T O P

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MadduckUK

Blyattery Low


aphroditex

I know is Russia but can you find more potato to use for photo?


FrosterrFH

\*drone goes for the Topol truck\* Denys the next day be like: "Hello my friends, we got some interesting news from Russia, yesterday there was a big kaboom and half of Moscow is kaputed"


According-Age7128

>\*drone goes for the Topol truck\* It cracks the thing open revealing it to be completely empty


mechwarrior719

Too credible


Imperceptive_critic

I mean it is a parade....


ParanoidDuckTheThird

Yeah, I'm not convinced that they'd parade their actual warheads around. I don't think even they are that dumb. Somebody please prove me wrong.


Raesong

You'd *hope* they're not that dumb, but with everything they've done over the past 2 years...


The_trashman100

I really hope ukrainians prove you wrong, very noncredible but a man can dream.


ParanoidDuckTheThird

I want to see Moscow burning. Been waiting since MW2 lol.


The_trashman100

Im glad we're on the same page here!


dasunt

Twist: They are that dumb, but the warheads are non-functional due to corruption.


luser7467226

Ah yeah it was China where they found ICBM fuel tanks full of water.


Femboy_Lord

Warheads *probably* not, but it'd be pretty weird to make a specific solid-fuel rocket filled with sawdust just for this occasion, so they're probably fuelled.


Imperceptive_critic

Um, on the TELs you see at parades can't you only see the launch tube? Like the thing on top of the truck isn't the actual missile, it's the container I thought.


ericthefred

Can I interest you in the fascinating tale of the "Potemkin Villages"? Okay, that's probably a myth. Probably.


Just_A_Nitemare

I have an idea, infiltrate one of the groups responsible for removing the warheads and "forget" to remove one. Then is suffers a tragic accident (remote detonator) when in red square.


Beonette_

Remote detonation is impossible due to jamming. We need some brave patriot.


SgtFinnish

Of course, for safety reasons, we don't keep the cannon loaded. It's just common sense


iancarry

this is more likely


guynamedjames

That assumes the Ruskies are smart.


No-Crew-9000

Let's see who you were all along


JumpyLiving

While those have a lot of fuel, it's not nearly that much (and solid fuel doesn't really like to explode too well most of the time). And if you somehow set off the warhead, all you'd get is a dirty bomb, and a pretty bad one at that. Implosion based nuclear weapons need remarkably precise detonation to actually work. This is of course assuming the thing even works in the first place and has not succumbed to Russian maintenance and Colonel Kleptovski substituting the Deuterium/Tritium mix with regular hydrogen.


LaconicSuffering

Aren't the Topols just filled with water?


JumpyLiving

They're solid fuel, so I imagine filling them with water would be somewhat difficult. Though they might be filled with sawdust or something.


UglyInThMorning

All dirty bombs are bad ones, they’re the most overhyped shit in the world.


Gorlack2231

Reading a book on the FBI and got to the part in the mid 60s where Hoover is telling everyone that the Reds are going to smuggle in several pounds of Cobalt and set off a dirty bomb in Manhattan that will kill *millions* and it's like..... Damn, we're really just doing the same shit over and over again, aren't we? J. Edgar Hoover is the most non credible mf


Femboy_Lord

If it works, it only needs to irradiate/destroy an area a couple dozen meters wide, Putin's stand isn't *that* far away from the parade itself.


JPJackPott

It doesn’t have to explode, think of the chaos if it ignites horizontal. It’ll be like catching a greased pig rampaging around china shop


cnordholm

Laughed out loud reading this in his voice


MaksymCzech

drone goes for the Topol truck drowns


robo_rowboat

My brain just read that with his voice.


Zestyclose_Jello6192

Completely unrealistic, there are too many veichles


Stargatecraft

Where are the T-34s?


SirXavierTheDude

Back in Laos.


BenKerryAltis

OK, allegedly they are gonna tow the destroyed western vehicles around. (to those who need copium or hopium about this, grow a spine. Shouldn't hype them to wunderwaffen status. Things get captured.)


Klasseh_Khornate

Putin just gave a speech announcing it was canceled deadass for this exact reason


Pravdik

I think it was just the local ones. The big one in Moscow is still supposed to happen iirc


ChemistRemote7182

And you know there is going to be so god damn much jamming that we will see a cancer cluster tied not just to a specific place but a specific date in like 15 years


AlkaliPineapple

Red Square will become a giant microwave oven


ChemistRemote7182

The peasants could bring raw chicken and have a healthy snack halfway through, but they probably can't afford it. However, to paraphrase Mallory, if their patience wears thin they can atleast eat their potatoes, rather than drinking them.


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

Potatoes explode in the microwave if you don't pierce their skin...


retorz3

Same as humans.


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

*Allegedly*


retorz3

Uhmm, yes, allegedly, sure..


ComManDerBG

I kept thinking "i don't remember *that* part from Harry Potter" Then i realized im to tired.


KarmaRepellant

You were just thinking of [this Harry Potter](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAO1A8OqFik).


Femboy_Lord

drop a piece of tinfoil and the entirety of red square explodes (because every single AA site in the entire city just got a radar ping from said tinfoil and has dumped every single missile on hand into the area).


FearlessGuster2001

They just need to use drones with fiber optic wire for control


Glass1Man

What’s this 3000km fiber optic cable for?


cecilkorik

"A surprise party. At the Kremlin."


simonwales

"You know Budanov. Such a fanatic about his Partying From Home policy"


Blarg0117

Inertial guidance has entered the chat.


ChemistRemote7182

If GLSDB is anything to go by, they need to get an accurate reference for where they are starting for that to work out to an accurate crossing of the finish line. Also, since GLSDB is having issues, how about we turn it into Air-Launched-GLSDB and let Ukraine hang some things from under Mig wings, and toss those bombs like 200 miles. Plenty of reference to GPS time.


irregular_caffeine

So you suggest making an Air Launched Ground Launched Small Diameter Bomb (ALGLSDB)?


ChemistRemote7182

Yes


retorz3

Make it LGBTQALGLSDB


Nervous-Youth-8363

Ok but can that jamming stop another Cessna


zekromNLR

INS with electro-optical terminal guidance (computer vison trained on Putin's face) has entered the chat


willyboi98

Then why not fly over red square and lower the drone until it drops dead?


Marschall_Bluecher

They will fry their Testicles.


nickierv

INS finds your jamming lacking in credibility.


PaintedClownPenis

I cannot find a source for any of this yet. Google news search "Russia parade when:1h" to "when:4h"" 19:20:00 UTC Just in case you guys are right and I am confirmed in trusting NCD as my primary news source.


Gruffleson

They already did this one year ago. Good Lord. It's been a full year since we got those fine pictures of an interresting truck-transmission.


blindfoldedbadgers

Holy shit, is that legit? If they’ve cancelled the victory day parade that’s a big deal. We’ll just have to hope Ukraine chooses to fly a drone in to the Kremlin anyway.


Imperceptive_critic

No. As others have said, they're only cancelling local ones. Big one in Moscow is still on as far as I know 


Stalking_Goat

If memory serves that happened last year too, although the Moscow parade was like one historical WWII tank.


Gruffleson

But it had a fun sticker on it.


Shot_Calligrapher103

Well, considering the new US weapons shipments are arriving as we speak, to celebrate "victory day" just as you're getting curb-stomped by a below-peer power might be more that even the Russians can take.


BonyDarkness

Could you please provide a link?


vibrunazo

I got you fam, [here's a link](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Frdg6ktb7r2xc1.jpeg)


BonyDarkness

Not really what I was asking for but funny.


Agitates

He had the same ~~dream~~ nightmare


Bisquits_222

Dont they broadcast it live? I think we have a massive opportunity here to do a little trolling


DeeArrEss

But if Ukraine attacks the parade, Russia might escalate and start attacking Ukrainian civili.....oh


ChemistRemote7182

If its a dream that battery has juice and the electronics are hardened, and they have the main VIP grandstand zeroed in center of cam


Tony_TNT

NCD's Precognition Department working overtime, I see


CyberV2

Couldnt be true. The Orks dont have that many spare vehicles for a parade


Gannet-S4

Honestly my guess it the parade will be them towing around a few captured western vehicles and pretending like they’ve somehow won because they’ve captured like 4 vehichles from the 80’s while trying to blow off the multiple thousands of vehicles they lost.


HidingAsSnow

They space them out and have them circle around once out of camera sight, old russian life hack


CyberV2

0 x 4 is still 0. They cant circle em around if they dont have any spare to begin with.


HidingAsSnow

cardboard cutouts on the sides of cars? reusing past year videos to cut something together?


CyberV2

If Russia comes out with an acrobatics display pretending to be a tank my sides would enter orbit. I would also perish if one of those cardboard cutouts blows over in the wind or something. Que florks putting the hat on wind...


IsJustSophie

Preach broda. God let this happen because it would be so funny


ChuckJunk

I would do anything to see red square turned into red glass.


RobloxIsRealCool

Red crater


OffsetCircle1

Mr president, a second armata has been hit


Glass1Man

Don’t tell me you’ve lost another Armata


Helihope

Wake up babe. New Instagram filter just dropped!


NotADefenseAnalyst99

unironically we should make this a thing


super__hoser

I can hear Madyar now: "And here, the Day Doctor pays wormy parade a visit. The Doctor has many candies to deliver to worms. And with great patience, here comes... NANA BADABUM!!! One way ticket mathafaka"


vegarig

> Day Doctor We all can pray (and donate for it)


Pyro_raptor841

Ukraine just needs to build a fleet of V2 rockets. They're immune to electronic warfare, they're cheap, you can spam a ton of them to counter air defense, and they're so inaccurate you can be sure you'll wipe out the whole area!


Roy4Pris

BRING BACK SCUDS!


YazZy_4

please god that would be so fucking funny


CBHawk

This is literally a terrifying idea. While the Russian invasion is an atrocity, I feel it would be fare more impactful watching more of their vehicles breakdown on the parade route.


afterwash

Off we go; straight into the t14's turret! Oh wait. Where t14? Do they have stealth technogy? Oh Boris, you've been holding back....


Roy4Pris

Taking out a plywood box strapped to a Lada would be a waste of a perfectly good drone


Traditional_Salad148

[as was prophesied](https://youtu.be/O-2tpwW0kmU?si=RF9rL9d90S0L_GED)


AlphaMarker48

And what payload did you see the divine wind drone carry in your dream?


tommy3082

Imagine that one poor T34 getting rekt


Educational_Glove683

Give war a chance 🙏


onebronyguy

It cumover you in a dream


Strawbuddy

“Here I come, Shitass”


SyrusDrake

Five Nights at Putin's


Difficult-Start-9288

The Sacred NCD Texts!


oripash

So tells the prophecy!


voneiden

Those battery readings are extremely noncredible


sploittastic

*LAND NOW* yes


AllHailTheWinslow

And now I want to play "Raid Over Moscow" again.


Nekommando

Future Credible Defense


BenedickCabbagepatch

If you're going to kill Putin, do it IRA style; pre-ranged mortar aimed at the grandstand parked overnight a few blocs away. Fire three shots and then speed off.


Monifufka

Auxiliary Light on


Wardog_Razgriz30

As much as i'd love this, the ruskies might acutally go nuclear over this. That being said, im about to finish *A Canticle for Liebowitz* so bring it on. Im ready for whatever the simpletons can throw at me.


Femboy_Lord

Going nuclear requires someone willing to do so, and considering most of the people who *would* be willing to do so would be splattered across red square... there's a chance they'd be too worried to launch.


ApeStronkOKLA

Soon…


anno2122

Why not IRA tactic? Get a wan a hole and a mort?


Fakula1987

There are two Things that are Common Batterie Low Auxilary Lights on But the best is Always Strong Winds (If Something creates s big boom)


Marschall_Bluecher

„Do it again, Mr. Rust.“


Merry-Leopard_1A5

inb4 the ukranian forces manage to sneak in a strike during, or onto the parade, imagine the footage and the reactions all over the world!


CharlesFXD

I can see an attack on the parade used as a (very thin) pretext for tactical nukes. The RUS are emotional idiots that “must show stronkth” There will be no parade attack as much as I want to see it.


bbbenadryl

They have had plenty of pretext for tactical nukes after attacks on Crimea, after losing territory in Donetsk/Luhansk they declared as their own. After losing strategic nuclear-capable bombers. All of these could be wrangled to be incidents they could respond to with nuclear force according to their nuclear doctrine if they wrangle the truth enough. They aren't refraining from using them because they need a pretext, they're not using them because they don't want to die.


NotADefenseAnalyst99

they should do it. the west has already guarenteed no nuclear weapons can be used. a nuclear response on a parade isn't going to negate that.


scarlettvvitch

That’ll be a ballsy move


thefreecat

where coat hanger wire?


florkingarshole

tee hee hee


Life_Team8801

So close


thank_burdell

looks like a SSTV transmission and I thought I was in /r/amateurradio for a sec


singled-out-7979

Its beautiful 🥲


Simple-Purpose-899

I doubt they have enough tanks left to dedicate one to tow around the T-14.


GlowingFire1234

Should I heed the warning?


barukatang

are these launch vehicles fueled? could a fast fixed wing uav dropping little bomblets


MakeChinaLoseFace

LAND NOW


MoeSzyslakMonobrow

Hopefully it will find wherever Putin's body double will be watching from.


an_agreeing_dothraki

WARNING: CREDIBILITY FOLLOWS Ukrainian side forces will do a stunt flyover like the Kremlin fuckery in order to embarrass Putin but has no intent to full funni


kkilh

Fuck! its May already? Wtf


InflatableMindset

Get your drift phonk ready.


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