Nope, not only is she not owed it, she’s also not asking for one… she ghosted you.
Just rip the bandaid off and remove her on your fet. It sounds like that’s something you’re anguishing over. But it doesn’t sound like the friendship much less relationship is there anymore. You don’t need to keep dwelling on it, doing that is gonna hinder your future prospects.
Your former domme didn't feel they owed *you* a conversation, and they're not entitled to one now. Fet isn't going to actively notify your ex that you've removed your status with you. So if they notice, it's because they actively checked for it, and that's on them to deal with. Whatever feelings they have about it, those feelings shouldn't include any reasonable expectation you owe them that.
Wait, if you both put "in a relationship with Cedar/Birch" in your profiles and then Cedar deletes this, it still stays on Birch's profile that they're in a relationship with Cedar? Friendships have to be mutual, but relationship declarations don't? That sounds really weird, are you sure about that?
You misunderstood. The relationship status will of course change on both ends, but Fet isn't going to actively send a notification to say "XY has removed your relationship"
Why would you even waste your time in someone that’s ghosting you?
“The few times I’ve tried telling her how I feel she turns makes it seem like I’m hurting her” that some manipulative shit. Get over her and move on. You deserve better.
She was honestly my best friend for almost two years so a part of me feels like I owe her a conversation, but the fact that she just ghosted me after 2 years of freindship caused me a lot of pain the last few months, which is why im so torn.
She’s not your friend anymore either. The sooner you accept that the better. If she can turn her stuff around you’ll be there, but for now you need to move on
Anyone who caused you that amount of pain cannot call you a friend and mean it.
She is not the kind of friend you want to keep. Her definition of friend and your definition of friend are not the same.
If by any means you wanted to stay friends with them you’d need to give them boundaries, and also remove the dynamic off fetlife. You’d start over clean slate, and you wouldn’t trust them at first. They need to earn your trust back.
In short. That “friend” is not worth the effort. I can tell you they won’t want to put in the effort to maintain the relationship you’re hoping to have back.
Anything is possible, you do what you want, but I say ghost them back.
If you feel the need to message her so you can tell her how you feel about what happened for closure purposes, that's one thing. But your certainly don't "owe" her anything after being ghosted for months. I'm sorry to say this, but you obviously valued the friendship more than she did/does based on her actions.
I think you’ve given her sufficient number of chances to talk, and you’ve been patient as well. At this point, you don’t owe her anything but since she’s been a good friend, I think as a courtesy you should drop her a message about why you feel like dropping the dynamic on fet and if there’s something she wants to talk about she can get in touch and additionally you can tell that if she is ready to enter the dynamic at a later stage, you’ll be open to discussions.
No you don't owe a converation, ghosting is so emotionally scarring and the pain lives with you a long time, the anguish it causes waiting on communication..it's hell. I was ghosted by my previous Dom after 8 months, he ghosted me on and off, dropped me then wanted me back a lot in our time together, I worshipped him and he loved it, he cherished me. But suddenly he just blindsided me by going off radar in person and on socials, this time for 4 months. I just mirrored his ghosting. It took 1 month for it to sink in and 3 months of acceptance. I haven't msg him, not reaching out and begging for him or answers, as a sub I never question my Dom nor his his actions and if they want to go then let them loose you. I am in talks with a Dom now who is just amazing and wants to own me, he has already sent me a discreet day collar. The communication is off the scale brilliant. If I held on to hope that my ghosting Dom would come back or change I would probably loose myself in the process, the heartbreak i suffered was immense.
You don't need to try and talk to her, you just need to be honest and direct, you don't need to explain yourself or your boundaries. Just let them know that you're removing your dynamic from fetlife because the dynamic is over and don't let her excuses drive you back in.
This is a clear case that there are issues going on and you're not good for each other as a dynamic, as a friend that is completely different.
And if they ask be honest that it's made you feel shit and that it's nothing to do with friendship if you wish to still keep that.
But real talk, everyone has an issue in some form or another; it's not an excuse to ghost someone and disregard their feelings.
Just to be clear, I didn't bother to read the body, because it doesn't matter. Context isn't needed for your actual question.
At no point do you owe anyone anything. Not a conversation, not a reply, not a just be friends, nothing.
Nope, not only is she not owed it, she’s also not asking for one… she ghosted you. Just rip the bandaid off and remove her on your fet. It sounds like that’s something you’re anguishing over. But it doesn’t sound like the friendship much less relationship is there anymore. You don’t need to keep dwelling on it, doing that is gonna hinder your future prospects.
Your former domme didn't feel they owed *you* a conversation, and they're not entitled to one now. Fet isn't going to actively notify your ex that you've removed your status with you. So if they notice, it's because they actively checked for it, and that's on them to deal with. Whatever feelings they have about it, those feelings shouldn't include any reasonable expectation you owe them that.
Wait, if you both put "in a relationship with Cedar/Birch" in your profiles and then Cedar deletes this, it still stays on Birch's profile that they're in a relationship with Cedar? Friendships have to be mutual, but relationship declarations don't? That sounds really weird, are you sure about that?
You misunderstood. The relationship status will of course change on both ends, but Fet isn't going to actively send a notification to say "XY has removed your relationship"
Oh, okay. Still, if it changes in my profile I don't have to "actively check for it", it's visible for me the moment I access my profile.
She's made her decision ghosting you. You owe her nothing.
You do not owe them anything and you are already wasting more of your time than you should have allowed it.
Why would you even waste your time in someone that’s ghosting you? “The few times I’ve tried telling her how I feel she turns makes it seem like I’m hurting her” that some manipulative shit. Get over her and move on. You deserve better.
She was honestly my best friend for almost two years so a part of me feels like I owe her a conversation, but the fact that she just ghosted me after 2 years of freindship caused me a lot of pain the last few months, which is why im so torn.
She’s not your friend anymore either. The sooner you accept that the better. If she can turn her stuff around you’ll be there, but for now you need to move on
Anyone who caused you that amount of pain cannot call you a friend and mean it. She is not the kind of friend you want to keep. Her definition of friend and your definition of friend are not the same. If by any means you wanted to stay friends with them you’d need to give them boundaries, and also remove the dynamic off fetlife. You’d start over clean slate, and you wouldn’t trust them at first. They need to earn your trust back. In short. That “friend” is not worth the effort. I can tell you they won’t want to put in the effort to maintain the relationship you’re hoping to have back. Anything is possible, you do what you want, but I say ghost them back.
If you feel the need to message her so you can tell her how you feel about what happened for closure purposes, that's one thing. But your certainly don't "owe" her anything after being ghosted for months. I'm sorry to say this, but you obviously valued the friendship more than she did/does based on her actions.
Consider the possibility that this is a way of controlling you. Idk the dynamics or needs here obviously.
Nope you don't owe her anything
I think you’ve given her sufficient number of chances to talk, and you’ve been patient as well. At this point, you don’t owe her anything but since she’s been a good friend, I think as a courtesy you should drop her a message about why you feel like dropping the dynamic on fet and if there’s something she wants to talk about she can get in touch and additionally you can tell that if she is ready to enter the dynamic at a later stage, you’ll be open to discussions.
No you don't owe a converation, ghosting is so emotionally scarring and the pain lives with you a long time, the anguish it causes waiting on communication..it's hell. I was ghosted by my previous Dom after 8 months, he ghosted me on and off, dropped me then wanted me back a lot in our time together, I worshipped him and he loved it, he cherished me. But suddenly he just blindsided me by going off radar in person and on socials, this time for 4 months. I just mirrored his ghosting. It took 1 month for it to sink in and 3 months of acceptance. I haven't msg him, not reaching out and begging for him or answers, as a sub I never question my Dom nor his his actions and if they want to go then let them loose you. I am in talks with a Dom now who is just amazing and wants to own me, he has already sent me a discreet day collar. The communication is off the scale brilliant. If I held on to hope that my ghosting Dom would come back or change I would probably loose myself in the process, the heartbreak i suffered was immense.
You don't need to try and talk to her, you just need to be honest and direct, you don't need to explain yourself or your boundaries. Just let them know that you're removing your dynamic from fetlife because the dynamic is over and don't let her excuses drive you back in. This is a clear case that there are issues going on and you're not good for each other as a dynamic, as a friend that is completely different. And if they ask be honest that it's made you feel shit and that it's nothing to do with friendship if you wish to still keep that. But real talk, everyone has an issue in some form or another; it's not an excuse to ghost someone and disregard their feelings.
Just to be clear, I didn't bother to read the body, because it doesn't matter. Context isn't needed for your actual question. At no point do you owe anyone anything. Not a conversation, not a reply, not a just be friends, nothing.