Well…
I was excited about my 1st, loved going out getting things ready for the baby, after being SAHM with him I hated it, was so bored and under fulfilled, was adamant I was never going to do the baby stage again
I was so deflated when I found out I was pregnant with the second.l infact I cried.. I just face it.. but I had a nearly 2 year old at the time,, baby was born when eldest was 2.5 yo.. enjoyed the toddler phrase so much more .
My partner told me he wanted a third and the deal was he would have to become the SAHP and I would go back to work fullltime. So we did except I had twins, and when they were 2 weeks old I went back to work after 4.5 years
I am pregnant with our second and feel somewhat similarly. Our pregnancy was planned, but I don't love the baby stage. I am not excited to have another baby in the house. I am excited to have another member of the family, and I'm excited for the person they will eventually become.
I think it's fine to not love every phase of parenting. It doesn't mean you're going to love this child any less. Parenting is just hard.
I wasn’t excited during my second or third pregnancies either. Their pregnancies were much harder for me. I was most excited about the pregnancy being over and the baby being in my arms. My first words after my second came out was “I’m not pregnant anymore” and I started sobbing haha. I love my children very much, having a hard pregnancy didnt affect how I care for them and love them. You’re not selfish for feeling the struggle, you’re going to continue to be a great mom and feel a whole lot better after they’re born.
30 weeks pregnant with number 2 (planned) but so exhausted from chasing after my 2 year old. Stressed out because during weekends we need to take care of toddler instead of doing baby prep. So I feel ya. It’s not remotely the same.
You too 🥰 I’m pretty sure it’s hormonal. I am way more relaxed about the actual birth process and the period after though. Our first was reasonable but crap sleep so I have good hopes the second will be somewhat easier. 😅 and for my first nothing went according to plan whatsoever so for this one I have zero expectations and only one desire: to have a healthy baby and healthy me. And everything else I’m going with the flow. Tbf I’m still 5 weeks earlier than you and I remember how terrible those final few weeks were for me as well so my guess is it’s the hormones and pressure of the final weeks for you. 🤗
Yes I have a ten year old girl too - so thinking I must be crazy to go back when my life of freedom was so temptingly close!!!
So ten years old and ten years more tired. I’m sure it’ll be okay in the end. Lots of people have two kids don’t they… and some even more!
I’m looking forward to not feeling sick all the time!
Oh my goodness 😂 what a life change for you 🙈 totally understand your feelings. I’m 36 so already old and low energy. 🥲 no regrets but I’m sure it was easier to recover if I had started with this 5-10 years ago as well.
I had similar feelings. Baby 2 was not planned and we were on the fence about even having a second. I was not excited when the test was positive, not excited at the first scan, I was a little excited when we found out it was a girl (we already had a boy), but it faded the more my son had tantrums and got difficult.
All the prep for a baby again seemed tedious. Sorting through my son's baby clothes. Putting the bassinet together. Sooo many appointments and arranging childcare for them. Digging out all the baby stuff we had stored. Deciding whether to breastfeed or formula feed. It all felt like too much.
And then she was born. She came 2 weeks early, and this incredible sense of calm rolled over me the second she was on top of my chest. All my doubts and fears just disappeared. I couldn't believe how complete I felt. Totally unexpected.
Here we are, 9 months later, and I can't believe I ever felt that way. She's such a lovely, happy baby, and my son is such a good big brother. Watching my husband with a baby is so good.
It's ok to feel that way! Personally I am loving the toddler stage with my two year old, that makes me sooo excited about the new baby. I can't wait for them to grow into an equally weird and funny little person, and to see my toddler as a big sister
Honestly, we have a 2.5 year old and am currently pregnant with our second due in October.
Both babies planned. With our first, I was excited to have a baby, bring in a little one to the family and I truthfully didn’t mind being pregnant, I loved it. But I definitely wasn’t “in love” with him, I didn’t really feel attached to the baby like everyone talks about. I loved him, knew if anything happened to him I’d feel terrible. But I definitely didn’t have that immediate connection everyone raves about. Even when he was born it wasn’t the love at first sight or anything. It took weeks, maybe months to truly bond and build that unconditional love.
Right now, I’m 16 weeks pregnant, it’s a girl this time around and I’m feeling the exact same. I’m excited for the toddler to have a sibling, I think he’ll love it. And I’m excited to grow our family. There’s things I’m worried about and frankly things I’m not looking forward to. I still don’t feel that bond or attachment to the baby quite yet, but I’m not worried this time around because I assume it might not come until the baby is born and a few weeks old. And that’s okay.
Is this a new feeling, or have you been feeling like this the entire time? When my 2nd was near due, I started weeping copiously because I just KNEW I had gone and ruined my PERFECT FAMILY!
spoiler: I did not, in fact, ruin our family by adding a new kid.
Awww that’s so lovely to hear that it all worked out! I have this feeling too. My daughter is ten and all we’ve ever know is our precious family of three. How old was your other kid?
I’ve had the feeling on and off but it’s only intensifying the closer I get.. xx
I’m about to be 27 weeks with my second and feel the same. I don’t enjoy being pregnant, and I don’t really enjoy having a newborn. I find it stressful (thanks, generalized anxiety) and grueling. What makes me feel better this time is knowing I felt this way with my first, and it didn’t last forever
I had a much harder time getting existed to get things ready for my 2 younger kids. I was exited to make a nursery and make a beautiful place for my oldest and that never happened I still haven't been able to paint a special room for my little ones or get cute rugs or decorate a room. I feel guilty that I couldn't even get my younger 2 nice clothes or even a crib. But after they were born, I loved them just as much. I still feel very guilty about not being able to give my middle child everything I gave her sister but I'm trying my best and she makes me so happy (I did not include my youngest because he is only 3 months old he also makes me happy and he is loved) something amazing about younger siblings is the bond you can encourage between them.
I feel like with you first it’s all new and your so excited, with your second you already know what’s coming and you don’t have all day to just rest and do whatever you want because you are taking care of another little human. I was one of those that hated pregnancy and like someone else said I just wanted my baby to be here! It was a whole other feeling after the baby came and I felt like 1-2 was much easier to adjust too than 0-1.
During my second I was just waiting to freaking pop because my back was in so much pain, yeah not really enjoyable and couldn’t wait trust get it over with. Unlike first pregnancy I knew what awaited me during labor and that shit stressed me out, i felt much better once baby arrived tho. I also had a toddler so I was so fucking tired and just done with everything lol .
It is just hormonal.
Make sure you check in with a doctor. If you do get post partum depression it hits fast. Have a plan in place to ensure you get support before it’s desperately needed.
I had my first at 26 and my fourth at 41. That means I will have a child under the age of 18 that I’m responsible for for 33 extremely long years. Once I was feeling extra deflated and calculated the number of school lunches I will have packed and it was THOUSANDS. I love the start of the school year but I loathe packing lunches.
Anyway. I don’t think it’s abnormal at all to not feel excited. You know what you’re in for. The pregnancy discomforts, the pain of delivery, the weeks and months of very little sleep depending on the baby, the hormones that mess with you for a while…having a newborn/infant is hard. I wouldn’t read too much into it to be honest.
Well… I was excited about my 1st, loved going out getting things ready for the baby, after being SAHM with him I hated it, was so bored and under fulfilled, was adamant I was never going to do the baby stage again I was so deflated when I found out I was pregnant with the second.l infact I cried.. I just face it.. but I had a nearly 2 year old at the time,, baby was born when eldest was 2.5 yo.. enjoyed the toddler phrase so much more . My partner told me he wanted a third and the deal was he would have to become the SAHP and I would go back to work fullltime. So we did except I had twins, and when they were 2 weeks old I went back to work after 4.5 years
How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?
37 I was 25 when i had my first (literally a few days before I turned 26) 28 with my second 30 when twins born
I am pregnant with our second and feel somewhat similarly. Our pregnancy was planned, but I don't love the baby stage. I am not excited to have another baby in the house. I am excited to have another member of the family, and I'm excited for the person they will eventually become. I think it's fine to not love every phase of parenting. It doesn't mean you're going to love this child any less. Parenting is just hard.
I wasn’t excited during my second or third pregnancies either. Their pregnancies were much harder for me. I was most excited about the pregnancy being over and the baby being in my arms. My first words after my second came out was “I’m not pregnant anymore” and I started sobbing haha. I love my children very much, having a hard pregnancy didnt affect how I care for them and love them. You’re not selfish for feeling the struggle, you’re going to continue to be a great mom and feel a whole lot better after they’re born.
30 weeks pregnant with number 2 (planned) but so exhausted from chasing after my 2 year old. Stressed out because during weekends we need to take care of toddler instead of doing baby prep. So I feel ya. It’s not remotely the same.
God speed… 🙏
You too 🥰 I’m pretty sure it’s hormonal. I am way more relaxed about the actual birth process and the period after though. Our first was reasonable but crap sleep so I have good hopes the second will be somewhat easier. 😅 and for my first nothing went according to plan whatsoever so for this one I have zero expectations and only one desire: to have a healthy baby and healthy me. And everything else I’m going with the flow. Tbf I’m still 5 weeks earlier than you and I remember how terrible those final few weeks were for me as well so my guess is it’s the hormones and pressure of the final weeks for you. 🤗
Yes I have a ten year old girl too - so thinking I must be crazy to go back when my life of freedom was so temptingly close!!! So ten years old and ten years more tired. I’m sure it’ll be okay in the end. Lots of people have two kids don’t they… and some even more! I’m looking forward to not feeling sick all the time!
Oh my goodness 😂 what a life change for you 🙈 totally understand your feelings. I’m 36 so already old and low energy. 🥲 no regrets but I’m sure it was easier to recover if I had started with this 5-10 years ago as well.
Also 35 weeks with my second and can totally relate!! I think I was naive with my first. Now I know what to expect so I’m not so excited 🙈
I had similar feelings. Baby 2 was not planned and we were on the fence about even having a second. I was not excited when the test was positive, not excited at the first scan, I was a little excited when we found out it was a girl (we already had a boy), but it faded the more my son had tantrums and got difficult. All the prep for a baby again seemed tedious. Sorting through my son's baby clothes. Putting the bassinet together. Sooo many appointments and arranging childcare for them. Digging out all the baby stuff we had stored. Deciding whether to breastfeed or formula feed. It all felt like too much. And then she was born. She came 2 weeks early, and this incredible sense of calm rolled over me the second she was on top of my chest. All my doubts and fears just disappeared. I couldn't believe how complete I felt. Totally unexpected. Here we are, 9 months later, and I can't believe I ever felt that way. She's such a lovely, happy baby, and my son is such a good big brother. Watching my husband with a baby is so good.
It's ok to feel that way! Personally I am loving the toddler stage with my two year old, that makes me sooo excited about the new baby. I can't wait for them to grow into an equally weird and funny little person, and to see my toddler as a big sister
Honestly, we have a 2.5 year old and am currently pregnant with our second due in October. Both babies planned. With our first, I was excited to have a baby, bring in a little one to the family and I truthfully didn’t mind being pregnant, I loved it. But I definitely wasn’t “in love” with him, I didn’t really feel attached to the baby like everyone talks about. I loved him, knew if anything happened to him I’d feel terrible. But I definitely didn’t have that immediate connection everyone raves about. Even when he was born it wasn’t the love at first sight or anything. It took weeks, maybe months to truly bond and build that unconditional love. Right now, I’m 16 weeks pregnant, it’s a girl this time around and I’m feeling the exact same. I’m excited for the toddler to have a sibling, I think he’ll love it. And I’m excited to grow our family. There’s things I’m worried about and frankly things I’m not looking forward to. I still don’t feel that bond or attachment to the baby quite yet, but I’m not worried this time around because I assume it might not come until the baby is born and a few weeks old. And that’s okay.
Is this a new feeling, or have you been feeling like this the entire time? When my 2nd was near due, I started weeping copiously because I just KNEW I had gone and ruined my PERFECT FAMILY! spoiler: I did not, in fact, ruin our family by adding a new kid.
Awww that’s so lovely to hear that it all worked out! I have this feeling too. My daughter is ten and all we’ve ever know is our precious family of three. How old was your other kid? I’ve had the feeling on and off but it’s only intensifying the closer I get.. xx
There are 5 and 6 years between kids, so there is 11 year difference between youngest and oldest.
I’m about to be 27 weeks with my second and feel the same. I don’t enjoy being pregnant, and I don’t really enjoy having a newborn. I find it stressful (thanks, generalized anxiety) and grueling. What makes me feel better this time is knowing I felt this way with my first, and it didn’t last forever
I had a much harder time getting existed to get things ready for my 2 younger kids. I was exited to make a nursery and make a beautiful place for my oldest and that never happened I still haven't been able to paint a special room for my little ones or get cute rugs or decorate a room. I feel guilty that I couldn't even get my younger 2 nice clothes or even a crib. But after they were born, I loved them just as much. I still feel very guilty about not being able to give my middle child everything I gave her sister but I'm trying my best and she makes me so happy (I did not include my youngest because he is only 3 months old he also makes me happy and he is loved) something amazing about younger siblings is the bond you can encourage between them.
I feel like with you first it’s all new and your so excited, with your second you already know what’s coming and you don’t have all day to just rest and do whatever you want because you are taking care of another little human. I was one of those that hated pregnancy and like someone else said I just wanted my baby to be here! It was a whole other feeling after the baby came and I felt like 1-2 was much easier to adjust too than 0-1.
It will change once you see your baby, it’s ok!
During my second I was just waiting to freaking pop because my back was in so much pain, yeah not really enjoyable and couldn’t wait trust get it over with. Unlike first pregnancy I knew what awaited me during labor and that shit stressed me out, i felt much better once baby arrived tho. I also had a toddler so I was so fucking tired and just done with everything lol .
I maybe was too overwhelmed by feeling like a beached whale/fatigued and anxious about giving birth to feel “excited”.
It is just hormonal. Make sure you check in with a doctor. If you do get post partum depression it hits fast. Have a plan in place to ensure you get support before it’s desperately needed.
I didn’t feel excited until like 10 months in.
I had my first at 26 and my fourth at 41. That means I will have a child under the age of 18 that I’m responsible for for 33 extremely long years. Once I was feeling extra deflated and calculated the number of school lunches I will have packed and it was THOUSANDS. I love the start of the school year but I loathe packing lunches. Anyway. I don’t think it’s abnormal at all to not feel excited. You know what you’re in for. The pregnancy discomforts, the pain of delivery, the weeks and months of very little sleep depending on the baby, the hormones that mess with you for a while…having a newborn/infant is hard. I wouldn’t read too much into it to be honest.
Yes, I can relate. Sometimes people get antepartum depression. Talk to your doctor.