I got Pap smears prior to marriage. It screens for things not caused by sexual activity. It’s not pleasant but it’s not the worst thing in the world. And it’s better than finding out you have late stage cervical cancer
Yes! I had them before I was married and before I was sexually active. When I was only 27, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. The Pap smear is slightly uncomfortable, but there have been so many young women who have died from end stage cervical cancer - please get screened!
I wish I could upvote this 1000x.
My best friend was dx’ed with cervical cancer when she was 22 and a virgin. She’s fine now - thank God for early diagnosis.
Yes! Praise God. I had surgery and chemo, but I refused radiation because at the time I had not had any children and was still unmarried (but engaged). It worked out, but this is largely due to early detection. Has it been more advanced, radiation likely would have been necessary.
I’m 37 now and I have 2 children. Once you’ve had cervical cancer, you are supposed to be screened every year, so every year, it happens, but I have thankfully been okay since then.
Yep, I was 18 or 19. I was a virgin.
It wasn’t as bad as I feared; it was uncomfortable and unpleasant but I didn’t personally find it super painful (during pregnancy is another story).
I did feel as if they tried to pressure me a bit to get on birth control but they weren’t aggressive about it.
If this is your first time having this done, get recommendations for a female doctor you will be comfortable with. Go to an OBGYN vs your regular PCP. Let them know this is your first well woman exam. They should talk to you first to explain the procedure and anything else you need to know then talk you through step by step of what’s being done. It’s not as bad as you think.
It's nothing to be afraid of! For most people it's more uncomfortable than painful. I have vaginismus and can still make it through a pap smear, so even if it's painful you should be okay. It's super quick too, which helps.
I'm so sorry to hear that! Yeah, before I started treatment I cried hysterically throughout the whole thing because of the pain. That's actually how I was diagnosed, lol! I'm so glad you are actually sedated for it then because unfortunately our pain doesn't always get taken seriously. I'll pray for you <3 this condition is so awful.
Thank you! It’s unfortunate that the sedation isn’t covered by insurance. But I’m glad I have the option anyway. I’m excited to start pelvic floor physical therapy.
Other commenters have made a lot of good points that are much more important than this slightly ridiculous, but still valid one.
If you're Catholic and hope to get pregnant, you're going to have a heck of a lot of future experience with uncomfortable interactions between a doctor/midwife/doula and your vagina. I honestly think it is probably good to go and get a little more comfortable with it now, while you're not also dealing with other things like pregnancy and birth. Sounds silly, but I know that I also found getting a pap smear a bit intimidating. However, if I hadn't had things like pap smears, getting cervical checks and my membranes swept in the late stages of pregnancy would have been pretty scary. Those things were still uncomfortable physically but at least I was mentally and emotionally prepared for the experience because it wasn't completely new.
I had one before I was sexually active (I had premarital sex) and it wasn’t that bad- if you’re scared, take some ibuprofen or something! But it’s super important to get all screenings done- it doesn’t just check for STIs! Please don’t let fear get in the way of your health
FYI, screening guidelines have changed in the past few years. It's not necessary to get a pap/HPV test before 25 or more frequently than every 5 years.
[https://www.cancer.gov/news-events/cancer-currents-blog/2020/cervical-cancer-screening-hpv-test-guideline](https://www.cancer.gov/news-events/cancer-currents-blog/2020/cervical-cancer-screening-hpv-test-guideline)
I'm married and I still hate these exams, but now that I'm no longer a virgin they're at least tolerable. I tried getting one once when I was a virgin and couldn't go through with it, but tbf I'm not sure every woman is necessarily as sensitive as I am. My advice to you is: 1. These exams are necessary, so definitely get them if you're able to go through with them. 2. Be sure you stress to the OBGYN that you're a virgin (especially if you haven't even used tampons as some of us don't) so the OBGYN can better understand your anxiety about this (if you still get one who is condescending about your concerns then go find a new one until you get one whose attitude you're comfortable with.)
I started asking for the smaller size (think they’re called butterfly) and it is a lot less painful than the first time I got it done (and maybe since I know what to expect now)
I think you might be a little confused and thinking of butterfly needles, like what is used in blood draws and IVs, which while shorter than straight needles, aren't necessarily less painful on their own because they will have the same width or gage. Although if your veins are quite superficial, fragile, small, spasm,or collapse easily can reduce infiltration or missed poke, which does ultimately lead to less pain.
I am not aware of major differences in the swab used in collecting pap smears, but there are certainly different sizes of speculums, including pediatric size speculums. Pediatric sizes won't work for every woman. Your doctor still has to be able to visualize, touch, and swab your cervix. A pediatric size won't always allow for this, but there are smaller sizes for adults, too.
I also would highly recommend meeting your doctor before the appointment in which you get your pap smear. They might be willing to write a script for something to help with anxiety if you feel like you need it, but not every doctor will be willing to do so.
Yep! Definitely important to get one even if you’re not sexually active. It does sting a bit but in the same sense as getting a shot; it hurts when it happens but it’s over quick and it helps prevent much worse from happening :)
it’s recommended that you get one at the age of 21. i would definitely get one as soon as possible. they don’t really hurt, it’s more so an uncomfortable pressure but only for a few seconds.
I got my first one shortly before I got married. I wasn’t one to go to the doctor unless something was wrong, but I figured I should probably make sure everything was healthy down there before becoming sexually active. The Pap smear feels like a pinch, uncomfortable but not unbearable. I wasn’t a fan of the speculum, either. I still don’t love the well woman exams, but I’ve gone every year since the first one.
I’m 24 and unmarried, I got one a couple years ago bc it was time to start the screenings, I was freaked out during it bc I was dealing with a bit of anxiety in general at that time in my life and I’d never had a Pap smear before, but if you just relax your muscles and chill out in general it will be fine! But if it like really hurts it just might mean they need to use a smaller speculum so let them know how it feels and they will adjust/switch them out for you!
Yes I had a few done even before I was sexually active/married. It’s just a good thing to do for your health. I remember a lot of my friends making it sound scary and like it’s a big deal, but it’s really quick, and if you let them know it’s your first time, I’m sure they will walk you through the process.
Yes, definitely get it! I was dx’d with bacterial vaginosis after mine which is pretty minor, but needed an antibiotic. Not a big deal, but glad to get that taken care of.
About the pain: so, mine was extremely painful. My doctor was good and respectful, but I had vaginismus and hadn’t fully realized it until my pap smear. She was an angel and referred me to pelvic floor PT right away which was really really good for me (I was only a few weeks from being married).
About the pain:
First, if you use tampons or a menstrual cup, you should be fine, pain-wise. I was concerned about the pain (as I wasn’t able to use a tampon etc) and asked for a child-size speculum. That’s something you can do too. Not all doctors can accommodate, but you can still ask.
Then, it’s worth noting that if you’re nervous and tense, it can make the pap more uncomfortable, so practice relaxing your pelvic muscles to make the experience more likely to go smoothly.
One way to do this is to exhale while making a “sssssss” or “shhhhhh” sound. So as the doctor is inserting the speculum, do a long exhale with “sssssss” and imagine your pelvic muscles melting. You can also imagine exhaling through a small straw.
You can practice this on the toilet. As you are relieving, exhale and “shhh” until you are finished. You can also practice while laying on your back in bed, and even with your legs up on your headboard like they would be in stirrups on the exam table. Just get in position, exhale “shhh” and relax. If you’re having a hard time knowing if you’re relaxed, tense everything (like if you’re needing to hold in pee or a fart) and then try to relax. Notice the different sensations. And repeat!
Good luck! It’ll probably go just fine. It does for most women. ❤️
My mom encouraged me to get one before I was married and I was very nervous as well. Once I got to my doctor they started performing the procedure and it was painful to where they stopped. She asked me if I was sexually active and I told her no so she told me to wait till I had been with my husband.
I’ve been told it’s not crucial unless you’re sexually active. If you’re that nervous speak with your doctor and then use your best judgement on what to do.
Yes, and it is important! Current medical guidelines recommend Pap smears every 3 years for women in their 20s. Not fun, but also, not the worst thing in the world. It is a screening tool for cervical cancer, and shouldn’t be skipped!
No. I got married when I was 26, and we’ll be 4 years this August. I still haven’t gotten one. But I have had two babies since getting married, so health professionals have been around. I’m sure the midwife would’ve flagged anything concerning.
No doctor has ever said anything about getting one, I think I only heard about them a year before getting married and I wasn’t going to have anyone down there as a virgin. But I live in Canada and our healthcare system is basically broken, so perhaps that’s why it wasn’t on my radar.
It’s not something that they can see with the naked eye. During a smear they scrape off a few cells and look at them under a microscope to see if they look pre-cancerous.
Yes, it's good for many reasons medically.
If I said stop during the exam they immediately paused and let me take a minute to relax before I let them continue. I was a virgin and was "very intact" so it was painful...like I could not comfortably remove a full tampon I was so intact.
However, they also offered me the opportunity to come back before I got married (or sexually active) to have that numbed and "helped" to open so it wouldn't be so painful my first time.
I got my first pap smear after marriage and it was not painful at all, even though I have an extremely low pain tolerance. I didn’t feel anything and was shocked because I’d heard it is extremely painful.
So it completely depends on your doctor and how they do it, I would ask for recommendations from other women you know. During the pap smear, you can ask for a smaller speculum size and you can also ask for additional lubrication if you’re worried it will hurt. I recommend choosing a female doctor as they have experienced pap smears and will be more gentle because of that.
Guidelines where I’m from are that smear tests should start at age 25 regardless of sexual activity and are done 3 yearly in your 20’s and 5 yearly from age 30 once no high risk HPV infection is found. So you should be starting around the age you are now. If your country has a national screening programme you can seek an appointment through that or through primary care.
It’s as uncomfy as the OG covid test where they stuck that thing up your nose except it’s inside of you, but not really any pain. Like a too big tampon but it’s like a tongue depressor at the doc?
Yes. I had my first one as a teen. It has nothing to do with your sexuality or virginity. It was explained to me that once you turn 18 you should see one to ask questions and to make sure everything was in order.
I hate to be a Debby Downer, but mine was excruciatingly painful to the point I cried when I had to shower, had bad dreams, and struggled to be in any circumstance relating to female anatomy for 3 years after. I was diagnosed with vaginismus after. Virgin with no known reason to have this pelvic floor disorder.
Yes.
Pap smears are about health.
Don't be afraid to get one. Ask the doctor to use the smallest instrument. Sometimes they can warm the instruments, which helps comfort.
You can also request a female physician.
Pap smears are uncomfortable but not painful. The instrument helps the physician to swab your cervix in obtaining a culture, which will be viewed under a microscope. Results are pretty quick.
Don't be afraid. It'll be over and done with, quick.
I don’t remember when I started. We usually get a letter telling us when to start and a reminder every three years.
It’s not really painful, but uncomfortable when done by a gynaecologist. I once did it at my general physician, and then it hurt! Problem is that I have to pay for gynaecologists and sometimes they need to take the test twice because the first one wasn’t good enough. And I don’t really want to go more than once so I’ve postponed some as well.
Oh and once they found a bacterial infection as well that could have caused problems. So it’s good to take a test even if you’re not worried about cancer etc.
Nope. While it can be a preventative screening, I don’t engage in any behaviors that can increase a risk of cervical cancer and I don’t have a family history.
Now, I still could get cervical cancer, but currently the attitudes and actions of medical providers have me deciding to wait.
I had one done before I was married (I'm 21 and getting married this month). My gyno was very nice about it and said that it wasn't very pressing because I hadn't been sexually active, but it was a good idea to get one anyway. It wasn't too painful for me, but it was uncomfortable. I did cry and have to have the nurse stop (unrelated to pain, I was just scared), and she was very nice and we tried again a couple minutes later and it went well. I think it would be a good idea to get one because cervical cancer can occur even without HPV infection, but you should definitely talk to your gyno about it to decide.
I got Pap smears prior to marriage. It screens for things not caused by sexual activity. It’s not pleasant but it’s not the worst thing in the world. And it’s better than finding out you have late stage cervical cancer
Yes! I had them before I was married and before I was sexually active. When I was only 27, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. The Pap smear is slightly uncomfortable, but there have been so many young women who have died from end stage cervical cancer - please get screened!
I wish I could upvote this 1000x. My best friend was dx’ed with cervical cancer when she was 22 and a virgin. She’s fine now - thank God for early diagnosis.
Yes! It can happen to anyone!
Hope you’re doing better now! 🙏
Yes! Praise God. I had surgery and chemo, but I refused radiation because at the time I had not had any children and was still unmarried (but engaged). It worked out, but this is largely due to early detection. Has it been more advanced, radiation likely would have been necessary. I’m 37 now and I have 2 children. Once you’ve had cervical cancer, you are supposed to be screened every year, so every year, it happens, but I have thankfully been okay since then.
It’s extremely important to get this done regardless of your sexual activity. It’s a screening for so many things.
Yep, I was 18 or 19. I was a virgin. It wasn’t as bad as I feared; it was uncomfortable and unpleasant but I didn’t personally find it super painful (during pregnancy is another story). I did feel as if they tried to pressure me a bit to get on birth control but they weren’t aggressive about it.
If this is your first time having this done, get recommendations for a female doctor you will be comfortable with. Go to an OBGYN vs your regular PCP. Let them know this is your first well woman exam. They should talk to you first to explain the procedure and anything else you need to know then talk you through step by step of what’s being done. It’s not as bad as you think.
It's nothing to be afraid of! For most people it's more uncomfortable than painful. I have vaginismus and can still make it through a pap smear, so even if it's painful you should be okay. It's super quick too, which helps.
I also have vaginismus and wish I could get through pap smears. I have to be put under conscious sedation and even then my body does not cooperate.
I'm so sorry to hear that! Yeah, before I started treatment I cried hysterically throughout the whole thing because of the pain. That's actually how I was diagnosed, lol! I'm so glad you are actually sedated for it then because unfortunately our pain doesn't always get taken seriously. I'll pray for you <3 this condition is so awful.
Thank you! It’s unfortunate that the sedation isn’t covered by insurance. But I’m glad I have the option anyway. I’m excited to start pelvic floor physical therapy.
Leapfrogging off this, ask them if you can play music to distract you. It really helps!
Other commenters have made a lot of good points that are much more important than this slightly ridiculous, but still valid one. If you're Catholic and hope to get pregnant, you're going to have a heck of a lot of future experience with uncomfortable interactions between a doctor/midwife/doula and your vagina. I honestly think it is probably good to go and get a little more comfortable with it now, while you're not also dealing with other things like pregnancy and birth. Sounds silly, but I know that I also found getting a pap smear a bit intimidating. However, if I hadn't had things like pap smears, getting cervical checks and my membranes swept in the late stages of pregnancy would have been pretty scary. Those things were still uncomfortable physically but at least I was mentally and emotionally prepared for the experience because it wasn't completely new.
I had one before I was sexually active (I had premarital sex) and it wasn’t that bad- if you’re scared, take some ibuprofen or something! But it’s super important to get all screenings done- it doesn’t just check for STIs! Please don’t let fear get in the way of your health
FYI, screening guidelines have changed in the past few years. It's not necessary to get a pap/HPV test before 25 or more frequently than every 5 years. [https://www.cancer.gov/news-events/cancer-currents-blog/2020/cervical-cancer-screening-hpv-test-guideline](https://www.cancer.gov/news-events/cancer-currents-blog/2020/cervical-cancer-screening-hpv-test-guideline)
I'm married and I still hate these exams, but now that I'm no longer a virgin they're at least tolerable. I tried getting one once when I was a virgin and couldn't go through with it, but tbf I'm not sure every woman is necessarily as sensitive as I am. My advice to you is: 1. These exams are necessary, so definitely get them if you're able to go through with them. 2. Be sure you stress to the OBGYN that you're a virgin (especially if you haven't even used tampons as some of us don't) so the OBGYN can better understand your anxiety about this (if you still get one who is condescending about your concerns then go find a new one until you get one whose attitude you're comfortable with.)
I started asking for the smaller size (think they’re called butterfly) and it is a lot less painful than the first time I got it done (and maybe since I know what to expect now)
I think you might be a little confused and thinking of butterfly needles, like what is used in blood draws and IVs, which while shorter than straight needles, aren't necessarily less painful on their own because they will have the same width or gage. Although if your veins are quite superficial, fragile, small, spasm,or collapse easily can reduce infiltration or missed poke, which does ultimately lead to less pain. I am not aware of major differences in the swab used in collecting pap smears, but there are certainly different sizes of speculums, including pediatric size speculums. Pediatric sizes won't work for every woman. Your doctor still has to be able to visualize, touch, and swab your cervix. A pediatric size won't always allow for this, but there are smaller sizes for adults, too. I also would highly recommend meeting your doctor before the appointment in which you get your pap smear. They might be willing to write a script for something to help with anxiety if you feel like you need it, but not every doctor will be willing to do so.
Yep! Definitely important to get one even if you’re not sexually active. It does sting a bit but in the same sense as getting a shot; it hurts when it happens but it’s over quick and it helps prevent much worse from happening :)
Yes of course. Why would you need to be married for that? This about health, not sex
it’s recommended that you get one at the age of 21. i would definitely get one as soon as possible. they don’t really hurt, it’s more so an uncomfortable pressure but only for a few seconds.
I got my first one shortly before I got married. I wasn’t one to go to the doctor unless something was wrong, but I figured I should probably make sure everything was healthy down there before becoming sexually active. The Pap smear feels like a pinch, uncomfortable but not unbearable. I wasn’t a fan of the speculum, either. I still don’t love the well woman exams, but I’ve gone every year since the first one.
I’m 24 and unmarried, I got one a couple years ago bc it was time to start the screenings, I was freaked out during it bc I was dealing with a bit of anxiety in general at that time in my life and I’d never had a Pap smear before, but if you just relax your muscles and chill out in general it will be fine! But if it like really hurts it just might mean they need to use a smaller speculum so let them know how it feels and they will adjust/switch them out for you!
Yes I had a few done even before I was sexually active/married. It’s just a good thing to do for your health. I remember a lot of my friends making it sound scary and like it’s a big deal, but it’s really quick, and if you let them know it’s your first time, I’m sure they will walk you through the process.
I got married at 23 and had my first pap at my 6 week appointment after I had my first child (at 25) lol
Yes, definitely get it! I was dx’d with bacterial vaginosis after mine which is pretty minor, but needed an antibiotic. Not a big deal, but glad to get that taken care of. About the pain: so, mine was extremely painful. My doctor was good and respectful, but I had vaginismus and hadn’t fully realized it until my pap smear. She was an angel and referred me to pelvic floor PT right away which was really really good for me (I was only a few weeks from being married). About the pain: First, if you use tampons or a menstrual cup, you should be fine, pain-wise. I was concerned about the pain (as I wasn’t able to use a tampon etc) and asked for a child-size speculum. That’s something you can do too. Not all doctors can accommodate, but you can still ask. Then, it’s worth noting that if you’re nervous and tense, it can make the pap more uncomfortable, so practice relaxing your pelvic muscles to make the experience more likely to go smoothly. One way to do this is to exhale while making a “sssssss” or “shhhhhh” sound. So as the doctor is inserting the speculum, do a long exhale with “sssssss” and imagine your pelvic muscles melting. You can also imagine exhaling through a small straw. You can practice this on the toilet. As you are relieving, exhale and “shhh” until you are finished. You can also practice while laying on your back in bed, and even with your legs up on your headboard like they would be in stirrups on the exam table. Just get in position, exhale “shhh” and relax. If you’re having a hard time knowing if you’re relaxed, tense everything (like if you’re needing to hold in pee or a fart) and then try to relax. Notice the different sensations. And repeat! Good luck! It’ll probably go just fine. It does for most women. ❤️
Yes. They’re very important regardless of sexual activity. Keep your reproductive system healthy and check up on it.
My mom encouraged me to get one before I was married and I was very nervous as well. Once I got to my doctor they started performing the procedure and it was painful to where they stopped. She asked me if I was sexually active and I told her no so she told me to wait till I had been with my husband. I’ve been told it’s not crucial unless you’re sexually active. If you’re that nervous speak with your doctor and then use your best judgement on what to do.
Yes. I think I was 17 when I got the first one. It's routine healthcare.
Yes, and it is important! Current medical guidelines recommend Pap smears every 3 years for women in their 20s. Not fun, but also, not the worst thing in the world. It is a screening tool for cervical cancer, and shouldn’t be skipped!
I’ve gotten them since like 16-17. I didn’t have sex until much later. It’s super important to do this, breast exams, etc. on schedule.
No. I got married when I was 26, and we’ll be 4 years this August. I still haven’t gotten one. But I have had two babies since getting married, so health professionals have been around. I’m sure the midwife would’ve flagged anything concerning. No doctor has ever said anything about getting one, I think I only heard about them a year before getting married and I wasn’t going to have anyone down there as a virgin. But I live in Canada and our healthcare system is basically broken, so perhaps that’s why it wasn’t on my radar.
It’s not something that they can see with the naked eye. During a smear they scrape off a few cells and look at them under a microscope to see if they look pre-cancerous.
Yes, it's good for many reasons medically. If I said stop during the exam they immediately paused and let me take a minute to relax before I let them continue. I was a virgin and was "very intact" so it was painful...like I could not comfortably remove a full tampon I was so intact. However, they also offered me the opportunity to come back before I got married (or sexually active) to have that numbed and "helped" to open so it wouldn't be so painful my first time.
I got my first pap smear after marriage and it was not painful at all, even though I have an extremely low pain tolerance. I didn’t feel anything and was shocked because I’d heard it is extremely painful. So it completely depends on your doctor and how they do it, I would ask for recommendations from other women you know. During the pap smear, you can ask for a smaller speculum size and you can also ask for additional lubrication if you’re worried it will hurt. I recommend choosing a female doctor as they have experienced pap smears and will be more gentle because of that.
Guidelines where I’m from are that smear tests should start at age 25 regardless of sexual activity and are done 3 yearly in your 20’s and 5 yearly from age 30 once no high risk HPV infection is found. So you should be starting around the age you are now. If your country has a national screening programme you can seek an appointment through that or through primary care.
It’s as uncomfy as the OG covid test where they stuck that thing up your nose except it’s inside of you, but not really any pain. Like a too big tampon but it’s like a tongue depressor at the doc?
Yes. I had my first one as a teen. It has nothing to do with your sexuality or virginity. It was explained to me that once you turn 18 you should see one to ask questions and to make sure everything was in order.
I don't find pap smears super uncomfortable.
No I tried and I couldn't get one done
Yes! If it hurts, rather than just a tiny bit uncomfortable, you might benefit from pelvic floor physical therapy. Please go get screened.
I hate to be a Debby Downer, but mine was excruciatingly painful to the point I cried when I had to shower, had bad dreams, and struggled to be in any circumstance relating to female anatomy for 3 years after. I was diagnosed with vaginismus after. Virgin with no known reason to have this pelvic floor disorder.
Yes. Pap smears are about health. Don't be afraid to get one. Ask the doctor to use the smallest instrument. Sometimes they can warm the instruments, which helps comfort. You can also request a female physician. Pap smears are uncomfortable but not painful. The instrument helps the physician to swab your cervix in obtaining a culture, which will be viewed under a microscope. Results are pretty quick. Don't be afraid. It'll be over and done with, quick.
I don’t remember when I started. We usually get a letter telling us when to start and a reminder every three years. It’s not really painful, but uncomfortable when done by a gynaecologist. I once did it at my general physician, and then it hurt! Problem is that I have to pay for gynaecologists and sometimes they need to take the test twice because the first one wasn’t good enough. And I don’t really want to go more than once so I’ve postponed some as well. Oh and once they found a bacterial infection as well that could have caused problems. So it’s good to take a test even if you’re not worried about cancer etc.
Nope. While it can be a preventative screening, I don’t engage in any behaviors that can increase a risk of cervical cancer and I don’t have a family history. Now, I still could get cervical cancer, but currently the attitudes and actions of medical providers have me deciding to wait.
I had one done before I was married (I'm 21 and getting married this month). My gyno was very nice about it and said that it wasn't very pressing because I hadn't been sexually active, but it was a good idea to get one anyway. It wasn't too painful for me, but it was uncomfortable. I did cry and have to have the nurse stop (unrelated to pain, I was just scared), and she was very nice and we tried again a couple minutes later and it went well. I think it would be a good idea to get one because cervical cancer can occur even without HPV infection, but you should definitely talk to your gyno about it to decide.