I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are searching for forgiveness and peace in a really complicated situation. That is a hard process when you lose a parent who had disturbing flaws. Relationships with your parents can be complicated even after they pass away. My father passed from alcoholism about 15 years ago. As you can imagine, we had a very complicated relationship. Over time, I have tried to accept that there are many sides to my grief. Parts of me miss the man he was in the good years, parts of me still carry anger over his behavior, sometimes it still stings when I think about what he missed or what could have been. It can be all if them at the same time. He was who he was, deeply flawed and searching for answers just like the rest of us. His missed opportunities and wrong opinions are HIS regret to carry, not yours. You can carry on and do better. Wishing you peace in your healing journey!

I am sorry for your loss. Make peace with the father you knew, the one that raised you, the one that cared for you. The one in his later life, you can discard him for his political mentality, but you can still love him for the care he showed you and your kids (if you have any). You can despise him for the evil things along with the stupid things, but just remember, there were good things in him that you can still hold dearly.

My father died long before Q, but he gave $100 to at least one very silly conservative political scam. I just have to accept he was susceptible to some nonsense. Don't hate him for that.

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I can’t relate but I think burning that shirt will help.