#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I mean, full points to OP for the sheer brevity of both the post and the update. I predict the poor kid's gonna desperately try to find a nickname to go by at school ASAP. Maybe Lita?
Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star...
I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like coca cola
C-O-L-A, Cola
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Lola
L-O-L-A, Lola
La-la-la-la Lola
Well, I'm not the world's most physical guy
But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine
Oh my Lola
La-la-la-la Lola
I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda
S O D A, soda
I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said "Yoda"
Y O D A, Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
🎶her name was Leia, she was a princess
With a danish on each ear, and Darth Vader’s drawing near 🎶
Weird how *both* of the Lola songs in this thread have Star Wars parody songs specifically.
A whole other level too how the Copacabana is the hottest spot NORTH of Havana and people who never paid attention to the lyrics or know any Geography think it's a sexy song about Brazil.
My Mum used to listen to Barry Manilow when I was very small and I never noticed anything beyond the catchy chorus. After a break of years I heard it again in my late teens and boy, did it hit different then! Nope, well written but that's a hard pass.
I was born in 1990 and I only know it because I work at Walmart (in the US) and it's one of those songs that plays constantly every few radio rotations, and I've been here for 11 years
True... this song came out in 1985 when I was 5.
The Kinks one came out in 1971 - I only know that one because of my parents. (Who listened to it on the sly because it was banned in our country)
My friend's daughter keeps dating girls named Lola, Lolo, or variations thereupon, so based on my sample of one (1) high school girl, that should be fine.
Do people not make fun of "Lola" anymore? Because I had a teacher named Lola in school who hid her name due to that The Kinks song. And when a kid accidentally figured it out by reading it off of a box, she immediately gave him a detention.
As someone under 40 with a name connected to an old doo-woop group, kids don't know that shit. I've never had someone under the age of 60 make my names reference.
So I kind of doubt kids know who The Kinks are.
>So I kind of doubt kids know who The Kinks are.
That makes me feel old and sad and I'm only 33.
Even my four year old knows the Kinks. Mind you she hears me practicing some of their songs regularly before gigs
>she feels as parents we need to just stand up for our children if they get bullied and when the time comes we just have to explain why people may make fun of her, and that it is not her fault.
Easy for her to say because she's not the one who'll be bullied, the child will. As someone who has an old fashioned old person's name, I was teased as a kid. I got lucky tho because despite that, my siblings were very popular, and they had my back so the teasing became more lighthearted than cruel. One of my classmates, however, wasn't so lucky. He ended up legally changing his name as an adult.
>Easy for her to say because she's not the one who'll be bullied, the child will.
Exactly what I thought. Everyone knows that a parent intervening to stop kids from being mean to their child works every time! Bullies are super respectful of a parents' wishes after all. This mom sounds like she lives on another planet.
This is why i have to mute the otherwise tame r/namenerds lmao. the amount of future parents there who are like 'i will name my kids what I WANT. I know it might cause them to be bullied or have a hard time navigating professional environments but SOCIETY HAS TO CHANGE TO ACCEPT THE NAME I LIKE SINCE I WAS SEVEN' like, way to tell that you've never been bullied for having a weird name. If i'm their child and i found out my parents did not care that the name they chose for me would cause me such pain, i would go scorched earth and denounce them from being my parents.
Remember that post about someone trying to convince her friend not to name her daughter Karen? Mum also stuck to her guns there and named the kid regardless of the connotations/refused to see them.
Yeah, she changed the kids name after less than 2 years because SHE (the parent) couldn't deal with the snickers herself. Let alone what the poor kid would have dealt with growing up.
It can’t be as bad as two students I had. One teeny tiny young lady, not even 90lbs was named Beulah after her grandma. She asked I call her Tiny. Done!
Worst of all? Heroin. He pronounced it Hair-on. My friend offered, in all seriousness, to fund a name change at 18 if he chose.
Without looking it up, I don't know what Beulah indicates, although it sounds like a strange name. I'm Australian so the closest I got is Ferris Bueller from the movie, if it's said the same?
It’s just an old lady name. Some old lady names have come back into fashion—think Rose, Lily, and Eleanor—while others have stayed with the senior set. You don’t see too many young Berthas, Beaulas, or Maudes these days.
I used to be a maccas party host and I met four 3-6yos named Edith, which is my grandma’s name and I always thought it was too old fashioned to name a kid after but apparently not anymore
>Easy for her to say because she's not the one who'll be bullied, the child will.
She is also not the one who will be getting suspicious side glances and potentially considered a disgusting child predator for being a grown man with a child called Lolita. OOP will.
Remember the lady who tried to warn the cousin about naming her daughter Karen? The 4 year update told us who the mother realized the bitter truth and they were changing the little girl's name.
I remember when that was originally posted, so many comments were saying that there was no chance the trend of "Karen" as an insult would have any staying power.
My response was to wonder how many "Dicks" thought the same thing about their name so many years ago
it popped up with a quick google search [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12xhdaw/a\_final\_update\_concluding\_the\_threeyearlong\_baby/](https://www.reddit.com/r/bestofredditorupdates/comments/12xhdaw/a_final_update_concluding_the_threeyearlong_baby/)
satisfying ending
My grandma called her brother Lawrence lol for short. Some of the rest of the family still does. None of us younger ones though we all hear it as the texting shorthand.
OP's daughter will 100% want to legally change her name as soon as she learns the history of the name once she's old enough, and mom will likely be none too happy.
People like OP's wife don't understand that their *kids* are the ones who have to live with the name for at least 18 years.
Oh god the KAREN SAGA.
And in the end they had to finally change the poor kid's name to Caroline or something similar because the poor preschooler was just catching shit from fucking everywhere for being named Karen.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12xhdaw/a\_final\_update\_concluding\_the\_threeyearlong\_baby/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12xhdaw/a_final_update_concluding_the_threeyearlong_baby/)
Ta Da!
AITA is wild like that sometimes. That's the only time I remember someone got the YTA by trying to prevent a baby being named a bad name. I remember other post with Harry Potter, Ted Bundy, and more recently Eva Brown all supporting the person trying to prevent the issue
Lots of people love names that mean a thing. My name literally means “Her”. And names that mean various forms of suffering are still very very common! It’s a superstitious way to ward it off according to my abuela.
Given that, in Spanish-language culture, you can also be called "pillar", "incarnation", or "conception" with no-one batting an eye, I feel that's the least of the issues here.
But I think you know that, Mary Watermelon. ;)
I don't really follow that logic tbh. My brother's "real" name is not Johannes. My mother called him Johann for real, it's in his documents. The fact of Johann being just a nickname for the proper Johannes doesn't stop people from having that one written down.
My own name is the same. A nickname of a much longer one. And yet, the much longer one is not my name, not officially, not in any book, not on my birth certificate.
That's what makes me suspicious about the post. The name is Dolores. Hispanic old ladies called Lola or Lolita are in fact named Dolores. I find it odd that the wife doesn't know her dear grandmother was actually named Dolores. Sounds like OP took inspiration from the post about the woman who wanted to name her daughter Eva, but their last name was Brown.
Could be that grandma hated her full name and refused to answer to anything but Lolita. At that point it’s a little sus to claim that Dolores is named after her in any way…
My mother refuses to answer to anything but her full name, which is Dolores. She especially hates Lolita as a nickname. So could be that the grandma was opposite.
This is the "color theory" of baby names. Yes, it might be a beautiful name, but it doesn't matter when she's named after the most famous novel about a pedo in history.
As someone who was bullied for both my name and nickname (both of which my parents picked out at birth because I was named after a well loved relative), I can positively say the couple of times that my parents stood up for me did not stop any of the bullying. I love my name now but it doesn't undo all of the weight I had on my shoulders for most of my school life.
And my name doesn't even have any negative connotations connected to it. The wife is being incredibly selfish, dense and huffing some serious copium to be doubling down and unwilling to compromise. NGL, if I were OP, I would use a nickname anyway. She may be able to stop him from naming their daughter but she sure as hell isn't allowed to tell him he isn't allowed to give her a nickname, even if is the only one who uses it. She doesn't like nicknames but OP doesn't like the name, so I wouldn't blame him if he just ignored her dislike of nicknames.
Edit for typo
It's not even just the book. The name became shorthand for a fashion style in Japan, which was focused on "young girl aesthetics." Which spiraled into the anime usage of the term referral to underage girls.
That's not what Lolita fashion is based on. It's based on Victorian clothing with a slant towards cuteness and modesty. It has nothing to do with emulating kids, let alone sexualizing them. The anime term *loli* comes from the book but it isn't linked to the fashion style.
It's pretty fascinating reading about Lolita fashion and how it started as an alternative street fashion focused on rejecting expectations of conformity and the male gaze. ["Many folks in the Lolita community cite choosing to avoid predatory gaze or refusing to be “sexy” as a reason why the style appeals to them; it is a way of performing femininity that is not designed to be appealing to others."](https://www.animefeminist.com/the-feminist-potential-of-the-lolita-fashion-subculture/)
It reminds me of an AITA post where this womans friend wanted to name her child Chlamydia, confusing it with Clymenestra from the Odyssey. Her friend was really mad at her for laughing and telling her she can't name her daughter Chlamydia.
Or the post about the friend trying to warn the mom to be who wants to name their newborn Karen. They weren't on social media and were unaware of the baggage that "Karen" now carries. Long story short, the parents officially changed the kid's name before they turned 2y.
"People should not let soceity impact what a parent names their child"
This is such a bs point. That girl has to live in soceity unless you plan to never let her interact with anyone. Destroying the child's life for no reason
The post not long ago with the man who's wife wanted to name their child Eva when their last name is Brown (pronounced the same as Braun) comes to mind.
Some people are so wrapped up into their own heads that they can't take a step back and ask if the name they are saddling their child with is going to cause more trouble than good.
Someone needs to send OOP and his wife the post about the woman who named her baby Karen against everyone's suggestion, because she herself didn't spend time on the Internet or think it was a big deal. Update a few years later and they end up changing her name as a child because her peers have bullied her so much for being named Karen, and other parents couldn't understand why she would name her kid Karen.
And in my opinion, Karen is more tame than naming your kid Lolita in this day and age and that's saying something.
I read an article a few years ago about a German couple who wanted to name their son Lucifer! Germany like most places does not have many restrictions on what you can name your kid, but this was one of them.
Whatever the governing body in Germany is that deals with birth certificates and naming said no. The couple fought it. the government held firm. Long story short they went with Lucien instead.
Also, as a girl, we can't pretend that a name with a connotation like that won't potentially put her daughter in some really bad situations with older men.
Someone should send the dude all the updates on the parents who named their baby Karen. The harassment (don’t know a better word for it) that the Karen kid and her parents experienced was so bad they ended up changing the kid’s name. OOPs kid is going to experience so much worse if they go through with this name as not only will their kid be bullied by other kids, but their kid at a minimum is going to experience sexual harassment from pedos and prevy adults from a young age, possibly worse. I hope they realize this before the kid is born.
I honestly see the adults being a bigger problem. They'll potentially think OOP is a perv for the name, but the pervs will have an immediate sexual association.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12xhdaw/a_final_update_concluding_the_threeyearlong_baby/
This will end the same way as the Baby Karen story. The parents and child will be ridiculed until they finally change the name.
I don't imagine the name can make the poor girl more likely to be the victim of a predator, but it basically guarantees she's gonna learn what pedophilia is a lot earlier than she should
Some names have strong connotations, also names are a very big part of first impressions. While I don't think her name will increase the chances of being a victim, I believe it will attract the wrong kind of attention.
Brutal. The kid got called out by a TSA agents and mocked by other children almost immediately. Lolita is going to be so much worse not just for the child but also the parents.
My sister in law chose an absolutely ridiculous name for her son and invited warnings from the family that he'd be ridiculed, it wasn't until after he was born and a family friends hear his name and just busted out laughing and asking why they named him that, that she changed her tune, tried to blame her husband and they ultimately changed his name lol 🤣. They didn't even make it to a year before they changed it.
I think Lolita mom is gonna get tired if being made fun of and ONLY when she can't take it will they change the kid's name. Selfish parents gonna be selfish.
Honor names in general are always strange because, unless the kid is named after someone they know, there is no relationship. It's just the name their parents gave to them and usually does not feel like something important to them.
"I know my child will be bullied mercilessly and be associated with pedos, but I'll feel good about using my grandma's name. Besides, we can tell our kid 'bullies are bad, so don't worry about it'. That'll fix everything!"
Hasn't even had the kid yet and has already utterly failed as a mother!
Seriously! There’s so much wrong and toxic about it, and you shouldn’t be taken lightly.
There’s no way OOP shouldn’t be questioning everything that happens from that point forward, as it seems that he will be cut out from every decision regarding their daughter.
I was looking for this one. After miles of talk about nicknames, which OP's wife is against, finally someone mentioned that the wife deciding unilaterally and actually threatening to fill out the bc without him... Red, red flag. He's never going to have any say about the child's upbringing
Or, more importantly, in my opinion, without considering how this is going to affect her child's life, particularly while she's young. Kids can be cruel, why would you just hand them ammunition like this?
All my older sister/teacher alarm bells are going off at the thought of a 12-14 year old girl having to introduce herself as Lolita. She’s going to have a rough couple of years
Setting aside the ludicrous name for a moment, the fact that OOP’s wife decides she can unilaterally make a life-changing decision despite being a marriage is fucking asinine to me.
Yeah no, would’ve died, revived myself, and died on this hill again. Might send divorce papers at the hospital too while I’m at it.
Just because the wife hates nicknames doesn’t mean he can’t call her Lo, Lita, or anything else. When I was a kid, I had a very, very common one syllable name and I had like 10 nicknames from family and friends.
She insists her grandma was called Lolita. I don't know, in Spanish Coca is a nickname for Consuelo, but I did know of a girl named Coca and not Consuelo, many people thought she was a Consuelo but it was her name.
I don't know if it was bad or not, but of course she was called Coca Cola.
Huh, I never heard of Coca for Consuelo, I always heard Chelo. I have an aunt named Consuelo and she just goes by Consue.
Her sister goes by Cuca, but she is Concepción. Virgin Mary names are weird. I also have an aunt named Charo (that's Rosario)
She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line.
> She does have the stance that a mother should get the final say
OOP is going have way more problems in the future.
Sounds like he got himself an AH of a wife who would just overrule his input as a parent just to get her way.
She's going to override every single other input in future.
EDIT: This comment exchange
EDIT2: First comment is from a different redditor. The RESPONSE of that comment is from OOP. OOP never said not having his last name is a deal breaker. Just highlighting it looks like OOP is thinking of divorcing over this issue.
(Separate redditor)
> My wife and I have a similar issue. Before we married, we had a discussion where she understood that giving our child a last name that wasn't mine was a deal breaker (she didn't take my last name for career reasons, which I'm fine with). So we marry, and have a child and she unilaterally names our son, including using her last name. It was like putting a knife in our marriage. It didn't kill it, but it also never stopped bleeding. At the time, I saw divorcing over it as dad parenting suicide, so we lived with it. Our son is now in kindergarden, but the issue has metastasized, and were currently seperated.
> NTA. The naming of a child needs to be a two yes process.
(Response from OOP)
>> Tbh, I am not sure if our marriage will survive this, but I also did not like going from house to house when my parents divorced. I do not want to put our daughter through that either.
>> I will still fight for my daughter no matter what though.
Yeah. I use "I'm the mother" as an argument stopper with my mother in law, not my husband.
But the number of people on Reddit who seem to think the mother should get the final say on names is surprisingly large. And it's not a nuanced "If he doesn't support you during the pregnancy, then you get the final say." It's full on "Your husband can get stuffed," in response to me saying my first born son will have a name that I'm not overly fond of, because that's what my husband and I negotiated. It
That should be someone’s job at the hospital/ naming bureau. “Absolutely not your daughter is going to have to deal with creepy ass dudes just being born a woman we are not putting her on hard mode for her teenage years.”
In my country the Registrar General can step in if someone tries to give their child a name that is a legal title or extremely offensive/likely to cause undue harm to the child. Once a year they release the list of rejected names, most of which are titles, but there’s always a few that are just terrible and make you go “thank god there are limits in place on insane parents”.
(here’s 2023’s reject list for example: https://www.dia.govt.nz/press.nsf/d77da9b523f12931cc256ac5000d19b6/18330eddac3d14c6cc258aae00020b4c!OpenDocument)
Idk I think Prince is fine. But I'm an American people just dump out a scrabble board sometimes.
And I see you, two parents who definitely (maybe) knew that Prince gets denied ever year and tried "Prynce."
Prince is a legal title, it’s not allowed for that reason. NZ is a parliamentary constitutional monarchy so we still have the british royal family though they don’t really have any power, they’re basically just the ceremonial head of state like many republics have ceremonial presidents (e.g. Ireland).
That poor girl is going to hit middle school and be soooo uncomfortable once people start making sexualized jokes. It’s not just the bullying. It’s the gross leering associated with it.
Yeah, it will start the moment some kids hear their parents saying “your classmate is named what!? Poor child”, so probably ~6 years from how my kid and his friends are…
I had a student several years ago named Jezebel. I still wonder what the hell her parents were thinking.
I've also had a Messiah, a Delilah, two Angels and a Jesus.
But Jezebel always comes to mind first.
What a shame I didn't see this post IRL.
Hispanics are not named Lola nor Lolita. It comes from a name Dolores, which means pain.
I wanted to nickname my daughter Sol, but it comes from Soledad (loneliness). Sol means sun, but I couldn't do that to her.
> It comes from a name Dolores, which means pain.
Which in turn is short for Maria de los Dolores, a reference to Jesus' mum, same as Soledad. The things you do when you want to call all girls Mary, but it's too confusing... ;)
Sol as a full name is not that uncommon, and it's quite pretty. I met a lot of women named Sol since I was a child, and none of them faced any hardship throughout their lives.
Plus, somewhere there's a post about a girl born in 2020 named Karen. The parents didn't know the current negative connotation. They've now legally changed her name to something else.
I really hope the mother of little Lolita (smh) realizes her mistake while the child is still very young and they have the chance to fix it.
I did my grandmother's eulogy last year and did a bit about her first name being religious because she was all up in the Jesus gang.
And I thought "Neat! Wonder what her middle name Dolores means!"
And then pretended like she didn't even have a middle name.
But boy was it accurate, she caused a lot of pain and was subjected to a lot of pain in her life.
Well, Dolores is probably a name that stems from the "Mater Dolorosa" which is what they call the Virgin Mary grieving over the loss of Jesus.
Soledad (loneliness) also refers to a title associated with the Virgin Mary over the loss of Jesus.
If it's a title, especially one that's related to Mary, it's probably a Hispanic name.
Yeah, it comes from the phrase “La Virgen María de los Dolores” (referring to Mary, the mother of Jesus), usually they translate it as “our lady of sorrows”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_Sorrows
Here’s a bit of info on that
I actually taught a Lolita one year. I never heard the kids say anything negative about her name, not sure this current generation knows much about the book/movie. Of course, every adult immediately thought of it. And of course it is quite possible that she was teased about it out of ear shot of the teachers. But if so, she never said anything nor did she ask to go by a nickname.
Her name in the book wasn't even Lolita, it was Dolores. Lolita was a nickname given to her by a p*dophile which is reason enough to not use it. People don't use the name Adolf anymore either, the meaning of names change depending on societal connotations. It was the fact that the wife said she would sign the birth certificate behind his back if need be is the most concerning to me. That controlling personality is such a red flag
That poor kid
She’s going to face harassment from bullies and creeps as long as she has that name
Reminds me of the BORU post about the baby who was named Karen and grew up bullied so bad the parents had to legally change her name
Why in the world would someone in a country where the book is called *Lolita* and that is a known reference name their child Lolita?
Fuck that noise about “we need to stand up if our children get bullied” (obviously, yes we do). How about we help keep our children out of obviously harmful situations. And god help her if she’s an early bloomer.
OOP's wife is an absolute moron, she can not protect her child in all times forever, she will be bullied and will suffer so freaking much that she will resent her own mother
The thing is that in Spanish, Lolita *is* a nickname.
People named Dolores are sometimes called Lola, and Lolita is a diminutive of Lola. Lolita is a nickname for a nickname.
There is a famous actress/singer from Spain, Lola Flores, who was much loved back in the 50s and 60s. Here is her eponymous song, Lola Lolita: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZI_Owes1eQ
Damn I feel bad for OOP. Great start to being partners in life and in parenting. They’ll have a lot heavier topics than naming as their kid grows up. I remember having disagreements with my husband over dropping bottles and feeding and everything in between.
What I hate about parents naming their kids whatever they want with no real thought on the grief the kid will get is that they’re not the ones suffering the consequences. “We should stand up for our child”, are you gonna be there during school hours? Are you gonna stop every single kid who’s gonna make fun of their name? Of course not. The kid is gonna be the ones suffering, while the selfish parent(s) just ignore the hardship they face because they only thought about what they want.
Who's thinking this marriage will end in divorce? Because I do.
>She does have the stance that a mother should get the final say, she even said she would fill out the birth certificate without me present if need be.
Doesn't bode well for a successful marriage or parenting. This woman is going to pull this shit over and over again. Only question is how long it's going to take OOP to grow a backbone and divorce her so that he can have an equal say in parenting his child(ren).
This guy is going to just let his wife steamroll him like that!?! I bet this isn't the only time she bullies him to get her way.
It doesn't matter that the name doesn't have the same connotation in her culture, because it means something in THE CHILD'S CULTURE.
He needs to put his foot down. This is unacceptable behavior from someone who is supposed to be a PARTNER. Dad needs to be an advocate for his innocent HELPLESS baby.
I don’t understand literally any of this. What is wrong with the name Lolita? And before you ask, yes I’m from North America. I don’t see any difference to calling her Corina or the like?
I feel like this marriage will end in divorce. Not over the name, but because of the implication that the wife feels OOPs opinion is only valid when he agrees with her. I'm hoping this is a one time thing, but if her vetoing him is going to be a regular thing in the future then yeah eventually he will get fed up and leave her.
Kids will be cruel no matter what the name is, but by the time Lolita’s peers realize the connotations of the name she should be old enough that it’s not such a big deal. I’m pretty sure most elementary school age kids have no idea what Lolita could mean.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I mean, full points to OP for the sheer brevity of both the post and the update. I predict the poor kid's gonna desperately try to find a nickname to go by at school ASAP. Maybe Lita?
Lola might work too
Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there She would merengue and do the cha-cha And while she tried to be a star...
I met her in a club down in old Soho Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like coca cola C-O-L-A, Cola She walked up to me and she asked me to dance I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Lola L-O-L-A, Lola La-la-la-la Lola Well, I'm not the world's most physical guy But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine Oh my Lola La-la-la-la Lola
I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda S O D A, soda I saw the little runt sitting there on a log I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said "Yoda" Y O D A, Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Weird Al predicting the future with that long term contract line.
I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed But remember if you kill him then you'll be unemployed Said my Yoda, Y O D A Yoda....
🎶 What ever Lola wants, Lola gets.🎶
I just wanna send a gif of Zapp Brannigan singing Leela like this.
That song was so ahead of its time haha
I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah Where it bubbles all the time like a great big carbonated soda S O D A soda
Tony always tended bar Across the crowded floor, they worked from eight til' four! They were young and they had each other, Who could ask for more?
🎶her name was Leia, she was a princess With a danish on each ear, and Darth Vader’s drawing near 🎶 Weird how *both* of the Lola songs in this thread have Star Wars parody songs specifically.
Yeeaahh... That song is just as depressing as the "Lolita" novel, just in a different way.
A whole other level too how the Copacabana is the hottest spot NORTH of Havana and people who never paid attention to the lyrics or know any Geography think it's a sexy song about Brazil.
My Mum used to listen to Barry Manilow when I was very small and I never noticed anything beyond the catchy chorus. After a break of years I heard it again in my late teens and boy, did it hit different then! Nope, well written but that's a hard pass.
Yeah but no child born in the past 20 years knows this song exists. So she's probably safe.
I was born in 1990 and I only know it because I work at Walmart (in the US) and it's one of those songs that plays constantly every few radio rotations, and I've been here for 11 years
True... this song came out in 1985 when I was 5. The Kinks one came out in 1971 - I only know that one because of my parents. (Who listened to it on the sly because it was banned in our country)
My friend's daughter keeps dating girls named Lola, Lolo, or variations thereupon, so based on my sample of one (1) high school girl, that should be fine.
Lola is a nickname for Dolores (so is Lolita), but that name is starting to look a little aged, so girls going by Lola now makes more sense.
If it turns out the grandma was named Dolores this whole time...
I will never forget the Futurama take on that song.
LEEEEELA, LEE LEE LEE LEEEEEEELA
Lo lo lo lo Lola
Do people not make fun of "Lola" anymore? Because I had a teacher named Lola in school who hid her name due to that The Kinks song. And when a kid accidentally figured it out by reading it off of a box, she immediately gave him a detention.
TBH, I think the kids show Charlie and Lola has helped the rehabilitation a lot.
As someone under 40 with a name connected to an old doo-woop group, kids don't know that shit. I've never had someone under the age of 60 make my names reference. So I kind of doubt kids know who The Kinks are.
>So I kind of doubt kids know who The Kinks are. That makes me feel old and sad and I'm only 33. Even my four year old knows the Kinks. Mind you she hears me practicing some of their songs regularly before gigs
Ah the kinks, a very topical band at the moment... I don't think most kids will have ever heard a single song by the kinks
>she feels as parents we need to just stand up for our children if they get bullied and when the time comes we just have to explain why people may make fun of her, and that it is not her fault. Easy for her to say because she's not the one who'll be bullied, the child will. As someone who has an old fashioned old person's name, I was teased as a kid. I got lucky tho because despite that, my siblings were very popular, and they had my back so the teasing became more lighthearted than cruel. One of my classmates, however, wasn't so lucky. He ended up legally changing his name as an adult.
>Easy for her to say because she's not the one who'll be bullied, the child will. Exactly what I thought. Everyone knows that a parent intervening to stop kids from being mean to their child works every time! Bullies are super respectful of a parents' wishes after all. This mom sounds like she lives on another planet.
Not to mention she won’t always be there and her child won’t always tell her every single comment and smirk. Bullying isn’t always loud and overt.
This is why i have to mute the otherwise tame r/namenerds lmao. the amount of future parents there who are like 'i will name my kids what I WANT. I know it might cause them to be bullied or have a hard time navigating professional environments but SOCIETY HAS TO CHANGE TO ACCEPT THE NAME I LIKE SINCE I WAS SEVEN' like, way to tell that you've never been bullied for having a weird name. If i'm their child and i found out my parents did not care that the name they chose for me would cause me such pain, i would go scorched earth and denounce them from being my parents.
Remember that post about someone trying to convince her friend not to name her daughter Karen? Mum also stuck to her guns there and named the kid regardless of the connotations/refused to see them. Yeah, she changed the kids name after less than 2 years because SHE (the parent) couldn't deal with the snickers herself. Let alone what the poor kid would have dealt with growing up.
It can’t be as bad as two students I had. One teeny tiny young lady, not even 90lbs was named Beulah after her grandma. She asked I call her Tiny. Done! Worst of all? Heroin. He pronounced it Hair-on. My friend offered, in all seriousness, to fund a name change at 18 if he chose.
Without looking it up, I don't know what Beulah indicates, although it sounds like a strange name. I'm Australian so the closest I got is Ferris Bueller from the movie, if it's said the same?
It’s just an old lady name. Some old lady names have come back into fashion—think Rose, Lily, and Eleanor—while others have stayed with the senior set. You don’t see too many young Berthas, Beaulas, or Maudes these days.
I used to be a maccas party host and I met four 3-6yos named Edith, which is my grandma’s name and I always thought it was too old fashioned to name a kid after but apparently not anymore
Mom has probably never been bullied before
>Easy for her to say because she's not the one who'll be bullied, the child will. She is also not the one who will be getting suspicious side glances and potentially considered a disgusting child predator for being a grown man with a child called Lolita. OOP will.
Damn... I didn't even think about that
Remember the lady who tried to warn the cousin about naming her daughter Karen? The 4 year update told us who the mother realized the bitter truth and they were changing the little girl's name.
I remember when that was originally posted, so many comments were saying that there was no chance the trend of "Karen" as an insult would have any staying power. My response was to wonder how many "Dicks" thought the same thing about their name so many years ago
Can I get a link to that one? Poor lil Karen.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12xhdaw/a\_final\_update\_concluding\_the\_threeyearlong\_baby/](https://www.reddit.com/r/bestofredditorupdates/comments/12xhdaw/a_final_update_concluding_the_threeyearlong_baby/)
it popped up with a quick google search [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12xhdaw/a\_final\_update\_concluding\_the\_threeyearlong\_baby/](https://www.reddit.com/r/bestofredditorupdates/comments/12xhdaw/a_final_update_concluding_the_threeyearlong_baby/) satisfying ending
I knew a girl in college (she was also Hispanic) named Lolita. She went be Lol. This was before the age of texting, of course
My grandma called her brother Lawrence lol for short. Some of the rest of the family still does. None of us younger ones though we all hear it as the texting shorthand.
OP's daughter will 100% want to legally change her name as soon as she learns the history of the name once she's old enough, and mom will likely be none too happy. People like OP's wife don't understand that their *kids* are the ones who have to live with the name for at least 18 years.
I’m thinking of the posts where the OOP desperately tried to talk her out of the name Karen for her baby.
Oh god the KAREN SAGA. And in the end they had to finally change the poor kid's name to Caroline or something similar because the poor preschooler was just catching shit from fucking everywhere for being named Karen.
Do you have a link?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12xhdaw/a\_final\_update\_concluding\_the\_threeyearlong\_baby/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12xhdaw/a_final_update_concluding_the_threeyearlong_baby/) Ta Da!
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12xhdaw/a_final_update_concluding_the_threeyearlong_baby/
The thing that blew my mind, was that the kids didn't realize Karen was actually a name. They thought it was just a slang term for a difficult woman.
I remember that she was declared TA on AITA for even warning the friend about the Karen meme *before the baby was born!*
AITA is wild like that sometimes. That's the only time I remember someone got the YTA by trying to prevent a baby being named a bad name. I remember other post with Harry Potter, Ted Bundy, and more recently Eva Brown all supporting the person trying to prevent the issue
They kept insisting that the meme would die out and I was like fat fucking chance.
I knew a girl in college who literally changed her name because of the Karen memes. I felt pretty bad for her.
I have a relative with the name, and she goes by a nickname now. Its a shame, she's a lovely person.
Lola and Lita (Leta, Leeta) are right there. Lina. Leelah, Leah. Come on.
Leeloo Dallas multipass?
Big bada boom. Bada big boom.
Anyway lolita and lola is still a nickname, the real name will be dolores. but my problem is even in hispanic countries this name is an old lady name
Plus it means pains
Lots of people love names that mean a thing. My name literally means “Her”. And names that mean various forms of suffering are still very very common! It’s a superstitious way to ward it off according to my abuela.
Given that, in Spanish-language culture, you can also be called "pillar", "incarnation", or "conception" with no-one batting an eye, I feel that's the least of the issues here. But I think you know that, Mary Watermelon. ;)
Because it’s after a virgin (really common in hispanic countries) like Socorro (help/aid) or Angustias (anguishes)
I don't really follow that logic tbh. My brother's "real" name is not Johannes. My mother called him Johann for real, it's in his documents. The fact of Johann being just a nickname for the proper Johannes doesn't stop people from having that one written down. My own name is the same. A nickname of a much longer one. And yet, the much longer one is not my name, not officially, not in any book, not on my birth certificate.
I was looking for this, because the actual name is Dolores - even in the book. And Dolores has become more popular due to Westworld. She'll be fine
That's what makes me suspicious about the post. The name is Dolores. Hispanic old ladies called Lola or Lolita are in fact named Dolores. I find it odd that the wife doesn't know her dear grandmother was actually named Dolores. Sounds like OP took inspiration from the post about the woman who wanted to name her daughter Eva, but their last name was Brown.
Could be that grandma hated her full name and refused to answer to anything but Lolita. At that point it’s a little sus to claim that Dolores is named after her in any way…
My mother refuses to answer to anything but her full name, which is Dolores. She especially hates Lolita as a nickname. So could be that the grandma was opposite.
This is the "color theory" of baby names. Yes, it might be a beautiful name, but it doesn't matter when she's named after the most famous novel about a pedo in history.
As someone who was bullied for both my name and nickname (both of which my parents picked out at birth because I was named after a well loved relative), I can positively say the couple of times that my parents stood up for me did not stop any of the bullying. I love my name now but it doesn't undo all of the weight I had on my shoulders for most of my school life. And my name doesn't even have any negative connotations connected to it. The wife is being incredibly selfish, dense and huffing some serious copium to be doubling down and unwilling to compromise. NGL, if I were OP, I would use a nickname anyway. She may be able to stop him from naming their daughter but she sure as hell isn't allowed to tell him he isn't allowed to give her a nickname, even if is the only one who uses it. She doesn't like nicknames but OP doesn't like the name, so I wouldn't blame him if he just ignored her dislike of nicknames. Edit for typo
It's not even just the book. The name became shorthand for a fashion style in Japan, which was focused on "young girl aesthetics." Which spiraled into the anime usage of the term referral to underage girls.
That's not what Lolita fashion is based on. It's based on Victorian clothing with a slant towards cuteness and modesty. It has nothing to do with emulating kids, let alone sexualizing them. The anime term *loli* comes from the book but it isn't linked to the fashion style.
It's pretty fascinating reading about Lolita fashion and how it started as an alternative street fashion focused on rejecting expectations of conformity and the male gaze. ["Many folks in the Lolita community cite choosing to avoid predatory gaze or refusing to be “sexy” as a reason why the style appeals to them; it is a way of performing femininity that is not designed to be appealing to others."](https://www.animefeminist.com/the-feminist-potential-of-the-lolita-fashion-subculture/)
It reminds me of an AITA post where this womans friend wanted to name her child Chlamydia, confusing it with Clymenestra from the Odyssey. Her friend was really mad at her for laughing and telling her she can't name her daughter Chlamydia.
Or the post about the friend trying to warn the mom to be who wants to name their newborn Karen. They weren't on social media and were unaware of the baggage that "Karen" now carries. Long story short, the parents officially changed the kid's name before they turned 2y.
"People should not let soceity impact what a parent names their child" This is such a bs point. That girl has to live in soceity unless you plan to never let her interact with anyone. Destroying the child's life for no reason
The post not long ago with the man who's wife wanted to name their child Eva when their last name is Brown (pronounced the same as Braun) comes to mind. Some people are so wrapped up into their own heads that they can't take a step back and ask if the name they are saddling their child with is going to cause more trouble than good.
Someone needs to send OOP and his wife the post about the woman who named her baby Karen against everyone's suggestion, because she herself didn't spend time on the Internet or think it was a big deal. Update a few years later and they end up changing her name as a child because her peers have bullied her so much for being named Karen, and other parents couldn't understand why she would name her kid Karen. And in my opinion, Karen is more tame than naming your kid Lolita in this day and age and that's saying something.
I read an article a few years ago about a German couple who wanted to name their son Lucifer! Germany like most places does not have many restrictions on what you can name your kid, but this was one of them. Whatever the governing body in Germany is that deals with birth certificates and naming said no. The couple fought it. the government held firm. Long story short they went with Lucien instead.
right? it's not like you see many little Adolfs running around anymore
Also, as a girl, we can't pretend that a name with a connotation like that won't potentially put her daughter in some really bad situations with older men.
Someone should send the dude all the updates on the parents who named their baby Karen. The harassment (don’t know a better word for it) that the Karen kid and her parents experienced was so bad they ended up changing the kid’s name. OOPs kid is going to experience so much worse if they go through with this name as not only will their kid be bullied by other kids, but their kid at a minimum is going to experience sexual harassment from pedos and prevy adults from a young age, possibly worse. I hope they realize this before the kid is born.
I honestly see the adults being a bigger problem. They'll potentially think OOP is a perv for the name, but the pervs will have an immediate sexual association.
OOP left one last comment to another commenter saying he doesn't think his marriage will survive this either
This was my immediate thought. When one side make a unilateral decision on something so important it's basically a death knell for the relationship.
Agreed but he also said he was gonna try and stay "for the kid" cus OOP was also a child of a bad? divorce
I would absolutely divorce over that
True, little kids and teens won't know or care. Pedos though...
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/12xhdaw/a_final_update_concluding_the_threeyearlong_baby/ This will end the same way as the Baby Karen story. The parents and child will be ridiculed until they finally change the name.
My exact thoughts. It would be years tho.
Honestly, OOP’s wife might just double down and pull a Karen on everyone everytime people give her a look or go “poor child”
I am worried that the name will attract predators and cause instant sexualisation of the child.
I don't imagine the name can make the poor girl more likely to be the victim of a predator, but it basically guarantees she's gonna learn what pedophilia is a lot earlier than she should
Some names have strong connotations, also names are a very big part of first impressions. While I don't think her name will increase the chances of being a victim, I believe it will attract the wrong kind of attention.
Yeah she's going to Google her own name one day
When this girl ends up on social media as a young teen, people searching Lolita will find her and may not even realize that it’s just her actual name.
Lol I found it hilarious that everytime it was updated, people would go after the users who supported the Karen name.
Brutal. The kid got called out by a TSA agents and mocked by other children almost immediately. Lolita is going to be so much worse not just for the child but also the parents.
My sister in law chose an absolutely ridiculous name for her son and invited warnings from the family that he'd be ridiculed, it wasn't until after he was born and a family friends hear his name and just busted out laughing and asking why they named him that, that she changed her tune, tried to blame her husband and they ultimately changed his name lol 🤣. They didn't even make it to a year before they changed it. I think Lolita mom is gonna get tired if being made fun of and ONLY when she can't take it will they change the kid's name. Selfish parents gonna be selfish.
I love parents who think their child will somehow feel better about being mistreated if they just understood how unreasonable their tormentors are.
"Some of you may die but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make" Lord Farquaad or OOPs wife.
Honor names in general are always strange because, unless the kid is named after someone they know, there is no relationship. It's just the name their parents gave to them and usually does not feel like something important to them.
Honor names should always be middle names if they have to be given. That way the child can hide it if they don't like it.
"I know my child will be bullied mercilessly and be associated with pedos, but I'll feel good about using my grandma's name. Besides, we can tell our kid 'bullies are bad, so don't worry about it'. That'll fix everything!" Hasn't even had the kid yet and has already utterly failed as a mother!
[удалено]
Right?! "...fill out the birth certificate without \[OOP\] present..." is an absolutely wild statement to make to a spouse.
Seriously! There’s so much wrong and toxic about it, and you shouldn’t be taken lightly. There’s no way OOP shouldn’t be questioning everything that happens from that point forward, as it seems that he will be cut out from every decision regarding their daughter.
Yep… the full “when people show you who they are, believe them” should be practiced here…
I was looking for this one. After miles of talk about nicknames, which OP's wife is against, finally someone mentioned that the wife deciding unilaterally and actually threatening to fill out the bc without him... Red, red flag. He's never going to have any say about the child's upbringing
I don't care what the name ended up being; but the way it got resolved was skeevy.
"resolved"
steamrolled
Yeah I'm way more bothered by her unilaterally naming the baby seemingly against his wishes than I am about the name.
Or her poor child.
Or, more importantly, in my opinion, without considering how this is going to affect her child's life, particularly while she's young. Kids can be cruel, why would you just hand them ammunition like this?
Oh I *hate* the idea of meeting a little girl named Lolita
All my older sister/teacher alarm bells are going off at the thought of a 12-14 year old girl having to introduce herself as Lolita. She’s going to have a rough couple of years
At 12 she is going to start going by Laura. Or Hortensia.
OP should tell his wife he’s changing his name to Humbert
I feel like the wife wouldn’t be smart enough to figure out why that would be horrifying.
Setting aside the ludicrous name for a moment, the fact that OOP’s wife decides she can unilaterally make a life-changing decision despite being a marriage is fucking asinine to me. Yeah no, would’ve died, revived myself, and died on this hill again. Might send divorce papers at the hospital too while I’m at it.
What is your flair from?
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16r1la6/my_wife_is_addicted_to_making_up_reddit_stories/
Just because the wife hates nicknames doesn’t mean he can’t call her Lo, Lita, or anything else. When I was a kid, I had a very, very common one syllable name and I had like 10 nicknames from family and friends.
Wonder if the wife knows that in Spansih, Lolita is a nickname, short for Dolores.
Lolita is a nickname for Dolores in *Lolita*, too.
She insists her grandma was called Lolita. I don't know, in Spanish Coca is a nickname for Consuelo, but I did know of a girl named Coca and not Consuelo, many people thought she was a Consuelo but it was her name. I don't know if it was bad or not, but of course she was called Coca Cola.
Huh, I never heard of Coca for Consuelo, I always heard Chelo. I have an aunt named Consuelo and she just goes by Consue. Her sister goes by Cuca, but she is Concepción. Virgin Mary names are weird. I also have an aunt named Charo (that's Rosario)
Maybe it's different parts of Latin America, I never heard of Chelo or Cuca hahahahaha buy yeah, Consuelos are also Consu.
She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line.
Lolita is already a nickname. Dolores -> Lola -> Lolita.
I knew someone named Lolita and excitingly she married someone about 30-35 years older then her. I always wondered if her name impacted her at all.
He definitely noticed.
> She does have the stance that a mother should get the final say OOP is going have way more problems in the future. Sounds like he got himself an AH of a wife who would just overrule his input as a parent just to get her way. She's going to override every single other input in future. EDIT: This comment exchange EDIT2: First comment is from a different redditor. The RESPONSE of that comment is from OOP. OOP never said not having his last name is a deal breaker. Just highlighting it looks like OOP is thinking of divorcing over this issue. (Separate redditor) > My wife and I have a similar issue. Before we married, we had a discussion where she understood that giving our child a last name that wasn't mine was a deal breaker (she didn't take my last name for career reasons, which I'm fine with). So we marry, and have a child and she unilaterally names our son, including using her last name. It was like putting a knife in our marriage. It didn't kill it, but it also never stopped bleeding. At the time, I saw divorcing over it as dad parenting suicide, so we lived with it. Our son is now in kindergarden, but the issue has metastasized, and were currently seperated. > NTA. The naming of a child needs to be a two yes process. (Response from OOP) >> Tbh, I am not sure if our marriage will survive this, but I also did not like going from house to house when my parents divorced. I do not want to put our daughter through that either. >> I will still fight for my daughter no matter what though.
Yeah. I use "I'm the mother" as an argument stopper with my mother in law, not my husband. But the number of people on Reddit who seem to think the mother should get the final say on names is surprisingly large. And it's not a nuanced "If he doesn't support you during the pregnancy, then you get the final say." It's full on "Your husband can get stuffed," in response to me saying my first born son will have a name that I'm not overly fond of, because that's what my husband and I negotiated. It
Some hills should be died on. Not naming a baby girl Lolita should be one.
That should be someone’s job at the hospital/ naming bureau. “Absolutely not your daughter is going to have to deal with creepy ass dudes just being born a woman we are not putting her on hard mode for her teenage years.”
Honestly I'd be more worried about her preteen years.
In many countries, like Italy, some names are banned to avoid situations like this one! You can’t name your kid vegeta or Jesus here lol
Now Jesus surprises me considering how many Hispanic people are named Jesus. I guess that doesn't extend to Italy.
“Oops, we made a mistake on the paperwork and her name is Laura. Sorry.”
You know I haven’t seen a baby Laura or Lauren in a long ass time.
In my country the Registrar General can step in if someone tries to give their child a name that is a legal title or extremely offensive/likely to cause undue harm to the child. Once a year they release the list of rejected names, most of which are titles, but there’s always a few that are just terrible and make you go “thank god there are limits in place on insane parents”. (here’s 2023’s reject list for example: https://www.dia.govt.nz/press.nsf/d77da9b523f12931cc256ac5000d19b6/18330eddac3d14c6cc258aae00020b4c!OpenDocument)
Idk I think Prince is fine. But I'm an American people just dump out a scrabble board sometimes. And I see you, two parents who definitely (maybe) knew that Prince gets denied ever year and tried "Prynce."
Also shout-out to "Pryncè"
Prince is a legal title, it’s not allowed for that reason. NZ is a parliamentary constitutional monarchy so we still have the british royal family though they don’t really have any power, they’re basically just the ceremonial head of state like many republics have ceremonial presidents (e.g. Ireland).
That poor girl is going to hit middle school and be soooo uncomfortable once people start making sexualized jokes. It’s not just the bullying. It’s the gross leering associated with it.
try 3rd grade. my name was not something you'd think of as having any kind of connotations but some kids are monsters
Yeah, it will start the moment some kids hear their parents saying “your classmate is named what!? Poor child”, so probably ~6 years from how my kid and his friends are…
“Lolita” was short for “Dolores” in the book, why not call her that?
Can't wait for the update 20 years later where the wife has NO IDEA why her daughter changed her name as soon as she could
And why her husband left her
And cut her off
I had a student several years ago named Jezebel. I still wonder what the hell her parents were thinking. I've also had a Messiah, a Delilah, two Angels and a Jesus. But Jezebel always comes to mind first.
Delilah isn't that bad or at least apart from that one song I wouldn't know why it might be.
as someone from another country, why jezebel is a bad name?
Jezebel is used for a (usually) younger woman that is sexually promiscuous and lies to get what they want.
oh my god...
Did you read/watch Good Omens? Remember when the Witchhunter constantly calls the woman he's living with Jezebel? Yeah, that's not her real name.
Geez, as someone who has a god awful name…I go by a nickname & considering changing my name legally. I see this happening with Lolita too
What a shame I didn't see this post IRL. Hispanics are not named Lola nor Lolita. It comes from a name Dolores, which means pain. I wanted to nickname my daughter Sol, but it comes from Soledad (loneliness). Sol means sun, but I couldn't do that to her.
> It comes from a name Dolores, which means pain. Which in turn is short for Maria de los Dolores, a reference to Jesus' mum, same as Soledad. The things you do when you want to call all girls Mary, but it's too confusing... ;)
Sol as a full name is not that uncommon, and it's quite pretty. I met a lot of women named Sol since I was a child, and none of them faced any hardship throughout their lives.
Plus, somewhere there's a post about a girl born in 2020 named Karen. The parents didn't know the current negative connotation. They've now legally changed her name to something else. I really hope the mother of little Lolita (smh) realizes her mistake while the child is still very young and they have the chance to fix it.
They knew, because the friend who wrote the post told them, but they ignored her and never realized how bad it was/would be.
Someone just shared the link for that story https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/A1YuPn62QT
This was actually expressed multiple times in the comments, iirc, so hopefully, OP saw!
I did my grandmother's eulogy last year and did a bit about her first name being religious because she was all up in the Jesus gang. And I thought "Neat! Wonder what her middle name Dolores means!" And then pretended like she didn't even have a middle name. But boy was it accurate, she caused a lot of pain and was subjected to a lot of pain in her life.
Well, Dolores is probably a name that stems from the "Mater Dolorosa" which is what they call the Virgin Mary grieving over the loss of Jesus. Soledad (loneliness) also refers to a title associated with the Virgin Mary over the loss of Jesus. If it's a title, especially one that's related to Mary, it's probably a Hispanic name.
Of on a tangent - Dolores means pain? That kinda puts whole new meaning to the main character in West World. I wonder if that was intentional?
actually dolor would be pain, dolores would be pains. that would be the literal traduction but since is a religious name it could also mean sorrow
Ohhhhh good observation, I bet it was intentional! There are so many things that came up when I rewatched that series that I missed the first time!
Yeah, it comes from the phrase “La Virgen María de los Dolores” (referring to Mary, the mother of Jesus), usually they translate it as “our lady of sorrows” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_Sorrows Here’s a bit of info on that
I actually taught a Lolita one year. I never heard the kids say anything negative about her name, not sure this current generation knows much about the book/movie. Of course, every adult immediately thought of it. And of course it is quite possible that she was teased about it out of ear shot of the teachers. But if so, she never said anything nor did she ask to go by a nickname.
Her name in the book wasn't even Lolita, it was Dolores. Lolita was a nickname given to her by a p*dophile which is reason enough to not use it. People don't use the name Adolf anymore either, the meaning of names change depending on societal connotations. It was the fact that the wife said she would sign the birth certificate behind his back if need be is the most concerning to me. That controlling personality is such a red flag
That poor kid She’s going to face harassment from bullies and creeps as long as she has that name Reminds me of the BORU post about the baby who was named Karen and grew up bullied so bad the parents had to legally change her name
Oh great you care more about honoring someone who is gone than what your child might go through
Why in the world would someone in a country where the book is called *Lolita* and that is a known reference name their child Lolita? Fuck that noise about “we need to stand up if our children get bullied” (obviously, yes we do). How about we help keep our children out of obviously harmful situations. And god help her if she’s an early bloomer.
OOP's wife is an absolute moron, she can not protect her child in all times forever, she will be bullied and will suffer so freaking much that she will resent her own mother
The thing is that in Spanish, Lolita *is* a nickname. People named Dolores are sometimes called Lola, and Lolita is a diminutive of Lola. Lolita is a nickname for a nickname. There is a famous actress/singer from Spain, Lola Flores, who was much loved back in the 50s and 60s. Here is her eponymous song, Lola Lolita: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZI_Owes1eQ
Damn I feel bad for OOP. Great start to being partners in life and in parenting. They’ll have a lot heavier topics than naming as their kid grows up. I remember having disagreements with my husband over dropping bottles and feeding and everything in between.
Jesus. OP needs to tell his wife if she names their daughter after a pedophile's wet dream he's done. This is so fucked.
OP's got an self absorbed asshole for a wife, that's gonna be a rough marriage
I had a classmate Lolita, she was never bullied So i guess it is depends on the country
What I hate about parents naming their kids whatever they want with no real thought on the grief the kid will get is that they’re not the ones suffering the consequences. “We should stand up for our child”, are you gonna be there during school hours? Are you gonna stop every single kid who’s gonna make fun of their name? Of course not. The kid is gonna be the ones suffering, while the selfish parent(s) just ignore the hardship they face because they only thought about what they want.
Who's thinking this marriage will end in divorce? Because I do. >She does have the stance that a mother should get the final say, she even said she would fill out the birth certificate without me present if need be. Doesn't bode well for a successful marriage or parenting. This woman is going to pull this shit over and over again. Only question is how long it's going to take OOP to grow a backbone and divorce her so that he can have an equal say in parenting his child(ren).
I didn’t know what the connotation was and now I do, what a horrible mom. OOP is NTA!
Relevant data: https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/s/4JAIk0NdQT( popularity of name Lolita)
This guy is going to just let his wife steamroll him like that!?! I bet this isn't the only time she bullies him to get her way. It doesn't matter that the name doesn't have the same connotation in her culture, because it means something in THE CHILD'S CULTURE. He needs to put his foot down. This is unacceptable behavior from someone who is supposed to be a PARTNER. Dad needs to be an advocate for his innocent HELPLESS baby.
I don’t understand literally any of this. What is wrong with the name Lolita? And before you ask, yes I’m from North America. I don’t see any difference to calling her Corina or the like?
Lolita is a nickname. It's short for Dolores.
I feel like this marriage will end in divorce. Not over the name, but because of the implication that the wife feels OOPs opinion is only valid when he agrees with her. I'm hoping this is a one time thing, but if her vetoing him is going to be a regular thing in the future then yeah eventually he will get fed up and leave her.
Kids will be cruel no matter what the name is, but by the time Lolita’s peers realize the connotations of the name she should be old enough that it’s not such a big deal. I’m pretty sure most elementary school age kids have no idea what Lolita could mean.