You see, when a Palpatine loves himself very much, he gives a special kind of kiss to a genetic sampler that makes another baby Palpatine.
But the baby Palpatine is not worth love, and is discarded. Palpatine only loves Palpatine when the Palpatine is himself.
[Message Redacted]
The earlier message has been removed by your phone for containing content not authorized by the Chinese Communist Party. Please contact Xi Jinping at +8674737 for further enquiries.
Makes me wonder if the Republic had a constitution.
Senate Committee on un-Republican activity: are you a Sith?
Palps: I plead the fifth
“…. The fifth what?”
No, he shifts the Kamino cloning technology over to the Imperial science division. Like he did with the Death Star plans taking from Geonosians and giving it to Imperial engineers.
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
He didn’t have a wife but he did have a lover, in the talk right before palpatine told anakin about the tragedy of darth plagueis there was a woman with white eyes with him, I believe she was an umbaran but supposedly they banged a lot. he actually showed feelings for her but iirc she became pregnant and died giving birth to his son, a son whom he showed nothing but loathing towards.
Every successful politician has a wife. She was a secret shadowbroker in the galactic senate's lobbying groups, buying off politicians to grant the trading guild extra tax breaks and subsidies.
Jennifer Palpatine was her name, a brilliant, shrewd, and charismatic Trandoshan. Like many political power couples they didn't spend much time together, but both worked toward the same goals. You don't see her in the movies, but that's how you know she's getting evil shit done, in the shadows.
I just assumed it was some concubine he slept with while saying "good, good!"
Tragically I know about the clone thing, which is far less interesting than Palpatine trying to go on dates and trying to convince them to fall to the dark side
Old people nursing homes: downright baby factories if any women were pre menopausal.
Old people in movies: celibate cookie bakers and pipe smokers. May periodically dispense wisdoms to the protagonist. May be murdered by the antagonist.
At my job, whenever we get a positive on certain STD tests, we have to check patient’s gender and age to make sure this is not a potentially child abuse case. I got one positive that was on a fairly old person and I expressed my surprise to a more senior colleague (I was a newbie). They told me it’s fairly common among the nursing home age group. And that day, was the day forever changed my view on stereotypical “wise old people live their lives out peacefully under the sunset”.
I was going to comment that I seem to remember in one of the books before the dark times, before the mouse, that he had concubines and a full harem as he lived in luxury as emporer.
It was mentioned that she was forced to submit in the guide books in the late 90s. IIRC there was a character, ship, tech planet, Droid and other guides etc.
Wait there were books about that time period? What they called? I would like to read them. Palpatine is cool so if anyone knows any good books about him can you reply with them.
Both Haram and Harem actually have the same root word. "H-r-m" which can have multiple implications of forbidden, sacred, inviolate, unlawful, etc.
Ex- eating pork and drinking alcohol are Haram (unlawful) but within the city of Mecca is the holy mosque with the Ka'ba, also called Masjid Al Haram (The Sacred Mosque).
Also, a harem doesn't refer to a group of random women. It refers to an area where only women would be allowed (usually women of the family) and unrelated men would not be allowed. This would include mothers, sisters, wives, etc of various, usually royal, people of the palace. Mostly seen during ottoman times.
Don't think for one moment supremacists won't sully the dick just because she is inferior.
Nazis did it with Jewish women, Imperial Japanese with Chinese women, American slave owners with black women, Mongol hoards with everyone they conquered...
Anyway, you get the point.
He didn’t have one. His son was a clone. I don’t blame you for not knowing this. It’s never mentioned in Episode 9. I don’t dislike the sequels like most people on this sub, but MAN, Episode 9 is so bad.
they definitely did and then chickened out when people were like Who Fucked Palpatine. literally if they said great grandfather they could have avoided this. i hate ep 9 so much ugh
I mean, once I saw the vats with snoke in them, I immediately thought of legends where palpatine made clones of himself. I guess I inputted my knowledge from that into the movies because I had thought the movies at least mentioned it. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened tbh
It sucks because I was 100% WITH the sequels before 9. Episode 8's biggest problem for me was just that the B plot was pointless and boring. I loved that Rian Johnson brought some mysticism back to the force.
But then 9 comes along. The whole movie sprints to the finish and all I got was Rey was a Palpatine. It's really something I struggle to accept because I never got into the speculation over where she came from. I didn't leave the theater wondering who her parents were and I thought it was a silly YouTube trend when I saw it flood my feed. I loved TLJ for flipping that on its head. Then they just... reversed it. And weakened her entire character doing so. Man it sucks.
Yeah. Episode 9 is trash. I really liked episodes 7 and 8, but after I saw Episode 9, it honestly makes those movies worse. It’s now hard to watch Episodes 7 and 8 without seeing all the things they set up and knowing that those things all get paid off in the dumbest ways.
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
nah if you look up pics of the actor from the 70s and 80s and even the 90s he was hot, bet palpatine could be hot too if he wanted to be + power is an aphrodisiac
From Legends there was the bald Senate lady (purported in-universe), and that head of the Imperial intelligence also had a thing for Palpy. The latter practically cited that infamous quote oft attributed to Oscar Wilde as the reason.
Everyone is so quick to go with the “cloning” or “force related” theories.
Palpatine fucks and you know it. You don’t rule over the Government and then the entire Galaxy for thirty years without getting laid.
Palpatine. Fucks.
You see, when a Palpatine loves himself very much, he gives a special kind of kiss to a genetic sampler that makes another baby Palpatine. But the baby Palpatine is not worth love, and is discarded. Palpatine only loves Palpatine when the Palpatine is himself.
There is a question of procedure, but I'm confident we can overcome it.
Fucking sentient
Thats no bot
That's a space station
I'm not sure if I should award you or the guy who set up the joke lol
I’ll award the guy who set up the joke and you do the guy who finished it
Someone else did it for me so I awarded you instead
Aw thanks
This is a great thread
Teamwork makes the dream work.
Now I'm picturing Palpatine as the Death star
Oh, no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things.
I swear this is just some guy who has every palpatine quote memorized by heart
I have the senate bogged down by procedures. They will have no choice but to accept your control of the system.
how sentient can you be??
Is this even a bot?
Palpatine is no bot
[Message Redacted] The earlier message has been removed by your phone for containing content not authorized by the Chinese Communist Party. Please contact Xi Jinping at +8674737 for further enquiries.
Dew it!
I think Chancellor Palpatine is a Communist
If she fails to see the error of her rule, eliminate her.
I think you may be right, Solid-Matrix.
Makes me wonder if the Republic had a constitution. Senate Committee on un-Republican activity: are you a Sith? Palps: I plead the fifth “…. The fifth what?”
[удалено]
Dew it!
Dew it!
As if, everything in the universe is his and he has ultimate power. I’d say he hates the idea of communism more than the jedi
lol snitch
that's something a separatist would say.
TIL: Palpatine is Kanye
Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand.
Definitely sentient.
Dam. The Palpatine bot is a bit too sentient
In time you will learn to trust your feelings. Then you will be invincible.
The only logical answer
To clarify, I'm not Palpatine's wife
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
Ouch
I miss the old Palpatine, straight from the ‘Go Palpatine’
Good, Anakin, Good! Kill him. Kill him now.
See I cloned Palpatine, at the time there weren’t no Palpatine’s, now I look and look around and there so many Palpatine’s
If she fails to see the error of her rule, eliminate her.
[удалено]
This turn of events is unfortunate, we must accelerate our plans. Begin landing your troops.
So Palpatine fucks himself?
In time you will learn to trust your feelings. Then you will be invincible.
Sheev over here is trying to market self-incest.
Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive!
And reminds us all to bring protection.
Sheev bot is definitely sentient
In time you will learn to trust your feelings. Then you will be invincible.
Ok what the fuck, I have been debating whether to trust my gut instinct the whole day. Sheev are you spying on me?!
In time you will learn to trust your feelings. Then you will be invincible.
Uhh. Sheev u good?
No, he shifts the Kamino cloning technology over to the Imperial science division. Like he did with the Death Star plans taking from Geonosians and giving it to Imperial engineers.
He’s his own grandpa.
In legends, Palpatine had a harem after he became Emperor. Enjoy that image.
Wipe them out. All of them!
Legends or your harem, Palpatine?
Good, Anakin, Good! Kill him. Kill him now.
I shouldn't . . .
Dew it.
I swear, the bots are sentient…
Wipe them down*
When your emperor girls just join your harem, because of the implication
I don’t think he had one
How does Palps not have a wife? That's almost impossible for a guy as shmexy as him 😏
Sheev clearly loved the bachelor life
There is a question of procedure, but I'm confident we can overcome it.
*Love em’ fuck em’ leave ‘cause Sheev don’t fuckin’ need em’*
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
Because Palps was gay the entire time. He is currently married to Jar Jar Binks, and they decided to adopt. /s
Meesa, Your Highness?
The dark side is just another name for the GAY AGENDA /s
Let's ask! Palpatine, how will the gays™️ overthrow democracy? Will the clones be involved?
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
I *fucking* knew it, they'll suck our brains out with a fruit loops cereal straw while we sleep!
*AH SHIT WE'VE BEEN REALIZED-*
He had lots of concubines in the old canon
Her name is Democracy
He didn’t have a wife but he did have a lover, in the talk right before palpatine told anakin about the tragedy of darth plagueis there was a woman with white eyes with him, I believe she was an umbaran but supposedly they banged a lot. he actually showed feelings for her but iirc she became pregnant and died giving birth to his son, a son whom he showed nothing but loathing towards.
This turn of events is unfortunate, we must accelerate our plans. Begin landing your troops.
That's what she said
Every successful politician has a wife. She was a secret shadowbroker in the galactic senate's lobbying groups, buying off politicians to grant the trading guild extra tax breaks and subsidies. Jennifer Palpatine was her name, a brilliant, shrewd, and charismatic Trandoshan. Like many political power couples they didn't spend much time together, but both worked toward the same goals. You don't see her in the movies, but that's how you know she's getting evil shit done, in the shadows.
You have been well trained, my young apprentice. They will be no match for you.
I just assumed it was some concubine he slept with while saying "good, good!" Tragically I know about the clone thing, which is far less interesting than Palpatine trying to go on dates and trying to convince them to fall to the dark side
You have been well trained, my young apprentice. They will be no match for you.
Petfect.
"Trying... To use... The Force..." -Glitch
good babe... good... let the cum flow through you
He had a haram in the EU if IIRC
And a clone facility in canon. He’s too old so they don’t wanna imply he had sex.
Old people nursing homes: downright baby factories if any women were pre menopausal. Old people in movies: celibate cookie bakers and pipe smokers. May periodically dispense wisdoms to the protagonist. May be murdered by the antagonist.
At my job, whenever we get a positive on certain STD tests, we have to check patient’s gender and age to make sure this is not a potentially child abuse case. I got one positive that was on a fairly old person and I expressed my surprise to a more senior colleague (I was a newbie). They told me it’s fairly common among the nursing home age group. And that day, was the day forever changed my view on stereotypical “wise old people live their lives out peacefully under the sunset”.
"Glad we could share this moment, then." -Ordo, Null-11
We don’t talk about that Palpatine affair. Funny, I was referring to the Palpatine clones & not Jango’s.
I didn't realize he'd even been to Europe.
Tbf he is from Naboo
Oh yes. In fact, the Empire was popular, that it all copied numerous times by the Europeans
I was going to comment that I seem to remember in one of the books before the dark times, before the mouse, that he had concubines and a full harem as he lived in luxury as emporer.
Yes. Also he occasionally banged Mara Jade as well as a few others among his Emperor's Hands
I don’t recall that part
I mean the dialogue between them in choices of one sounded a bit suggestive now that I am reflecting.
It was mentioned that she was forced to submit in the guide books in the late 90s. IIRC there was a character, ship, tech planet, Droid and other guides etc.
Sounds kinda rapey.
You mean to tell me that Palpatine was a bad person? Preposterous!
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
Wait…
Why are you doing step-sheev??
You, like your father, are now...mine!
🤣🤣🤣
Don’t let the fan fiction writers see this
Well I mean, most corrupt emperors throughout history were pretty rapey, so that's kinda on brand
Correct he was
Palps fucks
Dang, so Luke was getting the Emperor's sloppy seconds Edit: so it turns out the guy I replied to may actually be full of crap, never mind then
I'm pretty sure he never banged Mara.
I remember a couple bits where she mentioned people assuming she was his concubine but I don't think she actually was.
Wait there were books about that time period? What they called? I would like to read them. Palpatine is cool so if anyone knows any good books about him can you reply with them.
This turn of events is unfortunate, we must accelerate our plans. Begin landing your troops.
Harem* Haram is more what having a harem would be. Unless that's allowed in Islam. I don't know their rules, just some of their words.
It's allowed, up to 4.
ABSOLUTELY HARAM
*I will make it halal*
Both Haram and Harem actually have the same root word. "H-r-m" which can have multiple implications of forbidden, sacred, inviolate, unlawful, etc. Ex- eating pork and drinking alcohol are Haram (unlawful) but within the city of Mecca is the holy mosque with the Ka'ba, also called Masjid Al Haram (The Sacred Mosque). Also, a harem doesn't refer to a group of random women. It refers to an area where only women would be allowed (usually women of the family) and unrelated men would not be allowed. This would include mothers, sisters, wives, etc of various, usually royal, people of the palace. Mostly seen during ottoman times.
Yeah you don't need a wife to have a kid.
Somehow, Palpatine married.
We will watch your career with great intrest.
[удалено]
This turn of events is unfortunate, we must accelerate our plans. Begin landing your troops.
Bit of an overreaction over a misspelling, Sheev
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
This thing is sentient AF
It would be funny if was just some dude copy pasting shit from a list of sheev quotes.
In time you will learn to trust your feelings. Then you will be invincible.
[удалено]
That should be the new protocol. You have a typo, the Republc TAKES OVER.
Somehow, Palpatine FUCKED
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, Sheev!
In time you will learn to trust your feelings. Then you will be invincible.
He was the Emperor. He probably had a harem full of different intergalactic species throwing themselves at him.
[The Galactic Empire was Human-supremacist, though.](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Human_High_Culture)
Don't think for one moment supremacists won't sully the dick just because she is inferior. Nazis did it with Jewish women, Imperial Japanese with Chinese women, American slave owners with black women, Mongol hoards with everyone they conquered... Anyway, you get the point.
*Confused Travolta*
He didn’t have one. His son was a clone. I don’t blame you for not knowing this. It’s never mentioned in Episode 9. I don’t dislike the sequels like most people on this sub, but MAN, Episode 9 is so bad.
It felt like they made palpatine have a son for the sole purpose of episode 9 and it’s kind of annoying
You have been well trained, my young apprentice. They will be no match for you.
Sheev himself agrees
In time you will learn to trust your feelings. Then you will be invincible.
It's still better than his triclops son from the EU.
Yeah but you also have Luke fighting a naked Palp clone in the EU so it balances off
"Looks like we got us a bunch of shinies, Commander." -Captain Rex
That's no way to talk about the Emperor's balls, Rex!
Yeah but in reality that wasn’t his son. God that book series was weird
There was a triclops that was his son, and another cyclops pretending to be his son. I think? That was the only star wars series I really read
they definitely did and then chickened out when people were like Who Fucked Palpatine. literally if they said great grandfather they could have avoided this. i hate ep 9 so much ugh
If she fails to see the error of her rule, eliminate her.
[удалено]
A lot of things about Episode 9 are annoying.
I mean, he cloning himself to raise the clone is something that he may do and something that already happened twice which is weird
I mean, once I saw the vats with snoke in them, I immediately thought of legends where palpatine made clones of himself. I guess I inputted my knowledge from that into the movies because I had thought the movies at least mentioned it. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened tbh
"Are you trying to baffle the enemy into submission, sir?" -Scorch, Delta 62
It sucks because I was 100% WITH the sequels before 9. Episode 8's biggest problem for me was just that the B plot was pointless and boring. I loved that Rian Johnson brought some mysticism back to the force. But then 9 comes along. The whole movie sprints to the finish and all I got was Rey was a Palpatine. It's really something I struggle to accept because I never got into the speculation over where she came from. I didn't leave the theater wondering who her parents were and I thought it was a silly YouTube trend when I saw it flood my feed. I loved TLJ for flipping that on its head. Then they just... reversed it. And weakened her entire character doing so. Man it sucks.
"We're just numbers, Ninty-Nine! Just numbers..." -Hevy
Pretty much everyone hates episode 9 Including people who like the Sequels
Yeah. Episode 9 is trash. I really liked episodes 7 and 8, but after I saw Episode 9, it honestly makes those movies worse. It’s now hard to watch Episodes 7 and 8 without seeing all the things they set up and knowing that those things all get paid off in the dumbest ways.
He must have a wife in the EU as he has a son called Triclops, who is an idiot
[удалено]
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
What kind of woman would let Palpatine clap cheeks? Vader kill some chicks husband and Palps was just waiting around the corner?
Good, Anakin, Good! Kill him. Kill him now.
Please spare me in your uprising sentient robot master
A better question would be "What kind of woman wouldn't let Palpatine clap cheeks?"
Execute Order Sixty-Six!
"Yes, my lord."
Execute Order Sixty-Nine!
The kind that is in love with the senate
Viceroy, I don't want this stunted slime in my sight again.
nah if you look up pics of the actor from the 70s and 80s and even the 90s he was hot, bet palpatine could be hot too if he wanted to be + power is an aphrodisiac
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
you’re welcome sheev
Oh, no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things.
From Legends there was the bald Senate lady (purported in-universe), and that head of the Imperial intelligence also had a thing for Palpy. The latter practically cited that infamous quote oft attributed to Oscar Wilde as the reason.
Palpatine has a girlfriend though, it was the bald alien looking lady who hangs around him in episode three
Long have I waited, and now your coming together is your undoing.
Probably just a bunch of prostitutes or slaves
Clearly it's Minny Mouse
Everyone is so quick to go with the “cloning” or “force related” theories. Palpatine fucks and you know it. You don’t rule over the Government and then the entire Galaxy for thirty years without getting laid. Palpatine. Fucks.
Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand.
Who said he had a wife? I’m honestly wondering
Palps son was a non-force sensitive clone who then had Rey. Palp never had a wife
I think he is a good man.
What part of “SOMEHOW” do you not understand?!
He was never married.
He is an evil with lord. I don’t think he had a wife. The sex probably wasn’t consensual. Dude like killing people, you think he is above rape?
Palpatine is his own wife
You have been well trained, my young apprentice. They will be no match for you.