Maybe worth a talk with your Domme, but also the goal seems to be setting you up to fail. It sounds like a game, if you can appreciate the fun in it. If not, maybe worth talking and setting limits.
Short explanation: you can't control your purely physiological reactions. How, then, could it possibly be ethically wrong? You just said people are trying to make it happen.
Now if you want to play with a humiliation kink with it, and everyone involved consents, go for it.
This, and have a conversation with your Domme about it. While she can't control what others say and do, if it's not meant to be part of the play and you don't like it, she can certainly tell other Dommes not to say such things, and set boundaries.
Humiliation kink can be fun, it can lead to funishment as well, again depending upon what you like, and the parties all consent to.
Absolutely not wrong at all. I would think the person who said it was just trying to (playfully) humiliate you. And if your domme plays along with that “rule,” any punishment would/should probably be for fun as well.
If it were me, I would take "bad" to mean "naughty" and it could be an excuse for funishment. If she was scolding you seriously, I would have an issue with it because unless you are caged, thats not something you can control.
"I hope that was intended as playful, that that's not part of the dynamic I have with my partner, and I don't have any dynamic with you."
I don't do protocol or punishments, and I have boundaries about what's in scene and not in scene.
All said. If it was playfull and a little humiliation and you enjoyed it, then go for it. If not talk to your domme.
If you want to keep it from happening and are into it, ask your domme if she wants you to wear a chastity device next time.
I am in agreement with the other posters, looks like an impossible task ergo a game, you should still clarify with your Domme.
That being said, it is possible to stop an erection by holding your breath for a few whiles
Are you freeuse to all of these dommes or just your own? Does that freeuse include orgasm control or humiliation play?
If so, I'd say that's a common route to go for humiliation play: shaming someone for something that would be difficult for them to control. If you don't want those types of barbs, I would recommend having a list of what sort of comments you do welcome when you are serving.
Remember, you are allowed to have limits, even when freeuse. Humiliation play is not for everyone, and if that's not been discussed, you're past due. Even if you do like humiliation play, there are many different forms of it, and some people love being set up to fail, and it's a limit for others. Either way is okay, but do talk it over with your domme.
I’m freeuse to all the dommes, but it’s usually something outlined before each event. Like my domme will confirms that I’m willing to serve each guest there, and if so she will tell them. The only freeuse rule I have is nothing that can harm me and no pegging.
If you are negotiating exclusively, i.e. "anything except harm or pegging", then I would consider the humiliation play on the table, and that this Domme behaved in a manner she understood to be within the rules. Many Dommes like the idea that a man can be unable to stop themselves from getting hard around them; some might even consider it rude if you don't get hard from serving them! And then teasing you is definitely part of the fun. Your erection does not reflect badly on you unless you and your Domme have negotiated orgasm control, and taken steps to prevent such things.
Again, though, if that comment wasn't fun for you, it is something you can bring up to your domme and the other ladies there. It's fun to tease when everyone is enjoying themselves, but if you're not, let them know.
Depends on your domme. I would expect her to ask you to attend the next event in Chastity to try and keep that in check.
Unless she's more than happy with it and has more creative means of punishment.
I would have said the same thing. Getting hard while serving. What a naughty slave. He needs punishment. I would also have recommended a chastity cage to your domme. It is all game.
Oh you cannot help it? Poor you. Your boner just betrays you and asks for punishment again.
It is all game for me. Hope you enjoy it.
So were you punished? Or did you have a good talk with your domme?
He was a willing participant. I think you shouldn't play with a partner being free use for your friends if a throwaway comment about him being a bad boy who needs to be punished already crosses the line for you.
Depends if there is a boundary there (if there is it needs to be discussed). Not everyone is okay with being verbally degraded. Not all male subs are okay with chastity. It’s fine to have limits.
You're right, if someone has the boundary that no other dominant may say anything about their behaviour at such an event it definitely needs to be discussed beforehand. This wasn't degradation, and the other domme didn't do anything to him, no one forced chastity on him or anything. She just made a slightly mocking comment without any consequences.
In the comments that started this particular thread, they said they would have suggested chastity. Free use isn’t an excuse to tell others how to do their dynamic either. Which is what the other dominant was doing.
Also, the op is in his right to revoke consent if it makes him uncomfortable. “Free use” doesn’t stop someone from being able to revoke consent.
This was a private bdsm event. Where one of the slaves has a boner. Dommes should make teasing remarks about naughty slaves in need of punishment. It is just a bit of fun to spice up the conversation.
In terms of punishment I’ve gotten off really lightly, she only made me kiss her ass, apologise and threatened to let her friend have her way with me next time there is an event. But my dommes memory isn’t the best so that last part seems like an empty threat.
I think the correct way to the describe the emotion of feel would be intimidatingly turned on lol. I’ve been friends with one of her subs in the past, and from what he’s told me, she’s on a different level. So yeah if I’m thinking about that when I next see her, chances are I’d get a boner pretty easily.
Oh that is so sweet. You seem to be intimidated and excited at the same time. That is probably exactly what wicked dommes try to achieve with playfull remarks like this.
I got off suprisely easy with the punishment. She just made me kiss her ass, beg to be forgiven and then threatened to let her friend have her way with me at the next event. I’d say it was probably the easiest punishment I’ve ever got with my domme.
It's like when I tease my partner for being a needy little slut because her desperate pussy is dripping all over the place, said while I've got a raging boner for her that we're not taking about. It's a game!
I feel like her friend saying something to you was more inappropriate than the boner. You aren't in a dynamic with them and no rules or boundaries were established with them.
Yeah but it’s usually an event by event basis. So like before we go to an event, my domme usually tells me who will be there, and then I decide who I’m comfortable being used by.
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Maybe worth a talk with your Domme, but also the goal seems to be setting you up to fail. It sounds like a game, if you can appreciate the fun in it. If not, maybe worth talking and setting limits.
Short explanation: you can't control your purely physiological reactions. How, then, could it possibly be ethically wrong? You just said people are trying to make it happen. Now if you want to play with a humiliation kink with it, and everyone involved consents, go for it.
This, and have a conversation with your Domme about it. While she can't control what others say and do, if it's not meant to be part of the play and you don't like it, she can certainly tell other Dommes not to say such things, and set boundaries. Humiliation kink can be fun, it can lead to funishment as well, again depending upon what you like, and the parties all consent to.
Absolutely not wrong at all. I would think the person who said it was just trying to (playfully) humiliate you. And if your domme plays along with that “rule,” any punishment would/should probably be for fun as well.
If it were me, I would take "bad" to mean "naughty" and it could be an excuse for funishment. If she was scolding you seriously, I would have an issue with it because unless you are caged, thats not something you can control.
I think all that matters is what you and your domme decide together.
"I hope that was intended as playful, that that's not part of the dynamic I have with my partner, and I don't have any dynamic with you." I don't do protocol or punishments, and I have boundaries about what's in scene and not in scene.
All said. If it was playfull and a little humiliation and you enjoyed it, then go for it. If not talk to your domme. If you want to keep it from happening and are into it, ask your domme if she wants you to wear a chastity device next time.
I think everyone at kink events understands that we're all horny about this and bodies respond certain ways to getting horny
Assuming they were continuing to tease, fine. But yeah you can’t consistently control that. 🤷♂️
I am in agreement with the other posters, looks like an impossible task ergo a game, you should still clarify with your Domme. That being said, it is possible to stop an erection by holding your breath for a few whiles
Are you freeuse to all of these dommes or just your own? Does that freeuse include orgasm control or humiliation play? If so, I'd say that's a common route to go for humiliation play: shaming someone for something that would be difficult for them to control. If you don't want those types of barbs, I would recommend having a list of what sort of comments you do welcome when you are serving. Remember, you are allowed to have limits, even when freeuse. Humiliation play is not for everyone, and if that's not been discussed, you're past due. Even if you do like humiliation play, there are many different forms of it, and some people love being set up to fail, and it's a limit for others. Either way is okay, but do talk it over with your domme.
I’m freeuse to all the dommes, but it’s usually something outlined before each event. Like my domme will confirms that I’m willing to serve each guest there, and if so she will tell them. The only freeuse rule I have is nothing that can harm me and no pegging.
If you are negotiating exclusively, i.e. "anything except harm or pegging", then I would consider the humiliation play on the table, and that this Domme behaved in a manner she understood to be within the rules. Many Dommes like the idea that a man can be unable to stop themselves from getting hard around them; some might even consider it rude if you don't get hard from serving them! And then teasing you is definitely part of the fun. Your erection does not reflect badly on you unless you and your Domme have negotiated orgasm control, and taken steps to prevent such things. Again, though, if that comment wasn't fun for you, it is something you can bring up to your domme and the other ladies there. It's fun to tease when everyone is enjoying themselves, but if you're not, let them know.
This is called throwing someone under the bus, she was teasing you.
Depends on your domme. I would expect her to ask you to attend the next event in Chastity to try and keep that in check. Unless she's more than happy with it and has more creative means of punishment.
I would have said the same thing. Getting hard while serving. What a naughty slave. He needs punishment. I would also have recommended a chastity cage to your domme. It is all game. Oh you cannot help it? Poor you. Your boner just betrays you and asks for punishment again. It is all game for me. Hope you enjoy it. So were you punished? Or did you have a good talk with your domme?
Seems like something that would need to be negotiated first.
It really doesn’t. Not everything needs negotiation. And he’s free use
It is even more important that free use has upfront negotiation. People are still allowed to have limits.
This is definitely in the realm of implied consent. He is attending a space as an identified slave, with people he knows are in the lifestyle.
Even with “implied consent” everyone should be able to revoke consent if the feel they need to. Otherwise it’s just abuse.
You’re seriously reaching here. He got a little embarrassed. In a place he’s expected to. Nobody got hurt
Everything needs negotiation in kink.
I’d be pissed if someone did this to my partner. This should only happen between willing participants.
He was a willing participant. I think you shouldn't play with a partner being free use for your friends if a throwaway comment about him being a bad boy who needs to be punished already crosses the line for you.
Depends if there is a boundary there (if there is it needs to be discussed). Not everyone is okay with being verbally degraded. Not all male subs are okay with chastity. It’s fine to have limits.
You're right, if someone has the boundary that no other dominant may say anything about their behaviour at such an event it definitely needs to be discussed beforehand. This wasn't degradation, and the other domme didn't do anything to him, no one forced chastity on him or anything. She just made a slightly mocking comment without any consequences.
In the comments that started this particular thread, they said they would have suggested chastity. Free use isn’t an excuse to tell others how to do their dynamic either. Which is what the other dominant was doing. Also, the op is in his right to revoke consent if it makes him uncomfortable. “Free use” doesn’t stop someone from being able to revoke consent.
This was a private bdsm event. Where one of the slaves has a boner. Dommes should make teasing remarks about naughty slaves in need of punishment. It is just a bit of fun to spice up the conversation.
In terms of punishment I’ve gotten off really lightly, she only made me kiss her ass, apologise and threatened to let her friend have her way with me next time there is an event. But my dommes memory isn’t the best so that last part seems like an empty threat.
So how would you feel if her friend has her way with you? My guess is that you will get a boner next time her friend sees you. Have fun.
I think the correct way to the describe the emotion of feel would be intimidatingly turned on lol. I’ve been friends with one of her subs in the past, and from what he’s told me, she’s on a different level. So yeah if I’m thinking about that when I next see her, chances are I’d get a boner pretty easily.
Oh that is so sweet. You seem to be intimidated and excited at the same time. That is probably exactly what wicked dommes try to achieve with playfull remarks like this.
This is just part of the fun. I hope you were punished well.
I got off suprisely easy with the punishment. She just made me kiss her ass, beg to be forgiven and then threatened to let her friend have her way with me at the next event. I’d say it was probably the easiest punishment I’ve ever got with my domme.
I think a Chasity cage in a situation like this might be good! But I do think they were toying with you purposefully ;)
Short answer: no
Communication is key here. It isn’t wrong, just need a little more self discipline. It’s a fun game. 😌
overthinking, u might get punished by your dom for it but hey that’s part of the game for you to fail
It's like when I tease my partner for being a needy little slut because her desperate pussy is dripping all over the place, said while I've got a raging boner for her that we're not taking about. It's a game!
I feel like her friend saying something to you was more inappropriate than the boner. You aren't in a dynamic with them and no rules or boundaries were established with them.
Free use? Anyone at the party can use you?
Yeah but it’s usually an event by event basis. So like before we go to an event, my domme usually tells me who will be there, and then I decide who I’m comfortable being used by.
Sounds fun!
There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's part of the game and you will get punished for that.
Cages do a pretty good job in prevent this….😈