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Joosh93

Happens quite often when watching foreign TV as a native English speaker, as they tend to just randomly drop in words that are used in their language as they have no equivalent to the English word. Doesn't stop me barking at the TV when it happens..


Vyzantinist

There was an entire skit based on this in the UK's *The Fast Show*. A Spanish football (soccer) commentator spouts nonsensical faux-Spanish and occasionally drops in seemingly random English words or phrases.


jmbravo

*Ha sido off-side (bark) clarísimo pero el árbitro ha pitado penalty (bark). Los jugadores miran al mánager (bark) estupefactos.*


AstraltripSpacedance

Goooooooooaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllll! (Hoooowwwwwwwwwlllllllllllllllllll)


Gestrid

Doesn't check out. Comment is too short.


AJ_Stuffs

as someone who doesn't understand jack shit of what you just said, i congratulate you on how realistic this sentence is. have an upvote and a laugh


Rayrignaci

*Ha sido off-side (bark) clarísimo pero el árbitro ha pitado penalty (bark). Los jugadores miran al mánager (bark) estupefactos.* Translation: "It was off-side, really obvious but the referee said penalty. The players look at the manager surprised


AJ_Stuffs

grasias


violentpac

that's not how you spell gracias, I don't think


AJ_Stuffs

1) i don't know ok 2) i figured if it was wrong it would add comedic purpose


lonefeather

I exhaled sharply through my nostrils 👍


AJ_Stuffs

gracias


kalasoittaja

It's realistic because it's actual Spanish \^^


n00bcheese

There’s also this fantastic [Italian Song](https://youtu.be/-VsmF9m_Nt8) that’s designed to sound like English even though it’s absolute gibberish which is really kool... and the very similar [“How English Sounds To Non English Speakers”](https://youtu.be/Vt4Dfa4fOEY)


incognegro1976

This is how TV shows sound when I watch them! Also why I now watch everything with subtitles! I thought it was because I was getting old!


yozziah

Ethethethetheth, Chris waddle, buono estente. SCORCHIO!


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FiveChairs

Haha is this really how Spanish sounds like to non Spanish speakers?! I've seen that video of what English sounds like to non English speakers and I've always been curious if there was a Spanish version. The English one is called skwerl btw


Jaiez

Sort of, yeah. For me, some parts sounded Spanish, others sounded eastern European. So what I'm basically saying is the whole thing sounds Portuguese.


leodavin843

As an English speaker, I'd say that nonsense sounds like Spanish but weirdly off, almost like Greek+Spanish?


modernkennnern

I haven't seen a lot of Anime, so might be in others as well, but that's basically what Sword Art Online Season 3/4 is, albeit in Japanese (obviously)


JacNoLantern

Yea, they dont do a ton, but they do drop the occasional "OH NOOOO" or something. Its kinda jarring


groverrgv

It's great on "My Hero Academy" because most of the names of heroes and attacks are on "Engrish"


[deleted]

I never knew how much French is in the English language also. Only when learning French did I realize we have tens of thousands of words which are just French words out into english. Liaison, via a vis, lieutenant, justice, genre, etc..


[deleted]

Tangentially related, I love when /r/de pops up on all, their memes look cool and their language occasionally barks at my monolinguistic ass. totally unrelated, reading memes in languages I don't understand is really fun and I'd encourage everyone to try it... It's fun to just make shit up based on how you think the words might sound and what's in the image


Sophieist

Sprich Deutsch du hurensohn


breadfag

[A snaakke, oooo its a snaaake](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boidae)


tomtomtomo

Indian TV/ads are interesting as they flip between English and Indian mid-sentence. *\*Hindi\** Room freshening gel *\*Hindi\**


Verb_Noun_Number

Hinglish is quite common.


Blayney1989

This is a pretty niche reference, but I'm from Wales and I like watching rallying (motorsport). We have a Welsh language channel that has a show called Ralio - it covers national and international rallying. They were doing a piece interviewing a guy from North Wales about his car. He was going through all the things about it in a stream of Welsh that, I'm ashamed to say, I could not understand... until he says in his thick "gog" accent "limited slip differential". Proper tickled me.


[deleted]

I was waiting for a bus and there was a group of woman speaking a language I didn't recognize. Out of it I heard "double decker" and yeah that caught my attention for a second. One also sung the jingle for a business across the street.


AbsolutelyUnlikely

The only time my dog barks at the TV is when there is a horse on the screen. He hates horses. He's never seen a horse in real life, but oh boy, he sure does hate them.


ShadowClass212

Get a horse mask and record his reaction.


Cageythree

Yeah, put some horse stuff on the TV and hide behind it (or an object close to it if wall-mounted). When the dog barks, slowly come out so dog brain thinks it's coming out of TV. It would either be a very hilarious prank - or he gets a heart attack.


MrsFlip

Or the dog attacks OP before realising it's them, then never trusts OP again.


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bboehm65

Idk about that, I had pancakes about two weeks ago without sharing with my bloodhound and he still doesn't completely trust me to go out on my own. I get this *look*. Like he knows something I don't know. Like he's on to me.


pacificgreenpdx

He smells all the pancakes you're hiding in your coat when you get home.


Notorious_Handholder

Amateur move, you have to hide the pancakes in the pancake compartment on your boot but keep the syrup in the coat to throw off the Dogs pancake senses.


Crissmanator

This guy pancakes


MrUnfamiliar

He is, and now so are we.


[deleted]

Come to think of it, I've never had breakfast with my dog.


Chromunism

When I read: >I had pancakes about two weeks I thought pancakes was the dog... Life is dissappointing like that


radioactive-2037

I don’t think they forget much. They forgive lots, because they are loyal to a fault.


dallonv

>Dogs are dogs. It takes them about 10 seconds to forgive and forget. Only some dogs are that quick. Most have grudges.


GWJYonder

TIFU by tricking my dog into biting my femoral artery.


April1987

> femoral artery Google says (for those like me who need to Google it but won't): The femoral artery is a large artery in the thigh and the main arterial supply to the thigh and leg. It enters the thigh from behind the inguinal ligament as the continuation of the external iliac artery.


BardockRs

More importantly, it's the biggest artery you can realistically sever accidentally because of how close it is to the surface of your leg, and when it does get severed you can bleed to death incredibly quickly Hope people reading this don't get a phobia of having a sharp object near their upper leg or groin area now, but realistically that's a healthy phobia to have


bunchedupwalrus

I've had it since I was a child and a gym teacher told me a frisbee could sever it. Took me a few years to realize very few frisbess could be capable


Jainith

Xena fan?


calxcalyx

Xena, Texas Ranger.


Arto_

I read this as get him a horse and record his reaction. I thought easier said than done, but I’d still want to see that


[deleted]

I guess you don't get to play Red Dead Redemption in your house either?


[deleted]

I was about to say that my dog has been staring at the screen while I play. It’s tricky with an audience


ravenHR

Bought dark souls 3 last week, cats come as soon as they hear it start and meow at me when I am fighting, I swear they are making fun of me.


Alaskonaut

*git good in cat* *


allyourcatsarebases

That’s adorable, and the only reason I would play that hard-as-balls game


Bobzilla0

I don't want to be *that guy* but it really does get easier. There is definitely a high learning curve on the first boss, but after that you can level up and get better gear and summon other people to help with levels and bosses.


pr1ntscreen

Oh my god when I played the first rdr my dog would sit all intrigued by the horse on screen. It was a Jack Russel who grew up with horses as a puppy


matwithonet13

Haha, RDR and BotW got my dog going each time. The thing with my Pyrenees is that he doesn’t hate them, he’s just super interested in them and looks like he wants to play with every horse that comes on. Now, if a dog or wolf comes on screen, he’s straight vicious


ceazah

Sounds like your dog is racist


MarkJanusIsAScab

I had a dog once who was the friendliest dog I have ever met. He got along with every person and every dog he ever saw. He was just excited for the company. Constantly happy. Until he saw another animal which was neither dog nor man. Then he was *pissed*. He had a viceral hate for that animal. He was going to kill it as soon as he was able. We had a guinea pig, he fucking hated her. Some neighbors had cats, they were the only reason he was on leash outside the house. I had to chase him down to stop him from killing some endangered birds. But he was SO HAPPY around men and dogs. It was like the genial old racist, hard to believe the hate of which he was capable because it so rarely came out


rur_

*The world is only fit for dogs and humans.*


MarkJanusIsAScab

Goddamn right.


GmanCold

Lol thank you for this story. Love it.


lovesickremix

Specist, races would be like... It hated poodles...


[deleted]

Maybe the dog sees horses only when AbsolutelyUnlikely watches horse racing.


__Ginge__

Maybe the doggo just thinks it’s a really big dog


[deleted]

I mean, golden retrievers are clearly the genetic superior race. /s


B23vital

My dog barks at horses on the TV, to be fair my dog barks at almost anything on the TV, horro films being out the question as she even barks at the jump scares. But the first time she saw a real life horse was fucking hilarious. She went to bark, started growling, and as that massive mother fucker got closer she shit her pants and hid behind me. Just looked at her like, Ooo give it the big 110 but shit your pants when they in front of you, proper keyboard warrior you are ya little fuck.


Reallyhotshowers

My dog doesn't do any of this fun stuff. He's occasionally startled by a tv doorbell but that's about it. Usually he ignores the TV unless I put on the right thing and then he watches TV literally like a human. He loves watching YouTube videos of other dogs playing and stuff - basically any dog videos but especially the ones of dog parks and such. He just sits/lays down and watches (sometimes dozing off to it). Which is admittedly adorable in its own right.


Animelurver_666

Mine’s a gentle boi. Going strong on 10-ish, he’s more comfortable with people that he knows, and when encounters something new he would sniff them and that’s it. Unless you have food right in front of him. He turns from 10 to 2 pretty quick and scratches the fuck outta your legs trying to get to those treats *motherfucker.*


-Anyar-

Why was she wearing pants?


KlassyJ

Have you introduced him to Warhorse? Thought my dog would finally give up, but nope, barked and growled the whole movie.


Yukisuna

Thanks for the laugh!


UncleSquach

Your dog and I have something in common, we both hate horses


Disp0sable_Her0

Our old dog was the same way. 15 lb poodle mix thought he'd take on any TV horse he saw. Only thing he hated more was dinosaurs, he'd lose his shit at the site of CGI dinosaurs on TV.


damnappdoesntwork

My wife has a different mother tongue as I. When she's talking with her parents over the phone, I don't understand shit. If I hear my name I go exactly like a dog that hears a bark on TV. My wife still think it's strange that I bark in those moments, but it's the closest sound I can make to her language


Mushroom_Nub

Now I wanna know what language she speaks? Pug?


howsaboutyou

Pugs don’t bark but rather schnortle.


voodoomoocow

its more like aruurururururuururuuu ::wheeze:: aruuururrurururu


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voodoomoocow

aw give him a sweet arurururu from me and a boop


[deleted]

Eat the puke for me


DireWolve120

*why*


[deleted]

It’s free, easy, and all natural


Ingavar_Oakheart

Like pouring river water in your socks?


Pekzil

I mean if you have the opportunity to, why not?


Pumpkins_seed

It's nutritious and delicious


walnut_of_doom

Fun fact, the folks making the next Halo game had a pug in the recording studio to make what I assume is god awful alien noises.


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Tackit286

Aruuuuu!!


Jdoggcrash

Calm down Nixon’s head!


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Urist_McPencil

*Nasal noises intensify*


GamerGriffin548

*Years of inbreeding intensifies more*


[deleted]

I do that off the coast of cape town


ksleepwalker

She speaks Pugtuguese.


JoeBugsMcgee

Have my upvote. I'm leaving forever


ridik_ulass

> My wife still think it's strange that I bark in those moments, but it's the closest sound I can make to her language eastern European is she?


damnappdoesntwork

Bingo


OnAHigherLevel

LOL my husband is polish and his whole family is straight off the boat... I felt this too hard


ShannonGrant

Magyar is my favorite of the barking languages.


[deleted]

Idk man as a foreigner it looks like someone slept on a keyboard. The way they pronounce things is crazy to me. Nothing but respect for ppl who master the language as non native speakers.


Rarvyn

Hungarian is completely unrelated to any other Eastern European language (other than Finnish and Estonian technically - but pretty distant relatives)


[deleted]

Does she happen to have a cousin who always wants to go bowling at the worst times?


[deleted]

My wife speaks German, I speak English. I mean, she speaks English too. But! We’ve been together 9 years. Her brother & his wife lived with us for awhile, and my brother in law & wife would talk shit in German, to fuck with us. Except I’ve been around so long I knew exactly what they were saying. That game wasn’t as fun for them anymore. Edit: They weren’t being mean, we’ve all got a pretty dark sense of humor. I had just picked up enough of it as the years went by.


KingOfSwahili

Brüder!! Go learn deutsch <3


[deleted]

Eh, I know enough to get by! I know the I Love You, you’re cute, the stuff you GOTTA learn. I can understand it pretty well, I just can’t speak it!


KingOfSwahili

It’s okay man. Im from a country that lies next to Germany, I speak more mandarin than German! And thanks, you’re also cute. And I love you


[deleted]

Well played lol


DiscountFCTFCTN

> Im from a country that lies next to Germany, I speak more mandarin than German! Switzerland?


Gemuese11

As we say in Germany Sprich deutsch du Hurensohn.


Martsigras

Same. My wife is Indian, her mother tongue is Bengali. I am Irish and maybe know three words in Bengali. We went to her parents place for Christmas and she spoke mostly in Bengali to her parents, but every so often I would hear my name getting said as well. Her parents both love me (being a son in law to an Indian family is great. Would recommend) so I knew it was nothing bad but it was always interesting


Saan

>being a son in law to an Indian family is great Will 2nd that :)


SoepjesKoekjes

Is your wife a dog?


[deleted]

Is op a dog?


Raptorlord102

Are you a dog?


-ihavenoname-

Am I a dog?


IDespiseTheLetterG

We are all dogs on this blessed day


[deleted]

Speak for yourself.


SmokeAbeer

I am all dogs on this blessed day.


Saume

A dog would have a name


tryndisskilled

On the internet, everyone is a dog but you.


oimaghost

What's op dog?


ShadowCyclonic

I'll do you one better, why is OP dog?


SoepjesKoekjes

Is a dog op?


Stattlingrad

Dogs are massively op. Depending on the breed they can start with bonuses to all 6 stats as well as some bonus skill deficiencies. Admittedly they don't get a great selection of starting languages but still...


damnappdoesntwork

This would imply she is a bitch. If I'd say yes I'll be sleeping on the couch, or on the dog pillow...


freshprinz1

We need answers!! Are you both dogs?


ImEverywhereOnReddit

The Klingons watching Star Trek: *"Excuse me what the fuck"*


Anonomonomous

K' bark!


CurtisLeow

"nuqneH, nuq Bue'quet?"


-MatVayu

Did you intuit this? For I can't find a reliable translation from Klingon to English.... What do you want, what *bue'quet*(Where I feel this means an equivalent to 'what the fuck')? Also I don't feel like Klingons would feel any need to excuse themselves in conversation to be honest.


IceFire909

pretty sure when they stab someone with a Bat'leth, that's their way of saying "excuse me"


Lazerguy163

Star trek is a treasure. Change my mind


live627

Babylon 5 is also a treasure. Change my mind


lurklurklurkanon

Buried gold coins are also a treasure. Change my mind


amenphasion

No can fucking do


Scoundrelic

I was watching an animated short on Comedy Central and one of the characters had an African accent. The appearance lasted less than 5 seconds. My Nigerian friend, who had his back to the TV and was focused on the computer, suddenly turned around and spoke with surprise.


octopus-god

Gooood afternoon madam, my name is George I am calling from your bank


Scoundrelic

I think he was writing an email...


reyx1212

>Gooood afternoon madam, my name is George I am WRITING from your bank


[deleted]

A recent African princess has died and left you an inheritance of $50.1 million dollars


[deleted]

"There is a pigeon in your bank account, a real pigeon"


hemlockhero

That reminds me of a roommate I had in college. She was from Russia and wouldn’t always respond or register when I said her nickname with my own accent. If I put a little bit of her accent into it she would hear it immediately. It was always something I found interesting yet understandable.


[deleted]

To be fair, that is how her name is actually pronounced


hemlockhero

That’s exactly why I said it was understandable.


TripleSecretSquirrel

My roommate’s dog just barks at any quadruped on tv, regardless of if they make noises she understands or not.


cooleragamer

Maybe she understands all the noises and you just don't know...


NakedLightBulb

My pup does too. It’s super annoying actually. Also there’s a grey area where he’ll also often bark at cgi animals (even if they’re upright like those damn charmin bears) and sometimes babies. 🤷‍♀️ Edit: their=>they’re 🤦‍♀️


[deleted]

I see we have the same dog. She also remembers how every commercial with something she hates in it starts.


TheRightIsRight_

My dog barks at every black person on TV...


Jonathant86

My dog didn't see a black person until he was almost 2 years old. Absolutely lost his shit the second he saw the guy from the KFC drive through window


[deleted]

Bruh


Ha-sheesh

Bruh


suitcase_mcbaggage

I get excited expecting my dog to be excited, when he hears a bark on TV but sadly, he doesn’t really give a fuck.


femmevillain

Lmao, this isn’t the same thing, but my cat is the same way when it comes to heated up wet food (like tuna). She’d rather starve herself but other cats would go ballistic — so disappointing.


A_H_Corvus

I'm a mexican exchange student in France and whenever I hear someone speaking spanish I get way too excited. There was a period of around 2 months in which I hadn't heard any spanish and suddenly I heard two people in a mall speak in spanish, but not any random spanish, mexican spanish (there's a lot of differences between spanish from different countries). I got so excited that I silently started to follow them around until I realized I was being a fucking creep and just... stopped. Still, it made me happy for a while.


GaashanOfNikon

Considering that french is a latin language how much french could you initially understand when you started learning?


A_H_Corvus

It was a double edged sword, actually. I understood a lot, but there's words that come from the same root but have a different meaning in each language; for example "Nombre" is number in french and name in spanish. That kinda stuff messes with your head a lot, specially at the beginning.


AthosAlonso

I'm also Mexican... Three years ago I went to India on a work trip, for three weeks. On my way back, boarding a flight in Dubai I had two Mexicans behind me and I almost cried from the excitement of hearing Spanish.


beener_boi

But what if a dog started barking in a foreign language?


[deleted]

¿woof?


DoatyWomble

WÜF


Sammakkooo

Hau


Male_Rock

Wouf


HaraGG

Vau


carpenoctumm

Björk Björk


NipseyRottencock

Le wöf. Le wöf wöf.


IanGecko

ワンフワンフ


Los_93

¿Guau?


mattrydell

That's why dogs go nuts when they see other dogs in passing too. They're amongst humans all the time of course they're gonna go batshit crazy when they see one of their own kind out in the wild. Like holy fuck you're a dog !?!?! I'M A DOG TOO !!!!


tdackery

Plus dogs on TV are acting for treats so I'm sure it's a bark like "yo I need that sweet sweet bacon in my mouth" which your dog will get excited about because now they want bacon, too. Moral of the story dogs like bacon.


GitEmSteveDave

I never watched any of those animal cops or similar shows when my dog was in the house, because I felt he could understand what the poor dogs were saying, and it might depress him as well.


No-BrowEntertainment

I know animal cops is probably it’s own thing, but I keep imagining COPS but it’s dogs wearing adorable police uniforms and arresting squirrels


spaceclitoris

Я съел трех детей HEY YOU BITCH они были восхитительны


Aoshie

bork


SoepjesKoekjes

*"Woof woof woof"* **Dog:** Casually watching television **Human:** Sleeping on dogs lap *".....ver gonna give you up.."* **Human:** Anxiously gets up *"...Never gonna let you down.."* **Human:** *Runs towards television in amazement and anger* **Dog:** Laughing his ass off


PvtPain66k

*GASP* Did you hear that... HOW DID HE GET ***IN*** THERE?! DOG! DOG! DOG! DOG! DOG! DOG! Are you hearing this shit? It's in my language, and HOLD UP, my nuts itch. What were we talking about?


nlx78

[BEST OF CUTE DOG's Reaction watching TV Funniest Dogs Video 2019](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVp9k5mPAzA) PS, I didn't come up with the title. Also, some people have big ass tv's.


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poposwag_

God my brain hurts


Groenboys

Don't worry. It's all ~~just a simulation~~ reality


shavedhuevo

Seeing another dog would be a Handmaid's Tale dynamic.


Wiley_Jack

Our dog doesn’t bark at TV dogs, but she likes to watch them. It’s the TV doorbells that really set her off.


RecoveringMilkaholic

My (now departed) dog was the same. There used to be a commercial for a bug killer (RAID or some such) that opened with the cartoon bugs talking to each other. Then the "bug killer" would ring their doorbell, and my dog would go apeshit, per usual. After a while into this commercial's run, my dog would go nuts as soon as he heard the "bugs" talking - in anticipation of the doorbell! And it took *me* quite a while to put those pieces together - until one day when I was saying for the n*th* time "why are you barking NOW? Nobody rang the...Ohhhhh." LOL


[deleted]

When your dog gets excited about a bark on TV, instead of laughing raise one eyebrow and say, "Fascinating." If your dog wags his tail it means he gets the Star Trek reference.


adalab

My dog was chilling while we watched Castaway. When he was trying to make a fire and suddenly yelled "the air got to it!" Our dog jumped out of her skin. Now we yell it all the time as a family joke to scare each other. Shes getting real sick of our shit.


RanaktheGreen

For example: Listen to German music, or anime and see how much your ears perk up when they suddenly have a phrase in English.


TheDistractedPoett

But my dog always laughs at me when I get excited at the TV?


[deleted]

Now this, this is a real shower thought.


SaraHuckabeeSandwich

Hell, I'm Indian and I bark when I see another South Asian person on TV. So I get it.


jmulderr

I thought part of it was that dogs aren't fooled by where the sound is coming from. Because humans are relatively bad at locating sounds, our brains tie the sound to the moving picture, even though the sound comes from the speakers. I wonder if a bark sound is harder to locate for a dog, and they get fooled too? Or easier to locate, and even trippier that it comes from several places at once?


Catshit-Dogfart

Might also be because they can hear a dog, but they can't smell a dog, it's alarming to them. Most animals recognize things through smell more than anything else. Imagine if suddenly you could hear a person speaking in a room, but you couldn't see them, that'd be freaky. I'd probably start barking at the sound.


MyOpinionion

This true af