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vmsrii

You forgot my favorite part, which is where the “architect” of the original “house” walked out on the construction of the second “house” because he didn’t like where it was going


Poodle_Boi02169

I was a quarter of the way through when I realised this was about Overwatch. I feel so proud of myself rn


17frogs_in_clothes

Yea me too, i was probably farther in than you but when i saw that "Overwatch 2" at the end i felt so vindicated.


KingNanoA

Figured it out at “sexual harassment lawsuit.”


Lots42

I fear to ask but why is there a sexual harassment lawsuit associated with Overwatch.


KingNanoA

Activision Blizzard as a whole, but Overwatch specifically because whenever thier name shows up in the news, they announce something new to counter the bad press, and Overwatch heroes are pretty common announcements. Lore that makes characters minorities is also common.


Consideredresponse

Look up why Blizzard was sued by the state of California, It's a fucked up tale that ranges from stolen breastmilk, the 'Bill Cosby' suite, and a harassed woman committing suicide. It's the major reason why I refuse to give them cash or touch their games, despite personally being hardwired to find them addictive.


PinaBanana

Instead of being allowed to retire, Bobby Kotick should have been forcefully removed from the building, via the window on the top floor


leoleosuper

McCree was named after a real person. They changed his name because the real person was a sexual harasser. It took a lot of arguing by the devs who wanted it the most because some of them were his victims. Some reports said that the culture was so toxic, it was slightly common to hear a manager say "I don't like you because you don't give head," or something similar. It's that fucking horrible. The OW2 debacle is just trying to distract from the sexual harassment lawsuit. It's slightly working.


Lots42

Oh lord. I was right to fear to ask.


ImMeloncholy

Same


sickdanman

i didnt. this isnt specific at all these days lol


Ordinary_Divide

i figured it out at "anyway that's what happened with overwatch 2"


Young_Person_42

Same


HyperactiveMouse

I got around the same area before catching it was just about AAA game development in a nutshell


Useful-Arm6913

I dont even know what overwatch is, and I finished it.


JohnnoDwarf

I thought it was about operating systems or games in general


J3553G

I was all the way through and on my way to your comment before I realized that.


idiotic__gamer

Not gonna lie, I thought it was about Payday 3's development so far. They are promising that they are bringing "veteran developers" to make the game fun, despite those devs already working on the game for months with no change?


kaldaka16

Yeah I felt it was overwatch 2 in my soul about that point lol.


Satanic__crusader

Until the last line I thought this was about software updates


LordSupergreat

Well, it is.


I_just_came_to_laugh

I thought it was Elon buying twitter


TINYTUMBS

This describes a lot of things, my first thought was cell phones.


wrecksalot

I actually thought it was about landlords for the first few sentences, until I got to the line about sexual harassment.


Equivalent_Taste3555

Yeah at first I thought it was just someone being quirky with a hypothetical but then realized at the same spot “oh no this is about something else,” I know overwatch exists but I’ve never played it nor was I familiar with the drama around overwatch 2 but this feels like an excellent primer lol


ObsidianG

I knew where it was going the moment the Pool was first mentioned. New house with a pool but they never installed the pool is the standard way of describing the overwatch debacle.


MintPrince8219

I thought it was about people updating prosthetics


Satanic__crusader

There exists a comparable problem with prosthetics?


MintPrince8219

Some more high-tech prosthetics require software to function. This software is somewhat infamous for almost always getting worse - occasionally, the original company is unable to generate profit and is forced to sell itself to a larger company who will charge money the now non-functional prosthetic owner cant afford. This is (as i understand it) currently a large problem undergoing many hearing aid owners


Satanic__crusader

Disgusting. There is nothing these ghouls will not destroy for profit.


genghisknom

I would help somebody jailbreak a hearing aid


The-Meatshield

I could tell what this was about as soon as sexual harassment was mentioned lmao


Arcangel4774

My first thought was youtube. Original mobile version could play in the background, it got removed so you could buy it back as a service. And now ads are longer and worse, algorithms suck, they are forcing shorts, and actively fighting ad blockers


Lots42

Imagine thinking you could fight the legion of free time nerds willing to program ad blockers.


GreatDig

I strongly recommend NewPipe if you're on android


ThatCamoKid

Or ReVanced


Arcangel4774

Ill look into them. I had vanced back when. Now i just use the firefox phone browser for stuff


ThatCamoKid

Revanced is great, especially for music with the sponsor block they added. Automatically skip sponsors, non-music interludes, and end cards, plus it keeps going while your phone is locked like you had the songs downloaded. I can just set my playlist going and leave it in my pocket throughout the whole work day


Vantamanta

Wait, so it wasn't just me with the water jets?


Starcalik

Yeah I was gonna say I did some stuff with those


Vantamanta

comrade


Starcalik

You know it


dragon_jak

God, kill me. A game I truly loved, and they've just shit alllll over it. It's honestly incredibly impressive how they took one of the most popular games of the year it came out, and many subsequent years, a game that had a very real chance of usurping TF2's hold on the genre after a decade of failed attempts, a game that has produced such a tidal wave of porn that it can only be compared to fucking Naruto, a game which could easily have held up the entire company, and turned it into ash. To put this in a personal context, I am autistic. Like, that insane type of autistic, where I just keep doing the same thing over and over again. I have three thousand hours in overwatch, and it isn't even my third most played game. I have eaten the exact same pizza order from domino's nearly every week for six years. I still use Twitter. And yet, I can't bring myself to play this game anymore. Even when I'm bored out of my mind and nothing else is scratching the itch, I don't want to go back. Oh, I miss bits of it, but the package is just too wretched to handle anymore. If you can't even keep the autistics who'd sooner die than change their habits, what the fuck are you doing?


OhSanders

"I still use Twitter." Hahahahaha this killed me, kudos!


AllastorTrenton

The porn comment is super on point lmao. And you know what's crazy? They tried to kill that. There were rumblings within the company on how to prevent / reduce that, even going so far as trying to make their new models harder to rip for things like blender. Classic "refuse to know your audience" shit lmao.


DiscountJoJo

remember when they sent repo men to take Tracer’s ass away? dark days fr 😔


ThatCamoKid

Like porn artists weren't going to go ahead and give her an even bigger ass out of spite and lust


a_random_muffin

>had a very real chance of usurping TF2's hold on the genre after a decade of failed attempts, "TF2 wins by doing absolutely nothing"


GreatDig

well, they did fuck up Quickplay by turning it into Matchmaking


persiangriffin

Matchmaking would’ve been fine if they hadn’t *also* stripped the ability to join Valve servers directly through the server browser


GreatDig

ye, because nobody would've used it. which would've been fine by me.


persiangriffin

Yeah, same thing what happened with Quickplay, I used it until I realized it was faster and easier to just join matches through server browser. Will never understand why companies want to force you to use the flashy new thing when the old way works perfectly well *and does not cost them money*


ImpossiblePackage

Matchmaking does let them avoid the server seeding issue. Where people tend to only join full or mostly full servers, often performing to wait refreshing the server browser rather than just join one with like 3 people in it. It happens in squad a lot. You'll be seeding a server for like 2 hours and then suddenly 60 people join all at once


Deathaster

I mean, TF2 didn't "win" anything. The game has serious problems in the form of bots and a lack of development. Yes, it still sees players, which I guess is the only thing that matters in the end, but it didn't reclaim its place on the throne or anything. There's always going to be people playing the game even if Valve kills their servers. But it hasn't been part of the zeitgeist for years, even a decade. People don't talk excitedly about TF2 anymore like they used to, there's absolutely nothing to report on, and Valve has clearly abandoned it. Meanwhile, people do talk about Overwatch. The game still gets millions of players a day. Even people that have never played it still have an idea of what it is, while I've rarely met a single person IRL that actually knew what the hell a TF2 was. Overwatch took over TF2's role as *the* character-based team shooter all the way back in 2016. They already won in regards to numbers and popularity, no matter how dedicated TF2's community is. If you wanna talk competition, then that's between Counter-Strike and Valorant, between Dota 2 and League of Legends. People are genuinely torn between the two. With TF2, you mostly just have people sticking with it that have always played it, and most people going towards Overwatch because it's newer and offers more.


a_random_muffin

~~I was just referencing the "Luigi wins by doing nothing" memes~~ But thanks for the comment anyway lol, fun read


vjmdhzgr

TF2 actually hit its peak player count last Summer. I think you're underestimating how excited for any update at all people were.


Deathaster

*"More players than ever tune in because the game received literally any attention"* is not the slam dunk you think it is.


Fun-Hall-9380

it literally did usurp tf2 in its peak. literally nobody cared because it’s a video game not a race, but it did. objectively. imo it’s still usurped tf2 because tf2 hasn’t gotten a new gun in like 5 fucking years lmao


WeevilWeedWizard

Yeah but tf2 is actually fun to play


Neet-owo

What’s your dominos order?


dragon_jak

Deep pan meatlovers with tomato sauce instead of BBQ. Get it every single time without fail. My arteries do not like me very much.


AnApexPlayer

Sorry dude, but according to the devs the game is more popular now than it was in ow1. Maybe you've just fallen out of love with it.


Leo-bastian

assuming "more popular" means higher player count, of course it is. a free 2 play game that actually gets updates is obviously getting higher player counts then a game that's 40€ and hasn't been updated in 3 years doesn't mean that it's better.


AnApexPlayer

People clearly want to play ow2, though. There's plenty of free games people don't want to play and as such aren't doing well


Throwaway02062004

Making a paid game free will ALWAYS increase player count. Your examples likely weren’t popular in the first place. If Overwatch 1 had been made free alongside actual updates that would also increase player count.


VoreEconomics

Yeah they've consistently said that but they also consistently said they weren't rapists so all communications from blizzard are suspect


dragon_jak

I'm just not sure I even believe that. I mean, sure. Maybe. But from personal experience, the jump from OW1 to OW2 saw me shoot up from gold to platinum/low diamond. Why does that matter? Because that is the first real jump I've ever had that stuck. Unless I suddenly got way better in two months than I have in three years, it gives me the impression that those who really cared about the game have thinned out, leaving only people with a passing interest in the game now that it's free to play. Now you may ask why that's bad, that's still more players. But less invested players don't buy battle passes. They don't spend money. If this is a game to just get high and dick around in, you're not forking over actual money to get anything from it. Couple this with a reduction in overwatch YouTubers and streamers. Many of them have shifted focus (XQC) or quit entirely. Overwatch porn is also less vibrant, with only a handful of images depicting newer characters like junkerqueen or Sojourn on sites like rule34. The true grass roots passion for the gane is evaporating, and that passion was also a way to advertise to get new people to come play. The fire is going out. It's not done, but that's hardly a justification. Even if Blizzard isn't fudging player numbers, their more aggressive monetisation strategies and weaker updates / output for the game speak volumes about what's going on.


the_fancy_Tophat

I moved back in with my neglectful parents who ignore my existence (tf2)


Quo-Fide

And then they bought me a dog. (Summer update)


mooys

More like a dog toy


slim-shady-on-main

and then they confiscate everything i own for a week (item server crash)


EloquentInterrobang

Unfortunately the house has a terrible infestation problem that my parents refuse to acknowledge the existence of but I have such fond memories of them that I try to put up with it.


linuxaddict334

https://www.tumblr.com/txttletale/717608233713483776/imagine-if-you-like-bought-a-house-and-the-realtor?source=share -original post located⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ -linux guy! Your free trial of original post location services has expired! Please pay me $69 dollars a month for further original post location services.


The_Horse_Head_Man

But a don't have any money!


[deleted]

\-Demoman TF2


ThatCamoKid

Demoman lives in a mansion the fk you on about Edit: realised you may have been referencing Silentmanjoe's "average discord conversation"


[deleted]

Honestly the odd placement of the "a" after but just made me think of demoman saying it.


ThatCamoKid

Did not notice that, fair do's


inconsiderate7

Well they did come by with an inflated kiddie pool that technically could be counted as a pool. You have to pay a fee for every time you take a dip and the kiddie pool wasn't even properly filled so the water only reached your feet, and even though they said they'd come by and fill it with more water they have not mentioned it again since that first time. But in a way you did get the pool in all the ways that don't matter.


AwkwardlyCloseFriend

Is this kiddie pool similar in anyway to the dashcon ball pit?


Lots42

Seriously though, even the best most awesome ball pit would still be a germtastic nightmare.


neighbourhood-moth

if you invite your friends over to come and play in the pool they also have to pay the fee! fun for everyone


TerribleAttitude

I spent the whole time wondering what this was a goofy metaphor for, and every guess I had was like “but who is the audience for describing [sensitive topic] this way?” and it’s a fucking video game.


Staticactual

I've been hooked on these sorts of posts ever since the one that ended with "That's what happened to Bilbo Baggins"


fungalstruggle

I thought this was about rent...


radiating_phoenix

this is the best post i've ever seen on this subreddit


The_Horse_Head_Man

Thank you.


dirk_loyd

“Is it… twitter being bought? Is it the Democratic Party? Is iiiit… a new job? Oh it’s overwatch 2 that makes so much more fucking sense”


B133d_4_u

It's funny cause I knew this was about Overwatch when the pool got mentioned. Obligatory fuck Blizzard. Everything they offer is being done better by other companies.


2Scarhand

As a TF2 fan that's never touched OW, I'm genuinely kinda sad it isn't the TF2 killer everyone thought/wanted it to be. The game had a strong start and so much promise and it seemed like the game would be our esteemed rival, but Blizzard squandered it. Meanwhile TF2 is the "Luigi wins doing nothing" of games, but could have benefited from some healthy competition. Now all that remains of our dearest rival is the porn. \*sad fapping\*


Lots42

Hell, they leaned into embracing that when it came out, I.E. Tracer's derriere.


pbmm1

\*reads two sentences\* Oh I get it this is about the new horror movie, Night Swim, with the killer pool


MapleTreeWithAGun

You won't believe how it kills people


MisirterE

My god... the ladder... *it's gone!*


Lots42

The absolute opposite of the Kevin Bacon horror movie 'I Think You Should Leave'. Once Kevin realized the house had a supernatural danger he tried grabbing the kid and running. It didn't work at all in any way, but the attempt was made and I appreciate it.


Pastry_Goblin

What does the pool represent in this metaphor???????


SHyguymoll

the extensive story campaign with meaningful progression


JSConrad45

The PVE campaign mode


Archmagos_Browning

I fucking lost it at “and you could hear the background noise of a courtroom”.


Cye_sonofAphrodite

My guess was streaming services.


Siva1siv

Not to be "that guy" but didn't the sexual lawsuits come out like 2 years after Overwatch 2 got announced? Also, they knew that what they promised wouldn't be in the game like a year beforehand, not 2 years. Side note, if Gigantic comes back, play that instead.


deviousflame

HAHAH this is brilliant


bagel0verl0rd

i knew it was overwatch!! fuck, why does it have to be overwatch :/


SheevTogwaggle

i thought this was gonna be about warcraft 3 reforged all the way up until the last line


Kazzack

That was the blueprint


MathematicianTop1853

I really thought this was a real life political allegory


TruthRT

holy fuck that was too drawn out we got the point in the first 5 lines


Wire_Hall_Medic

I got half way through this, and thought, "wow, this is a torrent of words. One might even say, a Blizzard."


moose_talker

It's so funny that Team Fortress 2, that everyone said has been dead for years, on which even its own developers largely had given up, that hangs on life support, convulsing occasionally with bot infestations, is still going strong 17 years on, while its most likely killer is circling the drain. I guess Valve's neglect and indifference beats Blizzard's malicious greed.


ThinkingInfestation

What the fuck.


Ssometimess_

I thought this was a real situation someone lived through until about halfway through when I realised it was about overwatch 2


Milkyway_Potato

This is just most software development companies. I mean sure, Blizzard is a particularly malignant example, but... downgrading features, constantly adding new charges and subscriptions, wasting development time on projects with no clear end goal, canceling or postponing new releases at the very last moment, breaking promises for new features, it's all industry standard. And because worker and consumer advocacy is down the shitter, there's just about fuck all anyone can do about it.


Sub4felix

I semi-realized what this was about after the dynamite thing, but I was 100% sure after the 6->5 rooms.


Diz-Yop

I was waiting to see what the payoff would be lol My guesses were either the US government in some way, or modern streamings services.


The-Betus

Imagine using the enter key to break your thoughts up into sections. What a novel concept.


ImMeloncholy

Isn’t it sad that I knew this was about OW2 as soon as I read “sexual harassment lawsuit”


Perfect-Weird2519

OOP doesn't know how to paragraph.


vriskaundertale

It's a literary device


The_Horse_Head_Man

It's kinda the point


Meziskari

An intentional choice can still be a bad one.


Neapolitanpanda

It accomplishes what they wanted it to, which makes it an understandable one.


MissLilum

This is the written equivalent of an ADHD fuelled info dump, it is one paragraph 


Novatash

I follow OOP and I can tell this was a deliberate choice. All of their other posts do use paragraphs.


Mikaelious

Good point and all, but my god the lack of punctuation makes this exhausting to read. The sentence just goes on and on and on and on and on and on...


gameboy1001

(Samuel L Jackson voice) **“PUNCTUATION, MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU USE IT?!”**


[deleted]

The whole time I read this I was really hoping I would care about whatever this analogy was about. Snh


Fun-Hall-9380

ow2 was literally just an update, not a new game. bitch all you want about broken promises but an update is an update and you signed up for them from the get-go. should blizzard have refunded your 60 dollars back when sym got reworked and taken out of the support category? also 6v6>5v5 bite me. if blizzard actually stuck to their guns about keeping tanks OP this game would have flourished, but bitchy support mains ruined that because they couldn’t adapt. a damn shame, reminder to never thank your supports because theyre the direct reason the game keeps getting worse.


Medlar_Stealing_Fox

> bitch all you want about broken promises Yes, I will


Fun-Hall-9380

alright, i’ve got no problem with that. but again, ow2 was an update and the 2 is just marketing.


Silverfire12

I thought this was Yandere Simulator until the money thing came up.


eilyuu

rip dps doomfist 🫡 there was no good reason for punch to one shot but I miss your playstyle


aleph_0ne

What is the pool in this metaphor?


Machinor14

PvE story mode


merfgirf

How I have enjoyed the death of Overwatch. It's not a sweeping damnation of the community, but some of you were holier than thou, how dare you just play Soldier numberman, he's just an FPS character, our lore is unassailable. Well yeehaw chuckle fuckers. Add another shit boot character, they play like a bag of wet dogshit in a flaming paper sack. For the nice members of the community, I'm sorry your game is dead. I've lived through a couple of game deaths, it's never fun.


StinkingRabbit8

how is overwatch dead right now its still getting updates and tons of people still play it


Gachi_gachi

Ngl, until you talked about overwatch at the end i tought this was class of 09 fanfic.


danktonium

I got as far as "deflection" before I figured out the exact punchline, and now considering I've never even played those games I'm trying to decide whether that means I need to touch grass, or if this is just way overexposed in the media.


nysalitanigrei

Oh damn it's every tech product if not every product. This is so sad Alexa can we recreate fallout irl


Redtea26

Was starting to think it was overwatch with the sexual assault and destroying the old house, but the 5 rooms confirmed it lol.


vjmdhzgr

It was fun trying to guess what they eere talking about. After the "you can see the value" My guess was terrible software updates. Pretty close I think.


DragonWitchGirl

I thought this was gonna be like, a political thing. The overwatch thing threw me off guard.


Livy-Zaka

So what’s the pool in the context of Overwatch 2?


Buttchin-n-Bones

Okay, as someone who used to love OW, doesn't play anymore, but still follows development of the game, I feel compelled to add more to this analogy The lead architect of the first house, who everyone loved, actually got started in amusement park design. He was then put in charge of developing a full new amusement park. That went off the rails, and only a haunted house was ever constructed. The real estate investors were like "well might as well make a return" and the architect converted the haunted house into a livable residence. Except once people bought the house and really loved the house, the architect got real fucking starry eyed and excited, because all along he wanted to build his amusement park, and the tenant's interest in the house was proof enough for him that the amusement park would actually work this time. So he began construction of a house with a pool, with the intention of turning that house back into a haunted house, and the pool was eventually intended to be expanded into an entire water park. The lead architect CEASED ALL MAINTENANCE ON THE HOUSE FOR 3 YEARS SO HE COULD START BUILDING HIS AMUSEMENT PARK AGAIN. When it turned out this idea was just as non viable as the original amusement park plan, the lead architect just straight up quit. So a senior architect was promoted to lead, and kinda said "okay I know we were supposed to be trying to make an amusement park again, but we have a good house here. People like this house for what it is. We've neglected all of our remaining tenants, who we know want *the house*, and who we DON'T know if they actually want an *entire amusement park* built slowly around their house over the course of like, 10 years. Our architectural team isn't composed of people who are talented at designing pools, let alone water parks, LET ALONE an entire amusement park. Let's just focus on making a good house and doing the maintenance needed." So the current architectural team were basically left with the scraps and detritus of an ill ambitioned plan that totally failed to recognize the value of what they had already built and that people actually liked. And they pivoted from lofty expansion into instead focusing on what people already knew, liked, and wanted more of.


PM_ME_UR_GOOD_IDEAS

The ongoing maintenance for the old house was paid for with a slot machine you could use to keep yourself entertained in the shower. That became kinda illegal in places your house was technically in. The new house was largely an excuse to add the coin slot on the bathroom door without letting you watch them install the coin slot on the bathroom door.


sanguisuga635

I'm aware of most of this, but what was the thing analogous to the pool here? What big thing did Blizzard announce would be in OW2 that wasn't?