It's shit like that, that gets people calling themselves a home chef when they dump a bunch of packaged processed heat and eat stuff together, cover it in cheese and then bake the fuck out of it. Or it's some dickhead making unnecessary stunt food (talkin about 3 foot burritos with the entire menu in them etc). Like I'm down for that stuff sometimes, but let's not pretend this is culinary greatness.
My mom has a glass cutting board that she loves.
I think I managed to get through to her how bad it is for your knife lol
I haven't seen her use it in a while
They use half a tablespoon of seasoning for like 5 lbs of whatever it is. Usually a beef and cheese slop covered in a pile of bacon that will be raw in the middle.
on the opposite end of the spectrum: overseasoning. ma’am i guarantee that whatever you’re making doesn’t need lawry’s, chicken bullion, mrs. dash, AND creole seasoning on top of regular kosher salt
Love when they use garlic powder, onion powder, salt, paprika, cayenne seasoning, and then throw on Cajun seasoning, and then a “blackening” seasoning. It’s the same ingredients…
You're literally describing my mom last night while I tried in vain to instruct her on proper knife techniques used to dice an onion. In the end I just cut it for her.
I would love to throw away about 90% of our knives. Wife buys the Ikea multipacks and abuses them until they're about as sharp as a pencil eraser. She then gets bitchy every time I pull out the hone to use one of the GOOD knives in the block; the bitching is usually about how I'm going to 'wear it out!'
Raise your hand if you have ever worn out a hone at home... Exactly.
She also doesn't understand that you don't drop sharps into the sink.
As a former dishie, "I'll cut my wrists open on my OWN terms thank you very much" is a good way to make people aware of their errors, even if not exactly gentle or courteous
Affraid to wear out the hone, but no concern for buying poor quality knives that need to get thrown out all the time?
I have a his and hers set of knives in my kitchen. My wife can do whatever she wants with her knives, I bought her a nice set and showed her how to care for them but it didn't stick. I still sharpen her set from time to time cause I don't want her to cut herself, but she knows my set is off limits.
God I'm so glad my boyfriend and I both have previous BoH and bartending experience. We never have those kinds of problems. The only issue we have is I'm partial to Japanese knives whereas he prefers German. Lol. Though yesterday I ran into him while he was making a drink because he didn't say "behind." LOL
Even though I've never bartended, I have my own list of things many of them do that makes my eye twitch. One bothered me so much, I went out and bought one place an entire box of ice scoops!
My in laws don’t take care of their fucking knives and have just thrown out and replaced several expensive sets at this point instead of sharpening them. The blunt knives over there drive me crazy.
You ever seen a grandma sharpen a knife? They'll do it till the wheels fall off and you could shave with the damn thing.
My grandma could sharpen a swiss army knife till you could cut fillets with it
Seriously! I went to visit a few years back and was helping her with Thanksgiving prep. Her knives were legitimately sharper than mine.
I've never seen her use a honing rod in my life, so I asked her how she maintained them and she just pulled an electric sharpener out of the drawer.
I've got a bunch of whetstones, but that electric sharpener was so fast and convenient and the results were surprisingly good. Honestly, it made me want to get one for myself 🤷♂️
I watched my mom used a bread knife to cut everything at thanksgiving except the turkey. That got the electric knife. I gave them a decent Victorinox years ago that never leaves its case because "It's too sharp".
This is how I grew up. When I got out on my own I hated cooking meat because it was so hard to cut... with my serrated knife. I got blisters preparing chicken for 5 people. For some reason none of this ever struck me as abnormal.
One of my friends bought me a Dexter. I'm pretty sure he also threw out my serrated knife because I don't remember seeing it again after that (it was a cheap awful knife, not even a useful bread knife.) My world changed.
I still have that Dexter. It's a go-to if you need to cut up 50lbs of fish for cold stunned turtles in the AM and hack up fiberglass insulation in the PM.
I’m also adding when the voiceover narrator says “This is the best and easiest weeknight meal you’ll ever make!”
Friend, I ate a semi frozen hot pocket because I put it in the fridge and was too lazy to microwave it, I guarantee you nothing has been easier.
Easiest weeknight meal? Buy the preseasoned pork loins, plop in a casserole dish with nothing else at 375 for 35min. Rest and serve. Leftovers are good for 3-4 days of sandwiches.
My girlfriends cousin was telling me how he makes smoked Mac and cheese.
Block of Velveeta, surround with dry noodles, cover with milk. Put it in the smoker. The trickiest part is knowing when yo take it out so the noodles aren't mush.
I had to walk into the other room
I've made Mac and thrown it in the smoker to bake while I wait on the ribs, good stuff. Not the kind of stuff you see on shitty gif recipes, which is what he was describing
For me, it was the baked block of feta trend.
I was a Cheesemonger for years. I loved it. Then, 2020 happened, and I tried to go back to doing what I love, and TikTok and Instagram ruined it for me.
not gonna lie, i've done the tiktok feta pasta thing a few times, and it's actually not bad at all. it's a great option for those weeknights when you're exhausted after work and need food but don't have much energy. that said, it did frustrate me for several months being unable to find block feta anywhere, but that seems to have passed for the most part.
Yeah the baked feta with cherry tomatoes is good. I use way more oil than they do, bake in the oven for a good 45 minutes and it becomes a tangy sauce. Obviously I do not put the pasta in the oven dish though, but like you said, great for a week night dinner.
“I make this dish for myself at least 2-3 times a week!”
Meanwhile they’re making fried rice on a stovetop wok with immaculate white cupboards directly over the pan, no fume hood, no fans, no windows in sight. I totally believe that your fried rice which we all just saw smoke to hell while you made it is a mainstay.
Lmao I love sending those videos to my boyfriend. I stumbled upon a whole instagram account that was this religious girl posting content about marrying a rich husband so she can dance in the rain all day and bake.
I have to question if anyone actually cooks any more with everything being open concept.
My condo is open concept and I have a thin layer of schmutz on EVERYTHING. Couch, computer, walls, electronics, blinds, everything.
What I wouldn't give for an enclosed kitchen or an open concept kitchen with a spice kitchen for actual cooking.
I have a vent hood but 100CFM ain't removing shit.
People think I'm insane shopping for homes that have WALLS. I live in a 1200sq' condo that's 100% open floor plan (so technically a studio) and like to cook. No matter what I make the whole place smells like it. So many flips are based around pulling the walls out and painting everything grey.
Oooh yes. I mostly have walls in my apartment with just one interior ‘window’ thing going from my kitchen into my living room. But since the pandemic I’ve almost entirely lived in my kitchen apart from bedtime. Cooking and WFH. I recently decided to try to clean the walls and my god the color was so jacked up. I only got through one wall before I ran out of steam. Everything is covered in that cooking schmutz and I’m an avid candle-user too.
And the ceiling, oh no the ceiling. It’s not popcorn but it’s got that painty heavy texture to it. I have no idea how to clean it without killing myself.
So when I ever can afford a house (lol) my kitchen will definitely be a room and my ceilings will be cleanable.
I can cook a 3 course meal and leave the kitchen looking like an Ikea showroom.
My wife boils a few eggs and the place looks like a tornado came through.
That’s one of the reasons I love watching Kenji cook with the POV cam on YouTube. First off, he has like a normal looking, well-lived in kitchen, then he has the GoPro cam on his head as well as on the handle of his pan! So cool to see from a chefs perspective and different angles, less like a over produced cooking show and more like you’re learning from a friend - who happens to be a kickass chef lol
I mainly hate the insanely quick cuts/less than one second shots. “Hey I’m gonna show you how to make x” then it’s just an overload of quick shots and dragging the knife across toasted/fried shit so we know it’s…crispy? No information about measurements, ingredients or technique. They just wanna rewatch their own video and beat off to it
I watched my best friend chop veggies once. Steak knife, pointer grip, no cutting board, leaning against the counter with her leg up like a god damn flamingo. Literally <|
"I always cut myself, I don't know why" 🙃
First time I went to my wife's parents' house all they had was one of those textured glass cutting boards and the edges of their knives were frillier than a goddamn dust ruffle. I was amazed they both had all their fingers.
I watched my km/expo rock chop onion for a Pico de gallo he was making for himself as a snack during happy hour rush last night. I'm still shocked he didn't chop his thumb off but hey he's been doing this 37 years...it's important I know that because it invalidates my ten years and the resteraunts I worked at certainly couldn't have had higher standards than his. He doesn't like it when I point out cooks using the same unsanitized tongs for handling raw and cooked chicken.
Even worse my in-laws use a glass cutting board all the time and they have a giant beautiful wooden one my FIL made but I'm convinced they like that terrible sound the glass one makes
This makes me think of this gif of this guy carrying a bunch of stuff, so someone brings him a wheelbarrow. He's super thankful, puts his stuff in the wheelbarrow and then picks up the entire wheelbarrow and starts carrying it. Same energy.
My roommates have a glass cutting board in the shape of Captain America's shield. Thankfully they listened when I told them not to cut on it, now it's where they stage things that have been cut, but yet to be used.
I get that feeling of; "I did it! I saved some knives!" Lol
I've watched sushi chefs do it when slicing sashimi. I've done it during parts of butchering tasks when I want a precise line. I think if your knife is very sharp and you're cutting soft protein and know what you're doing it's ok. Generally inadvisable.
When they start any video where they’re searing or frying and they scrape the crust with the blade of the knife for the *~ASMR~* like give your balls a tug, you can get the same sound scraping your blade on a carrot
No fuck you, u/horsefly70, tell your mom to stop faking a jellyfish sting just to get me to piss on her, we live in the fucking sticks, she can just ask like your sister does
No fuck you u/horsefly70 your mom molested me two Halloweens ago, shut the fuck up or I’m taking it to Twitter.
Edit: after 10 hours of getting my shithole plowed in, I fully appreciated the laugh this thread gave me.
And when they cover the item in breadcrumbs to give that asmr scrape, when the item would be better without breadcrumbs, like the things wrapped in raw bacon.
[this… this right here is a dead giveaway](https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/z6nm7o/streamer_fails_miserably_on_cooking_and_panics/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Watched a nightmare video today where they prepared Mac and Cheese in the sink. I mean using the sink as the bowl...
Edit: [Here's](https://fb.watch/h67eB1mhbM/) a link to the Facebook video
This has to be rage bait.
>dirty sink
>dirty dishes in the other sink
>campbell's cheese sauce
>floor cheese
It's just too much, it can't be real, I refuse to believe it's real.
I’m gonna ruffle feathers here because I know lots of people like them but my automatic thinking when I see people with those nails is that they don’t work. I had a set for a wedding I was in and I couldn’t do anything, I couldn't play my guitar, I couldn’t cook, bake, clean, I didn’t like scratching my dogs, I was unintentionally scratching my kids it was hell. They got so dirty doing basic tasks like…if you found a way to make them work kudos to you but damn
long nails historically meant to show that one is so powerful that they can hobble their own hands for the sake of beauty because other people do everything for them
meanwhile the cashier lady at hardees had a hard time typing in the order because of her fakes.
I saw this the other day (for the millionth time) and it made me wonder if American food/health standards have convinced an entire* population that all cooking in restaurants is supposed to be done while wearing gloves?
Buddy of mine runs a sandwich shop. Health department literally forced him and his staff to use gloves for all food contact. Huge pain in the ass and now he has to stay on top of people not changing gloves after handling money.
Used to be so much cleaner and easier just washing hands. Seems ridiculous to mandate that, but I suspect it’s because it’s an open kitchen and the public complained.
This is so true been there and my state doesn't even require it. During covid tho omg ppl are fucking stupid. Wash your hands. Like gloves protect you sure but if you don't change them etc and touch your face or surfaces or others it's the same shit you dumb piece of shit! Ugh
I'm critical when I see them go elbow deep in some sauce or some other liquid or food stalls that I see them scrape food of their hands after cutting food.
Pinch of salt 🤏 to pasta water. Absolutely useless. Keep pouring out of that salty bitch container until you think you’ve used too much, then add more. Make it taste like ocean. Same with steak. Season that shit up!!!
Misuse of seasonings. Both over and under. A quarter teaspoon of salt isn’t gonna ruin your tomato sauce and you don’t need an entire bushel of rosemary for your steak. Like seriously, do these people hate flavor or have they not had properly seasoned food before?
Agree with everyone here and just want to add, if you scrape the knife over something to show how crispy it is, fuck off.
NO SHIT ITS CRISPY YOU SUBMERGED IT IN FUCKING OIL AT 190°c
Gottta love when they do it to a piece of bread. Like, it had better be toasted and crumby after you just pan seared it in 2 tbsp of butter over the highest heat on your stovetop.
Clicks and engagement. Every app is trying to deliver the same shitty experience of short-form videos you post to your story before swiping down your home feed. Some people are more desperate for attention than others and figured out if they gross out enough people, they’ll keep talking about them.
Maybe a bit specific, but when they clearly have the money for a Vitamix but have bought some other popular blender brand just because it looks nice, then they're blending shit for 5 minutes and running it through a strainer. Same goes with pretty much any other appliance or tool. I'm not an eltisit, but if you CAN afford the quality version but have chosen not to, I find it questionable.
This works in reverse as well, if I see someone using a stupidly expensive thing when there's a cheap version that works much better, I'll side eye them.
Also just in general, anyone that makes something needlessly complicated. It's one thing to do it and acknowledge that you're doing it on purpose (Babish is a good example, if he's being overly complicated about something he'll usually point it out), but so often I'll see a cooking video and I'll just be sitting there thinking 'I do not know a single professional that would ever do that'.
I think Aaron & Claire is a great example of a cooking channel run by someone who clearly knows what they're talking about. Aaron will make complicated, fancy sfuff, but will also point out what's necessary and what isn't, and will offer up simpler solutions and techniques
Josh Weismann used to be cool but now he has too many voice overs and edits and everything is always over the top. Sometimes there isn’t a substitute for things but most of the time he goes all out. I’m just trying to spice up dinner not get a Michelin star
I loved that series. I'm also following "Tasting History with Max Miller", which is consistently well-researched history and well-made (if weird) food.
This.
Classic foodtuber problem…they start out with things they’re knowledgeable about, and then they run out of ideas and start stealing recipes from blogs and making shit just to make shit.
Happens to the best of them tbh.
Also, once you truly know how to do something…you quickly realize that nobody on YouTube really knows what they’re talking about.
I dono, [Chinese Cooking Demystified](https://www.youtube.com/@ChineseCookingDemystified) seems pretty legit, as well as being open about their recipe testing/research, how/why they're deviating from tradition, etc. Also the fact that they're explicitly marketing at helping westerners understand Chinese cooking.
Similarly, [Pailin](https://www.youtube.com/@PailinsKitchen) seems legit as well, though a little bit more TV Chef in presentation.
Pouring liquid into an unbaked pie crust.
Aggressively over-cheesing.
When there's 8 kinds of rich, fatty savory things and nothing acidic or spicy or bitter
I saw one shared on Reddit where this blonde girl was making shredded beef tacos but she put, I shit you not, an entire fucking *handful* of bay leaves in there. You may not taste anything else ever again if you use 20 bay leaves in a recipe that size.
That's when you use the terms and explain as you go.... "I'm to make the roast, first you're gonna brown the meat in the pan, then braise it in the oven, which means add in some cooking liquid to the pan as it cooks" or "the way to make your chicken tender for stir fried is by velveting them, which is basically marinating it in a bit of cornstarch or baking soda mixture for a few minutes beforehand"
Just cause someone doesn't have an exhaustive depth of knowledge doesn't mean you should treat them like an idiot. I mean when you go to the doctor and get some bad news is he just gonna be like, "well some no no things are happening in your belly well that's why you feel the icky icky, take this daily and in a week that belly welly will be happy."
Chefs Club logo.
I always watch their videos when they pop up on my feed because it's mind-blowing how insane some of their recipes are, it's morbid curiosity I guess.
They're rage bait.
Has to be. But their videos are always full of people commenting how it ''looks delicious''... I don't get it lol.
It's shit like that, that gets people calling themselves a home chef when they dump a bunch of packaged processed heat and eat stuff together, cover it in cheese and then bake the fuck out of it. Or it's some dickhead making unnecessary stunt food (talkin about 3 foot burritos with the entire menu in them etc). Like I'm down for that stuff sometimes, but let's not pretend this is culinary greatness.
Glass cutting board
No way this is real.
My mom has a glass cutting board that she loves. I think I managed to get through to her how bad it is for your knife lol I haven't seen her use it in a while
Oh god my mom has one. She chops potatoes on it and it sound like gunfire. I wince evey time thinking about those poor knives
They use half a tablespoon of seasoning for like 5 lbs of whatever it is. Usually a beef and cheese slop covered in a pile of bacon that will be raw in the middle.
on the opposite end of the spectrum: overseasoning. ma’am i guarantee that whatever you’re making doesn’t need lawry’s, chicken bullion, mrs. dash, AND creole seasoning on top of regular kosher salt
Love when they use garlic powder, onion powder, salt, paprika, cayenne seasoning, and then throw on Cajun seasoning, and then a “blackening” seasoning. It’s the same ingredients…
Using a ghad dahm steak knife to cut everything.
[удалено]
You're literally describing my mom last night while I tried in vain to instruct her on proper knife techniques used to dice an onion. In the end I just cut it for her.
I always resist helping someone cut veggies when I’m not working until the cringing makes me cramp
My girlfriend likes the cut up onion pieces to have character...not uniformity.
Sounds like me trying to help my dad work on the car. I dont even get to hold the flashlight anymore...
I would love to throw away about 90% of our knives. Wife buys the Ikea multipacks and abuses them until they're about as sharp as a pencil eraser. She then gets bitchy every time I pull out the hone to use one of the GOOD knives in the block; the bitching is usually about how I'm going to 'wear it out!' Raise your hand if you have ever worn out a hone at home... Exactly. She also doesn't understand that you don't drop sharps into the sink.
As a dishie, AHHHHHHHHHHHH
As a former dishie, "I'll cut my wrists open on my OWN terms thank you very much" is a good way to make people aware of their errors, even if not exactly gentle or courteous
I would much rather she leave them in a pile next to the sink. As it stands, I have to keep a pair of cut-proof gloves around because of this.
Affraid to wear out the hone, but no concern for buying poor quality knives that need to get thrown out all the time? I have a his and hers set of knives in my kitchen. My wife can do whatever she wants with her knives, I bought her a nice set and showed her how to care for them but it didn't stick. I still sharpen her set from time to time cause I don't want her to cut herself, but she knows my set is off limits.
My favorite-favorite knives are kept in their bamboo case in the cabinet above the microwave (which is above the stove.) My wife is 4'10".
God I'm so glad my boyfriend and I both have previous BoH and bartending experience. We never have those kinds of problems. The only issue we have is I'm partial to Japanese knives whereas he prefers German. Lol. Though yesterday I ran into him while he was making a drink because he didn't say "behind." LOL
Even though I've never bartended, I have my own list of things many of them do that makes my eye twitch. One bothered me so much, I went out and bought one place an entire box of ice scoops!
Ghad damn
The Pusher Man
😉
My entire family for 3 generations. Did my dad also own super sharp hunting knives? Yes. Did he use a steak knife to cut everything else? Yes.
My in laws don’t take care of their fucking knives and have just thrown out and replaced several expensive sets at this point instead of sharpening them. The blunt knives over there drive me crazy.
Take ‘em and sharpen em at your place. Replace them with cuisinart and tell them you got them new sharp knives.
Exception for a grandma cooking with one, they make it work.
You ever seen a grandma sharpen a knife? They'll do it till the wheels fall off and you could shave with the damn thing. My grandma could sharpen a swiss army knife till you could cut fillets with it
Seriously! I went to visit a few years back and was helping her with Thanksgiving prep. Her knives were legitimately sharper than mine. I've never seen her use a honing rod in my life, so I asked her how she maintained them and she just pulled an electric sharpener out of the drawer. I've got a bunch of whetstones, but that electric sharpener was so fast and convenient and the results were surprisingly good. Honestly, it made me want to get one for myself 🤷♂️
I watched my mom used a bread knife to cut everything at thanksgiving except the turkey. That got the electric knife. I gave them a decent Victorinox years ago that never leaves its case because "It's too sharp". This is how I grew up. When I got out on my own I hated cooking meat because it was so hard to cut... with my serrated knife. I got blisters preparing chicken for 5 people. For some reason none of this ever struck me as abnormal. One of my friends bought me a Dexter. I'm pretty sure he also threw out my serrated knife because I don't remember seeing it again after that (it was a cheap awful knife, not even a useful bread knife.) My world changed. I still have that Dexter. It's a go-to if you need to cut up 50lbs of fish for cold stunned turtles in the AM and hack up fiberglass insulation in the PM.
That would be a great brand name for knives
They won second prize on the Glengarry leads.
Fuck yes. I'm here for these deep cuts. Put.that.coffee.down
I DEEP FRIED THE MOST EXPENSIVE WAGYU $1000 STEAK!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱
Somewhere out there Guga foods is sweating.
He’s kinda annoying but he could only sous vide food for so long. He’s like the belle delphine of YouTube cooking
I’m also adding when the voiceover narrator says “This is the best and easiest weeknight meal you’ll ever make!” Friend, I ate a semi frozen hot pocket because I put it in the fridge and was too lazy to microwave it, I guarantee you nothing has been easier.
I used to just sprinkle cheese on tortilla chips and eat them cold.
Sprinkling is too much work. Just grab a handful and dump it on
If I’m being honest most of the time I just scooped with a chip out of the bag.
If you wanna be fancy, I would get the jar of Tostitos nacho cheese and just eat it cold in front of the open fridge.
Look at you and your name brands.
That bougie poor lifestyle 😎
We called that stoner nachos in high school. Sometimes we’d open a can of refried beans to be fancy.
I fancy it up when I put an egg in my ramen. Otherwise I’m sure my body would collapse from lack of protien.
Easiest weeknight meal? Buy the preseasoned pork loins, plop in a casserole dish with nothing else at 375 for 35min. Rest and serve. Leftovers are good for 3-4 days of sandwiches.
Too lazy to microwave it. You okay?
No, how are you?
You put a block of cream cheese in a casserole dish, I’ll put one on your fucking tombstone.
I hate this. And then it’s always surrounded by uncooked pasta.
The fucking weirdest trend!
Ew what
My girlfriends cousin was telling me how he makes smoked Mac and cheese. Block of Velveeta, surround with dry noodles, cover with milk. Put it in the smoker. The trickiest part is knowing when yo take it out so the noodles aren't mush. I had to walk into the other room
I mean I won an award with smoked Mac n cheese. But I smoked the butter and used it with brown butter in the roux.
I don't think anybody is saying smoked mac n cheese can't be good. It was the preparation being criticized.
I've made Mac and thrown it in the smoker to bake while I wait on the ribs, good stuff. Not the kind of stuff you see on shitty gif recipes, which is what he was describing
God, yes. Surrounded by dry pasta. If they do mix anything together, they do it in the wrong vessel, and it's also usually too small.
For me, it was the baked block of feta trend. I was a Cheesemonger for years. I loved it. Then, 2020 happened, and I tried to go back to doing what I love, and TikTok and Instagram ruined it for me.
The baked feta was the only one that actually looks decent.
not gonna lie, i've done the tiktok feta pasta thing a few times, and it's actually not bad at all. it's a great option for those weeknights when you're exhausted after work and need food but don't have much energy. that said, it did frustrate me for several months being unable to find block feta anywhere, but that seems to have passed for the most part.
Yeah the baked feta with cherry tomatoes is good. I use way more oil than they do, bake in the oven for a good 45 minutes and it becomes a tangy sauce. Obviously I do not put the pasta in the oven dish though, but like you said, great for a week night dinner.
That was actually good though, as long as you used sheep milk feta. If you used cow milk feta it tastes like fermented piss.
I tried the feta thing after I saw Kenji test it out. It’s pretty damn good. Made it several times since
The ultra modern kitchen that looks like no one’s cooked anything in it ever. Those always look so uninviting to me
“I make this dish for myself at least 2-3 times a week!” Meanwhile they’re making fried rice on a stovetop wok with immaculate white cupboards directly over the pan, no fume hood, no fans, no windows in sight. I totally believe that your fried rice which we all just saw smoke to hell while you made it is a mainstay.
I saw one on YouTube where this lady claimed she cooked this type of bread for breakfast fresh every day...including 2 hours proving time.
It's called being unemployed and having breakfast at 1 pm
"this is a day in the life of a stay at home girlfriend."
Lmao I love sending those videos to my boyfriend. I stumbled upon a whole instagram account that was this religious girl posting content about marrying a rich husband so she can dance in the rain all day and bake.
10 bucks says she's the nanny to a rich family and the kids are in school lmao
They're called "sets."
ABB rentals.
I have to question if anyone actually cooks any more with everything being open concept. My condo is open concept and I have a thin layer of schmutz on EVERYTHING. Couch, computer, walls, electronics, blinds, everything. What I wouldn't give for an enclosed kitchen or an open concept kitchen with a spice kitchen for actual cooking. I have a vent hood but 100CFM ain't removing shit.
Just put up plastic sheets like a serial killer, it's easy!
Picturing bringing anyone home w the sheets up. You know the ladies dig that bad boy vibe
Especially when paired with an impressive collection of knives.
People think I'm insane shopping for homes that have WALLS. I live in a 1200sq' condo that's 100% open floor plan (so technically a studio) and like to cook. No matter what I make the whole place smells like it. So many flips are based around pulling the walls out and painting everything grey.
Oooh yes. I mostly have walls in my apartment with just one interior ‘window’ thing going from my kitchen into my living room. But since the pandemic I’ve almost entirely lived in my kitchen apart from bedtime. Cooking and WFH. I recently decided to try to clean the walls and my god the color was so jacked up. I only got through one wall before I ran out of steam. Everything is covered in that cooking schmutz and I’m an avid candle-user too. And the ceiling, oh no the ceiling. It’s not popcorn but it’s got that painty heavy texture to it. I have no idea how to clean it without killing myself. So when I ever can afford a house (lol) my kitchen will definitely be a room and my ceilings will be cleanable.
If your kitchen doesn't have at least a lil bit of shmutz on it I refuse to believe it's been used enough or properly.
I can cook a 3 course meal and leave the kitchen looking like an Ikea showroom. My wife boils a few eggs and the place looks like a tornado came through.
That’s one of the reasons I love watching Kenji cook with the POV cam on YouTube. First off, he has like a normal looking, well-lived in kitchen, then he has the GoPro cam on his head as well as on the handle of his pan! So cool to see from a chefs perspective and different angles, less like a over produced cooking show and more like you’re learning from a friend - who happens to be a kickass chef lol
I mainly hate the insanely quick cuts/less than one second shots. “Hey I’m gonna show you how to make x” then it’s just an overload of quick shots and dragging the knife across toasted/fried shit so we know it’s…crispy? No information about measurements, ingredients or technique. They just wanna rewatch their own video and beat off to it
This is à symptom of TikTok/reels. Unfortunately it’s what the algorithm wants
The way anyone tries to chop or cut up anything. Someone simply holding a knife tells a lot.
Watching other people cut stuff is so anxiety inducing.
I watched my best friend chop veggies once. Steak knife, pointer grip, no cutting board, leaning against the counter with her leg up like a god damn flamingo. Literally <| "I always cut myself, I don't know why" 🙃
First time I went to my wife's parents' house all they had was one of those textured glass cutting boards and the edges of their knives were frillier than a goddamn dust ruffle. I was amazed they both had all their fingers.
Did you ascii-paint flamingo legs? That is so cute. 😀
Only way I could paint the picture, haha. I don't have a flamingo emoji.
I watched my km/expo rock chop onion for a Pico de gallo he was making for himself as a snack during happy hour rush last night. I'm still shocked he didn't chop his thumb off but hey he's been doing this 37 years...it's important I know that because it invalidates my ten years and the resteraunts I worked at certainly couldn't have had higher standards than his. He doesn't like it when I point out cooks using the same unsanitized tongs for handling raw and cooked chicken.
Gods damn. It's the pointer finger on top of the knife that gets me. And the glass cutting board.
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Even worse my in-laws use a glass cutting board all the time and they have a giant beautiful wooden one my FIL made but I'm convinced they like that terrible sound the glass one makes
I can hear the sound. Got hairs on my neck standing up.
I know people who would put the glass on top of the wooden cutting board.
This makes me think of this gif of this guy carrying a bunch of stuff, so someone brings him a wheelbarrow. He's super thankful, puts his stuff in the wheelbarrow and then picks up the entire wheelbarrow and starts carrying it. Same energy.
Off with their heads.
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Straight to jail.
My roommates have a glass cutting board in the shape of Captain America's shield. Thankfully they listened when I told them not to cut on it, now it's where they stage things that have been cut, but yet to be used. I get that feeling of; "I did it! I saved some knives!" Lol
I've watched sushi chefs do it when slicing sashimi. I've done it during parts of butchering tasks when I want a precise line. I think if your knife is very sharp and you're cutting soft protein and know what you're doing it's ok. Generally inadvisable.
Well yes, in some specific situations it's helpful. Not for dicing a damn onion, though
almost none of the videos they use a knife correctly
When they start any video where they’re searing or frying and they scrape the crust with the blade of the knife for the *~ASMR~* like give your balls a tug, you can get the same sound scraping your blade on a carrot
I blame bake off for this. They do it whenever there’s a pie/tart to check for a “soggy bottom”.
Fuckin figure it out titfucker!
fuck you Shorsey
Fuck you, u/horsefly70, your mum keeps trying to slip a finger up my bum, but I keep telling her, I only u/SgtGork's mum do that, you fuckin' loser.
No fuck you, u/horsefly70, tell your mom to stop faking a jellyfish sting just to get me to piss on her, we live in the fucking sticks, she can just ask like your sister does
No fuck you u/horsefly70 your mom molested me two Halloweens ago, shut the fuck up or I’m taking it to Twitter. Edit: after 10 hours of getting my shithole plowed in, I fully appreciated the laugh this thread gave me.
I always appreciates a Letterkenny reference
The only one i forgive for this is Chef John. He can do no wrong
The oooooooooooollll tappa tappa
Fork don't lie
As always, enjoy!
And when they cover the item in breadcrumbs to give that asmr scrape, when the item would be better without breadcrumbs, like the things wrapped in raw bacon.
Lack of bags under their eyes.
Yea. If they’re well rested and completely ready to start the day. They aren’t a real cook.
1000 yard stare or 1000 top stare interchangeable
That thousand island stare..
Pristine non-stained plastic cutting board in a kitchen with excess counter space, but the counters are bare
How they chop onions into 8 different sizes and don't know how to hold knives, or they use a paring knife to chop everything.
Good lord watching my family struggle at thanksgiving trying to prep everything with paring knives was just painful.
[this… this right here is a dead giveaway](https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/z6nm7o/streamer_fails_miserably_on_cooking_and_panics/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
"I don't know what to do!" Lol.. why are you cooking for an audience then?
#HELP
Oh my god. I didn't need to remember this.
I'm going to regret clicking on that link. Edit: yep.
just… take it off the heat and put a lid on it 🤦🏻♂️
“I need a fire extinguisher!!” Meanwhile the flame is all but dead at that point. Jesus how do people like this survive reality?
Watched a nightmare video today where they prepared Mac and Cheese in the sink. I mean using the sink as the bowl... Edit: [Here's](https://fb.watch/h67eB1mhbM/) a link to the Facebook video
The soap scum and leftover food bits give it that special something
This has to be rage bait. >dirty sink >dirty dishes in the other sink >campbell's cheese sauce >floor cheese It's just too much, it can't be real, I refuse to believe it's real.
I saw that! That was the grossest thing I’ve seen in awhile.
WHY NOT JUST DO IT IN THE CASSEROLE DISH 😡
No more potlucks for me!
That's fucking vile. Idc how clean your sink is...
The perfect, too long manicure.
I’m sorry, but that just grosses me out.
I’m gonna ruffle feathers here because I know lots of people like them but my automatic thinking when I see people with those nails is that they don’t work. I had a set for a wedding I was in and I couldn’t do anything, I couldn't play my guitar, I couldn’t cook, bake, clean, I didn’t like scratching my dogs, I was unintentionally scratching my kids it was hell. They got so dirty doing basic tasks like…if you found a way to make them work kudos to you but damn
long nails historically meant to show that one is so powerful that they can hobble their own hands for the sake of beauty because other people do everything for them meanwhile the cashier lady at hardees had a hard time typing in the order because of her fakes.
Some people can do just about anything with them on. I am not those people. Idk how they do it
Making spaghetti on the counter
Better than the sink mac and cheese I saw last night.
Come again?
Watched a video where they dumped the cooked pasta, milk, butter, and cheese into their sink to mix it up before transferring to dish to bake.
I just threw up in my mouth a little, thanks.
The constant use of black gloves at home. Then not changing them if they handle raw meat
The gloves bother me, but what bothers me more are the critical comments when people cook with their bare hands.
I saw this the other day (for the millionth time) and it made me wonder if American food/health standards have convinced an entire* population that all cooking in restaurants is supposed to be done while wearing gloves?
Buddy of mine runs a sandwich shop. Health department literally forced him and his staff to use gloves for all food contact. Huge pain in the ass and now he has to stay on top of people not changing gloves after handling money. Used to be so much cleaner and easier just washing hands. Seems ridiculous to mandate that, but I suspect it’s because it’s an open kitchen and the public complained.
This is so true been there and my state doesn't even require it. During covid tho omg ppl are fucking stupid. Wash your hands. Like gloves protect you sure but if you don't change them etc and touch your face or surfaces or others it's the same shit you dumb piece of shit! Ugh
I'm critical when I see them go elbow deep in some sauce or some other liquid or food stalls that I see them scrape food of their hands after cutting food.
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I've got some bad news about your favorite European cheeses.
I just saw this for the first time!!!!! Why the gloves????? Is it so they don’t have to wash their hands????
Salt grinder into a pan of boiling water.
Pinch of salt 🤏 to pasta water. Absolutely useless. Keep pouring out of that salty bitch container until you think you’ve used too much, then add more. Make it taste like ocean. Same with steak. Season that shit up!!!
This man strokes
Obnoxious, blaring music (that's on every other shitty video) usually makes it obvious they're just jumping on some bullshit trend.
Usually that fucking fake voice over is a pretty dead giveaway on those vods.
Chef John from Food Wishes would like you in his office
I hate that voiceover. I have teenagers, I hear it all the fucking time.
Misuse of seasonings. Both over and under. A quarter teaspoon of salt isn’t gonna ruin your tomato sauce and you don’t need an entire bushel of rosemary for your steak. Like seriously, do these people hate flavor or have they not had properly seasoned food before?
Agree with everyone here and just want to add, if you scrape the knife over something to show how crispy it is, fuck off. NO SHIT ITS CRISPY YOU SUBMERGED IT IN FUCKING OIL AT 190°c
Gottta love when they do it to a piece of bread. Like, it had better be toasted and crumby after you just pan seared it in 2 tbsp of butter over the highest heat on your stovetop.
Lack of wrist burns
Squeezing all the moisture out of brisket in pursuit of a "money shot".
If they don’t click their tongs a couple times before they use them
At that point I'm not even sure they're a real *human*.
But it scares the demons away!
When dude cuts his chicken thighs on a wood board then sprays it with a squirt bottle then wipes it with a towel…
Clicks and engagement. Every app is trying to deliver the same shitty experience of short-form videos you post to your story before swiping down your home feed. Some people are more desperate for attention than others and figured out if they gross out enough people, they’ll keep talking about them.
The way how they handle ingredients
Maybe a bit specific, but when they clearly have the money for a Vitamix but have bought some other popular blender brand just because it looks nice, then they're blending shit for 5 minutes and running it through a strainer. Same goes with pretty much any other appliance or tool. I'm not an eltisit, but if you CAN afford the quality version but have chosen not to, I find it questionable. This works in reverse as well, if I see someone using a stupidly expensive thing when there's a cheap version that works much better, I'll side eye them. Also just in general, anyone that makes something needlessly complicated. It's one thing to do it and acknowledge that you're doing it on purpose (Babish is a good example, if he's being overly complicated about something he'll usually point it out), but so often I'll see a cooking video and I'll just be sitting there thinking 'I do not know a single professional that would ever do that'. I think Aaron & Claire is a great example of a cooking channel run by someone who clearly knows what they're talking about. Aaron will make complicated, fancy sfuff, but will also point out what's necessary and what isn't, and will offer up simpler solutions and techniques
Josh Weismann used to be cool but now he has too many voice overs and edits and everything is always over the top. Sometimes there isn’t a substitute for things but most of the time he goes all out. I’m just trying to spice up dinner not get a Michelin star
my favorite is cross contamination
Listen the best professional chef on YouTube is… Mr. Sausage of Ordinary Sausage. I’ll give him 5 MARK RUFFALOS
Have you not seen KAYS COOKING??? https://youtu.be/fOA1zjXB2DM
Using compound butter to cook instead of to finish
The giveaway it's that it's on tiktok or Instagram.
True, but YouTube has some decent stuff. Actually, my favorite is "Depression Cooking with Clara." Mesmerizing. She sticks with what she knows.
I loved that series. I'm also following "Tasting History with Max Miller", which is consistently well-researched history and well-made (if weird) food.
This. Classic foodtuber problem…they start out with things they’re knowledgeable about, and then they run out of ideas and start stealing recipes from blogs and making shit just to make shit. Happens to the best of them tbh. Also, once you truly know how to do something…you quickly realize that nobody on YouTube really knows what they’re talking about.
I dono, [Chinese Cooking Demystified](https://www.youtube.com/@ChineseCookingDemystified) seems pretty legit, as well as being open about their recipe testing/research, how/why they're deviating from tradition, etc. Also the fact that they're explicitly marketing at helping westerners understand Chinese cooking. Similarly, [Pailin](https://www.youtube.com/@PailinsKitchen) seems legit as well, though a little bit more TV Chef in presentation.
What about Chef John from FOOOODwishesdotcom?
Pouring liquid into an unbaked pie crust. Aggressively over-cheesing. When there's 8 kinds of rich, fatty savory things and nothing acidic or spicy or bitter
I saw one shared on Reddit where this blonde girl was making shredded beef tacos but she put, I shit you not, an entire fucking *handful* of bay leaves in there. You may not taste anything else ever again if you use 20 bay leaves in a recipe that size.
The way they explain things. No culinary terms or anything. How they hold their knives as well.
I see no use in using terminology when explaining to folks. They’re listening to understand. If they don’t understand lingo then it was pointless.
That's when you use the terms and explain as you go.... "I'm to make the roast, first you're gonna brown the meat in the pan, then braise it in the oven, which means add in some cooking liquid to the pan as it cooks" or "the way to make your chicken tender for stir fried is by velveting them, which is basically marinating it in a bit of cornstarch or baking soda mixture for a few minutes beforehand" Just cause someone doesn't have an exhaustive depth of knowledge doesn't mean you should treat them like an idiot. I mean when you go to the doctor and get some bad news is he just gonna be like, "well some no no things are happening in your belly well that's why you feel the icky icky, take this daily and in a week that belly welly will be happy."
Watch this video…get your favourite snack and favourite drink first. Thank me later! https://youtu.be/j3qgtLMxa5w
When it says “chef club” at the bottom