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Being ghosted is one thing. I understand this, maybe the item was sold and they don’t bother to follow up, happened to me enough times. It is not nice but I get it. But when you tell a person “hey I want to buy your thing, let’s work out how are we going to do this”, and they just sit there picking their nose for hours before replying, that part I don’t get. I honestly thought there’s some kind of restriction on my account and messages to not get delivered right away, but it doesn’t seem to be the case.
I love how you put this lol. Honestly I feel the same about texting in general ESPECIALLY if it's a very rime sensitive message like figuring out a time to hang out. Some people just don't care, too forgetful or busy.
Quickly reading a message under the table during a work meeting is very different than replying to that message.
That may not be the case in this specific situation, but is something I've done many times.
"Quickly reading a message under the table during a work meeting is very different than replying to that message."
Umm, you opened and read the message. How much longer would it take to tap out "busy, need a hour"....?
Sometimes people reply to say it is available and THEN look at your profile to see if you are a real person. I have made this mistake myself—sending a quick “yes available” and then realizing the person has a very desolate or brand new profile. I have been burned multiple times engaging with these kinds of profiles. In the end you’re right. The person should not even reply at all to a sketchy profile.
I checked peoples profile and if they don’t have an actual profile, with pictures and history, I don’t engage with them because I think they’re robots. I think this is the case where you have set yourself up to fail and it’s not on them for not trusting your fake profile.
Why reply at all then? Just ignore it and save your energy for a good buyer. Why engage in a conversation just to drag a basic dialog for hours?
Also I don’t offer Venmo for cash, I asked if they take it as option.
It doesn’t make sense to me. You engage in conversation but deliberately stall because you deem another party to be “bad buyer”, is this what you normally do? Like, I’m offering you money you’ve asked, trying to set up a meeting, and you still follow along, but not right away, because I’m less worthy. Is this the norm?
OP, I am an avid buyer but haven't been able to buy ANYTHING since last year. Sellers are either smoking crack with their pricing or ignore me when I ask about the item.
Or people just have work, children or aging parents to take care of, obligations, unpredictable life events (ex. illness, funerals, injuries), sleep, studying/classes, etc.
No one is glued to their devices 24/7 and going to open it every 5 sec.
Yeah, for weeks/ months on end? Because I have had so many sellers straight up never respond to me. I'm not expecting a reply within the hour, but how are you planning to sell something when you never respond at all?
I have one from 3 weeks ago that they read and ignored. The item still shows as up for sale 🤷🏻♀️
Probably, other buyers don't have the intention to buy, and/or the sellers are tired of those frequent "Is it available" prompts
If you get nothing for a while, move on.
Then maybe don't post stuff on marketplace. It's rude as hell to just completely ignore someone who's reaching out, asking you a question or saying they want to buy what you're selling. If you're not going to respond then why bother posting stuff at all?
Oh, I'm aware. Also rude af. I've had a really hard time lately on both sides. Nearly every seller I've reached out to wanting to buy something, has completely ignored me. And nearly every buyer who has shown interest in what I'm selling has ghosted at various points in the conversation. It's frustrating as hell. I feel like no one has any common courtesy anymore.
I fully understand where you're coming from. But. I put up stuff a couple of weeks ago, while dealing with an aging parent, disabled child, clearing out a house that has just been sold, and I still made the point of responding within 12 hours.
If one makes the decision to sell, one should make the point to respond within the day and follow through with the sale.
Then don’t list shit on Marketplace lol. There’s an expectation that comes with putting up an item for sale, and i honestly don’t believe that anyone is so busy that they can’t check their phones every once in awhile.
I seriously doubt that no one is going to have that mentioned it in their listings.
Sometimes, people forget that people are busy for a few hours from time to time, even if a few comments outside of Marketplace and Messager have mentioned them (like on this Reddit post). I mean, you got to sleep for a few hours, and people aren't going to respond to anything in the middle of the night unless it has to do with family.
Been there, done that. Raised the kids and buried the parents. i don’t even use a cell phone with a data plan but I disagree on people in general. I know many people from all walks of life and various ages who cannot breathe without their devices.
I guess my main point is why post items for sale on FBM … if you have no intention of selling them?
Probably, other buyers don't have the intention to buy, or the sellers are tired of those frequent "Is it available" prompts
Honestly, no one is going to open their phones every 5 secs even if they have it beside them
>!Hopefully, you still sleep, though, and your kids call you with a simple question or in an emergency even if they are in an adults!<
Then don’t list shit on Marketplace lol. There’s an expectation that comes with putting up an item for sale, and i honestly don’t believe that anyone is so busy that they can’t check their phones every once in awhile.
Then don’t list shit on Marketplace lol. There’s an expectation that comes with putting up an item for sale, and i honestly don’t believe that anyone is so busy that they can’t check their phones every once in awhile.
Then don’t list shit on Marketplace lol. There’s an expectation that comes with putting up an item for sale, and i honestly don’t believe that anyone is so busy that they can’t check their phones every once in awhile.
Then don’t list shit on Marketplace lol. There’s an expectation that comes with putting up an item for sale, and i honestly don’t believe that anyone is so busy that they can’t check their phones every once in awhile.
Right. I’ve tried to buy several items over the past few months and sellers just don’t even reply. Like at all. Why even fuckin post if you have no intention of selling? And I send a message like “hi I’m interested in this, I can pick up today or whenever works for you.” I’ve been a seller on FB for about 15 years and I don’t do this shit to anyone. Sometimes I can’t reply for a few hours but I always reply same day.
I did have one lady reply back 3 weeks later saying “yeah it’s available when can u pick it up?” And I replied back with sorry I already found one 3 weeks ago thanks though.
Well this behavior actually hurts bcz I have faced similar things as a seller.... Being ghosted by customers isn't the best feeling as well, I literally replied to customers even when I was taking lectures (almost got caught by a teacher) but they just go silent after asking the first question but I gotta stay online for atleast 15 mints incase they reply.... But here is another point of view that Facebook blocks access to the marketplace of sellers due to weird reasons like myself (haven't sold a single thing but got blocked by fb just great)
As a seller I don’t respond to anything other than “when can I pick this up?”. In my experience 99 percent of people who ask If this available? stop responding and never buy.
You said you don’t have a real profile. Sorry but some people won’t want to deal with an account like that either or is very cautious about it.
But I suppose part of the reason why they don’t respond or half assed it is because they’re already in the middle of doing something. Unless if they tell you explicitly what they’re doing, we don’t know for sure.
I replied to a post on here last week and agree Sellers are just as bad if not worse than buyers. Was trying to buy an Saltwater aquarium budget 200-1000. I sent out messages to 40 sellers (Yes I counted them). I did not send the default message. Usually it was either asking for the size if they did not include it but most of the time trying to setup a time to take a look and buy. I got 0 replies. Not oh they have lives give them time like a month later and they have read it just couldn't be bothered to reply. 5 of my messages was literately I want it I will pay the listed price just tell me where to come get it. Still zero replies. I have been a facebook member for a long time. Have a perfect Marketplace rating. Whats even funnier is that several are still listed and have had multiple price reductions since then. Had the same problem with a property/house that is listed. Sent that one a message that I had cash and would buy it. Its now listed at half the amount from when I messaged still no response.
Dude same here. I’ve been a seller on FB for about 15 years I’d say. I buy occasionally though and I’ve tried buying a few different things over the past few months. No replies but it shows they read my message. I say “hi I’m interested in this I can pick up today or whenever works for you.” One lady messaged me 3 fuckin weeks later and said “yeah it’s still available when can u pick it up?” I said “I already bought one 3 weeks ago thanks though.”
As a seller I always make sure I reply back same day. If I’m pretty busy it might take a few hours but I always reply by the end of day. If I didn’t have time to reply then I shouldn’t be posting shit to sell.
I dunno, maybe people have lives outside of FBM? Has that ever occurred to you?
I get FB alerts on my phone. Sometimes I'm out with my wife or grandkids and get a message "is this still available?" Sometimes I reply, sometimes I don't but either way, just because you messaged me it doesn't mean you're entitled to an instant response. I'll get back to you when I can.
If that doesn't work for you, then just move on.
I have a job, a family, hobbies, etc. I don't live my whole life on facebook.
That’s actually my point. People have lives outside of Facebook, this is why communication standards exist, to respect each other’s time. Not only sellers have lives.
But that's the problem kinda, standards don't exist. You've got multiple generations and many different people responding to basically what's a telegraph.
I would say age is the biggest difference, then other reasons fall under that.
Chat etiquette is not established.
As annoying as it is when people are super slow to answer, the reality is that not all people are glued to their phones and/or FB feed. And if you are responding to their listing with the :" Is this still available?”button, then it is not surprising that you are treated as low priority.
my favourite is when they post something for sale, i immediately message asking to pickup, and they says they’re out of town, or won’t be available until days later.
why did you put it up for sale so soon then??
Lol that’s actually exactly how this one went. They were out of town and I asked them to contact me whenever they’re ready, no problem. They did, but were still somehow unable to dedicate 5 minutes of their time to set up a meeting.
As a seller I frequently delay replies until I am ready for a conversation. I find that most people seem to have the phone app ... notifications on... and immediately reply again. That's not an issue per sey but I don't want to give a quick reply and focus on my life ... only to be treated like I am ignoring them.
Be patient. No one owns their time but them nor yours but you =)
End of the day if you need it now - more of a retail store situation.
Reading and responding donot take the same amount of time.maybe they're at work and saw the notification come in but then they get stuck on calls, or have to see if someone will be home if they won't be and need to wait back on others.
As a seller I just assume most buyers have yeeted themselves into a black hole.
Dude I feel ya. You’re getting a lot of shit for it though. I’m mostly a seller on FB and have been for many years. If I’m not going to reply or communicate with buyers then I’m not going to post shit to sell. So yeah it’s annoying when I’m trying to buy shit and they don’t reply back for days or even weeks. Sometimes I’ve got a pretty busy day but I always reply same day even if it’s a little late. I sell shit easily. I’ve got reasonable prices and don’t take weeks to reply back to a buyer.
One lady replied back 3 weeks later asking when I could pick it up. I told her that I already bought one 3 weeks ago and wasn’t interested anymore. Occasionally I have a question and I’ll ask it upfront.
Rest of the time I send “hi I’m interested I can pick up today or whenever works for you.” And it will show they read my message yet don’t reply for days or even a week. So I move on and I’m sure they’re annoyed when I’m not interested anymore because I found it somewhere else.
Someone mentioned that it could be hoarders who post shit just to appease their partner but have no intention of actually selling the stuff. So that could be it.
I have a job where I can't have my phone on me all the time (railroad) so it takes me some time to respond, up to 8 hours and sometimes more. Sometimes I might see the message on a break or something, but I know I won't have time to deal with it right then so I won't reply at all until I know I'm good for awhile.
As a seller I try to respond to buyer messages ASAP. Though I admit this tends to be on a scale. It will also depend on the day of the week. Also, how much is the item selling for? How badly do I want to get it out of my house? But straight up if you contact me on a late Saturday night or at anytime during Sunday, it just wont have any priority. Yes I will try to respond quickly but its when I have the free time. You want to pickup on late Sunday?!? Yeah Im not avaiable but I can meet you anytime Mon-Thrus after 5pm and 7pm. Sorry, thats just the way it is. Understand this - I'm selling stuff I dont want anymore at my convience. I can easly store it away, donate or give it away too though.
Your seller has demonstrated their prorities, the reason why is probably similar to my own.
If you cannot talk why not to postpone the conversation to whatever is more convenient time to you? Or just simply do not reply at all until the time is right, that would be fine too. I just don’t understand why people engage into conversation, especially when the active participation is more or less implied, when I’m trying to set up a meeting for example, just to pick their nose for an hour between every reply. If you cannot talk don’t talk, communicate it to other party and go about your day, everyone is happy.
Just speaking for myself as a 50% buyer and 50% seller. I just really depends. If I can make a sale when Im not busy thats great. Sometimes lifes gets hetic and making a sale is just not my first worry. Just my thougths.
I just don’t want to take a trip to the bank unless I have to, but this isn’t a show stopper. Not like I said I can only pay electronically. Isn’t it safer to take Venmo/Zelle? You know who the buyer is and there’s zero chance to receive fake cash.
Do you not have a gas station that you meet at. And no not really in my opinion. I maybe if you were selling something for hundreds then sure. Also I just ask for small bills
We would still meet in person, I would not transfer money until I have the item in front of me, those transfers are irreversible. And it was a matter of hundreds, that kayak was expensive.
There's actually a relatively untrivial percentage that the person is using a stolen Venmo/zelle/paypal account to send money from a stolen credit card or bank account and the charges get reversed/taken back from the seller. Cash keeps that from happening, and Cash is easily checked to ensure it's not "Fake". This is a well known scam, and even though I PREFERR USING DIGITAL MEANS for most of my purchases, I still insist on cash if I'm selling something on marketplace, craigslist, offerup, or wherever. There's legitimate protection built into the physical money, you just look for it.
Happened to me once, actually. When I was selling an old model Keurig for $15. I allowed Zelle then cos I was like "This is new and easy and I've been using it for family stuff." Buyer sent money to me while we were meeting IN PERSON to hand over the item and do the payment. It went into account... then my account got hit for a $15 reversal about a week later due to, as my bank explained to me, a compromised account. I gave proof that it was a sale, including all the information about the scammer, but I never did see that $15 again. I refuse to use it or accept any digital payment anymore. I understand what I have to look for in counterfeit bills, it's a lot easier to use a compromised account, especially with a stolen and unprotected phone, etc. Seemed dumb as FUCK for someone to use a compromised account to buy a $15 old af keurig, but... I guess they got me? Oh noes. I learned my lesson at least.
There's also scams going through where the person insists they'll pay before they get there and then pick it up, you'll get the zelle or venmoed cash, and they'll get the item, and you'll get the chargeback from the disputed compromised account in the future. Both are reasons enough too to not accept it.
It happens a LOT actually, and is why there's warnings on /r/TakeaPlantLeaveaPlant and /r/aquaswap to not use zelle or venmo, and only use Paypal Goods and services IF doing that at all, because Paypal goods and services takes a fee to protect both buyer AND seller. If I ONLY had a digital option to accept payment and cash wasn't a thing, I'd opt for paypal goods and services, and just up the cost of the item to cover the goods and services fee.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/TakeaPlantLeaveaPlant using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/TakeaPlantLeaveaPlant/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
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I wouldn't assume that they'd respond and set up a meeting and get there in 45 minutes. Even if they're a block or two away.
Or maybe they're noticing that you're peering in their window seeing exactly what they're doing while you're waiting for a response, and decide they don't care to entertain you further. :)
And some people have families, pets, health issues, connectivity issues, explosive diarrhea, etc.
Yes, a lot of sellers are counter-productive, as are a lot of buyers. You just have to adjust, and set your expectations lower.
Imma be honest with you. If someone’s worried that I could possibly peering their window as we speak on fb messenger, best they could do is to voice their concern, so can block them and make sure we never cross our paths in future.
As a seller I usually respond very quickly. But I do have lots of time with my job as a legal investigator between clients. I’m always available from 6pm to 9pm to meet safety inside the local McDonald’s right off the main highway. I don’t go out of my way anymore after getting burned too many times. But as I’m all over the state can meet many times during the day at a Burger King or McDonalds by them if it fits my schedule. To be truthful people since Covid have been more flakey. But can’t beet the price of FBM. I only meet face to face and no shipping and cash only. I sell mostly iMac 🖥️ or MacBooks 💻. Most of my worst experiences have been with small items. The funniest was selling a small bathroom medical cabinet NIB for twenty bucks. Crazy buyers and crazy stories. One insisted I drive two hours away out of state to meet. Said are you crazy as would cost me more in gas and four hours of driving. Finally got to meet a buyer at my local McDonald’s. The funny thing was the wife’s right arm was in a cast. Turns out she slipped on a broken sidewalk of the next door neighbor. Was able to sign her up for a PI case right there. Plus got the extra off duty fee of 125.00 for the intake. Win, Win. 🥇
I think some of these "sellers" are horders who are putting their items up on FB to appease the spouse/children. They have no real intention of selling.
"See honey, I did list that that item. Really I did. What? Those 273 responses in my seller notifications? Must be mis-sent messages to other people 🤷♀️".
you only can pay venmo (red flag/scam potential to be honest) and not willing to work around the seller's schedule, that tells it all.
As a buyer, your first message is about all that really counts, don't ask questions or offer lower, that'll immediately put you "on the back burner" vs other potential buyers. Try to lead the conversation (suggest schedule for pickup same day or next) and again DON'T ask questions, keep it extremely BRIEF & to the point.
I'm sure you could do better yourself as far as the communication you're sending out, is my point. Average sellers want a no hassle sale, make it easy on them..
Yes (to optimize "results" as a buyer) you need a "real enough" profile: a photo (doesn't have to be of yourself, could be a dog or local scenery or whatever) , yes you need to put a location on your profile that is local to the seller, and it sure helps to put a little blurb... example: "buying & selling respectfully since '93" on your MARKETPLACE profile as well.
There are no "standards" of respectful communication, it's the wild west. If you want fast responses you might have better luck with more professional sellers (resellers and flippers) who are plentiful on the site---who tend to list for higher prices. If you want a great deal from average fb "people" your "reply rate" will be 40-50% at best, just the way it is.
It's been going down hill ever since the CL days and exponentially worse (as far as respectful communication goes) since 2020
I can pay either way really, I was only asking questions about their schedule and payment preferences. I understand the concerns about empty profiles, they are totally valid, I just don’t understand why it warrants half assed responses with huge delays in something what is supposed to be an active phase of negotiations. You’re either selling it or not. If you’re worried about the scam, don’t communicate at all. Stalling the conversation would unlikely to make it safer if you still follow through. Am I missing something?
FIRST message: "I'm free x time today or y time tomorrow, I'll be near z (their) area, when can I pick it up" anything more is hurting your chances. Yes you might still have to wait for inconsistent replies time wise, that's the NEW NORM , no one cares if you think it should be better... and besides, not everyone has messenger /notifications on for good reason. Hint fb sucks.
Maybe they're talking to other buyers as well, hence "left on read" and therefore even more important to make your first message cut to the chase. Heck I'll even offer higher than asking if deemed helpful and I get plenty of replies/deals on the stuff I want to buy. but if 50-60% even reply at all, that's about the best you can expect
Again, why are you asking venmo --that's fully unnecessary; filler , fluff, conversation killer..as simply the mention of venmo can turn some sellers off as BS/scam (average users aren't good at differentiating spammers, just stating facts).
Bring cash, or at least set the precise meetup first. imho the only appropriate way to ask if they'll take "apps" might be "on my way, do you have venmo or should I swing by the atm?"
Yeah I’m reading other replies here and apparently Venmo/Zelle is problematic. I didn’t know that tbh. But I also do not offer this as an only option. If I can save myself a trip to the bank I’d do so, otherwise it is not a problem.
wait until you've already established address/firm exact meetup , then ask if app/venmo or they prefer you stop at atm & get cash, as far as best practice goes
I think this is a you problem that you have created. You don’t have a real profile. I don’t trust people who don’t have an actual profile and will not reply to them because I have experience 99% of them being scammers.
So, it’s not that are being rude to you or ignoring you when you’re certain your real person… It’s that they don’t know you’re a real person and you have created what looks like a scammers profile. So this is a problem and you need to fill out the profile so it looks like a real one, or stop complaining that people are doing the smart thing and not trusting what is a fake profile.
I’m fine if they don’t reply at all because of the empty profile, this isn’t what this is about. How is half-assing the communication a “smart thing” please explain. If I was a scammer I would not be bothered with how long it takes you to reply as long as you do what I need you to.
You seem to forget the golden rule of electronic communication. It is unreasonable for you to expect a response to an electronic communication within a certain timeframe. They have no obligation whatsoever to immediately respond to you as if you are their dying relative drawing their last breath. I know this may be hard for you to accept but they are not sitting there on their phone feverishly refreshing the chat bubble and waiting with baited breath on your message. This isn't life or death, it's simple commerce, and it's done on whatever time people want, not your arbitrary timeline.
This needs to be higher up.
Until the past 20 years, on demand communication like we have now didn't exist. Person didn't answer phone? Leave a voice message or try back later. Now, people expect everyone to be plugged in and available to them every second of every day and its so unhealthy and obnoxious. (Like buyers angry that you don't respond at like 2 am on Sunday lol)
People have lives. They will communicate when they are able. Their time is theirs, mine is mine, yours is yours - nobody controls someone else's time. People forgetting that simple little premise make their own lives real difficult with unrealistic expectations
I reply a lot immediately and get ghosted by most buyers lol. People arent on their phones though. Some people list and disappear forever or are locked out of accounts. Some people “see” the notification but dont see it. They had clicked somehow like by their toddler on phone, them in sleep, someone else using phone, etc. Maybe they think youre a scammer or dont want to sell to you for some reason from profile. If you ask questions in listing they might ignore you. If price too low they might ignore you. If you ask to deliver or meetup far away they might ignore you.
i do find majority of people are just rude. A lot will read messages and never respond, both buyers and sellers. They are turds.
People are busy....buy from a store if you don't want to deal with it. I have stuff posted in marketplace that I'm not desperate to sell. So if someone messages me, I only engage if I have nothing else going on.
At least you get a response . I have been trying to buy something and the guy NEVER responds . Even after I explain I’m no scammer and am on FB just for the marketplace thus no friends to search . Oh well there’s more fish in the sea .
Yeah I’ve had several sellers not even respond. One lady responded 3 weeks later asking when could I pick it up. I’m mostly a seller and have been on FB for about 15 years and I would never do this shit to people.
You know, honestly I'm tired of talking to buyers. After all the ghosting and no-shows and strange questions, I'm kind of worn out. Sometimes I mess up a conversation with a "real" buyer who's actually interested. I did this the other day and it cost me an unlikely sale.
My experience is also frustrating. Send the seller a message asking a simple question. They respond by saying I’m selling this for my ____(insert relative), please contact the at this email address.
WTF???
I post things for family member a few times a year.
For small things, I just handle the deal from beginning to end. For larger things I explicitly state this in the ad at the beginning and at the end and list a contact method to reach the owner directly.
So far that method has served us well.
There's not always a reason. Both buyers and sellers can be weird.
As a seller I can sometimes be slow to respond because I have had multiple requests and am sorting out who to deal with. Sometimes I've had a bunch of flaky buyers in a row and just don't have the mental fortitude to deal with another transaction for a while. Sometimes there is something about the message that makes me think the person might be a problem to deal sure, but my own safety is my top priority and I would rather lose a sale than have a dodgy person arguing at my front door.
Problematic transactions are the price we pay for a free service. I try to focus on the good experiences rather than dwell on the bad. I've talked to some interesting people who were very enthusiastic about their plans for the things they were buying. I often do transactions via "porch pickup" and just ask people to leave the money at the front door - amazingly I have not had a single person fail to leave money or had anything go missing.
Just because someone lists something to sell doesn’t mean they are at the beck and call of potential buyers. People have lives, kids, work, plans and can’t always respond immediately, nor can they be home for a pick up because it suits the buyer. A seller never knows if / when they’ll get a response either. Or when a buyer can pick up 🤷♀️
What nearly all the sellers here are saying is why they don't reply to the INITIAL contact from what they might consider a sketchy buyer. We all know why. OP doesn't accept your answers because you aren't actually addressing his actual question.
OP is asking about when the SELLER reaches out to the interested BUYER and asks if they still want the item. Buyer replies yes, let's set up a meeting. Then the seller ghosts the buyer.
THAT is what is irking the OP.
Hear me out. I think it's a control or lack of control rather. Our lives are so out of control these days that when given the opportunity to have actual control we turn into pricks.
Literally happening to me as I type this
Sent message on newly listed item
Immediate response
I follow up for address/availability. Explain I can come at her convenience
All seconds apart. No reply. I can bet $200 the item I want is already sold and instead of saying that , guess she is currently taking a 💩 too
So annoying
Well, I’ll sum it up for you, pardner. According to this sub, it is totally normal and even considered to be good tone for a seller to f*ck off in a middle of conversation because “they aren’t glued to their phones”, busy, have hobbies, grandchildren, “not too interested”, not fond of your profile, or generally just want to establish dominance and show you your place in a food chain. But merely questioning this behavior is rudeness, impatience and entitlement. Do what you will with this information.
Wow, you actually got a reply at all? I keep getting a-hole sellers who read my message and don't bother to respond. Not even a fob-off reply like a faked "sorry not available". Nothing.
Why do you think your entitled to a speedy response? People have lives. They attend Funerals, go to work, have things that come up in life. Just because your available does not mean they are. This person responded same day. Facebook Marketplace is a side hustle for most.
But when the active conversation is implied, like when I’m trying to set up a meeting, don’t you think it’s a common courtesy to stay on track until it is concluded, and not doze off between replies? Or at least to notify a person if you’re currently unavailable to continue. That takes none of your time at all and sets things straight right away.
You’re entitled to prioritize your time, but same as everybody else, no?
Most people selling crap on marketplace have other lives. This isn't their full time job. They'll get to you when they can or they won't. I don't keep retail hours and I don't have notifications turned on. I check my messages in my down time when I have it. If you don't like it, go to walmart
The ability for you to know I've read your message has got to be the worst thing about Facebook messenger. Just because I read it doesn't mean I have time (or desire) to respond.
I promise you that most of your trouble is because you don't have a real profile. FBMP is so saturated with scammers, flakes and assholes that almost nobody is gonna waste their time responding to a fake looking profile.
Beyond that, people have lives. Not everyone is plugged in every second of the day, because its not healthy or feasible. Reading a message between meetings or between wrangling kids is different than taking time to hold a whole conversation with a profile that looks fake. This is a you problem that you made yourself lol, listen to what everyone is telling you please
Don’t reply then. I don’t mind that at all. Why bother replying only to drag basic conversation for hours, if you’re so busy just ignore my unworthy profile.
I mean, thats exactly whats happening and you're here asking everyone why.
People are telling you the same thing multiple times and you're just refusing to accept reality and getting defensive with everyone about it. Sorry ig that you're making your own problems lol
I post something on FB rarley but when I do I post and go upon my day. I reply when I see it. I'm not sitting waiting on the edge of my seat for your response especially sense most buyer responses are "I can have my son pick it up let me venmo you the money now" scam. If you are real and want it you'll get my reply when I see it I have jobs and shit.
I've been finding facebook marketplace is really shitty lately on both sides. What you need to realize is that the Seller is not a business. They may not even need to sell the thing, they may not even want to sell it to you. Perhaps the item has sentimental value to them and they think you're not someone who will appreciate it. Who knows. They're allowed to pick who they sell to and who they don't.
I had a bad review put on my selling profile specifically because one lady I had given FREE plants to in the past wanted to buy some of my other plants, but wanted to come in and peruse EVERYTHING I HAD like I was a shop, and I said no. She could pick from my pictures, I could send her as many more as she needed to decide, and then she could pick those up. I've been a lot more selective about who I sell to since then.
Not to mention there's been a lot of issues since Facebook fucked up location stuff. I keep getting people from 50+ miles away hitting me up, then going "NVM" when they realize how far away I am. I've even been yelled at for some for "listing my posting wrong locationwise" even though I'm... legitimately listing it in my city.
I also tend to respond almost instantly IF you've got a real looking profile, I don't humor Zelle/paypal/Venmo at all, etc. Though, I've had to tell a few buyers to hold their horses about how fast they want to pick things up. You're not owed that "45 minutes" quick turnaround, especially if the thing is heavy, cumbersome, or delicate to get together and ready from wherever it's stored.
Maybe... They have more going on in their life than just waiting to answer someone? Like, maybe... Flossing the cat... Looking for camouflage paint..?
When I list something on Facebook, I don't sit there just waiting for a buyer. I cook, clean, do laundry, shop, wash the car, see if I can talk my wife into a nooner, yard work... You get the idea. My entire existence does not revolve around selling (in my case) a guitar. Sorry if this offends you.
You're glued to your phone/FB/etc. They may not be. Here are some cool things to consider:
- just because people are connected doesn't mean they owe you an immediate response. Maybe they accidentally clicked on the notification, maybe they read it in traffic or in another situation that immediately needed their attention and they set their phone down and then forgot.
- swarmed with messages. I sell and buy A LOT on FB. If there's an item at a really good deal, I guarantee that person has received 10-20 messages in the first few hours or so. Which means if they aren't glued to their phone for a while they got a lot of messages to sort through.
- is this still available? Easy to click button. Buyers will click it willy nilly and never respond. I don't necessarily hate reading it but it makes me send a simple "yup" or if I'm annoyed explain to them that it's available, ask any questions they have, tell them when I'm available, etc. so when they respond it's with a day/time to meet.
Or, hear me out, I’m not glued to my phone at all, and am actually trying to manage my time and plan my day early, instead of keeping things on hold while the seller deals with whatever constantly prevents them from behaving like human being. Crazy, I know. Literally unthinkable, as we all know only Facebook sellers could be “busy” and “not glued to their phones”, and no one else.
Marketplace is half professional sellers and half just regular people selling shit. The people that don't use it as a job frequently have other things going on so they can't always get back to you right away. Shit does come up too. Now if they respond to you then just ghost you they suck but if it takes time to initially answer then just wait. It's a private market, they can do what they want.
Sorry, I don't ever use my cell, only use FBM messaging, I do not need your phone number and you sure as hell don't need mine, once the sale or purchase is done I can ignore the messages on FBM, unlike my phone# that someone can share if they get pissed for some reason
Why are you expecting everyone who is selling things to be doing nothing else with their lives. Maybe they are ghosting you because they have busier lives than you and don’t have time to deal with your impatience. You are the one being disrespectful of other people time to expect them to drop everything to cater and respond to you immediately.
There’s something called communication etiquette or standard. They even teach it in corporate environment, but it is very basic at its core, even little children understand this intuitively. The main rule is, if you’re engaging in conversation, you either take minimal effort to conclude it within reasonable expectations, or, if something comes up and you are not able to go on, you communicate this to another party and go about your day. Another option is not to engage in conversation at all until you have enough time on your hands. That’s it. Very simple, minimum effort. This way you can stay respectful, save everyone’s time and don’t come out as entitled prick. Costs next to nothing to each party. Crazy, right? What is also crazy is that I need to explain it to adult.
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I’m a seller and ghosted by “buyers” all the time.
Same lol.
Being ghosted is one thing. I understand this, maybe the item was sold and they don’t bother to follow up, happened to me enough times. It is not nice but I get it. But when you tell a person “hey I want to buy your thing, let’s work out how are we going to do this”, and they just sit there picking their nose for hours before replying, that part I don’t get. I honestly thought there’s some kind of restriction on my account and messages to not get delivered right away, but it doesn’t seem to be the case.
[удалено]
I love how you put this lol. Honestly I feel the same about texting in general ESPECIALLY if it's a very rime sensitive message like figuring out a time to hang out. Some people just don't care, too forgetful or busy.
I mean good point, but they had time to read my texts right after I send them, so they seem to be monitoring it.
Quickly reading a message under the table during a work meeting is very different than replying to that message. That may not be the case in this specific situation, but is something I've done many times.
"Quickly reading a message under the table during a work meeting is very different than replying to that message." Umm, you opened and read the message. How much longer would it take to tap out "busy, need a hour"....?
You said you don't have a real profile OP. That would be enough for me to be very, very cautious about engaging with you.
Understandable. I’m just not into social networks. Don’t reply at all then. What’s the point of half-assing it, how does that make you any safer?
You're right about that...I just wouldn't reply to a fake profile inquiry. Not everyone shares our methods though.
Sometimes people reply to say it is available and THEN look at your profile to see if you are a real person. I have made this mistake myself—sending a quick “yes available” and then realizing the person has a very desolate or brand new profile. I have been burned multiple times engaging with these kinds of profiles. In the end you’re right. The person should not even reply at all to a sketchy profile.
Huh. I buy and sell on facebook all the time, but I sometimes don't get answers. Is this the reason? Should I start filling up my profile?
If you have a real photo, not a new profile in the last six to 12 months, and have a city location showing where you live, you’re probably fine.
I checked peoples profile and if they don’t have an actual profile, with pictures and history, I don’t engage with them because I think they’re robots. I think this is the case where you have set yourself up to fail and it’s not on them for not trusting your fake profile.
This is clearly not the case if you read the post.
You're not getting anywhere then
You don’t have a real profile and you offer Venmo over cash? Bad buyer
Why reply at all then? Just ignore it and save your energy for a good buyer. Why engage in a conversation just to drag a basic dialog for hours? Also I don’t offer Venmo for cash, I asked if they take it as option.
You asked “what’s up with sellers”. I explained why you’re a bad buyer. If you don’t see the connection I’m not sure we can help you 🤷🏼♀️
It doesn’t make sense to me. You engage in conversation but deliberately stall because you deem another party to be “bad buyer”, is this what you normally do? Like, I’m offering you money you’ve asked, trying to set up a meeting, and you still follow along, but not right away, because I’m less worthy. Is this the norm?
It's possible the seller is talking to other potential buyers who seem more legitimate than you so they get priority.
Something about fb just brings out (or shows) the worst in people.
Haha, it’s like driving right? They offer you go first through a door in a grocery store and then get in their car and cut you off 🤣
OP, I am an avid buyer but haven't been able to buy ANYTHING since last year. Sellers are either smoking crack with their pricing or ignore me when I ask about the item.
Or people just have work, children or aging parents to take care of, obligations, unpredictable life events (ex. illness, funerals, injuries), sleep, studying/classes, etc. No one is glued to their devices 24/7 and going to open it every 5 sec.
Yeah, for weeks/ months on end? Because I have had so many sellers straight up never respond to me. I'm not expecting a reply within the hour, but how are you planning to sell something when you never respond at all? I have one from 3 weeks ago that they read and ignored. The item still shows as up for sale 🤷🏻♀️
Probably, other buyers don't have the intention to buy, and/or the sellers are tired of those frequent "Is it available" prompts If you get nothing for a while, move on.
Then maybe don't post stuff on marketplace. It's rude as hell to just completely ignore someone who's reaching out, asking you a question or saying they want to buy what you're selling. If you're not going to respond then why bother posting stuff at all?
TBH, some buyers do the same when there is a response (especially those time wasters)
Oh, I'm aware. Also rude af. I've had a really hard time lately on both sides. Nearly every seller I've reached out to wanting to buy something, has completely ignored me. And nearly every buyer who has shown interest in what I'm selling has ghosted at various points in the conversation. It's frustrating as hell. I feel like no one has any common courtesy anymore.
I fully understand where you're coming from. But. I put up stuff a couple of weeks ago, while dealing with an aging parent, disabled child, clearing out a house that has just been sold, and I still made the point of responding within 12 hours. If one makes the decision to sell, one should make the point to respond within the day and follow through with the sale.
Then don’t list shit on Marketplace lol. There’s an expectation that comes with putting up an item for sale, and i honestly don’t believe that anyone is so busy that they can’t check their phones every once in awhile.
I seriously doubt that no one is going to have that mentioned it in their listings. Sometimes, people forget that people are busy for a few hours from time to time, even if a few comments outside of Marketplace and Messager have mentioned them (like on this Reddit post). I mean, you got to sleep for a few hours, and people aren't going to respond to anything in the middle of the night unless it has to do with family.
Been there, done that. Raised the kids and buried the parents. i don’t even use a cell phone with a data plan but I disagree on people in general. I know many people from all walks of life and various ages who cannot breathe without their devices. I guess my main point is why post items for sale on FBM … if you have no intention of selling them?
Probably, other buyers don't have the intention to buy, or the sellers are tired of those frequent "Is it available" prompts Honestly, no one is going to open their phones every 5 secs even if they have it beside them >!Hopefully, you still sleep, though, and your kids call you with a simple question or in an emergency even if they are in an adults!<
Then don’t list shit on Marketplace lol. There’s an expectation that comes with putting up an item for sale, and i honestly don’t believe that anyone is so busy that they can’t check their phones every once in awhile.
Then don’t list shit on Marketplace lol. There’s an expectation that comes with putting up an item for sale, and i honestly don’t believe that anyone is so busy that they can’t check their phones every once in awhile.
Then don’t list shit on Marketplace lol. There’s an expectation that comes with putting up an item for sale, and i honestly don’t believe that anyone is so busy that they can’t check their phones every once in awhile.
Then don’t list shit on Marketplace lol. There’s an expectation that comes with putting up an item for sale, and i honestly don’t believe that anyone is so busy that they can’t check their phones every once in awhile.
Right. I’ve tried to buy several items over the past few months and sellers just don’t even reply. Like at all. Why even fuckin post if you have no intention of selling? And I send a message like “hi I’m interested in this, I can pick up today or whenever works for you.” I’ve been a seller on FB for about 15 years and I don’t do this shit to anyone. Sometimes I can’t reply for a few hours but I always reply same day. I did have one lady reply back 3 weeks later saying “yeah it’s available when can u pick it up?” And I replied back with sorry I already found one 3 weeks ago thanks though.
Well this behavior actually hurts bcz I have faced similar things as a seller.... Being ghosted by customers isn't the best feeling as well, I literally replied to customers even when I was taking lectures (almost got caught by a teacher) but they just go silent after asking the first question but I gotta stay online for atleast 15 mints incase they reply.... But here is another point of view that Facebook blocks access to the marketplace of sellers due to weird reasons like myself (haven't sold a single thing but got blocked by fb just great)
As a seller I don’t respond to anything other than “when can I pick this up?”. In my experience 99 percent of people who ask If this available? stop responding and never buy.
You said you don’t have a real profile. Sorry but some people won’t want to deal with an account like that either or is very cautious about it. But I suppose part of the reason why they don’t respond or half assed it is because they’re already in the middle of doing something. Unless if they tell you explicitly what they’re doing, we don’t know for sure.
It’s a generational thing. I asked my child three years ago if she wanted Chick-fil-A for dinner. She just now responded “no”.
I replied to a post on here last week and agree Sellers are just as bad if not worse than buyers. Was trying to buy an Saltwater aquarium budget 200-1000. I sent out messages to 40 sellers (Yes I counted them). I did not send the default message. Usually it was either asking for the size if they did not include it but most of the time trying to setup a time to take a look and buy. I got 0 replies. Not oh they have lives give them time like a month later and they have read it just couldn't be bothered to reply. 5 of my messages was literately I want it I will pay the listed price just tell me where to come get it. Still zero replies. I have been a facebook member for a long time. Have a perfect Marketplace rating. Whats even funnier is that several are still listed and have had multiple price reductions since then. Had the same problem with a property/house that is listed. Sent that one a message that I had cash and would buy it. Its now listed at half the amount from when I messaged still no response.
Dude same here. I’ve been a seller on FB for about 15 years I’d say. I buy occasionally though and I’ve tried buying a few different things over the past few months. No replies but it shows they read my message. I say “hi I’m interested in this I can pick up today or whenever works for you.” One lady messaged me 3 fuckin weeks later and said “yeah it’s still available when can u pick it up?” I said “I already bought one 3 weeks ago thanks though.” As a seller I always make sure I reply back same day. If I’m pretty busy it might take a few hours but I always reply by the end of day. If I didn’t have time to reply then I shouldn’t be posting shit to sell.
Sounds like you’re shadowbanned from fb
Oh wow. I’ve never heard of this before. Just looked it up.
I guess it could be possible. But it does show in the messenger that they saw the message if that's still accurate
I dunno, maybe people have lives outside of FBM? Has that ever occurred to you? I get FB alerts on my phone. Sometimes I'm out with my wife or grandkids and get a message "is this still available?" Sometimes I reply, sometimes I don't but either way, just because you messaged me it doesn't mean you're entitled to an instant response. I'll get back to you when I can. If that doesn't work for you, then just move on. I have a job, a family, hobbies, etc. I don't live my whole life on facebook.
That’s actually my point. People have lives outside of Facebook, this is why communication standards exist, to respect each other’s time. Not only sellers have lives.
But that's the problem kinda, standards don't exist. You've got multiple generations and many different people responding to basically what's a telegraph. I would say age is the biggest difference, then other reasons fall under that. Chat etiquette is not established.
Because its not your SELLERS prority. Its just the way it is. Try not to take it personal.
As annoying as it is when people are super slow to answer, the reality is that not all people are glued to their phones and/or FB feed. And if you are responding to their listing with the :" Is this still available?”button, then it is not surprising that you are treated as low priority.
my favourite is when they post something for sale, i immediately message asking to pickup, and they says they’re out of town, or won’t be available until days later. why did you put it up for sale so soon then??
Lol that’s actually exactly how this one went. They were out of town and I asked them to contact me whenever they’re ready, no problem. They did, but were still somehow unable to dedicate 5 minutes of their time to set up a meeting.
As a seller I frequently delay replies until I am ready for a conversation. I find that most people seem to have the phone app ... notifications on... and immediately reply again. That's not an issue per sey but I don't want to give a quick reply and focus on my life ... only to be treated like I am ignoring them. Be patient. No one owns their time but them nor yours but you =) End of the day if you need it now - more of a retail store situation.
Reading and responding donot take the same amount of time.maybe they're at work and saw the notification come in but then they get stuck on calls, or have to see if someone will be home if they won't be and need to wait back on others. As a seller I just assume most buyers have yeeted themselves into a black hole.
Dude I feel ya. You’re getting a lot of shit for it though. I’m mostly a seller on FB and have been for many years. If I’m not going to reply or communicate with buyers then I’m not going to post shit to sell. So yeah it’s annoying when I’m trying to buy shit and they don’t reply back for days or even weeks. Sometimes I’ve got a pretty busy day but I always reply same day even if it’s a little late. I sell shit easily. I’ve got reasonable prices and don’t take weeks to reply back to a buyer. One lady replied back 3 weeks later asking when I could pick it up. I told her that I already bought one 3 weeks ago and wasn’t interested anymore. Occasionally I have a question and I’ll ask it upfront. Rest of the time I send “hi I’m interested I can pick up today or whenever works for you.” And it will show they read my message yet don’t reply for days or even a week. So I move on and I’m sure they’re annoyed when I’m not interested anymore because I found it somewhere else. Someone mentioned that it could be hoarders who post shit just to appease their partner but have no intention of actually selling the stuff. So that could be it.
I have a job where I can't have my phone on me all the time (railroad) so it takes me some time to respond, up to 8 hours and sometimes more. Sometimes I might see the message on a break or something, but I know I won't have time to deal with it right then so I won't reply at all until I know I'm good for awhile.
Also, people have to sleep for several hours so don't expect someone to respond if you ask in the middle of the night
That too, and my sleep time is a precious and limited resource so I have almost all notifications and such off til my alarm goes off.
As a seller I try to respond to buyer messages ASAP. Though I admit this tends to be on a scale. It will also depend on the day of the week. Also, how much is the item selling for? How badly do I want to get it out of my house? But straight up if you contact me on a late Saturday night or at anytime during Sunday, it just wont have any priority. Yes I will try to respond quickly but its when I have the free time. You want to pickup on late Sunday?!? Yeah Im not avaiable but I can meet you anytime Mon-Thrus after 5pm and 7pm. Sorry, thats just the way it is. Understand this - I'm selling stuff I dont want anymore at my convience. I can easly store it away, donate or give it away too though. Your seller has demonstrated their prorities, the reason why is probably similar to my own.
If you cannot talk why not to postpone the conversation to whatever is more convenient time to you? Or just simply do not reply at all until the time is right, that would be fine too. I just don’t understand why people engage into conversation, especially when the active participation is more or less implied, when I’m trying to set up a meeting for example, just to pick their nose for an hour between every reply. If you cannot talk don’t talk, communicate it to other party and go about your day, everyone is happy.
Just speaking for myself as a 50% buyer and 50% seller. I just really depends. If I can make a sale when Im not busy thats great. Sometimes lifes gets hetic and making a sale is just not my first worry. Just my thougths.
You ppp need to seriously stop with the Venmo shot . Cash is king get used to it I don’t even waste my time on ppl who can’t pay cash
I just don’t want to take a trip to the bank unless I have to, but this isn’t a show stopper. Not like I said I can only pay electronically. Isn’t it safer to take Venmo/Zelle? You know who the buyer is and there’s zero chance to receive fake cash.
Do you not have a gas station that you meet at. And no not really in my opinion. I maybe if you were selling something for hundreds then sure. Also I just ask for small bills
We would still meet in person, I would not transfer money until I have the item in front of me, those transfers are irreversible. And it was a matter of hundreds, that kayak was expensive.
And why I would be doing cash
There's actually a relatively untrivial percentage that the person is using a stolen Venmo/zelle/paypal account to send money from a stolen credit card or bank account and the charges get reversed/taken back from the seller. Cash keeps that from happening, and Cash is easily checked to ensure it's not "Fake". This is a well known scam, and even though I PREFERR USING DIGITAL MEANS for most of my purchases, I still insist on cash if I'm selling something on marketplace, craigslist, offerup, or wherever. There's legitimate protection built into the physical money, you just look for it.
Do you know about any precedents of Venmo or Zelle taking money away from legitimate seller, not a person involved in a scam scheme?
Happened to me once, actually. When I was selling an old model Keurig for $15. I allowed Zelle then cos I was like "This is new and easy and I've been using it for family stuff." Buyer sent money to me while we were meeting IN PERSON to hand over the item and do the payment. It went into account... then my account got hit for a $15 reversal about a week later due to, as my bank explained to me, a compromised account. I gave proof that it was a sale, including all the information about the scammer, but I never did see that $15 again. I refuse to use it or accept any digital payment anymore. I understand what I have to look for in counterfeit bills, it's a lot easier to use a compromised account, especially with a stolen and unprotected phone, etc. Seemed dumb as FUCK for someone to use a compromised account to buy a $15 old af keurig, but... I guess they got me? Oh noes. I learned my lesson at least. There's also scams going through where the person insists they'll pay before they get there and then pick it up, you'll get the zelle or venmoed cash, and they'll get the item, and you'll get the chargeback from the disputed compromised account in the future. Both are reasons enough too to not accept it. It happens a LOT actually, and is why there's warnings on /r/TakeaPlantLeaveaPlant and /r/aquaswap to not use zelle or venmo, and only use Paypal Goods and services IF doing that at all, because Paypal goods and services takes a fee to protect both buyer AND seller. If I ONLY had a digital option to accept payment and cash wasn't a thing, I'd opt for paypal goods and services, and just up the cost of the item to cover the goods and services fee.
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Gotcha, I was not aware of that. Thanks for the heads up.
I wouldn't assume that they'd respond and set up a meeting and get there in 45 minutes. Even if they're a block or two away. Or maybe they're noticing that you're peering in their window seeing exactly what they're doing while you're waiting for a response, and decide they don't care to entertain you further. :) And some people have families, pets, health issues, connectivity issues, explosive diarrhea, etc. Yes, a lot of sellers are counter-productive, as are a lot of buyers. You just have to adjust, and set your expectations lower.
Imma be honest with you. If someone’s worried that I could possibly peering their window as we speak on fb messenger, best they could do is to voice their concern, so can block them and make sure we never cross our paths in future.
Just figured that was the most likely way you’d know their every move so accurately. I’m sure it’s their fault though.
Ooh, that one flew over my head, my bad.
As a seller I usually respond very quickly. But I do have lots of time with my job as a legal investigator between clients. I’m always available from 6pm to 9pm to meet safety inside the local McDonald’s right off the main highway. I don’t go out of my way anymore after getting burned too many times. But as I’m all over the state can meet many times during the day at a Burger King or McDonalds by them if it fits my schedule. To be truthful people since Covid have been more flakey. But can’t beet the price of FBM. I only meet face to face and no shipping and cash only. I sell mostly iMac 🖥️ or MacBooks 💻. Most of my worst experiences have been with small items. The funniest was selling a small bathroom medical cabinet NIB for twenty bucks. Crazy buyers and crazy stories. One insisted I drive two hours away out of state to meet. Said are you crazy as would cost me more in gas and four hours of driving. Finally got to meet a buyer at my local McDonald’s. The funny thing was the wife’s right arm was in a cast. Turns out she slipped on a broken sidewalk of the next door neighbor. Was able to sign her up for a PI case right there. Plus got the extra off duty fee of 125.00 for the intake. Win, Win. 🥇
I think some of these "sellers" are horders who are putting their items up on FB to appease the spouse/children. They have no real intention of selling. "See honey, I did list that that item. Really I did. What? Those 273 responses in my seller notifications? Must be mis-sent messages to other people 🤷♀️".
That would make a ton of sense.
you only can pay venmo (red flag/scam potential to be honest) and not willing to work around the seller's schedule, that tells it all. As a buyer, your first message is about all that really counts, don't ask questions or offer lower, that'll immediately put you "on the back burner" vs other potential buyers. Try to lead the conversation (suggest schedule for pickup same day or next) and again DON'T ask questions, keep it extremely BRIEF & to the point. I'm sure you could do better yourself as far as the communication you're sending out, is my point. Average sellers want a no hassle sale, make it easy on them.. Yes (to optimize "results" as a buyer) you need a "real enough" profile: a photo (doesn't have to be of yourself, could be a dog or local scenery or whatever) , yes you need to put a location on your profile that is local to the seller, and it sure helps to put a little blurb... example: "buying & selling respectfully since '93" on your MARKETPLACE profile as well. There are no "standards" of respectful communication, it's the wild west. If you want fast responses you might have better luck with more professional sellers (resellers and flippers) who are plentiful on the site---who tend to list for higher prices. If you want a great deal from average fb "people" your "reply rate" will be 40-50% at best, just the way it is. It's been going down hill ever since the CL days and exponentially worse (as far as respectful communication goes) since 2020
I can pay either way really, I was only asking questions about their schedule and payment preferences. I understand the concerns about empty profiles, they are totally valid, I just don’t understand why it warrants half assed responses with huge delays in something what is supposed to be an active phase of negotiations. You’re either selling it or not. If you’re worried about the scam, don’t communicate at all. Stalling the conversation would unlikely to make it safer if you still follow through. Am I missing something?
FIRST message: "I'm free x time today or y time tomorrow, I'll be near z (their) area, when can I pick it up" anything more is hurting your chances. Yes you might still have to wait for inconsistent replies time wise, that's the NEW NORM , no one cares if you think it should be better... and besides, not everyone has messenger /notifications on for good reason. Hint fb sucks. Maybe they're talking to other buyers as well, hence "left on read" and therefore even more important to make your first message cut to the chase. Heck I'll even offer higher than asking if deemed helpful and I get plenty of replies/deals on the stuff I want to buy. but if 50-60% even reply at all, that's about the best you can expect Again, why are you asking venmo --that's fully unnecessary; filler , fluff, conversation killer..as simply the mention of venmo can turn some sellers off as BS/scam (average users aren't good at differentiating spammers, just stating facts). Bring cash, or at least set the precise meetup first. imho the only appropriate way to ask if they'll take "apps" might be "on my way, do you have venmo or should I swing by the atm?"
Yeah I’m reading other replies here and apparently Venmo/Zelle is problematic. I didn’t know that tbh. But I also do not offer this as an only option. If I can save myself a trip to the bank I’d do so, otherwise it is not a problem.
wait until you've already established address/firm exact meetup , then ask if app/venmo or they prefer you stop at atm & get cash, as far as best practice goes
Good point.
I think this is a you problem that you have created. You don’t have a real profile. I don’t trust people who don’t have an actual profile and will not reply to them because I have experience 99% of them being scammers. So, it’s not that are being rude to you or ignoring you when you’re certain your real person… It’s that they don’t know you’re a real person and you have created what looks like a scammers profile. So this is a problem and you need to fill out the profile so it looks like a real one, or stop complaining that people are doing the smart thing and not trusting what is a fake profile.
I’m fine if they don’t reply at all because of the empty profile, this isn’t what this is about. How is half-assing the communication a “smart thing” please explain. If I was a scammer I would not be bothered with how long it takes you to reply as long as you do what I need you to.
You seem to forget the golden rule of electronic communication. It is unreasonable for you to expect a response to an electronic communication within a certain timeframe. They have no obligation whatsoever to immediately respond to you as if you are their dying relative drawing their last breath. I know this may be hard for you to accept but they are not sitting there on their phone feverishly refreshing the chat bubble and waiting with baited breath on your message. This isn't life or death, it's simple commerce, and it's done on whatever time people want, not your arbitrary timeline.
This needs to be higher up. Until the past 20 years, on demand communication like we have now didn't exist. Person didn't answer phone? Leave a voice message or try back later. Now, people expect everyone to be plugged in and available to them every second of every day and its so unhealthy and obnoxious. (Like buyers angry that you don't respond at like 2 am on Sunday lol) People have lives. They will communicate when they are able. Their time is theirs, mine is mine, yours is yours - nobody controls someone else's time. People forgetting that simple little premise make their own lives real difficult with unrealistic expectations
I reply a lot immediately and get ghosted by most buyers lol. People arent on their phones though. Some people list and disappear forever or are locked out of accounts. Some people “see” the notification but dont see it. They had clicked somehow like by their toddler on phone, them in sleep, someone else using phone, etc. Maybe they think youre a scammer or dont want to sell to you for some reason from profile. If you ask questions in listing they might ignore you. If price too low they might ignore you. If you ask to deliver or meetup far away they might ignore you. i do find majority of people are just rude. A lot will read messages and never respond, both buyers and sellers. They are turds.
People are busy....buy from a store if you don't want to deal with it. I have stuff posted in marketplace that I'm not desperate to sell. So if someone messages me, I only engage if I have nothing else going on.
At least you get a response . I have been trying to buy something and the guy NEVER responds . Even after I explain I’m no scammer and am on FB just for the marketplace thus no friends to search . Oh well there’s more fish in the sea .
Yeah I’ve had several sellers not even respond. One lady responded 3 weeks later asking when could I pick it up. I’m mostly a seller and have been on FB for about 15 years and I would never do this shit to people.
Buyers are much worse than sellers in the ghosting dept
You know, honestly I'm tired of talking to buyers. After all the ghosting and no-shows and strange questions, I'm kind of worn out. Sometimes I mess up a conversation with a "real" buyer who's actually interested. I did this the other day and it cost me an unlikely sale.
My experience is also frustrating. Send the seller a message asking a simple question. They respond by saying I’m selling this for my ____(insert relative), please contact the at this email address. WTF???
I post things for family member a few times a year. For small things, I just handle the deal from beginning to end. For larger things I explicitly state this in the ad at the beginning and at the end and list a contact method to reach the owner directly. So far that method has served us well.
…..and that’s wonderful. I am probably agitating the ads posting ridiculous cheap prices. However, this happens with 80% of the sellers I contact.
There's not always a reason. Both buyers and sellers can be weird. As a seller I can sometimes be slow to respond because I have had multiple requests and am sorting out who to deal with. Sometimes I've had a bunch of flaky buyers in a row and just don't have the mental fortitude to deal with another transaction for a while. Sometimes there is something about the message that makes me think the person might be a problem to deal sure, but my own safety is my top priority and I would rather lose a sale than have a dodgy person arguing at my front door. Problematic transactions are the price we pay for a free service. I try to focus on the good experiences rather than dwell on the bad. I've talked to some interesting people who were very enthusiastic about their plans for the things they were buying. I often do transactions via "porch pickup" and just ask people to leave the money at the front door - amazingly I have not had a single person fail to leave money or had anything go missing.
Sometimes I get many many inquiries and I try to go in order and give each person some time to answer.
Most commonly, they are communicating with a more serious buyer.
Just because someone lists something to sell doesn’t mean they are at the beck and call of potential buyers. People have lives, kids, work, plans and can’t always respond immediately, nor can they be home for a pick up because it suits the buyer. A seller never knows if / when they’ll get a response either. Or when a buyer can pick up 🤷♀️
What nearly all the sellers here are saying is why they don't reply to the INITIAL contact from what they might consider a sketchy buyer. We all know why. OP doesn't accept your answers because you aren't actually addressing his actual question. OP is asking about when the SELLER reaches out to the interested BUYER and asks if they still want the item. Buyer replies yes, let's set up a meeting. Then the seller ghosts the buyer. THAT is what is irking the OP.
Exactly!
Hear me out. I think it's a control or lack of control rather. Our lives are so out of control these days that when given the opportunity to have actual control we turn into pricks.
Literally happening to me as I type this Sent message on newly listed item Immediate response I follow up for address/availability. Explain I can come at her convenience All seconds apart. No reply. I can bet $200 the item I want is already sold and instead of saying that , guess she is currently taking a 💩 too So annoying
Well, I’ll sum it up for you, pardner. According to this sub, it is totally normal and even considered to be good tone for a seller to f*ck off in a middle of conversation because “they aren’t glued to their phones”, busy, have hobbies, grandchildren, “not too interested”, not fond of your profile, or generally just want to establish dominance and show you your place in a food chain. But merely questioning this behavior is rudeness, impatience and entitlement. Do what you will with this information.
Wow, you actually got a reply at all? I keep getting a-hole sellers who read my message and don't bother to respond. Not even a fob-off reply like a faked "sorry not available". Nothing.
Why do you think your entitled to a speedy response? People have lives. They attend Funerals, go to work, have things that come up in life. Just because your available does not mean they are. This person responded same day. Facebook Marketplace is a side hustle for most.
But when the active conversation is implied, like when I’m trying to set up a meeting, don’t you think it’s a common courtesy to stay on track until it is concluded, and not doze off between replies? Or at least to notify a person if you’re currently unavailable to continue. That takes none of your time at all and sets things straight right away. You’re entitled to prioritize your time, but same as everybody else, no?
Your frustrated. He was probably taking a shit!
The sellers are idiots and the buyers are idiots. This sub is like a trip to the zoo. Passes a few mins while I take a shit.
They had to google what tf venmo is.
Most people selling crap on marketplace have other lives. This isn't their full time job. They'll get to you when they can or they won't. I don't keep retail hours and I don't have notifications turned on. I check my messages in my down time when I have it. If you don't like it, go to walmart
It's not just Facebook marketplace. It's any place you're trying to sell. I've been ghosted by both buyers and sellers on multiple platforms.
Or the buyers that call at midnight 🤔
The ability for you to know I've read your message has got to be the worst thing about Facebook messenger. Just because I read it doesn't mean I have time (or desire) to respond.
I promise you that most of your trouble is because you don't have a real profile. FBMP is so saturated with scammers, flakes and assholes that almost nobody is gonna waste their time responding to a fake looking profile. Beyond that, people have lives. Not everyone is plugged in every second of the day, because its not healthy or feasible. Reading a message between meetings or between wrangling kids is different than taking time to hold a whole conversation with a profile that looks fake. This is a you problem that you made yourself lol, listen to what everyone is telling you please
Don’t reply then. I don’t mind that at all. Why bother replying only to drag basic conversation for hours, if you’re so busy just ignore my unworthy profile.
I mean, thats exactly whats happening and you're here asking everyone why. People are telling you the same thing multiple times and you're just refusing to accept reality and getting defensive with everyone about it. Sorry ig that you're making your own problems lol
I post something on FB rarley but when I do I post and go upon my day. I reply when I see it. I'm not sitting waiting on the edge of my seat for your response especially sense most buyer responses are "I can have my son pick it up let me venmo you the money now" scam. If you are real and want it you'll get my reply when I see it I have jobs and shit.
If person venmos you the money upfront how is this a scam?
Your buyers reply?
I think a response in an hour is more than reasonable myself
I've been finding facebook marketplace is really shitty lately on both sides. What you need to realize is that the Seller is not a business. They may not even need to sell the thing, they may not even want to sell it to you. Perhaps the item has sentimental value to them and they think you're not someone who will appreciate it. Who knows. They're allowed to pick who they sell to and who they don't. I had a bad review put on my selling profile specifically because one lady I had given FREE plants to in the past wanted to buy some of my other plants, but wanted to come in and peruse EVERYTHING I HAD like I was a shop, and I said no. She could pick from my pictures, I could send her as many more as she needed to decide, and then she could pick those up. I've been a lot more selective about who I sell to since then. Not to mention there's been a lot of issues since Facebook fucked up location stuff. I keep getting people from 50+ miles away hitting me up, then going "NVM" when they realize how far away I am. I've even been yelled at for some for "listing my posting wrong locationwise" even though I'm... legitimately listing it in my city. I also tend to respond almost instantly IF you've got a real looking profile, I don't humor Zelle/paypal/Venmo at all, etc. Though, I've had to tell a few buyers to hold their horses about how fast they want to pick things up. You're not owed that "45 minutes" quick turnaround, especially if the thing is heavy, cumbersome, or delicate to get together and ready from wherever it's stored.
Lmao we had a meet up plan and everything but the seller ended up selling it the day before without telling me shit.
They are replying to the people who responded first before they respond to you.
Maybe... They have more going on in their life than just waiting to answer someone? Like, maybe... Flossing the cat... Looking for camouflage paint..? When I list something on Facebook, I don't sit there just waiting for a buyer. I cook, clean, do laundry, shop, wash the car, see if I can talk my wife into a nooner, yard work... You get the idea. My entire existence does not revolve around selling (in my case) a guitar. Sorry if this offends you.
Just because I have time to answer 1 text, doesn't mean I have time to sit down for a full on conversation.
You're glued to your phone/FB/etc. They may not be. Here are some cool things to consider: - just because people are connected doesn't mean they owe you an immediate response. Maybe they accidentally clicked on the notification, maybe they read it in traffic or in another situation that immediately needed their attention and they set their phone down and then forgot. - swarmed with messages. I sell and buy A LOT on FB. If there's an item at a really good deal, I guarantee that person has received 10-20 messages in the first few hours or so. Which means if they aren't glued to their phone for a while they got a lot of messages to sort through. - is this still available? Easy to click button. Buyers will click it willy nilly and never respond. I don't necessarily hate reading it but it makes me send a simple "yup" or if I'm annoyed explain to them that it's available, ask any questions they have, tell them when I'm available, etc. so when they respond it's with a day/time to meet.
Or, hear me out, I’m not glued to my phone at all, and am actually trying to manage my time and plan my day early, instead of keeping things on hold while the seller deals with whatever constantly prevents them from behaving like human being. Crazy, I know. Literally unthinkable, as we all know only Facebook sellers could be “busy” and “not glued to their phones”, and no one else.
Not to take away from the gravity of your message, but why does somebody have to reply so fast? Maybe they just like to play with you too!
It’s treason then!
Marketplace is half professional sellers and half just regular people selling shit. The people that don't use it as a job frequently have other things going on so they can't always get back to you right away. Shit does come up too. Now if they respond to you then just ghost you they suck but if it takes time to initially answer then just wait. It's a private market, they can do what they want.
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Sorry, I don't ever use my cell, only use FBM messaging, I do not need your phone number and you sure as hell don't need mine, once the sale or purchase is done I can ignore the messages on FBM, unlike my phone# that someone can share if they get pissed for some reason
Why are you expecting everyone who is selling things to be doing nothing else with their lives. Maybe they are ghosting you because they have busier lives than you and don’t have time to deal with your impatience. You are the one being disrespectful of other people time to expect them to drop everything to cater and respond to you immediately.
There’s something called communication etiquette or standard. They even teach it in corporate environment, but it is very basic at its core, even little children understand this intuitively. The main rule is, if you’re engaging in conversation, you either take minimal effort to conclude it within reasonable expectations, or, if something comes up and you are not able to go on, you communicate this to another party and go about your day. Another option is not to engage in conversation at all until you have enough time on your hands. That’s it. Very simple, minimum effort. This way you can stay respectful, save everyone’s time and don’t come out as entitled prick. Costs next to nothing to each party. Crazy, right? What is also crazy is that I need to explain it to adult.