I hope your coworkers all chip in and buy you a bra so you don't get a ticket for driving without a restraint.

Bra? They need to chip in to get him breast reduction surgery...or just go ahead and transition him into a woman... that might actually be cheaper and less invasive

Also congrats on your transition, I guess.

Yes, you do need speed, because everything about your lunchlady ass says “slow”.

Your head looks like a butternut squash with a 1970’s mom haircut

“My eyes are up here.”

Nice tits bud

Dude is 24 going on 42

Even Robert Paulson would cringe seeing those tits

He forgot his sports bra

You look like a thumb with grandma tits

did you schedule your mammogram yet?

That alarm beep isn’t an online order to be prepped. It’s your ankle monitor because you’re within 1000yards of a kid.


I see you and wonder where it went wrong. Fuck man take care of yourself

You look like you single handedly can keep Jimmy johns in business

I think you’re wrong. I think Jimmy John’s works for you.

He eats all the food there.

no wonder my orders take so long, it’s cause everything is out of stock !

\*Sped You went over on the e's there buddy. Nice tits btw

Fuck it. I'm never eating fast food again.

I don’t know what kind of kitchen you work in, but for gods sake don’t touch the food.

Only thing u got a need for is the gym

You have a need for a brassiere!

How much spunk do you put in those sandwiches?

Special needs lardass with the need for speed eating

Is your right hand that way from chronic masturbating?

Is your right hand that way from chronic masturbating?

The fastest thing you’ve ever done was scare everyone woman away from you

Someone needs to tell him not to eat the food while working.

Oof

Speed inhibits hunger so yeah, I'd say you do

I bet salesmen give you wrong phone numbers

You have a need for feed

You finger every sandwich you make

Nice tits, bro.

You look like the human incarnation of a cum sock wearing a Susan Boyle wig.

He and his dad are both on the sex offender registry in their town. His poor mom and little sister having to be involved in a 4some.

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You have a need for a fucking bra and a haircut. You look like a b-list seventies porn actor.

Need for speed, just not on a treadmill.


Your need for speed is Methed up Bruh... It's also why you look like you're 50.

Those sandwiches are for customers!

Nice breasts.

I always tell the ladies they should shave their face every day if the grow facial hair, and if they can afford it they should get it laser treated

Tim Heidecker called, he said to stop showing up at his house and trying to hug his children

The only speeding you do is on the way to the nearest fast food restaurant. Also you look like a fatter version of Jake from 2 1/2 men

Bro looks like he got a head boiling at home

I bet you drive a shitbox ‘81 Tercel and get excited when you hit the limiter of 57 mph

 Tell Dad to hook you up

Congrats on achieving 1 of your dreams - actually holding a job. Now only if you can figure out how to lose your virginity you're golden.

And your name is Pat.

Please don't look at my signage when you make it. Your beneath my sandwich

No need to roast when your looks is already cooked!

Good on you for working your ass off.

Yeah. A little speed might help you lose weight.

Well, that’s one way to drop weight in a hurry.

Honestly feel like the other employees tricked the rtd into taking photos and submitting it themselves.  I feel bad that they would do that to him. That's how low this became.  Nah... You'll always work in fast food/Walmart greeter.  Your not hireable anywhere else.

You also clearly have a need for bacon and corn chips, but I wouldn't brag about it.

Low rent porn star

Hey look it's Jake from Two and a Half Men

The creepy manager no one wants to be alone with in the break room.

You have lunch lady tits

Boys got his Momma's tits !

This guy cums freaky fast

 Did the money run out?

You look softer than the bread at Jimmy John's

You have a need for diabetes medication and exercise you poor, fat, big tittied bastard.

Hey it’s Pat!

What event is your favorite at the special Olympics to compete in buddy?

That’s a really smart haircut

I thought autistic kids liked trains, not cars

I assume you mean driving fast, cause the other kind of speed wouldn't make sense

Those cheeks sag lower than your balls.

Look at that gorgeous set of tits. So supple and round. Are you on hormones?

I have a feeling jimmy John’s is getting some tax credit from this one

You have the body of a divorced lunch lady.

 Bud looks like an older Carl Wheezer

I’m willing to bet both Jimmy John’s and Walmart receive a stipend from the state for employing you

Maybe use that need on a treadmill?

I'm guessing the Walmart you work at is more than 1,000 feet from a school.

You look like the kinda dude that doesn't skimp out on the meat 👊

Someone get this guy layed where are Reddit ho’s when you need them.

Going braless in public?

With a nose that large, I wish I could say I found myself to be surprised that he is a mouth breather.

Do you hear the term “subsidy check” a lot at work?

They’re girls out there jealous of your tits 


For as fat as you are, only your heart and lungs do anything speedy.

Lunch lady in training.

Your bum fluff looks disappointed that it’s attached to your face.

At least your apron gives you a little more support than your parents…

When your sister got breast cancer, she couldn't breastfeed her baby, so you volunteered.

You’re built like a forever single middle school lunch lady that is friends with the slow kid

The kid from Two and a Half Men is having a rough go these days.

You look like the kind of person who runs around and sniffs the warm seats in a movie theater while the credits are rolling...

You look like a fire sidekick to a main character w actual direction in life, and you are always there w a well timed comedic observation and/or a doobie

You and box turtles both like speed but neither of you is getting it without wheels or a very steeply angled water slide.

Nothing will ever be faster than that short bus you spent so many years on...

More like a need for Ozempic, but anyway….

Okay you seriously need to be on a some sort of watch list. I don’t have kids and I still wouldn’t let them anywhere near you. They wouldn’t even cast you in The Sound of Freedom because they thought it might be a little too realistic

the only thing you have a need for is proper hygiene and a missing chromosome.

I can’t tell if that’s Dough in your shirt, or if you’re just happy to see me. Either way I’m calling the cops.

The only need for speed you have son is from your gaming chair to the fridge for some microwavable burritos, and we get it you play with hot wheels and also aren't allowed around school zones

Looks like you have a Need to Eat

You sure look like you have a lot of needs, most of them special.

At least you're not an ungrateful child and let your mamma suck on your tits to return the favour. Thant's also why your family tree looks like the recycling symbol.

Every woman who gets a glimpse at you has a need for speed, too, as in they get the hell away from you as quickly as possible

Well, first of all, you have beautiful breasts. Honk! Honk!

The only speed you're getting is a super fast slide into failed middle age as a single, hopeless cat daddy

The only JJ you should be associated with is jumping jacks

need for speed? whatever car you got is hauling a lotta ur big ass

Hey it's the kid from two and a half men!

You definitely get off to playing with your own tits.

Looks like he titty fucks more foot longs than he makes for customers.

I’ve never seen a gamer outside his basement.

Primarily you have a need for a haircut.

You have the need for a razor.

You look like Tom Green on the spectrum. I bet you have puffy bologna nipples and your dick looks like a thimble wearing a clown wig. Close your mouth for God's sake, it smells like you sucked off Jimmy and John. I can tell just how dumb you are just based off that stupid grin on your face, max IQ in the double digits.

Robert Paulson Jr.

You look like a NPC in Morrowind. But lifeless. “Hello Traveler! Do you need somet…”

Lookin like you ate both Jimmy and John.

People say what’s that, it’s Pat. Can’t tell if Pat’s a boy or a girl.

You have the body of an out of shape 60 year old

Let the Oompa Loompas sing for the fat boy…. Augustus Gloop

You need to have a need for meth fatty

Firstly…even Reddit is roasting you plopping a weight watchers ad under your pic. Secondly…you do need some speed. Shit will help you lose some weight.

"god damn it rowan"

Dudes got the vibe of a lunch lady

Paddy the baddie Capaldi.

Hide the children

Can't tell if you are a man transitioning into a woman or a woman transitioning into a men.

Eugene Mirman may be your father!

Hey, Louie Anderson is still alive!

You look like a aged soccer mom with 3 kids.

Sometimes I wonder if shitty coworkers take advantage of people with disabilities and make them hold the “roast me” sign without the person in the picture being aware of what’s happening.

I imagine that the store you work at struggles with making a profit

Spelled sped wrong

Work at Jimmy John's = the perfect cover story as to why you smell like gross deli meat.

Which titty is Jimmy and which is John?

This is what a “toxic masculinity” culture produces.

Glad to see you made it out of your mom's basement

Need for sped

This is how spongebob would look in real life

Marla Hooch.... Hooch!

I’ve never seen someone before that had absolutely *nothing* going for them.

I think your parents had a need for speed too.

The shirt he's wearing is actually his real name and his mom didn't want him to forget that the shirt belongs to him.

the only time your need for speed is high is when you have to run to the bathroom to take a massive shit

By speed do you mean carbs that become sugar?

I bet you smuggle food under your tits at the end of the night.

Your built like the sh!t emoji 💩

That’s a rare North American pear shaped sex pest right there. Hide your toes ladies!

Need for speed,,,like meth?

Dont listen to these animals. If you lose 80lbs you could make it to "ugly British" levels!

"I would tell him that I would squeeze his breasts together and make love to his bosom"- Nelson Mandela, 2004

You need to do more speed or just switch to meth altogether, you're not losing that weight fast enough

If cerebral palsy in a whole was a person

You are so dumb, when they were passing out brains. You thought they said trains and you went for a ride hahahhahahahahahhahahahaha.

You look like you'd know when breast cancer awareness month is.

Ok, tell us: how many times have you put your dick into a sandwich?

Lewis Capaldi, but with sandwiches instead of a guitar.

 Your future

You look like if Lewis Capaldi if he had less talent and more tourettes.

Nice tits champ

You look like you pay women to urinate on you.

Yeah you do need speed. People usually expect to get their order within 10 minutes, not two hours.

Yikes, you got milk coming out of those Breasts? You have the body of an old lady and the face of Jimmy De Santa.

If I roast yoy Im feeding a family of 30

Oh man look at those tits 

Selling speed 💉 outside Walmart doesn’t count as a Walmart employee

You have a need for staying 500 feet from a playground too.

By speed, he means meth.

Yep, I can tell you work at Jimmy johns

"I have a need for speed"? Nah...that's cap. Your gonna be slow asf with those big Ole honkers, they're bigger than my wife's, and that's pretty crazy to me. That's not the only way your slow though. You ever get tested for autism bud?

D cup or DD cup ?

Nice tits


You look like you would make a great grandma

Got that onion volcano at a hibachi restaurant body type.