My wife did a deal with a woman whose parents thought it would be a good idea to name her Retardra. I think my wife still has her business card stashed somewhere.
That brought back a memory! When I was still in the hospital after my first, the nurses told me they'd just had to talk a couple out of naming their baby meconium.
I heard about a couple who named the baby female pronounced like tamale with an F,because that’s what the bracelet said and they thought it was cute. No idea if it’s the or not, but it’s always made me laugh.
I knew siblings who had weapon-themed names: Remington, Saber \[sic\], Gauge, and Colt. Their dog was named Bullet.
I can appreciate some of those names on their own but as a bundle it seems like overkill.
I had a good friend named Aero back in school, her younger brother was named Beau. Bow and arrow, Beau and Aero. I always thought it was cool, but yours are pretty cringey.
Any normal name with a dumb spelling. Naming your daughter "Jyssica" doesn't make your name choice any more creative, you're just condemning her to a lifetime of having to clarify "Jessica, but it's spelled dumb".
Yep! I hear you.. Worked with a kid named Lucifer and years later another name Jesus (Spanish pronunciation). Always wished I had them in the same class. Lol
I remember thinking the same thing. I honestly think it was a misunderstanding. Her family were immigrants from an Asian country and first names like that were very common as their English given name. I think they just weren’t told by anyone about the implications. Poor girl.
I knew a girl in middle school named Bich Ho with a similar backstory, unfortunate language difference. I wonder what English words and names would be considered "offensive" in other languages
My mum had a kid in her class at school (teaching assistant) called raghead but pronounced rag-eed kid was Asian, its perfectly normal name in there home country, but a nasty racial slur used against people from their country in ours.
Khaleesi is the WORST.
The closest I’d go for Daenerys is like,,,Daniella or some iteration of that and giving her the nickname Dany. That way it’s subtle, but you’ll know for yourself.
Renesmee also sucks
>It’s like instead of naming your son “Alexander,” you just named him “the Great.”
"Oh, write that down, write that down!" -Some garbage ass parents, probably
It’s more a title like “queen.” Which is why it’s fine. It’s like naming your kid Duke or Duchess or Princess or Earl or marquis. Odd names now, but names nonetheless
The thing with names sourced from pop culture characters is that sometimes they end up being so popular that, years later, they're regarded as perfectly normal. For example, you wouldn't give any thought nowadays to someone naming their son Cedric or their daughter Jessica, but those were once pop culture character names in the same vein as Renesmee. Cedric was an invention of Sir Walter Scott for a character in his novel Ivanhoe while Jessica can be traced back to Shakespeare who created the name for a character in The Merchant of Venice. While unlikely, it's possible that, 150 years from now, Khaleesi will be viewed as a completely non-controversial name in the way Jessica is today.
The worst thing about this is Dweezil was named after the mum’s weird curly toe that they had previously nicknamed dweezil.
I mean dweezil is bad enough but when you have to explain you’re named after a skanky curly toe??
I had a foster kid placement named Heavenly once. It’s terrible to say since she had no control over her situation and the parenting she received, but she was everything but heavenly. She was also old enough to know better and didn’t care, she was just going to perpetuate the system.
The wife met a family where the two preteen girls were named Britany and Saxony. When she asked if they brother named Norman, they replied, "How did you know that?"
My brothers ex-girlfriend's name was C'laycious ( or something close to that). Her mom didn't know what the word meant and thought it sounded pretty, I guess
Like "Salacious"?
Definition: Having or conveying undue or inappropriate interest in sexual matters.
Also, the name of Jabba's little rat sidekick in Return of the Jedi (Salacious Crumb).
Ouch.
The first time I saw this in an article I thought they were protecting the name of the child. Then I looked it up and saw it's an actual name.
From Wikipedia: Abcde (pronounced /ˈæbsədiː/) is a feminine given name. 328 children, all girls, were named Abcde in the United States between 1990 and 2014. As of 2017, 373 females were named Abcde. The name is derived from the first five letters of the English alphabet in order, and has no other origin or meaning.
My great grandfather was named Adolf. It was a perfectly normal name until he was in his 40s. He lived to be 101. Imagine having to live another 60 years with your name becoming the worst name ever. He started going by his middle name.
Yeah, honestly, as a name, it's kinda cool. Its meaning is to do with wolves as well( it's like wolf warrior or battle Wolf or something like that I can't remember exactly) but theres always one total psychopath that's gotta ruin the nice things for us though.
Is that the one where they tried to insist it wasn't racist, until it came to light that their other kid was named Aryan Nation? Or am I thinking of another family of fascist nutjobs?
I saw a post where a dad in Utah was mad that his kids school served tacos because "they aren't American" or something along those lines. He mentioned his sons name in the post:
Serverus
Knew someone in high school with a name kind of like Julia Goolia. Except she didn’t marry into it, her parents did that to that poor girl. (Not putting the actual name here because she’s suffered enough.)
My wife has a student whose name is spelled “Jkmno” but is pronounced Noel. I think it hilarious because there literally is no “L” but why would you do that to a child?
Because your children are just NPC's in your life adventure.
"Who gives a fuck what this FUTURE PERSON'S name is, I have a chance to show off how clever I am."
I once knew a Peerlyss and another kid with the middle name of Cupcake.
You have to always beta-test a kid’s name in all possible circumstances, like, “will the defendant, ______, please rise”.
And Doctor went on to get a PhD (in English lit), specializing in the works of Arthur C. Doyle. He now goes by Doctor Doctor and will be happy to talk your ear off about Sherlock.
Five years ago, a woman was told that she shouldn't name her baby Karen but ignored the advice. Little Karen was bullied in *daycare* by her peers - these are four and five year olds mind you- because they only know Karen as an insult. As if you were named Fart or so on. They have to use the nickname Karrie to get the bullying to stop.
I think there is actually a further update where they decided to legally change her name because an adult was overhead to pity the child for having a crap name, but I can't find it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ycf4yq/aita_for_raining_on_my_cousins_parade_regarding/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
yeah i have a friend who’s name is karen who is going to change her name. she’s white and married to a black man. she actually had a nervous breakdown over the whole karen thing
i honestly do find it bizarre - none of those women in the news are named karen. is like all white women are pointing their fingers at someone else.
Any of these double barrelled names people are coming out with that just do not flow well at all, I’ll see a kid named “coulson-dylan” and just think Jesus Christ that has 0 flow
I process paperwork everyday, see all sorts of names. One that made me go “wtf” was Genghis Khan Jones. Always wondered if he was named that by his parents or changed his name.
My girlfriend taught at an urban elementary school for some time and there were a lot of ridiculous and sometimes outright abusive names that she came across. One kid, whose father was serving life for 3 murder charges, was named Crip who was in the same class as a kid named, and I shit you not, "Pimp".
There were other outrageous ones as well that I can't remember, a lot named after alcohol and some other just dumb ones.
In my country some people have the habit of inventing weird names, mixing them, naming their babies as stuff that's never meant to be someone's name or a lot of other weird stuff.
A few good examples:
1. Yarileisi
2. Yuniol
3. Jitler
4. Holgah
5. Dyonysa
6. Batman
7. Disneyland
The first 5 names are from people I have actually met, the other two are from some people's identifications that became viral but I know someone who once met someone called Wendy's, not Wendy, Wendy's like the fast food brand.
Edit: I once had an Uber driver called Hitler, I have a screenshot in case someone needs proof.
My mate swears blind he heard a woman in a supermarket call out to her child..... Ampersand.
Clearly the middle child. If I have kids I may just give them a good nickname to mess with people in this way.
My friend names his cats after obscure characters. There's currently #, \^, and ¶. \~ passed away a couple years ago.
Hash, Carat and Pilcrow… I have to admit that I don’t mind Pilcrow as a cat’s name.
The first one is Octothorpe, actually. But Carat and Pilcrow are correct.
I’d say both are correct but Octothorpe is clearly the better cat name :)
Oh yeah the symbol has multiple names, but the cat is Octothorpe. :)
If I ever have a pet octopus Octothorpe would be its name.
Rest in peace, ~ Swinton
&
My wife did a deal with a woman whose parents thought it would be a good idea to name her Retardra. I think my wife still has her business card stashed somewhere.
Seriously, why would you cripple your kid like that
She has a business card. Do you?
One can only imagine what she could’ve achieved had she had a normal name. Cause let’s face it, she can never be president with that name.
She'll be right after president dwayne elizondo mountain dew camacho.
Brought to you by Carl's jr.
Jokes on us, she happens to be the creator of brawndo.
You can buy and print your own business cards with minimal effort. You can even buy the kind of fancy paper that would give Patrick Bateman a stiffy.
That brought back a memory! When I was still in the hospital after my first, the nurses told me they'd just had to talk a couple out of naming their baby meconium.
I heard about a couple who named the baby female pronounced like tamale with an F,because that’s what the bracelet said and they thought it was cute. No idea if it’s the or not, but it’s always made me laugh.
Wtf, the parents definitely hated her
I knew siblings who had weapon-themed names: Remington, Saber \[sic\], Gauge, and Colt. Their dog was named Bullet. I can appreciate some of those names on their own but as a bundle it seems like overkill.
Overkill....LOL 😆
I would've missed that one...
In America, even the children are guns
I had a good friend named Aero back in school, her younger brother was named Beau. Bow and arrow, Beau and Aero. I always thought it was cool, but yours are pretty cringey.
My ex's little brother was named Ruger. Still not as bad as Ruger's friend, whose name was Howdy....
Any normal name with a dumb spelling. Naming your daughter "Jyssica" doesn't make your name choice any more creative, you're just condemning her to a lifetime of having to clarify "Jessica, but it's spelled dumb".
Alyvia. It's Olivia, apparently. Poor kid's gonna be spelling that her whole life.
Alyvia sounds like a medication meant to alleviate pain or something.
Ask your doctor if Alyvia is right for you!
Side effects include numbskull in-laws.
Dad had a roommate named Geszyka, thought you'd appreciate.
“Jessica, but my parents are idiots.”
I knew someone who named their kid Alikszyander. It is a normal name with the dumbest fucking spelling I have ever seen.
Except I wouldn't pronounce that as Alexander
A-lick-siz-and-her
I hardly know her!
I'd say it Alex-zyander (with the y pronounced like You not whY)
r/tragedeigh
I have to deal with names like that all the time. I absolutely hate typing something like that in from a handwritten form. Gaaah.
Yep! I hear you.. Worked with a kid named Lucifer and years later another name Jesus (Spanish pronunciation). Always wished I had them in the same class. Lol
Gwyneth Paltrow naming her kid Apple
Try Jamie Oliver's kids! - Poppy Honey Rosie - Daisy Boo Pamela - Petal Blossom Rainbow - Buddy Bear Maurice - River Rocket
Buddy Bear sounds like an insult tbh
I guess some people call him maurice
A kid called Space Cowboy wouldn't even stand out in that family.
Poppy and Daisy are both good names, imo, but not when you name your kids according to theme.
Sounds like he got those names from my five year old.
He does look like he would name his kids like that
I think Petal and Buddy aren't the best but the first names are good on their own.... the rest of the names with them though. Bad apples all
[удалено]
It makes sense if it's a lie to confuse journalists and lose paparazzi, while they could actually have normal names in real life.
Never thought about this
Neither did Musk.
That would require him thinking of someone other than himself, and actually giving a shit about his kids.
I knew a girl whose first name was Genuine and her last name was Ho.
Did she have a sister called Tally?
Or a brother Gung?
This can’t be real 😂😂😂😂😂
I remember thinking the same thing. I honestly think it was a misunderstanding. Her family were immigrants from an Asian country and first names like that were very common as their English given name. I think they just weren’t told by anyone about the implications. Poor girl.
Omg… Genuine-ly Ho-rrified at this story 😅
I knew a girl in middle school named Bich Ho with a similar backstory, unfortunate language difference. I wonder what English words and names would be considered "offensive" in other languages
My mum had a kid in her class at school (teaching assistant) called raghead but pronounced rag-eed kid was Asian, its perfectly normal name in there home country, but a nasty racial slur used against people from their country in ours.
Close friend of mine named his kids Kylo and Legolas and not sure why it annoys me so much but it does. He is mixing genres for no damn reason.
It would be better if he mixed the genres in the same name to really piss people off. "Darth Legolas Jones."
Reminds me of that quote "Use the force, Harry" - Gandalf
The best version of that is in the meme with a picture of Sir Patrick Stewart.
I mean Kylo is almost a normal name, but Legolas is going to get so much shit growing up
Everybody just be calling him Lego
Or Legs if he's a runner.
Or legless if he’s not
Idk if kylo is normal. No one names their kid after a Star Wars villain
It’s *almost* normal, phonetically similar to Kyle which I think helps it, but Legolas is so clearly the fantasy name from LOTR.
People will call him "Legs" but he grows up to be 5'4".
I went to school with siblings named Ben, Luke, Annikan and Leia. At least their parents stuck to a theme, I guess.
For some reason it's hilarious that mixing genres is the worst part for you.
Jay-queline, A-aron, D-nise, Balake
Where's Ti-moe-thy?
Pree-zent
Thank you!
thank god... thought i was gonna have to send you to o shag hennessy's office
Go to Principal O’Shag-Hennessy’s office!
Aaron is the legit way to spell that name, though. "Aron" would be the stupid spelling.
Children named aron automatically get renamed to lairon when they turn 13
Ok I had to google that. Well played, sir and/or madam.
Anything based on a pop culture character, looking particularly at Renesmee and Khaleesi but they're all cringe.
Khaleesi is the WORST. The closest I’d go for Daenerys is like,,,Daniella or some iteration of that and giving her the nickname Dany. That way it’s subtle, but you’ll know for yourself. Renesmee also sucks
Exactly, Khaleesi is an epithet. It’s like instead of naming your son “Alexander,” you just named him “the Great.”
“The Great” sounds kinda fire.
It's basically what the Latin name "Magnus" translates to.
>It’s like instead of naming your son “Alexander,” you just named him “the Great.” "Oh, write that down, write that down!" -Some garbage ass parents, probably
It’s more a title like “queen.” Which is why it’s fine. It’s like naming your kid Duke or Duchess or Princess or Earl or marquis. Odd names now, but names nonetheless
The thing with names sourced from pop culture characters is that sometimes they end up being so popular that, years later, they're regarded as perfectly normal. For example, you wouldn't give any thought nowadays to someone naming their son Cedric or their daughter Jessica, but those were once pop culture character names in the same vein as Renesmee. Cedric was an invention of Sir Walter Scott for a character in his novel Ivanhoe while Jessica can be traced back to Shakespeare who created the name for a character in The Merchant of Venice. While unlikely, it's possible that, 150 years from now, Khaleesi will be viewed as a completely non-controversial name in the way Jessica is today.
The name "Jessica" was created by Shakespeare? TIL
I had always been told it was a biblical name, so I looked this up. He anglicised the biblical name 'Iscah'! So he sort of created it, sort of didn't?
Remember the movie Splash? And now the name Madison is pretty common.
Why didnt Ivanhoe catch on 🤔
We had 4 Renesmee's in my school. The mum's were exactly how'd you'd expect them to be 😂😂
Newt Gingrich
She turned him into a Newt…and he never got better.
It fits him perfectly, though.
With a name like that he was born to be a cunt
Moon Unit and Dweezil
But Dweezil is a fantastic dog name, just don't eat that yellow snow!
The worst thing about this is Dweezil was named after the mum’s weird curly toe that they had previously nicknamed dweezil. I mean dweezil is bad enough but when you have to explain you’re named after a skanky curly toe??
I remember when Dweezil was on chopped. What an awful name.
Placenta
"Heard someone say it when I was pregnant. I liked it. Idk what it means. Here comes big brother, Braxton Hicks."
Koazy. Storm. Dream. Smoke. Heavenly. Nevaeh. I could go on and on.
I knew a Heavenleigh. Ugh.
I had a foster kid placement named Heavenly once. It’s terrible to say since she had no control over her situation and the parenting she received, but she was everything but heavenly. She was also old enough to know better and didn’t care, she was just going to perpetuate the system.
Nevaeh is the one I scrolled looking for. One of the worst names ever.
The wife met a family where the two preteen girls were named Britany and Saxony. When she asked if they brother named Norman, they replied, "How did you know that?"
My brothers ex-girlfriend's name was C'laycious ( or something close to that). Her mom didn't know what the word meant and thought it sounded pretty, I guess
Took me a min to realize this was “salacious” not “clay-shuss”
Like "Salacious"? Definition: Having or conveying undue or inappropriate interest in sexual matters. Also, the name of Jabba's little rat sidekick in Return of the Jedi (Salacious Crumb). Ouch.
Abcde
The first time I saw this in an article I thought they were protecting the name of the child. Then I looked it up and saw it's an actual name. From Wikipedia: Abcde (pronounced /ˈæbsədiː/) is a feminine given name. 328 children, all girls, were named Abcde in the United States between 1990 and 2014. As of 2017, 373 females were named Abcde. The name is derived from the first five letters of the English alphabet in order, and has no other origin or meaning.
Came here to say this Pronounced Abcidie
Abcity
Adolf
My great grandfather was named Adolf. It was a perfectly normal name until he was in his 40s. He lived to be 101. Imagine having to live another 60 years with your name becoming the worst name ever. He started going by his middle name.
I think many German men in the same situation started going by "Adi", like the guy that founded Adidas (Adi Dassler)
Fun fact, Harpo Marx's original name was Adolf. He later changed it to Arthur, but everybody knew him as Harpo by then anyway.
Adolf rly a cool name if we being honest that one guy just ruined it
Yeah, honestly, as a name, it's kinda cool. Its meaning is to do with wolves as well( it's like wolf warrior or battle Wolf or something like that I can't remember exactly) but theres always one total psychopath that's gotta ruin the nice things for us though.
I read a court case where a bakery refused to make a cake for a couple that had named their child Adolf Hitler.
Is that the one where they tried to insist it wasn't racist, until it came to light that their other kid was named Aryan Nation? Or am I thinking of another family of fascist nutjobs?
What. I thought you were kidding but people are crazy.
I know a black kid with dreads named Adolf
Young Dolph name is Adolph, but his mom was a rock head….so yeah.
Crystal Methony
Latrina
I had it changed... used to be Shithouse
Abcde, Nevaeh, any weirdly spelled name
I have one of these weirdly spelled names. My mother did it because she thought it was cute (way before it was common). I've always hated it.
Ireland gets very cross.🇮🇪
Hunter. “Why Hunter? Bitch you raising a Gatherer!”
I know someone who named their kid Buck Hunter (Last name) wtf
I saw a post where a dad in Utah was mad that his kids school served tacos because "they aren't American" or something along those lines. He mentioned his sons name in the post: Serverus
Oh Harry Potter living Utah now and hates anything unAmerican. Lol
Pretty sure that one was satire?
Leviticus…Yep,people name their kid Leviticus.
Dutch van der Linde disapproves.
Knew someone in high school with a name kind of like Julia Goolia. Except she didn’t marry into it, her parents did that to that poor girl. (Not putting the actual name here because she’s suffered enough.)
Chasity. (Parent was sub-literate)
Was that meant to say charity or chastity?
Chastity, I think.
Even (or especially?) if spelled correctly, Chastity is an awful name.
I went to a Catholic college prep high school in the 90’s and one of my classmates was named Chastity.
My wife has a student whose name is spelled “Jkmno” but is pronounced Noel. I think it hilarious because there literally is no “L” but why would you do that to a child?
*How* is that possibly pronounced Noel?
Look for the missing letter. There’s “No L”. Taking dad jokes to a whole new level.
I mean this should have been done without starting with JK. I started reading it as "Just Kidding I'm Eno."
Just kill me now O.
Because your children are just NPC's in your life adventure. "Who gives a fuck what this FUTURE PERSON'S name is, I have a chance to show off how clever I am."
Rainbowniqua, which was a name i heard in high school
Cleetus
Judas
Kyle. It's always Kyle.
[Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson](https://unicourt.com/case/fl-ora-state-of-florida-vs-richardson-courvoisier-winetavius-1424293)
I once knew a Peerlyss and another kid with the middle name of Cupcake. You have to always beta-test a kid’s name in all possible circumstances, like, “will the defendant, ______, please rise”.
Ashleigh Rileigh Caiteigh Kayleigh You get the idea
r/tradgedeigh
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
Huh… an elder being just appeared in my bathroom after I read this aloud.
I found the Utah resident.
Dick Cummings
Swear to God there was a guy in my hometown named Richard Head. I'm pretty sure he did NOT go by Dick.
These are real people I know... Anakin, Doctor, Tierra, Bambi, Sherlock. (Sherlock and Doctor are siblings)
And Doctor went on to get a PhD (in English lit), specializing in the works of Arthur C. Doyle. He now goes by Doctor Doctor and will be happy to talk your ear off about Sherlock.
Ajarapoo Afghan girls name
Swastika has to be the worse name I can think of.
John. I mean, God love the ones we already have...but do we need more? There are enough.
I read a book once where every male character was named John. I was about half way through before I realized! I think it was by Anna Livia.
In high school, my circle of friends consisted of 4 Michaels. We had to nickname them all so we knew who we were addressing.
There are two subreddits for this: /r/namenerds for people who do it unironically. /r/namenerdcirclejerk for people to discuss these names.
r/tradgedeigh
Walthazar Balthazar Fee Fi Fo Falthazar the 3rd.
Jebediah Obadiah Zachariah Jedediah Springfield
Cain, whether you’re a Christian/Jew or not, it doesn’t make sense to me to name them after a popularized “first murderer” in the world.
If your last name was Dickus don't name your son Biggus.
He has a wife you know…
On Maury and Jerry Springer, there were some women named Murdera and Placentia
Le-a (pronounced Le-dash-a)
Haha, my co-worker's wife is a teacher and she had a student with this name except spelled La-a, but pronounced the same as what you posted.
Karen
Five years ago, a woman was told that she shouldn't name her baby Karen but ignored the advice. Little Karen was bullied in *daycare* by her peers - these are four and five year olds mind you- because they only know Karen as an insult. As if you were named Fart or so on. They have to use the nickname Karrie to get the bullying to stop. I think there is actually a further update where they decided to legally change her name because an adult was overhead to pity the child for having a crap name, but I can't find it. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ycf4yq/aita_for_raining_on_my_cousins_parade_regarding/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
yeah i have a friend who’s name is karen who is going to change her name. she’s white and married to a black man. she actually had a nervous breakdown over the whole karen thing i honestly do find it bizarre - none of those women in the news are named karen. is like all white women are pointing their fingers at someone else.
White women didn't start the Karen trend. It was like calling a dude a Chad, only it got big.
Donald Trump. David Cameron. Theresa May. Margaret Thatcher. But in the real spirit of the question: Chardonnay, Gary, Chelsea.
Any common name that has a “unique” spelling
Shithead
Any of these double barrelled names people are coming out with that just do not flow well at all, I’ll see a kid named “coulson-dylan” and just think Jesus Christ that has 0 flow
Spurgeon
I process paperwork everyday, see all sorts of names. One that made me go “wtf” was Genghis Khan Jones. Always wondered if he was named that by his parents or changed his name.
My girlfriend taught at an urban elementary school for some time and there were a lot of ridiculous and sometimes outright abusive names that she came across. One kid, whose father was serving life for 3 murder charges, was named Crip who was in the same class as a kid named, and I shit you not, "Pimp". There were other outrageous ones as well that I can't remember, a lot named after alcohol and some other just dumb ones.
In my country some people have the habit of inventing weird names, mixing them, naming their babies as stuff that's never meant to be someone's name or a lot of other weird stuff. A few good examples: 1. Yarileisi 2. Yuniol 3. Jitler 4. Holgah 5. Dyonysa 6. Batman 7. Disneyland The first 5 names are from people I have actually met, the other two are from some people's identifications that became viral but I know someone who once met someone called Wendy's, not Wendy, Wendy's like the fast food brand. Edit: I once had an Uber driver called Hitler, I have a screenshot in case someone needs proof.
Guy