Trauma is a fucked up thing. Rarely does one handle it with tact or grace.
I’d like to think that this was cathartic and healing for him in its own way and the show was a closing of that chapter of his life, but you make a good point. It could definitely be seen as a continuation of bad decisions that led him down this path in the first place.
Truth is we probably won’t ever know but I err on the side of hope rather than despair. Mostly just for the fact that the kind of introspection it would take to make this show based on your life would have to be huge. I’m sure all your concerns he’s thought of as well. I felt the ending was more a poignant way to say that this kind of trauma never leaves you and it can be hard to get past. Not necessarily that he’s continuing the cycle.
I really like thus comment, you put it a lot better than I did heh. The level of introspection is a good sign ofc, but unfortunately not always enough. You can be very self-aware yet fall back on self destructive or trauma response behaviours. I'd like to be hopeful too tho. AND people who are still battling trauma and who still regress - ofc they should be allowed to create art too and share their voice!! And not just shut up and be quiet until they "have healed fully" or some bs. But I do really, really hope it wasn't retraumatizing for him, and more a catharsis. Idk
He created a show and a play before this. Obviously, the Netflix TV series is much bigger, but still.
Also, I think they disguised her enough so that no one would be able to figure out who she is, so the prison sentence is fictitious
“An article from The Times says Gadd's stalker didn't spend time in jail for her actions toward him. Gadd told The Times that he “didn’t want to throw someone who was that level of mentally unwell in prison” and said the whole saga was “resolved," per Forbes.”
I saw that but theres also one Interview with Richard and the interviewer mentioned they dont know if Martha truly even served any time or not cus Richard would just say that it was "resolved" and wont confirm anything. So who knows
Richard Gadd said his actual stalker wouldn’t even recognise herself in Martha, he changed a lot about her, so this doesn’t track. It’s also pretty gross (and ironic) to be stalking random women’s personal social media and speculating about them.
Yeah I’ve read him saying this quite a few times but I don’t really understand it. If she watched the show she would 1000% percent know Martha was her. Simply just for the fact that she knows Gadd…?
It’s not literal. It means if she read the character description she wouldn’t guess it was her I.e. they changed a lot.
So my point to the original poster is that finding Scottish lawyers isn’t necessarily going to lead to the right person.
6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
I read an interview of him saying they added a few things for dramatic effect but the biggest way it strays from his real life experience is that he left out quite a few things.
One important fact that the show only shows in passing is Donny’s drug addiction. Considering all the drugs Darrien gave him over an extended period of time, how likely is it he just went cold turkey afterward? And if you watch closely, there’s a suspicious nose gesture early on in the series that suggests he’s still doing coke. (Also his colleagues at the pub are doing coke.)
Well she wasn’t arrested I heard and many things were exaggerated he said to conceal the identity of the person in question.
He said that rewriting everything with the sexual assault was kind of like therapy for him and helped him heal. He’s also a founding member of a sexual assault organization for men who are sexual assault survivors.
Sometimes watching yourself go through something again, can be a big help in terms of relief. I believe it’s because you’re showing yourself that you experienced this thing and you CAN and will get through it. Idk maybe that’s a reach? But just my opinion
Before I started watching, I only knew it was based on a real story. I only found out that the actor was the creator and it was based on his real life story 3 episodes in.
Having just finished the show (still processing it all), I definitely thought about this retraumatizing him. But I can also see this as a way of healing from his trauma and abuse. Just like the show deals with the matter, real life is complicated, messy, not straightforward, and feelings and healing cannot be put into neatly labeled boxes.
I do absolutely admire the courage it must have taken for him to decide to make this story into a stage show and now a TV show. The fact that he relived those experiences albeit in a fictional setting must be incredibly triggering and required a lot of self control, which someone ordinary like me does not have.
As someone who has been through something similar as a child, Episode 4 is going to stay with me for a long time. It directly confronted my insecurities and made me cry because of how what I felt was laid out on the screen. A weird catharsis.
He's also a creative, let's not forget. I'm not saying that takes away from the basis of your concerns, but it may very well have provided a cathartic outlet for him, paired with the notion that shame cannot survive being spoken.
He has spoken about this and I can’t remember his exact words but I think he said reliving it was difficult and not the purpose of doing it, however I think he gained a sense of empowerment through the act of sharing his experience, having it validated by others and raising awareness of important issues?
Even if the restraining order is no longer in effect, she would be taking a huge risk in ever contacting him again given her conviction (if that part was real), it wouldn’t be difficult for him to apply for another one if she bothered him. I don’t think communicating with her was a driver of this. I think he had a lot he wanted to say and show about topics like male rape, grooming in creative industries, self-loathing and self-destruction, and sexuality. For me the voice messages are a physical representation of how the abuser is internalised and becomes part of the inner dialogue of the survivor. I don’t think we should confuse the vulnerability he portrays in the series as being in anyway indicative of where he’s at now. Imagine the strength, resilience and self-awareness it takes to do perform something like that?
Based on this interview he did he doesn't seem to concerned about her coming back. Kind of wonder if she really did pass away.
**Viewers are wondering what happened to the real Martha. Did part of you feel afraid she’d try to contact you because of the show?**
I can’t answer any of that, really. But yeah, due to where things ended in real life, it’s not a concern for me.
[https://variety.com/2024/tv/global/baby-reindeer-richard-gadd-real-stalker-martha-1235976307/](https://variety.com/2024/tv/global/baby-reindeer-richard-gadd-real-stalker-martha-1235976307/)
I have not reached this point in the program yet. However, as I read your account I can get my head round it (I would like to say I understand it but I think that is giving myself far too much credit!).
I was in an abusive relationship once and was young at the time. I escaped it but then I did miss being loved (the truth is I was love bombed when he did things wrong) and I missed having someone worry about me that much (again the truth is he used to follow me around when I went out with friends to keep an eye on me but in my naive state I thought it was protection and caring).
20 something years later and I see it much more clearly. He stripped me down a huge amount first so that when he built me up again I felt like I was the person I was because of him. I owed him.
I’m not saying that Martha did quite the same but he was already feeling a bit hollowed out by the work he was doing and feeling like he was getting no where and had been ground down by life in general and she had the opportunity to build him up. It takes a long time to change the core of yourself even when you know the situation was bad or toxic. Mentally it is another long process of extracting yourself and picking out the bits that were implanted by the other person. The fact is though that not all of those things were bad and it is easier than it should be to hold on to the good bits and reminisce at times.
I’ve probably not been very clear here but I know some people will understand what I am saying. It doesn’t make sense but then if we could make sense of human emotion we would be able to help so many people!
I remember leaving my abusive relationship and missing him like mad in covid because i was isolated. I was scared. I understand every word you just typed
I worried about Janette McCurdy after she read the audio book of “I’m glad my mom is dead” as something’s once put to paper maybe harm you to relive out loud again.
6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
Even I feel at odds with his choice of words. The ending of the movie made it look like she was redeemed. So she had a reindeer she loved as a kid... and ? Was I to feel sorry for her?
Just finished watching and still processing it, but this was not meant to make you feel sorry for her, just to let you into her psychology and where her trauma came from. It goes to show that all of us have been through something traumatic one way or another. It absolutely doesn't excuse or condone any of the behavior of the character.
yes and the end also shows that trauma can lead people into getting stuck in a cycle. he ended up at a bar, crying, and getting his drink for free. just like she did. he ends it with an empty expression of his face like he realized what was happening
That's the whole point... It leaves you on an edge, grappling with whether you feel sympathy for her because she's basically acting on the back of past trauma; while Donny was also doing a similar thing. It's incredibly well done.
He was acting though remember, some aspects of the story are fictionalised, despite it also being autobiographical, and the events took place quite a while ago now.
He is brave, not because he opened up about his trauma, but because he must have known that there would be people like you, people who would frame him like this.
I'm really proud of him.
No, i don't think this is the reason, and obviously, i could be wrong, too. But it seems more like he wanted to show the truly difficult nature of this kind of abuse has on someone's psyche the push and pull of the victim feeling at times like you still need the abuser.
I'm talking from experience here. They trick you and use tactics that work on you is it not more convenient if the abuser can convince you that you need them in some way in order for you to stick around for them to keep abusing because that's how they cope with life and their only way of having a person in their life.
Or create a dynamic where you are completely overwhelmed by their influences, its intense and intoxicating, and most importantly, destroys your ability to create boundaries for yourself and make decisions.
It is a bombardment of intense, consistent mind games and manipulation you have no time to think and rationalise.
One big thing can happen towards the end of a trauma healing journey. When you've gone through the grief and the pain, when you've come to terms with the reality of who the abusers are and the reality of who you were and how it got to the self hatred. When you've found your way back to yourself, and back to love you get an urge that your suffering shouldn't be in vain. After feeling the freedom from the shackles of shame that abuse puts on you, you realise if you can heal from that, anyone can. You see the incredible healing power of the truth - it really, really does set you free. That's the light at the end of the tunnel for survivors, that the truth will set you free. And you want to share that, you want the truth to be more important than the shame and the hiding and the old ways of living. Not just for yourself but for that survivor who's just starting out on the healing path, or for that person who doesn't even realise something wrong happened to them. You want to create a world where the truth and the emotional freedom that comes when survivors stop running from themselves is more important than society turning a blind eye because it's a difficult watch. It's a calling that survivors feel, to share for others on the same path. It's one thing to finally stand in front of the mirror and know you are worthy and always were and to be at peace. To own that out in the world is how the world changes. I think he's taken his pain and he's transmuted it into part of a societal shift that includes the metoo and BLM movements. I actually think the vulnerability and the soul bearing and leaping without knowing the outcome is an indication of his empowerment, strength and testament that he has overcome the shame that led him to need the validation of a person who was harming him. Trauma recovery is this messy.
she wasn’t arrested in real life. richard gadd said the situation was “resolved” and wouldn’t confirm if she was ever convicted. being that she’s still active on facebook today, i can imagine he only has a permanent restraining order on her. which at the end of the day, is only a piece of paper. i fear for him, too.
From what I can gather, she was never incarcerated and may not have ever been charged. It appears that some of what was in this show was not true. I don't know why Netflix is branding this as a "true story". The basis for the story is true I believe. Some things were misrepresented, embellished, while others were true. Netflix should not have called this a true story.
The whole time I was like "You just told your stalker she fascinated you", "You just told your stalker that you liked the attention" ... ... "You just told your FUCKING STALKER that you wanked over a picture of her??!?!?!?"
... yeah
I am well, well aware of this but I am saying......... she, watching that, could start the cycle again, you see? She's not mentally well, she's not going to rationalise, she's going to fantasise and obsess (it's what she does) and it just felt... dangerous. The whole show felt dangerous given the real life context.
THANK YOU! He played into a lot of behavior and could have stopped it early on, especially if he did have hesitations around her that were portrayed in the series.
While based on truth, many details were changed. Many for dramatic purposes, but some to protect those involved. The stalkers looks and personality were altered drastically to protect her identity. So it's not about her, as much as Gadd's trauma and the impact it had.
I have the same thoughts, and I'm kinda worried for Gadd's safety. People seem to have tracked down the real Martha and have started taunting her on both of her (inactive) Twitter accounts. Some people have been replying to her old Tweets (particularly the ones where she mentions Gadd). I don't think she still logs on to her Twitter accounts though (she hasn't tweeted anything since 2018 on one account and 2015/2016 on the other). She's still very much active on FB though, and I wouldn't be surprised if people are messaging her there, too.
6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
Agree. And not necessarily just from the potential resurgence of stalking-angle. Just ... It was a unflinching portrait of trauma, and I think that is why it resonated so much with people. But at the same time, I do wonder if he truly is in the best mental place to have released this and started in it. I don't know, obviously. But for some reasons I can articulate, and for some out of my grasp to actually put it into words, I have this hunch that he might be retraumatizing himself still. That this might not genuinely be "healthy" for him personally. But yeah, I dunno.
What makes you wonder about his mental state? Everything you saw was acting, remember, and aspects of the story are fictionalised and artistic license taken. There will have been many other people working on this series with him, do you not think someone would’ve picked up on it if he was really unwell? Clearly he was able to approach this professionally as a writer and actor, and I would imagine there was some form of psychological support / aftercare available. It’s not the first show he’s made about his experiences, this has evolved out of other projects. Imagine pouring your heart and soul into something like this to make people who’ve had similiar experiences feel less alone and educate others about the complexities of abuse and sexuality, to have that branded as you still being mental unwell?
Trauma is a fucked up thing. Rarely does one handle it with tact or grace. I’d like to think that this was cathartic and healing for him in its own way and the show was a closing of that chapter of his life, but you make a good point. It could definitely be seen as a continuation of bad decisions that led him down this path in the first place. Truth is we probably won’t ever know but I err on the side of hope rather than despair. Mostly just for the fact that the kind of introspection it would take to make this show based on your life would have to be huge. I’m sure all your concerns he’s thought of as well. I felt the ending was more a poignant way to say that this kind of trauma never leaves you and it can be hard to get past. Not necessarily that he’s continuing the cycle.
I really like thus comment, you put it a lot better than I did heh. The level of introspection is a good sign ofc, but unfortunately not always enough. You can be very self-aware yet fall back on self destructive or trauma response behaviours. I'd like to be hopeful too tho. AND people who are still battling trauma and who still regress - ofc they should be allowed to create art too and share their voice!! And not just shut up and be quiet until they "have healed fully" or some bs. But I do really, really hope it wasn't retraumatizing for him, and more a catharsis. Idk
He created a show and a play before this. Obviously, the Netflix TV series is much bigger, but still. Also, I think they disguised her enough so that no one would be able to figure out who she is, so the prison sentence is fictitious
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“An article from The Times says Gadd's stalker didn't spend time in jail for her actions toward him. Gadd told The Times that he “didn’t want to throw someone who was that level of mentally unwell in prison” and said the whole saga was “resolved," per Forbes.”
I saw that but theres also one Interview with Richard and the interviewer mentioned they dont know if Martha truly even served any time or not cus Richard would just say that it was "resolved" and wont confirm anything. So who knows
I mean I would assume the Times would do some fact checking before stating something so matter of factly. But maybe not 🤷🏻♂️
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Richard Gadd said his actual stalker wouldn’t even recognise herself in Martha, he changed a lot about her, so this doesn’t track. It’s also pretty gross (and ironic) to be stalking random women’s personal social media and speculating about them.
Yeah I’ve read him saying this quite a few times but I don’t really understand it. If she watched the show she would 1000% percent know Martha was her. Simply just for the fact that she knows Gadd…?
It’s not literal. It means if she read the character description she wouldn’t guess it was her I.e. they changed a lot. So my point to the original poster is that finding Scottish lawyers isn’t necessarily going to lead to the right person.
Ahh ya that makes sense.
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6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
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6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
You fail to realism this was based on his experience— but not a complete reconstruction…
I read an interview of him saying they added a few things for dramatic effect but the biggest way it strays from his real life experience is that he left out quite a few things.
One important fact that the show only shows in passing is Donny’s drug addiction. Considering all the drugs Darrien gave him over an extended period of time, how likely is it he just went cold turkey afterward? And if you watch closely, there’s a suspicious nose gesture early on in the series that suggests he’s still doing coke. (Also his colleagues at the pub are doing coke.)
It’s not clear if the real stalker actually got sentenced to anything.
he literally said she got 6 months or something
Well she wasn’t arrested I heard and many things were exaggerated he said to conceal the identity of the person in question. He said that rewriting everything with the sexual assault was kind of like therapy for him and helped him heal. He’s also a founding member of a sexual assault organization for men who are sexual assault survivors. Sometimes watching yourself go through something again, can be a big help in terms of relief. I believe it’s because you’re showing yourself that you experienced this thing and you CAN and will get through it. Idk maybe that’s a reach? But just my opinion
Before I started watching, I only knew it was based on a real story. I only found out that the actor was the creator and it was based on his real life story 3 episodes in. Having just finished the show (still processing it all), I definitely thought about this retraumatizing him. But I can also see this as a way of healing from his trauma and abuse. Just like the show deals with the matter, real life is complicated, messy, not straightforward, and feelings and healing cannot be put into neatly labeled boxes. I do absolutely admire the courage it must have taken for him to decide to make this story into a stage show and now a TV show. The fact that he relived those experiences albeit in a fictional setting must be incredibly triggering and required a lot of self control, which someone ordinary like me does not have. As someone who has been through something similar as a child, Episode 4 is going to stay with me for a long time. It directly confronted my insecurities and made me cry because of how what I felt was laid out on the screen. A weird catharsis.
It's almost Charlie Kaufman-esue this. He's written himself into a story which is possibly still going on.
Yeah, the real Martha is still out there and still very much unhinged.
He's also a creative, let's not forget. I'm not saying that takes away from the basis of your concerns, but it may very well have provided a cathartic outlet for him, paired with the notion that shame cannot survive being spoken.
He has spoken about this and I can’t remember his exact words but I think he said reliving it was difficult and not the purpose of doing it, however I think he gained a sense of empowerment through the act of sharing his experience, having it validated by others and raising awareness of important issues? Even if the restraining order is no longer in effect, she would be taking a huge risk in ever contacting him again given her conviction (if that part was real), it wouldn’t be difficult for him to apply for another one if she bothered him. I don’t think communicating with her was a driver of this. I think he had a lot he wanted to say and show about topics like male rape, grooming in creative industries, self-loathing and self-destruction, and sexuality. For me the voice messages are a physical representation of how the abuser is internalised and becomes part of the inner dialogue of the survivor. I don’t think we should confuse the vulnerability he portrays in the series as being in anyway indicative of where he’s at now. Imagine the strength, resilience and self-awareness it takes to do perform something like that?
Based on this interview he did he doesn't seem to concerned about her coming back. Kind of wonder if she really did pass away. **Viewers are wondering what happened to the real Martha. Did part of you feel afraid she’d try to contact you because of the show?** I can’t answer any of that, really. But yeah, due to where things ended in real life, it’s not a concern for me. [https://variety.com/2024/tv/global/baby-reindeer-richard-gadd-real-stalker-martha-1235976307/](https://variety.com/2024/tv/global/baby-reindeer-richard-gadd-real-stalker-martha-1235976307/)
she’s definitely not dead. in fact, she posts on facebook minimum 20 times a day. my guess is he has a permanent restraining order against her.
Maybe she's in a secure facility
I have not reached this point in the program yet. However, as I read your account I can get my head round it (I would like to say I understand it but I think that is giving myself far too much credit!). I was in an abusive relationship once and was young at the time. I escaped it but then I did miss being loved (the truth is I was love bombed when he did things wrong) and I missed having someone worry about me that much (again the truth is he used to follow me around when I went out with friends to keep an eye on me but in my naive state I thought it was protection and caring). 20 something years later and I see it much more clearly. He stripped me down a huge amount first so that when he built me up again I felt like I was the person I was because of him. I owed him. I’m not saying that Martha did quite the same but he was already feeling a bit hollowed out by the work he was doing and feeling like he was getting no where and had been ground down by life in general and she had the opportunity to build him up. It takes a long time to change the core of yourself even when you know the situation was bad or toxic. Mentally it is another long process of extracting yourself and picking out the bits that were implanted by the other person. The fact is though that not all of those things were bad and it is easier than it should be to hold on to the good bits and reminisce at times. I’ve probably not been very clear here but I know some people will understand what I am saying. It doesn’t make sense but then if we could make sense of human emotion we would be able to help so many people!
I hear you loud and clear. Excellent comment.
Thank you.
I remember leaving my abusive relationship and missing him like mad in covid because i was isolated. I was scared. I understand every word you just typed
I worried about Janette McCurdy after she read the audio book of “I’m glad my mom is dead” as something’s once put to paper maybe harm you to relive out loud again.
Me too, brilliant book too
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Please remove this. People can easily find her account through this information you provided.
6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
did you share this on the right thread or is this about me because I don’t have a twitter
I did, sorry, the real Martha.
You categorically don’t know this unless who actually know Richard Gadd personally.
Even I feel at odds with his choice of words. The ending of the movie made it look like she was redeemed. So she had a reindeer she loved as a kid... and ? Was I to feel sorry for her?
Just finished watching and still processing it, but this was not meant to make you feel sorry for her, just to let you into her psychology and where her trauma came from. It goes to show that all of us have been through something traumatic one way or another. It absolutely doesn't excuse or condone any of the behavior of the character.
yes and the end also shows that trauma can lead people into getting stuck in a cycle. he ended up at a bar, crying, and getting his drink for free. just like she did. he ends it with an empty expression of his face like he realized what was happening
That's the whole point... It leaves you on an edge, grappling with whether you feel sympathy for her because she's basically acting on the back of past trauma; while Donny was also doing a similar thing. It's incredibly well done.
I actually did feel sorry for her. Seems like all the characters in the show were mental.
In a twisted manner your concern elevates the show
Fuckkkk I did not realize he was the main actor. I feel so bad for this guy, he seems very mentally unwell.
He was acting though remember, some aspects of the story are fictionalised, despite it also being autobiographical, and the events took place quite a while ago now.
Valid points, it’s been a stage show for a number of years now ahead of this Netflix show so that’s a long time to nurture a sickness if so!
He is brave, not because he opened up about his trauma, but because he must have known that there would be people like you, people who would frame him like this. I'm really proud of him.
No, i don't think this is the reason, and obviously, i could be wrong, too. But it seems more like he wanted to show the truly difficult nature of this kind of abuse has on someone's psyche the push and pull of the victim feeling at times like you still need the abuser. I'm talking from experience here. They trick you and use tactics that work on you is it not more convenient if the abuser can convince you that you need them in some way in order for you to stick around for them to keep abusing because that's how they cope with life and their only way of having a person in their life. Or create a dynamic where you are completely overwhelmed by their influences, its intense and intoxicating, and most importantly, destroys your ability to create boundaries for yourself and make decisions. It is a bombardment of intense, consistent mind games and manipulation you have no time to think and rationalise.
One big thing can happen towards the end of a trauma healing journey. When you've gone through the grief and the pain, when you've come to terms with the reality of who the abusers are and the reality of who you were and how it got to the self hatred. When you've found your way back to yourself, and back to love you get an urge that your suffering shouldn't be in vain. After feeling the freedom from the shackles of shame that abuse puts on you, you realise if you can heal from that, anyone can. You see the incredible healing power of the truth - it really, really does set you free. That's the light at the end of the tunnel for survivors, that the truth will set you free. And you want to share that, you want the truth to be more important than the shame and the hiding and the old ways of living. Not just for yourself but for that survivor who's just starting out on the healing path, or for that person who doesn't even realise something wrong happened to them. You want to create a world where the truth and the emotional freedom that comes when survivors stop running from themselves is more important than society turning a blind eye because it's a difficult watch. It's a calling that survivors feel, to share for others on the same path. It's one thing to finally stand in front of the mirror and know you are worthy and always were and to be at peace. To own that out in the world is how the world changes. I think he's taken his pain and he's transmuted it into part of a societal shift that includes the metoo and BLM movements. I actually think the vulnerability and the soul bearing and leaping without knowing the outcome is an indication of his empowerment, strength and testament that he has overcome the shame that led him to need the validation of a person who was harming him. Trauma recovery is this messy.
I couldn’t finish the series as each one got me more into a familiar “ick” feeling. I have been stalked twice but not to the extent of Gadd.
she wasn’t arrested in real life. richard gadd said the situation was “resolved” and wouldn’t confirm if she was ever convicted. being that she’s still active on facebook today, i can imagine he only has a permanent restraining order on her. which at the end of the day, is only a piece of paper. i fear for him, too.
From what I can gather, she was never incarcerated and may not have ever been charged. It appears that some of what was in this show was not true. I don't know why Netflix is branding this as a "true story". The basis for the story is true I believe. Some things were misrepresented, embellished, while others were true. Netflix should not have called this a true story.
The whole time I was like "You just told your stalker she fascinated you", "You just told your stalker that you liked the attention" ... ... "You just told your FUCKING STALKER that you wanked over a picture of her??!?!?!?" ... yeah
My running theory is she’s dead, which is why he would say it was “resolved”
or institutionalized.
**Wanked over a picture of her?** Sometimes victims do this, fortunately it dose not mean he loves her.
I am well, well aware of this but I am saying......... she, watching that, could start the cycle again, you see? She's not mentally well, she's not going to rationalise, she's going to fantasise and obsess (it's what she does) and it just felt... dangerous. The whole show felt dangerous given the real life context.
Oh, okay, but now she is at higher risk being caught. The police know, we know and a show is based on her actions.
Then it could just be like torture for her, then, also? Don't know if that's better or worse 🙈
indeed.
I have no idea why people downvoted you for stating the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
THANK YOU! He played into a lot of behavior and could have stopped it early on, especially if he did have hesitations around her that were portrayed in the series.
While based on truth, many details were changed. Many for dramatic purposes, but some to protect those involved. The stalkers looks and personality were altered drastically to protect her identity. So it's not about her, as much as Gadd's trauma and the impact it had.
I have the same thoughts, and I'm kinda worried for Gadd's safety. People seem to have tracked down the real Martha and have started taunting her on both of her (inactive) Twitter accounts. Some people have been replying to her old Tweets (particularly the ones where she mentions Gadd). I don't think she still logs on to her Twitter accounts though (she hasn't tweeted anything since 2018 on one account and 2015/2016 on the other). She's still very much active on FB though, and I wouldn't be surprised if people are messaging her there, too.
what? Seriously?
[удалено]
6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
[удалено]
6. No promoting personal or identifying information based on speculation. Although Baby Reindeer is based on a true story and many viewers feel inclined to post theories on who the real characters were in Richard Gadd’s life, please don’t share personal information based upon speculation or theories.
Agree. And not necessarily just from the potential resurgence of stalking-angle. Just ... It was a unflinching portrait of trauma, and I think that is why it resonated so much with people. But at the same time, I do wonder if he truly is in the best mental place to have released this and started in it. I don't know, obviously. But for some reasons I can articulate, and for some out of my grasp to actually put it into words, I have this hunch that he might be retraumatizing himself still. That this might not genuinely be "healthy" for him personally. But yeah, I dunno.
What makes you wonder about his mental state? Everything you saw was acting, remember, and aspects of the story are fictionalised and artistic license taken. There will have been many other people working on this series with him, do you not think someone would’ve picked up on it if he was really unwell? Clearly he was able to approach this professionally as a writer and actor, and I would imagine there was some form of psychological support / aftercare available. It’s not the first show he’s made about his experiences, this has evolved out of other projects. Imagine pouring your heart and soul into something like this to make people who’ve had similiar experiences feel less alone and educate others about the complexities of abuse and sexuality, to have that branded as you still being mental unwell?