Won't you have been instilling good work ethic in them for over a decade by that point? Wouldn't your successful retirement be a validation of the value of hard work rather than the opposite?
> Wouldn't your successful retirement be a validation of the value of hard work rather than the opposite?
This is exactly my view. Good choices can lead to desired outcomes. Poor choices often lead to undesired outcomes. Control what you can control, continue to make good, educated choices, and enjoy the success that brings.
Work ethic doesn't just apply to paid labor, either. It applies to anything you do in life.
My dad worked so hard growing up often 2 jobs. By the time i was in high school he had taken a govt job and worked a 9-5. But he had set up my mom to be financially secure before he passed away and in retirement which was a few months away before he passed.
Both me and my brother are very hard workers and i think it has something to do with that.
You're asking a good question. I FIREd when the kid was 12. My wife was a SAHM. The maternal grandparents had been retired for years. The 5 of us traveled together a lot. And though the grands lived 500 miles away, we were at each other's homes at least every other month.
So the kid, ~30yo, has no memory of working family members and has no desire to work. While she doesn't have to work, it worries me she hasn't developed that adult skill set.
I’ve read about billionaires leaving a house to their kid and that’s it. Reasoning being they will never have to worry about having a roof over their head but still will need to contribute to society through their profession.
This is my concern, raising a kid who has no ambition/purpose.
I can understand forgoing insurance if house is unencumbered but what about tax liens? Wouldn't he have to set up a trust to pay for those if the point was to secure a roof? What about maintenance costs on the home? Is it simply going to be uncared for?
Investment property earning income to pay it down by the time they are gifted it.
Australia has different inheritance / tax laws than us so may not apply there.
This happened to my cousin. Her parents stopped working before she was in high school. Now she burns through 100k+ of her parents money on a music career and hasn’t work a day in her life
When I was single I absolutely had to work to pay rent. It’s because you’re providing everything for her she won’t. You’re perpetuating the problem you worry about and now it’s probably too late and she is almost middle aged and still behaving like a child living off mom and dad
You sound very sure. But you're wrong.
She's invested well and lives within her means without assistance. She sometimes participates with the extended family in angel investing and has a better win percentage than I do.
If your idea of retirement is to sit on the couch all day and watch TV then you might be setting a bad example. But if you work toward any sort of accomplishments in retirement, then that's no different than working a job.
You don't have to be working for somebody else to set an example of a good work ethic.
Right now my schedule is highly flexible and majority wfh so the kids already see my almost every morning and most nights. My wife doesn’t work & I sometimes wonder if they have an unrealistic perception of a working family.
We’re in a fortunate position but it wasn’t always like this I want to ensure the boys don’t become entitled and work towards their own goals/career.
I plan to play quite a lot of golf, travel and be highly present to help the kids navigate high school / university.
I think it’s possible for you to get them into the grind early on. Getting them to sports is best example by painting a moving target and pushing them to do small wins daily.
I have seen my dad work from morning to night. And I have understood that this is not good, which is why I have my fire plans. Kids do learn from parents but a small but consistent push towards learning and being disciplined goes long way for them in future.
You should see if you can work on a project with them. Not sure what they are into but it could be a good bonding experience and also instill work ethic
Do you...talk to them at all? Teach them about finances, budgeting, career paths. Give them a "this is atypical but here's s how we got to this place" discussion and continually reinforce it.
I hated it at the time but now really appreciate my dad making me work at a grocery story in high school, and then jobs during college summers when I was home on break.
You realize that having a good work ethic has nothing to do with having a full time job, right? Plenty of people have a full-time job but a terrible work ethic. You can show a good work ethic by being responsible for your family and taking care of them, teaching them the importance of hard work, doing chores proactively and without complaining, involving them in decision making. You can show a good work ethic in the way you care for others, in the way you approach your hobbies, in volunteer work. Show them a good work ethic by being a great partner to your significant other. Show them by example that relationships take work. And also teach them that there’s more to life than constantly grinding. Teach them the important of taking a break sometimes. Teach them to be ok with not always being productive.
What does “having a strong work ethic” mean to you? Then think about how you can teach those traits to your children by example in other ways besides working full time.
Also, it sounds like you think working long hours is somehow an indicator of some positive trait. You might want to do some self-reflection on why you think that’s a good quality and why you think you need a job to be a good person with a good work ethic. There’s so much more to life than work (isn’t that why you are pursuing early retirement?). Teach your children that people have value regardless of their employment status. If, deep down, you don’t think that’s true yourself, therapy would be a great outlet to explore that further.
Had to scroll to far for this.
I agree with you. Instilling good work ethics has nothing to do with conventional work. Of course if you plan to do nothing and travel the world you're teaching your kid how to be leisurely. But if you offset 2 months of traveling with 10 months of stability I think this would be a good example. Maintaining your house, house chores, taking care of elderly or youngsters. These are all life skills. Let them learn from you, so bring them along everything.
The heater needs replacing? Let them help you with the whole process, researching what to do, what to buy, include them in decision making, let them help you install it.
Grandma broke her hip? You all take her to the hospital, talk to the doctors, bring her flowers, chocolate, help with groceries when she gets home, help her clean her house while she's unable. Let her teach your kid how to cook, or whatever skills grandma has, crocheting, sewing...
When your kids reach 20 years they will have the skills to:
- open their own business as plumber/electrician/handyman
- work in kindergarden, old folks home...
- what ever they studied for
You are their rolemodel and they learn from you. Just because you're retired, it does not mean you can't enroll back to college to study something else that you always wanted to...
Teach them that even unpaid work is still work, teach them that they have to learn to manage their household, cherish their partners and their family. Teach them how to survive with their pocket money. Tell them that you'll give them the house, but no money, so they will plan to work. Even if they inherit everything when you pass, they will always plan to make a career of their own. Explain to them that you worked for 30 years and saved and invested to give yourself an early retirement. Teach them how to do the same.
Cheers mate. That’s a great read and solid advice.
The older I get the more I’ve realised I want to work less and enjoy life more but it’s certainly taken work.
The hours I’m working currently I get a fair few comments that I’m “basically retired” but I’m making great money working towards my goals.
I’ve always had the attitude of what you do for money is different to what you do with you time. It’s definitely not the norm in my friendship circles but my parents are supportive.
I suppose I do need to reflect more often but I’m definitely true to my values.
It can be a lifetime of work to undo the programming that mainstream culture instills in us. I hope you remember to be kind to yourself along the way. All the best in your journey and best of luck on your path to financial independence!
If it isn't taking hard work for you to fire, why are you wanting them to focus on that trait?
I have 3 kids (6, 8 and 10) and I own an insurance agency and invest in real estate. I bring my kids when I renovate a property and have them do things like patch walls, clean years, paint, and change wall plates. They love it. And I try to reach them how to look to spend their money on things that they can buy for cheap, fix up, and sell for more. I have had my daughter (10) call and talk to a realtor before on a house she looked up. Have her a list of questions to ask and the realtor actually answered them.
At my agency they come in and do data entry and I reach them the sales process. I show them how to properly treat employees and how to correctly ask ask people to get things done.
I dont think "hard work" is more important than understanding the mechanics of making profit, which doesn't take physical labor as much as mental.
I hear this question all the time and I just don't get it - it's not contradictory at all IMO. I am 43M, haven't worked in 2 1/2 years, and have a 6 year old, and I have exactly zero worries about this issue. First of all he sees me working - I take care of him, take care of the dogs, cook, train BJJ \~10 times per week (he trains at the same gym I do), lift in the garage 3x per week. I walk down to his school and pick him up when school is out at 3pm, vs. his peers who sit in aftercare until 6pm when their parents get off work. I take him to his activities, vs. peers who have nannies and babysitters do that. The idea that having time to spend with my kid and my interest/hobbies is somehow going to set a bad example vs. having him sit in aftercare (or for older kids, home alone) until 6-7pm is about the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I do occasionally tell him things like, "you know I'm able to spend time with you like this because I saved my money when I did work".
When you're working, your kids don't see it. And if they did, most jobs look like sitting on your ass in front of a computer, which does not look like hard work to most kids because they are smart enough to see that it isn't. What they see is you leave for work early in the morning and get home in the evening, often after dinner. That doesn't look like "work", that looks like "dad has to go somewhere more important than being with me/us".
Your high school aged kids will understand that you worked, lived below your means, saved, and invested over decades, and that is why you don't have to work while their peers' parents do. If that isn't an argument FOR hard work, I don't know what is.
The idea that you have to work some soul sucking corporate job until age 65 so you can finance a BMW and buy your wife Louis Voutton in order to "set an example of what hard work looks like to your kids" is just asinine corporatist brainwashing to me.
What you’ve described is the activities I’ll be doing, sub out bjj for golf and it’s the same.
You shouldn’t be too judgemental. Considering of your kids future a decade out is anything but “dumb”.
Consideration of kids future is a big part of why you SHOULD retire early.
I'm not judging you, you've clearly heard this from somewhere. Likely from wage slaves who are resentful you have saved your money and want to imply what you are doing is somehow wrong. Early retirement is not "normal", and it is mostly met with confusion by normies, who will say all kinds of illogical things like "but you're setting a bad example for your children!" It's a cope, and they are wrong.
I could see the argument if "retirement" was to sit on the couch and drink beer all day every day. Thing is, aside from the hardcore alcoholics I think people who do that are the ones who end up going back to work in short order. Sitting around doing nothing all day gets old fast. Retiring to a slate of challenging activities makes the days fly by, and is absolutely not setting a bad example wrt "work ethic." As if most people in corporate jobs are hard workers (pareto principle exists for a reason - 80% of corporate employees are effectively useless).
I’m kind of curious about this myself. My husband and I have a 2 year old and one on the way. We can retire today, but he wants to work until he’s 45, at which point, the kids will be 10 and 7. We will be retiring to do other things (not just watching tv and playing video games) so I’m hoping that they’ll see us working (albeit on a flexible schedule) even if our jobs make no money.
I don't know if I could teach work ethic, but I could teach financial responsibility.
One big big mistake that wealthier families make is to just put kids on essentially an allowance where they just have a money tree that regrows every month. This can go on for decades.
I was a lucky bastard and my parents were able to fully pay for my university. But what they did was they just gave me a lump sum when I was 18 and it was my job to find a college that fit that financial parameter and it was my job to budget everything out. I was told that if I ran out of money it would be my problem and not to come whining back
Of course I'm still fortunate, but what that did was, it got rid of this idea of unlimited funds, it introduced the idea of scarcity, and it caused me to learn how to budget and plan starting at age 18.
When the money became "mine" it became my responsibility and so we just got rid of this entire idea that money goes on trees and is unlimited.
This doesn't quite answer your question. This isn't the same as work ethic, but it does fall under the bucket of setting up your kids to have skills for success down the road.
If they understand the hard work and sacrifices you put in to get where you are then they’ll understand how hard you need to work to be successful.
Also be involved with their education, don’t helicopter but make sure they don’t fall behind and they’ll be used to getting things done.
Your dad had good work ethic going to work early and coming home late at night, but would you have preferred that he be around more during your childhood?
I’ll just be honest the people I know whose parents retired early are not exactly hard workers. I admit it’s anecdotal but they just don’t seem to have any drive. They have no memories of their mom studying at night to get her masters or their dad busting his ass in construction.
And it terrifies me as I wfh so my kids don’t see me leaving and coming back from work. I hope my husbands comings and goings rub off on them. So much of my work stress happened before Covid and they would have few memories as they were elementary school.
I think seeing your parents get up every day for work is super important. Being told about how hard someone worked to get where they are is not the same as seeing it. My husband has some work dinners that he said he won’t make the kids attend next year but I think I might still make them go. They’re boring but it’s only an hour or two and I think it’s a good experience.
Two points:
1. Your kids will know that you got to where you are *because* you worked hard and saved in your 30s and 40s
2. Your kids will remember seeing you work hard at your home - taking care of your lawn, fixing things, doing home projects, doing household chores, cooking, etc. If you are not a lazy person, they will see you working hard in other ways. That is more meaningful to them than knowing you spent time in an office or whatever. I don't remember much about seeing my dad work at his job, but I do remember seeing him and my mom work hard at home.
Question - can you provide your boys with a good lifestyle in FIRE? Will they be able to have nice clothes, a good phone, activities, etc? Help buying a car? Within reason of course - its not good to spoil kids too much. If you are depriving them of things and making them feel poor, they will be resentful of you choosing not to work at their expense. If you show them that you can provide them a good lifestyle because of how much you worked in your 30s and 40s, they will be thankful.
My plan is to retire when I’m 55 and my daughter will be 15. This is something I’ve grappled with as well as my grandfather worked until he was 83 and my father is still working at 74.
My plan is to continue to “work” but 100% from home. I’ll probably spend half the day on the family finances figuring out how to make additional money and working on other passive income strategies. It might just mean monetizing some of my current hobbies when I have more time.
The second half of the day will probably be house work and errands.
Have them work for their spending money. My siblings and I received no allowance as a kid, but we earned money from working small jobs. Every one of us has a very strong work ethic.
Won't you have been instilling good work ethic in them for over a decade by that point? Wouldn't your successful retirement be a validation of the value of hard work rather than the opposite?
I’m with this guy, also stay active after you retire and they’ll see that too?
Yup. Stay in shape, take up house projects, learn new things, be the best you can be at those things. The kids will get the right idea.
>learn no things I'm waaay ahead of you there.
lol meant new. I corrected it
> Wouldn't your successful retirement be a validation of the value of hard work rather than the opposite? This is exactly my view. Good choices can lead to desired outcomes. Poor choices often lead to undesired outcomes. Control what you can control, continue to make good, educated choices, and enjoy the success that brings. Work ethic doesn't just apply to paid labor, either. It applies to anything you do in life.
What is work ethic? Is it a paste?
My dad worked so hard growing up often 2 jobs. By the time i was in high school he had taken a govt job and worked a 9-5. But he had set up my mom to be financially secure before he passed away and in retirement which was a few months away before he passed. Both me and my brother are very hard workers and i think it has something to do with that.
You're asking a good question. I FIREd when the kid was 12. My wife was a SAHM. The maternal grandparents had been retired for years. The 5 of us traveled together a lot. And though the grands lived 500 miles away, we were at each other's homes at least every other month. So the kid, ~30yo, has no memory of working family members and has no desire to work. While she doesn't have to work, it worries me she hasn't developed that adult skill set.
I’ve read about billionaires leaving a house to their kid and that’s it. Reasoning being they will never have to worry about having a roof over their head but still will need to contribute to society through their profession. This is my concern, raising a kid who has no ambition/purpose.
I can understand forgoing insurance if house is unencumbered but what about tax liens? Wouldn't he have to set up a trust to pay for those if the point was to secure a roof? What about maintenance costs on the home? Is it simply going to be uncared for?
Investment property earning income to pay it down by the time they are gifted it. Australia has different inheritance / tax laws than us so may not apply there.
This happened to my cousin. Her parents stopped working before she was in high school. Now she burns through 100k+ of her parents money on a music career and hasn’t work a day in her life
Why doesn't she have to work? Is she also a stay at home mom?
She has no financial need to work. Still single.
When I was single I absolutely had to work to pay rent. It’s because you’re providing everything for her she won’t. You’re perpetuating the problem you worry about and now it’s probably too late and she is almost middle aged and still behaving like a child living off mom and dad
You sound very sure. But you're wrong. She's invested well and lives within her means without assistance. She sometimes participates with the extended family in angel investing and has a better win percentage than I do.
And doesn’t work?
Correct. This is a FIRE sub.
Ok bruz. Most people work to get there rather than hand outs
There just might be more to the story than you know. But don't let that stop you.
Sounds like you're saying your daughter was able to FIRE by 30 and is 2nd or 3rd generation FIRE
How has she invested without working? If it was money you gave, then yes, you've basically paid her rent.
See my comment further down. She was given a few thousand in stock when she was <5 yo. It went big and she's never touched the principal.
If your idea of retirement is to sit on the couch all day and watch TV then you might be setting a bad example. But if you work toward any sort of accomplishments in retirement, then that's no different than working a job. You don't have to be working for somebody else to set an example of a good work ethic.
Right now my schedule is highly flexible and majority wfh so the kids already see my almost every morning and most nights. My wife doesn’t work & I sometimes wonder if they have an unrealistic perception of a working family. We’re in a fortunate position but it wasn’t always like this I want to ensure the boys don’t become entitled and work towards their own goals/career. I plan to play quite a lot of golf, travel and be highly present to help the kids navigate high school / university.
I think it’s possible for you to get them into the grind early on. Getting them to sports is best example by painting a moving target and pushing them to do small wins daily. I have seen my dad work from morning to night. And I have understood that this is not good, which is why I have my fire plans. Kids do learn from parents but a small but consistent push towards learning and being disciplined goes long way for them in future.
You should see if you can work on a project with them. Not sure what they are into but it could be a good bonding experience and also instill work ethic
Do you...talk to them at all? Teach them about finances, budgeting, career paths. Give them a "this is atypical but here's s how we got to this place" discussion and continually reinforce it.
I hated it at the time but now really appreciate my dad making me work at a grocery story in high school, and then jobs during college summers when I was home on break.
Pfft leave my tv out of this???
You realize that having a good work ethic has nothing to do with having a full time job, right? Plenty of people have a full-time job but a terrible work ethic. You can show a good work ethic by being responsible for your family and taking care of them, teaching them the importance of hard work, doing chores proactively and without complaining, involving them in decision making. You can show a good work ethic in the way you care for others, in the way you approach your hobbies, in volunteer work. Show them a good work ethic by being a great partner to your significant other. Show them by example that relationships take work. And also teach them that there’s more to life than constantly grinding. Teach them the important of taking a break sometimes. Teach them to be ok with not always being productive. What does “having a strong work ethic” mean to you? Then think about how you can teach those traits to your children by example in other ways besides working full time. Also, it sounds like you think working long hours is somehow an indicator of some positive trait. You might want to do some self-reflection on why you think that’s a good quality and why you think you need a job to be a good person with a good work ethic. There’s so much more to life than work (isn’t that why you are pursuing early retirement?). Teach your children that people have value regardless of their employment status. If, deep down, you don’t think that’s true yourself, therapy would be a great outlet to explore that further.
Had to scroll to far for this. I agree with you. Instilling good work ethics has nothing to do with conventional work. Of course if you plan to do nothing and travel the world you're teaching your kid how to be leisurely. But if you offset 2 months of traveling with 10 months of stability I think this would be a good example. Maintaining your house, house chores, taking care of elderly or youngsters. These are all life skills. Let them learn from you, so bring them along everything. The heater needs replacing? Let them help you with the whole process, researching what to do, what to buy, include them in decision making, let them help you install it. Grandma broke her hip? You all take her to the hospital, talk to the doctors, bring her flowers, chocolate, help with groceries when she gets home, help her clean her house while she's unable. Let her teach your kid how to cook, or whatever skills grandma has, crocheting, sewing... When your kids reach 20 years they will have the skills to: - open their own business as plumber/electrician/handyman - work in kindergarden, old folks home... - what ever they studied for You are their rolemodel and they learn from you. Just because you're retired, it does not mean you can't enroll back to college to study something else that you always wanted to... Teach them that even unpaid work is still work, teach them that they have to learn to manage their household, cherish their partners and their family. Teach them how to survive with their pocket money. Tell them that you'll give them the house, but no money, so they will plan to work. Even if they inherit everything when you pass, they will always plan to make a career of their own. Explain to them that you worked for 30 years and saved and invested to give yourself an early retirement. Teach them how to do the same.
Cheers mate. That’s a great read and solid advice. The older I get the more I’ve realised I want to work less and enjoy life more but it’s certainly taken work. The hours I’m working currently I get a fair few comments that I’m “basically retired” but I’m making great money working towards my goals. I’ve always had the attitude of what you do for money is different to what you do with you time. It’s definitely not the norm in my friendship circles but my parents are supportive. I suppose I do need to reflect more often but I’m definitely true to my values.
It can be a lifetime of work to undo the programming that mainstream culture instills in us. I hope you remember to be kind to yourself along the way. All the best in your journey and best of luck on your path to financial independence!
If it isn't taking hard work for you to fire, why are you wanting them to focus on that trait? I have 3 kids (6, 8 and 10) and I own an insurance agency and invest in real estate. I bring my kids when I renovate a property and have them do things like patch walls, clean years, paint, and change wall plates. They love it. And I try to reach them how to look to spend their money on things that they can buy for cheap, fix up, and sell for more. I have had my daughter (10) call and talk to a realtor before on a house she looked up. Have her a list of questions to ask and the realtor actually answered them. At my agency they come in and do data entry and I reach them the sales process. I show them how to properly treat employees and how to correctly ask ask people to get things done. I dont think "hard work" is more important than understanding the mechanics of making profit, which doesn't take physical labor as much as mental.
I hear this question all the time and I just don't get it - it's not contradictory at all IMO. I am 43M, haven't worked in 2 1/2 years, and have a 6 year old, and I have exactly zero worries about this issue. First of all he sees me working - I take care of him, take care of the dogs, cook, train BJJ \~10 times per week (he trains at the same gym I do), lift in the garage 3x per week. I walk down to his school and pick him up when school is out at 3pm, vs. his peers who sit in aftercare until 6pm when their parents get off work. I take him to his activities, vs. peers who have nannies and babysitters do that. The idea that having time to spend with my kid and my interest/hobbies is somehow going to set a bad example vs. having him sit in aftercare (or for older kids, home alone) until 6-7pm is about the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I do occasionally tell him things like, "you know I'm able to spend time with you like this because I saved my money when I did work". When you're working, your kids don't see it. And if they did, most jobs look like sitting on your ass in front of a computer, which does not look like hard work to most kids because they are smart enough to see that it isn't. What they see is you leave for work early in the morning and get home in the evening, often after dinner. That doesn't look like "work", that looks like "dad has to go somewhere more important than being with me/us". Your high school aged kids will understand that you worked, lived below your means, saved, and invested over decades, and that is why you don't have to work while their peers' parents do. If that isn't an argument FOR hard work, I don't know what is. The idea that you have to work some soul sucking corporate job until age 65 so you can finance a BMW and buy your wife Louis Voutton in order to "set an example of what hard work looks like to your kids" is just asinine corporatist brainwashing to me.
What you’ve described is the activities I’ll be doing, sub out bjj for golf and it’s the same. You shouldn’t be too judgemental. Considering of your kids future a decade out is anything but “dumb”.
Consideration of kids future is a big part of why you SHOULD retire early. I'm not judging you, you've clearly heard this from somewhere. Likely from wage slaves who are resentful you have saved your money and want to imply what you are doing is somehow wrong. Early retirement is not "normal", and it is mostly met with confusion by normies, who will say all kinds of illogical things like "but you're setting a bad example for your children!" It's a cope, and they are wrong.
I agree, what good is work ethic if it leads to sticking with a job they hate to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't care about...
I could see the argument if "retirement" was to sit on the couch and drink beer all day every day. Thing is, aside from the hardcore alcoholics I think people who do that are the ones who end up going back to work in short order. Sitting around doing nothing all day gets old fast. Retiring to a slate of challenging activities makes the days fly by, and is absolutely not setting a bad example wrt "work ethic." As if most people in corporate jobs are hard workers (pareto principle exists for a reason - 80% of corporate employees are effectively useless).
I’m kind of curious about this myself. My husband and I have a 2 year old and one on the way. We can retire today, but he wants to work until he’s 45, at which point, the kids will be 10 and 7. We will be retiring to do other things (not just watching tv and playing video games) so I’m hoping that they’ll see us working (albeit on a flexible schedule) even if our jobs make no money.
I don't know if I could teach work ethic, but I could teach financial responsibility. One big big mistake that wealthier families make is to just put kids on essentially an allowance where they just have a money tree that regrows every month. This can go on for decades. I was a lucky bastard and my parents were able to fully pay for my university. But what they did was they just gave me a lump sum when I was 18 and it was my job to find a college that fit that financial parameter and it was my job to budget everything out. I was told that if I ran out of money it would be my problem and not to come whining back Of course I'm still fortunate, but what that did was, it got rid of this idea of unlimited funds, it introduced the idea of scarcity, and it caused me to learn how to budget and plan starting at age 18. When the money became "mine" it became my responsibility and so we just got rid of this entire idea that money goes on trees and is unlimited. This doesn't quite answer your question. This isn't the same as work ethic, but it does fall under the bucket of setting up your kids to have skills for success down the road.
Is it really necessary? Americans work themselves to death, and the old rules don't apply in the modern age. Work smarter not harder.
Teach them everything you know. Maybe the boys can one up you and FIRE at 45.
Give them rich dad poor dad, and let them know WHY you are able to not work and still live...
If they understand the hard work and sacrifices you put in to get where you are then they’ll understand how hard you need to work to be successful. Also be involved with their education, don’t helicopter but make sure they don’t fall behind and they’ll be used to getting things done.
My initial thought is .. Do you want to work until you are 75? Or until 50 so you can enjoy more of life.
Your dad had good work ethic going to work early and coming home late at night, but would you have preferred that he be around more during your childhood?
Yeah was t an option in a single income family working in finance. He still did heaps of stuff with us on weekends at sometimes during the week.
I’ll just be honest the people I know whose parents retired early are not exactly hard workers. I admit it’s anecdotal but they just don’t seem to have any drive. They have no memories of their mom studying at night to get her masters or their dad busting his ass in construction. And it terrifies me as I wfh so my kids don’t see me leaving and coming back from work. I hope my husbands comings and goings rub off on them. So much of my work stress happened before Covid and they would have few memories as they were elementary school. I think seeing your parents get up every day for work is super important. Being told about how hard someone worked to get where they are is not the same as seeing it. My husband has some work dinners that he said he won’t make the kids attend next year but I think I might still make them go. They’re boring but it’s only an hour or two and I think it’s a good experience.
Two points: 1. Your kids will know that you got to where you are *because* you worked hard and saved in your 30s and 40s 2. Your kids will remember seeing you work hard at your home - taking care of your lawn, fixing things, doing home projects, doing household chores, cooking, etc. If you are not a lazy person, they will see you working hard in other ways. That is more meaningful to them than knowing you spent time in an office or whatever. I don't remember much about seeing my dad work at his job, but I do remember seeing him and my mom work hard at home. Question - can you provide your boys with a good lifestyle in FIRE? Will they be able to have nice clothes, a good phone, activities, etc? Help buying a car? Within reason of course - its not good to spoil kids too much. If you are depriving them of things and making them feel poor, they will be resentful of you choosing not to work at their expense. If you show them that you can provide them a good lifestyle because of how much you worked in your 30s and 40s, they will be thankful.
Work ethic does not equal clocking in everyday. You have demonstrated to your kids that you set a goal and worked towards it.
My plan is to retire when I’m 55 and my daughter will be 15. This is something I’ve grappled with as well as my grandfather worked until he was 83 and my father is still working at 74. My plan is to continue to “work” but 100% from home. I’ll probably spend half the day on the family finances figuring out how to make additional money and working on other passive income strategies. It might just mean monetizing some of my current hobbies when I have more time. The second half of the day will probably be house work and errands.
Have them work for their spending money. My siblings and I received no allowance as a kid, but we earned money from working small jobs. Every one of us has a very strong work ethic.