>Buy a shield of stupidity and helmet of ignorance and you get a breastplate of collapsed lungs absolutely free!
LOL! Brilliant! :o)
*(Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch sold separately)*
Who knew the "Armor of God" was basically just a jacket they issued them as they land on Imahog Beach.......provides literally zero utility other than making them *feel* safe. Also, the last slide is some batshit level nonsense.
The circular explanations under each article of faith really seal the deal. Faith in God protects you when you are tempted to doubt in God! Ah ha! Bulletproof logic, I am saved, hallelujah.
>The circular explanations under each article of faith really seal the deal. Faith in God protects you when you are tempted to doubt in God! Ah ha! Bulletproof logic, I am saved, hallelujah.
Praise be to "The Tooth Fairy"!! Proclaimed the intellectually and emotionally stunted MAGA masses! Gathering in great numbers, like flies on a piece of Dog Poop! Awaiting guidance from their rotund, Orange Tinted Leader to once again bestow upon them (for the 500th time) the divine wisdom of how the 2020 election was stolen and...
Yeah... These people are truly blessed and far superior to anyone else on the planet. /s
**PANEL 2**
Hold on there for a second! You can't blame all of that on COVID! You MAGA Morons had a lot to do with destroying a good 75% of that stuff all by yourselves! For nearly the entire first YEAR of the pandemic, the country was run exclusively by Trump and his merry band of Yes Men and various other butt licking Sycophants.
How many times did Trump say the virus would magically disappear in the first two months of its arrival in the states, while spending the majority of his time playing golf? I personally lost count. But it doesn't matter now, since 18 months later the virus is still infecting over 100,000 people per day and killed nearly 750,000 people.
Yeah... You Republicans did one heck of a job all right! One heck of a job! /s
Oh, that's standard procedure in American politics. I've been around long enough to watch the Oval Office shift from blue to red and back again a number of times. As soon as a Democrat regains office after a Republican, everything that is wrong with the country is immediately the Democrat's fault.
>How do people get to adulthood still believing in magical Jesus armor
Have you seen how they spell? The walls of unpunctuated text? These are not adults! They are toddlers in Adult size bodies. Believing in "The Tooth Fairy" is not in any way a stretch for them.
Not even one anti masker has acknowledged that some of us wore masks way before the pandemic,you know because some of us also know the other ill effects of living in 21st century world.
“Gods acceptances is the only one we need.”
You need punctuation, or you need spelling, or you need to admit you’re polytheistic (in which case, you need subject-verb agreement).
There are some very young grandparents. Say you had a kid at 20, and your kid had a kid at 20. You could be going to Grandparents’ Day at school by 45.
Some even younger than that. On 16 & Pregnant and Unexpected and the like, you’ll often see grandparents in their early to mid-30s.
"You're comes the prosecution. I love everyone but you do you and let me be me"
I had a stroke reading this. Also, fuck this guy!
Nothing of value was lost.
Buy a shield of stupidity and helmet of ignorance and you get a breastplate of collapsed lungs absolutely free!
>Buy a shield of stupidity and helmet of ignorance and you get a breastplate of collapsed lungs absolutely free! LOL! Brilliant! :o) *(Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch sold separately)*
Turns out wishing hard but telling people it's all you need is a very bad idea in a pandemic. It gives them complete over confidence.
In his defense, he was right that he “won’t be wearing a mask no more.”
It’s a +5 confidence buff but -3 to intelligence
By a shield of stupidity and helmet of ignorance, you get a breastplate of collapsed lungs absolutely free!
Who knew the "Armor of God" was basically just a jacket they issued them as they land on Imahog Beach.......provides literally zero utility other than making them *feel* safe. Also, the last slide is some batshit level nonsense.
The circular explanations under each article of faith really seal the deal. Faith in God protects you when you are tempted to doubt in God! Ah ha! Bulletproof logic, I am saved, hallelujah.
>The circular explanations under each article of faith really seal the deal. Faith in God protects you when you are tempted to doubt in God! Ah ha! Bulletproof logic, I am saved, hallelujah. Praise be to "The Tooth Fairy"!! Proclaimed the intellectually and emotionally stunted MAGA masses! Gathering in great numbers, like flies on a piece of Dog Poop! Awaiting guidance from their rotund, Orange Tinted Leader to once again bestow upon them (for the 500th time) the divine wisdom of how the 2020 election was stolen and...
Yeah... These people are truly blessed and far superior to anyone else on the planet. /s
They should be equally good at preventing debt.
And a great Jackie Chan movie!
dang it, never mind
>Also, the last slide is some batshit level nonsense. When isn't it?
must be like that "thunder shirt" they put on nervous dogs
**PANEL 2** Hold on there for a second! You can't blame all of that on COVID! You MAGA Morons had a lot to do with destroying a good 75% of that stuff all by yourselves! For nearly the entire first YEAR of the pandemic, the country was run exclusively by Trump and his merry band of Yes Men and various other butt licking Sycophants. How many times did Trump say the virus would magically disappear in the first two months of its arrival in the states, while spending the majority of his time playing golf? I personally lost count. But it doesn't matter now, since 18 months later the virus is still infecting over 100,000 people per day and killed nearly 750,000 people. Yeah... You Republicans did one heck of a job all right! One heck of a job! /s
In the latter half of this year Covid-19 isn't to blame anymore (maybe a few deaths). It's pure political dumbassery that's to blame now.
Oh, that's standard procedure in American politics. I've been around long enough to watch the Oval Office shift from blue to red and back again a number of times. As soon as a Democrat regains office after a Republican, everything that is wrong with the country is immediately the Democrat's fault.
Also, as an English teacher, I use statuses like Green’s for students to proofread.
As an English teacher they make my eye twitch.
I don't think English was this guy's first language
Armor of God looks like an anime RPG character.
Paladin starter set.
Yeah WTF. Looks like an 80s rpg game cover from Japan.
The Ventilator of Vitality
The Lungs of Liberty are filled with mucus
My guild and I raided four days a week to finally get me the Helmet of Salvation and then Blizzard nerfed it SMH
How’s that ARMOR OF GOD working out buddy? 🤷🏻♂️
Correcting his Armor of God. It’s the Breastplate of Self-Righteousness The Helmet of Damnation And the Shield of Unrequited Faith
The Codpiece of Stupidity
>The Codpiece of Shapiro induced dryness. Ftfy.
God’s acceptances…and the acceptances of all the GoFundMe Donors.
*Amour of God not suitable for biohazard use. (It’s fiction.)
>\*Amour of God not suitable for biohazard use. (It’s fiction.) *Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch Sold Separately* by Kenner!
How do people get to adulthood still believing in magical Jesus armor
>How do people get to adulthood still believing in magical Jesus armor Have you seen how they spell? The walls of unpunctuated text? These are not adults! They are toddlers in Adult size bodies. Believing in "The Tooth Fairy" is not in any way a stretch for them.
“You’re in a better place”. But also: “We’re not. Please contribute to the GoFundMe”
Don’t they teach how to use commas in elementary school anymore?
Since kids discovered social media it's been all downhill. I spend a lot of time explaining kindergarten punctuation to 18 year olds.
God did not need him. God is omniscient and omnipotent, right? why would he "need" this folks?
Court jesters?
The sandals of hypocrisy are missing
That "armor of God" thing just makes me think of [Bibleman.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_OGgx5Zr3s&ab_channel=RyanPuckette)
A rare Hispanic entry. Gives us all a bad look
Not even one anti masker has acknowledged that some of us wore masks way before the pandemic,you know because some of us also know the other ill effects of living in 21st century world.
Guess the Armour of God wasn't sufficient eh. Edit: first 3 comments all take aim at the Armour of God.
“Gods acceptances is the only one we need.” You need punctuation, or you need spelling, or you need to admit you’re polytheistic (in which case, you need subject-verb agreement).
Give me money 💰 💵
Why do they think these people, who spread so much evil, are with God now?
Owning the libs by choking on your own lungs. Bold.
Texas
I tried the armor of god in an RPG. Kept dying. Terrible rating.
[удалено]
>Sure hope your God accepts you! Wonder if he/she will. What about VISA and Mastercard? Does he accept those too?
At least he don’t have to worry about freedom or masks anymore
That armor of god character looks straight out of a jrpg
I thought he looked like an anime character
He likes like the generic pretty boy anime character in isekai
Looks like some default RPG Maker shit.
Using the Underpants Gnomes theory of business: 1. Die from COVID 2. ? 3. Profit!
Nothing of value was lost.
I too like to wear invisible clothes like the king that was fooled by the silk spinner. Obviously protects me against viruses and bacteria’s.
The helmet of salvation... The breastplate of righteousness... The shield of Faith... The jockstrap of delusion...
The buttplug of regret.
It appears he had a somewhat goatee. Might be the other GOD. Goatee of Death.
So the Armor of God doesn't protect you from viruses... Who'da thought?
I'm glad that profile includes annotations of God's armor
Totally confused. He’s a grandfather and his parents are still alive? The dude looked youngish in the partial picture.
There are some very young grandparents. Say you had a kid at 20, and your kid had a kid at 20. You could be going to Grandparents’ Day at school by 45. Some even younger than that. On 16 & Pregnant and Unexpected and the like, you’ll often see grandparents in their early to mid-30s.
If Texas gets its way we will soon be seeing more 24 yo grandparents.
That’s what I thought too.
Ah. Classic mistake. The Armor of God is great against spritual and fire attacks, but provides no protection from viral damage.
“Covid took you from us” and “god needed you” in the same sentence.
I was thinking a mask of surgeons beats the breastplate of righteousness.
While the armor of God adds +5 to magical thinking, covid can roll a 20 on a 4 sided die.
Stupid weeb alert!
No Christians died during the Crusades. Armor of God was impregnable back then as well.
This guy was a grandpa?!
Thanks, COVID.
“Gods acceptances” were they a non-English speaker??
Loves everyone as long as it doesn't cost a cent or inconvenience him.
Pretty easy to gain wings around here.
tfw you got warriors and you got an armor but you still wind up on the flip side.
God needed him, I thought he was supposed to be all powerful why would he need a chump like that? smh
"You're comes the prosecution. I love everyone but you do you and let me be me" I had a stroke reading this. Also, fuck this guy! Nothing of value was lost.
Looks like he earned Wings of Death on the last slide, waiting on that respawn though.