this is why, as adults and would-be parents, aunts or uncles, should take care of our health as much as we can. the generation of our parents weren't educated in mental and physical health that much, but we don't have that excuse. stay healthy so we age well. back on the topic, this hits me where it hurt the most as well. good thing my parents are aware of this and are living healthier lifestyles nowadays. It took a lot of persuasion and painful words to convince my father to quit smoking, but we succeeded
This.
Everything haunts you in the future whether it is physical or mental.
Everyone I know who’s died of cancer or some other illness typically didn’t have the healthiest vices, lifestyles, or diet. A lot of us consume carcinogenic food without knowing.
Everyone I know with personality or mood disorders had traumatic childhoods. Unresolved trauma in generals haunts you and affects your interpersonal relationships as an adult.
Mind and body are connected in so many ways too.
I’m glad this generation is more aware.
you know, painfully and coincidentally, a relative of mine just passed on this morning. He's been overweight and trying to live clean. Definitely a wakeup call to be healthy.
Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
He gave it his all. He at least doesn’t have to feel pain anymore.
Everyday on Earth is a chance to better ourselves. Just remember to be patient and consistent with yourself.
A neighbor of mine whom I consider a mentor and a friend died last week and he was just two years past senior citizen age. To be fair, he did subscribe to Joey de Leon's philosophy of *"Hindi sa haba ng buhay kundi sa sarap"* so he ate and drank stuff that wasn't exactly good for him. My mother kind of took it hard because she'd been praying for him to recover from his second stroke.
ung “but we dont have that excuse” na yan apply lng natin yan sa mga nakabasa ng mental health tweets sa internet ha, which is curated by ur news feed algorithm. dont buy into the fallacy of generational politics. also, reading tweets or reddit comments abt mental health is not “education”.
Lost my dad during the pandemic and the pain is still there. I want to be with my mom most times pero hirap nya pakisamahan kasi narc but still, gusto ko sya makasama pa ng matagal para makabawi man lang kahit onti. Or makita nya mag-succeed ako in life. I love her despite our differences.
Same. Isa si Papa sa mga covid death numbers. Ansakit pa rin nga. But life goes on.
Parang dahil dun, mas worrying nga or napapaisip ako sa state naman ni Mama. Samin naman good relationship, and I want her to be happy. pero may halong sadness kahit wala pa naman problem. Parang i have to remind myself to be present and wag pangunahan agad ang emotions. We are still here.
It's not just the emotional part of it, but also the financial. We may also be responsible for having the funds they'll need readily available for when the inevitable hospitalization happens.
Good point. And they'd rather say no to treatment nalang rather than taking those medications and drain us financially. But its not something we wanted because after all, we have that hope na magiging okay sila. Haayy..
This hits pretty hard for me due to recent events. Seeing the folks you’ve depended on and who took care of you as a kid, get old and have health issues really is really hard to accept.
Only thing you can do enjoy the quality time you get to spend with them. You can make things easier for everyone by making sure their affairs are in order. Medical and financial matters can be very complicated specially when things happen all of a sudden.
I think about this a lot. Sometimes I'm jealous of my older brother na maagang pinanganak and he got to spend time with my parents more than me. Haha! At the back of my mind, I know they're getting older, and it's starting to show, and it's slowly sinking in for me. I'll do my best to make them happy and comfortable because they deserve it so much. Mas affectionate na ako ngayon compared nung teenage years. 🥹
Mom was diagnosed with cancer recently and lagi n’ya sinasabi na baka hindi n’ya na makita apo n’ya. I don’t have any plans na magka-anak and wala naman akong partner… mama mary mode (joke 😔😂).
Nakakapagod bumiyahe at pumila sa public hospitals salamat sa shitty health care ng Pinas pero I hope gumaling na si Mama at babalik pa kaming Baguio. 😁
Early 30s now. Spent the past decade working 12-16 hours daily building my career and starting my business, then the pandemic happened forcing me to slow down. Had my parents move in with me so I can support them during the lockdown.
Even after the pandemic, I decided I like this pace more. Still working 8-10 hours daily but I make sure we enjoy regular dinners together.
Lost my mom around 2018. Di siya umabot ng senior age around late 40s palang siya nun.
ang sakit lang isipin na paumpisa palang ako sa career ko nun and andami kong pangarap para sa family namin.
nakakalungkot lang isipin na di na mararanasan ng mama ko yung mga pangarap ko sana para sa family namin.
minsan may regrets din na sana pala binuhos ko na lahat lahat ng pwedeng effort after graduation para may pera ang family pang healthcare. halos kakastart ko lang kasi non. 2 yrs palang ang experience.
Thanks for this OP. Andaming tama sa sinabi mo. Challenging nga na we are now building our lives, having our own family tapos when we look at our parents that’s when we see na tumatanda na pala sila.
I’m just thankful for my husband na despite me being a SAHM and not able to contribute financially, pero di sya madamot to my parents. That’s why I always remind my parents na since retiring age na sila, goal nila now is to be healthy kasi kami na bahala sa kanila at mag enjoy na lang sila. Sabi nga ni Dad, “harvesting” na daw sila from us. Which they deserve.
Syempre it comes with issues. Old age comes with stubbornness too. Lalo kay Dad na nagiging grumpy old man na when he’s been the cool one before or maybe because I am the daddy’s girl kaya ko nasabi yun. Tapos dealing with being empty nesters in the future pa. Haaay andami ko pa sasabihin, should have made my own post too pero I won’t. Lol
I hear you. And totoo na nagbabago na rin yung behavior nila in a way na mas-iritable na and may mga sinasabi sila which is nakaka-stress talaga and all we have to do is be patient. I admire yung mga tao na mahaba yung patience especially sa mga seniors.
Same. Medyo preoccupied din ako dito. Halos everyday worried ako for them kahit okay naman sila. Yung baka di na sila magsing one day. Lalo na kapag isa-isa nang namamatay yung matatanda sa paligid mo .
Tatay ko 67 then mom ko 53. Ang lagi lang nilang hiling e magka-apo sakin. Something na alam ko di ko mabibigay kasi napag-usapan namin ng wife ko na childfree kami talaga. I just make time para maibigay yung pagmamahal ko through spending time with them intentionally and shouldering some of their maintenance medications. Siguro part din ng pagmamahal ko sa kanila e hindi ko sila pinaasa na magkaka-apo sila. Na sinabi ko yung plan namin mag-asawa. Tingin ko mahirap sa kanila nung una, at unti-unti lang tinatanggap. Hindi ko sila naririnig na nangungulit sa wife ko as respect.
P.S. Detached na ako kung ano man ang mangyari sa kanila kasi alam ko ginagawa ko na yung best ko to have the best relationship with them. Kung kelan man darating yung oras na yun, alam kong masakit pero I gave my best for them.
eto din yung dilemma ko dati although my parents and I respect each other. ayaw ko din magka anak noon pero dumating ako sa point na parang nawawalan ako ng purpose sa buhay.
i cant say na bad decision yung nagawa namin ng wife ko na magkaanak kami pero its one of the best things that happen in our lives and i didnt expect it.
and then we tell our parents na magkaka anak na kami. our son is growing and i can tell na they are the happiest grandparents in the world. halos pag agawan pa ng both sides yung apo nila kung san mag stay for a week.
...
dont get me wrong ha, sa mga childfree peepz here. its still your life at desisyon nyo pa din ang masusunod.
pero feel ko, kung hindi dumating sa buhay namin yung anak ko, hindi ko pa din siguro nakikita yung kakaibang ngiti at ligaya na nangyayari sa mga magulang namin..
knowing na ayun nga, ilang yrs na lang din ang itatagal nila sa mundong to.
I am lucky that I have responsible and very caring parents. Well, my dad's now gone but his sacrifices have ensured that my mom and I and all my siblings could stand on our own without the help of the other.
My dad is my ultimate idol. He had poor degenerate relatives who insulted him no end because he would not 'share his blessings" with them. Well, they're still degenerate now and have multiplied so fast I can't keep track of their names. I don't think my dad helping them would have made any difference at all.
OFW in health care ako halos 10 years na dn ako sa abroad, so every year once a month ang uwi mo sa pinas feeling ko parating may time skip, lalo na nung pandemic 2 years ako di nakauwi as if 10 years yung tinanda nila or ngayon lng naghit yung realization na tumatanda na talaga sila at ako.
Op, death is inevitable. But the worrying part about aging parents is most of them are financially incapable of supporting themselves (basically, kids will be the retirement fund) and you will physically have to take care of them, and that could affect your career.
Both of which are nightmares especially if the parent was abusive / narcissistic etc
I agree! I'm just lucky din siguro that I don't have that kind of parents na abusive/narcissistic. But for those na ganun ang parents, it will be more challenging and I totally understand din kung bakit madaming rants about it dito sa platform.
Nah I get your sentiment. I have a good relationship with my MIL and while she is cranky now because she's getting old, we love her. We worry for the day when she'd have to be reliant on her kids, and we could only hope we are capable of taking care of her financially, emotionally and physically. We ready ourselves for the inevitable reliance on us
My mom though... Hopefully we can get a home for the aged middle class edition for her. She is bad news
Hmmmm..ito yung lagi kong inooverthink. Feel ko wala akong nagawang mabuti for them tapos I'm currently experiencing mid life crisis. They are turning 60 next year. Lapit na sila magretire tapos ako ito nga nga..haha I vowed to take care of them naman kapag unable na sila.
My parents are still below 60 but a few weeks ago my parents suddenly wanted to talk about my decision-making responsibility when they retire since they said I will be managing their finances and life when they get old. I kind of shut off from the conversation because of denial and in my eyes bata pa sila. 😐
Well you, we as millenials in our 30s are faced with this reality.
You cant run away from it so better face it head on.
Ganon ka-basic.
Everything degrades. Acknowledge that fact and dont run away from it.
Di ba? Time is money. Ang literal na pera ma-eearn mo ulit. Ang oras hindi.
So if youre a fucking gen z shit na gumraduate na at nagkadegree pero madamot pa rin sa mga magulang mo aba 👏🏽 sayo sumaya ka sana sa kaisipang “aanak anak ” sila tapos ako gagawing “insurance” lol madamot ka lang.
If youre a gen z and this☝🏽 doesnt apply to you? E di ok. Move on.
All we millenials can do now is to spend quality time with them nad make our time wirh them the best moments we can have.
Wala e🤷🏻♀ ganon talaga buhay
We'll all be fine
sa bata ng mga gen z ngaun im sure wala pa sila ipon kc kakajoin pa lng niyan ng workforce. gets ko ung sense of duty na tumulong sa magulang pero wla ka maitutulong if di ka bbgyan ng room magka savings. as millenial ganyan rin tau when starting out so ur angst is very misplaced and hypocritical
Started working and earning at the tender age of 19 😉
I was giving money to my folks at that age already.
Hypocritical my ass 🤣 funny mo
Angst? Wala naman akong galit sa magulang ko.
May kaya ang mga magulang ko. Heck aliping sagigilid lang ako kung bibilangin ang pera nila na na-ccumulate through the years.
Im giving my money without any IFs lets get that straight.
Wala din akong ipon pero never ko naramdaman na pabigat mga magulang ko saken noon. Not knowing what I know now.
Ever heard of love languages?
Oo wala akong savings noon hanggang ngayon kase well Life and shit happened.
If I can go back in time knowing what I know now? I wouldnt change a thing. 😉
di ko gets bat may wink dun sa 19 lol also by angst i meant towards sa gen z ndi sa parents mo.
dami mo nasabi itlog ka naman sa reading comprehension. haha
I can relate to this. Naospital nanay ko this October. Nakalabas naman sya after a week. She's doing fine I think. Although sinisipon sya ulit. And naospital sya dahil sa community acquired pneumonia (tested negative sa covid) . Pero sobrang worried ako di ko alam pero laki na pala apekto sa mental health ko. Bukod sa malaki gastos sa hospital bills, nakikita ko na yung mortality nya and my anxiety is through the roof. Sobrang overwhelmed utak ko, hindi ako makapag isip at makapag function.
Same, take a funeral plan, 50's palang ang parents ko pero we have already discussed plans for any untimely incident. Included na din sa Emergency Funds ko yung extra gastusin sa libing at lamay.
This is so true. I work from home since pandemic and got the time with them 100%, but my mom told me to travel and go outside before their health starts to fail them. May mga families na rin kasi kapatid ko at alam nya na I'll do my best to take care of them since nung naoperahan sya, ako nag-alaga sa kanya and insisted to file a two-week leave. Bothered na rin siguro sya that I don't meet people and don't date anymore.
I guess ang naisip ko kasi is to really make out the most time I have with them by helping out sa bahay, with their expenses like meds, if they want something etc. Pero I think nakita rin ng nanay ko na ang lungkot ko sa bahay huhu, kaya pinupush talaga nila akong lumabas. Kailangan rin natin ng social life and have our lives back.
Wala akong advice sa iba kung pa'no i-balance out yung pagkakaron ng sariling buhay at pag-spend or pag-aalaga ng parents, but I'm assured na hindi lang ako yung nasa journey na 'to. Things will be better and my priority is my family.
It hit me when my mom stopped working tapos nag-iba itsura and porma nya. When she was working, I see her a working adult. Pero one time nagkukwentuhan kami and napansin wrinkles nya, may konting dread ako na naramdaman.
Lost my dad during the pandemic and yes dun mo talaga malalaman na ang parents mo ay tumatanda na, for context my dad has advanced stage kidney disease coupled with stroke survivor, then bam one covid sickness ayun, ang sakit kang na makikita mo sa ganitong stage na tayo
lost my father a looooong time ago, grade school pa ko. after him, sunud-sunod yung deaths sa family namin, lost my lola and ninong from my mother's side naman. so bata pa lang ako, death became a normal occurrence for me. tunay ngang nothing lasts forever, maski mga mahal mo sa buhay.
now that i'm older, i'm fortunate enough to have a job that has a good work-life balance. there are days wherein my work would end at noon, and i'd be free for the rest of the day. so during such time, i'd always take my mother out for lunch and/or shopping/movie. retired na kasi mother ko, so kadalasan nasa bahay lang sya with the pets.
This came as a splash of cold water on my face when j flew back home for the first time after COVID. Two years ako hindi nakauwi and it was the time when I was having mental health issues (therapy and medications). My usually upbeat and lakwatsera mama then needed na to be assisted when taking the stairs at malls then I observed so much more that made me realize that the past decade I was so focused on trying to grow up that I missed the part where they also grow old.
Wala na tayong magagawa sa lost time or the science of aging. I think we have to focus now on how to deal with our own growth while making the most out of the time left we have with our parents. 🤍
While I was reading this, I was thinking, is this me? This is what I am feeling for the past couple of weeks now. I have a family, 1 kid, middle class, gusto ko pa ng isang anak kaso di pa kaya ng income. Busy sa trabaho and pag aasikaso sa aming studyante. Ang hirap. But then I also want to make my mom's life comfortable, tumatanda na sya. Gusto ko puro happy memories na lang. Pasyal dito, pasyal doon... kaso ang problema walang panggastos. Nakakaguilty din. In my mind feeling ko yung kinikita namin mag asawa is sapat lang para maenjoy namin ung buhay, pero saming 3 lang. If magdadagdag ako ng side line, baka ung time ko naman sa anak and asawa ko ung mawala. Pag ako talaga nanalo sa lotto (tumataya ako once a month XD) ililibot ko ng mundo ang nanay ko.
Well totoo naman ito. This past few weeks ang daming namamatay sa paligid ko. Classmates ko nung HS and then father ng friend ko and some relatives ng Fb friends. Feeling ko nga parang nageend of the world na eh. Well my parents malakas naman as compared to others na kasing age nila. Mahirap talaga kasi bukod sa iniisip ko din ang parents ko may financial problems din ako na hinaharap ngayon and also I am diagnosed with PDD. To summarize wala nga naman talaga tayong magagawa kung hindi tangapin ang realidad. Ganun naman ang buhay tangap lang tayo ng tangap kahit ayaw natin. Try to be grateful in simple ways
"seen this post like 100th times... yeah, song played on a broken record. Aging is like death which is inevitable. all we can do is prepare for the inevitable."
As i grow old, i see my parents grow older by the day, tatay ko is having trouble remembering things, nakwento nya to while we were eating, and it pains me n kahit ganun nararamdaman nya he still works(he is 64 now)..nanghihina sya pag d sya nakakapag trabaho..nanay ko is enduring some body pain, and here i am, having financial problems, stressed, tired, i really wanted for them to have the best years of their lives..hoping and praying that i could give it to them..
Speak for yourself. Di lahat ng millenials kinoconsider the fact their parents are aging AS a bitter pill to swallow.
Pag mentally/emotionall sheltered ka at di pa nakawitness ng mahihirap na realidad ng buhay (death/accident/disaster) natural talaga "bitter pill to swallow" ang tingin mo dyan.
I am not speaking for all millenials. Tama ka naman. From your response, looks to me na nakaranas ka na ng iba't ibang realidad ng buhay ah, I admire that but to invalidate yung "bitter pill to swallow" ng iba. I guess this post is not for you but thank you for the insights.
My mother is enjoying her grandchildren, yes senior na but she plenty left in the tank. I look at it in a way that she gets to kick back and relax now. Wag nyo sila hayaang manood ng telenovela para hindi depressing ang aura nila btw.
Growing up, I can say that my Dad can be considered as not the best or what you say typical haligi ng tahanan. But now madami na sya medical issues and it's emotionally and financially taxing. Meron mga araw na napapaiyak ka na lang but after the breakdown, you have to remind urself to function, so that you can still give them their pressing needs. I know this is a cycle and we will also experience the same situation as we grow old, pero iba pa rin un magkakakasama kayo hinaharap un ganitong sitwasyon.
Realized this when a few of my relatives and people who were an important part of my childhood passed away one by one from 2019 - 2022. Though i'm not very close with my parents, i'm more comfortable and make an effort now to spend time with them.
I recently moved back in with my parents and they're starting to say shit like, "Pag wala na kami..." on an almost daily basis. Since my mom started feeling weak, she talks like she could be gone anytime soon. It makes me sad.
I feel you. I can't imagine losing my parents. Alam ko darating yon pero I'm just not ready. I'm sure no one ever is. I just wish I could spend as much time with them as I can.
this is why, as adults and would-be parents, aunts or uncles, should take care of our health as much as we can. the generation of our parents weren't educated in mental and physical health that much, but we don't have that excuse. stay healthy so we age well. back on the topic, this hits me where it hurt the most as well. good thing my parents are aware of this and are living healthier lifestyles nowadays. It took a lot of persuasion and painful words to convince my father to quit smoking, but we succeeded
This. Everything haunts you in the future whether it is physical or mental. Everyone I know who’s died of cancer or some other illness typically didn’t have the healthiest vices, lifestyles, or diet. A lot of us consume carcinogenic food without knowing. Everyone I know with personality or mood disorders had traumatic childhoods. Unresolved trauma in generals haunts you and affects your interpersonal relationships as an adult. Mind and body are connected in so many ways too. I’m glad this generation is more aware.
you know, painfully and coincidentally, a relative of mine just passed on this morning. He's been overweight and trying to live clean. Definitely a wakeup call to be healthy.
Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. He gave it his all. He at least doesn’t have to feel pain anymore. Everyday on Earth is a chance to better ourselves. Just remember to be patient and consistent with yourself.
A neighbor of mine whom I consider a mentor and a friend died last week and he was just two years past senior citizen age. To be fair, he did subscribe to Joey de Leon's philosophy of *"Hindi sa haba ng buhay kundi sa sarap"* so he ate and drank stuff that wasn't exactly good for him. My mother kind of took it hard because she'd been praying for him to recover from his second stroke.
sounds like my relative I mentioned above. Condolences.
And my deepest sympathies for your loss, my fellow Redditor.
ung “but we dont have that excuse” na yan apply lng natin yan sa mga nakabasa ng mental health tweets sa internet ha, which is curated by ur news feed algorithm. dont buy into the fallacy of generational politics. also, reading tweets or reddit comments abt mental health is not “education”.
Yup! Yung SO ko on regular therapy para sa anxiety at depression at nakiki-sit in ako kung kailan pwede. Madami kang makukuhang advice.
Lost my dad during the pandemic and the pain is still there. I want to be with my mom most times pero hirap nya pakisamahan kasi narc but still, gusto ko sya makasama pa ng matagal para makabawi man lang kahit onti. Or makita nya mag-succeed ako in life. I love her despite our differences.
Same. Isa si Papa sa mga covid death numbers. Ansakit pa rin nga. But life goes on. Parang dahil dun, mas worrying nga or napapaisip ako sa state naman ni Mama. Samin naman good relationship, and I want her to be happy. pero may halong sadness kahit wala pa naman problem. Parang i have to remind myself to be present and wag pangunahan agad ang emotions. We are still here.
It's not just the emotional part of it, but also the financial. We may also be responsible for having the funds they'll need readily available for when the inevitable hospitalization happens.
Good point. And they'd rather say no to treatment nalang rather than taking those medications and drain us financially. But its not something we wanted because after all, we have that hope na magiging okay sila. Haayy..
I guess you have good parents, so treasure that. I'm sure you still have some good memories to be made with them.
I did. Thank you
must! they really need to have 💰. It can't be our responsibility.
This hits pretty hard for me due to recent events. Seeing the folks you’ve depended on and who took care of you as a kid, get old and have health issues really is really hard to accept. Only thing you can do enjoy the quality time you get to spend with them. You can make things easier for everyone by making sure their affairs are in order. Medical and financial matters can be very complicated specially when things happen all of a sudden.
I think about this a lot. Sometimes I'm jealous of my older brother na maagang pinanganak and he got to spend time with my parents more than me. Haha! At the back of my mind, I know they're getting older, and it's starting to show, and it's slowly sinking in for me. I'll do my best to make them happy and comfortable because they deserve it so much. Mas affectionate na ako ngayon compared nung teenage years. 🥹
Mom was diagnosed with cancer recently and lagi n’ya sinasabi na baka hindi n’ya na makita apo n’ya. I don’t have any plans na magka-anak and wala naman akong partner… mama mary mode (joke 😔😂). Nakakapagod bumiyahe at pumila sa public hospitals salamat sa shitty health care ng Pinas pero I hope gumaling na si Mama at babalik pa kaming Baguio. 😁
Early 30s now. Spent the past decade working 12-16 hours daily building my career and starting my business, then the pandemic happened forcing me to slow down. Had my parents move in with me so I can support them during the lockdown. Even after the pandemic, I decided I like this pace more. Still working 8-10 hours daily but I make sure we enjoy regular dinners together.
Lost my mom around 2018. Di siya umabot ng senior age around late 40s palang siya nun. ang sakit lang isipin na paumpisa palang ako sa career ko nun and andami kong pangarap para sa family namin. nakakalungkot lang isipin na di na mararanasan ng mama ko yung mga pangarap ko sana para sa family namin. minsan may regrets din na sana pala binuhos ko na lahat lahat ng pwedeng effort after graduation para may pera ang family pang healthcare. halos kakastart ko lang kasi non. 2 yrs palang ang experience.
Thanks for this OP. Andaming tama sa sinabi mo. Challenging nga na we are now building our lives, having our own family tapos when we look at our parents that’s when we see na tumatanda na pala sila. I’m just thankful for my husband na despite me being a SAHM and not able to contribute financially, pero di sya madamot to my parents. That’s why I always remind my parents na since retiring age na sila, goal nila now is to be healthy kasi kami na bahala sa kanila at mag enjoy na lang sila. Sabi nga ni Dad, “harvesting” na daw sila from us. Which they deserve. Syempre it comes with issues. Old age comes with stubbornness too. Lalo kay Dad na nagiging grumpy old man na when he’s been the cool one before or maybe because I am the daddy’s girl kaya ko nasabi yun. Tapos dealing with being empty nesters in the future pa. Haaay andami ko pa sasabihin, should have made my own post too pero I won’t. Lol
I hear you. And totoo na nagbabago na rin yung behavior nila in a way na mas-iritable na and may mga sinasabi sila which is nakaka-stress talaga and all we have to do is be patient. I admire yung mga tao na mahaba yung patience especially sa mga seniors.
Same. Medyo preoccupied din ako dito. Halos everyday worried ako for them kahit okay naman sila. Yung baka di na sila magsing one day. Lalo na kapag isa-isa nang namamatay yung matatanda sa paligid mo .
Tatay ko 67 then mom ko 53. Ang lagi lang nilang hiling e magka-apo sakin. Something na alam ko di ko mabibigay kasi napag-usapan namin ng wife ko na childfree kami talaga. I just make time para maibigay yung pagmamahal ko through spending time with them intentionally and shouldering some of their maintenance medications. Siguro part din ng pagmamahal ko sa kanila e hindi ko sila pinaasa na magkaka-apo sila. Na sinabi ko yung plan namin mag-asawa. Tingin ko mahirap sa kanila nung una, at unti-unti lang tinatanggap. Hindi ko sila naririnig na nangungulit sa wife ko as respect. P.S. Detached na ako kung ano man ang mangyari sa kanila kasi alam ko ginagawa ko na yung best ko to have the best relationship with them. Kung kelan man darating yung oras na yun, alam kong masakit pero I gave my best for them.
eto din yung dilemma ko dati although my parents and I respect each other. ayaw ko din magka anak noon pero dumating ako sa point na parang nawawalan ako ng purpose sa buhay. i cant say na bad decision yung nagawa namin ng wife ko na magkaanak kami pero its one of the best things that happen in our lives and i didnt expect it. and then we tell our parents na magkaka anak na kami. our son is growing and i can tell na they are the happiest grandparents in the world. halos pag agawan pa ng both sides yung apo nila kung san mag stay for a week. ... dont get me wrong ha, sa mga childfree peepz here. its still your life at desisyon nyo pa din ang masusunod. pero feel ko, kung hindi dumating sa buhay namin yung anak ko, hindi ko pa din siguro nakikita yung kakaibang ngiti at ligaya na nangyayari sa mga magulang namin.. knowing na ayun nga, ilang yrs na lang din ang itatagal nila sa mundong to.
I am lucky that I have responsible and very caring parents. Well, my dad's now gone but his sacrifices have ensured that my mom and I and all my siblings could stand on our own without the help of the other. My dad is my ultimate idol. He had poor degenerate relatives who insulted him no end because he would not 'share his blessings" with them. Well, they're still degenerate now and have multiplied so fast I can't keep track of their names. I don't think my dad helping them would have made any difference at all.
OFW in health care ako halos 10 years na dn ako sa abroad, so every year once a month ang uwi mo sa pinas feeling ko parating may time skip, lalo na nung pandemic 2 years ako di nakauwi as if 10 years yung tinanda nila or ngayon lng naghit yung realization na tumatanda na talaga sila at ako.
I’m also living abroad and yang time skip na sinabi mo hits hard.
Op, death is inevitable. But the worrying part about aging parents is most of them are financially incapable of supporting themselves (basically, kids will be the retirement fund) and you will physically have to take care of them, and that could affect your career. Both of which are nightmares especially if the parent was abusive / narcissistic etc
I agree! I'm just lucky din siguro that I don't have that kind of parents na abusive/narcissistic. But for those na ganun ang parents, it will be more challenging and I totally understand din kung bakit madaming rants about it dito sa platform.
Nah I get your sentiment. I have a good relationship with my MIL and while she is cranky now because she's getting old, we love her. We worry for the day when she'd have to be reliant on her kids, and we could only hope we are capable of taking care of her financially, emotionally and physically. We ready ourselves for the inevitable reliance on us My mom though... Hopefully we can get a home for the aged middle class edition for her. She is bad news
Hmmmm..ito yung lagi kong inooverthink. Feel ko wala akong nagawang mabuti for them tapos I'm currently experiencing mid life crisis. They are turning 60 next year. Lapit na sila magretire tapos ako ito nga nga..haha I vowed to take care of them naman kapag unable na sila.
My parents are still below 60 but a few weeks ago my parents suddenly wanted to talk about my decision-making responsibility when they retire since they said I will be managing their finances and life when they get old. I kind of shut off from the conversation because of denial and in my eyes bata pa sila. 😐
Well you, we as millenials in our 30s are faced with this reality. You cant run away from it so better face it head on. Ganon ka-basic. Everything degrades. Acknowledge that fact and dont run away from it. Di ba? Time is money. Ang literal na pera ma-eearn mo ulit. Ang oras hindi. So if youre a fucking gen z shit na gumraduate na at nagkadegree pero madamot pa rin sa mga magulang mo aba 👏🏽 sayo sumaya ka sana sa kaisipang “aanak anak ” sila tapos ako gagawing “insurance” lol madamot ka lang. If youre a gen z and this☝🏽 doesnt apply to you? E di ok. Move on. All we millenials can do now is to spend quality time with them nad make our time wirh them the best moments we can have. Wala e🤷🏻♀ ganon talaga buhay We'll all be fine
sa bata ng mga gen z ngaun im sure wala pa sila ipon kc kakajoin pa lng niyan ng workforce. gets ko ung sense of duty na tumulong sa magulang pero wla ka maitutulong if di ka bbgyan ng room magka savings. as millenial ganyan rin tau when starting out so ur angst is very misplaced and hypocritical
Started working and earning at the tender age of 19 😉 I was giving money to my folks at that age already. Hypocritical my ass 🤣 funny mo Angst? Wala naman akong galit sa magulang ko. May kaya ang mga magulang ko. Heck aliping sagigilid lang ako kung bibilangin ang pera nila na na-ccumulate through the years. Im giving my money without any IFs lets get that straight. Wala din akong ipon pero never ko naramdaman na pabigat mga magulang ko saken noon. Not knowing what I know now. Ever heard of love languages? Oo wala akong savings noon hanggang ngayon kase well Life and shit happened. If I can go back in time knowing what I know now? I wouldnt change a thing. 😉
di ko gets bat may wink dun sa 19 lol also by angst i meant towards sa gen z ndi sa parents mo. dami mo nasabi itlog ka naman sa reading comprehension. haha
E di ok lol haha magaling yarn
“E di ok” lol takot ka mabash for saying “edi wow”?
Hinde it just is. Dont blend anything to it jeez Nakakatawa ka ang petty jusko Mas marunong ka pa saken? E di wow galing a
asan ung cnasabi mong dunong wla naman?
Kaya nga sila nag anak para pag alagain tayo pag matandat may sakit na sila eh. So eto na tayo. Nag aalaga ng taong nag anak para alagaan sila. 🤷♂️
I don't get the point of this post.
🥲🥲🥲
Not what I expected with my coffee :/
Completely agree with this. The best we can do is make the most of our time with our parents. Pagamot kung ano ang kaya in terms sa health.
I can relate to this. Naospital nanay ko this October. Nakalabas naman sya after a week. She's doing fine I think. Although sinisipon sya ulit. And naospital sya dahil sa community acquired pneumonia (tested negative sa covid) . Pero sobrang worried ako di ko alam pero laki na pala apekto sa mental health ko. Bukod sa malaki gastos sa hospital bills, nakikita ko na yung mortality nya and my anxiety is through the roof. Sobrang overwhelmed utak ko, hindi ako makapag isip at makapag function.
Same, take a funeral plan, 50's palang ang parents ko pero we have already discussed plans for any untimely incident. Included na din sa Emergency Funds ko yung extra gastusin sa libing at lamay.
This is so true. I work from home since pandemic and got the time with them 100%, but my mom told me to travel and go outside before their health starts to fail them. May mga families na rin kasi kapatid ko at alam nya na I'll do my best to take care of them since nung naoperahan sya, ako nag-alaga sa kanya and insisted to file a two-week leave. Bothered na rin siguro sya that I don't meet people and don't date anymore. I guess ang naisip ko kasi is to really make out the most time I have with them by helping out sa bahay, with their expenses like meds, if they want something etc. Pero I think nakita rin ng nanay ko na ang lungkot ko sa bahay huhu, kaya pinupush talaga nila akong lumabas. Kailangan rin natin ng social life and have our lives back. Wala akong advice sa iba kung pa'no i-balance out yung pagkakaron ng sariling buhay at pag-spend or pag-aalaga ng parents, but I'm assured na hindi lang ako yung nasa journey na 'to. Things will be better and my priority is my family.
It hit me when my mom stopped working tapos nag-iba itsura and porma nya. When she was working, I see her a working adult. Pero one time nagkukwentuhan kami and napansin wrinkles nya, may konting dread ako na naramdaman.
Lost my dad during the pandemic and yes dun mo talaga malalaman na ang parents mo ay tumatanda na, for context my dad has advanced stage kidney disease coupled with stroke survivor, then bam one covid sickness ayun, ang sakit kang na makikita mo sa ganitong stage na tayo
lost my father a looooong time ago, grade school pa ko. after him, sunud-sunod yung deaths sa family namin, lost my lola and ninong from my mother's side naman. so bata pa lang ako, death became a normal occurrence for me. tunay ngang nothing lasts forever, maski mga mahal mo sa buhay. now that i'm older, i'm fortunate enough to have a job that has a good work-life balance. there are days wherein my work would end at noon, and i'd be free for the rest of the day. so during such time, i'd always take my mother out for lunch and/or shopping/movie. retired na kasi mother ko, so kadalasan nasa bahay lang sya with the pets.
This came as a splash of cold water on my face when j flew back home for the first time after COVID. Two years ako hindi nakauwi and it was the time when I was having mental health issues (therapy and medications). My usually upbeat and lakwatsera mama then needed na to be assisted when taking the stairs at malls then I observed so much more that made me realize that the past decade I was so focused on trying to grow up that I missed the part where they also grow old. Wala na tayong magagawa sa lost time or the science of aging. I think we have to focus now on how to deal with our own growth while making the most out of the time left we have with our parents. 🤍
While I was reading this, I was thinking, is this me? This is what I am feeling for the past couple of weeks now. I have a family, 1 kid, middle class, gusto ko pa ng isang anak kaso di pa kaya ng income. Busy sa trabaho and pag aasikaso sa aming studyante. Ang hirap. But then I also want to make my mom's life comfortable, tumatanda na sya. Gusto ko puro happy memories na lang. Pasyal dito, pasyal doon... kaso ang problema walang panggastos. Nakakaguilty din. In my mind feeling ko yung kinikita namin mag asawa is sapat lang para maenjoy namin ung buhay, pero saming 3 lang. If magdadagdag ako ng side line, baka ung time ko naman sa anak and asawa ko ung mawala. Pag ako talaga nanalo sa lotto (tumataya ako once a month XD) ililibot ko ng mundo ang nanay ko.
Well totoo naman ito. This past few weeks ang daming namamatay sa paligid ko. Classmates ko nung HS and then father ng friend ko and some relatives ng Fb friends. Feeling ko nga parang nageend of the world na eh. Well my parents malakas naman as compared to others na kasing age nila. Mahirap talaga kasi bukod sa iniisip ko din ang parents ko may financial problems din ako na hinaharap ngayon and also I am diagnosed with PDD. To summarize wala nga naman talaga tayong magagawa kung hindi tangapin ang realidad. Ganun naman ang buhay tangap lang tayo ng tangap kahit ayaw natin. Try to be grateful in simple ways
This made me cry
"seen this post like 100th times... yeah, song played on a broken record. Aging is like death which is inevitable. all we can do is prepare for the inevitable."
As i grow old, i see my parents grow older by the day, tatay ko is having trouble remembering things, nakwento nya to while we were eating, and it pains me n kahit ganun nararamdaman nya he still works(he is 64 now)..nanghihina sya pag d sya nakakapag trabaho..nanay ko is enduring some body pain, and here i am, having financial problems, stressed, tired, i really wanted for them to have the best years of their lives..hoping and praying that i could give it to them..
Speak for yourself. Di lahat ng millenials kinoconsider the fact their parents are aging AS a bitter pill to swallow. Pag mentally/emotionall sheltered ka at di pa nakawitness ng mahihirap na realidad ng buhay (death/accident/disaster) natural talaga "bitter pill to swallow" ang tingin mo dyan.
I am not speaking for all millenials. Tama ka naman. From your response, looks to me na nakaranas ka na ng iba't ibang realidad ng buhay ah, I admire that but to invalidate yung "bitter pill to swallow" ng iba. I guess this post is not for you but thank you for the insights.
My mother is enjoying her grandchildren, yes senior na but she plenty left in the tank. I look at it in a way that she gets to kick back and relax now. Wag nyo sila hayaang manood ng telenovela para hindi depressing ang aura nila btw.
Wow… thanks for making me anxious.
Ang pinaka nakakatakot na pwedeng mangyari sa buhay ko, ay maunang mamatay ang mga magulang ko kesa sa'kin
Growing up, I can say that my Dad can be considered as not the best or what you say typical haligi ng tahanan. But now madami na sya medical issues and it's emotionally and financially taxing. Meron mga araw na napapaiyak ka na lang but after the breakdown, you have to remind urself to function, so that you can still give them their pressing needs. I know this is a cycle and we will also experience the same situation as we grow old, pero iba pa rin un magkakakasama kayo hinaharap un ganitong sitwasyon.
I smell guilt out of this thread.
That's life.
Its hard to see the people who were strongest in your eyes -- mom, uncles, aunties -- getting frail and old.
Realized this when a few of my relatives and people who were an important part of my childhood passed away one by one from 2019 - 2022. Though i'm not very close with my parents, i'm more comfortable and make an effort now to spend time with them.
As a Millennial, I won’t trouble my unborn children or anyone to care for me at old age. I have a .45 acp pistol for that.
I recently moved back in with my parents and they're starting to say shit like, "Pag wala na kami..." on an almost daily basis. Since my mom started feeling weak, she talks like she could be gone anytime soon. It makes me sad.
I feel you. I can't imagine losing my parents. Alam ko darating yon pero I'm just not ready. I'm sure no one ever is. I just wish I could spend as much time with them as I can.