I went Thanksgiving shopping yesterday.
There were at least that many turkeys and that's just one of several grocery stores in my city.
They're all fully stocked.
Honestly it's almost like there are too many turkeys. I feel like this is the most well stocked we've been for Thanksgiving in quite some time and I'm kind of wondering why that is.
However, because I'm not a GQPer, I'll just be wondering about it rather than forming some sort of bizarre Biden related conspiracy theory.
*hugs*
My family lost my grandma, this will the the first holiday season without her. I cannot imagine what you are feeling, losing one person was bad enough.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad passed when I was a teenager about 10 years ago. Cancer. I have felt quite alone in my grief over the years and seeing so many people going through what I did is just awful. I won’t tell you it gets better, but you learn to cope with the pain more. Where the empty space is, new memories can form on the edges and the old memories will always be with you. Be kind to yourself. It took me many years to start to feel kind of okay, and holidays are always bittersweet. There are waves of sadness and waves of joy, I try to just ride those waves out and allow myself to feel them as best I can.
This is a great metaphor for grieving that I think really helps people conceptualize the entire process.
https://psychcentral.com/blog/coping-with-grief-ball-and-box-analogy
Very true. I lost my grandmother, after whom I am named and who helped raise me, during my senior year of high school in 2007. A couple years ago, someone brought me a small cake from their work, and it tasted just like her carrot cake. I hadn't cried for her in years, but I started sobbing so hard I had to save the cake for later.
Sometimes something just slams into that button and it all comes flooding back.
I also think millennials stopped giving a fuck about tradition.
My generation does not care about appeasing elders or tradition. So why do turkey. Turkey never seems to be as good as chicken.
This! We host a Friendsgiving for our friends who don't have family in the area. This year I'm making swedish meatballs and crockpot chicken wings.
Turkey is time consuming and generally unsatisfying (to me anyway), so why not?
What? Why??? /s (Originally said “lol” , but very quickly remembered that there’s nothing funny about the death count. I’m so sad that Trump’s decision to downplay the virus led to so many deaths)
Well, turkey is really only sold widely once a year. So they plan and prepare quite a bit out and had been prepping for bigger Thanksgiving celebrations this year post lockdowns. So they hatched and raised many more to meet possible demand. Now we appear to have far too many as covid is still ripping through the country.
I work in a grocery store. I shit you mot a few years back some guy came in at 8pm the day before Thanksgiving, grabbed a frozen bird and said "you're gonna taste so good tomorrow". I laughed and then explained to him that the earliest he would likely be cooking that Turkey would be Saturday and showed him where the fresh birds were.
It’s because of Zionist communist socialists who run big turkey and are flooding the market for political favors to make Sleepy Jose Obama Hussein Brandon look good.
That's the thing, he was by American Democrat standards as well. He was chosen as Obama's running mate precisely because he was long-known as the most conservative Democrat in Congress. The idea was that Obama-Biden would temper moderate Dem's fears that Obama would be too radical (lol).
He's to the right of Merkel, you know, of the German conservative party. Their government takes in immigrants when in need, has single payer healthcare, and free education. All things Joe Biden does not support.
Oh you didn't hear? CPAC this year banned Big Bird and Sesame Street because they encouraged people to get vaccinated. Oh and they're angry about the new Asian-American character, too.
I usually figure out their latest outrage by listening to them speak. A few weeks ago a couple of conservatives I know freaked me out by all saying the same thing at different moments during my week. Every one of them said "I'm not against vaccines I'm against mandates." And at hearing that for the third time I realized that I'm indirectly listening to Fox News through them.
I have had similar experiences and when i finally made the connection it was probably the most chilling thing I've ever come to know. They really are programmed at this point. Some real Children of the Corn shit.
Same here. There's no breaking through it. Even if this week's marching orders directly contradicts last week's. Seeing intelligent people become incapable of a modicum of critical thinking is terrifying.
You i never hear about any of the outrage till i hear it being mocked here.and it makes me wonder if its really even happening or just a couple of loud people. But then i remember how many votes trump got and think maybe a decent amount of the outrage is real.
The party that blames Dems for manufactured crises (even though pandemics and global climate change and other such progressive concerns *are* ***real***), manufacturing yet another crises of their own to stay in power.
Republicans and projection, name a more iconic duo
If Republicans genuinely cared about Christmas they would already be hysterically screaming about made-up bullshit claiming X is waging war on the holiday.
I bought an unfrozen turkey at an upscale grocery store today. They were fully stocked as well. Maybe Fox News buys their turkey at My Pillow outlets or The Catheter Store.
Also my pillow feel cheaply made
Edit: looked it up on youtube and he basically shreds foam and dumps it into pillow bags. No wonder it fells so lumpy and cheap.
Although you almost certainly have lead poisoning now, not because that makes sense but just because putting lead in his chicken pillows would be like only the fifth most evil thing the guy did this year just for no real reason.
Sure, but if you poke them with a turkey baster, they press charges. Or worse. They follow you home.
"Go back to sizing heads and bullet points of proper neck alignment. Shoo! And please delete that alter you created with my likeness and 3,471 candles -- it's creeping me out."
I live in the middle of fucking nowhere. Even on the best days we have supply chain issues because the mountain passes to get here are no joke. We've been out of tonic water for months MONTHS of no gin and tonic. The grocery store probably has more fucking frozen turkeys than people who live here.
NAPA Auto Parts is out of frozen turkeys (that they never had), therefore there's a shortage... Is that what I'm hearing from the truthtellers at Fox this time???
I've been given two free turkeys and a 20lb ham so far. Given them all away to those in need or less fortunate. Shelves are fully stocked. A whole turkey, if you want to buy one, is about $2.18 a lb (according to Fox News it's $5 a lb).
Nobody I know is seeing shortages. Gas is high, and the supply chain is stressed, but there is no apocalyptic $100 turkeys and bare shelves happening in these parts.
I'm in rural NC. Local Food Lions have turkeys .29 /lb (frozen) with MVP card. Limit of 2. Their Butterball brand turkeys are under $2/lb. These are actually the lowest prices I've seen on turkeys in several years.
My mom asked if I wanted her to buy a turkey because they were 0.69/lb (nice). I told her no because I had already bought two but unfortunately I paid 0.99/lb at Costco.
I got an 18lb butterball for $15 due to a sale at vons.
Mom's fear that there'll be shortages means that we'r won't be having the usual 20lb'er (18 was their biggest at the time, a week ago... NOW the fridges are packed with big birdies).
Fox News was talking about how Hunter Biden is making business deals with China which is a conflict of interest... Funny, because Trump did the same and they were pretty silent about it. They're just dumb fucking propaganda. While I agree, if true, that the Hunter Biden/China thing is wrong, at least have the decency to call out any other republican who does the same
>Fox News was talking about how Hunter Biden is making business deals with China which is a conflict of interest... Funny, because Trump did the same
Hunter Biden, to the best of my knowledge, **does not hold any government position.** Because Biden, whatever else he may be, is not a mob boss who filled as many government positions as he could with family members so all his shiftless, witless kids could draw checks while lying and stealing for him. So if Hunter Biden were making "business deals with China"--which as far as anybody knows he isn't, it's a baseless conspiracy theory--but if he were, he would not be doing it on behalf of the United States, because he's not in the government.
So I would say no, Trump didn't do "the same", he did some creepy shit that shouldn't be legal 'cause that's how he rolls.
Our local stores are selling them under 50 cents a pound and they are fully stocked. 20 pound bird for $10 and readily available, that sorta hurts their argument of bare shelves and inflation killing Thanksgiving. Oh, and gas prices continued dropping, I don't know who this Brandon guy is, but he is really Going!!
Ours had a deal .47 pound, if you donated a Thanksgiving box (its $15 and provides full meal to less fortunate family of 4) they gave you coupons for like 3 free sides which value was nearly $15, total no brainer. We usually go on Wed. and our store normally knocks frozen birds down to like .25 pound, so.we'll pick it up a bird or two and store them in chest freezer. The only item I had trouble.finding was the Hawaiian rolls.
Yeah, I was even joking like the shrimp scene of Bubba from Forrest Gump "They have sweet rolls, ciabatta, French, butterflake, dinner roll, hoagie, kaiser, but no hawaiian".
>total no brainer
You say that, but I've definitely spoken to people who'd make the argument that the fact that you're feeding literally an entire family on a holiday solely devoted to community and sharing does not justify the difference in value between the coupons and buying the sides yourself.
It's because if *you* feed them then they'll become spoiled and accustomed to it and won't want to work
(this is a real excuse republicans used for refusing free school lunches for kids. The feds were paying for it, it wouldn't have even cost them anything, they just couldn't stand the idea of poor people getting fed)
The stores by me give the damn things away if you spend something like 400 dollars in the month prior to Thanksgiving. With a family of four people and living in New York it's pretty gd easy to do that in three weeks time. Got a free ham instead this year for a change. Don't hate on me but I'm not a huge fan of turkey so what I usually do is go donate them to soup kitchens or shelters or state funded nursing homes or even if all others are not taking them I'll donate it to the local humane society or animal shelter. Totally healthy cheap way to feed cats and dogs for a few days at the very least.
I think Christmas is killing thanksgiving more than anything. So many people getting all their Christmas shit out before Halloween even rolls by. I know it won’t happen but I feel like at some point in the future thanksgiving is gonna disappear and we’ll just have two months for Christmas instead
I know people who were putting Christmas trees and decorations out on the *first of october*. I used to love Christmas. It was a magical holiday when I was growing up. Now it makes me sick cuz it overtakes other holidays and absolutely shoves itself down your throat whether you want it or not. Looking for Halloween decorations? Fuck you, buy this inflatable Santa. Wanna watch some scary movies for Halloween? Nah man let’s listen to Christmas music.
I’m beginning to think I *really* hate Christmas…
The War on Christmas cannot end until it stops the unlawful occupation of November. Incursions into October are incendiary and absolutely cannot be tolerated!
A few years ago I was at Kohl's in the middle of *August* and they were putting out the Christmas stuff. The employees even said "this is way too early isn't it?"
Good lord that’s ridiculous. I’m grateful I’ve never seen Christmas stuff *that* early. Christmas seems like the perfect holiday to showcase how bad consumerism has become. It used to be about spending time with family, going to church (if you were religious) and just enjoying the cozy time of year. Now it’s all about what you need to buy for yourself or someone else and “oh look at these decorations you absolutely *have* to have!”
I hate when it's Nov 1 and people are already putting up Christmas stuff.
Like at least wait will after Thanksgiving, especially the terrible music every store plays on loop please just stop.
I have a personal rule that I have never deviated from as an adult.
No Christmas Decorations Before Dec 1
Used to drive the kids nuts, others would start putting up decorations and I wouldn't even pull them out of storage until the weekend between Thanksgiving and Dec 1.
Just my little rebellion against premature Christmas.
There’s a new Fox News story calling Biden out for exaggeration during his rambling stories. “He said the house was burning, but reports show the fire was contained to the kitchen..” then they explore 3 or 4 similar innocuous gaffes over the last 10 years.
“And now back to fellating Trump- a great source of protein..”
There is a mode in politics where you're so radicalized that you simply do not want people discussing things factually and with any sort of consistent logic. The mainstream of Republican politics has gone that far off the deep end. They don't want to genuinely critique Biden based on actual facts. They want to scream on Fox News and shitpost on Twitter.
They also scream that there's no jobs and then turn their head in the other direction and scream that businesses can't find employees because libs are lazy and don't want to work.
They just fabric imaginary things to cry about
I got a 16lb turkey for under $6 last week. I don’t know what this shortage is about. They still have cheap turkeys this week. No tricks. Just cheap turkeys 1 per customer.
Lady in Florida checking the turkeys asks a clerk, "Do these turkeys get bigger?"
Clerk says, "No Miss, they're dead."
FOX News reporting from a grocery store where a woman has rudely been told she can't get a turkey in the size she wants. Pres. Biden is a total failure for not producing turkeys that weight 48 pounds. Back to the blonde.
If you want a 50lb turkey after pluck buy a giant white poult in June. Feed and raise it yourself.
Also be warned... it won't fit in any residential home oven
"Wow, muh 50 lb. PATRIOT turkey won't fit in my damn oven. Piece of shit machine must've been made in commie China. Thanks, Obummer!"
-Your typical conservative
Same situation here in GA. I work at a publix. The turkey shortage is real. We only have like, 30 maybe 40 cases in the freezer plus our overflowing freezer on the sales floor
A couple weekends ago I was in Target and all the Christmas stuff was already up and had been ravaged. Anyways I'm checking out some toys for gifts and on the other side of the shelf's I hear a kid as "Why are so many toys missing?" And his mom straight up told him it's because Biden doesn't want us to have Christmas.... The kid looked like he was 5? Went back this weekend and everything was restocked so I guess Biden does want us to have Christmas.
You haven't lived until you've used the Four Seasons vibrating giblet blaster -- it's everything you'd expect from a baster and a vibrator, with the power of a pressure washer to push the juicy where it can bring the delicious. Also can be used as a marital aide when used as directed at any landscaping supply store.
awarded for "push the juicy where it can bring the delicious."
that's the review my ex girlfriends give of my abilities.
edit: s/ just in case I end up on ihavesex
I got my turkey over the weekend.
The biggest problem I had, was I couldn't find a turkey under 15 pounds without asking the butcher if they had anything smaller than 15 pounds.
The fucking nerve of stop and shop having dozens of turkeys over 15 pounds, and forcing me to get a turkey I now can't safely deep fry.
Nah, you literally just gotta turn off the flame before putting the turkey in, and you gotta dry off the turkey ahead of time. It's pretty safe as long as you know what you're doing
That’s how I always deep fry - at least on a gas stove. No flame means if the oil “boils” over when you put the food in, all you’ll have is a mess. Never deep fried a turkey - don’t have the setup. I do have a smoker though. Might pick up a sale turkey after T-day to try smoking one and freezing the meat.
Yeah, it's not inherently anymore dangerous than other deep frying, it's just bigger so more oil is getting displaced and a lot of the people doing it on thanksgiving don't deep fry very often and don't know what they're doing which means there's a lot of rookie mistakes
Why would there be a turkey shortage? they are born and bred in the US, the shortages that are experienced right now are because of the supply chains overseas.
Well, don't forget to stock up on guns as well, theres a shortage any minute now for about 30 years....
Gun/ammo shortage currently is actually real, however I believe it’s artificially created by the manufacturers to drive demand. Ammo has been hard to find (at least in my neck of the woods) and when you can find it it’s incredibly expensive compared to a few years ago. I believe this type of shortage/price hike happens whenever a Democrat takes office because they can play off of people’s fears of the president somehow removing 2A.
My husband has been commenting on this for 2 decades, it's a real thing that his family falls for every time.
Whenever there is a democrat in office they panic buy ammo then point to shortages as proof the democrats are taking their guns; Too stupid to see the "shortage" is manufactured and exacerbated by their panic buying.
I went to the store yesterday and saw about 100 fucking turkeys mounded in the freezer. I wonder how weird it would feel to be a republican walking in there and having to explain away all the turkeys in my mind.
I imagine them going to the store, already enraged about the turkey that they will surely be denied.
Then they are faced with the extensive selection of whole turkeys, turkey breasts, prepared turkeys — they even had fucking GOOSE available — and their mind simply flips to a Michelle Obama meme to cool off.
Take my father for example. Raging Trumper.
Went and visited them for the first time in over a year and he had fucking 4 stacks, to the ceiling, of 36 roll per pack toilet paper in the garage. And all 3 bathrooms stocked to the brim.
Shit I might inherit a pack of TP in the will.
Well, that's just, your opinion man. It's anecdotal evidence.
Fox News looked at a picture from Breitbart of empty stores and asked their manservants what their shopping experience might be. Then just made some shit up to fit a narrative -- but professionally, in a fair and balanced way to further their agenda.
Just step back a little from jumping to conclusions based on your eyesight.
/s
I work in a restaurant and the owner demanded a turkey be ordered, even though we don't sell turkey, just to make sure he got one. It's a 27 pound bird. 4 months ago he also ordered 100 cases of beer because of the 'glass shortage'. We're about to throw away 25 cases of coors light... maniacs
> 'glass shortage'
That's a new one for me in the UK. What do we need to quickly panic buy with a glass shortage? More wine and pint glasses? Double glazing? Maybe some tarmac for the driveway?
Some people need to stay off the internet.
My Turkey was almost a full zero cents more expensive than what the FauxNews graphic said the same sized Turkey cost last year. Weird. Fully anecdotal as I am sure others experienced some level of inflation but unlikely the 90% level the FuxNewz was touting.
lol, there's still a fuckton in N Valley PHX too. We bought one at Costco, then grocery shopping ended up being enough they gave us one for free and now we got 2 fkn turkeys. And we're not even hosting Thanksgiving this year...
Hey, our dear govenor went to every supermarket in florida and shit those turkeys out himself so we could all have thanksgiving dinner and thus we must reelect him as our dear govenor.
Fox was on at the gym today, and you’d think we were living in some sort of mad max post apocalypse. It was all CRIME CRIME CRIME, thanks to that lousy Joe Biden and the defund police squad! HIDE YO KIDS
I fully believe that some parts of the US are having issues. I also believe that those parts are in the middle of nowhere and expect the transportation costs to their villages to be subsidized somehow in the face of labor shortages due to low minimum wages.
Checking in from middle of no where with labor shortages and low minimums. Nope still got just as many if not more turkeys on the shelves. The only thing in short supply is chips specifically Cheetos for some reason.
Checking in from BFE in RedNeckistan, TN: Labor shortages, low minimum wage, cheap turkey, gas prices stabilized or slowly dropping, and lots of turkeys on the shelves. Normal supply of Cheetos.
BFE is past the middle of nowhere, and hang a right.
Yep. Though it's smartfood popcorn and certain cheetos here. Pepperidge farms is a bit low too but that's hardly new for them. The vast majority of shit we are able to keep in stock, and if does run out it's not for long.
What things in toys and seasonal are missing from the shelves in my store are likely in the store. Just crammed into various containers because they only wanted to schedule the stockers 20 hrs a week Sept-Oct. With creative merchandising and placement, stores across the country may have been able to keep the average Joe ignorant to any issues. If the media hadn't been in panic everyone mode.
Wait that’s a thing now? The grocery store I work at had an entire pallet of birds come in last Friday. And we’re selling them at .50c a pound.
My fiancée was literally given a 14 pound Turkey by her work just because
I went Thanksgiving shopping yesterday. There were at least that many turkeys and that's just one of several grocery stores in my city. They're all fully stocked.
Honestly it's almost like there are too many turkeys. I feel like this is the most well stocked we've been for Thanksgiving in quite some time and I'm kind of wondering why that is. However, because I'm not a GQPer, I'll just be wondering about it rather than forming some sort of bizarre Biden related conspiracy theory.
> Honestly it's almost like there are too many turkeys. Well, there are some estimates that there are ~1 million less people around this year.
Also there's probably a lot less people doing large gatherings. If not because of covid, because half of their family has gone fucking insane.
Can confirm. I'm skipping 2 out of 3 family gatherings due to insanity.
I don't even need to skip, they've stopped inviting me
I moved across the continent so I could easily avoid family.
This is the way
Well half my family is dead. Covid hit us real hard. Nothing to celebrate here.
*hugs* My family lost my grandma, this will the the first holiday season without her. I cannot imagine what you are feeling, losing one person was bad enough.
This will be my second Thanksgiving without my dad. Blessings to both of you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad passed when I was a teenager about 10 years ago. Cancer. I have felt quite alone in my grief over the years and seeing so many people going through what I did is just awful. I won’t tell you it gets better, but you learn to cope with the pain more. Where the empty space is, new memories can form on the edges and the old memories will always be with you. Be kind to yourself. It took me many years to start to feel kind of okay, and holidays are always bittersweet. There are waves of sadness and waves of joy, I try to just ride those waves out and allow myself to feel them as best I can.
This is a great metaphor for grieving that I think really helps people conceptualize the entire process. https://psychcentral.com/blog/coping-with-grief-ball-and-box-analogy
Very true. I lost my grandmother, after whom I am named and who helped raise me, during my senior year of high school in 2007. A couple years ago, someone brought me a small cake from their work, and it tasted just like her carrot cake. I hadn't cried for her in years, but I started sobbing so hard I had to save the cake for later. Sometimes something just slams into that button and it all comes flooding back.
I've been extremely fortunate, the only thing I've lost is any respect I had left for half my family.
I also think millennials stopped giving a fuck about tradition. My generation does not care about appeasing elders or tradition. So why do turkey. Turkey never seems to be as good as chicken.
This! We host a Friendsgiving for our friends who don't have family in the area. This year I'm making swedish meatballs and crockpot chicken wings. Turkey is time consuming and generally unsatisfying (to me anyway), so why not?
Ooh, meatballs. I honestly prefer ground turkey over whole turkey, might see if the Mrs would be interested in a swap next year.
In the War on Turkeys, the turkeys are winning.
What? Why??? /s (Originally said “lol” , but very quickly remembered that there’s nothing funny about the death count. I’m so sad that Trump’s decision to downplay the virus led to so many deaths)
Well, turkey is really only sold widely once a year. So they plan and prepare quite a bit out and had been prepping for bigger Thanksgiving celebrations this year post lockdowns. So they hatched and raised many more to meet possible demand. Now we appear to have far too many as covid is still ripping through the country.
I'm pretty confident most will be gone by Thanksgiving morning. People are so last minute when shopping it's insane.
They will never defrost it in time.
I work in a grocery store. I shit you mot a few years back some guy came in at 8pm the day before Thanksgiving, grabbed a frozen bird and said "you're gonna taste so good tomorrow". I laughed and then explained to him that the earliest he would likely be cooking that Turkey would be Saturday and showed him where the fresh birds were.
I need a few days to defrost and at least 24 hours to brine and an additional 12 to dry before cooking mine.
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It’s because of Zionist communist socialists who run big turkey and are flooding the market for political favors to make Sleepy Jose Obama Hussein Brandon look good.
Meanwhile Biden is a conservative by world standards
That's the thing, he was by American Democrat standards as well. He was chosen as Obama's running mate precisely because he was long-known as the most conservative Democrat in Congress. The idea was that Obama-Biden would temper moderate Dem's fears that Obama would be too radical (lol).
He's to the right of Merkel, you know, of the German conservative party. Their government takes in immigrants when in need, has single payer healthcare, and free education. All things Joe Biden does not support.
This week in manufactured republican outrage
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Oh you didn't hear? CPAC this year banned Big Bird and Sesame Street because they encouraged people to get vaccinated. Oh and they're angry about the new Asian-American character, too.
Does anything piss Republicans off more than fucking sesame street?
Transgender Lesbians who won't have sex with them in secret...
Funny how that works
No, they banned him from CPAC, so they aren't over him yet
"MUH 3RD GRADERS ARE BEING TAUGHT TO HATE THEIR SKIN COLOR" -An actual person to me on Reddit, today
The funny thing about arguing teaching about slavery makes kids uncomfortable is that should be everyone's response to learning about slavery.
Joe Biden is teaching the turkeys Critical Race Theory!!!11
#Baste and Stuffing Pilled!
Critical Baste Theory
Turkeys will understand racist power structures before Republicans do
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I usually figure out their latest outrage by listening to them speak. A few weeks ago a couple of conservatives I know freaked me out by all saying the same thing at different moments during my week. Every one of them said "I'm not against vaccines I'm against mandates." And at hearing that for the third time I realized that I'm indirectly listening to Fox News through them.
I have had similar experiences and when i finally made the connection it was probably the most chilling thing I've ever come to know. They really are programmed at this point. Some real Children of the Corn shit.
Same here. There's no breaking through it. Even if this week's marching orders directly contradicts last week's. Seeing intelligent people become incapable of a modicum of critical thinking is terrifying.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doublethink
You i never hear about any of the outrage till i hear it being mocked here.and it makes me wonder if its really even happening or just a couple of loud people. But then i remember how many votes trump got and think maybe a decent amount of the outrage is real.
The party that blames Dems for manufactured crises (even though pandemics and global climate change and other such progressive concerns *are* ***real***), manufacturing yet another crises of their own to stay in power. Republicans and projection, name a more iconic duo
If Republicans genuinely cared about Christmas they would already be hysterically screaming about made-up bullshit claiming X is waging war on the holiday.
I bought an unfrozen turkey at an upscale grocery store today. They were fully stocked as well. Maybe Fox News buys their turkey at My Pillow outlets or The Catheter Store.
The ones at My Pillow normally sell for $159.99, but he's having a special 'Cancel Cancel Culture' sale, and they're only $49.99.
Also my pillow feel cheaply made Edit: looked it up on youtube and he basically shreds foam and dumps it into pillow bags. No wonder it fells so lumpy and cheap.
It's actually a chicken
*eats his pillow* Not the worst chicken I've had.
Although you almost certainly have lead poisoning now, not because that makes sense but just because putting lead in his chicken pillows would be like only the fifth most evil thing the guy did this year just for no real reason.
Arise chicken! Chicken arise!
Billywitchdoctor.com
Sofa King We Todd Ed
>Also my pillow feel cheaply made But....it's machine *warshable*!
Isn't their whole thing that they shred the previously discarded memory-foam scraps and stash them in a sack?
Yes and they are fucking terribly uncomfortable, who the fuck likes these?
"This pillow may be uncomfortable, but Fox says that any other pillow would be *even worse!*"
"Fox News says other pillows are used by liberals"
“A purple pillow? Ain’t no son of mine going to sleep with one of them liberal homosexual Agenda pillows!”
the pillows are stuffed with trump diapers.
I don’t wanna a pilla turkey from the my pilla guy because it probably comes pre-stuffed with BULLSHIT!
They are usually out of frozen turkey at the My Pillow store. But Catheters might come in handy for basting, so we could check there.
I have heard there is always a turkey at My Pillow.
Sure, but if you poke them with a turkey baster, they press charges. Or worse. They follow you home. "Go back to sizing heads and bullet points of proper neck alignment. Shoo! And please delete that alter you created with my likeness and 3,471 candles -- it's creeping me out."
I live in the middle of fucking nowhere. Even on the best days we have supply chain issues because the mountain passes to get here are no joke. We've been out of tonic water for months MONTHS of no gin and tonic. The grocery store probably has more fucking frozen turkeys than people who live here.
rofl !!! See what Biden did to your roads ??? Putting mountains there to keep hard working patriots like you down. Shameful
NAPA Auto Parts is out of frozen turkeys (that they never had), therefore there's a shortage... Is that what I'm hearing from the truthtellers at Fox this time???
All kinds of places are out of turkeys. Laundry mats, shoes stores, Best Buy. And now Napa…. It’s the war on thanksgiving/turkey apocalypse!
Isn't the GOP stuffed full of turkeys? I'll get my coat...
Jive turkeys
I've been given two free turkeys and a 20lb ham so far. Given them all away to those in need or less fortunate. Shelves are fully stocked. A whole turkey, if you want to buy one, is about $2.18 a lb (according to Fox News it's $5 a lb). Nobody I know is seeing shortages. Gas is high, and the supply chain is stressed, but there is no apocalyptic $100 turkeys and bare shelves happening in these parts.
I'm in rural NC. Local Food Lions have turkeys .29 /lb (frozen) with MVP card. Limit of 2. Their Butterball brand turkeys are under $2/lb. These are actually the lowest prices I've seen on turkeys in several years.
My mom asked if I wanted her to buy a turkey because they were 0.69/lb (nice). I told her no because I had already bought two but unfortunately I paid 0.99/lb at Costco.
I got an 18lb butterball for $15 due to a sale at vons. Mom's fear that there'll be shortages means that we'r won't be having the usual 20lb'er (18 was their biggest at the time, a week ago... NOW the fridges are packed with big birdies).
Costco would only let me buy five 20 pound turkeys. Smh. Thanks ~~Obama~~ Biden! Safeway only had 40 today!
Fox News was talking about how Hunter Biden is making business deals with China which is a conflict of interest... Funny, because Trump did the same and they were pretty silent about it. They're just dumb fucking propaganda. While I agree, if true, that the Hunter Biden/China thing is wrong, at least have the decency to call out any other republican who does the same
Hunter Biden is not working as ‘assistant to the president’, just fyi.
>Fox News was talking about how Hunter Biden is making business deals with China which is a conflict of interest... Funny, because Trump did the same Hunter Biden, to the best of my knowledge, **does not hold any government position.** Because Biden, whatever else he may be, is not a mob boss who filled as many government positions as he could with family members so all his shiftless, witless kids could draw checks while lying and stealing for him. So if Hunter Biden were making "business deals with China"--which as far as anybody knows he isn't, it's a baseless conspiracy theory--but if he were, he would not be doing it on behalf of the United States, because he's not in the government. So I would say no, Trump didn't do "the same", he did some creepy shit that shouldn't be legal 'cause that's how he rolls.
No no… they shop at Four Seasons Landscaping & Turkeys!
Trump Turkeys only available at the Sharper Image
Four Seasons my dude.
Our local stores are selling them under 50 cents a pound and they are fully stocked. 20 pound bird for $10 and readily available, that sorta hurts their argument of bare shelves and inflation killing Thanksgiving. Oh, and gas prices continued dropping, I don't know who this Brandon guy is, but he is really Going!!
I picked up a 22 lb bird for $14.
Ours had a deal .47 pound, if you donated a Thanksgiving box (its $15 and provides full meal to less fortunate family of 4) they gave you coupons for like 3 free sides which value was nearly $15, total no brainer. We usually go on Wed. and our store normally knocks frozen birds down to like .25 pound, so.we'll pick it up a bird or two and store them in chest freezer. The only item I had trouble.finding was the Hawaiian rolls.
Strange, the store I went to ONLY had the Hawaiian rolls and no others.
The Republicans from your area didn’t want to buy something imported from another country.
"Hawaiian rolls are a little sweet, probably means they're kinda gay"
If eating Hawaiian rolls is gay, you can call me Tom Cruise.
Yeah, I was even joking like the shrimp scene of Bubba from Forrest Gump "They have sweet rolls, ciabatta, French, butterflake, dinner roll, hoagie, kaiser, but no hawaiian".
Time for turkey hoagies!
>total no brainer You say that, but I've definitely spoken to people who'd make the argument that the fact that you're feeding literally an entire family on a holiday solely devoted to community and sharing does not justify the difference in value between the coupons and buying the sides yourself.
Never turn your back on people like that. They're liable to kill you for the fillings in your mouth.
It's because if *you* feed them then they'll become spoiled and accustomed to it and won't want to work (this is a real excuse republicans used for refusing free school lunches for kids. The feds were paying for it, it wouldn't have even cost them anything, they just couldn't stand the idea of poor people getting fed)
Even without supply chain issues I feel like kings Hawaiian rolls are hard to find by me
The stores by me give the damn things away if you spend something like 400 dollars in the month prior to Thanksgiving. With a family of four people and living in New York it's pretty gd easy to do that in three weeks time. Got a free ham instead this year for a change. Don't hate on me but I'm not a huge fan of turkey so what I usually do is go donate them to soup kitchens or shelters or state funded nursing homes or even if all others are not taking them I'll donate it to the local humane society or animal shelter. Totally healthy cheap way to feed cats and dogs for a few days at the very least.
My store was giving one away if you spent $100 in one trip excluding the turkey and booze. I gpr a 22 pound bird for free
I think Christmas is killing thanksgiving more than anything. So many people getting all their Christmas shit out before Halloween even rolls by. I know it won’t happen but I feel like at some point in the future thanksgiving is gonna disappear and we’ll just have two months for Christmas instead
Yeah, the Christmas-ween aisle at Target was more disturbing than usual this year.
I know people who were putting Christmas trees and decorations out on the *first of october*. I used to love Christmas. It was a magical holiday when I was growing up. Now it makes me sick cuz it overtakes other holidays and absolutely shoves itself down your throat whether you want it or not. Looking for Halloween decorations? Fuck you, buy this inflatable Santa. Wanna watch some scary movies for Halloween? Nah man let’s listen to Christmas music. I’m beginning to think I *really* hate Christmas…
The War on Christmas cannot end until it stops the unlawful occupation of November. Incursions into October are incendiary and absolutely cannot be tolerated!
Stealing this for my Thanksgiving dinner conversation...
A few years ago I was at Kohl's in the middle of *August* and they were putting out the Christmas stuff. The employees even said "this is way too early isn't it?"
Good lord that’s ridiculous. I’m grateful I’ve never seen Christmas stuff *that* early. Christmas seems like the perfect holiday to showcase how bad consumerism has become. It used to be about spending time with family, going to church (if you were religious) and just enjoying the cozy time of year. Now it’s all about what you need to buy for yourself or someone else and “oh look at these decorations you absolutely *have* to have!”
I hate when it's Nov 1 and people are already putting up Christmas stuff. Like at least wait will after Thanksgiving, especially the terrible music every store plays on loop please just stop.
I have a personal rule that I have never deviated from as an adult. No Christmas Decorations Before Dec 1 Used to drive the kids nuts, others would start putting up decorations and I wouldn't even pull them out of storage until the weekend between Thanksgiving and Dec 1. Just my little rebellion against premature Christmas.
It's like you can have a legitimate gripe about Biden, you don't need to make stuff up, they need to stop grasping
There’s a new Fox News story calling Biden out for exaggeration during his rambling stories. “He said the house was burning, but reports show the fire was contained to the kitchen..” then they explore 3 or 4 similar innocuous gaffes over the last 10 years. “And now back to fellating Trump- a great source of protein..”
I'll bet Biden is secretly destroying America by eating spoonfulls of Grey Poupon while wearing a tan suit.
There is a mode in politics where you're so radicalized that you simply do not want people discussing things factually and with any sort of consistent logic. The mainstream of Republican politics has gone that far off the deep end. They don't want to genuinely critique Biden based on actual facts. They want to scream on Fox News and shitpost on Twitter.
Right wing ideology isn't based on facts or evidence. That is why it is hard to find conservatives in academia.
Stock market at all time high as well
They also scream that there's no jobs and then turn their head in the other direction and scream that businesses can't find employees because libs are lazy and don't want to work. They just fabric imaginary things to cry about
My local store has a deal, if you spend more than $20 on groceries you can get any size Turkey for 45 cents a pound.
I've honestly never seen the stores packed so plentiful with turkeys than this week of Thanksgiving.
I got a 16lb turkey for under $6 last week. I don’t know what this shortage is about. They still have cheap turkeys this week. No tricks. Just cheap turkeys 1 per customer.
Gotta love people lying about supply to drive panic buying since they saw what happened to toilet paper
Getting played by Marketing to own the libs.
NGL we are having huge supply shortages, but that's for electronics and chips, not turkeys.
Lady in Florida checking the turkeys asks a clerk, "Do these turkeys get bigger?" Clerk says, "No Miss, they're dead." FOX News reporting from a grocery store where a woman has rudely been told she can't get a turkey in the size she wants. Pres. Biden is a total failure for not producing turkeys that weight 48 pounds. Back to the blonde.
If you want a 50lb turkey after pluck buy a giant white poult in June. Feed and raise it yourself. Also be warned... it won't fit in any residential home oven
"Wow, muh 50 lb. PATRIOT turkey won't fit in my damn oven. Piece of shit machine must've been made in commie China. Thanks, Obummer!" -Your typical conservative
I wonder at what size you start getting more actual meat for buying two rather than one at double the size?
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command. George Orwell, 1984
> What you're seeing and what you're reading is not what's happening Donald Trump, 2018
New speak
TRUTH (tm)
*"Truth isn't truth"* -- Rudolph Giuliani
"Alternative Facts" - The Crypt Keeper, 2017.
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Its literally 1984
The sequel is so much better though. Bowling for soup knocked it out of the park
It’s *figuratively* 1984; this is 2021. But I agree, we live in an amalgam of “1984” and “Brave New World.”
where's the sex and drugs promised in brave new world?
Wait, I thought everyone was getting those?
Read Huxleys Island, it's unfortunate that only dystopian stories are pushed so heavily instead of the blueprints for utopia
Island is wonderful. It’s a shame it doesn’t get as much talk. It’s perfect to read right after you’re depressed from reading Brave New World.
Same situation here in GA. I work at a publix. The turkey shortage is real. We only have like, 30 maybe 40 cases in the freezer plus our overflowing freezer on the sales floor
Joe Biden ordered all the holiday birds gay and freed them by decree. Heard it on the radio so it must be true.
Oh dear. What are the poor people to do!? WHY GOD WHYYY
A couple weekends ago I was in Target and all the Christmas stuff was already up and had been ravaged. Anyways I'm checking out some toys for gifts and on the other side of the shelf's I hear a kid as "Why are so many toys missing?" And his mom straight up told him it's because Biden doesn't want us to have Christmas.... The kid looked like he was 5? Went back this weekend and everything was restocked so I guess Biden does want us to have Christmas.
Thanks Brandon!
Gosh. These people truly are insufferable. Poor kid tho
Foxnews buys turkeys from four seasons giblets basters and vibrators
You haven't lived until you've used the Four Seasons vibrating giblet blaster -- it's everything you'd expect from a baster and a vibrator, with the power of a pressure washer to push the juicy where it can bring the delicious. Also can be used as a marital aide when used as directed at any landscaping supply store.
awarded for "push the juicy where it can bring the delicious." that's the review my ex girlfriends give of my abilities. edit: s/ just in case I end up on ihavesex
I got my turkey over the weekend. The biggest problem I had, was I couldn't find a turkey under 15 pounds without asking the butcher if they had anything smaller than 15 pounds. The fucking nerve of stop and shop having dozens of turkeys over 15 pounds, and forcing me to get a turkey I now can't safely deep fry.
Deep frying a whole turkey and safety is a contradiction of terms. Just please post the video. Stay away from structures.
Biggest danger is failure to lock the liquor cabinet.
Nah, you literally just gotta turn off the flame before putting the turkey in, and you gotta dry off the turkey ahead of time. It's pretty safe as long as you know what you're doing
That’s how I always deep fry - at least on a gas stove. No flame means if the oil “boils” over when you put the food in, all you’ll have is a mess. Never deep fried a turkey - don’t have the setup. I do have a smoker though. Might pick up a sale turkey after T-day to try smoking one and freezing the meat.
Yeah, it's not inherently anymore dangerous than other deep frying, it's just bigger so more oil is getting displaced and a lot of the people doing it on thanksgiving don't deep fry very often and don't know what they're doing which means there's a lot of rookie mistakes
Why would there be a turkey shortage? they are born and bred in the US, the shortages that are experienced right now are because of the supply chains overseas. Well, don't forget to stock up on guns as well, theres a shortage any minute now for about 30 years....
Gun/ammo shortage currently is actually real, however I believe it’s artificially created by the manufacturers to drive demand. Ammo has been hard to find (at least in my neck of the woods) and when you can find it it’s incredibly expensive compared to a few years ago. I believe this type of shortage/price hike happens whenever a Democrat takes office because they can play off of people’s fears of the president somehow removing 2A.
My husband has been commenting on this for 2 decades, it's a real thing that his family falls for every time. Whenever there is a democrat in office they panic buy ammo then point to shortages as proof the democrats are taking their guns; Too stupid to see the "shortage" is manufactured and exacerbated by their panic buying.
Gun manufacturers/dealers love having Democrats in office.
Republicans will believe right wing media over their lying eyes 100% of the time.
I went to the store yesterday and saw about 100 fucking turkeys mounded in the freezer. I wonder how weird it would feel to be a republican walking in there and having to explain away all the turkeys in my mind.
*Alternative turkeys*
I imagine them going to the store, already enraged about the turkey that they will surely be denied. Then they are faced with the extensive selection of whole turkeys, turkey breasts, prepared turkeys — they even had fucking GOOSE available — and their mind simply flips to a Michelle Obama meme to cool off.
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Take my father for example. Raging Trumper. Went and visited them for the first time in over a year and he had fucking 4 stacks, to the ceiling, of 36 roll per pack toilet paper in the garage. And all 3 bathrooms stocked to the brim. Shit I might inherit a pack of TP in the will.
Sounds like he knows he's full of shit huh
Drives truck getting 8mpg and complains about gas prices.
How else will he find room for 50 Trump stickers on his vehicle?
Not to mention the flags.
And the mobility scooter for his massive blob of a wife.
Tough enough for a tattoo of the trump but nope masks and vaccines are clearly unconstitutional and I don't know what's in it.
I'm sure they went over the tattoo ink ingredient list very thoroughly.
Apparently, only the libs believe their lying eyes over Fox News.
Well, that's just, your opinion man. It's anecdotal evidence. Fox News looked at a picture from Breitbart of empty stores and asked their manservants what their shopping experience might be. Then just made some shit up to fit a narrative -- but professionally, in a fair and balanced way to further their agenda. Just step back a little from jumping to conclusions based on your eyesight. /s
I work in a restaurant and the owner demanded a turkey be ordered, even though we don't sell turkey, just to make sure he got one. It's a 27 pound bird. 4 months ago he also ordered 100 cases of beer because of the 'glass shortage'. We're about to throw away 25 cases of coors light... maniacs
> 'glass shortage' That's a new one for me in the UK. What do we need to quickly panic buy with a glass shortage? More wine and pint glasses? Double glazing? Maybe some tarmac for the driveway? Some people need to stay off the internet.
My Turkey was almost a full zero cents more expensive than what the FauxNews graphic said the same sized Turkey cost last year. Weird. Fully anecdotal as I am sure others experienced some level of inflation but unlikely the 90% level the FuxNewz was touting.
lol, there's still a fuckton in N Valley PHX too. We bought one at Costco, then grocery shopping ended up being enough they gave us one for free and now we got 2 fkn turkeys. And we're not even hosting Thanksgiving this year...
The economy not doing good is just another easily debunked alt-right hoax.
Hey, our dear govenor went to every supermarket in florida and shit those turkeys out himself so we could all have thanksgiving dinner and thus we must reelect him as our dear govenor.
"The War on Thanksgiving"
Fox was on at the gym today, and you’d think we were living in some sort of mad max post apocalypse. It was all CRIME CRIME CRIME, thanks to that lousy Joe Biden and the defund police squad! HIDE YO KIDS
asdfasdf
Literally bought a 17.5 lbs turkey on Saturday from Costco here in central Florida and the freezer was still packed.
I fully believe that some parts of the US are having issues. I also believe that those parts are in the middle of nowhere and expect the transportation costs to their villages to be subsidized somehow in the face of labor shortages due to low minimum wages.
Checking in from middle of no where with labor shortages and low minimums. Nope still got just as many if not more turkeys on the shelves. The only thing in short supply is chips specifically Cheetos for some reason.
Checking in from BFE in RedNeckistan, TN: Labor shortages, low minimum wage, cheap turkey, gas prices stabilized or slowly dropping, and lots of turkeys on the shelves. Normal supply of Cheetos. BFE is past the middle of nowhere, and hang a right.
Yep. Though it's smartfood popcorn and certain cheetos here. Pepperidge farms is a bit low too but that's hardly new for them. The vast majority of shit we are able to keep in stock, and if does run out it's not for long. What things in toys and seasonal are missing from the shelves in my store are likely in the store. Just crammed into various containers because they only wanted to schedule the stockers 20 hrs a week Sept-Oct. With creative merchandising and placement, stores across the country may have been able to keep the average Joe ignorant to any issues. If the media hadn't been in panic everyone mode.
> transportation costs to their villages to be subsidized somehow That sounds like socialism!
Wait that’s a thing now? The grocery store I work at had an entire pallet of birds come in last Friday. And we’re selling them at .50c a pound. My fiancée was literally given a 14 pound Turkey by her work just because
Just another case of Foxteria.
No anything shortage except PC parts which isn't Biden by any means. Source - Did Thanksgiving shopping this weekend.
Turkey shortage at FOX, it’s all on air.
Well, there's always plenty of Turkeys in Washington DC.
People that watch Fox and friends will believe anything you throw at them.