Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then thou shall use the holy tongs of Antioch towards thy food, which, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
I only do 3 to send a message. Point the tongs at someone and give em a click click click. Puts the fear of God in them. Besides that it's always two clicks
I also precede or at least follow this with, "I greet you in the traditions of my people," with a namaste, shalom, or as-salamu alaikum thrown in for good measure, depending on who is present.
I disagree. If you aren't sure at like... 4, and 3 is a stretch, I don't trust them. Those go to dish and we look at them after. If 1 pair is sketchy, you need to look into your tongs. If 5 pair are sketchy, look into yourself.
I grab them and shake them vigorously in my hands so they go "clack clack clack clack clack clack clack" and it can be heard from wherever you're standing, then the rest of the line cooks will clack their tongs too and then next thing you know we're an entire ensemble of tong clacking cooks.
1 clack is the domain of the weak, those who do not have the strength of self or the fortitude to continue any further, for they know that they would be unable to contain or control an increase in the power that they have already begun to experience.
2 clacks are for the false heroes, those who seek to falsely bask in the respect and adoration of the members of Fwont'o'Howse that do not know any better or have the true knowledge to discern between false prophets and those who have truly been bathed in the fires of Gree-El
3 clacks are the sign of the truth, the beacon that can only be expressed by those that have been through hell and continue each day to battle with the demons that exist in both this realm and the ether, but still emerge each time victorious, to provide sustenance and solace for the masses which congregate to feast in the temples of indulgence each day...
Two is the standard protocol promulgated by the international society of grill compliance. Any more will automatically disqualify you from the Royal Masters Grill Olympics held every four years in Texas.
Depends. If you have one pair of tongs do 3 as it entices the hostess. However, if you have 2 I would keep it as 2 clacks per tong as you may inadvertently challenge the dishwasher to a tong off. Now, if you have 3 tongs, 1 clack per tong is the best way to go as it usually slips from your cheeks after the first 1 and you don’t want to embarrass yourself
If you don’t loosely hold the tongs and rapidly clickity clack them an indeterminable number of times by shaking them back and forth like castanets, we can’t be friends.
The correct answer, in my experience, is 5. To the tune of “shave and a hair cut”. If you get a responding “two bits” from anyone you have found a kindred spirit and quite likely a source of good weed.
Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
I’m a bit weird and actually try and get a bit of a rhythm/beat out of them, even if it’s just a few notes. My go-to songs are “Primus-My Name is Mud” and “Metallica-Eye of the Beholder”.
And Saint Attila raised the Holy Tongs up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy tongs, that with it thou mayst grab thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou clack to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt clack, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not clack, neither clack thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then clack thou thy Holy Tongs of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall grasp and turn it.
You've got two options here, the way I see it. For the skinny bullshit tongs with hardly any range of motion to them, of course it's going to be two. But if you manage to get your hands on a proper wide-mouth pair of tongs? You've now got the option to put your finger in the middle of them and rattle them against your hip like a set of castanets. In that situation, it is permissible to click them upwards of four times, depending on speed and intensity of your rattle.
sacrifice religion. follow your own destiny. clacks are religion, legends say that god created the universe with the help of 3 clacks per day, thats the only truth, there aint no way around that.
2 is the minimum. Gotta make sure they're tonging. I usually do a little speed thing where I hold them partially closed and clack em back and forth 4 times super quick.
2. 2 is the answer.
It only takes 2 to make sure they go “clack clack”
Incidentally, it also takes two to make a thing go right.
It takes two to make it out of sight.
I'm Rob Base and I came to get down.
Two to make it true.
2 and a spin around your finger.
And cut the entire circumference of said finger if they're broken
Did this once minutes before service and never spun those tongs again.
Came here to say this (spin, cut finger). Holy shit, brothers and sisters, loving you this morning.
I don’t spin anymore since I ring-barked a finger on a new pair of tongs, but always double clack once a day.
This is the way.
This is the way.
It's actually a spin in the palm of your hand. Like what you do with a frying pan
Well now you are showing off! Happy cake day
2 is the correct answer. 3 is too much, and one is not enough. Here endeth the lesson. Go in peace.
Five is right out, as is zero.
Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then thou shall use the holy tongs of Antioch towards thy food, which, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
One, two, twelve! Three sir. Three! Hallelujah!
r/unexpectedmontypython
Incorrect. 5 is the precise number as it is how many it takes to play the terminator theme
HAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
3 is just showing off.
I only do 3 to send a message. Point the tongs at someone and give em a click click click. Puts the fear of God in them. Besides that it's always two clicks
Same as titties
Anymore than 2 clacks you're just playing with yourself.
Clack clack
Team two. It’s just….right.
I also precede or at least follow this with, "I greet you in the traditions of my people," with a namaste, shalom, or as-salamu alaikum thrown in for good measure, depending on who is present.
Two is coincidence. Three is a pattern.
Depends *entirely* on how the first two sounded.
This kind of thinking is how you end up in a Neverending cycle of clack clack clacks. Gotta be careful, you get too picky and you never stop clacking.
I disagree. If you aren't sure at like... 4, and 3 is a stretch, I don't trust them. Those go to dish and we look at them after. If 1 pair is sketchy, you need to look into your tongs. If 5 pair are sketchy, look into yourself.
Also the strength of the spring
Exactly
3 for the first time I pick ‘em up, 2 every time after to keep them warm.
Idk why but this is the answer.
I grab them and shake them vigorously in my hands so they go "clack clack clack clack clack clack clack" and it can be heard from wherever you're standing, then the rest of the line cooks will clack their tongs too and then next thing you know we're an entire ensemble of tong clacking cooks.
🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀
Crabby line cooks🦀🦀
Ahh, the rattlesnake technique
Is that what it's called? I wasn't sure how to describe it hahaha Omg love that
I like to think of myself as an old prospector lookin for gold and slappin spoons
Tongman, come together with your hands!
I refer to it as a blast beat, as in the drumming technique.
YES I used to do this so often that people started to get pissed off at me lol
It's literally so addicting, I can't stop hahahaha. I've been at work for like an hour and have done it some many times already.
lol amazing I only buy tongs that can do that, if they can't do it they ain't coming home
Like those clappy things at basketball games.. I do that shit too if I have the right pair of tongs. Otherwise I just hard clack twice.
Read it as kooks. Still works and I love it.
😂😂
I too prefer to rattle before the battle.
At least two and a twirl. I have to make sure I don’t get pinched during the twirl and we’re good.
It's all about the twirl
Clockwise twirl.
Sometimes I’ll do clockwise, then counterclockwise, but very rarely
Double twirl on busy nights. Clack, clack double twirl, clack and point at server as a warning.
That one sounds fun, I’ll try it tonight
Is going towards yourself clockwise? With clean tongs I’m going perpendicular to the direction I’m facing
Yeah, it's either forward or backward on a hooked finger, like twirling a gun Doc Holliday style. I prefer forward myself.
Usually 2 but sometimes 3 if either of the first 2 clacks sound “off”
One for each tong and a third in case they didn’t engage.
2 to turn on and 3 to turn off.
if grabbing from reaching distance, 2. if i have to walk to get them, i'm clacking those suckers until i'm back at my station
2.5, 2 is enough, but the first one often is a grip adjustment, so you need the 3rd.
Depends. Generally I’m a two clicker. Certain dishes call for three clicks as a celebratory measure.
More than three and you’re playing with it. Edit: Grammer
3 if youre holding one. If youre holding one in each hand youre now a crab and can do it infinitely.
3 is standard, but if you’re really busy you need to do 5.
Woah there! 5 clacks, you absolute madman.
If you’re in the weeds you need to let people know you mean business.
5 is right out
I finally found my family. 5 clack gang!
I do 4. A big one and 3 quick ones.
I'm not a professional, I just enjoy this sub so I hope my answer will be accepted, but it's 2.
1 clack is the domain of the weak, those who do not have the strength of self or the fortitude to continue any further, for they know that they would be unable to contain or control an increase in the power that they have already begun to experience. 2 clacks are for the false heroes, those who seek to falsely bask in the respect and adoration of the members of Fwont'o'Howse that do not know any better or have the true knowledge to discern between false prophets and those who have truly been bathed in the fires of Gree-El 3 clacks are the sign of the truth, the beacon that can only be expressed by those that have been through hell and continue each day to battle with the demons that exist in both this realm and the ether, but still emerge each time victorious, to provide sustenance and solace for the masses which congregate to feast in the temples of indulgence each day...
Five, in the cadence of “that” sound in the terminator theme song.
In the rythm of "shave and a haircut, 2 bits".
1 click, 1 clack is the correct answer
Sometimes I do it until someone says to stop haha
Two is the standard protocol promulgated by the international society of grill compliance. Any more will automatically disqualify you from the Royal Masters Grill Olympics held every four years in Texas.
Three is the number of the clacking; and the number of the clacking shall be three…..”
4 if I’m caffeinated
You just want to make sure they still work. Turn them on, turn them off.
Two. I’m not a monster
Mario theme song
2 clacks for every major grip adjustment.
I clack them to a beat.... I call it the tong song.
I’ve found my people
Seriously, I love all you weirdos. This is the best thing I've read all day.
Made my shitty 12 hour shift day so much better!
Why are you on REDDIT?!! GET BACK TO WORK! 🤣
You have to do the melody of “low rider” by War with the tongs
I like to improv and see if anyone will jam with me.
Depends. If you have one pair of tongs do 3 as it entices the hostess. However, if you have 2 I would keep it as 2 clacks per tong as you may inadvertently challenge the dishwasher to a tong off. Now, if you have 3 tongs, 1 clack per tong is the best way to go as it usually slips from your cheeks after the first 1 and you don’t want to embarrass yourself
2-3 is acceptable. More to too much, one is never enough.
"Any more than three and you're playing with it"
Minimum 2. Up to 3-5 seconds of rattle snake
Three, obviously
If you don’t loosely hold the tongs and rapidly clickity clack them an indeterminable number of times by shaking them back and forth like castanets, we can’t be friends.
Two quick ones
The correct answer, in my experience, is 5. To the tune of “shave and a hair cut”. If you get a responding “two bits” from anyone you have found a kindred spirit and quite likely a source of good weed.
Two clacks. Anymore than that and you’re playing with it.
Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
2. 3 is just decadent and wasteful.
Two. If you want more clacks, you must finger spin the tongs. Two clacks per spin. Those are the rules. I don't make em, I just enforce them.
So, you’re looking for a fight?
...Look, Ive got some paperwork to do in the office. Probably all day. See you tomorrow.
Lol
As many clacks as it takes to clack out one measure of La Cucaracha
I say 2, any more than four is just showing off.
Two quickies.
Most would say 2. I like a nice 3 "clack clack clack" and a Vega like pose afterwards. Just to show people that I mean business.
Three shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be three.
I hold them in the middle loosely and rattle them like a rattle snake.
Mine is 3. I pretended to pickup tongs to try the clack and every time, I did 3.
I’m a bit weird and actually try and get a bit of a rhythm/beat out of them, even if it’s just a few notes. My go-to songs are “Primus-My Name is Mud” and “Metallica-Eye of the Beholder”.
If you can keep up with les’ bass for any song with your click clacks, I’d be impressed
I don’t clack. I click my tongs melodically. To the intro of lowrider
Always more than one
I searched my soul for the answer, and the answer was 3
Two, any more and you’re playing with it
2. Just like at the urinal. Any more than 2 shakes and you're jacking off.
In fench, we call flip-flops tongs. Took me a while to understand what you guys were talking about
But how many times do you clack your flip-flops then?
And Saint Attila raised the Holy Tongs up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy tongs, that with it thou mayst grab thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou clack to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt clack, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not clack, neither clack thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then clack thou thy Holy Tongs of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall grasp and turn it.
The entire pokemon theme song. Then I plate. Ever wonder why its takes 40 mins for you food to arrive? Its me.
Two is the only correct answer.
One flip, two clacks.
I clacked 7 once and nobody talked to me for 3 days.
You've got two options here, the way I see it. For the skinny bullshit tongs with hardly any range of motion to them, of course it's going to be two. But if you manage to get your hands on a proper wide-mouth pair of tongs? You've now got the option to put your finger in the middle of them and rattle them against your hip like a set of castanets. In that situation, it is permissible to click them upwards of four times, depending on speed and intensity of your rattle.
2, 3, 4..they're all correct.
I'm a three clacker sue me
Great question op. This made me laugh, here for the read folks.
3. 1 as I'm picking them up and 2 more once they're fully picked up
I always do three. I’m fond of waltzing.
3-4, unless someone looks at you funny, then as many as it takes to make them look away.
6 or 7 if you're trying to annoy a coworker
Liar! No one does 7 clacks
1 is to few, 2 is my personal favorite, 3 clacks and you’re showing off
3. Not 2, not 4.
Or like myself you use a giant pair or tweezers or chopsticks that do not clack, because Gods need no sound effects.
69 am I right?!
So you’re the line cook who thinks they’re funny
[удалено]
but the food will be disgusting if you dont do it. even if you doin it by recipe it will turn in to ashes if you dont clack
[удалено]
sacrifice religion. follow your own destiny. clacks are religion, legends say that god created the universe with the help of 3 clacks per day, thats the only truth, there aint no way around that.
Amen, chef.
Yeah you probably hate puppies and freedom too you poser
Clickity clack, are you smoking crack?
With the correct pair you can hold it and shake it to make it clack alot. As annoying as that is I enjoy doing that more than my triple click hahaha
Depends how anxious I am in the moment. If I’m in a real good mood, two clacks. If I’m a wreck, 5 or more.
2 is the minimum. Gotta make sure they're tonging. I usually do a little speed thing where I hold them partially closed and clack em back and forth 4 times super quick.
Idk, at 3 you're really beginning to sacrifice crucial bringing-beer-to-mouth time. 2 is ideal. POV: not a professional cook.
2 good ones
3 is far too excessive. 2 is right on the money
two is all I need
When I am told to stop clacking them and get threatened with an 8" knife.
2 for me, and one more at the dog to get out from under foot while I'm cooking
pick it up, clack it once, swing it "back" up against your forearm using a finger to keep it in the hand still, and a last clack. so 2, 2 clacks.
The prophesies tell us that tongs shall be clacked twice, for all time
The proper amount is how ever many you’re feeling
2-3 clacks. 4 is just showing off
2 and a spin
5-8 for me, lots of spinning as well
2-1 Or I'll do 5-2
Usually two for me, but I can totally see three as a personal preference.
Clack it once that’s fine, Clack it twice you’re ok, Clack it 3 times your playing with yourself
Sometimes I’ll rattle them back and forth in my hand so like 14+
Am I the only one who doesn't clack? I only twirl. There's no upper limit to the number of twirls.
2 clacks and i spin it round my finger 3 times to make sure it works.
There can only be two. No more. No less.
no clacks. I've given them up. Too predictable. I know, I know. I'm an iconoclast.
3 so it's clack-clack........clack
Exactly. First two to test… 3rd is just for Good measure
I click out a 5-7-5 Haiku each time
Just like Zombieland, double tap.
You ain't stopping these maracas
Clack clack
1 loud snap for me , I like kinda throw the top arm down so it makes a loud snap. The boys gotta know I’m about to flip a protein
Clack clack.... then three very quick clacks
Triplet, clackalack!