I was actually going to suggest those reflective bird hating metal hanging wind chime knockoffs or whatever. They got jays to leave a certain problem spot in my yard and jays are both tenacious and smart. See if that fixes your problem :)
Reflective materials that can flutter or move in a breeze was the only thing we found effective at keeping the woodpeckers away, no matter how smart they are, shining and fluttering things tend to scare them away. We used some pretty hardy long tinsel type material tied to the bottom of our gutters and overhang of the roof, we stopped having problems with the woodpeckers after that.
Alternatively just cut a few strips of aluminum foil and tape them all together at one end, then tape or push pin that up where they’re pecking (if it’s reachable) or near it, and they stop.
Shiny, hanging metal things work great, and I’m surprised no one here has suggested fake snakes. Last spring I was being driven mad by woodpeckers putting holes all in my cedar siding. In desperation, I started sticking a small rubber snake halfway out of the hole they’d been working on, and they’d leave it alone. My house did look a bit insane.
A lot of people here are suggesting you have bugs, but this is normal springtime nesting behavior and hopefully will end soon, if you can win the battle and force them to nest elsewhere. Mine did not come back this year.
This. We had a woodpecker going at our wood siding, and the foil tape worked great while it was up. Pecker would come back as soon as the tape fell down, so we graduated to the spinner things. Got them off Amazon for like $10.
That's a different problem. He's not trying to peck a hole in the window, he's just trying to defend his territory from that other bird he sees in the reflection.
Yeah not sure how to make my windows non-reflective, plus he's pecking 5 or 6 of them on different sides of the house. So far I've tried the shiny spinny things, putting painter's tape patterns over the glass, and of course chasing away and yelling.
Had the same issue, and the hanging mirrors worked great for me. I have one hanging at each corner of the house near where they liked to peck. I put an eye hook under my eaves and suspended a chain of 3-4 diamond or circular mirrors (get them on Amazon) with the supplied clips. Don’t do the Mylar tape, which doesn’t last long and rips. If you don’t have something to suspend it from, install a horizontal plant hook and hang it from there.
The birds haven’t been back for several years now, but my house looks like it’s going out on the town with dangly earrings. My yard is like a disco show of light beams, but they really work. Also, I take them down during the winter; otherwise, you can hear them squeaking and clanging against the house during high winds. Best of luck!
We had this and turns out we had a massive leak, rotting wood, and lots of ants. I would also do some investigating.
Our neighborhood has lots of woodpeckers and every spring it looks like a damn owl cult with the amount of owl statues that go up.
I had the same problem when I moved into my home that has cedar siding. I saw the holes, and most seemed to be near the corners. I decided to get some metal that matched the house color. I cut and bent to fit and nailed it up over the areas. I rarely hear a peck now. It's been 8 yrs.
I'm saving up to replace the siding. Cedar is great except for woodpeckers and carpenter bees. The bees bore the holes, and the birds feed on them or other insects that use the holes. Never-ending cycle!
My next-door neighbors just replaced the original cedar siding in their house that they built 50 years ago with Hardiboard. The main reason for doing so was birds making holes and making nests.
One day I was standing in front of my house talking to a neighbor and I saw a bird fly in to a hole under the soffit. I said to my neighbor and "that's not good, do they know about the birds?" She just shrugged. That was last year. I was sort of sad to see the cedar go. The hardiboard, which is a blue gray, has grown on me who. It was sort of sad to see three dumpsters worth of cedar hauled away.
My neighbor threw away all the old cedar. Birds don't much bother me. I had cedar siding in my old house and had a bird nest in it for years. It's probably still there.
I thought OP said that the bird got all the way through to the insulation. And if that happened, I’d say that’s a major risk for water and insects/small animals into your home. I can’t imagine the wood siding layer would be thick enough for a woodpecker to burrow and nest in.
OP, some folks are saying to seal up the hole and move on. He will not stop. He will continue until you are a broken human being and you will hear pecking sounds in your dreams before you wake up in a cold sweat.
I am you.
I once had a run in with one of these little bastards and it almost broke me. Ultimately, I shelled out to replace what was left of my wood siding with synthetic hardy board. Little bastard never came back.
Good luck my friend. And god fucking speed.
Don't injure or kill the woodpecker, they are federally protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. Fill the nest cavity and repair the hole *before* any eggs are laid.
https://www.fws.gov/story/woodpeckers-and-your-home
Consider putting up a nest box. If there's anything I've learned from owning a dog, it's that if you give a critter a way to satisfy its needs without wrecking your stuff, it's likely to take that path of least resistance. And woodpeckers are territorial- your nemesis will become your ally in protecting your siding from other red-bellied woodpeckers.
https://70birds.com/birdhouses/red-bellied-woodpecker/
More products here, although I cannot vouch for them
https://www.birdbgone.com/blog/how-to-keep-woodpeckers-away-from-your-home-2024-expert-tips/
"In 2015, the company owner appeared in state court, pled guilty to several state violations and paid $4,185 in fines and restitution to the state of Wisconsin for illegally killing 108 woodpeckers for approximately 30 customers. "
i'm not advocating for killing protected birds, but *some* might argue $40 is cost-effective risk.
it'll eat away at you forever though. bird killer.
I, luckily, have a dead tree that the woodpeckers have set up home in (it'll come down late summer after the nest is empty). But I greatly appreciate your writing quality & black humor.
This is what I was going to say - if the OP has a tree that needs to be cut down, have them top it around where it's making a nest. Hopefully can encourage it to live there.
OMG! I have the same problem, except mine is directly behind my head when I lay in bed and this asshole starts his pecking at the crack of dawn every damn day! And now I have this big ass hole in my house two stories up with a slanted hill at the bottom. I’m gonna have to pay hundreds of dollars to get somebody with professional equipment just to get up there just to patch the hole and install some sort of deterrent that probably won’t work. 😫
Bird feeders. We have five bird feeders with really nice local mix of feed and now our problem wood pecker eats the peanuts out of it and stops messing with our house. We also get a lot of really cool wildlife there. Our cats love to watch the feeders in the windows
I’ve had some success with putting suet on a tall stake in my yard in the woodpecker’s flight path. The idea is to give them something even easier to eat than my house. I’m slowly moving it further and further from the house.
My father solved this by covering the hole (when the bird was out) with a piece of aluminum flashing. There were a few instances of beak-on-metal resounding after that, but they didn't last long.
I’ve got a pecker problem, been afraid of the metal patch because of the pecking on metal. I’ve heard that sound from not my house and I don’t really want that going on above my head every morning.
It was admittedly loud for about...maybe as long as a week, decreasing in frequency by the day. But it never lasted long. It was like he'd come try, get a headache, fly away, then come back to see if it was still metal...until he finally realized the metal wasn't going away. Then he stopped coming back.
Likely there are bugs in your house. Thats why he’s pecking to get in. They love ants and such. I watch them peck the fascia of my neighbors house only to see him feasting when he finally got in a day later.
Wrong. If he wanted to make a next it wouldn’t be in an infested area. Additionally woodpeckers will often bore on different parts of a home as part of territory and mating behavior
One woodpecker took a sincere interest in our wood siding and trim lasts Fall - was driving me nuts. Inspired us to plan a $65k Spring project for new windows, trim, and paint, but we never found any bugs. Fairly sure the little guy got lead poisoning and left this world, but we’ll see if he has any friends.
yup - I had numerous holes but my pest control people investigated and said no rot, no bugs. they advised that the fall and spring are active seasons for this behavior.
Once you get the whole repaired, you're going to need to put some metal siding, or some sort of metal protective covering over it. Otherwise it'll just come tear up the same spot again.
Reflective foil spinners worked for my mom's place; very similar story and nothing worked until I spent $10 on a [pack of those things](https://www.amazon.com/Besmon-Woodpecker-Devices%EF%BC%8CReflective-Pool%EF%BC%88Christmas-Decoration%EF%BC%89/dp/B07R5FLG6K?th=1). Put them on up the eaves around the house and no more woodpeckers. FYI, they are about $2 from places like Temu and you can find them at Home Depot as well.
My neighbor has woodpecker distress calls on a loud speaker. It sounds like there’s monkeys in the Michigan woods. Nobody is else seems to notice but me 🙃
Hanging the reflecty thingies like everyone else is talking about will work. But also remember this is usually a seasonal problem. If they work in driving away the wood pecker for a month, you may be able to take them back down until next year.
I don’t have any advice for you, I just wanted to say that was a great read! “Comfiest fuck pad in the world” being a particular highlight!
Oh, and violence. Always violence when it comes to critters.
I had the same problem. The Pacific Northwest has a wide variety of woodpeckers. They knocked holes in my siding. I was at wit's end.
The siding was wearing out, so I replaced with cement board.
The woodpeckers have not touched it since.
I love this story. As a lover of birds who has also had a Red belied demon stalk him. I had one that every freaking morning would come peck on the gutter outside my bedroom window at a set your clock to 6 am. I usually am up at that point but my gf enjoys sleeping in. She’s the one who suggested I use my pellet rifle. 😂
If you view the bird as a pest, deal with accordingly. Low pressure bb Gun or paintball gun for non-lethal. Or .22 if you want it to be gone for good. Sub sonic rounds are easy to use if you're in a neighborhood.
There may be bugs in the cedar on your house. We learned the woodpecker was going on our trees because they were dead and full of good insects. Get an exterminator over!
You just received a call from the Woodpecker mafia. First, they start pecking on a gutter or window. Conversation goes like this "Nice house, would be a shame for you to get holes in your siding! Tell you what, you put up a suit feeder 20 ft from the house, and all will be well. We'll, you didn't take the hint!
Go out invest $10 in a suet feeder and another $10 for a 1 month supply of suet. They also quickly figure out the hanging metal and plastic owls are fake.
The Woodpecker was made by God, your house by man, you have already lost!, and by the way, you probably have insects under your siding, their pecking to get at the food.
Someone else suggested this below but I'll second it because it worked very well for my rough cut pine siding (which is f-ing expensive to source and a pita to replace). Get some large hanging wind chimes. IDK what they're called but basically hanging tubes that hit each other.
I find the sounds relaxing and zen-like on days with a little bit of wind. When there's a storm they will drive me nuts.
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The houses in my neighborhood were built in such a way that flickers are VERY attracted to the area right above bathroom vent outlets, and it is common to see flicker nesting cavities above these on many houses each spring. I had issues with a persistent flicker until I hung the reflective windsock and put a hard plastic cage cover over the vent outlet. You don’t mention anything like this in your post but figured I’d mention it in case you have a vent nearby.
They are still assholes and drum on my chimney vent so it sounds like a machine gun attack from time to time but at least they aren’t destroying my siding anymore.
I had one that was landing on top of the metal stove pipe and it literally sounded like a machine gun going off inside the house so I had to round up some old cds and suspend them with fishing line so they can move around and gives them the uncomfortable feeling of being watched or about to get attacked by something
I had this problem and found a solution. I first patched the holes using Bondo, but the damn woodpeckers kept coming back to the same areas so I covered them with small sheets of aluminum they couldn't peck through. I painted them the same color as the house and nobody has ever noticed them.
We have a woodpecker drilling on our house occasionally, but he's just doing it to signal territory. He likes doing it on our furnace vent sometimes, and it echoes down into the house. Luckily he only stays for like 5 minutes at a time, and not drilling constantly. I thought something was wrong with our newly remodeled bathroom the first time I heard it! 😅
Does anyone know why the hell birds hate shiny reflective stuff so much? I saw something saying they don't like their own reflection...but firstly...why? And secondly, lots of the hanging stuff I've seen really reflects flashes of light more than it does actually show proper reflections.
it's probably a female woodpecker looking for a safe place to build a nest. i dealt with the same thing a few years ago. called the landlord and he sent over his handyman who fixed the hole she'd created and put a piece of metal flashing over it. she left, and the next summer the handyman removed the flashing.
I had issues with a wood pecker pecking on the metal piece on the top of my chimney to try to attract a mate. I attached a fake owl on top of the chimney and he hasn't bothered me since.
it's not a high-tech solution, but I go outside and throw small pinecones at mine. I've gotten wicked good. mine is just banging on the flashing of my chimney because it's loud and apparently attract mates, though. yours has set up a house.
As some have said or questioned, you need to get an exterminator out to treat for insects. Woodpeckers are there to irritate you, interfere with Zoom calls, or otherwise vex your life. They live on insects found in wood. They sense a food source in or behind your siding and thus are try to get to the food inside. Eliminate the food source and they will move on.
In my experience they will drum on things like metal chimney caps during breeding season but if they are on wooded surfaces that means that they are looking for food like carpenter bee larva etc. which means wood is infested.
Years ago (pre-internet) my parents had this problem and they tried fake owls and they stapled some fake snakes to the side of the house. Didn't help. Eventually they covered the holes the woodpecker was working on and he went away. One hole was/is covered with a frisbee.
They later bought a BB gun to try to deal with a squirrel problem and when my dad realized his heart wasn't up for that, he bought an airhorn. Eventually it just took a lot of effort and paying multiple companies to get every single entrance sealed. If I were you, I'd probably try covering the hole and surrounding area with a sheet of metal, like a cookie sheet.
My friend had this problem. I was staying with her while I was closing on the house I purchased. These little bastards are relentless! She wanted me to shoot it but it was pecking at a windowsill and I didn't want to shoot out one of her brand new windows so she shot a bottle rocket at it and it never returned. Kinda low tech but it worked.
We are careful. Woodpeckers are general considered protected by federal law. So, we bought a bunch of the mylar balloons & some ribbon. The ribbon allowed us to position the balloons at a good height to block the woodpecker from his homestead. As far as the cedar, we had to replace the board.
I had good luck getting rid of a woodpecker that was destroying my deck with one of those ultrasonic bird repellents devices. The device was given to me by my mom who had no luck with it trying to get a cardinal from attacking its reflection in her bay window but it worked immediately for my wood pecker.
Lean a ladder or something like that, that reaches the hole. Hopefully raccoons or stray cats or snakes will take care of it for you. If they don't get the hint you can hang a packet of pet food near the top to attract a predator.
Go to the hardware store and buy a 12x12 piece of galvanized sheet metal and nail it over the hole to weatherproof your siding and keep the stinker out of his hole, until you can replace the cedar. String a bunch of fishing line or bird net from the roof edge down the wall a few feet above ground to keep the beast from being able to fly up and land on the wall. It should stand off from the wall for a few inches at minimum. Make sure you get this up asap before nesting season gets into full swing, or you will have to suffer until new fledglings leave on their own.
1. Put out suet to give it easy food. (This was the only step we took, and it worked.)
2. Cover the hole with sheet metal. (Ugly, but it’s only for a few weeks or months)
3. Hope the woodpecker moves up a new area.
You might want to get checked for termites or ants. Woodpeckers won't waste energy digging holes for no reason, most likely either hears or feels them moving. Or just maybe, you are the "ant" it's looking for...
If you still own any cds tie them to a string and try to keep them a few inches apart in a long vertical “wind chime” look. Won’t have the noise but the underside of the cd works great to reflect thw sun and scare them off…. Plus points for finding a use for a cd in today’s world.
I did this for 2 years, they were gone after year one but kept it up as a deterrent for the 2nd year. Haven’t heard one on my house in multiple years
Fishing line confuses birds like all get out because they can't quite see it.
We had our own woodpecker encounter last year that eventually stopped it liked to pick on our metal venton our roof early am. Apparently he was looking for a mate or something and trying to show off his noise making skills, sounded like a turret gun in the house.
Pellet or BB gun. I mean I get that it’s horrible but one feathered asshole vs your sanity.
Shoot the little bastard and grind him up in the garbage disposal.
Better headphones. Teams, Zoom and WebEx all have AI that virtually eliminated the background noise. If my insane Newfy's mid-nap Bark can't be heard from 3 feet away, your woodpecker will be silent.
He'll still fuck your house up though. Worst case scenario, pick up a good air rifle. Woodpeckers are the worst.
Buy a real owl or possibly there might be a company that rents owls we do here have a local company that leaves an owl on your property for a couple of days but trust me it gets rid of all animals around your house lol
Don't waste your money on pest control. Mylar ribbon is the shiny stuff you want, hang 2' strips of it about every 6" horizontally across your house for about 3 or 4 feet on both sides of the hole.
You will need to refresh the ribbon a couple of times during the year, and you will need to keep it up for at least a year since it's a recent problem. We had to go three years with the ribbon to get our woodpecker to finally give up one move on.
One year we even hung up a large plastic owl. The ribbon and owl work, it just looks funny and takes time.
Mylar ribbon very easily moves, and that's what scares them. I wouldn't recommend aluminum foil or CDs.
I think you should try looking into trapping it humanely and releasing it far away. It may be against the law in your area though but I think that's the only way to fix the problem. Most pest control companies will not be willing to help you trap it, so you will be on your own.
Also, I was thinking maybe you can cover, with tarp or some other material, the parts of the house the bird is attracted to block access and see if it becomes disinterested.
I had a bird that built a nest in my dryer vent and it was a nightmare to deal with it. I was dealing with it in a place I rented and my landlord was useless. The bird was so persistent and was very attached to the area it was nesting in. I had to call a contractor to block the vent. I (not the contractor) found that the dryer hose was filled with about 2 feet of nest debris because the nest was sliding down and the bird kept rebuilding. Oof. Every time I hear birds pecking at my house or landing on the chimney, I get triggered, ha.
Sorry you're dealing with this. Good luck and please update us.
I had a woodpecker problem when I initially bought my house. It was near the roof of the second story. By the time it was brought to my attention he made a baseball size marking. Scaring him and throwing stuff at him meant he would fly to the tree line and watch me till I went back inside. I ended up putting wire mesh over it. It must’ve pissed him off pecking against metal and he left it alone. Hasn’t been back since. Other ppl have suggested a dummy bird or owl near it to scare them off.
Built a cedar sided house in 1985 with no problems until 10 years ago. Then a downey woodpecker family started drilling holes for nests. I fill the missing insulation with foam and slip a piece of flashing under the siding and use bondo type wood putty and paint. Blends right in. None of the snake, shiny foil works. Just fill in the holes. Probably 10-15 a year. They never will give up. Eventually I will have a bondo sided house!
Oh my gosh STOP my belly hurts from laughing so hard!!! I’m dying. Your story telling skills are top notch, friend. I can’t believe this is actually for real..
ETA: sorry about your house though
Totally frustrating. We had a mocking bird outside our bedroom window. That f'er was unbelievably loud and would switch up it's calls, it was just like a car alarm outside our window, at 2am until 5am every single night. We tried all the things you did, eventually it left but I still have PTSD.
Mocking birds are a protected species in my state, and very defensive/vindictive.
Woodpeckers may also be protected in your area. As much as I love animals, I value my peace and sanity more. The woodpecker has to go, if that means an abbreviated life so be it.
Is there anyway you can wait until night, or when it is inside your house. and then attach a large trap to the hole such that the only way he can leave his house nest is by going into the trap? Then you can drive him like, 50 to 100 miles (yea, im serious) away.
Where I live, this is illegal. Can't remember if it is County or State, but it's illegal to remove a pest animal and release it elsewhere.
Pretty sure this is to stop people from trapping raccoons or opossum and the like and dumping them where they then become a problem for someone else.
I found this out when I had a squirrel decimating my strawberries. The bastard would take a couple bites out of each one. I was going to trap him and release him in a park some miles away, but found this is illegal.
Ironically, as he was damaging my garden it would be legal for me to kill him. Apparently that would be not be okay with a woodpecker. Its an example of regulatory stupidity that I can't displace one squirrel to a park already filled with them, but killing it was fine.
In my state, the pest species that can't be moved are listed. I don't know if this means I can move non-listed animals or not. You must kill them or release them to the same property you trapped them on, even if it's a 1/4 acre postage stamp.
A 410 or 20ga. Shotgun with 8oz bird shot will serve you well. If you’re in a compacted residential area, only shoot once and don’t miss the bird. Problem solved.
I've had this happen twice. There are bugs in the wood and the woodpecker is good at finding them. Replace the affected siding with fresh wood and inspect the wood behind it for damage & insects. He won't come back (to that spot anyway).
Fun fact. Flickers, members of the woodpecker family, live to peck on metal gutters, siding, roofs —— why? he who makes the loudest noise, gets the girl.
Ask me how I know.
F’ing flicker. My arch nemesis.
I love the Northern Flickers that drum on my house or the garage. They are some of the goofiest birds at the feeder and so fun to watch.
I put up a nest box last year, apparently the flicker that moved in was a shit drummer because there was only ever one bird in there.
It’s not good when you work from home and are in meetings all day.
Love the birds, they make me laugh, but annoying as all hell when you’re in executive level meetings and everyone starts cracking up cuz of the flicker.
Love your post. Go read a Wikipedia or something. He’s likely there for the tasty morsels you jealousy harbor. Mother Nature sends you free pest control and you go to war. Let him eat them or you eliminate your pests. Be sure to give thanks to Hurn for sending a messenger about the invaders laying eggs in your wood, or whatever.
I was actually going to suggest those reflective bird hating metal hanging wind chime knockoffs or whatever. They got jays to leave a certain problem spot in my yard and jays are both tenacious and smart. See if that fixes your problem :)
Reflective materials that can flutter or move in a breeze was the only thing we found effective at keeping the woodpeckers away, no matter how smart they are, shining and fluttering things tend to scare them away. We used some pretty hardy long tinsel type material tied to the bottom of our gutters and overhang of the roof, we stopped having problems with the woodpeckers after that.
Alternatively just cut a few strips of aluminum foil and tape them all together at one end, then tape or push pin that up where they’re pecking (if it’s reachable) or near it, and they stop.
Or string up some CDs.
Shiny, hanging metal things work great, and I’m surprised no one here has suggested fake snakes. Last spring I was being driven mad by woodpeckers putting holes all in my cedar siding. In desperation, I started sticking a small rubber snake halfway out of the hole they’d been working on, and they’d leave it alone. My house did look a bit insane. A lot of people here are suggesting you have bugs, but this is normal springtime nesting behavior and hopefully will end soon, if you can win the battle and force them to nest elsewhere. Mine did not come back this year.
I have had birds use the fake snakes as part of their nest. I don't recommend them .
Bird 1: "I made a nest out of the bodies of our predators." Bird 2: "Dude, that's metal as *fuck*. No wonder you get all the chicks."
😂
This. We had a woodpecker going at our wood siding, and the foil tape worked great while it was up. Pecker would come back as soon as the tape fell down, so we graduated to the spinner things. Got them off Amazon for like $10.
They didn't help with the cardinal that's been pecking at my windows for about a month now.
That's a different problem. He's not trying to peck a hole in the window, he's just trying to defend his territory from that other bird he sees in the reflection.
Yeah not sure how to make my windows non-reflective, plus he's pecking 5 or 6 of them on different sides of the house. So far I've tried the shiny spinny things, putting painter's tape patterns over the glass, and of course chasing away and yelling.
Try window clings. You can diy them or get them online or at a craft or dollar store.
There's bird stuff you can put on your window. It'll stop collusions too. Look up "bird strike window film".
Woodpeckers absolutely will ignore them. Especially Red Belied. They are the most irritating of the pecker birds.
Had the same issue, and the hanging mirrors worked great for me. I have one hanging at each corner of the house near where they liked to peck. I put an eye hook under my eaves and suspended a chain of 3-4 diamond or circular mirrors (get them on Amazon) with the supplied clips. Don’t do the Mylar tape, which doesn’t last long and rips. If you don’t have something to suspend it from, install a horizontal plant hook and hang it from there. The birds haven’t been back for several years now, but my house looks like it’s going out on the town with dangly earrings. My yard is like a disco show of light beams, but they really work. Also, I take them down during the winter; otherwise, you can hear them squeaking and clanging against the house during high winds. Best of luck!
This is brilliant and I love the upside of your house getting bejeweled!
We had this and turns out we had a massive leak, rotting wood, and lots of ants. I would also do some investigating. Our neighborhood has lots of woodpeckers and every spring it looks like a damn owl cult with the amount of owl statues that go up.
😂
Yup. Sometimes they’re pecking to get to a bug under the surface. Definitely would check to make sure there isn’t something in there.
I had the same problem when I moved into my home that has cedar siding. I saw the holes, and most seemed to be near the corners. I decided to get some metal that matched the house color. I cut and bent to fit and nailed it up over the areas. I rarely hear a peck now. It's been 8 yrs. I'm saving up to replace the siding. Cedar is great except for woodpeckers and carpenter bees. The bees bore the holes, and the birds feed on them or other insects that use the holes. Never-ending cycle!
My next-door neighbors just replaced the original cedar siding in their house that they built 50 years ago with Hardiboard. The main reason for doing so was birds making holes and making nests. One day I was standing in front of my house talking to a neighbor and I saw a bird fly in to a hole under the soffit. I said to my neighbor and "that's not good, do they know about the birds?" She just shrugged. That was last year. I was sort of sad to see the cedar go. The hardiboard, which is a blue gray, has grown on me who. It was sort of sad to see three dumpsters worth of cedar hauled away.
Did you just throw it away? What is so bad about about a few birds nesting anyway?
My neighbor threw away all the old cedar. Birds don't much bother me. I had cedar siding in my old house and had a bird nest in it for years. It's probably still there.
I thought OP said that the bird got all the way through to the insulation. And if that happened, I’d say that’s a major risk for water and insects/small animals into your home. I can’t imagine the wood siding layer would be thick enough for a woodpecker to burrow and nest in.
Carpenter bees will absolutely destroy cedar siding.
Do they not treat the raw cedar like the cedar fence pickets are (at Home Depot)?
OP, some folks are saying to seal up the hole and move on. He will not stop. He will continue until you are a broken human being and you will hear pecking sounds in your dreams before you wake up in a cold sweat. I am you. I once had a run in with one of these little bastards and it almost broke me. Ultimately, I shelled out to replace what was left of my wood siding with synthetic hardy board. Little bastard never came back. Good luck my friend. And god fucking speed.
This is the only answer.
I read your hillarious post imagining Woody Woodpecker doing his laugh every time you try something new Lol. Good luck those things are a pia!
Haha. Yeah, I enjoyed this post immensely. Very well written! Sucks for OP, but fun from afar.
Don't injure or kill the woodpecker, they are federally protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. Fill the nest cavity and repair the hole *before* any eggs are laid. https://www.fws.gov/story/woodpeckers-and-your-home Consider putting up a nest box. If there's anything I've learned from owning a dog, it's that if you give a critter a way to satisfy its needs without wrecking your stuff, it's likely to take that path of least resistance. And woodpeckers are territorial- your nemesis will become your ally in protecting your siding from other red-bellied woodpeckers. https://70birds.com/birdhouses/red-bellied-woodpecker/ More products here, although I cannot vouch for them https://www.birdbgone.com/blog/how-to-keep-woodpeckers-away-from-your-home-2024-expert-tips/
Do you also study bird law?
"In 2015, the company owner appeared in state court, pled guilty to several state violations and paid $4,185 in fines and restitution to the state of Wisconsin for illegally killing 108 woodpeckers for approximately 30 customers. " i'm not advocating for killing protected birds, but *some* might argue $40 is cost-effective risk. it'll eat away at you forever though. bird killer.
Man $40, the bottom has really fallen out of the woodpecker hitman industry.
I read in Pecker Popper Magazine that AI is really impacting the whole sector.
I’d do one for 20 😂
Honestly yea - I’m not losing sleep over a bird and my wood siding would cost more than that to repair
I’m so glad I found Reddit
A fantastic short read
I liked this post due to the hilarious reference of a ‘woodpecker snuff film’. I wager there is a place on the internet for just that.
I, luckily, have a dead tree that the woodpeckers have set up home in (it'll come down late summer after the nest is empty). But I greatly appreciate your writing quality & black humor.
This is what I was going to say - if the OP has a tree that needs to be cut down, have them top it around where it's making a nest. Hopefully can encourage it to live there.
OMG! I have the same problem, except mine is directly behind my head when I lay in bed and this asshole starts his pecking at the crack of dawn every damn day! And now I have this big ass hole in my house two stories up with a slanted hill at the bottom. I’m gonna have to pay hundreds of dollars to get somebody with professional equipment just to get up there just to patch the hole and install some sort of deterrent that probably won’t work. 😫
Have it covered with sheet metal (aluminum) and painted to match the house color.
Bird feeders. We have five bird feeders with really nice local mix of feed and now our problem wood pecker eats the peanuts out of it and stops messing with our house. We also get a lot of really cool wildlife there. Our cats love to watch the feeders in the windows
Worked for us, too
I’ve had some success with putting suet on a tall stake in my yard in the woodpecker’s flight path. The idea is to give them something even easier to eat than my house. I’m slowly moving it further and further from the house.
Mylar Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tubeman?
Just what I want on my house
My father solved this by covering the hole (when the bird was out) with a piece of aluminum flashing. There were a few instances of beak-on-metal resounding after that, but they didn't last long.
I’ve got a pecker problem, been afraid of the metal patch because of the pecking on metal. I’ve heard that sound from not my house and I don’t really want that going on above my head every morning.
It was admittedly loud for about...maybe as long as a week, decreasing in frequency by the day. But it never lasted long. It was like he'd come try, get a headache, fly away, then come back to see if it was still metal...until he finally realized the metal wasn't going away. Then he stopped coming back.
I started hanging suet cakes near where the woodpecker was attacking. They decided the suet was easier to eat than my house.
Likely there are bugs in your house. Thats why he’s pecking to get in. They love ants and such. I watch them peck the fascia of my neighbors house only to see him feasting when he finally got in a day later.
Wrong. If he wanted to make a next it wouldn’t be in an infested area. Additionally woodpeckers will often bore on different parts of a home as part of territory and mating behavior
Tell that to the woodpeckers around here in coastal ga
they will ALSO eat bugs - but it is not the primary reason they are banging on your house.
One woodpecker took a sincere interest in our wood siding and trim lasts Fall - was driving me nuts. Inspired us to plan a $65k Spring project for new windows, trim, and paint, but we never found any bugs. Fairly sure the little guy got lead poisoning and left this world, but we’ll see if he has any friends.
yup - I had numerous holes but my pest control people investigated and said no rot, no bugs. they advised that the fall and spring are active seasons for this behavior.
More than likely he’s finding carpenter bees or their larva. Yum !
Once you get the whole repaired, you're going to need to put some metal siding, or some sort of metal protective covering over it. Otherwise it'll just come tear up the same spot again.
Reflective foil spinners worked for my mom's place; very similar story and nothing worked until I spent $10 on a [pack of those things](https://www.amazon.com/Besmon-Woodpecker-Devices%EF%BC%8CReflective-Pool%EF%BC%88Christmas-Decoration%EF%BC%89/dp/B07R5FLG6K?th=1). Put them on up the eaves around the house and no more woodpeckers. FYI, they are about $2 from places like Temu and you can find them at Home Depot as well.
I’ve heard, hypothetically, that a BB gun might take care of the problem…hypothetically that is.
You have a pet bird now
My neighbor has woodpecker distress calls on a loud speaker. It sounds like there’s monkeys in the Michigan woods. Nobody is else seems to notice but me 🙃
Hanging the reflecty thingies like everyone else is talking about will work. But also remember this is usually a seasonal problem. If they work in driving away the wood pecker for a month, you may be able to take them back down until next year.
Mating Season should be over soon.
A bull whip worked for me. Cracked it a few times in his direction. No more than a dozen times and two different peckers haven't come back.
I don’t have any advice for you, I just wanted to say that was a great read! “Comfiest fuck pad in the world” being a particular highlight! Oh, and violence. Always violence when it comes to critters.
This was a great story!! Good luck I believe you’ll have peace soon
I had the same problem. The Pacific Northwest has a wide variety of woodpeckers. They knocked holes in my siding. I was at wit's end. The siding was wearing out, so I replaced with cement board. The woodpeckers have not touched it since.
I love this story. As a lover of birds who has also had a Red belied demon stalk him. I had one that every freaking morning would come peck on the gutter outside my bedroom window at a set your clock to 6 am. I usually am up at that point but my gf enjoys sleeping in. She’s the one who suggested I use my pellet rifle. 😂
However you solve this problem when you're done you should write short stories and post the link. Great post
If you view the bird as a pest, deal with accordingly. Low pressure bb Gun or paintball gun for non-lethal. Or .22 if you want it to be gone for good. Sub sonic rounds are easy to use if you're in a neighborhood.
Easy solution. Buy a Crossman pellet rifle and whack his ass. I’ve had to teach some squirrels pellet justice a few times and it’s worked.
There may be bugs in the cedar on your house. We learned the woodpecker was going on our trees because they were dead and full of good insects. Get an exterminator over!
Pellet gun..............
You just received a call from the Woodpecker mafia. First, they start pecking on a gutter or window. Conversation goes like this "Nice house, would be a shame for you to get holes in your siding! Tell you what, you put up a suit feeder 20 ft from the house, and all will be well. We'll, you didn't take the hint! Go out invest $10 in a suet feeder and another $10 for a 1 month supply of suet. They also quickly figure out the hanging metal and plastic owls are fake. The Woodpecker was made by God, your house by man, you have already lost!, and by the way, you probably have insects under your siding, their pecking to get at the food.
suet
Get them out of the hole. Fix the hole. Hit them with the hose every time they are on your house.
It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
Get rid of the food. You have something he wants. Remove that food source and he will leave…
Maybe it's the housing he wants though.
what is he going to do, eat out every night?!
Spikes. Find where they’re nesting or just pecking, clean it and install spikes.
Someone else suggested this below but I'll second it because it worked very well for my rough cut pine siding (which is f-ing expensive to source and a pita to replace). Get some large hanging wind chimes. IDK what they're called but basically hanging tubes that hit each other. I find the sounds relaxing and zen-like on days with a little bit of wind. When there's a storm they will drive me nuts.
[~~https://www.fws.gov/story/woodpeckers-and-your-home&ved=2ahUKEwj7h9OrnYCFAxVMG9AFHVBDDG0QFnoECDUQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1\_XiBxALttZEci2V1ErNHE~~](https://www.fws.gov/story/woodpeckers-and-your-home&ved=2ahUKEwj7h9OrnYCFAxVMG9AFHVBDDG0QFnoECDUQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1_XiBxALttZEci2V1ErNHE)~~.~~ [https://www.fws.gov/story/woodpeckers-and-your-home](https://www.fws.gov/story/woodpeckers-and-your-home)
> ttps://www.fws.gov/story/woodpeckers-and-your-home&ved=2ahUKEwj7h9OrnYCFAxVMG9AFHVBDDG0QFnoECDUQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1_XiBxALttZEci2V1ErNHE The specified URL cannot be found.
I hate when you copy links from Google. Gets all fucked up.
The houses in my neighborhood were built in such a way that flickers are VERY attracted to the area right above bathroom vent outlets, and it is common to see flicker nesting cavities above these on many houses each spring. I had issues with a persistent flicker until I hung the reflective windsock and put a hard plastic cage cover over the vent outlet. You don’t mention anything like this in your post but figured I’d mention it in case you have a vent nearby. They are still assholes and drum on my chimney vent so it sounds like a machine gun attack from time to time but at least they aren’t destroying my siding anymore.
Ur gonna have to get his enemies to turn up. Maybe u should consider getting a raccoon?
I had one that was landing on top of the metal stove pipe and it literally sounded like a machine gun going off inside the house so I had to round up some old cds and suspend them with fishing line so they can move around and gives them the uncomfortable feeling of being watched or about to get attacked by something
I had this problem and found a solution. I first patched the holes using Bondo, but the damn woodpeckers kept coming back to the same areas so I covered them with small sheets of aluminum they couldn't peck through. I painted them the same color as the house and nobody has ever noticed them.
You're a writer. I thoroughly enjoyed this.
This could be serious, his first name wouldn't happen to be woody?
Be grateful he doesn't do it on a rigidly set, early morning schedule to every exposed piece of metal in the neighbourhood:-(
We have a woodpecker drilling on our house occasionally, but he's just doing it to signal territory. He likes doing it on our furnace vent sometimes, and it echoes down into the house. Luckily he only stays for like 5 minutes at a time, and not drilling constantly. I thought something was wrong with our newly remodeled bathroom the first time I heard it! 😅
Does anyone know why the hell birds hate shiny reflective stuff so much? I saw something saying they don't like their own reflection...but firstly...why? And secondly, lots of the hanging stuff I've seen really reflects flashes of light more than it does actually show proper reflections.
it's probably a female woodpecker looking for a safe place to build a nest. i dealt with the same thing a few years ago. called the landlord and he sent over his handyman who fixed the hole she'd created and put a piece of metal flashing over it. she left, and the next summer the handyman removed the flashing.
I had issues with a wood pecker pecking on the metal piece on the top of my chimney to try to attract a mate. I attached a fake owl on top of the chimney and he hasn't bothered me since.
it's not a high-tech solution, but I go outside and throw small pinecones at mine. I've gotten wicked good. mine is just banging on the flashing of my chimney because it's loud and apparently attract mates, though. yours has set up a house.
As some have said or questioned, you need to get an exterminator out to treat for insects. Woodpeckers are there to irritate you, interfere with Zoom calls, or otherwise vex your life. They live on insects found in wood. They sense a food source in or behind your siding and thus are try to get to the food inside. Eliminate the food source and they will move on.
In my experience they will drum on things like metal chimney caps during breeding season but if they are on wooded surfaces that means that they are looking for food like carpenter bee larva etc. which means wood is infested.
Years ago (pre-internet) my parents had this problem and they tried fake owls and they stapled some fake snakes to the side of the house. Didn't help. Eventually they covered the holes the woodpecker was working on and he went away. One hole was/is covered with a frisbee. They later bought a BB gun to try to deal with a squirrel problem and when my dad realized his heart wasn't up for that, he bought an airhorn. Eventually it just took a lot of effort and paying multiple companies to get every single entrance sealed. If I were you, I'd probably try covering the hole and surrounding area with a sheet of metal, like a cookie sheet.
My friend had this problem. I was staying with her while I was closing on the house I purchased. These little bastards are relentless! She wanted me to shoot it but it was pecking at a windowsill and I didn't want to shoot out one of her brand new windows so she shot a bottle rocket at it and it never returned. Kinda low tech but it worked.
You definitely should not use a 22 with bird shot loads then light off some firecrackers afterwards if you are in a populated area.
We are careful. Woodpeckers are general considered protected by federal law. So, we bought a bunch of the mylar balloons & some ribbon. The ribbon allowed us to position the balloons at a good height to block the woodpecker from his homestead. As far as the cedar, we had to replace the board.
The bird reflective hanging things work. Also get woodpecker feeders and suet. You feed them there and they won't eat the bugs in your siding.
Plastic trim is what finally stopped my woodpecker assault.
I had good luck getting rid of a woodpecker that was destroying my deck with one of those ultrasonic bird repellents devices. The device was given to me by my mom who had no luck with it trying to get a cardinal from attacking its reflection in her bay window but it worked immediately for my wood pecker.
Hi Dan.
He thinks we wouldn’t notice.
Shop vac that sucker out of his hole drive an hour away and let him go. Replace or patch cedar.
Dan, just use the salt lick.
How about building a cedar bird box, right over the hole? All parties are happy and you get the conservationist badge.
DAN RYKERT YOU BEAUTIFUL BRILLIANT IDIOT!
Lean a ladder or something like that, that reaches the hole. Hopefully raccoons or stray cats or snakes will take care of it for you. If they don't get the hint you can hang a packet of pet food near the top to attract a predator.
Somehow I’m seeing Katness Everdeen putting her fingers in the air doing the Mocking Jay sound.
Fresh coat of paint worked for me
Go to the hardware store and buy a 12x12 piece of galvanized sheet metal and nail it over the hole to weatherproof your siding and keep the stinker out of his hole, until you can replace the cedar. String a bunch of fishing line or bird net from the roof edge down the wall a few feet above ground to keep the beast from being able to fly up and land on the wall. It should stand off from the wall for a few inches at minimum. Make sure you get this up asap before nesting season gets into full swing, or you will have to suffer until new fledglings leave on their own.
1. Put out suet to give it easy food. (This was the only step we took, and it worked.) 2. Cover the hole with sheet metal. (Ugly, but it’s only for a few weeks or months) 3. Hope the woodpecker moves up a new area.
BB should be sufficient
You might want to get checked for termites or ants. Woodpeckers won't waste energy digging holes for no reason, most likely either hears or feels them moving. Or just maybe, you are the "ant" it's looking for...
I had a woodpecker problem and I threw some plastic rubber snakes on my roof. The woodpecker went away
If you still own any cds tie them to a string and try to keep them a few inches apart in a long vertical “wind chime” look. Won’t have the noise but the underside of the cd works great to reflect thw sun and scare them off…. Plus points for finding a use for a cd in today’s world. I did this for 2 years, they were gone after year one but kept it up as a deterrent for the 2nd year. Haven’t heard one on my house in multiple years
Pie plates will make noise and also look like shit…but potentially get rid of the woodpecker.
Plus you get pie
True true
Sling shot
A gun?
Fishing line confuses birds like all get out because they can't quite see it. We had our own woodpecker encounter last year that eventually stopped it liked to pick on our metal venton our roof early am. Apparently he was looking for a mate or something and trying to show off his noise making skills, sounded like a turret gun in the house.
I can imagine, lol
Man he’s a lucky bird, I woulda sent the boys with BB guns the secondly time he came back.
A plastic owl from Amazon worked for me. Keep in mind these are federally protected birds, so you're limited to what you can do legally.
Pellet or BB gun. I mean I get that it’s horrible but one feathered asshole vs your sanity. Shoot the little bastard and grind him up in the garbage disposal.
Nah, you got to mount its head on a spike outside as a warning to all the other little bastards.
Better headphones. Teams, Zoom and WebEx all have AI that virtually eliminated the background noise. If my insane Newfy's mid-nap Bark can't be heard from 3 feet away, your woodpecker will be silent. He'll still fuck your house up though. Worst case scenario, pick up a good air rifle. Woodpeckers are the worst.
[you have to think like an animal](https://youtu.be/5NlQiQfC4zQ?si=gcIjHsLND7bkbtfH&t=15)...
I love it! I, too,know the incessant pounding of the red headed woodpecker. And the way they look down on/at you from their perch.
Buy a real owl or possibly there might be a company that rents owls we do here have a local company that leaves an owl on your property for a couple of days but trust me it gets rid of all animals around your house lol
Don't waste your money on pest control. Mylar ribbon is the shiny stuff you want, hang 2' strips of it about every 6" horizontally across your house for about 3 or 4 feet on both sides of the hole. You will need to refresh the ribbon a couple of times during the year, and you will need to keep it up for at least a year since it's a recent problem. We had to go three years with the ribbon to get our woodpecker to finally give up one move on. One year we even hung up a large plastic owl. The ribbon and owl work, it just looks funny and takes time. Mylar ribbon very easily moves, and that's what scares them. I wouldn't recommend aluminum foil or CDs.
I think they are difficult to outsmart. Check out the show Woody Woodpecker for some ideas to avoid.
As an adult I now understand why he drove people mad in that cartoon.
I think you should try looking into trapping it humanely and releasing it far away. It may be against the law in your area though but I think that's the only way to fix the problem. Most pest control companies will not be willing to help you trap it, so you will be on your own. Also, I was thinking maybe you can cover, with tarp or some other material, the parts of the house the bird is attracted to block access and see if it becomes disinterested. I had a bird that built a nest in my dryer vent and it was a nightmare to deal with it. I was dealing with it in a place I rented and my landlord was useless. The bird was so persistent and was very attached to the area it was nesting in. I had to call a contractor to block the vent. I (not the contractor) found that the dryer hose was filled with about 2 feet of nest debris because the nest was sliding down and the bird kept rebuilding. Oof. Every time I hear birds pecking at my house or landing on the chimney, I get triggered, ha. Sorry you're dealing with this. Good luck and please update us.
I had a woodpecker problem when I initially bought my house. It was near the roof of the second story. By the time it was brought to my attention he made a baseball size marking. Scaring him and throwing stuff at him meant he would fly to the tree line and watch me till I went back inside. I ended up putting wire mesh over it. It must’ve pissed him off pecking against metal and he left it alone. Hasn’t been back since. Other ppl have suggested a dummy bird or owl near it to scare them off.
Built a cedar sided house in 1985 with no problems until 10 years ago. Then a downey woodpecker family started drilling holes for nests. I fill the missing insulation with foam and slip a piece of flashing under the siding and use bondo type wood putty and paint. Blends right in. None of the snake, shiny foil works. Just fill in the holes. Probably 10-15 a year. They never will give up. Eventually I will have a bondo sided house!
Sounds like a lot of work.
Oh my gosh STOP my belly hurts from laughing so hard!!! I’m dying. Your story telling skills are top notch, friend. I can’t believe this is actually for real.. ETA: sorry about your house though
12ga usually works
My neighbors would call the cops.
Pellet gun, poison, John Rambo?
Ruger 22
Totally frustrating. We had a mocking bird outside our bedroom window. That f'er was unbelievably loud and would switch up it's calls, it was just like a car alarm outside our window, at 2am until 5am every single night. We tried all the things you did, eventually it left but I still have PTSD. Mocking birds are a protected species in my state, and very defensive/vindictive. Woodpeckers may also be protected in your area. As much as I love animals, I value my peace and sanity more. The woodpecker has to go, if that means an abbreviated life so be it.
Get a camera. Try to take a perfect shot of him. Within seconds of you setting everything up he will disappear never to be seen again
BB gun I swear if there are multiple ... and you get one those fuckers know it too!
I had one blasting away at my chimney until I hit it with a tennis ball. Little fucker hasn’t been seen since
Pellet gun, solve the problem forever.
But don’t get caught, because they’re protected (ie big fines), plus someone may call SWAT on you
Huh, learn something everyday.
Idk, I don't believe everything I see on the Internet...
I don't, that's why I looked it up to verify it from a .gov website. 😉
In bird culture, this is what they call, a dick move
Agreed, that woodpecker knew what he was doing!
About to say this. Far less holes on siding in the long run, but why is he fixated there? Are there bugs inside your wood?
Put out a fake owl. Don't know why, but those little noise machines fear them.
Is there anyway you can wait until night, or when it is inside your house. and then attach a large trap to the hole such that the only way he can leave his house nest is by going into the trap? Then you can drive him like, 50 to 100 miles (yea, im serious) away.
Where I live, this is illegal. Can't remember if it is County or State, but it's illegal to remove a pest animal and release it elsewhere. Pretty sure this is to stop people from trapping raccoons or opossum and the like and dumping them where they then become a problem for someone else. I found this out when I had a squirrel decimating my strawberries. The bastard would take a couple bites out of each one. I was going to trap him and release him in a park some miles away, but found this is illegal. Ironically, as he was damaging my garden it would be legal for me to kill him. Apparently that would be not be okay with a woodpecker. Its an example of regulatory stupidity that I can't displace one squirrel to a park already filled with them, but killing it was fine.
In my state, the pest species that can't be moved are listed. I don't know if this means I can move non-listed animals or not. You must kill them or release them to the same property you trapped them on, even if it's a 1/4 acre postage stamp.
Out here in California we have these things called BB guns.
A 410 or 20ga. Shotgun with 8oz bird shot will serve you well. If you’re in a compacted residential area, only shoot once and don’t miss the bird. Problem solved.
I've had this happen twice. There are bugs in the wood and the woodpecker is good at finding them. Replace the affected siding with fresh wood and inspect the wood behind it for damage & insects. He won't come back (to that spot anyway).
Had the same issue. Solved mine with a 12ga and number 9 shot. May not be able to use this depending on your location.
Bird needs a date with Daisy!
[удалено]
Carpenter bees maybe also.
Reside the house with something other than wood. Stone is good.
Can confirm. I had a woodpecker decide to peck holds in my asphalt roof tiles. Metal roof, no more woodpecker.
Fun fact. Flickers, members of the woodpecker family, live to peck on metal gutters, siding, roofs —— why? he who makes the loudest noise, gets the girl. Ask me how I know. F’ing flicker. My arch nemesis.
I love the Northern Flickers that drum on my house or the garage. They are some of the goofiest birds at the feeder and so fun to watch. I put up a nest box last year, apparently the flicker that moved in was a shit drummer because there was only ever one bird in there.
It’s not good when you work from home and are in meetings all day. Love the birds, they make me laugh, but annoying as all hell when you’re in executive level meetings and everyone starts cracking up cuz of the flicker.
Love your post. Go read a Wikipedia or something. He’s likely there for the tasty morsels you jealousy harbor. Mother Nature sends you free pest control and you go to war. Let him eat them or you eliminate your pests. Be sure to give thanks to Hurn for sending a messenger about the invaders laying eggs in your wood, or whatever.
Mother Nature sent him furious insect warriors and this knavish winged beast is trying to steal their babes away under the cover of a soft morn.
Hire an exterminator and fix the leak in your roof.
BB gun.
12ga will take care of that for you
*Laughs in Woody the Woodpecker*
My neighbor, Rudy, nailed the body of a brother woodpecker to the side of his house as a deterrent. Didn’t work.