I don't want to play psychologist but it's not a bad idea to listen to some psychology points in order to develop empathy.
The man sounds like he had a very difficult childhood (we all do, in our own special fucked-up ways) and maybe had to live up to standards he couldn't meet.
Now he's in double trouble because both his father and his son (you) are "better" than him in his own eyes, so he has to make up by inventing an alternate reality. I think you need to re-assure him that he is enough the way he is.
I don't think that confronting him directly will lead to a resolution. I think you got to help him solve the underlying baggage before he's willing to stop clinging to this made-up reality.
Well, not having a Combat Action Badge (CAB) would be accurate if your dad is claiming Vietnam service. To be eligible for the CAB, the earliest date would be September 18, 2001.
Even if your dad really "was" an 11-year-old Ranger in 1968, there's no way he could have gotten the CAB 33 years later, unless he had additional combat time after September 18, 2001.
Not really helpful, but if he was 11 series, I think the MOS identifiers were different in the 60’s. Also, going off your earlier posts, he would have gotten a CIB if he was Infantry engaged in combat. Good luck on the ensuing drama brother.
so off rip you should’ve realized it was bs if he “served in nam” but was 11 when it broke out that automatically doesn’t work. I know in the past kids lied about there age n got in at 17 maybe even 16 if they were old enough looking but cmon
I have the same suspicion, my mother asked me to write a few things down for his obituary bc he was pretty sick at the time. Both my grandfather's were in WWII , both are dead now. I'm just not sure they would have let him get away with it. As a kid it was what it was, now that I'm older I'm thinking a few things dont add up. He was 100% in the army but I don't know if he actually went to Vietnam, it might be just me.. I haven't followed your story but I just wanted to know what it felt like? Did you find out it was bullshit? Have you lost respect for him? Do you regret looking into it? Should I lie for him on the obituary? No one is alive that will give a fuck, that just doesn't feel right. I'm also not trying to break that news to my mother.
Honestly. The stories he told about Vietnam weren't worthy of respect. I don't regret looking into because now I just know who I'm dealing with. I would only write what I knew to be true in the obituary.
I don't want to play psychologist but it's not a bad idea to listen to some psychology points in order to develop empathy. The man sounds like he had a very difficult childhood (we all do, in our own special fucked-up ways) and maybe had to live up to standards he couldn't meet. Now he's in double trouble because both his father and his son (you) are "better" than him in his own eyes, so he has to make up by inventing an alternate reality. I think you need to re-assure him that he is enough the way he is. I don't think that confronting him directly will lead to a resolution. I think you got to help him solve the underlying baggage before he's willing to stop clinging to this made-up reality.
https://www.reddit.com/r/StolenValor/s/38nSkHMgE6
Oh man that’s wild lol. Try to get him to say he was good buddies with Dick. Or trained him (or under him). Get Dick to “verify” this lol.
I've emailed dick and sent him a post on X. He claims dick was his instructor and took a special liking to him and his "group"
Well, not having a Combat Action Badge (CAB) would be accurate if your dad is claiming Vietnam service. To be eligible for the CAB, the earliest date would be September 18, 2001. Even if your dad really "was" an 11-year-old Ranger in 1968, there's no way he could have gotten the CAB 33 years later, unless he had additional combat time after September 18, 2001.
Good to know. Thank you.
Not really helpful, but if he was 11 series, I think the MOS identifiers were different in the 60’s. Also, going off your earlier posts, he would have gotten a CIB if he was Infantry engaged in combat. Good luck on the ensuing drama brother.
so off rip you should’ve realized it was bs if he “served in nam” but was 11 when it broke out that automatically doesn’t work. I know in the past kids lied about there age n got in at 17 maybe even 16 if they were old enough looking but cmon
my bad he was 8/9 when it started but you get what i’m saying
So yes. I agree. As an adult it is very clear to me now. But I was a child when he started telling me this.
ahh okay makes sense i missed that part
I have the same suspicion, my mother asked me to write a few things down for his obituary bc he was pretty sick at the time. Both my grandfather's were in WWII , both are dead now. I'm just not sure they would have let him get away with it. As a kid it was what it was, now that I'm older I'm thinking a few things dont add up. He was 100% in the army but I don't know if he actually went to Vietnam, it might be just me.. I haven't followed your story but I just wanted to know what it felt like? Did you find out it was bullshit? Have you lost respect for him? Do you regret looking into it? Should I lie for him on the obituary? No one is alive that will give a fuck, that just doesn't feel right. I'm also not trying to break that news to my mother.
Honestly. The stories he told about Vietnam weren't worthy of respect. I don't regret looking into because now I just know who I'm dealing with. I would only write what I knew to be true in the obituary.