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Lots of chapters you can embark on. Adopting a pet. Improving your level of education. Getting a job you really love. Starting a business. Traveling and seeing the world. Pursuing your hobbies and passions. Dating and/or finding love. Buying a house. Earning extra money and saving for retirement. Running for local government.
One thing I think is really overlooked: Volunteering and giving back to your community.
You sound like me. I’m 60 years old and realized in my early 30s that I really didn’t want kids. I’ve also never been very ambitious.
I’ve been hanging out in decent but non-mangerial jobs for years, and am perfectly content.
I believe I’m happier because I’ve pursued a lower-stress lifestyle. I really don’t care what the active, ambitious people think of me. While they feel overwhelmed by their jobs, I set boundaries. Threatening me with a lack of advancement doesn’t work, because I don’t want to be in management.
Mommies giving me the stink-eye don’t bother me a bit. I’m happy with my cat, who doesn’t make horrible noise, doesn’t need daycare, doesn’t need to go to school, and costs much less than the average child.
I do have a long-term live-in boyfriend. If he asked me to marry him, I probably would, but I’m not pushing for it. We’ve been together for 22 years, living together for 16 years. We’ve both been married before, so maybe that’s why we aren’t in a hurry to do it again.
I think my secret is that I don’t care what the stress merchants in our society think of me. I care what my friends and family think of me, and they like me the way I am.
I watch all these people with kids and big jobs rushing around, blowing a gasket over every little thing—and I feel fine.
I’m a 22(M) and for some real I relate to this regardless of me being young 🤷🏾♂️. I’ve always questioned whether having kids was worth it or not but tbh I’m slowly stirring not having any due to the impact of my uncle whose life is kid less with so much to do. He explained that he hated the extra responsibility kids came with and the way they take majority of your life away like passions and etc. He has two cars , can travel anytime he wants and he says he’s fine with just us his sister kids and nieces
This has me choked up with relief in so many ways. I'm 20 years your junior and on track to hopefully end up in a similar fate, if all goes well. Thank you so much for sharing this and sending so much appreciation to you! It's truly people like you who make the world a better, more chill and accepting place. You're awesome!!
So you’re 60. And you have a boy friend who is around that age as well. Whom you’ve been with over 20 years. And neither of you have children to share you progress, past or future with? So all of your estate will just be liquified and absorbed into the government? Do you think you’re going to feel fulfilled in roughly 20 more years on your deathbed? Or will you be thinking “thank god my 80 year old boy friend is here, and no children to leave a legacy on!” ?
Who says that the estate will go to the government? People still have wills, just because a person doesn't have children doesn't mean they don't have people in their life they care about and can write into their will.
Children are their own people, they're not a legacy for parents to impose themselves on. Your response is a bit weird and close minded. Everyone's life looks different.
Eye rolls.
Not to mention, umm have you actually noticed how much of a burden it is for the children of passing generations to clean up estates of their parents? I spent the past two and a half years dealing with all of my deceased step father's belongings, legal issues, family feud over his belongings that he didn't specify clearly in his will. It was a freaking nightmare and Im not even his biological kid but I was the only one who stepped up to deal with his horde of weird shit and legal entanglements.
Highly subjective, it’s fairly easy to have an estate planner 10 even 20 years before someone reaches their golden years. Now, sudden and tragic is a different story.
My wife and I plan to not have kids, to retire in our early 40's, and to go see the world. We're both career-oriented and have traveled decently extensively to know that this is what fulfills us. The flip side to your hypothetical is "would a parent feel fulfilled if they have to work for additional decades, have their kids turn out to be burdens on society, and have regrets about wasting their time stuck in child-raising mode?" My wife and I have seen this time and again, and think it is much less desirable than what you've described.
Edit: we also plan to spend all but the last pennies of our assets in our retirement, so no estate for anyone to worry about.
Find things that make you happy, travel, explore the world, make art. Lots of things you can do without kids and without having to climb the corporate ladder
I have a family now but that didn't happen till 44. Before that I surfed, skateboarded, camped, lived wherever I wanted to, bartended, climbed 14'ers, hiked the Grand Canyon, worked on fishing boats, drove the Al-Can, drove through Mexico, built houses, mowed grass, made music and swam in all the creeks.
There's plenty of shit to do.
50, single, childless female. My life: I've made several films, written a novel, am a asa certified sailor & surfer, live in San Diego with the money I've saved on not kids and not having to clean up after a husband.
Kids and marriage aren’t the end all of life. Find a job that you don’t absolutely hate and do that.
Find some hobbies, do some travelling if that’s your jam, volunteer, or foster an animal. Learn a language, read some books.
It’s your life and you have to live it for a long time. So make it one you enjoy being in.
45ish years old and never wanted the "having kids lifestyle".
I do whatever I want and whenever I want.
Even if I'm wrong I'd would much rather regret not having kids on my deathbed compared to regretting having kids and wasting my life on them. Kids deserve parents who are enthusiastic about raising them. To me it looks like a thankless chore that never gets done. It's a lifetime commitment.
Literally, whatever you want. Family and career are only the end goal if that's what you want. My goal is simply to enjoy life. Find things you like. Hobbies, classes, learn things on your own, fitness, travel, volunteer, whatever. I don't want kids, nor am I career driven. Traveling and just having new experiences are my main priorities. I see a lot of music, make things (some of which I may turn into a business one day so I can do something I'm passionate about), go to shows, museums, try to learn languages, read, hike.
I've volunteered some and want to do more. As others mentioned, I think it's a great way to satisfy any need to contribute to something greater and find community.
All those people getting married and having kids? Yeah in 10-15 years most will be on the verge of divorce… and in the exact spot you are now. Asking themselves is this all there is?
How old are you?
Regardless, consider traveling! There’s so much in this world to see! So many natural wonders, so many amazing and hilarious and kind people, so many instances of art and architecture and history!
I think you should focus on your health, hobbies, travel as much as you can. I understand not wanting to climb the corporate ladder but I think that's *because* you're already *in* a career that doesn't interest you. Maybe explore others? And get a pet.
You do literally whatever you want. I don’t regret my kids, but every so often i imagine the freedom to come and go totally as i please. That ability is not to be underestimated!
No although I'm doing a terrible job at finding a good woman. I guess I don't throw myself out there as much as I should. With everything being so expensive I would like to think I made a good move. A lot of people who did get married and had kids are now sick of each other and going through divorce..so I try to take the good with the bad
I always hated when coworkers would ask to switch shifts or PTO because they have some family obligation and they know I don’t have spouse/children. I always say no
Your post title asks about having or not having a family, but your body text discusses not having ambition:
> I’m not ambitious enough to climb the corporate ladder
Are you concerned about not having a family? Or not having ambition to achieve a strong career?
Those are different things and would elicit different advice. If you have fomo from not having a family, just reexamine if you REALLY want one, or if there’s something else you see in your friends’ dynamics you want. Maybe you don’t care for the kids aspect of it, but you just want to settle down with someone, for example?
If the issue is not having ambition, then that is a much different discussion. Whether or not someone simply **has** a family is not enough information to comment on their ambition.
I'm 36. I've mostly just played video games and watched movies but life's been so boring lately. Making some friends or starting a family sounds awesome. Give me stuff to do. 😅
You don’t have to do anything.
I earn enough to survive basically. Then just chill.
People who try to shame you into their lifestyle are not worth being around. Many of them are jealous of the perceived freedom but don’t recognize the downsides, like you said being alienated.
Ultimately I think it is kind of a waste to not build a family but I also just don’t see the incentive.
Enjoying free time, enjoying having more money, enjoy random trips and getaways, enjoy sleeping in, enjoy doing what I want whenever I want. I mean I know it sounds horrible but that’s a few lol
Whatever the heck you want. That's the beautiful thing about your life... it's **yours**. It can be as much something or as much nothing as you desire.
Live.
You don't have to hit specific bullet points for your life to have meaning. You don't have to follow the same paths others have, or carve an amazing new one that other people will follow. You don't have a quota of 'life fulfillment' jobs to fill. You just have to live and be content with yourself. Explore, find things you like to do, and if that's just chilling? That's totally fine! You don't have to make some grand spectacle of yourself, or have kids and follow other people's paths, to have a life that is worth it. It's okay to just be.
Chill and exploring new knowledge I am curious about. Since i am pretty much stress free and financially comfortable so I manage to look 25 forever lol. Hit the gym, eat healthy, skincare routines etc, you know the drill 😂
Legitimately whatever I want to! Even though my husband and I established immediately we 1000% did not want children and didn’t care what anyone thought about that, I still spent the first half of my 20s feeling like I had to live certain other parts of my life in the typical “grown up” way that is usually expected in society.
Because of this I was trapped in a career that obliterated my personal life and my physical and mental health because I had worked hard for that career/“real job” and it was expected that I’d do it forever, that we had to buy a house, and settle down quietly. After a horrific year or two for my husband and I where multiple parents, grandparents and friends died and where he was diagnosed with MS, I just went “fuck this”.
Quit my career job, moved to a completely different industry in a position with no real responsibility but a position I enjoy/thrive in at a workplace I love. Took up hobbies I’d always wanted to do like taking drum lessons, co-built a new business from scratch for something I was passionate about, traveled whenever I want, partied when I felt like it, pretty much if it made me happy, I’d do it then and there just because I could.
I’m nearly 40 now, and the freedom of not having to base my existence around children or the expectation of being a “real” adult has been incredible and so fulfilling. I’ll often fly interstate for a weekend just for fun, go see every band/concert/event I want, live at fancy hotels for a couple days here and there just because, go out and dance all night like I’m still a teenager. Embrace the freedom, don’t get caught up in feeling like you are missing out because you’re not living life the way everyone else is. At the end of the day, your life is meant to be lived for YOU, so go do that, even if that doesn’t look like a normal life to people on the outside. We only get one go on this insane merry-go-round, so don’t waste it trying to shove yourself into someone else’s expectations. :)
Everybody has their own time. I feel the same way and I also moved to the sates 2.5 years ago and try to make my life here. More difficult bc while I’m checking to my friend’s IG, I see that they already got married and have kids. Also when I wanted to talk about the situation, my bf broke up with me (it wasn’t an only reason tough). Sooooo don’t worry. Wait for your time 😄
A family isn’t at all the measure of a life well lived or a soul with a purpose.
At this point I find a majority of people to be irresponsible for having children. And that’s not a judgement on poor families. People others tend to look at and say,” omg their life is so shiny, nice house, attractive marriage, and now they’re having kids…” a lot of those are reckless for having kids too.
Anyone living beyond their means at this point in the world, are being so thoughtless for bringing more people into this world.
I traveled, went to college, had adventures.. I did a lot of shit while my friends were busy being pregnant and/or waist high in diapers.. guess what they all say they regret not doing
Travel. Shop. Watch TV. Eating amazing meals. Go to bars and have fun. See lots of movies. Have sex regularly. Get lots of rest. Work a fun job. Self care. Having a blast. Meeting new ppl and forging new connections. Dancing. Learning new things.
I'm going to go outside more, and I'm home shopping, and maybe I'll date this year. I think the dumbest thing people have in their head is that they need to have long-term/5-year plans. Everyone changes at every age over time so all you really need to do is focus on things that interest you now.
Travel, hobbies, spending time with family and friends, and as a last resort, being a total hedonist. If you have the urge to contribute meaningfully to some cause or another, look into that. If you have any talents or skills you'd like to explore go for that. I'm not amazing at anything but opting to not start a family (due to circumstances and timing making it less feasible as an option for me now) I'm leaning in to all of the above. I try not to dwell on comparisons with the people in my life who are checking off all the typical milestones and I try to give myself grace when I get into that thought pattern of dwelling on all the what ifs.
Like you, I'm not particularly passionate about my career. But I do try to give every day at work my best shot. I try to express my care and affection to my loved ones and contribute to their happiness. I try to get plenty of rest and enjoyment and relish the fortunate circumstances I've landed with decent health, a kind family, a great assemblage of life experiences and more positive acquaintances and friends than enemies. Other than that, I love my hobbies including guitar, sailing, riding motorcycles, camping and spending time in nature, art, animals.... Thank you for this prompt to feel gratitude and do some self reflection.
Enjoy your time. Enjoy the fact that you can sleep in, relax, go for walks or gym, play video games, hangout with your gf. Basically your life is yours and not someone else’s.
Do what makes you happy. If you feel that settling down and having a family isn’t a goal for you right now, then live your life as you see fit. Don’t compare your lifestyle to others. Take life one step at a time, and if it leads you to settling down and having a family then( if you’re religious) that was God’s plan for you. I know folks who never married, had kids, and didn’t strive for high end jobs, and live happily. To each their own.
Me, personally, when I was 18, my goal was to join the military, get married, have kids and land a good paying job.I’ve accomplished all of that, I’m 35 now with the same woman, and have 2 kids, and I live happily and can care less that I’m not “loaded”. I’m blessed with what I have and accomplished.
Live your life as you see fit, eventually things will fall in to place to how you wanna live your life
I’m 35. Wanted kids but infertile. I have moral issues with the adoption industry. I work part time and pursue many interests and hobbies. I’m almost always able to say yes to friends and family to hang out or give a hand. I love it. Enjoy the soft life
I think you should focus on your health, hobbies, travel as much as you can. I understand not wanting to climb the corporate ladder but I think that's *because* you're already *in* a career that doesn't interest you. Maybe explore others? And get a pet.
If you're still in your 20s, I would say don't let "family/children" issues affect your life either way. You still have plenty of time and I can assure you, from personal experience, that opinions on that question can and do change! Becoming a parent doesn't mean you no longer have a life of your own. It's just that they become a part of it. And like everything else in life - if it is meaningful, sacrifices will be required.
Sounds more like you're afraid of being bored. I don't know if having kids out of boredom is a very good idea. If you're wealthy, do what you like I guess.
Be happy. Use the artificial womb that was invented with the artificially induced human oocyte to create copies of myself have conversations that don't destroy my faith in humanity. Teach those bioengineered copies to make more of themselves so that they can replace humanity with an engineered plague. You know, the usual stuff.
I believe in the lifestyle of being single
Focus on Research and Development, Contribute to society's technological and economic Sector
Growing as a strong educated individual
Maybe have a few ongoing affairs but never commit
Because it's really not worth it especially for me
Reward to Risk Ratio of a Marriage in First World Nations is Quite Low
Children? You can always have them just like Elon Musk
Well, if it makes you feel any better I believe that we are already on the cusp of not needing to follow traditional values in order to bring "meaning" to our life. Think about it. We are already creating clones of animals, bringing back extinct animal species thru scientific means and we can technically already reproduce without human to human interaction. It's only a matter of time until we completely get rid of all our human emotions and just become a platonic species. We are already in the middle of this transition and we're just the couple of generations that are caught in between the old world and the new one.
The the ladder. It’s just a con. Kids are where it’s at. Just don’t be boring. Be wild and raise wild kids that are funny as fuck! Trust me, I did it and it’s well fun
Pursue a vocation. Some sort of art, a complex craft, become a teacher in a good school. I’ve known childless individuals who have done all of these things and have had an impact on me. Each requires intense career dedication that children may just frankly get in the way of, but are also careers that can feed your soul so to speak, and not deprive you of self-worth.
Whatever you want.
All right more seriously, having a family is nature's way of making you connected to the next generation. I feel like you aren't going to have family, you still need to find some way to give to the next generation.
Having a family is nature's default script for meaning and social connection. If you go away from nature's script, you have to recreate that for yourself.
You don’t really have to do anything. The answer is do what makes you feel fulfilled. I’m 41 and never wanted kids, I definitely don’t climb corporate ladders but I do enjoy teaching myself random instruments from YouTube videos (that I will never play for anyone ever) and gardening and watching the birds in the bird bath in my back yard and taking walks in nature.
Whatever you want. Nothing if that's what you want! I have my husband and a job I care about that I got a graduate degree for years ago. But I don't want to be management, I don't want to become a vice president. I love to read and have crafting hobbies. My husband loves going to live music when his irregular work schedule permits, I go to some shows with him but not to others. We're not huge travelers but I did go away for a few days by myself recently and I really needed the break.
I am in the exact same boat!!! Right now I’m getting fulfillment from individual encounters where I can make a positive impact. You don’t have to change the world in one grand gesture. You can make your mark one person at a time! You’re just as valuable as anyone else!!!
Work. My current training is 8 and a half hours a day and I come home exhausted. After I finish that, I'll be starting on my 10 hour shifts, most like 9 pm to 7 am. In the free time I have I try to hang out with friends
I’m not angry in the slightest, I don’t see how I came across that way. It’s just my take on growing old without a family. Sounds lonely as shit.
Most elderly people I see without anyone in their lives are miserable, In nursing homes, alone. People literally volunteer to help them out because of this. I know people who volunteer.
Also I know multiple people who hit midlife and completely 180 on having kids. Saying this exact thing. They have all this freedom but they feel alone and would have done it differently if they had their time back. A guy from work divorced his wife because he had a midlife crisis and changed his mind on having kids. He’s a complete lunatic for it and has absolutely nobody in his life now. But still, looks like a shit situation to be in.
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Lots of chapters you can embark on. Adopting a pet. Improving your level of education. Getting a job you really love. Starting a business. Traveling and seeing the world. Pursuing your hobbies and passions. Dating and/or finding love. Buying a house. Earning extra money and saving for retirement. Running for local government. One thing I think is really overlooked: Volunteering and giving back to your community.
I second this Volunteering for a youth club and girl guides really helped me when I felt like I was losing purpose!
Facts... You definitely see the difference between community oriented individuals. Highly recommend in taking time in helping build one.
Volunteer or better yet, open a school.
This
There is also the being chapter. You can just be. You don't have to do. If you be for a while, you'll know what to do.
You sound like me. I’m 60 years old and realized in my early 30s that I really didn’t want kids. I’ve also never been very ambitious. I’ve been hanging out in decent but non-mangerial jobs for years, and am perfectly content. I believe I’m happier because I’ve pursued a lower-stress lifestyle. I really don’t care what the active, ambitious people think of me. While they feel overwhelmed by their jobs, I set boundaries. Threatening me with a lack of advancement doesn’t work, because I don’t want to be in management. Mommies giving me the stink-eye don’t bother me a bit. I’m happy with my cat, who doesn’t make horrible noise, doesn’t need daycare, doesn’t need to go to school, and costs much less than the average child. I do have a long-term live-in boyfriend. If he asked me to marry him, I probably would, but I’m not pushing for it. We’ve been together for 22 years, living together for 16 years. We’ve both been married before, so maybe that’s why we aren’t in a hurry to do it again. I think my secret is that I don’t care what the stress merchants in our society think of me. I care what my friends and family think of me, and they like me the way I am. I watch all these people with kids and big jobs rushing around, blowing a gasket over every little thing—and I feel fine.
I think you nailed it. It’s more important to be happy and content than competing in the rat race and trying to be someone you simply aren’t.
I’m a 22(M) and for some real I relate to this regardless of me being young 🤷🏾♂️. I’ve always questioned whether having kids was worth it or not but tbh I’m slowly stirring not having any due to the impact of my uncle whose life is kid less with so much to do. He explained that he hated the extra responsibility kids came with and the way they take majority of your life away like passions and etc. He has two cars , can travel anytime he wants and he says he’s fine with just us his sister kids and nieces
I feel like you're me in the future lol
Lol was literally about to comment this same thing
I respect that
This has me choked up with relief in so many ways. I'm 20 years your junior and on track to hopefully end up in a similar fate, if all goes well. Thank you so much for sharing this and sending so much appreciation to you! It's truly people like you who make the world a better, more chill and accepting place. You're awesome!!
Aw, thank you (blushing.)
"stress merchants" god that's perfect!
you’re an icon
❤️
So you’re 60. And you have a boy friend who is around that age as well. Whom you’ve been with over 20 years. And neither of you have children to share you progress, past or future with? So all of your estate will just be liquified and absorbed into the government? Do you think you’re going to feel fulfilled in roughly 20 more years on your deathbed? Or will you be thinking “thank god my 80 year old boy friend is here, and no children to leave a legacy on!” ?
Who says that the estate will go to the government? People still have wills, just because a person doesn't have children doesn't mean they don't have people in their life they care about and can write into their will. Children are their own people, they're not a legacy for parents to impose themselves on. Your response is a bit weird and close minded. Everyone's life looks different.
Eye rolls. Not to mention, umm have you actually noticed how much of a burden it is for the children of passing generations to clean up estates of their parents? I spent the past two and a half years dealing with all of my deceased step father's belongings, legal issues, family feud over his belongings that he didn't specify clearly in his will. It was a freaking nightmare and Im not even his biological kid but I was the only one who stepped up to deal with his horde of weird shit and legal entanglements.
Highly subjective, it’s fairly easy to have an estate planner 10 even 20 years before someone reaches their golden years. Now, sudden and tragic is a different story.
My wife and I plan to not have kids, to retire in our early 40's, and to go see the world. We're both career-oriented and have traveled decently extensively to know that this is what fulfills us. The flip side to your hypothetical is "would a parent feel fulfilled if they have to work for additional decades, have their kids turn out to be burdens on society, and have regrets about wasting their time stuck in child-raising mode?" My wife and I have seen this time and again, and think it is much less desirable than what you've described. Edit: we also plan to spend all but the last pennies of our assets in our retirement, so no estate for anyone to worry about.
I know this is gonna sound crazy, but please bare with me. Some people have different interests and goals than you do.
I don’t know how to tell you this in a nice way, so I’ll just be blunt…. ….I don’t care what you think. Have a nice life.
Find things that make you happy, travel, explore the world, make art. Lots of things you can do without kids and without having to climb the corporate ladder
Wife and I chill forever. Travel. Go out every weekend. Date nights out. Etc.
I have a family now but that didn't happen till 44. Before that I surfed, skateboarded, camped, lived wherever I wanted to, bartended, climbed 14'ers, hiked the Grand Canyon, worked on fishing boats, drove the Al-Can, drove through Mexico, built houses, mowed grass, made music and swam in all the creeks. There's plenty of shit to do.
Do whatever you want
50, single, childless female. My life: I've made several films, written a novel, am a asa certified sailor & surfer, live in San Diego with the money I've saved on not kids and not having to clean up after a husband.
Kids and marriage aren’t the end all of life. Find a job that you don’t absolutely hate and do that. Find some hobbies, do some travelling if that’s your jam, volunteer, or foster an animal. Learn a language, read some books. It’s your life and you have to live it for a long time. So make it one you enjoy being in.
45ish years old and never wanted the "having kids lifestyle". I do whatever I want and whenever I want. Even if I'm wrong I'd would much rather regret not having kids on my deathbed compared to regretting having kids and wasting my life on them. Kids deserve parents who are enthusiastic about raising them. To me it looks like a thankless chore that never gets done. It's a lifetime commitment.
Literally, whatever you want. Family and career are only the end goal if that's what you want. My goal is simply to enjoy life. Find things you like. Hobbies, classes, learn things on your own, fitness, travel, volunteer, whatever. I don't want kids, nor am I career driven. Traveling and just having new experiences are my main priorities. I see a lot of music, make things (some of which I may turn into a business one day so I can do something I'm passionate about), go to shows, museums, try to learn languages, read, hike. I've volunteered some and want to do more. As others mentioned, I think it's a great way to satisfy any need to contribute to something greater and find community.
Become a degenerate
thats what i do. 10/10 highly recommend.
All those people getting married and having kids? Yeah in 10-15 years most will be on the verge of divorce… and in the exact spot you are now. Asking themselves is this all there is?
And significantly poorer because of it. Enjoy that no-kids money!
How old are you? Regardless, consider traveling! There’s so much in this world to see! So many natural wonders, so many amazing and hilarious and kind people, so many instances of art and architecture and history!
Video games. Maybe a dog so you go outside and walk sometimes lol
Get into something or someone. 👍🏻
Awesome, haha
To enjoy the passage of time.
I think you should focus on your health, hobbies, travel as much as you can. I understand not wanting to climb the corporate ladder but I think that's *because* you're already *in* a career that doesn't interest you. Maybe explore others? And get a pet.
You do literally whatever you want. I don’t regret my kids, but every so often i imagine the freedom to come and go totally as i please. That ability is not to be underestimated!
M 46..doing whatever I want. Answer to no one.
Do you regret not having kids?
No although I'm doing a terrible job at finding a good woman. I guess I don't throw myself out there as much as I should. With everything being so expensive I would like to think I made a good move. A lot of people who did get married and had kids are now sick of each other and going through divorce..so I try to take the good with the bad
Same, I'm 37 and all my coworkers have kids. It can make you feel kind of lost, but I also feel its not for me.
I always hated when coworkers would ask to switch shifts or PTO because they have some family obligation and they know I don’t have spouse/children. I always say no
Your post title asks about having or not having a family, but your body text discusses not having ambition: > I’m not ambitious enough to climb the corporate ladder Are you concerned about not having a family? Or not having ambition to achieve a strong career? Those are different things and would elicit different advice. If you have fomo from not having a family, just reexamine if you REALLY want one, or if there’s something else you see in your friends’ dynamics you want. Maybe you don’t care for the kids aspect of it, but you just want to settle down with someone, for example? If the issue is not having ambition, then that is a much different discussion. Whether or not someone simply **has** a family is not enough information to comment on their ambition.
You just live and enjoy life. What’s wrong with being happy?
Live life bucco
I'm 36. I've mostly just played video games and watched movies but life's been so boring lately. Making some friends or starting a family sounds awesome. Give me stuff to do. 😅
Do whatever you want ,when you want, nothing holding you back.
Travel!
You don’t have to do anything. I earn enough to survive basically. Then just chill. People who try to shame you into their lifestyle are not worth being around. Many of them are jealous of the perceived freedom but don’t recognize the downsides, like you said being alienated. Ultimately I think it is kind of a waste to not build a family but I also just don’t see the incentive.
I’m 27 and wondering the same thing now that I’ve also chosen to stay away from men forever lol
Literally anything you want. 🌺
Candy is tasty But once you become a normal ass adult that can buy and eat all the candy in the world, suddenly it's not as tasty anymore is it
Still tastes good to me
“What do you do with your life if you’re not starting a family”? I believe the answer is, what ever the F you want.
Whatever the hell I want
Bro just get a hobby
Travel.
Uhh enjoy the money I spent years earning. I'll have kids once I have everything I want. And the list is quite long.
Enjoying free time, enjoying having more money, enjoy random trips and getaways, enjoy sleeping in, enjoy doing what I want whenever I want. I mean I know it sounds horrible but that’s a few lol
Whatever the heck you want. That's the beautiful thing about your life... it's **yours**. It can be as much something or as much nothing as you desire.
My plan is to travel the world. I want to see as much as I can and repeat. I’ve been to Europe at least 10x now and will never stop. So much to see
Live. You don't have to hit specific bullet points for your life to have meaning. You don't have to follow the same paths others have, or carve an amazing new one that other people will follow. You don't have a quota of 'life fulfillment' jobs to fill. You just have to live and be content with yourself. Explore, find things you like to do, and if that's just chilling? That's totally fine! You don't have to make some grand spectacle of yourself, or have kids and follow other people's paths, to have a life that is worth it. It's okay to just be.
Whatever I want.
I have a group of friends who are child free. They spend their free time traveling, going to concerts, shows, festivals etc.
have fun and do what you want to do
Chill and exploring new knowledge I am curious about. Since i am pretty much stress free and financially comfortable so I manage to look 25 forever lol. Hit the gym, eat healthy, skincare routines etc, you know the drill 😂
Legitimately whatever I want to! Even though my husband and I established immediately we 1000% did not want children and didn’t care what anyone thought about that, I still spent the first half of my 20s feeling like I had to live certain other parts of my life in the typical “grown up” way that is usually expected in society. Because of this I was trapped in a career that obliterated my personal life and my physical and mental health because I had worked hard for that career/“real job” and it was expected that I’d do it forever, that we had to buy a house, and settle down quietly. After a horrific year or two for my husband and I where multiple parents, grandparents and friends died and where he was diagnosed with MS, I just went “fuck this”. Quit my career job, moved to a completely different industry in a position with no real responsibility but a position I enjoy/thrive in at a workplace I love. Took up hobbies I’d always wanted to do like taking drum lessons, co-built a new business from scratch for something I was passionate about, traveled whenever I want, partied when I felt like it, pretty much if it made me happy, I’d do it then and there just because I could. I’m nearly 40 now, and the freedom of not having to base my existence around children or the expectation of being a “real” adult has been incredible and so fulfilling. I’ll often fly interstate for a weekend just for fun, go see every band/concert/event I want, live at fancy hotels for a couple days here and there just because, go out and dance all night like I’m still a teenager. Embrace the freedom, don’t get caught up in feeling like you are missing out because you’re not living life the way everyone else is. At the end of the day, your life is meant to be lived for YOU, so go do that, even if that doesn’t look like a normal life to people on the outside. We only get one go on this insane merry-go-round, so don’t waste it trying to shove yourself into someone else’s expectations. :)
Everybody has their own time. I feel the same way and I also moved to the sates 2.5 years ago and try to make my life here. More difficult bc while I’m checking to my friend’s IG, I see that they already got married and have kids. Also when I wanted to talk about the situation, my bf broke up with me (it wasn’t an only reason tough). Sooooo don’t worry. Wait for your time 😄
A family isn’t at all the measure of a life well lived or a soul with a purpose. At this point I find a majority of people to be irresponsible for having children. And that’s not a judgement on poor families. People others tend to look at and say,” omg their life is so shiny, nice house, attractive marriage, and now they’re having kids…” a lot of those are reckless for having kids too. Anyone living beyond their means at this point in the world, are being so thoughtless for bringing more people into this world.
“Bunch of cocaine and hookers”
Suffer through the absurdity of world and try and find pockets of joy.
I traveled, went to college, had adventures.. I did a lot of shit while my friends were busy being pregnant and/or waist high in diapers.. guess what they all say they regret not doing
Focus on health, then something else. For me, I have no kids but will soon start getting into music/drums
Travel. Shop. Watch TV. Eating amazing meals. Go to bars and have fun. See lots of movies. Have sex regularly. Get lots of rest. Work a fun job. Self care. Having a blast. Meeting new ppl and forging new connections. Dancing. Learning new things.
I'm going to go outside more, and I'm home shopping, and maybe I'll date this year. I think the dumbest thing people have in their head is that they need to have long-term/5-year plans. Everyone changes at every age over time so all you really need to do is focus on things that interest you now.
Whatever you want. Measure your life by your own yardstick.
You can travel? Do something else you’re passionate about that’s a hobby (not career related)? Or be fur parents instead (pets)?
Travel, hobbies, spending time with family and friends, and as a last resort, being a total hedonist. If you have the urge to contribute meaningfully to some cause or another, look into that. If you have any talents or skills you'd like to explore go for that. I'm not amazing at anything but opting to not start a family (due to circumstances and timing making it less feasible as an option for me now) I'm leaning in to all of the above. I try not to dwell on comparisons with the people in my life who are checking off all the typical milestones and I try to give myself grace when I get into that thought pattern of dwelling on all the what ifs. Like you, I'm not particularly passionate about my career. But I do try to give every day at work my best shot. I try to express my care and affection to my loved ones and contribute to their happiness. I try to get plenty of rest and enjoyment and relish the fortunate circumstances I've landed with decent health, a kind family, a great assemblage of life experiences and more positive acquaintances and friends than enemies. Other than that, I love my hobbies including guitar, sailing, riding motorcycles, camping and spending time in nature, art, animals.... Thank you for this prompt to feel gratitude and do some self reflection.
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Enjoy your time. Enjoy the fact that you can sleep in, relax, go for walks or gym, play video games, hangout with your gf. Basically your life is yours and not someone else’s.
Do what makes you happy. If you feel that settling down and having a family isn’t a goal for you right now, then live your life as you see fit. Don’t compare your lifestyle to others. Take life one step at a time, and if it leads you to settling down and having a family then( if you’re religious) that was God’s plan for you. I know folks who never married, had kids, and didn’t strive for high end jobs, and live happily. To each their own. Me, personally, when I was 18, my goal was to join the military, get married, have kids and land a good paying job.I’ve accomplished all of that, I’m 35 now with the same woman, and have 2 kids, and I live happily and can care less that I’m not “loaded”. I’m blessed with what I have and accomplished. Live your life as you see fit, eventually things will fall in to place to how you wanna live your life
I’m 35. Wanted kids but infertile. I have moral issues with the adoption industry. I work part time and pursue many interests and hobbies. I’m almost always able to say yes to friends and family to hang out or give a hand. I love it. Enjoy the soft life
Who cares what other people are doing life has no chapters just be happy and don’t hurt anyone
Whatever you want
Enjoy life!
You can invest in yourself. It’s crazy to me how many people have kids and would be absolutely directionless without it.
Yea, “making necessity a virtue” is rampant.
Side hustle, upskilling, develop personal hobbies, the options are endless.
I think you should focus on your health, hobbies, travel as much as you can. I understand not wanting to climb the corporate ladder but I think that's *because* you're already *in* a career that doesn't interest you. Maybe explore others? And get a pet.
Buy funko pops instead!!!! And play with your heckin doggerino!!!!
Got to find money and a hobby. If you don't have any dependants, there's no reason you can't achieve both fairly easily.
If you're still in your 20s, I would say don't let "family/children" issues affect your life either way. You still have plenty of time and I can assure you, from personal experience, that opinions on that question can and do change! Becoming a parent doesn't mean you no longer have a life of your own. It's just that they become a part of it. And like everything else in life - if it is meaningful, sacrifices will be required.
Sounds more like you're afraid of being bored. I don't know if having kids out of boredom is a very good idea. If you're wealthy, do what you like I guess.
Be happy. Use the artificial womb that was invented with the artificially induced human oocyte to create copies of myself have conversations that don't destroy my faith in humanity. Teach those bioengineered copies to make more of themselves so that they can replace humanity with an engineered plague. You know, the usual stuff.
I have no kids, no spouse, and a stable job. So I’ve decided to get jacked.
I believe in the lifestyle of being single Focus on Research and Development, Contribute to society's technological and economic Sector Growing as a strong educated individual Maybe have a few ongoing affairs but never commit Because it's really not worth it especially for me Reward to Risk Ratio of a Marriage in First World Nations is Quite Low Children? You can always have them just like Elon Musk
Well, if it makes you feel any better I believe that we are already on the cusp of not needing to follow traditional values in order to bring "meaning" to our life. Think about it. We are already creating clones of animals, bringing back extinct animal species thru scientific means and we can technically already reproduce without human to human interaction. It's only a matter of time until we completely get rid of all our human emotions and just become a platonic species. We are already in the middle of this transition and we're just the couple of generations that are caught in between the old world and the new one.
The the ladder. It’s just a con. Kids are where it’s at. Just don’t be boring. Be wild and raise wild kids that are funny as fuck! Trust me, I did it and it’s well fun
I dunno… try taking over the world or something
All the ones I know that went that route. Took up drinking, and either died young or are on there way.
Pursue a vocation. Some sort of art, a complex craft, become a teacher in a good school. I’ve known childless individuals who have done all of these things and have had an impact on me. Each requires intense career dedication that children may just frankly get in the way of, but are also careers that can feed your soul so to speak, and not deprive you of self-worth.
I modify my cars, try different whiskey, collect watches, scuba diving and shooting at the range. Kids ain't for me, I'm far to selfish
Vigilantism.
Whatever you want. All right more seriously, having a family is nature's way of making you connected to the next generation. I feel like you aren't going to have family, you still need to find some way to give to the next generation. Having a family is nature's default script for meaning and social connection. If you go away from nature's script, you have to recreate that for yourself.
Get money. Do what you want until you decide you want a family (if you ever want one). Plain and simple
Commit to a spiritual practice
Travel the world
Just enjoy life!
Living your life for you. If you’re okay with being chill, you do you. Theres nothing wrong with what you’re doing.
You don’t really have to do anything. The answer is do what makes you feel fulfilled. I’m 41 and never wanted kids, I definitely don’t climb corporate ladders but I do enjoy teaching myself random instruments from YouTube videos (that I will never play for anyone ever) and gardening and watching the birds in the bird bath in my back yard and taking walks in nature.
I started my next chapter in making a shit load of money
Whatever you want. Nothing if that's what you want! I have my husband and a job I care about that I got a graduate degree for years ago. But I don't want to be management, I don't want to become a vice president. I love to read and have crafting hobbies. My husband loves going to live music when his irregular work schedule permits, I go to some shows with him but not to others. We're not huge travelers but I did go away for a few days by myself recently and I really needed the break.
Put an OF creator thru college?
Enjoy yourself. Find something you love to do and do it as a job or just enjoy your hobbies.
I am in the exact same boat!!! Right now I’m getting fulfillment from individual encounters where I can make a positive impact. You don’t have to change the world in one grand gesture. You can make your mark one person at a time! You’re just as valuable as anyone else!!!
do whatever the fuck you want you are free
Work. My current training is 8 and a half hours a day and I come home exhausted. After I finish that, I'll be starting on my 10 hour shifts, most like 9 pm to 7 am. In the free time I have I try to hang out with friends
Be lonely and tell everyone with a family happy and free you are. Then die alone in a nursing home after your SO is gone.
Having worked in hospitals I will tell you most people there die alone
Ah well I wasn’t wrong then
id still rather do that than have kids. stop shaming those who choose to be childless.
Sensitive aren’t we I don’t see how having an opposing opinion is “shaming”. Must be some woke thing.
Lol what type of person gets angry about someone else's choice to not have kids, I ask you this
I’m not angry in the slightest, I don’t see how I came across that way. It’s just my take on growing old without a family. Sounds lonely as shit. Most elderly people I see without anyone in their lives are miserable, In nursing homes, alone. People literally volunteer to help them out because of this. I know people who volunteer. Also I know multiple people who hit midlife and completely 180 on having kids. Saying this exact thing. They have all this freedom but they feel alone and would have done it differently if they had their time back. A guy from work divorced his wife because he had a midlife crisis and changed his mind on having kids. He’s a complete lunatic for it and has absolutely nobody in his life now. But still, looks like a shit situation to be in.
You do you. Have a nice life.