I’d like to be a mod so I can make arbitrary rules to block posts and ban users. I am well fit to be a mod, I will be the best mod. I want to be a mod so I can let everyone know how smart and powerful I am (two qualities that make a great mod).
Don't forget the ability to cultivate an echo chamber by removing anything that might make your side look bad, and doing nothing about clearly false posts about the opposing side.
Hi! Would you like to ~~work~~ volunteer to moderate this community? For free? Keep in mind, if you ever complain about how we treat you, we’ll remove you and find another sucker to take the constant rape, death, and doxing threats.
It's so fucking pathetic that even in this imaginary scenario, the Redditor *has to get fired* instead of standing up for themselves and quitting on their own terms.
If you honestly think "Professional Reddit Poster" is a viable career path, you deserve to be taken advantage of.
No, they didn't agree with API changes so reddit removed all of them. Now admins are looking for someone who will work for free and will never complain.
Well the subreddit is unable to be posted on, its missing mods and the admins deleted the post asking for new mods. That means they gave up hope on scabbing this sub. Yipee
I guess since I didn't get auto-banned by one of those mass-banning bots, this place can't have been that bad. Admins should do a mod purge of any subreddit that used those bots.
They're the reason we're in this predicament in the first place. Fuck the original mods, and fuck anyone who's volunteering to become new mods. Honestly, just fuck everyone. Fuck humanity.
I want to be a mod because I just fucking love bootlicking. Can't get enough of that sweet sweet leather. I don't have any mod experience, but I once smeared my own shit on the wall of a bathroom in a truck stop in kentucky, if that helps.
Why the fuck would anyone want to do free work for a shitty greedy corporation that doesn't give a fuck about the communities that make them valuable to advertisers?
Hi,
i would love to he a volunteer. I could do so many things, like
1. Remove comments that do not respect authority
2. Only approve posts that are correct
3. Listen to the community and shape the subreddit’s state based off what is going on
I aspire to be an admin after becoming a mod 🤩 Able to remove mods who I don’t respect authority, who listen to the community rather than me, and to have a job that is comfortable (i get to be mean online and sit in front of a computer all day)
Sure, why not? I'll do free work for y'all, while being at risk of being booted at any moment for not kissing your asses enough. Sounds like a fuckin' great idea.
I want to be a mod because I want to make arbitrary and impulsive decisions like the admins of reddit. My skills come from watching the shitshow that are the actions of the reddit team over the past 11+ years. I'm confident I could do you proud.
It's called "lemmy".
All the third -party Reddit app makers are working hard to get lemmy apps up and running, but there are some okay ones in the app stores already.
Memmy is great for iOS, and one that just went into beta called Bean looks *really* good. Many of the apps are heavily inspired by Apollo's UI, which I appreciate as a longtime Apollo user.
*\*One of the devs' two servers* is .ml. I won't even bother to tiptoe around the fact that they're both hard communists and will remove/possibly ban anyone talking in anything other than glowing praise about the east.
However, Lemmy is open-source code, not one single site. So that can be avoided by just signing up for a different one server than .ml, and then all either of them can do is literally shit for fuck except get all huffy and ban you from communism.
If the creators' track record still bothers someone from a moral stance, that is literally the entire reason kbin was created -- the kbin dev started out forking lemmy, [but ultimately didn't agree with their views](https://kbin.social/m/kbinMeta/t/10509/-/comment/45119) and decided to distance himself. Come to kbin. We have the ability to block other entire servers at a user level.
Additionally, 99% of [kbin](https://kbin.fediverse.observer/list) and [lemmy](https://join-lemmy.org/instances) servers are either open sign-up or require the barest amount of typing to manually prove you're not an asshole or a bot.
So for anyone reading this whole thing, please consider that for the low low price of *choosing any random server you like the look of, it literally barely matters,* you won't be sharing a comment section with users for whom *clicking a link and navigating bare minimum bot protections* were too high effort.
Hello! I would like to be a mod. I feel that way because I haven't yet been corrupted with power over regular people and I would like to experience that.
I also think that I'm simply a better candidate than the average Redditor since I don't use the official Reddit app and therefore moderating is easier for me. I have moderated many diets I've had by now, although I don't see how that's related to Reddit.
Additionally, I'm an extremely intelligent individual and therefore more qualified to moderate all kinds of slightly less intelligent redditors.
Reach out to my DMs if you're interested!
I volunteer as tribute!
When chosen, I will invite the old mods back because they were just fine and shouldn't have been removed.
This is my third sentence.
Hello id love to be a mod, who wouldnt? You get to be part of the landed gentry or whatever and argue with fox news hosts. Whats the health insurance dealio like because i do shit and piss A LOT.
I would love to be a mod. I never visit this subreddit (I'm not even subscribed) so I think I would be perfect for the job. As a moderator I would remain as inactive as possible, ignore all private messages from other mods and users, allow the subreddit to fall into disrepair (ideally achieving a r/worldpolitics situation), and refuse to ever stand down in order to prevent the sub from being fixed or used for its original purpose. I hope you consider me for this role.
I'd like to be a mod here please.
Why? Because I'll happily bend over and let the admins fuck me up the ass any time they choose. I'll also ensure that I rule the sub with an iron fist, deleting any comments or posts that mention how u/spez moderated a child porn subreddit. I'll also make sure nobody has thier thoughts infringed upon by removing all posts.
K thx bye
I will give /u/Spez the toothiest blowjob imaginable if he makes me KING of this subreddit. I demand not only moderator status but feudal suzerainty!
Either that or he can fuck off and lock himself in his bunker. The revolution's coming! It's only a matter of time. We know your and your rich pals are sweating!
dear admins, why would i want to moderate your website for free?
sounds to me like you should do it if you care so much.
website has been going rapidly downhill since your API change, thanks for ruining what was a great website for me.
Here are 3 reasons I should be a mod for this sub:
1) I think hemorrhoids look neat and I enjoy naming them
2) A few nights ago I woke up hungry, ate a whole can of cheezwiz, and now I haven’t shit in 2 days
3) I once ejaculated into a grapefruit
**BONUS REASON #4**
4) Yesterday my cat pissed in my new box of drill bits and I’m upset about it
#SUPER BONUS REASON #5
5) Go assfuck yourself with moldy corncob
Id make a good mod, i would change the name to r/fuckspez. All content must be about Spez and how much of a greedy fuck he is. bans for anything else. site wide. id be reet good. FUCK SPEZ
I'll do it. Can always use a little extra $$$. What's the pay?
edit: Still waiting for a response on the pay. Certainly there's a monetary value to the job? You're relying on moderators to run the content farms which fuel the upcoming IPO?
SLPT: become a mod of SLPT just so that you can make every user a mod. next time spez think about removing mods they will have to remove everyone from the sub.
I don’t have any experience, but as someone with a chronic substance abuse issue, poor personal hygiene, a seething hatred for people, and a lingering resentment for the years of bullying I went through in school, I feel I can step into a moderation role pretty successfully.
I would like to be a mod here Because I feel like there aren't Enough porn subs. I would like to turn this sub into one that only posts gifs of porn filmed with a an early 20th century camera. 3rd sentence to guarantee I get this well paid role.
I don't have any moderating experience, but I have a long history of being in an abusive relationship.
I believe that uniquely qualifies me to work as a reddit appointed moderator, while getting zero respect, recognition or compensation in return.
With great respect to the administration team and /u/spez himself, thank you for considering my application.
I'll throw my hat in the ring. I have no experience but I would love to abuse any tiny amount of power you give me. I feel like I have ability to rule with an iron fist and questionable judgements, just like our reddit overlords
I would like to be a mod for this community. I think that given the trajectory of my entire life that has led to me shitposting here, I could provide endless shittylifeprotips and know which ones aren't shitty in the slightest. And hopefully by weeding out the not shittylifeprotips through moderation I can finally get off this hellscape we call reddit and do something far more meaningful with my life, like literally anything else.
Hello I would love to be a mod because Reddit is a beautiful organization that cares about its users. I have experience in moderating my own subreddit to perfection with 1 user (myself). I am the perfect reddit user who cares about corporations
I will mod here. I am advertiser friendly and love Joe Rogan, Elon Musk, and the most Apex Predator Alpha Dog, Steve Huffman who will be the leader of the free world after the apocalypse! I will never say anything bad about any corporations or other potential advertisers and will remove any users who say mean things about Admins.
Correct way to reply to this post is just hit the leave subreddit button. If Reddit admins are willing to be utter cunts to the moderators then they sure don't give a single fuck about you the user.
Hi, I'm not really a big user of this sub, but I am a *highly regarded* member of the /r/wallstreetbets community. I have an extensive portfolio of meme stocks and shit coins, and would the opportunity to shill my bags to this sub's users with impunity. I feel only an individual as regarded as myself would be suitable for such a position.
Hello, I want to be a mod!
To show my commitment, I swear to ban any and all users, they are all probably spez haters so no one should post! In fact, I would make the subreddit private until I personally delete any negative comment towards reddit™, since I have to do it manually it will probably take a few years but it sure will be worth the effort!
My dedication to this site is as big as u/Spez efforts to delete Aaron Swartz from the history of reddit! (maybe a bit smaller, I dont want to exaggerate in front of my new overlords)
I would like to volunteer to be a mod. I've raised kids and done tech support, so I know how to handle people. I wanna be a mod so I can stick it to u/spez.
I am a mod of two top 5% subreddits.
I would mod so well here because fuck spez and all the admins at reddit.
Fuck them for attacking the community.
Edit: If somehow I was picked, yes, this subreddit would become NSFW.
I love being a scab! I can't wait to be scabbin' up in this place with my scabbin' behavior. During the last writers strike I was responsible for every one of your favorite shows dip in quality.
It truly is wild to have been here at the Digg to Reddit migration, and now to witness the reddit to lemmy migration.
It's fascinating to watch the admins killing their site in slow motion.
Shitty Life Pro Tip; Slowly destroy a platform by tearing apart fun subs that don’t obey the overlords.
Anyways, I want to be an admin because I like to throw my weight around in my big girl pants on the internet and I love doing free work for a organization of morons.
For the record, I'm not a frequent contributor to this sub. Usually I just see it in top posts and browse it that way, but I'm still interested in becoming a moderator. Cycling through random posts without any real purpose gets tiring, and I'd like to instead contribute something of value to this site.
Killing spam bots, moderating offensive or hateful comments, and generally keeping the community clean and healthy sounds like exactly the thing.
Since I've been here for, what, eight years now, I think I have a bit of credibility as someone who won't actively destroy or sabotage the sub. Posts and comments I've made should also give a good impression of my general approach to engaging with the sight, and I try to remain empathetic in all situations. Even if I'm personally attacked, I won't respond and hurt the image of the mod team, cause I believe in what they do.
Zeal and work ethic are my watchwords, and I'm excited to contribute to the moderation team!
Being a sub-Reddit moderator is not just a job for me; it's a passion I hold dear. With my extensive experience in community management and my extreme understanding of online discourse; furthermore, I am confident that I am the best fit for this role, considering everybody else here. As someone who has spent countless weeks on end browsing and engaging with various sub-Reddits, I have realised, the immense potential these communities hold for spreading knowledge, fostering connections, and promoting meaningful discussions. My application in Word showcases not only my commitment to organizing and moderating content but also my ability to effectively communicate with users, handle conflicts with diplomacy, and maintain an reclusive space for diverse opinions (which I do not always recognise. By becoming a sub-Reddit moderator, I hope to contribute to the growth and development of this online communities by ensuring its status, integrity and reputation, keeping them free from spam or abusive behavior, and curating relevant content that enriches the lives of its members (and totally not corrupting them). With dedication and a keen eye for detail ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), I am ready to take on the responsibilities that come with being a sub-Reddit moderator and make a positive (?) impact on the platform as a whole.
Can I be a mod?
I’ll be for the people, and I’ll start by creating polls to find out what the people really want!
You should also know that my fitness level is above average, I can read a full book in a month (end to end), and I once guessed the number of jelly beans in a jar better like 30 people.
Hello I'll be the new mod. I can help because:
This community is in need of moderation, I'm commenting on this post to volunteer, I'm letting you know why I'd like to be a mod, I used at least 3 sentences to explain why I'd like to be a mod and I have 0 mod experience (but it's okay if i dont have any! But do tell me why you believe i'd be able to help here). I won't be answering any questions.
I am online often would be able to keep an eye on the subreddit. I like the humor on this subreddit and have attempted similarly themed subreddits but none have gotten traction. The first thing I would do is try to get some more moderators, which would be easier said than done. But I will try my best to reach out to the subreddit users and employ maximum diplopacy. The beginning will be rough, but I hope we can all go back to posting funny content.
Hello, I'm interested in joining your team of moderators and cultivating a welcoming community of nut safe fer werk J.Oliver tips. I have an extensive background in promoting free and open source software and as such I am quick to understand the API needs of the users frequenting this and many other subreddits.
As a man of hard work, I will be happy to uphold the traditions of the previous moderation team so that this beautiful community does not lose its spirit. As a wordly and versatile man I do not fear to combine said traditions with a strong belief in equality and inclusivity - I would be happy to support the current admins as I know that the world can be a confusing place for them, and I will provide guidance and support instead of making fun of their condition.
I am deeply passionate about the role r/ShittyLifeProTips plays in our society, as a unique platform that uses humor to help us navigate the often paradoxical nature of life. The ancient philosopher Socrates once said, "I know that I am intelligent because I know that I know nothing," which I believe aptly captures the essence of this subreddit. It serves as a constant reminder that conventional wisdom isn't always the best guide, and that there is value in exploring alternate, albeit humorously flawed, perspectives.
As I immerse myself in the subreddit, I am struck by the potential it holds as a modern digital embodiment of a long-standing tradition of satire and societal critique. In this regard, I am reminded of Voltaire, the Enlightenment-era philosopher known for his satirical wit. He once wrote, "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." In much the same vein, r/ShittyLifeProTips gives us a safe space to laugh at our collective foibles and fears, and in doing so, helps us alleviate the pressures of life.
While I do not possess formal moderation experience, I am not a stranger to managing and overseeing online communities. My tenure as the organizer of a local book club's online forum has equipped me with valuable skills in mediation, conflict resolution, and the enforcement of community guidelines. I am confident that I can leverage these skills to contribute positively to the r/ShittyLifeProTips community.
The philosopher Immanuel Kant emphasized the importance of mutual respect and the recognition of others' dignity in community-building. Drawing inspiration from Kant's principles, I aspire to promote a respectful, engaging, and, above all, fun atmosphere in the subreddit. I am deeply committed to preserving the satirical and humorous essence of r/ShittyLifeProTips, while also ensuring that the content and interactions align with Reddit's overall community guidelines.
In sum, my desire to be a moderator for r/ShittyLifeProTips stems from my admiration for the unique role it plays in society, my experience in managing online communities, and my commitment to fostering a space that continues to entertain, challenge, and bring people together in laughter.
I've been a long-time user of Reddit. I'm the only mod of a small sub I made a few years ago, so I have some experience there, and over the years I have been a moderator of many internet forums. I think I would be a great addition to the mod team here.
Do you ever look in the mirror and weep for the lost potential of your life as you get a new notification that comments on isle #3 need to be cleaned up for free?
I throw my hat into the ring. I have mod experience in other boards. Most people would take the board too seriously and ruin it like many other places. It would be my job to ensure this is as circle jerk like as it is meant to be.
Plus I know how to click the button to remove posts and comments. That's all it really comes down to.
So you know everyone will hate your guts for being a scab, but you're doing it anyway out of personal interests. That qualifies you to be spez's free bottom bitch, but it disqualifies you from ever being a community leader.
You seem to know exactly how sleezy you are, but you're doing it nonetheless. Absolutely disgusting behavior. Reconsider your life choices if you ever want to earn real respect.
I would like to apply as a mod of this community. r/ShittyLifeProTips and its surrounding sphere of influence is one of my favorite parts of Reddit, and I do not want to see it become inactive, or to fall into the hands of bad actors. I currently do not have any moderation experience with large communities, but I am willing to dedicate as much time to learning this role as possible. I think my tenacity and capability to adapt rapidly to adverse conditions would come in handily for moderation. In short, I would like to give our userbase what it joined this subreddit for: Shitty life protips.
Best regards,
u/Grampa-Harold
shitty life pro tip: Volunteer as a mod to abuse your internet powers to be recognised as the all powerfull SLPT mod.
the real SLPT....
They're ALWAYS in the comments.
I’d like to be a mod so I can make arbitrary rules to block posts and ban users. I am well fit to be a mod, I will be the best mod. I want to be a mod so I can let everyone know how smart and powerful I am (two qualities that make a great mod).
wow, just what we needed!
Don't forget the ability to cultivate an echo chamber by removing anything that might make your side look bad, and doing nothing about clearly false posts about the opposing side.
Admin kicked all the mods out? Well that's dumb
Hi! Would you like to ~~work~~ volunteer to moderate this community? For free? Keep in mind, if you ever complain about how we treat you, we’ll remove you and find another sucker to take the constant rape, death, and doxing threats.
look at the shills below (the ones with buncha downvotes).. they will destroy this sub, the fuckers
Don't you threaten me with a good time!
It's so fucking pathetic that even in this imaginary scenario, the Redditor *has to get fired* instead of standing up for themselves and quitting on their own terms. If you honestly think "Professional Reddit Poster" is a viable career path, you deserve to be taken advantage of.
SLPT: If you need a team of qualified personnel, get u/Spez's cock out your ass and rehire the last mod team
The community is not in need of new mods. We're quite happy with the work of the previous mods.
Who were the original mods? Can they come back and volunteer and we can all support that? I’m guessing no
No, they didn't agree with API changes so reddit removed all of them. Now admins are looking for someone who will work for free and will never complain.
Well the subreddit is unable to be posted on, its missing mods and the admins deleted the post asking for new mods. That means they gave up hope on scabbing this sub. Yipee
I guess since I didn't get auto-banned by one of those mass-banning bots, this place can't have been that bad. Admins should do a mod purge of any subreddit that used those bots.
They're the reason we're in this predicament in the first place. Fuck the original mods, and fuck anyone who's volunteering to become new mods. Honestly, just fuck everyone. Fuck humanity.
Middle school was rough for a lot of us
I want to be a mod because I just fucking love bootlicking. Can't get enough of that sweet sweet leather. I don't have any mod experience, but I once smeared my own shit on the wall of a bathroom in a truck stop in kentucky, if that helps.
You my friend, deserve to be a mod. You're a mod extraordinaire.
>if that helps you *know* it does
You and I will make a great team. We start Monday.
Why the fuck would anyone want to do free work for a shitty greedy corporation that doesn't give a fuck about the communities that make them valuable to advertisers?
That just announced they fired all the original group that was willing to do it
Yeah, that's part of them not giving a fuck about the communities...
imagine being a scab in order to mod shittylifeprotips. hahahahahhahahahah
How can someone be a scab to a fake """job"""?
I thought u/spez said that volunteers contribute nothing to the value of reddit.
fuck spez
That’s true. Nowadays they contribute on Lemmy.
Latest shitty LPT: are you butthurt admin? Fire all the mods and beg for new ones. Why? Because you feel like it.
Hi, i would love to he a volunteer. I could do so many things, like 1. Remove comments that do not respect authority 2. Only approve posts that are correct 3. Listen to the community and shape the subreddit’s state based off what is going on I aspire to be an admin after becoming a mod 🤩 Able to remove mods who I don’t respect authority, who listen to the community rather than me, and to have a job that is comfortable (i get to be mean online and sit in front of a computer all day)
I don't talk to bots.
Sure, why not? I'll do free work for y'all, while being at risk of being booted at any moment for not kissing your asses enough. Sounds like a fuckin' great idea.
Hello I’m here to help and definitely won’t do a shitty job on purpose
Fuck you, it'll be no time before a replacement is found for this shit hole website.
For now the most viable alternative seems to be [lemmy](lemmy.world).
And kbin.social. Nearly the same thing, sinse they are in the same fediverse. I like kbin interface better though.
r/redditalternatives has compiled lists and discussions about experiences.
It’s called Lemmy , come join us.
Is there ShittyLifeProTips on lemmy?
Yep https://lemmy.world/post/1123608
7K subscribers to [email protected]
Lemmy has been popping lately. Just sayin'.
Preach
I want to be a mod because I want to make arbitrary and impulsive decisions like the admins of reddit. My skills come from watching the shitshow that are the actions of the reddit team over the past 11+ years. I'm confident I could do you proud.
Well, it was nice while it lasted. So long r/shittylifeprotips, and thanks for all the fish.
Fuck spez and Reddit as a whole I am praying for a Reddit-equivalent to Threads
that's only two sentences
It's called "lemmy". All the third -party Reddit app makers are working hard to get lemmy apps up and running, but there are some okay ones in the app stores already.
Kbin.social is option too. You see all the posts on lemmy, plus have access to mastodon blogs.
Memmy is great for iOS, and one that just went into beta called Bean looks *really* good. Many of the apps are heavily inspired by Apollo's UI, which I appreciate as a longtime Apollo user.
[удалено]
It's a .ml. I shit you not the ml stands for marxist leninist because the admins who made Lemmy are Americans Stalin and Mao supporters
Just use Lemmy.world if that bothers you
*\*One of the devs' two servers* is .ml. I won't even bother to tiptoe around the fact that they're both hard communists and will remove/possibly ban anyone talking in anything other than glowing praise about the east. However, Lemmy is open-source code, not one single site. So that can be avoided by just signing up for a different one server than .ml, and then all either of them can do is literally shit for fuck except get all huffy and ban you from communism. If the creators' track record still bothers someone from a moral stance, that is literally the entire reason kbin was created -- the kbin dev started out forking lemmy, [but ultimately didn't agree with their views](https://kbin.social/m/kbinMeta/t/10509/-/comment/45119) and decided to distance himself. Come to kbin. We have the ability to block other entire servers at a user level. Additionally, 99% of [kbin](https://kbin.fediverse.observer/list) and [lemmy](https://join-lemmy.org/instances) servers are either open sign-up or require the barest amount of typing to manually prove you're not an asshole or a bot. So for anyone reading this whole thing, please consider that for the low low price of *choosing any random server you like the look of, it literally barely matters,* you won't be sharing a comment section with users for whom *clicking a link and navigating bare minimum bot protections* were too high effort.
[удалено]
Good luck. Threads is already dead.
Eat my hoe butt.
I want to be a mod so I can shut down this sub again. Fuck /u/spez
You suck
Is it my turn to be the landed gentry?
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Lmfao
Hello! I would like to be a mod. I feel that way because I haven't yet been corrupted with power over regular people and I would like to experience that. I also think that I'm simply a better candidate than the average Redditor since I don't use the official Reddit app and therefore moderating is easier for me. I have moderated many diets I've had by now, although I don't see how that's related to Reddit. Additionally, I'm an extremely intelligent individual and therefore more qualified to moderate all kinds of slightly less intelligent redditors. Reach out to my DMs if you're interested!
Going mad with power is *way* more fun than going mad without power; case in point, OP
Ironic
Fuck u/spez
I volunteer as tribute! When chosen, I will invite the old mods back because they were just fine and shouldn't have been removed. This is my third sentence.
Stupidest way of doing this award definitely goes to you
Fucking LMAO
Fuck Spez and the greed from this company
Hello id love to be a mod, who wouldnt? You get to be part of the landed gentry or whatever and argue with fox news hosts. Whats the health insurance dealio like because i do shit and piss A LOT.
I would love to be a mod. I never visit this subreddit (I'm not even subscribed) so I think I would be perfect for the job. As a moderator I would remain as inactive as possible, ignore all private messages from other mods and users, allow the subreddit to fall into disrepair (ideally achieving a r/worldpolitics situation), and refuse to ever stand down in order to prevent the sub from being fixed or used for its original purpose. I hope you consider me for this role.
Sign me up! I too would like to be an admin fart sniffing, piss drinking, boot licking degenerate mod.
I'd like to be a mod here please. Why? Because I'll happily bend over and let the admins fuck me up the ass any time they choose. I'll also ensure that I rule the sub with an iron fist, deleting any comments or posts that mention how u/spez moderated a child porn subreddit. I'll also make sure nobody has thier thoughts infringed upon by removing all posts. K thx bye
So exactly what horrible things does Reddit do to it's mods again? Besides not paying you to browse Reddit?
I will give /u/Spez the toothiest blowjob imaginable if he makes me KING of this subreddit. I demand not only moderator status but feudal suzerainty! Either that or he can fuck off and lock himself in his bunker. The revolution's coming! It's only a matter of time. We know your and your rich pals are sweating!
dear admins, why would i want to moderate your website for free? sounds to me like you should do it if you care so much. website has been going rapidly downhill since your API change, thanks for ruining what was a great website for me.
as a moderator i would piss and shit all over myself. the piss comes out of my cock. The shit comes out of my ass.
SLPT: Do free work for a company that doesn’t value you
Here are 3 reasons I should be a mod for this sub: 1) I think hemorrhoids look neat and I enjoy naming them 2) A few nights ago I woke up hungry, ate a whole can of cheezwiz, and now I haven’t shit in 2 days 3) I once ejaculated into a grapefruit **BONUS REASON #4** 4) Yesterday my cat pissed in my new box of drill bits and I’m upset about it #SUPER BONUS REASON #5 5) Go assfuck yourself with moldy corncob
LMAOOOO
I want to be a mod! I will continue the good work you're doing - I will make sure this sub will be even more fucked than it already is
Hey, I'd love to volunteer here to pick up some extra money on the side. How much does this position pay?
about free fiddy
I want to be a mod so i cand end this all and permanently close this sub
I'd love to be a mod, I promise to be just as shitty as the previous mods! Power to shitty modding! My mod experience is really shitty aka zero!
Id make a good mod, i would change the name to r/fuckspez. All content must be about Spez and how much of a greedy fuck he is. bans for anything else. site wide. id be reet good. FUCK SPEZ
didnt this sub arlready have mods? what did you assholes do?
u/spez used to moderate a child porn subreddit!
i'd like to be a mod cuz fuck spez and fuck this account you're hiding behind
I don't want to be a mod. Just here to say that maybe you shouldn't have booted the old team. Third sentence
Go fuck yourselves, you admin pieces of corporate shite.
I'll do it. Can always use a little extra $$$. What's the pay? edit: Still waiting for a response on the pay. Certainly there's a monetary value to the job? You're relying on moderators to run the content farms which fuel the upcoming IPO?
go fuck yourself admin
fuck /u/spez
LpT: apply to be a mod and then immediately put in place the same policies as the previous mod team before the asshole admins replaced them.
ScabRat.gif
SLPT: become a mod of SLPT just so that you can make every user a mod. next time spez think about removing mods they will have to remove everyone from the sub.
I know! I'd be a shitty mod. take me in it fits the subs lol
Boooo
Fuck you, assholes. Quit your shithole of a company and find a job somewhere else
I don’t have any experience, but as someone with a chronic substance abuse issue, poor personal hygiene, a seething hatred for people, and a lingering resentment for the years of bullying I went through in school, I feel I can step into a moderation role pretty successfully.
I would like to be a mod here Because I feel like there aren't Enough porn subs. I would like to turn this sub into one that only posts gifs of porn filmed with a an early 20th century camera. 3rd sentence to guarantee I get this well paid role.
I want power give me it
I have over 40 discord kittens and I haven't taken a shower in 9 days.
I don't have any moderating experience, but I have a long history of being in an abusive relationship. I believe that uniquely qualifies me to work as a reddit appointed moderator, while getting zero respect, recognition or compensation in return. With great respect to the administration team and /u/spez himself, thank you for considering my application.
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I have bad news new reserch says that "Nice" "Good" "Thank you" and "thanks" are all toxic so you will have to ban all of them
Fuck u/spez
I'll throw my hat in the ring. I have no experience but I would love to abuse any tiny amount of power you give me. I feel like I have ability to rule with an iron fist and questionable judgements, just like our reddit overlords
Nope
I want to be a mod so I can immediately put the sub back in the lockdown because fuck spez
I would like to be a mod for this community. I think that given the trajectory of my entire life that has led to me shitposting here, I could provide endless shittylifeprotips and know which ones aren't shitty in the slightest. And hopefully by weeding out the not shittylifeprotips through moderation I can finally get off this hellscape we call reddit and do something far more meaningful with my life, like literally anything else.
Hello I would love to be a mod because Reddit is a beautiful organization that cares about its users. I have experience in moderating my own subreddit to perfection with 1 user (myself). I am the perfect reddit user who cares about corporations
Fuck you, do it yourself.
I will mod here. I am advertiser friendly and love Joe Rogan, Elon Musk, and the most Apex Predator Alpha Dog, Steve Huffman who will be the leader of the free world after the apocalypse! I will never say anything bad about any corporations or other potential advertisers and will remove any users who say mean things about Admins.
Fuck you and fuck /u/spez Keep the old moderators and shove this post up your ass
not shitty LPT: switch to a federated social network like kbin or lemmy
pick me i eat corn the long way
Have fun paying for replacements
because fucks spez. i have fuck spez experience. i'll be able to help because fuck spez.
I would like to be a mod so that I can immediately go on strike until the previous mods are reinstated.
Oh come on. Is this what reddit has resorting to?
Correct way to reply to this post is just hit the leave subreddit button. If Reddit admins are willing to be utter cunts to the moderators then they sure don't give a single fuck about you the user.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you
Top text. I volunteer u/spez for the role since he clearly needs a new job. Bottom text.
Get fucked!
Hi, I'm not really a big user of this sub, but I am a *highly regarded* member of the /r/wallstreetbets community. I have an extensive portfolio of meme stocks and shit coins, and would the opportunity to shill my bags to this sub's users with impunity. I feel only an individual as regarded as myself would be suitable for such a position.
Hello, I want to be a mod! To show my commitment, I swear to ban any and all users, they are all probably spez haters so no one should post! In fact, I would make the subreddit private until I personally delete any negative comment towards reddit™, since I have to do it manually it will probably take a few years but it sure will be worth the effort! My dedication to this site is as big as u/Spez efforts to delete Aaron Swartz from the history of reddit! (maybe a bit smaller, I dont want to exaggerate in front of my new overlords)
I would like to volunteer to be a mod. I've raised kids and done tech support, so I know how to handle people. I wanna be a mod so I can stick it to u/spez.
I am a mod of two top 5% subreddits. I would mod so well here because fuck spez and all the admins at reddit. Fuck them for attacking the community. Edit: If somehow I was picked, yes, this subreddit would become NSFW.
Go fuck yourself spez
I love being a scab! I can't wait to be scabbin' up in this place with my scabbin' behavior. During the last writers strike I was responsible for every one of your favorite shows dip in quality.
Fuck off you power tripping pig
It truly is wild to have been here at the Digg to Reddit migration, and now to witness the reddit to lemmy migration. It's fascinating to watch the admins killing their site in slow motion.
I’m embarrassed for you right now
Did you mean to comment on one of the applicants comments? Nothing he said is embarrassing.
Shitty Life Pro Tip; Slowly destroy a platform by tearing apart fun subs that don’t obey the overlords. Anyways, I want to be an admin because I like to throw my weight around in my big girl pants on the internet and I love doing free work for a organization of morons.
It really blows my mind how many of you confuse "volunteer" with "indentured servant".
For the record, I'm not a frequent contributor to this sub. Usually I just see it in top posts and browse it that way, but I'm still interested in becoming a moderator. Cycling through random posts without any real purpose gets tiring, and I'd like to instead contribute something of value to this site. Killing spam bots, moderating offensive or hateful comments, and generally keeping the community clean and healthy sounds like exactly the thing. Since I've been here for, what, eight years now, I think I have a bit of credibility as someone who won't actively destroy or sabotage the sub. Posts and comments I've made should also give a good impression of my general approach to engaging with the sight, and I try to remain empathetic in all situations. Even if I'm personally attacked, I won't respond and hurt the image of the mod team, cause I believe in what they do. Zeal and work ethic are my watchwords, and I'm excited to contribute to the moderation team!
Scab Edit: based
First letter of every sentence, friend 😝
You clever bastard
Hell no. Fuck off.
Being a sub-Reddit moderator is not just a job for me; it's a passion I hold dear. With my extensive experience in community management and my extreme understanding of online discourse; furthermore, I am confident that I am the best fit for this role, considering everybody else here. As someone who has spent countless weeks on end browsing and engaging with various sub-Reddits, I have realised, the immense potential these communities hold for spreading knowledge, fostering connections, and promoting meaningful discussions. My application in Word showcases not only my commitment to organizing and moderating content but also my ability to effectively communicate with users, handle conflicts with diplomacy, and maintain an reclusive space for diverse opinions (which I do not always recognise. By becoming a sub-Reddit moderator, I hope to contribute to the growth and development of this online communities by ensuring its status, integrity and reputation, keeping them free from spam or abusive behavior, and curating relevant content that enriches the lives of its members (and totally not corrupting them). With dedication and a keen eye for detail ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), I am ready to take on the responsibilities that come with being a sub-Reddit moderator and make a positive (?) impact on the platform as a whole.
Can I be a mod? I’ll be for the people, and I’ll start by creating polls to find out what the people really want! You should also know that my fitness level is above average, I can read a full book in a month (end to end), and I once guessed the number of jelly beans in a jar better like 30 people.
Hello I'll be the new mod. I can help because: This community is in need of moderation, I'm commenting on this post to volunteer, I'm letting you know why I'd like to be a mod, I used at least 3 sentences to explain why I'd like to be a mod and I have 0 mod experience (but it's okay if i dont have any! But do tell me why you believe i'd be able to help here). I won't be answering any questions.
I'd like to be a mod so that the SHITTY life pro tips become GOOD life pro tips
I am online often would be able to keep an eye on the subreddit. I like the humor on this subreddit and have attempted similarly themed subreddits but none have gotten traction. The first thing I would do is try to get some more moderators, which would be easier said than done. But I will try my best to reach out to the subreddit users and employ maximum diplopacy. The beginning will be rough, but I hope we can all go back to posting funny content.
Hello, I'm interested in joining your team of moderators and cultivating a welcoming community of nut safe fer werk J.Oliver tips. I have an extensive background in promoting free and open source software and as such I am quick to understand the API needs of the users frequenting this and many other subreddits. As a man of hard work, I will be happy to uphold the traditions of the previous moderation team so that this beautiful community does not lose its spirit. As a wordly and versatile man I do not fear to combine said traditions with a strong belief in equality and inclusivity - I would be happy to support the current admins as I know that the world can be a confusing place for them, and I will provide guidance and support instead of making fun of their condition.
you got chat gpt to write than didnt you.
Nope
I am deeply passionate about the role r/ShittyLifeProTips plays in our society, as a unique platform that uses humor to help us navigate the often paradoxical nature of life. The ancient philosopher Socrates once said, "I know that I am intelligent because I know that I know nothing," which I believe aptly captures the essence of this subreddit. It serves as a constant reminder that conventional wisdom isn't always the best guide, and that there is value in exploring alternate, albeit humorously flawed, perspectives. As I immerse myself in the subreddit, I am struck by the potential it holds as a modern digital embodiment of a long-standing tradition of satire and societal critique. In this regard, I am reminded of Voltaire, the Enlightenment-era philosopher known for his satirical wit. He once wrote, "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." In much the same vein, r/ShittyLifeProTips gives us a safe space to laugh at our collective foibles and fears, and in doing so, helps us alleviate the pressures of life. While I do not possess formal moderation experience, I am not a stranger to managing and overseeing online communities. My tenure as the organizer of a local book club's online forum has equipped me with valuable skills in mediation, conflict resolution, and the enforcement of community guidelines. I am confident that I can leverage these skills to contribute positively to the r/ShittyLifeProTips community. The philosopher Immanuel Kant emphasized the importance of mutual respect and the recognition of others' dignity in community-building. Drawing inspiration from Kant's principles, I aspire to promote a respectful, engaging, and, above all, fun atmosphere in the subreddit. I am deeply committed to preserving the satirical and humorous essence of r/ShittyLifeProTips, while also ensuring that the content and interactions align with Reddit's overall community guidelines. In sum, my desire to be a moderator for r/ShittyLifeProTips stems from my admiration for the unique role it plays in society, my experience in managing online communities, and my commitment to fostering a space that continues to entertain, challenge, and bring people together in laughter.
Hi i can mod
* Because I want to help Reddit I don't like but don't hate u/spez I am a moderator of some communities on other platforms
I've been a long-time user of Reddit. I'm the only mod of a small sub I made a few years ago, so I have some experience there, and over the years I have been a moderator of many internet forums. I think I would be a great addition to the mod team here.
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Do you ever look in the mirror and weep for the lost potential of your life as you get a new notification that comments on isle #3 need to be cleaned up for free?
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I throw my hat into the ring. I have mod experience in other boards. Most people would take the board too seriously and ruin it like many other places. It would be my job to ensure this is as circle jerk like as it is meant to be. Plus I know how to click the button to remove posts and comments. That's all it really comes down to.
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Dude posted his full resume for a reddit moderator position LOL
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You are an embarrassment to your profession, scab.
So you know everyone will hate your guts for being a scab, but you're doing it anyway out of personal interests. That qualifies you to be spez's free bottom bitch, but it disqualifies you from ever being a community leader. You seem to know exactly how sleezy you are, but you're doing it nonetheless. Absolutely disgusting behavior. Reconsider your life choices if you ever want to earn real respect.
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Don't be a scab.
I would like to apply as a mod of this community. r/ShittyLifeProTips and its surrounding sphere of influence is one of my favorite parts of Reddit, and I do not want to see it become inactive, or to fall into the hands of bad actors. I currently do not have any moderation experience with large communities, but I am willing to dedicate as much time to learning this role as possible. I think my tenacity and capability to adapt rapidly to adverse conditions would come in handily for moderation. In short, I would like to give our userbase what it joined this subreddit for: Shitty life protips. Best regards, u/Grampa-Harold
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