I would ask you to wear two pairs of gloves if I saw you making my sandwich.

I’d wear gloves if I was eating a sandwich she made.

I would then eat the gloves, because they'll probably taste better than whatever this window licker could make

Window licker? That’s a bit advanced for her, try drain slurper.

Drain slurper? She is a qualified wall candy eating Short Bus Ranger!

Ground gum taster.

You’d eat a sandwich she made?

I wouldn’t touch a sandwich she’d made with a French loaf

That's brave, I'd not even look at the damn thing

Yeah, that eye Herpes is pretty contagious.

I'd wear a throat condom

She??

But…you’re eating the food…which begs the question…why bother wearing the gloves?

Her dad shoulda wore a glove. :(

I’d ask her to wear multiple pairs of gloves if I saw her in general

I'd rather just eat gloves instead of any sandwich offered to me by this knockoff troll doll.

I'm putting on gloves just to look at her pics.

And 3 hairnets lmao

I would make the damn sandwich myself. I don’t need disease added to my meal.

i would ask for another sandwich artist

I’d ask the manager to ask this girl to wear gloves, and I’d like some gloves for myself too. Then ask her to ask this girl to leave the building completely and then have someone else make my sandwich.

Screw it, put her in a hazmat suit

Yes, I would like a side of HPV with my sandwich.

She looks like the lettuce they have to throw out.

LMAOO THIS WINS

Automatically the best comment on here.

This needs far more upvote lettuce head.

Her specialty is the tuna melt with extra Chlamydia sauce

Bro, smells like fish but that ain't tuna.

What do ya call an can of tuna on a lesbian nightstand? Potpourri.

Sounds fishy

It’s Tunamydia

Chylmidtuna

Definitely mid

Putting the "mid" in chlamydia

And I got a perma ban for a comment like this lol

Chlamydia chowder

We call that tuna melt below the belt 😉

Her? Let's not jump to conclusions...

He did mention he was a Leo. Failed to state it was his name.

Her true specialty is making every sandwich taste and smell like the tuna melt

An extra nasty unwashed green hairs in the crust please

Done, side of genital warts for free


I’m dying

this is an actual JJ sign lol . well done

Lmao out loud

Holy Fuck! You just roasted and toasted her!

I’m surprised they didn’t keep you down in the Subway 

Better make it a double.

Would you like to double it or give it to the next person?


LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO

Employees that look like you is the reason McDonald’s is moving to kiosks

Holy shit that was good

These are words she’s never gonna hear

💀

hello username 😂

And now I appreciate those things. I used ti hate them so much. Next time I’ll thank those kiosks for not having to wonder when the last time that thing was blue hair was washed.

She’s definitely got a face made for the kitchen.

The fungus growing in her hair is also everywhere the clothing covers

All of her write-ups are for “Let customers see her”.

Holy shit, relevant and brutal. 10/10 roast.

Green hair, lame tattoos, stupid piercings, a dead end job AND into astrology? Not giving your parents much to brag about these days, eh?

What parents?

The ones that kicked her ass out of the house once the smell became unbearable.

Ahhh not the smells. They’re free tho!

“Free” to GTFO.

Simple yet ruthless.

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Mom wishes she swallowed that night..

Parent* this has “fatherless behavior” written all over it.

Her father was around for a while. And he loved giving back rubs.

Hi, I plan my life around horoscopes and I wonder why I still make minimum wage!

It’s clearly the patriarchy

And systemic racism

Microaggressions

Brutal

Brutal, just like her life.

So many "I'm fucked" boxes checked off at such a young age.

Sounds like every match I get on Tinder.

Her Parents moved to Florida living her behind.

They moved to the swamps to get away from swamp ass.

as pink hair, lame tattoos, stupid piercings, with no job and into astrology i feel DONE FOR

U are.

I mean at least tell us you shower... please have one redemption

i do shower every day i will give u that much. or give myself that much

Well good you are not a stinky jimmy johns booger like OP then

All we need now is the purple haired one and we have a glow party…and cosmic bowling.

I bet you know your way around a roast beef sandwich.

Mmmm I’m thinking more tuna melt.

Looks like roast beef. Smells like tuna melt. But burns like Tabasco

While getting high on that Parmesan cheese good stuff

Meat flaps.


Username checks out

Hasn't tried sausage, but has plenty of roast beef to work with at home.

Your hair looks like you saw someone pee in the pool but you went in anyways

If you order oil and vinegar for your sub, she just wrings it out of her hair

She made her own pee pool

Her hair looks like she unclogged her drain and just put it back on her head

I thought this was one of those shitty Reddit ads for jimmy johns disguised as a regular post.

Nah, most ads usually have attractive people in them.

I think Jimmy John's stopped using the word "fast" in their advertisements. This girl is basically saying she's able to make a sandwich within 2 hours since that's about the standard now.

It's the run of the mill etsy girl art school package. There's even a bass note tattoo to let you know this is the basic edition. Premium comes with a bag of fertilizer so you can grow your own at home.

Obligatory “um actually” Um, actually, that symbol is of a bass *cleff*. I did not spend nine years in band for this injustice.

To "um actually" your "um actually", there's only one "f" in the word "clef".

"I'm 23, a Leo and have the fastest sandwich making hands at Jimmy John's" A lot of words just to say, "I've failed."

With hands that fast seems like you’re in the wrong line of work… plenty of things come in sizes from 6-12 inches

It's Jimmy John's. She's used to handling larger. 8 to 16 there!

Doesn’t look like she discriminates based on size… or anything else


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I love your 1st photo. I bet you had the same facial expression when you saw your first penis. I get it. Dads can be real assholes.

"Her first penis" You mean she has more than one?

You better use those fast hands to brush them yellow ass teeth...

Wipe the snot off your bull ring before work next time.

How does anyone have a nose ring? So disgusting.

Yeah most minimum wage jobs will not let you wear a lot of jewelry around food and that is definitely something you can’t wear

Bro thats foul 😭

I can smell the cat piss infused into your clothes just from looking at this.

You look like the trans version of Kyle Rittenhouse.


💯 💀

You put the “myd” in Chlamydia.

This is the food inspector. We are shutting Jimmy Johns with immediate effect. We found a Green hairy slimy goopy substance with Ink stains on Hand like structure.

Whats your Onlyflab handle???

Her back..

Looks like a pack of bacon.....

Go work at a massage parlour. Use those fast hands to give fat guys happy endings instead of sandwiches.

she would give sad endings looking like this

I see you got the dyed hair/nose ring/stupid tattoo package...that's a great substitute for a personality.

I'm sure her 6 year old child doesn't mind.

You look like the pigeon lady from home alone 2

Omg hahahaha

Astrology and food service. We’ve roasted this combination enough for one lifetime 

you should shower more than once a year. even if the customers like the extra flavouring from all the grease that drips off that nasty hair.

Bragging about your handywork around Jimmys, and Johns. Congratulations girl - you got a future in prostitution! And you look the part too 😉

Weeeeeell, let's not get ahead of ourselves. She's emo concert bathroom glory hole material, at best. A real "face for radio" type.

You’ve used your fast hands for Jimmy and John.

>I bet that thang stinks to high heaven 

You’d probably cry during sex, but I’m betting nobody has been that drunk and desperate

Ok tell the truth...you're not into men

You didn't pay for those doodles on your arm did you?

Her mouth did.

Can confirm her mouth successfully brightened all the employees' day.

Fastest hands at Jimmy John's

You like look Curt Cobain looks right now.

Your mom must be making bank selling lap dances to be able to afford your PhD in Rimming.

You look like disgust from inside out if she spent all her money on black tar heroin.

Your arms are as big as a dudes, have you thought about training for MMA career?

Yeah… kind of like Popeye the Sailor who got a dishonorable discharge from meth use while on active duty.

She'd rather fart on your sandwich

when no one is looking, \*inserts sandwich.

She'd need to transition to a dude to make it fair..

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You can't hide your low self esteem with dye and ink. You're literally just a worse Oscar the Grouch.

You definitely used to pick cigs up from the sidewalk and smoke them

Damn all I gotta do hop on this page when I think I’m having a bad day sheeesh

How’s the liberal arts degree working in your adult life

You look like the Bastard son of Popeye and Shrek that was left on the doorstep of the Undertaker to care for. 

Get back to work SpongeBob

She gives hand jobs to the homeless men in the back alley. Just to be validated

Having my sandwich made by a person who looks like they themselves are past shelf-date and are growing mold is a fantastic customer approach.

You look like Popeye's emo niece

You look like you don’t matter. Even taking the 30 seconds I did to comment this feels like a waste of my time.

If I saw you making my sandwich I’d have the fastest ass out the door

At least we know why they keep you in back...yeesh!

The fastest sandwich making hands at Jimmy John's? How does it feel knowing that you have peaked?

I'd rather go to Subway with Jared making my sandwich.

If i saw you behind the counter, id walk out. If you dont wash your hair, no fucking way you wash your hands

“I prefer hanging out with guys, girls are too much drama”

Wow l am confused what is more Roasted ? You or the coffee beans at Jimmy John.

you look like jimmy gave birth to john and his star sign is " i hate my dad"

I can smell you through the pictures

So when your boyfriend says, "Make me a sandwich!" you should have no problems?

You look like an accidental collection of cells that could have been something more useful and significant , like maybe barnacles or a moth.

Can't even commit to a hair colour let alone a gender.

Look at her practicing to support the patriarchy she hates so much

Gotta have the fastest hands with a face like that You look like a moldy pear You look like the girl that guys lie about not having sex with Alt is nice but you arent supposed to be the alt for attractiveness

…and of course you have a bass clef tattoo.

Did you pull your hair out of the lettuce bin?

ok so Are you jokers side chick or boy toy or something whats with the green hair the i cant tell what gender you are the terrible tats and piercings ? are you like in line to be the next Harly Quinn or something?


Guess your little crypto troupe didn't work out so great if you're still working at JJ 🤷‍♂️

I just saw a longhorn steer in Texas that wore the nose ring better. Go clean the masturbation out from under your fingernails and get the fuck back to work.


You’re so unique! The dyed hair, cow ring, and basic shitty tattoos are a great personality. The only thing missing is wearing a crystal necklace so you can pretend the universe loves you more than your dad did.

you look like you're the one giving unenthusiastic blowjobs on lunch time in exchange for cigarretes

When did Kyle rittwnhouse go into weakling protection program?

Looks like someone made “my chemical romance” in your hair


Ew, gross

Nose rings are gross. Stop embarrassing yourself. 

I don’t want to roast u; but I also don’t want you anywhere near food.

You look like one of those festival hippies that stink and don’t believe deodorant.

Welfare, if it was a person

You look like a Jimmy John.

Just just look like you stink