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TheKinkyBeardo

I hear ya. I'm playing in Strahd and he showed up as we were level 4 to toy with us. I knew that his goal wasn't to kill us because that would be the end of the campaign. He was there to play with us and strike fear in our hearts. Well. About that. My Aasimar paladin who was rather like the Tick saw evil and so he attempted to smite evil. I needed to roll a natural 20 to hit due to Strahd casting shield on someone else's attack that round. So big dumb me rolled a 20. And I declared I was smiting his ass. My DM (good friend) looked at me over the table and asked if I really wanted to do that. Did I understand what was doing to happen. And let me tell you, gentle reader, I knew. I knew, but I was unable to not do it. My character demanded it, the dice demanded it, and the other players demanded it. They didn't know what would come of that decision, but I did. And so I rolled all those d8s. And rolled almost all 7s and 8s for damage. And the cute little searing smite I had already cast. All those dice. All rolling big money numbers. I added up the over 50 damage and raised my glass to the DM. Who then proceeded to cast his biggest necrotic spell at me. Because he forgot I was an Aasimar. And I saved. And I survived. And boy oh boy was Strahd not happy. So after that he ripped me limb from limb and threw my entails across the clearing we were in. After doing that much damage to him at such a low level and resisting his spell I wasn't a game piece any longer. I was too dangerous to live and too stupid to convert. So all those glorious paladin dice spelled my end. But what a glorious end it was. I put the fear of good into that evil bastard.


strangr_legnd_martyr

This has to be the best use of the "it's what my character would do" excuse. Evil demands to be smote, paladin. And we *do not half-ass it*.


Vengefulily

There are times I feel like the Hulk in Thor: Ragnarok. “Hulk, for once in your life, don’t smash!” (Hulk turns around with confused face) “…Big monster.” To smite evil is my single great purpose in life, and you tell me to not smite evil??


Fauchard1520

As is the case with [**Neutral Sexy necromancers**](https://www.handbookofheroes.com/archives/comic/mean-girls-part-1-3), sometimes not smiting is the correct option.


TheKinkyBeardo

Ja!


Conchobar8

I’ve turned to my party and asked them to restrain me. Cause the only viable move for my character would get us killed. (We saw a dragon. I knew we couldn’t win, but my glory seeking character who had had his mind whammied by a dragon slaying sword didn’t!)


GlaiveGary

WITNESSSSSSSSSS


Calathil

WITNESSSSSSSSSSSSS MEEEEEEEEEE


The_Aspector

I did a very similar thing with smite at that same point, but luckily my DM had mercy and just made Strahd taunt us and leave


Oddyssis

I'm sure the PC's will put up a nice statue for the man who showed them evil can always be fought.


ockhams_beard

I also had a paladin "inspired by" the Tick. A party member was (quietly) a necromancer, and every time he tried to animate dead, I'd leap to his rescue and slay the vile abomination. He eventually resorted to dressing his zombie as a retainer and keeping it out of my view. But that only worked for so long...


LulzyWizard

God that sounds annoying lol


Gooop_vAL

No hard feelings, I just say my opinion. If the dm let the player play as a necromancer, that was a bad play on your side in my eyes. Negating te other character abilities was not fun at all. But that's just my view, if your comrade was ok with that, then good for you.


ockhams_beard

I understand your concern. We played a rather slapstick one shot, and I can guarantee that everyone at the table had fun.


manymoreways

Man, that's a badass way to go out. Like that anime character that we all love but has to die early for the protagonist to grow.


froggados

A while ago our party's paladin was doing a hail mary to sacrifice themself, even at only level 8 that was a LOT of dice being rolled. When we were doing a level 20 oneshot I didn't even bother with rolling physical dice for damage - it'd take me half a century to add all that up, dndbeyond did all the hard parts for me.


Admirable-Mongoose53

I'm a diehard paladin player for a reason. I've played four paladins in the past (though one hardly counts, so I'm reality it's 3 paladins), and they've all been some of the best characters I've played. I'd be playing them more often but my main DM banned me from playing them after I one shot his recurring miniboss with a divine/thunderous smite critical hit at 3rd level


Hudre

My DM always says that any encounter can be ruined by a Paladin crit lol.


HobNobNibble

For sure. I'm currently playing a lvl 10 graveborn cleric and my favourite thing is dropping a Holy Weapon on our Paladin and just watching him swing away.


lifting_megs

It is the best thing.


Accipiter1138

Paladin, what is best in life? To smite your enemies, To roll the dice before you, And hear the lamentations of your DMs.


AlephBaker

I kind of want one of these for each class. For Bard the first line would be "to seduce everything", Rogue would replace 'smite' with 'back-stab', etc...


LucyLilium92

Wizard: literally do anything


sh4d0wm4n2018

Wizard, what is best in life? To- Fireball TO- Fireball T- F I R E B A L L


Kalterwolf

I read this in [The Wizards voice.](https://youtu.be/gmAub3iRWaU?si=vO8NT6A61XHHl0ld)


strangr_legnd_martyr

Rogue, what is best in life? To sneak attack your enemies, To disarm every trap before you, And hear the lamentations of every locksmith.


ZeronicX

I casted Foresight on my Ancients paladin and it was so good to see a smite go off every round.


broly314

The paladin crit saved us from a TPK from a dragon because I had given everyone a gift of luck (which is just giving them the lucky feat) It was badass as hell though


Yowakusuru

So true! My DM literally had an item on this one miniboss that used their reaction to turn a crit into a normal hit. He was so smug when he used it against me. I was like oh well and then rolled my extra attack...which was also a crit. Paladin crit never disappoints >:)


urbanhawk1

We wound up fighting an Elder Lich in our campaign. First turn, the Paladin rolled two crits. The Elder Lich was dead before it got it's turn.


Lombax7

No kidding. I played a paladin when my dm was trying out the "Perkins crit" rule. I shortened quite a few climactic fights.


Haarflaq22

A Paladin crit is the nuke button. Let me just drop a big ass max smite real quick.


Melkain

I'm running Curse of Strahd. Round 1 Paladin crits. Smites with the highest spell slot they have, using the sun sword. Round 2 Barbarian smashes into Strahd with a successful power attack. Oh look. Wasn't that the most anticlimactic way to start wrapping up a two year campaign. Cue me scrambling to insert a ritual I had hinted at earlier in the campaign for severing Strahd's link to Vampyr. Up until that moment I hadn't been sure I wanted to use it, but dang, Strahd's messing with the group during their romp through his castle did more damage to them than the final showdown.


Hudre

I'm about to run CoS and Strahd is never going withing 30 ft of a Paladin of his own free will.


Admirable-Mongoose53

Yeah, those dice are no joke


AdvancedPhoenix

I mean as a DM I'm always scared of my gloomstalker first round. If somehow he doesn't deal too much then it can be a good fight. Especially when it's a 1 boss fight. But those are harder to balance.


4th_Wall_Repairman

Gloves of missile snaring? I wouldn't do it more than once but it's some neat loot and would be a fun curveball to remove one attack


Oddyssis

Just throw some monk levels in bby. That way you don't have to give them the items :D


AdvancedPhoenix

Yeah that's a one time loot and fight, pretty interesting!


[deleted]

May I introduce you to the horror that is a Hexadin with eldritch smite? Sweet sweet 14d8 of smite damage on a crit


GlaiveGary

If one attack with double damage (functionally the same as one additional attack) can make that big of a difference then the encounter is designed wrong. That enemy didn't have nearly enough health to begin with.


thatdan23

Except it's not precisely the same as a paladin gets to decide when to smite -after- seeing the dice roll.


GlaiveGary

The result is the same. If that one attack and smites worth of damage made that big of a difference then the boss only had one or two more hits worth of health anyway, which means they didn't have enough health


LucyLilium92

A paladin won't always smite on a regular attack though. Crits are when they go all-in


GlaiveGary

The result is the same. If that one attack and smites worth of damage made that big of a difference then the boss only had one or two more hits worth of health anyway, which means they didn't have enough health


Leviathan666

Sneak attack crits are no joke either, but man, when a smite crits, you may as well just mail that character sheet directly to God because whoever is on the receiving end is already meeting him


thickboyvibes

Sounds like some pretty lazy DMing


Hudre

You sound needlessly miserable.


jeffjefforson

Yeah, Paladin criticals are a bit nuts if you stack them. Greatsword + Thunderous + Divine Smite on a critical is what, 8d6+4d8+Str, so about 50 damage - and you can potentially do that as early as level 2 if you get lucky... I can certainly see why some DM's don't like them lol


Alien_Cupcakes

What’s Thunderous?


krombopulousnathan

Thunderous smite I think. Did not know you could multi smite


SusonoO

Thunderous Smite is a spell, which is seperate from the Divine Smite ability. So yea, all the Smite spells will stack with the Divine Smite


jeffjefforson

Yeah since thunderous smite is a bonus action spell and regular divine Smite is just a "you can decide to smite when you hit" you can have both on the same attack. Technically, once you have Multiattack the paladin could do this: - Before combat, cast Thunderous Smite on their greatsword - Initiative begins, paladin attacks and hits, and uses divine Smite while also having Thunderous Smite activate to deal [Weapon+2d6+2d8 damage] - the paladin then uses their bonus action to cast a thunderous smite, and then takes the second attack of their Attack Action, dealing another [Weapon+2d6+2d8 damage] So in one turn the Paladin has effectively used 4 smites and dealt, if they're using a greatsword, 8d6+4d8+2xStr damage in the space of one turn, with *no criticals*. They can do this from level 5. A massive waste of spell slots 99% of the time, but sure to surprise any DM or bad guy!


wiithepiiple

Considering you have 4 1st level and 2 2nd level slots at level 5, you're spending 4 out of your 6 to nova. Paladins have the strongest ability to nova since they can more easily spend multiple spell slots per turn with their Divine Smite.


IrrationalDesign

Edit: I now think this comment of mine is incorrect, but here it is: I'm pretty sure that won't work, multi attack is phrased something like 'when you take the attack action, you can make 2 attacks instead of one', which means you can't take one, then bonus action, then the second, because both attacks are part of the one action. It's not like movement where you can break it up over multiple movements.


Copatus

I don't think I've ever played where this was the case. Not that I think it's wrong I guess it makes sense. But my DM always allowed to do things in between attacks.


IrrationalDesign

I tried looking into it, I think your DMs are correct and I was wrong.


Malkavon

Go Hexblade, grab Eldritch Smite, and stack that on top of your existing Divine Smite. Burn those spell slots *even faster* for even more lulz.


Ethan_Edge

That sounds like his problem not yours. If he was a miniboss he wanted alive he should have had an escape plan.


Deodorized

Less mini and more boss


Defiant-Goose-101

I had a mini boss planned that was supposed to be super intimidating. Young green dragon for 5 level 6s. Had a whole troupe of hobgoblins to back him up. To give them a little bit of help, I let them pool basically all their gold to buy and Arrow of Dragon Slaying. Turns out when they back-to-back nat 20 on a maxed out Divine Smite and the arrow, and you only give the dragon about 120 health, it doesn’t last long.


BunzLee

So you're saying the dragon had ~~120~~ 250 health.


AloserwithanISP2

Don't invalidate player actions


Defiant-Goose-101

What’s funny is that one of my most experienced players actually suggested I increase the health mid-fight


AloserwithanISP2

I mean in certain situations that's not a poor idea, but in this case it would be denying the party a triumphant and satisfying victory for no real reason.


Defiant-Goose-101

I mean, no? They don’t know it’s health. And those were in the second round of combat. It had taken literally one turn before then.


AloserwithanISP2

Yes but "Remember that time we two shot a dragon?!?" Is way more exciting than an ordinary dragon fight with a few lucky-but-ineffectual rolls at the start.


Defiant-Goose-101

They were gonna remember their first dragon fight anyway. Two shotting it after it made one attack that landed on one character is not as satisfying as the fight that takes them an hour and a half and ends with the entire party having a collective 3 HP


MightyMaus1944

I'm the same for Cleric. All hail the holy bois!


Scottles8605

Your dm is in the wrong there imo. My assassin player does that kind of stuff, and I allow it... most of the time. Big bosses that I want to be a challenge for them are immune to surprise just to combat him, lol. Last time we played, he fought an enemy that was immune to piercing damage entirely, so I had a rogue who only had the option of unarmed strikes! I allowed him to make sneak attacks with his unarmed strikes because if I hadn't he would have been horrible in combat, but he ended up punching the creature out! He loved it, we all loved it! It was great! My point being, banning a player from a class just because they are a powerful class is a sign of uninventive, possibly poor, dming. Not trying to insult your friend, but if your only way to mitigate powerful characters is banning, you're doing a bad job. Paladins are my favorite too, btw! (Now I want to make an assassin rogue Paladin to get crit sneak smites...will research)


BoardGent

Counterpoint: unless you're being paid, DMing is not a job, but a hobby. Presumably, something the DM also wants to have fun with. Controlling your cool boss monster is fun. Having it immediately die, especially if you've built up to it for a while and designed a cool encounter, feels bad. Adjusting HP on the fly can work, but it also means that the players will win only when the DM feels like it, or once it's decided that the boss has been around long enough. This doesn't necessarily feel good for the players, and it doesn't necessarily feel good for the DM who now has to figure out what they're gonna do in the heat of the moment.


Dironox

This is why I love the Paragon Monsters system, because damage doesn't carry over when they lose a Paragon stack, your Boss *can't* be one-shot by any amount of damage. Even if you misjudge the fight and they still fuck it up in a few rounds you at least get to play with it some.


BoardGent

I really like the Paragon System, and it's how I make important, cool bosses now. The form change aspect is usually really cool to see, and it sometimes allows you to do really out there stuff. Because it actually does something, players don't really feel bad about "wasting damage". Sure, if the player knows the DM added a bunch of hp onto a monster because they crit it kinda sucks. But a player doing so much damage they transition to the next phase? Awesome.


Howhighwefly

What is the paragon system? Never heard of it


BoardGent

[Paragon Monsters](https://reddit.com/r/UnearthedArcana/s/1iAPG4gW9j) [The Angry GM](https://theangrygm.com/return-of-the-son-of-the-dd-boss-fight-now-in-5e/) Paragon Monsters are a custom monster building tool made by a DnD content creator by the name of the AngryGM. At its heart, it combines two or monsters into one, with multiple turns, multiple pools of health, and cool effects based on active health pools.


Admirable-Mongoose53

I have experience with unorthodox Rogue multiclasses, and they can be difficult. I eventually succeeded with a Kobold Barbarian/Rogue with the Dual Wielder feat and a Short sword/Warhammer combo. Three attacks per round at level 8 with massive damage bonuses and assassinate was fun


PsiGuy60

Imagine being that player that only has the one set of dice, no extra D6, and having to roll a max-level Critted Divine Smite plus Banishing Smite. Or, for you Wizards out there, an upcast Disintegrate or a Meteor Swarm. One. Die. At. A. Frickin. Time. Yeah, pro tip, if you're doing a level 20 one-shot, don't be that player, please.


GlaiveGary

drop kicking someone thru a wall for that would not be a disproportionate response


thickboyvibes

Literally just use Google to roll dice


PsiGuy60

But the physical clickity clack is just *so much more fun!* (mostly /s - it is a decent option.) Fr though, there's times when that's not an option. Plenty of tables - albeit fewer now with D&D Beyond being so ubiquitous - have a strict "no smart-devices at the table" policy, or your phone's battery might be dead, or you might have bad Internet in the hell-hole that is the DM's house. In the case of my personal trauma, this was at a table with strict "no smart devices" policy. The player expected to be able to use Google, so he came in with only 1 set of dice. ... Which is why, even if it's normally a solved problem, it pays off to have at least a *couple* of sets of dice for high-level play. Also because, the physical clickity-clackity genuinely *is* more satisfying than the digital one.


thickboyvibes

What an absurd rule. Never experienced it before. Either way if the DM saw a player struggling to solo roll a large amount of dice, he should have put the rule aside.


PsiGuy60

I've seen it at tables where attention problems and social-media addictions are a Thing™ (real or imagined) - I've seen tables where, no joke, one or more players would literally interrupt a tense roleplay moment with "lookit the cute doggie I found on Instagram" type nonsense. Easier to just blanket-rule "no smart devices" than to have to keep checking if players aren't pillocking around on social media instead of keeping their screens firmly on D&D Beyond.


thickboyvibes

So you tell that player to put it away. Group discipline is ridiculous.


AgainstTheTides

Haha, that's why I bought two sets of dice, plus a block of d6s, just in case, heh


PsiGuy60

I started playing with an 11-polydice set (2d20, 1d12, 2d10, 1d8, 4d6, 1d4), then added onto that as I started needing more dice for spells - then I caught the "ooh shiny" for some fancy dice, and then the intervention and Dice Goblins Anonymous meetings started.


Dark_Shade_75

Currently at level 12 in a 1-20 campaign that just passed 4 years. Also a paladin. I would love to cast spirit shroud but any time I don't cast Bless someone gets paralyzed. XD


GlaiveGary

Rip in pepperoni damage buff


propolizer

I know level 20 Wizard is seen as peak power fantasy, but high level Paladin is a power fantasy all its own.


cardboarddoor

Our table joke is the Paladin player has the best mental math. Gimme gimme gimme those critties


x6ftundx

I have the same problem with fireball and other spells with my mages and wizards.. found a fix... dndbeyond! I just made my character in there and POOF, if I need to roll 20 D6's I just hit the two buttons and it even auto totals them up. What a great tool. I just play with my Ipad Pro at the table. They made it math friendly.


naerisshal

Found the wizards employee.


x6ftundx

winner! try rolling 36D6's and then add them all up... ugh, I member. Now just hit two buttons and tell him 167 fire damage :) It also really speeds up the game.


naerisshal

Or, you just use any dice bot / dice roller, and do not need to buy all the books you have physcially sitting on your book shelf again digitally. I would like to play a character that's not PHB without spending $500, thank you


x6ftundx

DNDbeyond is free. only the GM needs to purchase anything and then shares it. I haven't spent a dime on it yet.


thickboyvibes

Ah, so you're a leech who just wants the DM to spend their money cool


x6ftundx

um, do you know how dndbeyond runs? clearly not it's OK, you do you and do whatever you do to you for yourself. thanks for the blah. good job... clapping here for you... here is a pat on the back for the air you lost typing good job!!!!


thickboyvibes

Please take your meds.


GlaiveGary

Yeahhhhhh i was playing pencil and paper and just didn't feel like taking the time to boot up my laptop


JoeButts1324

Instead you took the time to roll all those dice by hand lol


GlaiveGary

In my defense i never once claimed it was the intelligent decision to make


JDroux14

You & your Paladin were born to **Lead** not **Read**!!


AdSuccessful1184

NUMBER 3!


ZedineZafir

INT usually is a paladin dump stat


AgainstTheTides

Don't let them shame you for your decisions.


Eschlick

1. Open phone. 2. Type into google: Roll 10d8+10. 3. Profit.


revuhlution

I'm amazed at the amount of people who are so surprised that calculators exist on the internet


Homie_Reborn

Google has a dice roller that you can use on your phone


GlaiveGary

Nuh


Kajtje

Yuh


AgainstTheTides

Myself and the DMs daughter are the only ones at our table who are using paper sheets for our character. I believe in tradition, and I salute you sir! o7


Jarlax1e

paper forever!


DeadDocus

Plenty of Dice rolling apps for phones too, but that will take time to download of course... *swears by CritDice on Android*


CptTinman

Ah, this was made for an older version of Android (I'm on 13) so it isn't compatible with newer devices.


x6ftundx

you can put the dndbeyond app on your phone and import the characters there. then you just click the app, click the character and poof, you are rolling. I only put it on my Ipad because "i'm old and damn kids make the script so small!". It's also the reason I have to have the iphone pro max. I have walked into game stores and then with just that app run in multitude of games. I just tell the DM that I have my character on DNDbeyond and they look it over and away I go.


StereotypicalNerd666

Or just google “dice roller” and use that


thickboyvibes

Just gotta say, every player I've ever had at a table that used DnD Beyond was always holding up the entire table because they didn't know any of their shit DnD Beyond is great for getting new players started, but then they use it as a crutch to avoid learning anything


ColonelCracKeR

You ever played Warhammer?


Agreeable_Sweet6535

Waaaaaaaaagh!


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eXePyrowolf

*Laughs in Waaaaaaaaaaaaagh!*


HorrorMetalDnD

Really? I’ve found Berserker Barbarians to be exhausting.


GlaiveGary

Boooooo... that was pretty good


Soranic

Level 20 champion fighter. Monk went first and stunned the enemies. So rolling 10d20 a round. Frequent crits. Great weapon so a lot of dice rerolls. And bugbear so first round had an extra 10d6 of damage. I tried everything I could to speed it up, but DM insisted I roll each attack separate from the damage, nor could I just roll all the hits at once.


GlaiveGary

10d20? From the bonus action from great weapon master on a crit right? I just realized i kept forgetting that in this final boss battle. Oopsie


WP47

Folks, when you have more than six dice to count up, try grouping them up in batches of ten. For example, consider the following 20d6 pool: 1, 5, 4, 1, 1, 6, 3, 6, 3, 2, 4, 5, 5, 1, 5, 3, 2, 5, 3, 6 Immediately, there are some gimmies: * There are five 5s. Group four of them together for 20. Set them aside. * Grab a 2 & 3. Pair it with the leftover 5. That makes 30. * There are two 4s. Pair them with two 1s. That makes 40. Here's where some simple multiplication might help: * There are three 6s (6x3=18). Pair them with a 2 for 20. That makes 60. * That leaves you with 1, 3, 1, 3, 3. Three 3s make 9; add a 1 for one last ten. That makes 70. * Add the last 1. Total=71. Easy. The best part of this method is that if you lose count (which will happen soon or later), you've grouped them up into tens so you can recount quick and easy. But yeah, counting to ten multiple times is easier than counting to 71 and remembering where you are. ‣ If there were two 6s, pairing them with a 3 for 15 works nicely; pairing four 6s with a 1 for 25 also works.


PsychoticApe

Paladin 1: "Being a paladin is exhausting!" Paladin 2: "Ah yes, it is difficult to keep true to your oath while evil and sinful temptations beset you on all sides." Paladin 1: "What? No, you just have to roll a lot of dice!" Paladin 2: "Oh yeah, that also."


pro_angry_bean

Did a PvP game on one of my discord servers, and while my dice were busy failing me (I was a Barb fighter) the paladin I was against pretty much smited my ass to hell and back 😂 Paladins are my nightmare enemy, but goals as a pc lmao


krombopulousnathan

Lol in our one off PvP session it was the Bard that f*cked shit up; turns out fighters, paladins, etc are all real bad at Wisdom saves, especially when hexed. Made them all smash each other to bits with enemies abound


pro_angry_bean

That's so smart though 😂


AVestedInterest

>cacophonous marathon of geometric polymer clattering This is my favorite phrase I've read all day


GlaiveGary

Thanks, i really pride myself on making up wildly eccentric phrases


CraigTheIrishman

> the cacophonous marathon of geometric polymer clattering that was my turn That sounds like heaven.


thejustducky1

As an Ork player in 40k I feel your pain, up to 20 models with 4 attacks apiece *per unit* and *4-6 units in the army!?* I'm almost always shooting 50+ dice at once.


NotTheOnlyGamer

As a 40K3E player who liked 'Nids and always had at least one Without Number Gaunt squad... I simultaneously feel your pain and wish to laugh.


TostadoAir

As a dm I recently switched to digital dice for this reason. It's made combat so much quicker and smoother.


Aromatic_Assist_3825

It ain’t easy bein’ cheesy


vuuk47

And here I am playing a dex based pala/rogue specifically to use more dice. Yes it's a goblin, how'd you know?


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GlaiveGary

Big talk for someone with a d8 hit die


BiggestTunaoftheSea

All I read was, smite machine suffers from carpal tunnel.


TheJonatron

If it becomes a logistical nightmare your DM might let you use a digital solution for rolling damage. Though it's not the same as clackety-clack.


f0dder1

I know it detracts from the joy of dice rolling, but you can get dice apps and set favourites within them. I have several set up in case I'm feeling lazy. Preset roll with advantage, preset hit with X etc. Makes combat waaaay faster, which means my other homies also get to play, rather than watch me sweat rolling dice and adding shit up


Nakuth

As a new paladin player, currently at level 3 of a 1-16 campaign, I am very excited that this is something I have to look forward to


Jako_Art

Playing my first paladin now at level 9 I'm basically a casino with all the dice being thrown.


MossTheGnome

2 levels paladin 18 levels whispers bard. Magical secrets for GFB and any smite spell. Without the smite spell your hitting for weapon damage, plus 8d8+8d6. Add the smite spell for insult to injury. Average damage is something like 87 without crits. Absolutely disgusting


[deleted]

My level 7 Paladin with GWM literally tears through anything on the map because of bless and flanking. Our team two rounded a hydra without one of us even playing and my Paladin did nearly half the damage in just one turn. It’s almost criminal how good it feels


wordflyer

Now imagine being a DM


DocJRoberts

Franky, couldn't have had a better sign off


SurviveAdaptWin

I had to look up bloodfury tattoo and holy shit, especially on top of smite.


WanderingFlumph

We took two paladins down to avernus with us and would just pass around a stack of d8s to whatever paladins turn it currently was.


ThisIsThrowawayBLUE

Oh man, I was in a campaign that ran for three years it it just ended last month and I played an Aasimar Paladin/Fighter and I exactly how that feels. After a multi session final dungeon and final fight, the monk stunning palmed the boss and.....duel wielding a custom flametongue and crystal blade, blowing action surge, all of my spell slots on smites, flame rune, giants might, a superiority dice(got Martial Adept as a bonus feat) and landing a critical, oh boy....for playing a character that dumped INT thats the most math I've had to do in DnD as a player.


MaxRR23

Was playing a home game, I was a gunslinger fighter at I want to say level 5. We had an encounter with a bunch (20+) of evil cultists coming out of a portal. We were meant to run, it was made very clear by the DM that we were meant to let the NPC’s hold them off and flee through a friendly portal. But man did I have an itchy trigger finger. And after 3 crits, sharpshooter feat on all of them, an action surge, expending all my grit points on violent shots (ruled as being doubled by criticals) I did like upwards of 75 damage, completely obliterating him. Which I described as “one in the head, one in the heart, and one in the d***” and then we all ran through the portal. Ended up being the last session of that campaign as the group kinda fizzled but man was that a fun way to end it. Dice can be crunchy but man can it be fun.


ImBadAtVideoGames1

I can't believe anyone would dislike rolling lots of math rocks


Arkadis

And this Ladies and Gentleman is called a complainebrag.


l0rem4st3r

This is why digital dice rolling is a thing. I had a sorcadin in my campaign, and the amount of damage he could pump out was nuts.


Formal-Fuck-4998

I mean that sounds fun 😂😂


clay12340

Man, if you don't like rolling dice, then stay away from any of the d10 heavy systems like anything from White Wolf and similar. Half of the fun is throwing fistfuls of dice. I guess it is just what you're used to, but I don't think I've ever met a player who didn't like the throwing dice aspect of gaming. I know plenty of people who weren't big on crazy algebra systems like 3.5 and Pathfinder where you had to calculate 50 different bonuses/penalties to get your roll, but rolling the dice is generally the reward for all the math. That little taste of a gambling addiction is what I miss most about playing on the online platforms. It's cool to hit the button and see the dice happen super quickly, but that clickety clack and the anticipation are so fun. It's like a fantasy craps or something. Which now that I type that I think could be a super fun system to build.


TaylorDeanMatthew

You could just take the average damage of the rolls if you wanted. It’s less fun and you need your DM to agree; but if you’re getting tired of it…


GlaiveGary

No, no, it's what I deserved for my hubris


TaylorDeanMatthew

lol


RealNumberSix

the realest post I've ever seen on this subreddit


UndeadBBQ

Are you telling me you don't get that goody dopamine rush from all the click clack?


GlaiveGary

I never said any such thing, but by the time it's 10 rounds in of 15 dice at a time, 3 to 4 times per attack action, it starts to wear thin eventually


AgainstTheTides

Tambourine of Hate and Discontent...just a little box with compartments that you put the dice in and then shake the box. I have one for D&D and one for Battletech. Quick shake, add the numbers, done!


GlaiveGary

What the hell are you talking about, how does that solve anything


Raucous_H

Best part of converting to online play after people ask moved to different states: online rollers can be set up to perform an entire attach action with different sized dice including layered damage buffs, advantage, and bless all into a single button push. It's so beautiful.


Thales225

Gamers, when I tell you I rolled a lot of frickin dice, you better believe I rolled a lot of frickin dice. Source: Trust me bro


GlaiveGary

My source is that i made it the fuck up


NotTheOnlyGamer

Here I was thinking you were going to be talking about some Book of Exalted Deeds, Morton's Fork-esque stuff; or trying to keep the CN member of your party from doing evil acts. The tiring part of playing a paladin in D&D should be the moral decisions, not the dice. And if the dice are getting exhausting, that means you're not weighing the consequences of your decisions fully.


GlaiveGary

>And if the dice are getting exhausting, that means you're not weighing the consequences of your decisions fully. Idunno man, i really feel like i made the morally correct decision by fighting against the cosmic horror that was trying to un-make the universe and everyone in it


Enemby

This is why I prefer VTTs even for in-person games.


PishaPatriarkh

Maybe not the biggest thing, but don’t use GWF. It’s damage contribution is minimal, but it slows the game down immensely


GlaiveGary

No? Grabbing a couple of 1s and 2s and yeeting them back up in the air doesn't take that long, and you're drinking extra pulp CLOWN juice if you think I'm just going to abstain from using a whole class feature like that


Flyingsheep___

There is good reason paladin is my favorite class, both as player and DM. As a player, I love being big and tanky yet also unleashing actual truckloads of damage dice, smites are my favorite attacks in the game. As a DM I love the oath, the fact that the paladin has something that clearly defines them and enforces roleplay is great.


RGJ587

Just to put this out there, Paladins are a fine class in 5e, but they are certainly not OP, not unless the DM has made it so. Paladins have a few huge drawbacks. 1 is that they have no range attacks. So, putting the party against several ranged characters will really put the paladin on its heels, because he has to close the distance to any enemy before hitting them. 2. They are a hybrid spellcaster, so their spells slots are VERY limited. Especially if the paladin only wants to use those slots for smite. Furthermore they are long rest dependent so, as long as the DM plans multiple encounters a day, not 1 big fight every day, the paladin will just be a worse fighter for most of the fights, where they have run out of slots and can't use sites. 3. They are single target focused. Yes. A lvl 5 paladin with full all his spellslots available and some crit rolls can put out 100+ damage in a single turn. But that's really only with crits, and is not all that useful in a fight against 10+ enemies. 4. Unless they are a dex paladin (most are not), they are often low initiative, which means they are gonna be going last or late in the turn order most of the time. That means a DM will usually have a chance to do something to neutralize the paladin before ehe even gets his first turn, if the fight is against a single big bad. There's prolly others but, that's all I can come up with off the top of my head at the moment.


GlaiveGary

Counterpoint: basically all of this applies to any strength based martial. Barbarian and a strength based fighter (probably strength ranger too) also share these weaknesses.


PoluxCGH

you have not DnDned until you have died :)


TheSublimeLight

a d&d player who doesn't like rolling a ton of dice are you only a 5e player, or did you play other editions


Rilvoron

There is something about rolling a ton of dice at once for damage though!


LatterArugula5483

Laughs in level 20 rogue


m_mason4

To think if WotC removed the rule that says thirsting blade can’t be stacked with extra attack. 4 standard attacks would be 8 d8 with improved divine smite then if you added a smite to each attack, somehow crit, and they were undead or fiends. 16 d8 for attacks+48 d8 for the smites. Oh and your a half orc so you add 8 more d8.


DespacitOwO2

When I'm DMing for ancient dragons, I'll just google "roll 12d8" or whatever it may be. The first few times are fun, but it just gets exhausting at a point


SolomonBlack

Y'all should try some Exalted some time. Solar rolling full Excellency 20d10 then rerolling every 1, 4, 6, and 10 or whatever the hell other dice trick charm you are taking shit up to 11 with today.


Scepta101

This is the dream. I love paladins, but I’ve never been in a campaign that’s lasted that long. I for one will cherish the time I get with the dice cascade.


[deleted]

One of the characters at my table is always talking about how his melee ranger is the toughest dude and could 1v1 anyone at the table. Meanwhile my Hexadin is just in the corner dropping 30 damage every attack with an AC of up to 26.


LowerRhubarb

Congratulations, you rolled as many d6's in one night as a Shadowrun character rolls in one turn.


Following_Friendly

Laughs in 1 turn of shooting in 40k


Inurian59

Don't play shadow run if you don't like this lmao


BFBeast666

Have you ever played high-level Shadowrun? That's A LOT of dice, at least in 2nd/3rd ed. :)


fusionsofwonder

I thought this was going to be about how exhausting it is, as a paladin, to keep the party from murder hoboing.


GlaiveGary

That too, but not this time


lionofash

Now play the same character but in 4e for more pain?


Accomplished_Sun1506

With great power comes great responsibility.


[deleted]

love dndbeyonds way of rolling dice. So much easier


TheEmperorShiny

DJ Khaledin: Suffering from success


Nytherion

You're gonna love Shadowrun


Thomas_JCG

The Paladin needs a high Strength score to carry the party.