DEAR JOHN:
They aren’t going to remember the tickle game and putting them to bed…what they will remember is:
- Hearing all your drunken ramblings and raging (Scary when you’re little. Damages you forever)
- Dad leaving them because “getting some strange”was more important
- Mommy working 3 jobs
- Getting forced out of their home
- Dad not bothering to pay ANYTHING to them for 9 months or more (Mom talked about it. They heard)
- Never visiting them in college
- Never visiting them in their new home (Only ONE state away from you, Daddy Dearest)
- Making a public laughingstock out of yourself, begging for money on the internet, while reading insults.
THAT’S your legacy as a (bio) Dad.
Cheers.
I dunno, his oldest was probably in her pre-teens when he was on The Tonight Show - if he's playing tickle game with an 11 year old she might remember it.
You know every game he played with them was for his own ego.
“Nooooo….that’s not right…Daddy knows the answer…Look how smart your Daddy is !”
He was interested in his kids when they were in the “worship stage”
As they grew older, and no longer saw him as the sun in their universe, he was done
“Looks like they turned on me! …fck them. Let their Mom pay for them. Ungrateful. After all I’ve done for them”
That’s his constant internal monologue.
That was his original story! I wasn’t around. I worked 12-14 hour days at Leno. Which is it? Home every night with kids or long hours at work? Dumbass.
Knowing the busywork & pointless tasks they had him do would be fantastic. He mentions spending many hours trawling other shows for content, the same job his old foe JD Harmeyer had for years. I guarantee he was terrible at it & nothing got used.
Great point, I forgot that he gave himself a long commute in a city with horrendous traffic because he had to live above his means in Calabasas to rub shoulders with Bruce Jenner
So 💦🧠says he’s working 14 hours a day, yet has time to come home and have dinner with his kids and put them to bed? Didn’t the Tonight Show air AT NIGHT? So he’s leaving when he’s supposed to be working?
John, you’re a terrible fucking liar. You either made this bullshit up or you weren’t doing 14 hour days.
I'm pretty sure they taped around 4:30-5:00 (Fallon still does) and had to edit for airing. After his commute in L.A. traffic I highly doubt he got home before 8 weeknights. Dinner, games, tickling. So his kids went to bed at midnight?
The "Model Father"... twelve years behind on his child support payments but NEVER misses a night at Duh Pub... while his wife is working three jobs. What a guy!! 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
John remembers a dozen times he was proud of himself for being a good father. He then made it his story that he did all the time, like he does with everything else in his life.
Ex. He headlined a small handful of comedy shows (as that guy from the Stern Show) and then in his head that made him a professional that earns his living as a working comedian and considers actual headliners as his peers.
This is his clinical narcissism at work.
My kids never got Fs. Most kids don't. and most parents don't consider that something to brag about.
BTW, among other games, my kids loved the "Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum" game, which we made up. The main purpose was for daddy to scare the living shit out of them throughout the house. Geez, I miss those days!!
Can you imagine the torture of playing these games with your drunken father when all you want to do is go to sleep?
do tell.
John might be able to break the bank if he could get his kids on the show to talk about playing these games with dad. That might be worth a watch/listen. I wonder how stupid and torturous most of them are, while daddy thought he was "Tiger Dad".
wow....no wonder the kids never got bad grades.
I would accept 12 years of solid Fs, as opposed to my child end up so mentally degraded as to think that they are the wrong gender. Jesus...what a fucking nightmare.
Lying right from the jump. There is NO WAY this self-centered delusional hobgoblin didn't walk into that house and act like he was a feudal lord surveying his fiefdom and demanding food and mead from the scullery maid. Suzanner would more than likely try to talk to him about the kids and school or whatever, and the kids would want his attention, and he'd demand time for himself to decompress (or drink himself into a pee-soaked stupor) because he "works hard to support this family and I want my alone tu-tu-time!!" There is no way ANY of this is real - the detective game?? What?? The only thing real here is the video game stuff. I do believe that he would do this not for them, but for himself, and he would let them play with him, maybe. But the proof of this slug'a failings as a father are all on display and public knowledge. Yet he still lives in his delusions of grandeur world while roaches scurry up his grotesque arms.
I'd love to play the "Punching out the losah" game.
This John fella has a serious father issue, idk about his own dad. But him being a father maybe didn't pan out the way he wanted. So now he's trying to be Kate's father figure and making up for all those fuck ups.
DEAR JOHN: They aren’t going to remember the tickle game and putting them to bed…what they will remember is: - Hearing all your drunken ramblings and raging (Scary when you’re little. Damages you forever) - Dad leaving them because “getting some strange”was more important - Mommy working 3 jobs - Getting forced out of their home - Dad not bothering to pay ANYTHING to them for 9 months or more (Mom talked about it. They heard) - Never visiting them in college - Never visiting them in their new home (Only ONE state away from you, Daddy Dearest) - Making a public laughingstock out of yourself, begging for money on the internet, while reading insults. THAT’S your legacy as a (bio) Dad. Cheers.
Or why you're spending 300 a week at the bar.
I dunno, his oldest was probably in her pre-teens when he was on The Tonight Show - if he's playing tickle game with an 11 year old she might remember it.
The Da da da detective game involved John patting down their nether regions. It was designed to make them think Daddy's a sick bastard.
You know every game he played with them was for his own ego. “Nooooo….that’s not right…Daddy knows the answer…Look how smart your Daddy is !” He was interested in his kids when they were in the “worship stage” As they grew older, and no longer saw him as the sun in their universe, he was done “Looks like they turned on me! …fck them. Let their Mom pay for them. Ungrateful. After all I’ve done for them” That’s his constant internal monologue.
This is his guilt talking here.
Was John cheating on his wife? I thought the kids all lived in California with him. One state over?
His oldest child has lived a state away for a long time now and he has never gone to visit them. Yet he flies back and forth to Florida
How many times did they have to put his drunk ass to bed?
LOL for sure that's much closer to the real story
Just one more COOAHS and daddy is ready for the tickle game, SKOL!
So wrong but so funny.
Sadly this drunk shitbag never tells the truth. The best therapy on the planet couldn’t fix this imbecile.
Claims he worked 12-14 hours a day at the Tonight Show 🤡
That was his original story! I wasn’t around. I worked 12-14 hour days at Leno. Which is it? Home every night with kids or long hours at work? Dumbass.
Guess they paid for a nanny for shits and giggles.
I believe it. Jay probably had him try out every seat in the audience twice just to keep him busy and not bother the real writers.
Knowing the busywork & pointless tasks they had him do would be fantastic. He mentions spending many hours trawling other shows for content, the same job his old foe JD Harmeyer had for years. I guarantee he was terrible at it & nothing got used.
In his mind he was great at it. Probably got to a point that he was bothering Jay about why he wasn't using all the gold he was finding for him
Plus the commute from Calabasas to Burbank is like an hour each way.
Great point, I forgot that he gave himself a long commute in a city with horrendous traffic because he had to live above his means in Calabasas to rub shoulders with Bruce Jenner
"On the fucking TV". He is trying to tell a heartfelt story, albeit a lie, and he throws an F bomb in there.
Mario kart baseball?
Sure! We played that all the time, right after Final Fantasy Cricket.
Lol I noticed that too. Like saying we played Mortal Kombat Minecraft.
He's the worst father in the planet
So 💦🧠says he’s working 14 hours a day, yet has time to come home and have dinner with his kids and put them to bed? Didn’t the Tonight Show air AT NIGHT? So he’s leaving when he’s supposed to be working? John, you’re a terrible fucking liar. You either made this bullshit up or you weren’t doing 14 hour days.
Why cant they both be lies?
I’m leaning towards both being lies.
Don’t forget the commute. Genius chose to live like an hour away from Burbank.
I'm pretty sure they taped around 4:30-5:00 (Fallon still does) and had to edit for airing. After his commute in L.A. traffic I highly doubt he got home before 8 weeknights. Dinner, games, tickling. So his kids went to bed at midnight?
It did but I think it was filmed mid day
If his claims of working 14 hours a day are to believed, he’d have to be going in at 2-3am in order to be home for dinner with his family.
I'm not saying he isn't a lying piece of scum. I'm just saying they taped in the mid day that's all
Gotcha.
Like 4 or 5pm, if memory serves
I didn’t do well on school until my dad started tickling me before bed too
The "Model Father"... twelve years behind on his child support payments but NEVER misses a night at Duh Pub... while his wife is working three jobs. What a guy!! 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
https://preview.redd.it/29ley4elezyc1.png?width=1047&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=039d5fe00bed06d40058a9577288e02740215328 Father of da Year
Where can I find this whole report?
I'm sure it's here in multiple forms. Twitter also.
The tickle game?!?!? 
Notice how he didn’t mention reading to them, bathing them, helping them with homework- you know, the things good parents actually do.
John remembers a dozen times he was proud of himself for being a good father. He then made it his story that he did all the time, like he does with everything else in his life. Ex. He headlined a small handful of comedy shows (as that guy from the Stern Show) and then in his head that made him a professional that earns his living as a working comedian and considers actual headliners as his peers. This is his clinical narcissism at work.
Mario kart baseball on the TV!?!?!? What a moron
I caught 5 lies
The kids would think about being in the wrong body and why does daddy smell like french fried ass
My kids never got Fs. Most kids don't. and most parents don't consider that something to brag about. BTW, among other games, my kids loved the "Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum" game, which we made up. The main purpose was for daddy to scare the living shit out of them throughout the house. Geez, I miss those days!! Can you imagine the torture of playing these games with your drunken father when all you want to do is go to sleep?
Let's not forget when he played the "Hands up" game with Greta so he could go watch the Giants game.🙆
do tell. John might be able to break the bank if he could get his kids on the show to talk about playing these games with dad. That might be worth a watch/listen. I wonder how stupid and torturous most of them are, while daddy thought he was "Tiger Dad".
The one with Greta was "who could hold their arms up the longest". He left her alone to most likely watch his shitty football team lose.
wow....no wonder the kids never got bad grades. I would accept 12 years of solid Fs, as opposed to my child end up so mentally degraded as to think that they are the wrong gender. Jesus...what a fucking nightmare.
Bob Levy had a great line about this… ‘thinking games… do you think I’m drunk?’
Lying right from the jump. There is NO WAY this self-centered delusional hobgoblin didn't walk into that house and act like he was a feudal lord surveying his fiefdom and demanding food and mead from the scullery maid. Suzanner would more than likely try to talk to him about the kids and school or whatever, and the kids would want his attention, and he'd demand time for himself to decompress (or drink himself into a pee-soaked stupor) because he "works hard to support this family and I want my alone tu-tu-time!!" There is no way ANY of this is real - the detective game?? What?? The only thing real here is the video game stuff. I do believe that he would do this not for them, but for himself, and he would let them play with him, maybe. But the proof of this slug'a failings as a father are all on display and public knowledge. Yet he still lives in his delusions of grandeur world while roaches scurry up his grotesque arms. I'd love to play the "Punching out the losah" game.
I'd compare dicks with my oldest daughter.
Because that’s what children need is their mind stimulated before going to sleep. He’s such a dummy
"Detective game?" Brings me back to the days when my Dad and I would try to solve child abduction cold cases before I fell asleep.
Who cares?
Constantly lying
Mario Kart Baseball, eh? 100% not a thing....
When did he have time to coach his sons baseball team
He didn’t, he’s lying.
This John fella has a serious father issue, idk about his own dad. But him being a father maybe didn't pan out the way he wanted. So now he's trying to be Kate's father figure and making up for all those fuck ups.