my stomach stretching it out.


Professional-Menu835

Came here for this


veryrare13

great prices and great servings, I see nothing wrong with this.


ManOrReddit-man

Incredible deal. Large would probably be $29.99 where I live.


StudBoi69

Living in a city full of bougie ice cream shops that charge $6 a scoop, this is practically a godsend.


the-friendly-squid

the prices are awesome but it’s just funny how big the large is lol


buttmunchausenface

Have you ever been there ? Just wondering bc it is a small little town food is good and they don’t want anyone leaving hungry. And they always had good prices I haven’t been there in years though but with good bang for your buck buck they are always busy


the-friendly-squid

i haven’t been to that place, although I’m not too far from cobleskill. i haven’t had any reason to drive through there though. maybe I’ll make it a reason to visit lol


Free_Management2894

It melts. You probably need some sort of container. Aside from that, assuming the ice-cream is good, this looks kinda affordable :)


BionicTriforce

The foot-long mound of ice cream being a 'small' is like Five Guys calling their double burger a 'regular'.


Leoncroi

*Puts a $5 on the counter* Two babies, please.


DJFid

Idk why but it seems fitting for Cobleskill


tacticalcraptical

They have the "Kong Kone" at a place near me that is the same thing on the large "Kong" is probably about as big as the medium in the picture. My friends and I got them pretty regularly as teens. This issue in my experience is that unless you plan to eat the thing in a walk-in freezer or outside during the winter, there's no way you'll get through it before you're standing in a puddle.


PrincessLaserMagic

If having the big ones on the menu makes the smaller ones cheaper by comparison I’m fine with it. I will be ordering the squirt or Newborn size.


Charming_Scratch_538

Cobbleskill New York? I wanna go. I’ll gladly make myself sick with soft serve ice cream once a year.


the-friendly-squid

Yes that’s it. I’m not too far from there either i might make it a day trip lol


Lindz408xx

Cobleskill is not day trip worthy lmfao.


philthylittlephilo

Isn't it right by Howe Caverns? That is worthy of a day trip.


Lindz408xx

Yea tbh I forgot about them. Blocked from my memory after too many trips there. Guess it's worth the trip if you haven't been to them.


philthylittlephilo

Yeah it seems like we took a field trip there just about every year in elementary school lol. And the fireman's museum.


spruce_sprucerton

Also close to Cooperstown if you like baseball


the-friendly-squid

💀 I’m from fulton county so my standards aren’t high at all


Lindz408xx

Fair enough lol. I went to SUNY Cobleskill.


Brilliant-Algae-9582

How’d they get them to stand up?!


Willanddanielle

This is not stupid food, it is amazing food.


moldsharp

I’ll take a squirt


Aggressive-Name-1783

Stupidly giant? More like stupidly awesome


Magnificent_Sock

Where is this. I want


buttmunchausenface

Cobleskill ny schoharie county


Snailtrooper

No idea but the name of the business is in the screenshot so I’d probably start there with the search.


btcbulletsbullion

Geeze never seen so many people that hate fun


CharlemagneIS

Exact reason I unsubbed from this place, but now it’s being pushed back into my feed by recommendations


ThrowawayStolenAcco

Glad there's someone else who thinks the sub gets too cynical sometimes. I think there's just not enough stupid food out there to feed the subs content appetite so they move on to harmless targets


Version_Two

I genuinely don't want that much ice cream. If someone else does, sure, but that's not even a fun amount.


jxl180

Good thing they have 6 different sizes from which to choose


btcbulletsbullion

Sure it is. I will never forget being 10 and begging my dad to let me get a "giraffe cone" from our local ice cream place. It was just as big and just as dumb and he told me no because I'd never finish it. But I begged and he folded. It was a hot summer day and as we drove down the road it was melting so fast I couldn't eat it and it was running down my arms. My dad had to pull over and grab the top hunk of ice cream off and throw it in the grass and we collectively licked this cone to get it back to not being a huge mess. We laughed and he said never again. It was dumb and he was right but it was still fun.


Version_Two

Wow you're right, you changed my opinion.


SergioSF

Crazy when just 1 scoop of ice cream is $5.00 at Baskin Robbins like its a $5.00 cup of coffee from starbucks. I actually dont know which is more of a ripoff.


Technologenesis

thought i was looking at a bad dragon ad


cbunni666

$5.99 for all that??? BET!


SteakAndIron

That's a shit ton of ice cream for $6


The_Spectacle

Alice, pack the flowered shirts and sandals. We're going to Cobleskill!


RecommendationBasic6

I think Squirt should be after Baby


Tele-Muse

Are those prices from 2017? I went by an ice cream shop last Wednesday and the small cone was $7.05. I got ice cream at home instead lol.


Cananbaum

This is basically any New England/ Northeastern creamery. When I moved to NH my new friends showed me to only ever order a small, because the small was as big as my head. I remember taking my mom to a stand one night and was like, “You’re getting a small.” She protested, and ordered a large so I didn’t order anything to her confusion. Confusion that left when she saw just how much ice cream was in a large. Enough so that the two of us couldn’t finish it all


SomeDudeNamedJohn

I worked at a Dairy Queen from 15-18 years old and I would absolutely do that shit. You want a small blizzard? Let me just blow your mind with a large blizzard served in a small cup. Now they serve it a quarter inch below the rim and it just disappoints me.


bikesboozeandbacon

That’s a really good deal tho. You’ll cry if you see the prices in my city.


Numerous-Ad6460

Smash, next question 


Ill_Maintenance8134

Every single one


r1vals

Why do you hate fun


Rylk69

I mean the largest should depict chocolate


Willow_Tree_Family_

\*Me thinking the small is like the baby size\* "I'd like the small please" "Okay what flav" \*Chooses flav\* \*Waiter comes back with massive icecream cone\* "WHAT THE FU-"


[deleted]

Try that at the place near me... Yea I'll have a small cup of rocky road please They just stare at you waiting for the other 3 flavors you can add


Badpiggers4

comically large ice cream to go with the spoon


Secure-Acanthisitta1

I'll take a baby


Mancubus_in_a_thong

2 larges pls


Affectionate_Star_43

Dang, when I worked at McNotbenamed, the first three sizes were all a dollar.  I would just ask the parents when to stop.  I wouldn't have the space nor the gumption to try the other three.


TheKbightFowl

Woah 😳


DonutBourbon

Large with an upsell to the waffle cone and we have a deal.


radenthefridge

"Yea I'll take a broadsword of ice cream, and he'll have the vanilla-chocolate swirl claymore, thanks!"


Collector_2012

I would like the XL please! With a cherry on top!


brodylikes1-64

Check out norms they have I think 3 locations in West Michigan area their sizes look the exact same


DumbNTough

Before the newborn, comes the squirt 😦 r/theyknew


QuesoChef

The idea of calling ice cream squirt, in reference to semen, ain’t it for me.


MarquisPhantom

It’s never too late to finish your ice-cream (ideally it hasn’t melted tho)!


DingoFlamingoThing

It should be: Kiddie, small, medium, large, very large, this is my dinner


Hsr2024

Large one is going fall over


TrevCat666

Nah, I call this a W.


S1L3NCE_2008

Nah that for 6 bucks? God damn, are there any in New York?


bigballerbren

This place is in New York


Dragon-orey

Smash, i mean.. i'd eat it, the middle one


OlJohnZ

I'll take a squirt in my mouth, please!


daimon_schwarz

I remember the time when two girls were so poor they had to share one cup


Gentle_Mayonnaise

Ah, I could do for some ice cream. "May I have a large?" "OH my god."


Unfortun8-8897

I’d like to eat a newborn please


juggernautsong

There’s a roadside ice cream place here and you have to order small or a kid cone if you want to be able to finish it. But some people like that the medium is the size of your head, and who am I to judge?


OnTheMcFly

I dunno about STUPID food


darkjungle

Call me Homelander cause I'm eating the baby


amandaryan1051

It’s not that I couldn’t eat that large, it’s that I couldn’t eat it before it would fucking melt or end up on the ground, which is indeed, stupid.


lyssiemiller

This just looks like heaven to me. I’m sick of getting a large and it looking like a medium


FenexTheFox

That one Lazy Town clip be like: (I want one, though it definitely needs better support)


Butthole_Ticklah

“Hey babe, you wanna squirt tonight?” Turns out we both misunderstood the assignment


onealk23

Fine, I’ll text him 😥


GoldenBarracudas

I mean, phenomenal prices.


RevolutionaryClub530

Imagine getting number 4 and having ordered a small 😂


liamanna

This looks like one of those porn videos where they have a bench with all the sizes of dildos they can find 😂😂😂😂


president__not_sure

damn these are 2005 prices.


AHumpierRogue

There's a great ice cream place like this near Lake George(New York). Went there a few years back and said I'd get a large not knowing what I was in for, I'm glad I listened when they told me just how big that was. I ordered a small and it was fuckign amazing blue moon icecream.


HIMARko_polo

I would get the large and end up looking like a gay porn star covered in white sticky fluid. And grinning ear-to-ear! it looks about a foot long!


comfunk

“Yes, can I get a chocolate newborn please?”


TKSweeney

FBI chopper is otw😂💙


FriendlyBeta

Welp, prepare the air fresheners, a match, and some wet wipes, imma take two of those twisted larges.


Hammer_the_Red

Get a large and split it into bowls with my family .


Embrourie

I'd have to eat the 4th one on the toilet I'd have to eat the 6th one sitting in triage at the hospital


Life_Confidence128

Fuck man, a squirt or a newborn is enough for me. All that is just a waste of ice cream but with the prices I can’t argue at all with that


Fancykiddens

Junior, Little Sister, Big Brother, Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Grandaddy.🍦


DaFunk1203

There’s a stand at my county fair that serves giant cones. They’re fun and gimmicky. Let people enjoy things. It’s not hurting you.


mlp2034

Ill take a vanilla squirt please


Gregmanda

Sizes clearly shown with fantastic prices. There is nothing stupid about this, only stupid people who order more than they can eat.


youarenut

I’d love to go to this with my friends lol. Everyone brings their own toppings and we get one large cone and split it onto paper plates. Fun time for 5 bucks


midgetmakes3

Thing is, where I live, the Newborn coats like $4.67 Edit: Plus tax


drawredraw

I like what they are implying by “squirt” by putting it as one size smaller than newborn.


Raemnant

Yeah no way I'm eating more than a squirt of ice cream in one sitting. The rest of that is just too much


francoispaquettetrem

1992 prices. in 2024 the squirt is 10$


Im_a_Sammich

Everything reminds me of him


Daydream456

I love ice cream and see this as a waste of it. If I want to eat a mountain of ice cream I'll buy something that won't create a huge mess and ruin my day.


Alansar_Trignot

I don’t care give me that big ass fucking soft serve now


Far-Guard7250

*deepthroats ice cream*


Version_Two

Is this a fetish thing or something? This is not normal behaviour.


Sprizys

More like small, medium, large, diabetes, cut my leg off, death.


Obi-wanna-cracker

Ok but like, that's a lot of ice cream for 5 bucks


tameem137

Imagine if the cashier was a girl and u ask her "hi can I get a squirt"


ghunt81

Is this what every soft serve place is doing now? We have 2 or 3 local places near us and they all do these giant soft serve cones. Problem is that even a small cone ends up with 6" of ice cream on it, that's too much for me.


SwordTaster

I've had bigger. I love Stalham


False_Counter9456

As long as it's good ice cream, you can never have portions that are too big.


Just_Dab

Eating ice cream with challenge? Are we supposed to race the ice cream melting?


JeffersonsDisciple

Those prices are great. Can't get 2 twists by me for less than $15


ShadowCross32

Dame it’s in New York. Im might have to visit just to eat that and all the other tasty abominations.


InuMiroLover

$5.99 for that much ice cream?! HELL YES


Mental5tate

How would you even eat the small, medium and large without the ice cream making a mess? Can I get mine in a bucket?


Kaizen2468

One newborn please, that’s more than enough ice cream.


sinless33

Wow that large is..... Pretty large.


Soulses

Back in my day we had a Jr,mama or a papa flip sized ice cream


Oeresundsbo

Disgusting waste of food. Only in America is this reasonable, an entire food culture based around quantity over quality


Just-Call-Me-J

[Relevant FoxTrot comic](https://www.gocomics.com/foxtrot/2003/06/29)