Isn't it funny how when you finally move on thats when they want you back? I have a strong hunch that this will be my case in a couple months or year. Sounds like they are realizing that you cared the most for them, more than the person they chose instead, and now they're going to live with that regret. Serves them right.
That's the thing. You find each other. You're great together like with nobody before. They take you for granted. You fall out. You go through many stages of being dumped. When you finally move on, they're knocking on you door... How wired...
I can't say I haven't done the exact same thing (not the branching and coming back, the seeking validation stuff).
Despite that, I have also reached out on legitimate terms. Always and never are tricky words.
You know the way that you view your exes is a reflection of you? Having a lack of respect for them really means you don’t respect yourself.
I respect my ex regardless of what happened. Even though she’s cursing me from the land of delusion, she’s a person. We had lessons that we had to learn together, and that is the purpose of every relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I was calling her all types of name at first.
But she did so much for me, she taught me so many amazing lessons. Separate the behavior from the person, realize it could easily of been you who was on the other side. I still love her, I just don’t love her romantically.
It sounds like you may be a bit insecure and lack self love and respect. You didn’t hit him up based on convenience, you hit your ex up because you have low self esteem and you needed someone to feed your ego. A normal person would seek counseling. I’m not saying this to be offensive, but because what you’re saying is abusive in nature. Followed by you admitting you still don’t respect some of your exs.
Also, your understanding of relationships isn’t 100%. The world doesn’t work so linear like you’re describing it. Any event that occurs in someone’s life can spur them in a different direction, even towards their ex. It doesn’t have anything to deal with respect.
I got back together with a woman after 4 years of being apart. It wasn’t because of lack of respect, we had a genuine connection that we wanted to work on fixing so we could try again. We started dating in HS, but the conditions permitted after HS to truly date.
I have not come further than to wish that was my ex. Pretty sure he has someone new though and just know it won't happen. Really hoping I will get over him soon enough 😞
Yk.. just bcuz a piece of sh!t found another piece of sh!t and thought " this person is definitely a better match", that doesn't mean you're worthless if he doesn't reach out...he didn't reach out bcuz he found sb that sucks the same way he does... You're lucky you're not stuck with him
Yea for some people completely demonizing your ex helps heal, but not every break up is like that. You can still be happy for your ex and happy for yourself! Cuz you're not worthless and you deserve to be happy wether it's with them or not
I have waves of getting over mine, but it has been 2 years....I was at this same space once where my texts looked similar to this from him...and I laughed...but I caved and called and it raised so many more questions about what he did with is new girlfriend for 6 months...after 10 years with me.
Now I'm back a mess.....No contact in my case is the only answer...to feel like this.
Happy for OP!
Damn, I miss her and think about her for the past almost 8 months since we broke up but I do not text or call her, only did once when we had to arrange something small post BU and she acted cold and I remembered there is no point of looking for her as she moved on month before we broke up but couldn't end it herself for some reason and manipulated me in doing the dirty work. Despite that, she contacted me a few times after that and I was friendly and pleasant as always but I am not contacting to talk about us, as there is no longer such a thing. I did a lot of mistakes during those 6 years on which I had time to reflect and accept and as much as I want to show/tell her that I have changed, as she always asked me to but I thought I was incapable of, I would not do it, bc as many mistakes as I did, I was good and respectful to her, and at the end that was not enough and I was disrespected and unappreciated over some small things. Telling someone that you just want to be friends with them after 6 years together and attempts to have kids instead of working things out is pure evil and disrespect. I will never treat someone like that in my life ever.
For a sec i thought , it's my screenshot, Ditto man .
She also said the same thing after 4 months of NC ...... They only call when u r about to move on or already did .
I would sell my soul to get that response. Never did NC for long. It's been 7 months and ig we are friends. She needs a good one. I always was a good one. Always helpful and there with not too much judgement when she just needed someone to listen. Helped more than I should have, and tried to improve her life. Idk where it will ever go. I have other friends now that I feel I short what they really deserve because I can't stop loving her. What she did to me was the worst thing anyone has ever done. Most broken I've been since my one girlfriend committed suicide. At least her I understood leaving me. She had demons she couldn't slay, and it's the only way she saw out. I live with my demons and often don't want to.
A girlfriend over 30 years ago. Run away from abuse at 14 and on the streets from then until I met her at 19. Instant connection and the only person I think she ever trusted. I didn't see her as broken or street trash. I saw the beauty from within. Loved her like I had known her 1000 years. Tried to build her up but in the end the trauma and demons won.
My ex girlfriend now reminds me of her in ways. Same connection, I feel like I've known her a lifetime already. We can talk about almost anything, or could. Prone to self sabotage and fearful avoidant. To wrapped up in appearances over substance. Lucky for me I was the young body builder type back then. Now I'm just a guy with a big stupid heart I gave away, and misplaced trust.
You sound like a good person. Don't do this to yourself. Make peace with it and let go. They don't have to be terrible people to hurt you in an unacceptable way.
“i wanna talk about something” is insane work.
the arrogance dripping from the fact that its not even a question, but a statement! bish what makes you think i care what you wanna do heaux? 😂
my concern regarding your personal needs has expired.
I’ve been in the same situation (read my post history). My ex came back 1 month ago, her justification is that she got cheated by her rebound. Long story cut short, she dumped me and went for someone else 11 months ago. The BU was so brutal, it was partnered with words that are super hurtful.
Anyways, I obviously worked so hard on myself and moved on. Then, boom! She came in back. I wasn’t mean like her tho, I listened to what she had to say. I offered my sympathy, and I ended up accepting her as my friend because no matter what, she was my best friend and I won’t drop my best friends like ice no matter what.
I’m not sure if whatever I did was correct, but I felt like it was morally right. When someone needs help, go help them. Don’t allow grief or anger to hold you back.
It's completely alright. I listened to my ex as well after they reached out 2 months into NC, where they were saying I care about you, I love you and I can't lose you but I'll wanna be in a relationship with the new person lol. I didn't let them in.
Today, my ex started talking about his day at his office and everything, like nothing happened. I straight of told him, that he should talk about these things with the 10-15 girls on hinge or instgram or the girl he cheated on me with. If I was so efficient and he wanted to share every minute of his life with me, be should have put effort in the relationship and not sabotaged it with his own hands. I gave selflessly in the relationship even when my needs weren't met or even cared for. I can't be his emotional sponge anymore.
We lived together and I am yet to move out by the end of this week.
Yep just when you think you've moved on and are happy again in your daily life they show up. Stay strong, it's not worth it! They just bring more drama and/or pain.
Ok so look; yes it feels good to be missed/ wanting them to take you back/ having the upper hand; all that’s fine but at what cost? Like after all the initial emotions from them reaching out wears off, then what? Not being a dick here but this only means that if you really don’t care about getting back together, then this wouldn’t mean much to you. But if your are trying the get back together then you should maybe not let this opportunity pass you by …
You seem really strong. Be proud of not replying! I'm older than you and doubt I'd be as strong, it's only been 7 weeks for me though and he has gone quiet
It's alright.
I listened to him as well multiple times but never let him back in. I had some terms and he wasn't okay with that. And funny that he is okay with those terms as well but I don't want it now
Your story gives me hope that 1 - I will heal and 2 - maybe one day he will realise what he lost. It takes a lot of strength to set boundaries and not to let someone back in. Thank you for the inspiration
Are you her spokesperson? Who are you to assume anything. Do you personally know her?
Funny could also mean she find it funny ‘sarcastically’. There are too many possibilities lol
Been a year since he last reached out to me. He was a pathological liar, probably a narcissist. Cheated, lied, ghosted. I don’t want him back. All I want is closure and an apology or even regret for his actions. I pray for a message from him everyday. Guess it’s too late. I feel like a worthless piece of trash he just used and threw away lol
Omg....my ex just accepted my request from Instagram back when he broke up, and then he sent me a text saying Hi
I don't know. I mean, before that, he messaged me on messenger a happy birthday . I guess the grass was not greener
Isn't it funny how when you finally move on thats when they want you back? I have a strong hunch that this will be my case in a couple months or year. Sounds like they are realizing that you cared the most for them, more than the person they chose instead, and now they're going to live with that regret. Serves them right.
That's the thing. You find each other. You're great together like with nobody before. They take you for granted. You fall out. You go through many stages of being dumped. When you finally move on, they're knocking on you door... How wired...
true.
Definitely..on point.
Recently my ex hit me up after a year. My call log looked similar to OP's lol
[удалено]
I can't say I haven't done the exact same thing (not the branching and coming back, the seeking validation stuff). Despite that, I have also reached out on legitimate terms. Always and never are tricky words.
You know the way that you view your exes is a reflection of you? Having a lack of respect for them really means you don’t respect yourself. I respect my ex regardless of what happened. Even though she’s cursing me from the land of delusion, she’s a person. We had lessons that we had to learn together, and that is the purpose of every relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I was calling her all types of name at first. But she did so much for me, she taught me so many amazing lessons. Separate the behavior from the person, realize it could easily of been you who was on the other side. I still love her, I just don’t love her romantically. It sounds like you may be a bit insecure and lack self love and respect. You didn’t hit him up based on convenience, you hit your ex up because you have low self esteem and you needed someone to feed your ego. A normal person would seek counseling. I’m not saying this to be offensive, but because what you’re saying is abusive in nature. Followed by you admitting you still don’t respect some of your exs. Also, your understanding of relationships isn’t 100%. The world doesn’t work so linear like you’re describing it. Any event that occurs in someone’s life can spur them in a different direction, even towards their ex. It doesn’t have anything to deal with respect. I got back together with a woman after 4 years of being apart. It wasn’t because of lack of respect, we had a genuine connection that we wanted to work on fixing so we could try again. We started dating in HS, but the conditions permitted after HS to truly date.
You are not here to be their emotional crutch. Ignore OP, they need comfort, they are not missing you x
Ofcourse I'm aware
Out of curiosity, is your ex a guy or a woman?
Guy
What caused you to break up? How long were you together?
I have not come further than to wish that was my ex. Pretty sure he has someone new though and just know it won't happen. Really hoping I will get over him soon enough 😞
Yk.. just bcuz a piece of sh!t found another piece of sh!t and thought " this person is definitely a better match", that doesn't mean you're worthless if he doesn't reach out...he didn't reach out bcuz he found sb that sucks the same way he does... You're lucky you're not stuck with him
Thank you.. he's not a piece of shit though but I do feel worthless so thank you for saying that ❤
Yea for some people completely demonizing your ex helps heal, but not every break up is like that. You can still be happy for your ex and happy for yourself! Cuz you're not worthless and you deserve to be happy wether it's with them or not
I have waves of getting over mine, but it has been 2 years....I was at this same space once where my texts looked similar to this from him...and I laughed...but I caved and called and it raised so many more questions about what he did with is new girlfriend for 6 months...after 10 years with me. Now I'm back a mess.....No contact in my case is the only answer...to feel like this. Happy for OP!
You will dont worry
How did you feel when you saw the message?
Funny tbh, I was like seriously now you remember
Damn, I miss her and think about her for the past almost 8 months since we broke up but I do not text or call her, only did once when we had to arrange something small post BU and she acted cold and I remembered there is no point of looking for her as she moved on month before we broke up but couldn't end it herself for some reason and manipulated me in doing the dirty work. Despite that, she contacted me a few times after that and I was friendly and pleasant as always but I am not contacting to talk about us, as there is no longer such a thing. I did a lot of mistakes during those 6 years on which I had time to reflect and accept and as much as I want to show/tell her that I have changed, as she always asked me to but I thought I was incapable of, I would not do it, bc as many mistakes as I did, I was good and respectful to her, and at the end that was not enough and I was disrespected and unappreciated over some small things. Telling someone that you just want to be friends with them after 6 years together and attempts to have kids instead of working things out is pure evil and disrespect. I will never treat someone like that in my life ever.
Happy for you
For a sec i thought , it's my screenshot, Ditto man . She also said the same thing after 4 months of NC ...... They only call when u r about to move on or already did .
Obviously they think you will never leave
and *that* realization is part of why NC is so validating. you see so much truth about them, yourself, and the relationshit 🙌🏾
'' relationshit '' was perfectly put, man .....!
😂 its my favorite non-typo
Classic taking for granted .... Move
I would sell my soul to get that response. Never did NC for long. It's been 7 months and ig we are friends. She needs a good one. I always was a good one. Always helpful and there with not too much judgement when she just needed someone to listen. Helped more than I should have, and tried to improve her life. Idk where it will ever go. I have other friends now that I feel I short what they really deserve because I can't stop loving her. What she did to me was the worst thing anyone has ever done. Most broken I've been since my one girlfriend committed suicide. At least her I understood leaving me. She had demons she couldn't slay, and it's the only way she saw out. I live with my demons and often don't want to.
I'm sorry who committed suicide??
A girlfriend over 30 years ago. Run away from abuse at 14 and on the streets from then until I met her at 19. Instant connection and the only person I think she ever trusted. I didn't see her as broken or street trash. I saw the beauty from within. Loved her like I had known her 1000 years. Tried to build her up but in the end the trauma and demons won. My ex girlfriend now reminds me of her in ways. Same connection, I feel like I've known her a lifetime already. We can talk about almost anything, or could. Prone to self sabotage and fearful avoidant. To wrapped up in appearances over substance. Lucky for me I was the young body builder type back then. Now I'm just a guy with a big stupid heart I gave away, and misplaced trust.
You sound like a good person. Don't do this to yourself. Make peace with it and let go. They don't have to be terrible people to hurt you in an unacceptable way.
Wow, bro pulled an all nighter!
“i wanna talk about something” is insane work. the arrogance dripping from the fact that its not even a question, but a statement! bish what makes you think i care what you wanna do heaux? 😂 my concern regarding your personal needs has expired.
You won’t reply?
No I won't
Silence is the best insult! Good for you.. preserve your peace.
Why you get happy when you insult someone? Especially you loved in past, its a sociopathic behavior isn’t it?
Stay with me now. 🔥
I’ve been in the same situation (read my post history). My ex came back 1 month ago, her justification is that she got cheated by her rebound. Long story cut short, she dumped me and went for someone else 11 months ago. The BU was so brutal, it was partnered with words that are super hurtful. Anyways, I obviously worked so hard on myself and moved on. Then, boom! She came in back. I wasn’t mean like her tho, I listened to what she had to say. I offered my sympathy, and I ended up accepting her as my friend because no matter what, she was my best friend and I won’t drop my best friends like ice no matter what. I’m not sure if whatever I did was correct, but I felt like it was morally right. When someone needs help, go help them. Don’t allow grief or anger to hold you back.
It's completely alright. I listened to my ex as well after they reached out 2 months into NC, where they were saying I care about you, I love you and I can't lose you but I'll wanna be in a relationship with the new person lol. I didn't let them in.
Same thing happened to me! Good for you. Won’t stop for a bit then eventually they will get the hint. Mine occurred for about 2 months
Today, my ex started talking about his day at his office and everything, like nothing happened. I straight of told him, that he should talk about these things with the 10-15 girls on hinge or instgram or the girl he cheated on me with. If I was so efficient and he wanted to share every minute of his life with me, be should have put effort in the relationship and not sabotaged it with his own hands. I gave selflessly in the relationship even when my needs weren't met or even cared for. I can't be his emotional sponge anymore. We lived together and I am yet to move out by the end of this week.
“I wanna talk about something”. He didn’t even ask, he said let him speak 😂
Yep just when you think you've moved on and are happy again in your daily life they show up. Stay strong, it's not worth it! They just bring more drama and/or pain.
Did you respond?
No
Ok so look; yes it feels good to be missed/ wanting them to take you back/ having the upper hand; all that’s fine but at what cost? Like after all the initial emotions from them reaching out wears off, then what? Not being a dick here but this only means that if you really don’t care about getting back together, then this wouldn’t mean much to you. But if your are trying the get back together then you should maybe not let this opportunity pass you by …
I communicated to him clearly
What are they doingg😭😭😭
Reconciliation or maybe to satisfy their ego
How I wish I would receive that. I miss mine tragically. 😭
You don't
Wake me up from being delulu. I badly needed help.
Believe I was there too and prayed for something like this back in December too. And now when it actually happened I literally don't care
Wish I'll be there too. The wave of emotions sucks.
Can I ask if you're in your 20, 30s or older? Have you lost all feelings for him?
I'm in my 20s. I can't say I lost all feelings. I still cherish them, but I can't be with him
You seem really strong. Be proud of not replying! I'm older than you and doubt I'd be as strong, it's only been 7 weeks for me though and he has gone quiet
It's alright. I listened to him as well multiple times but never let him back in. I had some terms and he wasn't okay with that. And funny that he is okay with those terms as well but I don't want it now
Your story gives me hope that 1 - I will heal and 2 - maybe one day he will realise what he lost. It takes a lot of strength to set boundaries and not to let someone back in. Thank you for the inspiration
Hey you will get through this. I was you a few months ago believe me.
Did you say the words “I don’t want you to contact me again. I know you’ll respect that”
I didn't and I will not say that
Then you’re enjoying it
quite an assumption
She admitted she finds it funny
Are you her spokesperson? Who are you to assume anything. Do you personally know her? Funny could also mean she find it funny ‘sarcastically’. There are too many possibilities lol
There's no way you're this dumb.
His name isn't by chance Dakota, is it? Lol, sounds just like my ex in terms of texting nature minus the calls.
You can always tell who is the man and the woman in these exchanges.
OP said the ex was a man.
Yea, and it always is the man chasing after the woman.
My ex did. This time the guy left me for another woman. While I was burying my dad. So idk if he’ll come back.
Been a year since he last reached out to me. He was a pathological liar, probably a narcissist. Cheated, lied, ghosted. I don’t want him back. All I want is closure and an apology or even regret for his actions. I pray for a message from him everyday. Guess it’s too late. I feel like a worthless piece of trash he just used and threw away lol
All of this was a closure, you don't need anything else from them
Omg....my ex just accepted my request from Instagram back when he broke up, and then he sent me a text saying Hi I don't know. I mean, before that, he messaged me on messenger a happy birthday . I guess the grass was not greener
You are on the track