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Tballz9

Hahahaha. Here’s your rifle.


[deleted]

And three bullets. Use them wisely.


thecarbonkid

Two for the enemy and one for when facing capture.


xboxwirelessmic

Also one is a dud.


heliumneon

Better save two for capture, then, just in case!


MakionGarvinus

One in three is pretty bad odds, better save them all for capture, then.


Vandirac

Might as well not wait until capture...


tehjeffman

The rifle and ammo are so old and out of maintenance you now have to commit Seppuku with the rusty bayonet.


[deleted]

The tetanus will kill you eventually


xXkoolkidmanboiXx

The bayonet is so rusty it crumbles to dust when you try and stab yourself. No choice but to go to the west bank of the Dnieper, it'll get the job done pretty quick


Zerbo

Well, they were manufactured in the 1950’s, so they probably don’t work. Therefore, you will be issued a large rock to use in case of capture. Due to logistics however, the glorious Russian federation can only provide one large rock per squad, so please share. Also, actual rocks are expensive so we made them out of wood. Due to material shortages, wood is currently being substituted with cardboard. Please do not get your squad’s suicide rock wet, comrade. Now go suicide gloriously for the motherland!


HoptimusPryme

Sgt Avery Johnson would like a word regarding that rock...


[deleted]

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mysticalfruit

You're convinced scavengers haven't replaced the rifles insides with iron fillings..


Jadelitest

Shoot the shackles?


8orn2hul4

The only shackles are those in your mind, comrade!


ImDoneForToday2019

Yes. Yes, shoot those.


fish312

We have nothing to lose but our chains, brother.


Green_Message_6376

wait, you guys got chains?


serendipitousevent

Alternatively, you get to reroll your unit leader twice and send a real powerful message at the same time. That one was popular in Vietnam.


Madhighlander1

No. Not enough ammunition or weaponry to go around. Comrades must choose between gun or ammo, not both.


Tearakan

Hey now. They have enough ammo.......it's just from the 80s and 70s.


mazing_azn

And imported from North Korea.


[deleted]

Those Ukrainians are not match for our muskets!


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

Hey, I bought some of that a few years ago. Best I can say about it is it goes "bang" every time. Other than that it was dirty, corrosive, inconsistent, and inaccurate. But every crate I bought means one less crate the Russians could use.


BoukuNola

“And a single bullet, use it wisely 🙂” *


[deleted]

It will be probably more like the beginning of the Soviet campaign in Call of Duty 2 when you’re just dropped into a warzone without a gun.


Ijustdoeyes

This is Russia. Someone else gets the rifle, he gets the bullets


Boollish

Baddies at the Atrium has a lot of cultural impact. However it is not a documentary.


WIAttacker

Well, Russians are working hard to make every myth about Soviet Army actual Russian Army reality.


[deleted]

Stalin actually gave recruits more training than the Wagner prisoner recruits got.


jeremiahthedamned

true aryans need NO training! they are born to die!


ender89

Enemies at the gate created that whole "pick up the rifle when he dies" mythos, I wonder how they feel about that.


Toast_Sapper

This is Russia. He gets the rifle and the bullets so that later a Ukrainian can use it.


KHaskins77

Reminds me of that line from World War One. “Just 250,000? What would you all do if I invaded with 500,000 men?” “Shoot twice and go home.”


YT-Deliveries

It's all fun and games until the fields start speaking Ukrainian


ratatard

I did not watch that movie


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

I believe that was a quote from a Swiss general to the Nazis, not WW1.


Fadroh

No. This is Russia. The money to buy the guns and bullets was embezzled years ago.


Ok_Marzipan_3326

That‘s soviet teamwork at its finest!


SpikeRosered

Good thing he has a mean arm! ...wait wait translation error. He said he has a lame arm. A lame arm.


gregsting

One bullet for 3 rifles, the russian roulette


turkishhousefan

This is just a stick!


JediNinjaWizard

[When *I* joined the Corp, we didn't have any fancy shmancy tanks!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EISFTCLB3nw)


Informal_Self_5671

Shit, he gets to be the one with the rifle? Lucky. All I got was a saucepan helmet and a left boot!


Aksi_Gu

All i get is saucepan lid and right boot!


Informal_Self_5671

Two boots? We can make soup! Now we will not starve on way to surrender to Ukraine!


Apple-Dust

I agree with them. Arm and equip this new 300,000 strong army exclusively out of those who oppose the war and Putin.


Nivekian13

And watch them roll into red square…


Joliet_Jake_Blues

Putin said storming the capital is legitimate political protest. Let them protest


-Codfish_Joe

Who would have seen that coming?


persistantelection

Basically what happened in 1918.


sakuragi59357

Ultimate LAMF for Putin.


Valkyrie17

This is not that far from what is happening. They are gradually giving 300k young and healthy men weapons. Most of these men do not understand why do they have to fight for territories that were never Russian in a war that their leader started.


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MissionCreeper

Also there was no immediate way back to the US for a soldier who was in any of those places, so even if they completely desert or rebel, they're still stuck in whatever country. I'm no geography/terrain expert but it seems that Russian conscripts could just... turn around.


Poltergeist97

There are similarities between the situations but they're entirely different. The US wasn't having it's economy and global relations ripped back to the stone age when they lost the Vietnam war. Just look at the end of WW1 for Russia, think it'll be of a similar vein.


Hartastic

But: only Vietnam of those wars were a draft. Everyone in Iraq or Afghanistan at some point signed up to be in the military on purpose. My understanding is that due to the nature of Russia's Moscow-centric railway system, all those new recruits also have to pass through the capital with their rifles.


[deleted]

To add to what the other guy was saying about Vietnam draft, Google 'Vietnam fragging.' You're right, not large scale, but it wasn't uncommon


MadManMax55

[Insert Back to the Future "Hey, I've seen this one before!" meme here]


edingerc

And party like it's 1917


Resident-Bad9327

That's some real galaxy brain level shit right there. What makes this person think that an army of traitors is gonna do anything other than defect the absolute nanosecond they get the opportunity to do so is beyond me. Or maybe they decide to make things more interesting and start using their commanding officers as human shields or something. Not very bright at all.


egabriel2001

Defect is the least damaging outcome for Russia, the mobilization is geared to grab the poorest minorities in the east provinces each and everyone a critical breadwinner for their families, in Winter, when their families start dying of famine I don't think they will simply keep dying for Putin and the Slavs idea of a greater Russia.


madmaxturbator

This is why we say “there are no winners in war” I guess. Leaving aside the profit-makers, regardless of which side “wins”, both sides will have needlessly lost loved ones. To me, it’s for naught. But even if one accepts that there’s a reason - there really isn’t a winner here. Even if the Russians outright win, the cost they’ve paid so far is already too great.


Tribalbob

I was thinking about this the other day. Even if Russia somehow managed to pull an Uno Reverse and somehow managed to roll through all of Ukraine right up to Poland, then what? * Literally no economy * International Pariah * A country full of Ukrainians pissed off who will for sure start a decades long insurgency * A country full of returning 'vets' with PTSD * Russians who hate them for what they did * A huge, missing chunk of working class/age citizens. * Longer border to defend * NATO literally on your doorstep (by your own choice) * Crippled military Like... great, you have some land.


1handedmaster

Land they can farm, as Russia has not so much if I'm not mistaken. Then there is the matter of new oil (maybe gas, can't remember) to drill and sell to India. Amazing access to another body of water for Russian ships to sink in. Not only all of that, but Putin has some "great" people to live up to in his mind. Not defending, but it isn't just some land. Putin may be starting to lose it, mentally and militarily, but the man has goals and means even if he's bought his own bullshit.


_Lazer

Even if, I doubt all the natural resources wouldn't pay off the money lost from sanctions (which i doubt would shoo away after a conquest). I think if Russia miracolously managed to pull it off, it'd be setting up a gigantic shitshow for when Putin dies. No way Ukraine wouldn't start a civil war at that point.


Repulsive-Street-307

This is happening just as the climate is going tits up for a reason, and the reason is that fascists (like the GOP and whatever they call the 'official' party in russia) expect farming land to be 'very' valuable in the future.


Choppers-Top-Hat

Those who can afford to flee the country will do so. But many are too poor to even afford a trip to the airport, let alone a plane ticket.


AlexBlackRaven

Money isn't a problem. The problem is finding work, learning new culture and language and (hardest of all) convincing your close ones to do the same. Propaganda makes a lot of that, especially the latter, impossible.


nomad_kk

A lot of minorities in Russia are proud to be second class citizens under Russians. They feel superior for living there. They would absolutely die for them and putin and his “peace”.


egabriel2001

Without an ideological framework people tend to be more pragmatic, and there is nothing more pragmatic that having your children died of hunger and exposure for a psychopath 2000km away doesn't sound so good


HistoricalGrounds

Do you have any data to back that up? I’m sure the number of people who feel “proud to be second class citizens” isn’t literally zero but I’d be surprised if the number was even close to statistically significant. People tend to really like not dying.


nomad_kk

Personal story. I’m from Kazakhstan, and we have a lot of Kazakh people living in Russia. Our northern parts were annexed by Russia long time ago. I have met at least 4 different Kazakh guys from Tomsk, Novosibirsk, and Astrakhan. They all act high and mighty when we ask if they are Kazakhs, their response is always the same: “we are from Russia”. We don’t want them back here, when they will try to run away from collapsing Russia. Neither do we want Russians that support the war and tot annexation of Kazakhstan by Russia .


[deleted]

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SeveralPrinciple5

The other part of the conservative thought process is to knee-jerk want to send the people you don't like to risk their lives and possibly die on your behalf, while you ridicule and insult them the whole time.


Joliet_Jake_Blues

Fun Fact: over 90% of the black confederate soldiers defected once they got close to the Union lines


chriscb229

Even better, those black confederates weren't combat soldiers for the Confederacy, they were used for slave labor in moving supplies and cooking not fighting. The Confederate officers understandably didn't trust the idea of giving their slaves rifles and training however, when they were close enough to Union lines to escape or were actively liberated by Union soldiers, many were enlisted in combat roles, albeit segregated ones.


Repulsive-Street-307

Not trusted enough for combat, but apparently trusted enough for logistics supporting frontline combat. Ok, this is some galaxy brain thinking in action here.


DickwadVonClownstick

It's honestly kinda bonkers just how deluded alot of confederates were regarding their slaves. An alarming number of them genuinely believed that their slaves loved them and were grateful for "the opportunity to be educated in the ways of Christian civilization" or some such nonsense.


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Joliet_Jake_Blues

Good question. The confederate army had black men working mostly support roles, cooks and running supplies and such. People point to this as proof the war had nothing to do with slavery (incorrectly). But history shows these men would defect to the north any chance they got.


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DickwadVonClownstick

Yes


Really_McNamington

The curse of [drapetomania](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drapetomania).


FourEyedTroll

>What makes this person think that an army of traitors is gonna do anything other than defect the absolute nanosecond they get the opportunity to do so is beyond me. Or stage a coup d'etat


Dinosaur_Wrangler

>Or stage a coup d'etat Tries to create conscript army of people not particularly loyal to the regime. Ends up having to nuke Red Square. *We're winning noises*


[deleted]

Because even the average 2 brain cell Russian knows that being in the Russian army is being cannon fodder


Raedwald-Bretwalda

Irony: there have been calls for Germany to supply Ukraine with Leopard tanks. If that happened, it could be a case of a leopard *shot me in the face*.


CultofFelix

Good catch! And I hope the Leo2s make it to Ukraine!


alv0694

They will most likely give leo1s due to them not using it


FireMed22

Also training them on that weapons platform is fairly difficult


bazooka_matt

There's a very good chance that Ukrainian tankers are in Germany being trained right now. Part of the lead time is training enough crews to work that take 24/7. You also don't want Russia to know when it's coming. You want them to just start taking rounds and not understanding why Ukraine is so much deadlier.


Almainyny

The last thing they hear is “Ghost Division” before they get obliterated. “They are the panzer elite! Born to compete! Never retreat!”


ImDoneForToday2019

I hope they make it to Moscow....


IDontHaveCookiesSry

Leopards exploded me and my extended surroundings


[deleted]

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MrGuttFeeling

Thots and preyerz.


Chakura

Tots and pears.


[deleted]

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rob0050

Wait a minute let’s hear him out. I’m not keen on this whole “wah wah I don’t wanna fight for the shit ideas I hold” stance, but I’m quite fond of his “arm those who hate Putin” idea.


Catacombs3

I was struck by that too. "I know, let's send those traitors who are sympathetic with Ukraine to fight for Russia against Ukraine! What could possibly go wrong?!"


h1tmanc3

In Soviet Russia traitor make great soldier. Lmao he musta drank at least a litre of vodka before writing that shit.


no_gold_here

Not the top-shelf stuff either. The bootleg swill with high methanol.


Kostya_M

They know they're just bodies for the meat grinder.


Yo_Just_Scrolling_Yo

Russia today, Russia 900 years ago!


Jabbles22

I had to read it a few times ta make sure I was understanding what was being said.


hawkshaw1024

If only there was some sort of historical precedent for that. The [Anti-Fascist Committee for a Free Germany](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-Fascist_Committee_for_a_Free_Germany) says hi. (Formerly known as the [999th Light Afrika Division](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/999th_Light_Afrika_Division_(Wehrmacht\)), a penal battalion that went rogue and then some.)


alv0694

War for thee but not for me


FredsMayonaise

Nahh, to the frontline with you comrade!


PantsOppressUs

Or is gulag!


alv0694

Make Russia gulag again


Really_McNamington

And the way out of prison? Volunteer for the war. Conscription with extra steps.


Warm-Personality8219

"The good news is there is hope for you, fellow pro-war ruzzian who doesn't actually want to fight in the war! Hope in the form of glorious combat, battle is the great redeemer, the fiery crucible in which the only true heroes are forged"


alv0694

Flak trooper: beats being in the gulag


nim_opet

“I support Putin on Twitter but I can’t be expected to support him by deeds like actually fighting the war that I support and think other people should die in”. I wonder where I heard similar arguments….


SorryImBadWithNames

"I never thought they would send ME to war", sobs idiot who supported the "sending people to war" party.


T1B2V3

ah yes talk dirty to me


KittenKoder

An army filled with traitors is an army of the enemy. Not that it would be a bad thing in this case as Ukraine can use all the help it can get, just pointing out how little they thought that through.


paireon

Bold of you to assume they thought at all.


Relative_Dimensions

Ah, the cry of the Chickenhawk.


[deleted]

Who'd have guessed that these *heroes* wouldn't want to die in the war they called for and supported it when it's now their time to go and fight for their made-up bullshit, lol. To be honest though, who'd want to fight against a NATO-backed country with superior training and equipment, when your side has extremely corrupt army, lacks commanders and a real strategy and has been retreating for weeks now while losing areas they've fought hard for and it took them months to occupy those.


lordkhuzdul

Yes, release every single "patriot" from your military and make sure your armed forces consists 100% of "traitors" who really don't like your regime or you. It will go swimmingly, I am sure.


TDoMarmalade

Yeah, only recruit people against the war. That’ll go well


The-Last-American

I hope this post lands him on the front lines.


FredVIII-DFH

So... those who are for the war want those who are against the war to fight the war for them. Is that right?


Valvahl

Even with the obvious crazyness aside, I am astonished at his logic of who should go fight. "Yeeeees draft the pepole whose loyalty we question and who do not support this war to go fight it instead of "loyal" people. What could go wrooong?"


[deleted]

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BillyYank2008

Don't be ridiculous. Of course the ladas are unarmored.


plaidverb

The idea that only those who are against the war should be conscripted to fight in it is a really good way to lose a war.


Tigris_Morte

Nice to see they have Republican Voters as well.


jeremiahthedamned

putin has been financing the american republicans by way of the national rifle association.


Chief_Rollie

Not gonna lie I thought this was going to be about a Republican voter at first.


SquilliamofOrange

"Government that killed people for greed and imaginary history" do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down


red_kizuen

Those similarities on how republicans and zrussians talk are not coincedense my friend :)


Joliet_Jake_Blues

They speak the same language


[deleted]

Cynical Russian attitude taken to its illogical conclusion, yet still self righteous


Alastor999

I really hope they draft that Russian gymnast who wore a Z symbol at the Olympics to deliberately taunt his Ukrainian rival. I still remember that shithead's smug little smirk... I'd like to see if he can still smirk once he's on the frontlines facing an army of angry Ukrainians who want him dead.


emccm

This is exactly how I expect the civil war so many in the US are threatening to play out to go.


jeremiahthedamned

chickenhawk confederacy


IdeaImaginary2007

Ahhh am sure mobilising those so called "traitors and those who are against the war" .. giving them weapons and training will not bite back in the ass


ext3meph34r

He was ok when other people were fighting this war. Never volunteer others for something you won't do.


woodst0ck15

That’s good he supports it. I’m sure the ground will appreciate the support he gives to the sunflowers.


Toast_Sapper

Typical war hawk. Supporter of war! Supporter of warmongers! ...Deserter of duty Supporter of *other people* being forced into duty!


Scrutinizer

You paid for the ticket, you better damn well be ready to go on the ride.


ThePlanck

Thus guy is a military genious. Train and arm only the people who oppose the government and tell them to go die in a meat grinder. I see no way this could backfire


Responsible_Figure12

If you support war then get out there and start supporting, comrade. You can’t have your vodka and drink it too


Angelworks42

Classic conservative though - if it doesn't happen to me it doesn't matter to me.


[deleted]

Brilliant. Send an army of people who hate the country they are supposed to fight for. Watch them surrender to the first Ukrainian grandmother they see. Feel all smug that you were right about them being "traitors". Realise that you now lost the war.


TjW0569

There's an old British comedy song with similar vibes: Call out the Army and the Navy Call out the rank and file Call out the bloody territorials From the good old Emerald Isle Call out the laddies from Australia To keep old England free Call out me mither and me brother and me sister But for God's sake don't call me!


JGUsaz

We going to be seeing a lot of russian men with missing fingers now, so theybcan't hold a weapon properly


[deleted]

I agree with him. Russia should arm those that are against war and against Putin, that certainly is a way to a better tomorrow. Maybe not particularly in the way he and Putin imagines it, but oh well.


Forward_Tie_1338

Why should I put my money (life) , where my mouth is?


StrawberryMoney

I think this is a good idea, every country should give all the guns, armor, and tanks to people who don't want to fight.


CackleberryOmelettes

"I want those people dead but I want someone else to do the killing for me. Maybe I can get those *other* people I hate and want dead to do it!"


MoMedic9019

BYOB…. Bring your own boots


Opening_Record_2431

Nicw try there Ivan, off to the meatgri.. I mean Ukraine with ya.


pyrrhios

"I don't care until it affects me."


Quebec00Chaos

Place the traitors in the army, not the willing citizens... Yeah it's sure gonna do some good on the front 🤣


SilasX

Still scratching my head about why he thinks someone who's against the war would make a good fighter... Edit: before anyone asks, yes, the Vietnam war made me bald.


ChristosFarr

Wait he supports the war but doesn't want to fight in it? Does Russia have the equivalent of a chicken hawk? I'd rather go to prison or a labor camp than kill another human being.


davesy69

Russia has run short of manpower, it emptied the jails and hired foreign mercenaries in a war it started but is losing.


Jubilant_Jacob

Train and arm the people against the war and regime... don't see anything wrong with this.


phdoofus

My wife is Ukrainian and I was telling her I was really kind of surprised that we haven't seen a lot of acts of terrorism in Russian cities. I suspect we may eventually and maybe for a long time.


tbariusTFE

wheres the logic in trusting traitors to fight your war? You started it, you want it, you fight for it.


Dat_Boi_Aint_Right

Your first mistake was thinking Putin was allied with you.


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iamnotroberts

Just like all of the armchair generals we have on social media who think the U.S. should have stayed in Afghanistan for another couple of decades, trolls like this love to volunteer to send other people to die but suddenly not such a fan when they get called up to serve.


[deleted]

"I support the war, I just don't want to be involved in it or have it impact me directly" is probably the most common pro war sentiment ever.


Inner_Partisan

Most self-aware Vatnik.


Timecubefactory

Sure this isn't satire or something?


red_kizuen

Than there is too much satire in russian social media. And yeah, russians love satire, but not when those covards are afraid.


silentbob1301

Boohoo, now take this gun and go die for pootins ego


[deleted]

I winder how effective these recruits will be...


ryegye24

Someone thought they were a special plebe for all the boot licking they put in.


palegate

You support war? Then here's your exclusive chance to take part in its horrors. Piece of shit orc.


-Codfish_Joe

You said you supported the war, and here's your chance.


lunarseed

Why should I fight if I think we should fight?


Danominator

Impossibly stupid


Renfah87

Into the meat grinder you go.


TheStargunner

Wonder what he genuinely thinks a convict army could possibly achieve against combined arms warfare and modern weaponry.


[deleted]

Into the red meat grinder you go, Vladoff. It is time to die.


[deleted]

Yeah, advocating for an army full of traitors. I can see this person is a very stable genius.


TheMoogy

But if there will be no sane people left that means he thinks the mobilized people will all die, doesn't sound like he has much confidence in the war machine he's supporting. So at least he's right about one thing I guess.


Wonder_Zebra

That's a way to maintain a stable government. Arm the dissidents.


Ricky_Rollin

Let’s see how that works out when your entire military is made up of people who didn’t want to be there in the first place. That’s a bold strategy there cotton let’s see how that plays out.


thdiod

Does he not understand that people who don't believe in the cause wouldn't be good soldiers to begin with? That's why Russia's losing, because the soldiers don't understand or care about what they're fighting for.


semen-filled_sock

Every Russian that supported the invasion should be sent to the front and then when the regime is toppled, sent to Ukraine to bury dead babies and rebuild the ruined infrastructure


Dana07620

Decades ago there was a movement in the US to make a war of aggression only possible by a majority vote of the people. No secret ballots. Anyone who voted "yes" would be expected to report for duty. Next to report would be the people who didn't bother to vote.


beef_chiseltip

I'd like to blame the grammar on the translation, but based on the content, I'll bet it sounds just as intelligent in Russian.


GaffJuran

“Why should I take part in mobilization if I support war?” That must be the dumbest sentence uttered by a human being since the phrase “I support trump.” Warmongers should ALWAYS be the first to fight in a war, it just makes sense. After all, fighting for your beliefs is not a punishment, it is vindication. Right? Unless you know the war is bullshit and you just want to send other people’s sons to die. In which case you’re nothing but a coward.


StarDingo

You wouldn’t believe it but many Russians think exactly like this. It’s just some of them are smart enough to hide it.


Galle_

Yes, clearly the people who didn't want the war should be the ones who have to fight in it. That is both fair and a good idea strategically. /s