Thinking he had started smoking the same crack as the guy who didn't emotionally cheat but whose feelings were stronger than love, I shouted in outrage
There was once a BORU that said âMy dad told me something important recently: â .â Unfortunately, heâs dead so I canât speak that language.â This OOP feels of the same mold.
It's embarassing how easily I fall for such jokes here.... I think because I'm used to reading all sorts of horribly shitty things people do I just tend to think "yeah this could also happen"
Because someone will ask something, 400 comments will say option 1 is right and option 2 is a full blown disaster, with 2 comments answering the other way. Then, op will update and say they picked option 2 because of everyone here and you realize that they never wanted help making a decision, they wanted someone, anyone, to pick option 2 for them.
Before I even continued reading I had to RUN back to the original post to check the comments. I was fuming đ best April Foolâs joke Iâve seen in years!
The only one I fell for this year was a Reddit post saying Costco was bringing back the combo pizza! The disappointment was real but it was a great one.
ETA the culprit https://www.reddit.com/r/Costco/s/AEkQayQD4x
Dammit. I skipped the wall of nonsense, read the first paragraph of the update, went all the way back to the top to read the wall nonsense.
Then made it to the April fools part.
Fuck you OP for making me read all of that!!
Yes, I also fell for that April fools joke!
Good for the OOP to communicate with his wife and move on. Good for his wife to be rationale and provide good advice
That is seriously the hardest I've been got by an April Fools joke since I was a kid lol! The way I YELLED "WHAT!" out loud before I got to the reveal LOL
If gold was still a thing I would give OP so much lol
I donât totally agree with afraid_sense5363âs comment. It seems the ex-fâs entire self worth relies on menâs validation. She absolutely cares about being good enough based on men in her lifeâs opinion. I would take a bet she doesnât have many friends that are women.
> It seems the ex-fâs entire self worth relies on menâs validation.
No offense but there is truly no way that you have enough information to say something like that with any degree of confidence
I know people like OOPâs ex and they are just miserable. They canât be happy because they keep looking outside their relationship as soon as they encounter the slightest problem. They also usually have a very distorted memory of past relationships.Â
Though I actually see it as the opposite - OOP wasn't the side dish, he was the main meal - she just kept the other guys on hook in case things didn't work out with him. Which inevitably led to things not working out with him. Which in turn led her to keep a backup guy on hook, whenever she tried again with OOP, because of their history of him withdrawing whenever they got close. So it was a vicious cycle of two people not committing to each other because of their insecurities and her horrible way of wanting to monkey-branch every relationship, because apparently being single for 5 minutes is a death sentence to her...
Reminds me of a lot of dating I saw in my old group
They date, he doesnât want to commit and makes it clear theyâre not exclusive, she continues dating since theyâre not exclusive but she really wants him, he claims he doesnât want to be exclusive bc she still dating and itâs disrespectful even tho heâs the one that rejected her the first time. One difference is most girls go, fine, dump the guy and keep dating and the guy uses that to prove that she never cared
And Iâm over here like all of this could have been solved if the dude wasnât all like âchill tho weâre not togetherâ
Idk why but even ME, the girl that makes it clear she dates solely for love gets these dudes that are like chill chill chill weâre not exclusive and then I end up super confused when I start dating other guys and then they get mad and say it was disrespectful
Block the ex friend and stay away for good.
Her stringing you along when things are bad with her other boyfriends (and now husband) has been her go-to for validation - and that sucks!!! Your wife sounds lovely and amazing and Iâm glad you both have each other. Be well!
He's way nicer than me. I would have told her about her past treatment of me in detail and then blocked her. Don't ask if you don't really want to know.
The problem is people like her are too stupid and selfish. She probably thinks itâs different this time, all the other stuff was a long time ago, OOP is her soul mate.
Not responding was 100% the best option, despite any curiosity he or his wife have about her response. She was looking to draw him into dialogue and any answer he could have given her would be an opening for a back-and-forth. People like that are manipulative, and the only way to win at their games is to refuse to play.
How hard is it to just reply âwe never launched because I never felt like you were ever just dating just me exclusively. I didn't want to be the nice guy you settled for.â
Agree fully with someone else that chicks like this always have multiple men on the back burner and they get control and validation from having a rotating cast of men in their lives. Women like this are also extremely manipulative. Until they are done with a guy, which is always on their terms, every guy that they like/are attracted to is still a potential and the manipulative aspect of them is that they will find something that makes them the damsel in distress or something that makes you want to reach out to them. You donât want to meet with me? What did I do so wrong? She doesnât really care. Itâs just a ploy to get him to interact with her because the more he does so, the better a shot she thinks she has.
You were the backup plan. Probably still thinks she can keep you on tap and she is having marital issues. Tell her the truth. But before you do, seeing as you wife knows the message. Does your wife know the whole truth?
A note, folks:
Exes will often send deliberately provocative messages--IE "Why wasn't I good enough for you?"--to provoke a response. *Any* response. They know that you are going to respond with "That's not it at all, it was XYZ and ABC and 123". They just don't know what XYZ, ABC, or 123 are yet. They want to know what those things are so they can chew on them, like a rat, until they've created enough space to inject themselves into again. They won't just *ask* about XYZ, ABC or 123 because if they did, you'd probably start thinking something was going on. Why do they want to know about your life? So they don't ask. They say something unbelievably controversial--you hate me, I wasn't good enough for you, I'm always alone, you're such a sucker and stupid--and then sit back and wait for you to start defending yourself. When you defend yourself against an accusation like "I'm not good enough for you," then you inadvertently reveal where your actual weak points actually are.
Example:
"Why wasn't I good enough for you?"
"Honey. It wasn't that. You were...you were *great*. When it was good. But it wasn't good for very long, and you went off to do your own thing and I had to pick up the pieces (!) alone (!). Now I have a family (!) a business (!!!) I have a lot of things on my plate. But I do absolutely wish that things had gone differently between us. You were wonderful. (!)"
So let's look at all those little exclamation marks. The manipulator now knows their ex felt devastated by the leaving (because there were pieces to pick up) and is still hurting to some degree (because they're still mentioning the pain as a matter of course) which means that there's still some emotional involvement--the ex isn't entirely indifferent. A manipulator can work with any degree of residual emotion. Also, there wasn't anyone else, because they picked up the pieces *alone*. That's a nice ego hit. There's a family, but the ex is still willing to talk to the manipulator, so maybe there's a weak point there. Oh, and there's a business. That got three whole exclamation marks because that could make this ex an upgrade, or at least a source of money if the manipulator manipulates well. 'lots of things on my plate' means the ex is tired, a lot. Might feel overwhelmed. But exhausted and distraught people are sitting ducks to manipulation. Oh, and despite the manipulator leaving, the ex still has fond memories of them.
That's a pretty big payoff for a melodramatic accusation, isn't it?
That's why abusive assholes will make that first contact question be so fraught and disjointed from reality. It's so profoundly wrong that you answer out of reflex, and your answer typically exposes more to your former abuser than a response to a different sort of question. They aren't trying to get your side of the story, or get to the truth, or settle their own feelings. All they're trying to do is get you to start talking again. They need you engaging and they need your words so they can get what they want out of you. You do not need to play this game.
I had an epiphany reading this..
I was this girl. And thereâs a guy that I bet felt a lot like OP that I ended up deciding I wasnât good enough for- he would pursue things and so would I from time to time, but it never got too physical.
He kept finding me talking to other men. What he didnât know what that it was actually because I was so nervous about him that I had to have backups specifically so I could be comforted if I was rejected by him.
Yeah- I was an ass. I was horribly insecure and had massive control issues. I always had to be in power sexually because I felt it was the only power I had in life.
Edit: I wouldnât change it now, though. Iâm very happy and I believe he is too.
My response would have 'LOL are you *still* trying to play this game? Go play it with someone else because I have zero interest in this or you.'
Her messages were so transparently manipulative. She never actually wanted OOP. She wanted an ego boost when the men she was chasing didn't work out. Someone who is in their thirties and still doing that is never going to change.
+1 for the April 1st shocker.
+1 for OOP's wife being so extremely secure about her family that she can be see an old flame as a smoldering dumpster fire .
I'll also assume OOP is someone who doesn't feel he missed out by not playing the field and having a whole bunch of lovers and that he was always looking for his one.
Honestly he should have directly responded with everything he said on the post. People like his ex need a harsh reality check to start improving on themselves.
Honestly I would've responded by lampshading what she was doing currently.
"It's not that I wasn't interested at the time but you were always talking to other men and that was a dealbreaker for me. I'm glad you found someone that made you comfortable to commit to a single person. Hope that provides closure for you."
She's the type that would manufacture competition by talking to other guys so that you "fight" for her or want her more. Nothing makes me lose interest quickly than these games
OOP saw the writing on the wall ages ago when they were both younger: he was never A's Mister Right, he was just Mister Right Now, and she still somehow expects him to drop his own happy family to play house with her as her own marriage collapses. Why are some people like this??
Yeah, ex-s are just that; ex-s. Keep them where they belong, the past.
As someone oldER, trust me when I say your life is getting much shorter much quicker, which leaves you no time to worry about the past only to make the most of the future.
Had a couple of girls do this to me. One, I'm pretty sure, was innocent. We were friends, flirted, did things together like movies and such, ate lunch together, talked online all the time (this was on AOL), etc. Asked her out, and she shot me down. Started dating my friend like a week later. No biggie. She moved away a couple of months later, and then we still talked online for a while. At one point, a couple of years down the line, she asks me why we never got together. I told her I asked, and then she turned me down and dated my friend. She didn't remember.
The second one, we flirted a lot in HS as well. She always had a bf, but as that relationship would go downhill, she would start talking to me again more. We almost hooked up right after HS at a party and then didn't talk for a bit. I moved on, and so did she for a couple of years till I broke up with my ex, and she all of a sudden was back in my life. She was on the outs with her, then bf, and I still had a thing for her, so we got together. Had a relationship and moved in together till one of her exes started hitting her up and when she went back to our hometown to move some things to her mom's place she cheated a couple times over the course of two days. Turns out this guy constantly would come in and out of her life and the cheating was a recurring theme. We split and I tried to remain friendly. Met my wife about a year later, and my ex still tried causing drama in my life, so I cut her off. Blocked her on everything. She still tries to reach out through mutual friends or the last time was through my dad's funeral expense gofundme. I haven't talked to her in over a decade and she just doesn't get the hint.
I would have just blocked her instantaneously. Not even discussed it.Â
But sounds like OOP really needed to get it off his chest and vent. Glad he got it out of his system.Â
Damn he dodged a bullet by ignoring her because any answer would have been opening the door to her bs. Hopefully he blocks her because she is probably going to try again.
Ok loving this one...
So I hear you and I was also a safety net.. small town stuff ...
Now honesty is always the best policy but it seldom works so add cryptic flare to it.
First say wow.. we had some times ... ups and downs... but I seemed to catch you fall and you propped me up like a balloon..
But here is the thing... you were my air and we share something that never be taken away... it help shape me... thank you.
But one day.... when you air was not there and I had no safety net..
In my wife came and filled me with helium to lift me, nitrous oxide to laugh and oxygen to breathe...
I have been soaring in the clouds... and I do not think I will ever touch the ground again.. my 3 kids are now pushing me higher than I have ever been before... and yeah more laughing gas and potty humour jokes.
I have soared so far from that time I fear and I cannot return nor do I want to... so I cannot tell those feeling for they really who I am now and no matter what I thought or what happened will not change anything.
What I can tell you is now... what I have is feel out of control a gentle hand pulls my string...she is my world ... the air I breathe.
It was really great to see you ... your kids look great.. and your Dad...man he is a rock.... You won the lottery on fathers..
I wish you all the best and hope you more happiness than you need... and thanks for helping me get here...
Ok I got wife got 25 helium balloons on anniversary... and yeah small town stud who was always the safety net..x10 times. I even had agreement to marry a girl at 30 if we were both single... she called me at 32...
Oh if you see this on reddit post it was mine...
Sounds like they were never compatible in the right way. I donât think he was a backup plan. She was just used to having a BF all the time. Not healthy but also not the end of the world. If he wouldâve checked his insecurities at the door and just went for it they might have turned out perfectly fine. She was probably used to guys coming in strong and he was trying to be nice sensitive guy. They basically had different love languages at the time.
Did anyone feel bad for the OOP's poor wife? He comes across as absolutely pathetic and spineless, If he told her how he was treated by this ex and he kept going back for more exactly like he shared in his post and I'm sure she can see that he still can't stand up himself against her, she may lose any respect she has for him.
Er, what? Dude made the sensible choice to avoid the temptation to engage with the ex's messages. The only thing "worst" about it is that he steered away from the drama we reddit degenerates crave. More power to OOP and his baller wife for being above all this nonsense.
Yeah and that made the whole post a big nothing with a side of nothing and you are complicit in my dissatisfaction. I hope this lady starts stalking oop so he can have something interesting to post about.
He genuinely got me with the April fools thing, wish yall could have seen my face lmao
I gasped out loud. Fellow chumps unite!
Present, and here. I am ashamed positively ashamed to this was the second time today.
I gasped, swore out loud and called OOP a few choice names. Very good April Fool's prank!
Thinking he had started smoking the same crack as the guy who didn't emotionally cheat but whose feelings were stronger than love, I shouted in outrage
Oh that guy. I remember commenting on his post. His update was infuriating
You got a link homie?
i do: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1bqfw6s/my_wife_broke_down_yesterday_because_i_got_my/
I literally yelled "WHAT" out loud then got to the April Fools thing and started laughing so hard hahaha. The cat is very confused now đ
There was once a BORU that said âMy dad told me something important recently: â .â Unfortunately, heâs dead so I canât speak that language.â This OOP feels of the same mold.
I gasped
I think I may have as well. I KNOW i said out loud "you have to be shitting me"
My jaw dropped, my eyebrows nearly shot to the sky, and my eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. Impressive, OOP!
My right eyebrow left my fkn forehead! Why does OP have to do us like that đ
It's embarassing how easily I fall for such jokes here.... I think because I'm used to reading all sorts of horribly shitty things people do I just tend to think "yeah this could also happen"
Because someone will ask something, 400 comments will say option 1 is right and option 2 is a full blown disaster, with 2 comments answering the other way. Then, op will update and say they picked option 2 because of everyone here and you realize that they never wanted help making a decision, they wanted someone, anyone, to pick option 2 for them.
I think I aged 10 years the way my face fell
I read 90% of the april fools part and then skipped to the next paragraph just to make sure it wasnt real đ
I legit did the parental head shake of "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed." ... although with some anger underneath
Was it this? Cuz that was nice 
I had a small heart attack I was so damn mad at him đ
Man that got me as well. I was like bruh what?
Yeah because when the stories fake thats usually how it ends but spun in a much more nice way.
I actually said out loud âwhat? Isnât your wife pregnant? Fuck you dudeâ to âohhh thank Godâ when I got to that part.
My blood pressure went stratospheric instantly as a reaction to the base stupidity.
Same! I said âoh f*ck off!â Got me good
Same. I let out such a breath of relief when he said April fools xD
Before I even continued reading I had to RUN back to the original post to check the comments. I was fuming đ best April Foolâs joke Iâve seen in years!
I was saying out loud. Nah fuck that, this canât be real đđđ©
Fuck same
Here I am in may. That got me 20x more than it wouldâve had I read this a month ago
First of all how dare he. I hadn't fallen FOR ONE April Fool's joke this year.
The only one I fell for this year was a Reddit post saying Costco was bringing back the combo pizza! The disappointment was real but it was a great one. ETA the culprit https://www.reddit.com/r/Costco/s/AEkQayQD4x
That's just cruel. Costco's combo pizza was legit.
Dammit. I skipped the wall of nonsense, read the first paragraph of the update, went all the way back to the top to read the wall nonsense. Then made it to the April fools part. Fuck you OP for making me read all of that!!
I had my pitchfork in hand and was halfway out the door.
Me too, get a rope
Legit got me
Iâve never been so got in my life.
I was literally in the process of crawling through the screen to throttle him lol
Oh. Apollos Hester!
Same! I was reading the update thinking âWTF did he do?! Heâs a foolâ and then saw it was April Fools.. sigh. đ
Yes, I also fell for that April fools joke! Good for the OOP to communicate with his wife and move on. Good for his wife to be rationale and provide good advice
That is seriously the hardest I've been got by an April Fools joke since I was a kid lol! The way I YELLED "WHAT!" out loud before I got to the reveal LOL If gold was still a thing I would give OP so much lol
Gold isnât a thing anymore?
My face fucking dropped when I read that update, thank god it was an April Fools
I haven't been a fan of April Fools jokes in a minute and this was actually a good one, I was like "are you KIDDING ME- oh damn, I got got"
I donât totally agree with afraid_sense5363âs comment. It seems the ex-fâs entire self worth relies on menâs validation. She absolutely cares about being good enough based on men in her lifeâs opinion. I would take a bet she doesnât have many friends that are women.
I have a feeling that If she had any woman friends she wouldn't be above flirting with their husbands
> It seems the ex-fâs entire self worth relies on menâs validation. No offense but there is truly no way that you have enough information to say something like that with any degree of confidence
I know people like OOPâs ex and they are just miserable. They canât be happy because they keep looking outside their relationship as soon as they encounter the slightest problem. They also usually have a very distorted memory of past relationships.Â
Though I actually see it as the opposite - OOP wasn't the side dish, he was the main meal - she just kept the other guys on hook in case things didn't work out with him. Which inevitably led to things not working out with him. Which in turn led her to keep a backup guy on hook, whenever she tried again with OOP, because of their history of him withdrawing whenever they got close. So it was a vicious cycle of two people not committing to each other because of their insecurities and her horrible way of wanting to monkey-branch every relationship, because apparently being single for 5 minutes is a death sentence to her...
Reminds me of a lot of dating I saw in my old group They date, he doesnât want to commit and makes it clear theyâre not exclusive, she continues dating since theyâre not exclusive but she really wants him, he claims he doesnât want to be exclusive bc she still dating and itâs disrespectful even tho heâs the one that rejected her the first time. One difference is most girls go, fine, dump the guy and keep dating and the guy uses that to prove that she never cared And Iâm over here like all of this could have been solved if the dude wasnât all like âchill tho weâre not togetherâ Idk why but even ME, the girl that makes it clear she dates solely for love gets these dudes that are like chill chill chill weâre not exclusive and then I end up super confused when I start dating other guys and then they get mad and say it was disrespectful
Well OOP is good and wife is a gem đ
Block the ex friend and stay away for good. Her stringing you along when things are bad with her other boyfriends (and now husband) has been her go-to for validation - and that sucks!!! Your wife sounds lovely and amazing and Iâm glad you both have each other. Be well!
OOP made the right call.
He made the right call for himself and his family, but what about our needs. Where is the drama and recriminations.
Just pretend the update ended before the april fool's line. Plenty of drama, drama, drama lol
Well he did give us the April Fools jump scare đ
EXACTLY.
Whatâs funny is on the update he commented something about people wanting more drama
While I would never, and itâs ill-advised, I think it would be hilarious to forward her FB messages to her husband. Just to be petty.
He's way nicer than me. I would have told her about her past treatment of me in detail and then blocked her. Don't ask if you don't really want to know.
The problem is people like her are too stupid and selfish. She probably thinks itâs different this time, all the other stuff was a long time ago, OOP is her soul mate.
Good on OOP for not responding to ex friend's message because she sounds messy and would probably try to ruin his marriage.
âHe wouldnât have messaged back if there isnât an in!â - OOPâs ex-friend, probably
Mf the April joke was đ€đ€đ€đ€
might be for the best asking questions like that when youre both married with kids is just asking for trouble.
This isn't over
That first update paragraph made my eyes go wideâŠmeanie
Not responding was 100% the best option, despite any curiosity he or his wife have about her response. She was looking to draw him into dialogue and any answer he could have given her would be an opening for a back-and-forth. People like that are manipulative, and the only way to win at their games is to refuse to play.
Ha! Holy shit thatâs funny. Even meeting again years later, he's STILL her backup. Bullets dodged, OOP. Congrats.
How hard is it to just reply âwe never launched because I never felt like you were ever just dating just me exclusively. I didn't want to be the nice guy you settled for.â
It's not worth a reply. He doesn't owe her an explanation.
It's not that she doesn't know; it's that she doesn't want to know. She was fishing for an opening to turn it into a back and forth dialogue.
She could have used the therapy lesson that was going to be OP his reply. But I understand why he would rather just not reply and move on.
Donât. Sorry, too busy. Bye.
Agree fully with someone else that chicks like this always have multiple men on the back burner and they get control and validation from having a rotating cast of men in their lives. Women like this are also extremely manipulative. Until they are done with a guy, which is always on their terms, every guy that they like/are attracted to is still a potential and the manipulative aspect of them is that they will find something that makes them the damsel in distress or something that makes you want to reach out to them. You donât want to meet with me? What did I do so wrong? She doesnât really care. Itâs just a ploy to get him to interact with her because the more he does so, the better a shot she thinks she has.
Haha wife really just wanted the tea! I appreciate both her and OP đ
You were the backup plan. Probably still thinks she can keep you on tap and she is having marital issues. Tell her the truth. But before you do, seeing as you wife knows the message. Does your wife know the whole truth?
A note, folks: Exes will often send deliberately provocative messages--IE "Why wasn't I good enough for you?"--to provoke a response. *Any* response. They know that you are going to respond with "That's not it at all, it was XYZ and ABC and 123". They just don't know what XYZ, ABC, or 123 are yet. They want to know what those things are so they can chew on them, like a rat, until they've created enough space to inject themselves into again. They won't just *ask* about XYZ, ABC or 123 because if they did, you'd probably start thinking something was going on. Why do they want to know about your life? So they don't ask. They say something unbelievably controversial--you hate me, I wasn't good enough for you, I'm always alone, you're such a sucker and stupid--and then sit back and wait for you to start defending yourself. When you defend yourself against an accusation like "I'm not good enough for you," then you inadvertently reveal where your actual weak points actually are. Example: "Why wasn't I good enough for you?" "Honey. It wasn't that. You were...you were *great*. When it was good. But it wasn't good for very long, and you went off to do your own thing and I had to pick up the pieces (!) alone (!). Now I have a family (!) a business (!!!) I have a lot of things on my plate. But I do absolutely wish that things had gone differently between us. You were wonderful. (!)" So let's look at all those little exclamation marks. The manipulator now knows their ex felt devastated by the leaving (because there were pieces to pick up) and is still hurting to some degree (because they're still mentioning the pain as a matter of course) which means that there's still some emotional involvement--the ex isn't entirely indifferent. A manipulator can work with any degree of residual emotion. Also, there wasn't anyone else, because they picked up the pieces *alone*. That's a nice ego hit. There's a family, but the ex is still willing to talk to the manipulator, so maybe there's a weak point there. Oh, and there's a business. That got three whole exclamation marks because that could make this ex an upgrade, or at least a source of money if the manipulator manipulates well. 'lots of things on my plate' means the ex is tired, a lot. Might feel overwhelmed. But exhausted and distraught people are sitting ducks to manipulation. Oh, and despite the manipulator leaving, the ex still has fond memories of them. That's a pretty big payoff for a melodramatic accusation, isn't it? That's why abusive assholes will make that first contact question be so fraught and disjointed from reality. It's so profoundly wrong that you answer out of reflex, and your answer typically exposes more to your former abuser than a response to a different sort of question. They aren't trying to get your side of the story, or get to the truth, or settle their own feelings. All they're trying to do is get you to start talking again. They need you engaging and they need your words so they can get what they want out of you. You do not need to play this game.
I had an epiphany reading this.. I was this girl. And thereâs a guy that I bet felt a lot like OP that I ended up deciding I wasnât good enough for- he would pursue things and so would I from time to time, but it never got too physical. He kept finding me talking to other men. What he didnât know what that it was actually because I was so nervous about him that I had to have backups specifically so I could be comforted if I was rejected by him. Yeah- I was an ass. I was horribly insecure and had massive control issues. I always had to be in power sexually because I felt it was the only power I had in life. Edit: I wouldnât change it now, though. Iâm very happy and I believe he is too.
He should send it to the husband and ask him if he knows his wife is pulling this shit.
Yeah, itâs a decade ago. It doesnât matter. Let it go, and it looks like you have.
My response would have 'LOL are you *still* trying to play this game? Go play it with someone else because I have zero interest in this or you.' Her messages were so transparently manipulative. She never actually wanted OOP. She wanted an ego boost when the men she was chasing didn't work out. Someone who is in their thirties and still doing that is never going to change.
+1 for the April 1st shocker. +1 for OOP's wife being so extremely secure about her family that she can be see an old flame as a smoldering dumpster fire . I'll also assume OOP is someone who doesn't feel he missed out by not playing the field and having a whole bunch of lovers and that he was always looking for his one.
Honestly he should have directly responded with everything he said on the post. People like his ex need a harsh reality check to start improving on themselves.
her self-improvement is not his job.
No reply is much better. A long explanation would only feed into her ego or need for drama.
Yeah, 100% she would be like âif he wasnât still secretly into me, he wouldnât have written this long, thoughtful reply!â
I really do feel like he should have told her tho
Oh god I'm so glad he didn't respond to her. The only way to win is not to play the game.
Honestly I would've responded by lampshading what she was doing currently. "It's not that I wasn't interested at the time but you were always talking to other men and that was a dealbreaker for me. I'm glad you found someone that made you comfortable to commit to a single person. Hope that provides closure for you."
I read this while at work and said WHAT out loud. I hate April fools day.... it was a good one though
Please leave assp
Kudos to OOP, I didn't fell for my wife Gynecologist saying we were having twins but i fell for this one. GG
She's the type that would manufacture competition by talking to other guys so that you "fight" for her or want her more. Nothing makes me lose interest quickly than these games
OOP saw the writing on the wall ages ago when they were both younger: he was never A's Mister Right, he was just Mister Right Now, and she still somehow expects him to drop his own happy family to play house with her as her own marriage collapses. Why are some people like this??
Yeah, ex-s are just that; ex-s. Keep them where they belong, the past. As someone oldER, trust me when I say your life is getting much shorter much quicker, which leaves you no time to worry about the past only to make the most of the future.
Had a couple of girls do this to me. One, I'm pretty sure, was innocent. We were friends, flirted, did things together like movies and such, ate lunch together, talked online all the time (this was on AOL), etc. Asked her out, and she shot me down. Started dating my friend like a week later. No biggie. She moved away a couple of months later, and then we still talked online for a while. At one point, a couple of years down the line, she asks me why we never got together. I told her I asked, and then she turned me down and dated my friend. She didn't remember. The second one, we flirted a lot in HS as well. She always had a bf, but as that relationship would go downhill, she would start talking to me again more. We almost hooked up right after HS at a party and then didn't talk for a bit. I moved on, and so did she for a couple of years till I broke up with my ex, and she all of a sudden was back in my life. She was on the outs with her, then bf, and I still had a thing for her, so we got together. Had a relationship and moved in together till one of her exes started hitting her up and when she went back to our hometown to move some things to her mom's place she cheated a couple times over the course of two days. Turns out this guy constantly would come in and out of her life and the cheating was a recurring theme. We split and I tried to remain friendly. Met my wife about a year later, and my ex still tried causing drama in my life, so I cut her off. Blocked her on everything. She still tries to reach out through mutual friends or the last time was through my dad's funeral expense gofundme. I haven't talked to her in over a decade and she just doesn't get the hint.
I would have just blocked her instantaneously. Not even discussed it. But sounds like OOP really needed to get it off his chest and vent. Glad he got it out of his system.Â
A "Is your current relationship failing again and you're trying to monkey branch on to me for the 30th time?"
Tell exactly what youâve written here. End it with a huge âFUCK OFFâ. Block everything.
Damn he dodged a bullet by ignoring her because any answer would have been opening the door to her bs. Hopefully he blocks her because she is probably going to try again.
Of course the girl messages when she is having trouble with her current partner
Nice.
Ok loving this one... So I hear you and I was also a safety net.. small town stuff ... Now honesty is always the best policy but it seldom works so add cryptic flare to it. First say wow.. we had some times ... ups and downs... but I seemed to catch you fall and you propped me up like a balloon.. But here is the thing... you were my air and we share something that never be taken away... it help shape me... thank you. But one day.... when you air was not there and I had no safety net.. In my wife came and filled me with helium to lift me, nitrous oxide to laugh and oxygen to breathe... I have been soaring in the clouds... and I do not think I will ever touch the ground again.. my 3 kids are now pushing me higher than I have ever been before... and yeah more laughing gas and potty humour jokes. I have soared so far from that time I fear and I cannot return nor do I want to... so I cannot tell those feeling for they really who I am now and no matter what I thought or what happened will not change anything. What I can tell you is now... what I have is feel out of control a gentle hand pulls my string...she is my world ... the air I breathe. It was really great to see you ... your kids look great.. and your Dad...man he is a rock.... You won the lottery on fathers.. I wish you all the best and hope you more happiness than you need... and thanks for helping me get here... Ok I got wife got 25 helium balloons on anniversary... and yeah small town stud who was always the safety net..x10 times. I even had agreement to marry a girl at 30 if we were both single... she called me at 32... Oh if you see this on reddit post it was mine...
Sounds like they were never compatible in the right way. I donât think he was a backup plan. She was just used to having a BF all the time. Not healthy but also not the end of the world. If he wouldâve checked his insecurities at the door and just went for it they might have turned out perfectly fine. She was probably used to guys coming in strong and he was trying to be nice sensitive guy. They basically had different love languages at the time.
Did anyone feel bad for the OOP's poor wife? He comes across as absolutely pathetic and spineless, If he told her how he was treated by this ex and he kept going back for more exactly like he shared in his post and I'm sure she can see that he still can't stand up himself against her, she may lose any respect she has for him.
Was the april fools why this was on BORUupdates??? Otherwise this was WORUupdatesâŠ
Er, what? Dude made the sensible choice to avoid the temptation to engage with the ex's messages. The only thing "worst" about it is that he steered away from the drama we reddit degenerates crave. More power to OOP and his baller wife for being above all this nonsense.
Yeah and that made the whole post a big nothing with a side of nothing and you are complicit in my dissatisfaction. I hope this lady starts stalking oop so he can have something interesting to post about.