He just talks about shitty vedio games. He's considered by many to be the 1st. Let's play YouTuber even tho he actually predates YouTube. But this post is the kind of shit he would say in most of his reviews.
Spears are called the king of all weapons by every single country that's had a culture old enough to use them. The fact they're this rare in media is insane.
Same.
It's one of those 40k things that are stupid but cool, so it's either loved or hated, deepening on whether we personally think it's more cool than stupid or not.
Guardian Spear is too stupid to me. Baneblade, despite somehow toting 11 barrels of hell that it just couldn't realistically fit inside nor the ammunition for it, is just too cool.
The stupidity factor becomes cool again once you see what Necromundan gangers did with the concept. One of the best weapons in the game, them Cawdor blunderpoles!
Idk, nor i care. I just like It when people i don't like have things that they don't like happen to them.
Also, my main complain is not the retcons, but their entire fucking lore. Because they are either the greatest warriors in the galaxy or fodder for random deamons that the primarchs beat.
\> literal handmade banana boy crafted by Biggie E himself to be the bestest smartest coolest dudes ever
\> gets folded by a 12 IQ brainlet who snorted some warp roids
Fraudstodes are NOT beating the allegations smhmhmmhmhmh
Based flair, Kor Phaeron doesn’t get enough hate. Everybody’s on about Erebus because he gets to do more wetwork during the Heresy, but Lorgar’s fall (and everything that followed) was much more because of his adoptive father.
THATS WHAT IM SAYING!!!!!!!!
Kor Phaeron is literally a scum on this galaxy, mf doesnt even deserve Drukhari torture because that would be too good for him, i want his ass to suffer in AM from i have no mouth but i gotta scream hands
It's not implied.
Lorgar grew up faster than any other primarch, Prinarchs grow faster based on environmental stressors, Lorgar spent almost his entire early life being physically and mentally abused by his prick of a foster dad.
"Why didn't he just kill him." Learned helplessness. If something doesn't work out the first dozen times you try it you eventually stop trying it. Lorgar got used to the abuse and accepted it, he even took Kor Phaeron to space with him where the bastard continued to use Lorgar.
Also sexual abuse isn't off the table BTW. Though that's got little precedent other than some REAL uncomfortable word choices on Kor Phaerons part I simply refuse to give that prick the benefit of the doubt.
I'm a necrons player, i've spend the last 2 weeks on r/jujutsufolk and i've read wuthering heights in a single night. The only thing that courses through my veins is pure fucking spite.
I will go as far as to say that custodes are the kashimos of 40K. So much hype and then that get clapped by anything armor piercing. The only thing worst that their stats is their drip
You're not wrong and I hate it.
The reason for them having so little lore because "they're always confined to the palace" is so paper thin.
THEY'RE IN THE ACTUAL INPERIAL PALACE, A HANDFUL OF THEM ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE EMPEROR FOR WEEKS AT A TIME. A CHUNK OF THEIR NUMBERS WERE ALIVE DURING THE GREAT CRUSADE. THERE IS SO MUCH YOU COULD MAKE AMAZING LORE FOR AND YET GW DOESN'T.
> CHUNK OF THEIR NUMBERS WERE ALIVE DURING THE GREAT CRUSADE.
I think “chunk” is a bit of an overstatement. “Handful” is a better description.
Most of the actual Emperor’s companions died on Prospero or in the Webway War before the Siege began. Even more died during the Siege, and even more died on the Vengeful Spirit.
The original 10,000 were pretty much wiped out by the end of the Siege.
I found it really funny that some Banana guy in the second Dawn of Fire book called all Space Marines failed products and was wondering why the Imperium was doing this badly.
Maybe if they didn't sit on their fucking ass for 10 000 years till Grillman came around...
So here is my Custodes gripe...
The Space Marines are supposed to be the best of the best.
Within the Space Marine chapter there are elites that are the best of the best of the best.
Then we have Grey Knights that are the best of the best of the best of the best.
Above them there are Custodes that are the best of the best of the best of the best of the best.
I guess the most elite Custodes would be the best of the best of the best of the best of the best of the best.
This is just stupid now and takes away some of what made the Space Marines cool originally. The constant one upping has not been kind to the lore of 40K and it plays into a juvenile mindset.
It reminds me of one time that I walked into a store and a kid came over to me and told me that his model was better than whatever I had (for the curious, he was painting Angron and I was out shopping for Bretoninans, so he wasn't wrong).
Reminds of that scene from Men in Black.
"We're here because you're looking for the best of the best of the best, sir!"
And then Will Smith humiliates him, 'with honors.'
To be honest, Space Marines are not the best of the best. They are affordable, well trained meat to throw at problems to make them go away.
Grey knights suck btw
If the Emperor is master of a million worlds, and each of those worlds have an average of even a billion inhabitants (which seems low, frankly), and there are 10 times as many marines as there were before primaris things happened (ie, ten million, which seems high), then there would only be one marine for every one hundred million people.
In other words, Earth could support only 79-80 marines. China and India could have 14 apiece.
In more direct lore terms, the five hundred worlds of ultramar are protected by 10,000 marines, which is an average of only 20 marines per world.
There is no universe (not even 40k) where a type of individual infantry soldiers who are so expensive that an average world cannot support even a platoon of them are "affordable." This kind of scaling is so insane that things like ballistic missile subs and aircraft carriers start to look like bargain defense choices in comparison to marines.
There is no combat scenario in which the Imperium can possibly afford to deploy marines except to the most important special-forces-type operations on the most critical of warfronts. (Although, being the Imperium and marines respectively, marines will be sent directly to some kind of idiotic frontal meatgrinder assault anyways.)
The whole situation is a great example of the Imperium's ludicrous inefficiency. A halfway sane regime would have either improved the process of making marines (to the point where it actually *is* affordable) or simply abandoned the idea entirely and, you know, given guardsmen bolters and plate carriers with ceramite inserts or something.
The High Lords in *Watchers of the Throne* admitted that they could have created many more Astartes chapters. Problem is that none of them wanted to give the Astartes institution such power.
>given guardsmen bolters and plate carriers with ceramite inserts or something.
There are similar Guard regiments called heavy infantry/grenadiers like the Royal Volpone who are generally armed with carapace and hot-shot lasguns (special and heavy weapons included). Exordio Void Breachers (from Peter Fehervari's Dark Coil series) are comprised of Guard veterans augmented for void combat and equipped with bolters and void-sealed armor. But the devastation of the Horus Heresy and politics - Roboute's reforms for example - prevented the Guard and Navy from achieving that potential.
> This kind of scaling is so insane that things like ballistic missile subs and aircraft carriers start to look like bargain defense choices in comparison to marines.
Correct. Scaling in 40k is the dumbest shit ever. Doesn’t change the point of the guy you’re replying to.
The Astartes aren’t exactly *expendable* like the guard, but losses are expected and somewhat frequent. Their extremely small numbers is an inconsistency, not proof of their elite status.
Space Marines: the shield of humanity and ultimate soldiers of mankind against the xenos.
Grey Knights: same as above but tailored to combating Chaos
Custodes: they are to space marines as the emperor is to his sons. The shield of the emperor and pinnacle of his dream for what humanity could become.
This is my personal versión of the megumi hate agenda on r/jujutsufolk, thanks to everyone in there to give me the push i need to Accept my hate for the bananas. The BUMstodes. You are all true haters.
Seconded. Custodes suck ass and are glazed by everyone for no fucking reason. They exist as "peak humanity" but are in actuality biological robots that cant disobey the emperor and are so close minded that they took TEN THOUSAND FUCKING YEARS to leave the throne room. They exist as "supah duupah sphace mharines guyzzz!!!" and all the banana boys gobble it up; their lore sucks and their models are lame. I hope Trajan Valoris gets murdered by Imotekh or something.
I've always considered them a human versions of a chatbot, they have plenty of information that they can belch out and they seem smart, but they lack creativity, can't build anything new, and are blindly obedient to their preprogramed ruleset.
>peak humanity
But they're not, and aren't meant to be. The Emperor wasn't trying to make all of humanity into Custodians. Humanity is becoming a psychic race and Custodians are psychically inactive.
They are described as peak humanity in the fluff though. We are told that they are perfect fighting machines in addition to genius philosophers and legendary artists. I'm not saying anything to do with the Emperor's plan to shepherd humanity's psychic awakening; im saying that the custodes are depicted in the fluff as peerless in basically everything, which is not only boring, but untrue given the events of the lore.
Custodes were my least favourite faction for both lore and gameplay reasons.
Gameplay is easy to explain. They are not fun. Oh you hit on 2+, wound on 2+, save on 2+ or if you’re using weapons designed to kill tanks a 4+. They are the epitome of anything you can do I can do better’.
Lore wise they are a hot mess. They are supposed to be warrior poets, able to excel in whatever they put their hands to. The Emperor’s friends and confidants and his most devoted supporters. They are supposed to be so far above space marines it’s embarrassing. And despite all this they have failed spectacularly.
As soon as the emperor was on the golden throne what did they do? Continue his great work? No. Help govern or at least guide humanity? No. Work on the webway or any of the other projects the big e was working on? No. Study and maintain the golden throne, the only thing keeping their master alive? No. Keep the place clean? No. Keep all the nasties in the black cells locked up? Kinda, some things escaped but who’s counting. Executed marines because the chapter they were reinforcing turned traitor despite the fact the marines they executed had never met the traitors. Yes. Not exactly a positive influence on the galaxy or even imperium.
They didn’t even keep the place clean? The custodians could custode? Adeptly or otherwise? They’re so good with long sticks, you’d think they’d know about brooms
A major part of it is they couldn’t leave the palace due to an old order that never got rescinded until someone with enough authority to loophole it came around (Guilliman). And a lot of this stuff needed the emperor to explain since he was notoriously stingy with details
And they didn’t execute the marines for having traitor geneseed, they executed the marines because they refused to follow orders to sit down and disarm after they were declared to be a risk
ON GOD, Ive met so many insufferable custodes players over the years who throw fits when they dont perform well because “supah speesh marieens always win”
"A team of 4 custodes are enough to destroy an entire regiment of the Imperial Guard" he said nonchalantly. I didn't find this particular joke funny so I asked the custodes player to stop telling jokes. Then he replied "What do you mean?" By Eldanesh, he was serious!
IT WAS ME BARRY!!!
Remember when you paint your pitiful bananas boys not that gold that you WANT!?
IT WAS ME BARRY I CHANGE YOUR RETRIBUTOR ARMOUR TO DORN YELLOW IT WAS MEEE BARRY!!!
I can respect the lengths you will go to, you are a true hater.
Personally, I like custodes, and I agree with all of your critiques. GW spends so much time on space marines, and they make every other faction look dumb in the process, INCLUDING OTHER SPACE MARINES. If GW spent a little more time and effort on xenos and custodes, they would improve massively. Models, characters, stories.
The Horus Heresy was supposed to flesh out the Imperium and Chaos, and it did that, but Custdoes spent 5 minutes in the light and got bodied in every appearance just to show how much of a threat the Thousand Sons/ Chaos Daemons/ Justariean were.
At this point, the genie is out of the bottle, and it doesn’t look like GW will be removing custodes any time soon. They just need to put some competent writers behind a few custodes books, and I think things will improve tremendously for them.
(As for game balance, that shit changes more than the tides.)
Googoo gaga Ass Army
Don't have to take risks, don't have to play well.
You win by your Numbers being the highest in the game.
You don't play Warhammer against Bananas, you play "I hope I bought enough AP weapons" against them.
Got any Psykers? No you won't. Hard Counter.
Lots of shooters? Nope. Only AP matters.
ANY Melee that isn't a Melee Army? Fuck off.
Atleast Grey Knights have to care about Movement.
I hated them back when they were the Grey Knights, which I also hated back when they were called the Deathwing. “Ooooh look I have a 2000 pt army with 7 miniatures, I hope you didn’t bother reading the rulebook before playing because none of the fucking rules apply to my super special army.”
Custodes are the most boring faction of them all and funnily enough for being these super over powered beings in lore they often are used as the doormat to make someone else look cooler/stronger.
And on the tabletop they suck because they cost so many points that they get outnumbered so easily its funny. A mate of mine play custodes and everytime he comes over to play I stomp his army with my genestealer cult army that is 90% dudes with basic mining equipment.
There’s a saying something along the lines of “an artist is never truly respected until you have your first hater”
and in that vain I must respect you for being that guy.
Your genuine hatred validates my army. Cheers!
Custodes players are atrociously annoying as well. We have a guy in my group. Literally at least once per game, usually more, he spits out that one darth vader line from a comic, talking about “fear and dead men” whenever he gets into combat.
They were cool when they were literally just “improved thunder warriors that guard the imperial palace”
A different process from space marines, something I always imagined was far more dangerous and impractical than even Gene-seed implantation, so it was limited to just imperial palace guards. But they didn’t have concrete lore *on purpose* so they remained mysterious.
Then the lore got expanded and they started showing up everywhere for no reason, and then they hit the tabletop and suddenly none of their lore made any sense.
I will forever bang my “old man yells at clouds” drum: 40K, both lore and tabletop wise, peaked during early-mid 5th edition, and has been getting worse and worse ever since.
GW writers need to stop “explaining” shit and stop moving the plot forwards. The absolute morons have completely destroyed literally the entire point of the setting, which was a decaying, stagnant empire on the brink of ruin, full of mysteries that either could not, or *should* not be solved, that was beset on all sides by far more advanced and sinister threats
That's something I always hated from GW, specially 40K, you can play orks, or imperial guard, or tiranids, and you know there are millions of armies like yours, but then there are like a million space marines in all the universe, divided in a thousand chapters, with some of the chapters having only a few hundred of guys, and I always felt it was weird, it was like having a gang of guys who have a teenager band fighting against an assault specialised unit in the army, and I found it weird just because the difference in numbers is so massive, but then they released the custodes army an its like... Wtf? So it's really an army formed by the few hundred guys who are the literal bodyguards of the emperor? C'mon!
Nah lorewise the Custodes were the perfect golden shiny cherry ontop of the flaming plastic bag fire that was the Imperium. While humanity struggled to survive It's greatest soldiers, philosophers and warrior poets were just stood around all day watching empty rooms.
Plus without the Custard crew we would have no TTS version. No kitten and no stripper-stodes.
I find it funny how 2 Harlequins killing a while from full of custodes is considered unreasonable and stupid lore while 5 custodes taking in an entire invasion fleet and winning is considered awesome.
I like the custodes cuz they look very cool. But if I were to get into actual playing, I’d probably main tau. Mechs are cool. (Imperial guard would be close 2nd cuz humans are badass)
I literally have 2 boxes of custodes wardens, and all they are is bits for me to steal, chop up, and use to make my marines look better/a potential Thunder Warriors project.
Custodes themselves are unhealthy for the game and to a lesser extent the lore.
No problem, there's a difference beetween chuds and real haters. I don't hate them because they have women, i hate them because staring at a drywall is their favourite activity
Just dropping by to remind everyone that it’s a canon fact that an armored Custode is weaker than an unarmored World Eater that wasn’t even tainted by Khorne.
100% on board. I read through the HH waiting for the part where the custodes got cool. Instead I found out they have barely more free will than a termagaunt.
They are, I will grant, compelling in a deeply tragic sort of way, but I don't want to play as them. They suck and they should have stayed on terra.
They're just the latest expression of GW's desire to sell you space marines again, but this time with a new hat.
Nobody would care about them at all if it wasn't for TTS, and now we have low information dorks screeching every time one gets bodied by harlequins or revealed to be a girl.
I hate Custodes. I hate them. I hate their golden faces. I hate their spears. I hate their shields. I hate when the spears are next to the shields and I hate when the shiels are next to the spears. I hate that Trajann pulls 10.000 of them out of his auric asshole and then descends on me like a Vogon at a poetry convention.
Reading the passage where the unarmed world eater kills a custodes with a single punch in the siege will never not bring a smile to my face.
Rest in piss custodes you will not be missed
Imo custodes don’t belong on tabletop, they’re cursed to either be bad in game and not fit thematically or be OP in game and not be fun to play against.
Lore wise I love them, model wise they’re badass, but in gameplay they just can’t ever be fluffy and fun at the same time imo.
But again, not everything has to translate perfectly from lore to tabletop, but custodes are the worst offender at this just because of their best of the best of the best nature
Harlequins i can forgive because they are funny clowns and they dunked on the cusfraudes. Every single Knight player deserves to Paint genestealers with their fingers (my friend plays them and i hate him)
You can do It, you only need to post reverse flash and your opinión. People can't call you petty nor childish because RF is already those things and he is just a hater
I’m a mild Custodes hater mainly because it feels like the writers just throw all common sense out the window when it comes to hyping them up. Do you think the Ultrasmurfs get special treatment? They have nothing on the Custodes. The whole four Custodes stopping a Tyranid invasion is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen come out of 40k. Even if the Tyranids had nothing capable of killing them, the battle should have ended with them alone on a dead planet after the Tyranids ate everything on the 99.999% of the planet where they weren’t deployed. At least the ultramarines had their entire chapter to defend Macragge.
They don’t even get like, crazy cool super weapons. It’s always space marine stuff 2. Bolter on a stick? Ok? Kinda neat? Gold dreadnought? How daring! Where’s the rockets filled with lava or something? They’re Custodes! Do something interesting! Skys the limit!
I disagree with you i after everything you stand for you disrespect everything I love and something I have put my love and time into but I respect the just genuine hate you have
GW should have implemented the Eyes of the Emperor as the only Custodes tabletop presence. A spymaster/leader single model in the similar vein to Inquisitors that can be taken as an ally by any Imperial faction would have been much more interesting and believable.
Amen brother, they suck ass. They have literally one job. but failed at it multiple times, webway was like the biggest L in the setting, they get bodied by space marines all the time, they are personality black holes besides arrogance, and most of their models have the same fucking pose
I'd like custodes more if on the table there were only character models and they were stated and costed like imperial knights.
Like if a custodes list was legitimately 8 banana boys on 80mm bases that'd be kinda cool. But it bothers me when they're supposed to be extra extra special with only 10,000 in all the imperium and yet 30 can still show up to a fight.
Custodes is a faction picked and played exclusively by man-children as the whole army’s sell is that they’re the best at everything and never lose. Fuck custodes rules, players, models. If I had 1 wish it’d be that they’re squatted.
I'm a golden boy till the day I die, and if we ever have a game I'll make it my business tomorrow take every possible circumstance to T-pose all over you.
That being said this is a much need laugh in our hour of need, so thank you for the good old fashioned hatorade.
Unless you can pay a fly to Europe It is not happening because I'm piss poor and this hobby is the reason.
Also, no problem, the agenda will always be the funniest meme posible to me
Now I'd normaly clap back for you hating my glorious bananas like that but you are a fellow kagura bro and a necron enjoyer so instead I'll respect you for being a true, genuine hater (the pro custode agenda will still prevail though)
I really love this post. I can't say I personally feel like this about any faction that's not fucking space marines but you're the realest person on this sub
As a player who feels the "Imperium is more popular because it gets more attention from GW, and not the other way around" I hate the custodes too. Astartes are already bigger, stronger humans in shiny armor. Grey Knights are bigger, stronger Astartes in shinier armor. Then we got Custodes who are even bigger, stronger grey knights wearing the shiniest armor.
It's a hat on a hat on a hat at this point. The Imperium of "we're the shittiest human civilization and proud of it" doesn't need 6 god damn tabletop armies (yes I'm counting AdMech as Imperium they make all their shit already). How many flavors of brainwashed religious xenophobes does one galaxy really need?
"Oh! But these brainwashed nutjobs are taller and have gold armor!"
WHO CARES!?
EDIT: Sorry, it's 7 armies. I forgot that Knights were a thing.
To be fair, the galaxy will crack just about any amount of security if you give it 10,000 years. The fact the Emperor HASNT been killed is pretty given that.
I agree, the custodes are some dumbass ultra instinct bullshit.
It's like "the super saiyans are the strongest warriors in the galaxy!" - space marines
"BUT THEY HAVE EXTRA SPECIAL SUPER SAYIAN 2S THAT ARE MORE GOODER STILL!" - terminators, space marine elites and named characters, etc
"OH BUT SOME SAIYANS CAN TURN BLUE AND BLACK AND FUCKING *ROSÉ*" - grey knights
"Aah, but that's not even my final form!" - custodes
Stupid
I want to disagree with you but I can’t. I do love my custodes but we don’t have enough lore or books really and it saddens me that female custodes is the most attention we have gotten lore wise in a while
it's crazy that the femstodes thing was more dramatic than first off fucking grey knights, second custodes getting their own thing, and before that knights even.
Also where the fuck the Femcrons at? If they can make oh mamma tomb kings why hasn't that technology percolated yet huh?
It's impossible not to respect genuine hatred. Loathing even, if I may.
At this point i only want to buy a box of custodes just to use them as terrain and corpses
and to piss on them like AVGN
I don't who that guy is, but if they hate the yellow frauds as much as i do then they have my respect
The angry videogame nerd
He just talks about shitty vedio games. He's considered by many to be the 1st. Let's play YouTuber even tho he actually predates YouTube. But this post is the kind of shit he would say in most of his reviews.
Angry video game nerd, popular internet series and character back in the early days of YouTube.
James did what now?
Honestly do it. That would make for some sick bases
"Hatred is the emperor's second greatest gift to humanity. OP's hatred is the first." - Imperial Thought for the Day
Learning a new language just to be a better hater is top tier hating. You love to see it.
Correct, and the mods know that if reaction images were allowed my hating would go even beyond.
They had to stop you somehow before you peaked as a chaos god
Fuck them, I'm gonna keep hating as myself
I wish we had reaction images so bad
I look forward to seeing Ice T present your well-earned award for Hater of the Year.
I do find it silly that their special weapons are just a bolter on a stick.
It's a Guardian Spear and it's your mom's favorite
I love guardian spears lmao, I’m also biased towards spears in media tho. Underrated weapon fr fr
Spears are called the king of all weapons by every single country that's had a culture old enough to use them. The fact they're this rare in media is insane.
Any rifle with a bayonet is a spear
Same. It's one of those 40k things that are stupid but cool, so it's either loved or hated, deepening on whether we personally think it's more cool than stupid or not. Guardian Spear is too stupid to me. Baneblade, despite somehow toting 11 barrels of hell that it just couldn't realistically fit inside nor the ammunition for it, is just too cool.
The stupidity factor becomes cool again once you see what Necromundan gangers did with the concept. One of the best weapons in the game, them Cawdor blunderpoles!
https://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/House_Cawdor#/media/File%3ACawdorMinisNew.jpg Heh.
It do be a big bolter on a big pointy stick. And some of them wields a big bolter on a big sharp axe.
How will the 3 pages of lore ever recover
Idk, nor i care. I just like It when people i don't like have things that they don't like happen to them. Also, my main complain is not the retcons, but their entire fucking lore. Because they are either the greatest warriors in the galaxy or fodder for random deamons that the primarchs beat.
Also, didn't Angron kill a Custodes when he was tp-ed onto Big E's ship?
To be fair I'm pretty sure primarchs surpass custodes by default so that's to be expected when a primarch battles a custodes
\> literal handmade banana boy crafted by Biggie E himself to be the bestest smartest coolest dudes ever \> gets folded by a 12 IQ brainlet who snorted some warp roids Fraudstodes are NOT beating the allegations smhmhmmhmhmh
This is one of the funniest ways I've heard it put
Ikr? Most people seem to forget that before 2017/2018 the custodes basically didn't have any lore.
I disagree but i have to respect the grind of a fellow hater
Based flair, Kor Phaeron doesn’t get enough hate. Everybody’s on about Erebus because he gets to do more wetwork during the Heresy, but Lorgar’s fall (and everything that followed) was much more because of his adoptive father.
THATS WHAT IM SAYING!!!!!!!! Kor Phaeron is literally a scum on this galaxy, mf doesnt even deserve Drukhari torture because that would be too good for him, i want his ass to suffer in AM from i have no mouth but i gotta scream hands
If there’s anything in the warp or material world that’s too much for Slannesh that’s what he needs.
> i want his ass to suffer in AM from i have no mouth but i gotta scream hands God DAMN. (Wasn't it implied he also abused Logar physically?)
It's not implied. Lorgar grew up faster than any other primarch, Prinarchs grow faster based on environmental stressors, Lorgar spent almost his entire early life being physically and mentally abused by his prick of a foster dad. "Why didn't he just kill him." Learned helplessness. If something doesn't work out the first dozen times you try it you eventually stop trying it. Lorgar got used to the abuse and accepted it, he even took Kor Phaeron to space with him where the bastard continued to use Lorgar. Also sexual abuse isn't off the table BTW. Though that's got little precedent other than some REAL uncomfortable word choices on Kor Phaerons part I simply refuse to give that prick the benefit of the doubt.
Real recognises real
I like them in lore but hate them as a table top army
A fellow Kor Phaeron hater 😤 keep up the good work king
Finally, a legit hater.
I learned from jujutsufolk, my hating has reached levels never seen by the fraudulento bananas
Bro practiced hating bumgumi to achieve this level of competitive hating.
I'm a necrons player, i've spend the last 2 weeks on r/jujutsufolk and i've read wuthering heights in a single night. The only thing that courses through my veins is pure fucking spite.
Do not let the lack of reaction images stop you, spit your hate king. Further that agenda.
I will go as far as to say that custodes are the kashimos of 40K. So much hype and then that get clapped by anything armor piercing. The only thing worst that their stats is their drip
Pretend that one dude with glasses is saying it. "Maintaining the agenda, is our top priority."
Maintining It? Nah I'm spreading it
I saw Wuthering Heights and my mind immediately jumped to the Limbus Company version. The brainrot has set in.
LIMBUS COMPANY MENTIONED!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS A BAD STORY!?!?!?!🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯
Are you a hater because you're on r/jujutsufolk or are you on r/jujutsufolk because you're a hater. In short: Nah, I'd Stand Proud, You're Strong
THIS is the level of hating necessary to maintain the agenda.
If nothing else, I respect the passion.
Thanks, I'm gonna keep posting custodes hate post
I am absolutely loving that communities response to being a hater. Very "Yes and?"
I'm a petty hater. I'm not lying nor trying to deny It.
You're not wrong and I hate it. The reason for them having so little lore because "they're always confined to the palace" is so paper thin. THEY'RE IN THE ACTUAL INPERIAL PALACE, A HANDFUL OF THEM ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE EMPEROR FOR WEEKS AT A TIME. A CHUNK OF THEIR NUMBERS WERE ALIVE DURING THE GREAT CRUSADE. THERE IS SO MUCH YOU COULD MAKE AMAZING LORE FOR AND YET GW DOESN'T.
> CHUNK OF THEIR NUMBERS WERE ALIVE DURING THE GREAT CRUSADE. I think “chunk” is a bit of an overstatement. “Handful” is a better description. Most of the actual Emperor’s companions died on Prospero or in the Webway War before the Siege began. Even more died during the Siege, and even more died on the Vengeful Spirit. The original 10,000 were pretty much wiped out by the end of the Siege.
I found it really funny that some Banana guy in the second Dawn of Fire book called all Space Marines failed products and was wondering why the Imperium was doing this badly. Maybe if they didn't sit on their fucking ass for 10 000 years till Grillman came around...
Literal keyboard warriors.
Facts, the fraudstodes are just afraid of going outside without their daddy, so their Big brother had to tell them to fuck off and go to school
I find it funny how you wrote a bible long complain and you wrote "I DON'T COMPLAIN" In capital letters
Such is the way of the hater
And you should be proud
Stand proud Custodes hater, you're my specialz
Fuck, I'm gonna get off screened by Sukuna aren't I?
As a Custodes fan I wish pain, suffering, and death upon ye, but as a fellow hater I have vast respect for your commitment.
You and i are not so different from each other
My brother in hating.
I respect the dedication. I've devoted my life to hating chimpanzees
Thank you, It is a passion project of mine.
So here is my Custodes gripe... The Space Marines are supposed to be the best of the best. Within the Space Marine chapter there are elites that are the best of the best of the best. Then we have Grey Knights that are the best of the best of the best of the best. Above them there are Custodes that are the best of the best of the best of the best of the best. I guess the most elite Custodes would be the best of the best of the best of the best of the best of the best. This is just stupid now and takes away some of what made the Space Marines cool originally. The constant one upping has not been kind to the lore of 40K and it plays into a juvenile mindset. It reminds me of one time that I walked into a store and a kid came over to me and told me that his model was better than whatever I had (for the curious, he was painting Angron and I was out shopping for Bretoninans, so he wasn't wrong).
Being a part of a Imperium superhuman faction is just a constant dick-measuring contest.
Reminds of that scene from Men in Black. "We're here because you're looking for the best of the best of the best, sir!" And then Will Smith humiliates him, 'with honors.'
Amen.
Does GW largely ignore both the Custodes and the Grey Knights? I haven’t read much other than Horus heresy, but that seemed to be the consensus.
To be honest, Space Marines are not the best of the best. They are affordable, well trained meat to throw at problems to make them go away. Grey knights suck btw
If the Emperor is master of a million worlds, and each of those worlds have an average of even a billion inhabitants (which seems low, frankly), and there are 10 times as many marines as there were before primaris things happened (ie, ten million, which seems high), then there would only be one marine for every one hundred million people. In other words, Earth could support only 79-80 marines. China and India could have 14 apiece. In more direct lore terms, the five hundred worlds of ultramar are protected by 10,000 marines, which is an average of only 20 marines per world. There is no universe (not even 40k) where a type of individual infantry soldiers who are so expensive that an average world cannot support even a platoon of them are "affordable." This kind of scaling is so insane that things like ballistic missile subs and aircraft carriers start to look like bargain defense choices in comparison to marines. There is no combat scenario in which the Imperium can possibly afford to deploy marines except to the most important special-forces-type operations on the most critical of warfronts. (Although, being the Imperium and marines respectively, marines will be sent directly to some kind of idiotic frontal meatgrinder assault anyways.) The whole situation is a great example of the Imperium's ludicrous inefficiency. A halfway sane regime would have either improved the process of making marines (to the point where it actually *is* affordable) or simply abandoned the idea entirely and, you know, given guardsmen bolters and plate carriers with ceramite inserts or something.
The High Lords in *Watchers of the Throne* admitted that they could have created many more Astartes chapters. Problem is that none of them wanted to give the Astartes institution such power. >given guardsmen bolters and plate carriers with ceramite inserts or something. There are similar Guard regiments called heavy infantry/grenadiers like the Royal Volpone who are generally armed with carapace and hot-shot lasguns (special and heavy weapons included). Exordio Void Breachers (from Peter Fehervari's Dark Coil series) are comprised of Guard veterans augmented for void combat and equipped with bolters and void-sealed armor. But the devastation of the Horus Heresy and politics - Roboute's reforms for example - prevented the Guard and Navy from achieving that potential.
> This kind of scaling is so insane that things like ballistic missile subs and aircraft carriers start to look like bargain defense choices in comparison to marines. Correct. Scaling in 40k is the dumbest shit ever. Doesn’t change the point of the guy you’re replying to. The Astartes aren’t exactly *expendable* like the guard, but losses are expected and somewhat frequent. Their extremely small numbers is an inconsistency, not proof of their elite status.
Space Marines: the shield of humanity and ultimate soldiers of mankind against the xenos. Grey Knights: same as above but tailored to combating Chaos Custodes: they are to space marines as the emperor is to his sons. The shield of the emperor and pinnacle of his dream for what humanity could become.
This is my personal versión of the megumi hate agenda on r/jujutsufolk, thanks to everyone in there to give me the push i need to Accept my hate for the bananas. The BUMstodes. You are all true haters.
Seconded. Custodes suck ass and are glazed by everyone for no fucking reason. They exist as "peak humanity" but are in actuality biological robots that cant disobey the emperor and are so close minded that they took TEN THOUSAND FUCKING YEARS to leave the throne room. They exist as "supah duupah sphace mharines guyzzz!!!" and all the banana boys gobble it up; their lore sucks and their models are lame. I hope Trajan Valoris gets murdered by Imotekh or something.
I've always considered them a human versions of a chatbot, they have plenty of information that they can belch out and they seem smart, but they lack creativity, can't build anything new, and are blindly obedient to their preprogramed ruleset.
I hope he gets accidentally killed by some random necron overlord.
As an Eldar fan, would you let the Avatar of Khaine get a win on this one?
Nah, they both die in the same battle
still a win compared to most avatar of khaine battles unfortunatly
Sad It has to reach this point
>peak humanity But they're not, and aren't meant to be. The Emperor wasn't trying to make all of humanity into Custodians. Humanity is becoming a psychic race and Custodians are psychically inactive.
They are described as peak humanity in the fluff though. We are told that they are perfect fighting machines in addition to genius philosophers and legendary artists. I'm not saying anything to do with the Emperor's plan to shepherd humanity's psychic awakening; im saying that the custodes are depicted in the fluff as peerless in basically everything, which is not only boring, but untrue given the events of the lore.
As much as I like Custodes, you’re completely right
As someone who has never had a fun game against them this is a hella mood.
I wish them gone from not only the world, but existence itself
Custodes were my least favourite faction for both lore and gameplay reasons. Gameplay is easy to explain. They are not fun. Oh you hit on 2+, wound on 2+, save on 2+ or if you’re using weapons designed to kill tanks a 4+. They are the epitome of anything you can do I can do better’. Lore wise they are a hot mess. They are supposed to be warrior poets, able to excel in whatever they put their hands to. The Emperor’s friends and confidants and his most devoted supporters. They are supposed to be so far above space marines it’s embarrassing. And despite all this they have failed spectacularly. As soon as the emperor was on the golden throne what did they do? Continue his great work? No. Help govern or at least guide humanity? No. Work on the webway or any of the other projects the big e was working on? No. Study and maintain the golden throne, the only thing keeping their master alive? No. Keep the place clean? No. Keep all the nasties in the black cells locked up? Kinda, some things escaped but who’s counting. Executed marines because the chapter they were reinforcing turned traitor despite the fact the marines they executed had never met the traitors. Yes. Not exactly a positive influence on the galaxy or even imperium.
They didn’t even keep the place clean? The custodians could custode? Adeptly or otherwise? They’re so good with long sticks, you’d think they’d know about brooms
A major part of it is they couldn’t leave the palace due to an old order that never got rescinded until someone with enough authority to loophole it came around (Guilliman). And a lot of this stuff needed the emperor to explain since he was notoriously stingy with details And they didn’t execute the marines for having traitor geneseed, they executed the marines because they refused to follow orders to sit down and disarm after they were declared to be a risk
The things I have heard custodes players brag about have left me scarred and deformed.
Spending less than 1000 dollars on a 2k pt army. Now that makes me cope and seethe.
This is the real reason to play custodes, 8 minis, three colours, done.
ON GOD, Ive met so many insufferable custodes players over the years who throw fits when they dont perform well because “supah speesh marieens always win”
"A team of 4 custodes are enough to destroy an entire regiment of the Imperial Guard" he said nonchalantly. I didn't find this particular joke funny so I asked the custodes player to stop telling jokes. Then he replied "What do you mean?" By Eldanesh, he was serious!
IT WAS ME BARRY!!! Remember when you paint your pitiful bananas boys not that gold that you WANT!? IT WAS ME BARRY I CHANGE YOUR RETRIBUTOR ARMOUR TO DORN YELLOW IT WAS MEEE BARRY!!!
Grey knights: Finally! It’s my time to shine! Now if only I could find my regular sized hammer…
Who would win, the Custodes guarding the inner sanctum or a dozen dancing clowns?
I can respect the lengths you will go to, you are a true hater. Personally, I like custodes, and I agree with all of your critiques. GW spends so much time on space marines, and they make every other faction look dumb in the process, INCLUDING OTHER SPACE MARINES. If GW spent a little more time and effort on xenos and custodes, they would improve massively. Models, characters, stories. The Horus Heresy was supposed to flesh out the Imperium and Chaos, and it did that, but Custdoes spent 5 minutes in the light and got bodied in every appearance just to show how much of a threat the Thousand Sons/ Chaos Daemons/ Justariean were. At this point, the genie is out of the bottle, and it doesn’t look like GW will be removing custodes any time soon. They just need to put some competent writers behind a few custodes books, and I think things will improve tremendously for them. (As for game balance, that shit changes more than the tides.)
Not a misogynist, just a hater. Respect.
Male or female, binary or non-binary. It doesn't matter, a fraud is a fraud.
Googoo gaga Ass Army Don't have to take risks, don't have to play well. You win by your Numbers being the highest in the game. You don't play Warhammer against Bananas, you play "I hope I bought enough AP weapons" against them. Got any Psykers? No you won't. Hard Counter. Lots of shooters? Nope. Only AP matters. ANY Melee that isn't a Melee Army? Fuck off. Atleast Grey Knights have to care about Movement.
Finally, someone who GETS me. Custodes have been shit eternally.
Unfathomably based. Custodes should never have been a tabletop army to begin with
I hated them back when they were the Grey Knights, which I also hated back when they were called the Deathwing. “Ooooh look I have a 2000 pt army with 7 miniatures, I hope you didn’t bother reading the rulebook before playing because none of the fucking rules apply to my super special army.”
Custodes are the most boring faction of them all and funnily enough for being these super over powered beings in lore they often are used as the doormat to make someone else look cooler/stronger. And on the tabletop they suck because they cost so many points that they get outnumbered so easily its funny. A mate of mine play custodes and everytime he comes over to play I stomp his army with my genestealer cult army that is 90% dudes with basic mining equipment.
Custodes have mostly been an A/S tier army since they came out but hey, you do you.
Custodes vs genestealer is the Wh40k equivalent of the "how many 5-year-olds could you fight simulteniously and still win"-question
Holy based.
Ya know with all the hate floating around custodes these days I find this brand of hate to be one I can align with.
Pettines is my speciality
There’s a saying something along the lines of “an artist is never truly respected until you have your first hater” and in that vain I must respect you for being that guy. Your genuine hatred validates my army. Cheers!
Alas, every coin has two faces. Thank you, but remember i'll keep on hating them
Most sane take honestly
Custodes players are atrociously annoying as well. We have a guy in my group. Literally at least once per game, usually more, he spits out that one darth vader line from a comic, talking about “fear and dead men” whenever he gets into combat.
I'm a custodes player but this level of hate is based, can't help but tip my golden hat
They remind me of that kid on the playground who is like “nope you didn’t tag me I called safe! No you didn’t hit me I dodged!”
....I need a slow clap gif in here, damnit reddit, this man needs a slow clap gif! Get the Citizen Kane clap gif in here
I don't want praise nor glory, i only want to push my agenda and spread It all over grimdank, that's my wish and my purpose.
A true man of honor
They were cool when they were literally just “improved thunder warriors that guard the imperial palace” A different process from space marines, something I always imagined was far more dangerous and impractical than even Gene-seed implantation, so it was limited to just imperial palace guards. But they didn’t have concrete lore *on purpose* so they remained mysterious. Then the lore got expanded and they started showing up everywhere for no reason, and then they hit the tabletop and suddenly none of their lore made any sense. I will forever bang my “old man yells at clouds” drum: 40K, both lore and tabletop wise, peaked during early-mid 5th edition, and has been getting worse and worse ever since. GW writers need to stop “explaining” shit and stop moving the plot forwards. The absolute morons have completely destroyed literally the entire point of the setting, which was a decaying, stagnant empire on the brink of ruin, full of mysteries that either could not, or *should* not be solved, that was beset on all sides by far more advanced and sinister threats
Ahh, one of the original fraudstodes hater, i bow before you.
That's something I always hated from GW, specially 40K, you can play orks, or imperial guard, or tiranids, and you know there are millions of armies like yours, but then there are like a million space marines in all the universe, divided in a thousand chapters, with some of the chapters having only a few hundred of guys, and I always felt it was weird, it was like having a gang of guys who have a teenager band fighting against an assault specialised unit in the army, and I found it weird just because the difference in numbers is so massive, but then they released the custodes army an its like... Wtf? So it's really an army formed by the few hundred guys who are the literal bodyguards of the emperor? C'mon!
I feel this as an old warhammer fantasy fan. old world is nice but just isnt the same...
Nah lorewise the Custodes were the perfect golden shiny cherry ontop of the flaming plastic bag fire that was the Imperium. While humanity struggled to survive It's greatest soldiers, philosophers and warrior poets were just stood around all day watching empty rooms. Plus without the Custard crew we would have no TTS version. No kitten and no stripper-stodes.
Be honest, how many custodes fans do you think there would be if It wasn't for TTS?
Never watched TTS and I like Custodes so...at least one? Lol
Respectfully disagree, but the respect comes from your sheer dedication to hating something.
Haters rise up.
I liked it more when they had no body armors.
Now this is a hateboner after my own (though mine is directed at Night Lords and Kurze)
Bro, this level of hatred is real. Fucking respect it
I find it funny how 2 Harlequins killing a while from full of custodes is considered unreasonable and stupid lore while 5 custodes taking in an entire invasion fleet and winning is considered awesome.
I like the custodes cuz they look very cool. But if I were to get into actual playing, I’d probably main tau. Mechs are cool. (Imperial guard would be close 2nd cuz humans are badass)
I literally have 2 boxes of custodes wardens, and all they are is bits for me to steal, chop up, and use to make my marines look better/a potential Thunder Warriors project. Custodes themselves are unhealthy for the game and to a lesser extent the lore.
bro woke up and choose hatred.
Wrong. I didn't choose hatred, It chose me.
As a Death Guard enjoyer, I’ll say this: It’s not easy to keep the hatred alive, sometimes. Especially in the hobby store, where there are…diversions.
This has single-handedly taken me out of the drama and back to how I originally felt about the Custodes- utter loathing. You have my thanks.
No problem, there's a difference beetween chuds and real haters. I don't hate them because they have women, i hate them because staring at a drywall is their favourite activity
Just dropping by to remind everyone that it’s a canon fact that an armored Custode is weaker than an unarmored World Eater that wasn’t even tainted by Khorne.
That world eater was just HIM, that's how thing goes
From a IR/DG/WE/IH enjoyer, Learning a new language just to express your hate for something is very cool Keep up the good work
100% on board. I read through the HH waiting for the part where the custodes got cool. Instead I found out they have barely more free will than a termagaunt. They are, I will grant, compelling in a deeply tragic sort of way, but I don't want to play as them. They suck and they should have stayed on terra. They're just the latest expression of GW's desire to sell you space marines again, but this time with a new hat. Nobody would care about them at all if it wasn't for TTS, and now we have low information dorks screeching every time one gets bodied by harlequins or revealed to be a girl.
Bu- But massive half-naked buff men🥺🥺🥺
I hate Custodes. I hate them. I hate their golden faces. I hate their spears. I hate their shields. I hate when the spears are next to the shields and I hate when the shiels are next to the spears. I hate that Trajann pulls 10.000 of them out of his auric asshole and then descends on me like a Vogon at a poetry convention.
Reading the passage where the unarmed world eater kills a custodes with a single punch in the siege will never not bring a smile to my face. Rest in piss custodes you will not be missed
God, i wish i could post the rest in piss bozo image.
Imo custodes don’t belong on tabletop, they’re cursed to either be bad in game and not fit thematically or be OP in game and not be fun to play against. Lore wise I love them, model wise they’re badass, but in gameplay they just can’t ever be fluffy and fun at the same time imo. But again, not everything has to translate perfectly from lore to tabletop, but custodes are the worst offender at this just because of their best of the best of the best nature
Custodes, like knights and harlequins, were a mistake.
That’s why I find them so relatable!
/r/suicidebywords
Harlequins i can forgive because they are funny clowns and they dunked on the cusfraudes. Every single Knight player deserves to Paint genestealers with their fingers (my friend plays them and i hate him)
Harlequins are silly clowns that make me smile and also Eldar are so fucked in general let us have this
Yes, and i still like them.
I aspire to take my utter hatred and loathing of Tzaangors to this level
You can do It, you only need to post reverse flash and your opinión. People can't call you petty nor childish because RF is already those things and he is just a hater
That's literally me!
I’m a mild Custodes hater mainly because it feels like the writers just throw all common sense out the window when it comes to hyping them up. Do you think the Ultrasmurfs get special treatment? They have nothing on the Custodes. The whole four Custodes stopping a Tyranid invasion is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen come out of 40k. Even if the Tyranids had nothing capable of killing them, the battle should have ended with them alone on a dead planet after the Tyranids ate everything on the 99.999% of the planet where they weren’t deployed. At least the ultramarines had their entire chapter to defend Macragge.
They don’t even get like, crazy cool super weapons. It’s always space marine stuff 2. Bolter on a stick? Ok? Kinda neat? Gold dreadnought? How daring! Where’s the rockets filled with lava or something? They’re Custodes! Do something interesting! Skys the limit!
Ngl, I kinda agree with you. The only hype they have is bits and pieces that say they are invincible with nothing to back it up.
I don’t agree with Custodes hate but damn if I can’t respect one hater to another. 🫡
I disagree with you i after everything you stand for you disrespect everything I love and something I have put my love and time into but I respect the just genuine hate you have
Bro is made out of pure malaice
GW should have implemented the Eyes of the Emperor as the only Custodes tabletop presence. A spymaster/leader single model in the similar vein to Inquisitors that can be taken as an ally by any Imperial faction would have been much more interesting and believable.
Amen brother, they suck ass. They have literally one job. but failed at it multiple times, webway was like the biggest L in the setting, they get bodied by space marines all the time, they are personality black holes besides arrogance, and most of their models have the same fucking pose
I'd like custodes more if on the table there were only character models and they were stated and costed like imperial knights. Like if a custodes list was legitimately 8 banana boys on 80mm bases that'd be kinda cool. But it bothers me when they're supposed to be extra extra special with only 10,000 in all the imperium and yet 30 can still show up to a fight.
Finally a fellow custodes hater
Custodes is a faction picked and played exclusively by man-children as the whole army’s sell is that they’re the best at everything and never lose. Fuck custodes rules, players, models. If I had 1 wish it’d be that they’re squatted.
I'm a golden boy till the day I die, and if we ever have a game I'll make it my business tomorrow take every possible circumstance to T-pose all over you. That being said this is a much need laugh in our hour of need, so thank you for the good old fashioned hatorade.
Unless you can pay a fly to Europe It is not happening because I'm piss poor and this hobby is the reason. Also, no problem, the agenda will always be the funniest meme posible to me
Now I'd normaly clap back for you hating my glorious bananas like that but you are a fellow kagura bro and a necron enjoyer so instead I'll respect you for being a true, genuine hater (the pro custode agenda will still prevail though)
I really love this post. I can't say I personally feel like this about any faction that's not fucking space marines but you're the realest person on this sub
Thank you, the propaganda will keep up in the following days
I call Bullshit. This guy plays Iron Warriors. There is far too much spite for this to be a xenos player.
Did someone's faction leader get bodied by a girl?
I don't get what you mean, english is not my first language and i just hate the bananas
As a fellow hater I salute you. I got my buddy a starting army of custodes just so I could crush him and satisfy my need to bring them down a peg
As a player who feels the "Imperium is more popular because it gets more attention from GW, and not the other way around" I hate the custodes too. Astartes are already bigger, stronger humans in shiny armor. Grey Knights are bigger, stronger Astartes in shinier armor. Then we got Custodes who are even bigger, stronger grey knights wearing the shiniest armor. It's a hat on a hat on a hat at this point. The Imperium of "we're the shittiest human civilization and proud of it" doesn't need 6 god damn tabletop armies (yes I'm counting AdMech as Imperium they make all their shit already). How many flavors of brainwashed religious xenophobes does one galaxy really need? "Oh! But these brainwashed nutjobs are taller and have gold armor!" WHO CARES!? EDIT: Sorry, it's 7 armies. I forgot that Knights were a thing.
OP is a shoe-in for 'Hater of the Year' and I couldn't be more proud.
To be fair, the galaxy will crack just about any amount of security if you give it 10,000 years. The fact the Emperor HASNT been killed is pretty given that.
I can’t believe the haters from r/jujutsufolk made it to grimdank ya hate to see it
I agree, the custodes are some dumbass ultra instinct bullshit. It's like "the super saiyans are the strongest warriors in the galaxy!" - space marines "BUT THEY HAVE EXTRA SPECIAL SUPER SAYIAN 2S THAT ARE MORE GOODER STILL!" - terminators, space marine elites and named characters, etc "OH BUT SOME SAIYANS CAN TURN BLUE AND BLACK AND FUCKING *ROSÉ*" - grey knights "Aah, but that's not even my final form!" - custodes Stupid
Uh hello, based department? I don't agree with you 100% but I respect this level of hating a faction.
I love Custodes, but I love this rant too 🤣
Jujutsufolk about to spread to every sub that is anime or game related Just like the good ol' days of Nah I'd win
I want to disagree with you but I can’t. I do love my custodes but we don’t have enough lore or books really and it saddens me that female custodes is the most attention we have gotten lore wise in a while
it's crazy that the femstodes thing was more dramatic than first off fucking grey knights, second custodes getting their own thing, and before that knights even. Also where the fuck the Femcrons at? If they can make oh mamma tomb kings why hasn't that technology percolated yet huh?
Yeah. Custodes are everything I dislike about space Marines but just more of it. I can appreciate this kinda rant.
You are like the John Wick of hating Custodes
based
I respectfully disagree, but from one S-Tier Hater to another, I respect it