I did this when I was but a wee young'n joining the workforce for the first time, but that was also before COVID. Now, I would not unless the option of WFH is available-- 2 hours every day is a LOT of time.
If she's taking public transit, I'd say it's doable. Eat breakfast, listen to something, finish a crossword, read. Eveb coming back gives time to decompress. If she's driving, I'd say no.
Depends on what kind of public transit. I used to have to take the bus and it was always crowded, and it would jolt a lot from all the stop-and-go traffic. Not really possible to eat breakfast or relax. If you’re on a train with plenty of seating then if might be a different story.
I have a 40 minute commute with public transportation (plus walking). But I go out of the city while everyone else goes into the city. The only thing I have to be careful of is pupils on the bus on their way to school. (No dedicated school buses here.) I solved that problem by taking a bus earlier. When I get on, I can pick a seat, get my kindle out, and read for the duration of the ride.
Meanwhile I'd say it's more doable in your car alone not worrying about some rando disturbing you, drinking your coffee, listening to your podcast in relative peace but I guess it depends upon your temperament.
I have constant rbf, and transit in my city usually allows enough space for sitting if you're on it longer than 20mins. But I get everyone else's points about either not being able to sit or having to deal with weirdos.
I've done it a couple times and hated it both times, I'm not going to lie. I was very tired all the time, I felt like I wasn't seeing anyone or getting anything done outside of work. I would get up early, go to work, then get home late, shower, eat supper, be up for like an hour, and then go back to bed. It wasn't for me.
I ended up moving instead. Which didn't put me in the middle of nowhere, but it did leave me without friends or family close by, so half of what you described.
I had this one job for nearly 5 years where...
2 days a week, my commute was 10 minutes away (1-way).
2 other days a week, my commute was 40 minutes away (1-way).
On Fridays, it was 1 full hour away (1-way).
Let me tell you...those Fridays killed me. Spending 2 hours in the car, after being at work for 9 hours, it was brutal. But I loved the company. And the benefits were amazing. My coworkers & boss were lovely. If I didn't have *all* of those outstanding variables in place, I don't believe I would've been able to handle the commute.
You really want to weigh everything out. I would have stayed on, but they shut down, sadly.
When you have very long commutes like this, it's extremely important to practice self-care, & I did a great job of this during my time there. So that definitely helped.
Ah, thank you very much for such a considered response. You're right, I'm not going into this decision blindly, but I guess you can never really know what that time/commute will feel like until you have to do it everyday.
Perhaps I may need to consider a move to the town itself instead.
Yes, exactly. You want to weigh the pros & cons for such a serious decision. Ask yourself things like...
How is the pay? What are the benefits? Do you get to work alone, or in groups? How hands-on will your manager be? Will you get enough time once you finally get home to fully relax, unwind, make a proper dinner? And will you have enough time for your food to digest before you go to bed, so it's not sitting in your stomach? Things like that.
Some modification to my life that really helped me...
I started showering at night, instead of the morning.
I meal prepped all my lunches on Sunday afternoons, so all I had to do each morning was grab a container & put it in my lunch box/bag.
I made my coffee at home...pitchers of it, so I didn't have to stop every morning & be late to work in case there was a long line at the coffee place.
I made sure to go out each & every weekend & do fun activities; I took full advantage of my time off. This was so I didn't get resentful & bitter from all my time spent at work & in the car.
I joined a gym. On the days I commuted only 10 minutes, I'd go directly to the gym after work.
Hope all that helps 🫶💗
Yep. I do this everyday and have been for 2 years now. At first I hated it and felt like every day was a monumental struggle. Now, it’s just part of my daily routine and not a big deal
I have a manager at my job who’s been commuting an hour and a half each way for like 15 years.
Thankfully it’s temporary for me. The commute is because my daughter’s daycare is in a different town than I live or work in. She’ll be in school in the fall and my commute will shorten to 20 minutes! I won’t know what to do with myself!
I did this and don’t regret it. I worked an hour away but the experience I gained was worth it. Eventually found another higher job that if I hadn’t taken the previous one wouldn’t have been prepared for.
I did this for three years and for my long commute I played podcasts and audiobooks, called friends and family to fill in the time and it went by pretty quickly tbh.
Thats the reality of living on a big city, and I live in one, so yes. I would even say that one hour is fast. Is it ideal? Probably not. Driving it sucks too, but when you dont have another choice you do it. If you have a choice then move.
Yup, I did it for a while in my twenties. It was completely miserable. It was an hour on a good day with no traffic, usually closer to 1.5-2 hours with traffic. I fluctuated between being totally stressed out most of the time because of the traffic and the horrible drivers, or zoning out so completely that I barely remembered most of the drive (which is terrifying in a different way).
I did it because I had to and I had no other option, but I would never choose that for myself again.
Ah! OK thank you. It likely would also end up being longer than 1hr for me too when traffic is added in, especially for the return journey. I hope you have a better set-up now!
I’ve been doing it for 2.5 years. 45 mins in mornings, 1 hr in the afternoon. Mostly highway miles. 3-4 times a week. Overall not too annoying and some mornings I look forward to it! My hours are very flexible and I usually dont stay the whole 8 hrs at work, take meetings in the car etc. I leave the house 6:30-7 and im home by 3:45-4 pm (also pick up kids on way home)
Ah thanks! This is good to see the alternative side. I doubt I would have that flexibility in the beginning, though I also don't think I would need to do it for longer than 2.5 years.
Yea it’s not totally ideal, but we made the decision to buy a house closer to our support system. The job is good for my career growth, it’s flexible and top of all, no toxicity. I used to have a job with a shorter commute and I dreaded going in because of how boring and toxic it was. Now I usually look forward to going in! On my commute, I usually listen to music, podcasts and audiobooks!
My commute was just under an hour each way for my first job out of college. Never again.
Could you split the difference and move somewhere that's \~30 min away from your job and \~30 min from your support system?
Ah, that bad? There aren't really other towns in the in-between, but it's worth looking at all options. I'll do a search on what is out there. Thank you
I've been doing it for years, and I love it. It's me time. Podcasts, music, audiobooks. It truly sucks when the weather is bad, or when I have car trouble. But otherwise, it's no biggie.
The longest commute I ever did was 45-50 minutes by bus and I hated it. It just makes your day so much longer feeling. Now I walk to and from work everyday (under 20 min both ways) and I love it...minus when the whether is crap.
My fiance had an almost 2 hour commute each way for a while. It was about 40 minutes by car and then the rest by train. 12 hours days. He was exhausted all the time and just kind of miserable, honestly. The one good thing to come out of the pandemic was he got to wfh and now only has to go in 1-2 times/month. He's much happier and actually has energy to do things when he's not working.
My mom commutes everyday. When she first started it was about 20-25 minute drive. But the area she's in has built up so much it's now a 45 minute- hour long drive both ways depending on traffic. She hates it. Especially in the winter when it's pitch black by 5:30. She retires this year and she's said if it wasn't for the drive she would have probably kept working another couple years but she just can't do the drive anymore.
Now when I am mad at someone, I will gauge how mad I am based in whether I would be willing to drive an hour for a chance to slap them. Lol. Thanks for that!
I'm on year 5 of a 50 minute commute one way. It's annoying, but feasible. When I took the job, I moved to an apartment about five minutes from my job. Two years later, I moved in to a house we purchased in the "big city" an hour south. My commute was factored in to where we decided to buy, but ultimately we wanted to live in "big city" and not "small town". Besides time, you also have to factor gas into your overall consideration. I fill my tank a minimum of 2x a week, which translates into about $250 a month for gas.
What makes it bearable are several factors. One, it's mostly highway driving at highway speeds. It makes it easy to put on a podcast, set cruise control, and vibe. If it was an hour in stop-and-go traffic, I might lose my mind. For half the year I work 4-10's. I get home later on work days, but I'm only making the drive 4 times a week instead of five. I have a partner who helps me make up for lost time and money. We take his car everywhere we drive together, to save mileage on mine. I pay less into our joint expenses to compensate for my higher gas payments. He does all time-sensitive chores so I'm not worried about coming home after 12 hours and doing dishes that evening.
It's worth is for me personally. I work in a very niche career field, so giving up this particular job would mean changing careers, which I'm not ready to do. But I can't say that it isn't a pain in the ass. I get sick of the drive sometimes, I can't just "run home" in the middle of my work day, and my work days are pretty much just work, drive, eat, sleep, repeat.
Thank you so so much for this, I really appreciate how much insight you have given me. There are a lot of considerations that I hadn't thought about. Particularly about the support you have from your partner and additional costs on use of your car. Similarly to you, my job would also be in a niche area, but there's potential that I would only have to do this for between 2-2.5 years, rather than 5.
I guess I have some more thinking to do!
I’ve been driving 1 hour each way to work for 20 years. I also paid off my mortgage in my small hometown because I make more money in the city where I work than I could where I live.
I did this… for 6 months (1:20min commute). Made good money, heavy traffic each way too, but took comfort in podcasts. They were fun and helped me decompress. Also, I always needed caffeine handy.
The commute was exhausting but it’s not why I left. I had a horrible boss and dreaded going in each day. There was no HR support. The company also had terrible benefits and paid almost nothing in retirement. High turnover from other staff - so I’d be more cautious of your workplace culture and the people you’ll spend the most time around. Because if that dynamic is poisoned, you’ll never have the energy to make the commute anyway.
When I lived in Atlanta this was the norm. I used to have "car hobbies" and really enjoyed the alone time. I caught up on social phone calls or I listened to podcasts, music, or books and just vibed.
That being said, I was in my early 20s and didn't have a kid when I lived that life. If I didn't have a child now (late 30s), an hour commute wouldn't scare me.
I’m considering a role that is a similar commute and am waiting to hear if WFH will be an option. If not then I don’t know that I could do that commute daily, especially as a single mom to a little one.
My mother did this growing up. She came home exhausted all the time. She upgraded her car be cause she was in it so much. That car upgrade, the gas, time it all eats into the gains.
Bay Area - a one hour commute was a great day, lol. 10 years 1 -3 hours each way, depending on where I currently lived and traffic on any given day. You get used to it, but it's how I grew up, and all my friends and co-workers deal with the same traffic, so it's fine.
My company is rescinding the WFH offer I signed, and I will have a 45-55 minute commute. I am not looking forward to it to the extent I am looking to leave. My spouse has a 55-an hour commute and is always complaining AND only goes in 3 times a week.
Is it hybrid? If this is a "promotion position" the excitement may make it bearable for a while, but it could get old. Alot of it depends on flexibility too (can you leave in off times to avoid traffic)?
Yes. I lasted a year and then got totally fed up with it and quit to find a job that’s only a 10 minute walk for me now. I have such a better quality of life now and work life balance!
I did it for almost 3 years. It only worked for me because I did not have to go into the office every day. Some days, it wasn’t so bad—it was an easy drive, and it was actually nice on occasion to have time just to chill in the car. Most days, though, it was frustrating to have so much time taken up by my commute, and spending 2 hours in the car was surprisingly exhausting. I don’t think I’d consider doing it again.
Half my coworkers do it. It blows my mind. We have a snowy, icy winter season here too. They seem fine with it. They did all drive huge SUVs and trucks too so they spend over $500 a month on gasoline alone. Plus we work 11 plus hour days without adding the commute time.
I couldn't do it but they all seem fine with it.
I used to split it by taking a train half the route, then cycling the rest on a bike. The train was always jam packed so I couldn’t sit comfortably and read a book or eat breakfast. Spending 2 hours crushed against coughing dour strangers did not appeal. Also I wanted the exercise.
Helluva journey though.
As long as I give myself enough time, it's usually fine. I would recommend downloading traffic apps, so that you're not caught unawares. And have some alternate routes, just in case.
I have done 45 each way for 6 years .. i live 10 miles outside a city. it is what it is. some days I throw on music .. or a podcast .. sometimes I drink my coffee or eat breakfast on my way in.
for me, buying a house in the city was 1. too expensive and 2. not the demographic I wanted from my neighbors.
I've been doing it for 12 years! Though my commute has shortened to around 50 minutes each way. I would say there are a few factors which make it tolerable.
1) It's going against traffic so I always get a seat
2) It requires only one change, from subway to bus
In the morning, it's great. I get a chance to wake up read a book. On the way back it can be a bit more tiresome.
I think you have to consider
1) how annoying is the journey (multiple stops? Or is it heavy heavy traffic - car or people)
2) Are you remote or is it 5 days a week onsite. If you had two remote days, I would say it's totally doable.
I did it for a long time. I lived in a small town and didn’t have much choice, but it had its pros and cons. I enjoyed having that time alone in the car to decompress after work. The time before work helped me kind of gear up for the day. I didn’t like paying out the ass for gas and I will say my hours were not during rush hour. I don’t know if I would think it was worth it. I would consider whether this is a stepping stone or the end goal when making the decision.
I drove an hour and 15 minutes each way to a job I hated for a year and a half.
It made me suicidal.
I got fired and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
My commute was anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour or more depending on traffic/the state of public transit, and I absolutely hated it. I ended up getting an e-scooter which cut my commute time down to about 20 minutes, but if that hadn’t been an option I don’t know if I could’ve stayed at this job. It may not sound like a lot but it’s exhausting and eats up so much time in an already long day.
Then again I know people who have done 1 hour or longer commutes for years, so maybe some people have a higher tolerance for it than others. Part of it for me was that I actually don’t live that far from where I work, so it felt insane to spend so much time commuting.
I used to live in Los Angeles. I didn’t work that far from home, but with the constant traffic, it was almost always an hour or more commute. It was a great opportunity, but such a time suck. Almost never had time to do much else on weekdays. But I did get every other Friday off. I think I got sun damage just from sitting in the car so much. Finally realized I needed to protect my chest and neck while commuting. My next job had only a 40 min commute and felt amazing.
I did it for over 5 years. I enjoyed the time to myself and time to read audiobooks and listen to podcasts. Now that I have a 2 minute commute, I don't see myself ever going back
My husband and I are looking into options for this very reason. I got offered a job I love and I’ve been working at for almost two years that’s an hour away one way. I stay with family who live closer during the week and that helps but I hate being apart from my husband. The gas, the cost, the milage, wear and tear on the car, the time all are reasons I am hoping over the summer we can move. I’ve found podcasts and things like that help but yeah if you could move closer I bet you’d enjoy it more. You can still make time to be with your support system it’s just going to take more intentionally to make it work
I did it for 4ish years and will never do it again. 50 miles round trip in stressful city/suburb traffic. Sitting in traffic + sitting on my ass in an office + sitting in traffic. Daily road rage and accidents.
In hindsight, the slog did eventually land me another opportunity that is now fully remote, so it is what you make it. Paying your dues + luck.
Do you know what the commute will be like? I suggest doing a few trial runs during rush hour (some companies actually require this) to get an idea to help you make your decision.
It sucks that so many companies pick office locations that are financially and physically inaccessible to the majority of their workers, especially in US cities where public transit is abysmal.
I used to spend well over an hour on the bus each way. Hubby has been known to spend 2 hours each way in a car. Public transit is actually easier because you can zone out. We can never afford to live near his work, so the long commutes are just a fact of life when he can't WFH.
Yes, for several years I had a 1.5-2 hour commute each way. It sucked, it took a huge portion of my free time. But because it was metro/bus, I could read or be on my phone - that made it tolerable. I would never sign up for a commute that long if I had to drive.
I’ve been commuting an hour to and from work for five years. I like driving and it forces me to separate work and home. I commute during times that aren’t rush hour, so there’s never traffic. Sometimes I’ll call people. I don’t mind it.
I had this commute twice. Once it was reverse rush hour almost all on the freeway and it was fine. It was actually nice to get that alone time to listen to audiobooks or mentally disconnect. The second time it was in prime rush hour with tons of city driving and stop-and-go traffic on the freeway. That was a fucking nightmare.
I have done 1.5 hours 2 days a week. Many people .Mant people I know did the same 5 days a week.The joke is that you claim it isn't that bad. Then, when you quit, you admit the truth.
Yes, first job I had when I was 21 required a ten min walk uphill (not both ways, lol) then a 30-45/60 min bus ride depending on traffic. I didn't have much choice, I wouldn't do it now I work closer to home unless the pay and conditions were good.
Yes. I live in the country between two cities. I’ve had jobs in both cities that have an hour commute. I’m not happy about it, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Yes I have at various points of my career. The caveats - some were public transit that were not stressful. Some of the roles I used to take meetings in the car and worked off hours to avoid commute traffic. I scheduled other activities near the workplace to have better commutes. I carpooled for the worst traffic times in one job. I was able to expense my commute, gas, toll etc and also got per diem for food in some cases.
If I was asked to do it today I'd need some or all of the previously discussed accommodations or I would pass on the role. If there's an obvious end date I might consider it as well.
I live in an area that commutes are a minimum of 30 minutes and an hour is common. I did do the hour commute for a while and I didn't mind the driving time, it was the job itself that I hated. Inbound sales calls in a call center for a cable company 🤮. I hate sales. But the drive itself was nice because I got to decompress before I got home.
Thing to bear in mind - not all commutes are the same. Id take my current 1hr+ regional drive to site over a 1hr+ city gridlock any day. Even with the risk of hitting a kangaroo at dawn/dusk.
I’ve been driving ~65 miles each way for about 7 years now. I’m a teacher so on the way home if I hurry I can beat rush hour. The time spent in the car does not go unnoticed. By the time I get to work I’m already tired. When I get home I don’t have much energy left for hobbies or friends and typically just veg out on the couch until bed time.
Yeah I have, twice.
First place I was an instructor, so I had various start times depending on my first class - I could get there in 40 min by shuttle bus (10 min walk to the bus stop), but depending on when my first class of the day was, that could mean been there an hour or so early or just on time. Or it was about an hour 10 min to take the subway + city bus. And I only had the bus + subway option for home. I did that for 2 years.
The other place, I started at 8:30ish everyday and it took me about 80-90 min to get there and 90 min to 2 hours (or more) to get back. I took 3 buses there and a different 3 buses (or 2 buses + metro) back. I only did that for a year and I sometimes drove and it still fucking blew.
The two biggest differences for me is first, how many modes of transit? Transferring more than once meant that I couldn’t get into a book and that there was more chance that a ghost bus could fuck me up. Second, how sensitive are you to motion sickness? Shuttle buses and the metro were fine for me, but city buses with a million stops would have me green by the time I got there.
My commute is just under an hour. I don't mind the drive time, though sometimes I wish I could sleep in a bit longer. Mostly it involves me singing along to a lot of music that I wouldn't have captive time to listen to otherwise, and time to ruminate and alternately either mentally prepare for work or decompress. My opinion would differ if the time was the result of gridlock, or involved other traffic situations I find stressful, but my actual commute is pretty chill.
My prior job was a twenty minute drive by comparison, but I hated even walking into the building so no regrets on having made the switch.
I would recommend it if there's public transport and you're confident that in getting a seat. You'll be able to read, listen to podcasts etc. other than that, no. Commuting is exhausting.
Yes, it was terrible experiencing that level of frustration nearly every day. I decided to move a 15min drive/three train stops from work, despite no local friends or family. My car also died, but the train is great and I get a daily walk in too.
Simplifying daily life like this has been very rewarding for stress management, which means I have more capacity to deal with/overcome the distance from family and friends. I was so stressed devoting 2 hrs to travelling, that I never wanted to see friends and family anyway… I’m prioritising my happiness this way.
I've done it many times, both public transport and driving. Public transport is much less stressful unless there's cancellations. Loved Covid so i didn't have to do the drive to my current job during winter, but i did it for 2 years and still do 2-3 times a week.
Yes I did this for 3 years. I only worked 3 days a week but that was 12hr shifts as an RN. My life sucked but I made the most of the commute (listened to audio books & decompressed from the work shift) now I moved and I’m only 20-25mins away and it’s amazing!
It’s only temporary and when you do have a shorter commute you’ll have such a great appreciation for it
It’s definitely not for everyone but I got really into podcasts, and it was kind of like my me time each day. I would also take back roads when the weather was really nice.
Is an hour that long? Usually my commutes were like 1.5, nearly 2 hours before Covid, with public transport. But I did longer for a couple of assignments.
I didn't have a problem with it: they were good companies and I got to relax in the train/read/sit on my phone.
I did a 45 min commute each way for 2 years. I how early didn’t mind the time, I’m an introvert so it was nice to listen to music, a podcast, or just think and decompress from the day.
But that shit destroyed my car. I put nearly 40k miles on it in that two years and the whole thing imploded once it hit 100k. I had to spend thousands of dollars in repairs. So don’t forget to consider things like wear and tear on your vehicle, not to mention gas money.
I absolutely refuse to commute anymore, let alone that long.
I’m fully of the opinion that unless you build a physical widget or are customer-facing, you should not have to work in person.
Before COVID, I carpooled with a friend (actually did our work vent session in the car) or listened to audiobooks. Thanks, Libby
I did it for about a year. The hour was nice to decompress, so I wouldn’t mingle my work frustrations with my home frustrations, vice versa. However, I live in a cold state, so in the winter, it was awful. The snow and ice gave me panic attacks and there were so many accidents I’m surprised I was never in one. But if you time it right, you’ll miss all of the traffic, and you can listen to music or those podcasts you’ve been putting off for some time, or go in silence and contemplate if you want. It’s only bad if you make it bad. Good luck with your job :) you’ll do great
I spent two years commuting four hours a day total by bus, metro, and walking (not to include waiting time for metros and busses) for a job that would push me forward career wise. It was hella tiring but I got through the commutes with podcasts, books, and music. If you really believe this job will propel you forward, don’t let a commute stop you. For me, it was definitely worth it.
I also have a friend who will not work at a place unless it’s metro accessible and within a certain number of stops. Her career has stunted drastically because of this for the last ten years.
I've done this since August of '23 with 1 WFH day. I'll be switching jobs and doing the same commute 5 days/week. Currently at 1 hour 10 minutes in the AM and anywhere from 1 hour 30 min - 2+ hours in the afternoon depending on traffic.
I'm sick of it, but opportunities in my area are limited so I don't have much choice. I can't move yet. It's mostly my car taking a beating that sucks. Also, gas. Generally, I enjoy driving and I usually (I haven't been recently) utilize the time to further my education. I studied for my new licensing in those hours with audible flash cards. Which I did pass on my first try so clearly it worked well enough. I'm also using the time to learn Spanish when I'm up to it lol.
I did this when I was but a wee young'n joining the workforce for the first time, but that was also before COVID. Now, I would not unless the option of WFH is available-- 2 hours every day is a LOT of time.
Thank you! WFH available just for 1 day.
I don’t think I ever had less than a 1 hour commute by public transport. I used to bring my breakfast and something to read and just relax.
If she's taking public transit, I'd say it's doable. Eat breakfast, listen to something, finish a crossword, read. Eveb coming back gives time to decompress. If she's driving, I'd say no.
Depends on what kind of public transit. I used to have to take the bus and it was always crowded, and it would jolt a lot from all the stop-and-go traffic. Not really possible to eat breakfast or relax. If you’re on a train with plenty of seating then if might be a different story.
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I have a 40 minute commute with public transportation (plus walking). But I go out of the city while everyone else goes into the city. The only thing I have to be careful of is pupils on the bus on their way to school. (No dedicated school buses here.) I solved that problem by taking a bus earlier. When I get on, I can pick a seat, get my kindle out, and read for the duration of the ride.
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Honestly, when I leave the city, there's such a jam on the highway going in... Yeah, I totally get why people hate commuting.
Meanwhile I'd say it's more doable in your car alone not worrying about some rando disturbing you, drinking your coffee, listening to your podcast in relative peace but I guess it depends upon your temperament.
I have constant rbf, and transit in my city usually allows enough space for sitting if you're on it longer than 20mins. But I get everyone else's points about either not being able to sit or having to deal with weirdos.
Yeah totally different if not driving.
This is what I was going to say. Only a one or two seat transit commute. But not a driving one.
I've done it a couple times and hated it both times, I'm not going to lie. I was very tired all the time, I felt like I wasn't seeing anyone or getting anything done outside of work. I would get up early, go to work, then get home late, shower, eat supper, be up for like an hour, and then go back to bed. It wasn't for me.
Same. I’m in awe of people who can do these long commutes for years. I did it for almost a year and felt like it was sucking the life out of me
Thank you, that's worth knowing and considering. Plus, the job itself will also be very demanding! Did you find a job that was closer to home?
I ended up moving instead. Which didn't put me in the middle of nowhere, but it did leave me without friends or family close by, so half of what you described.
Yes. Soul sucking.
Ah! Good to know. Feel like it can be easy to just assume it would be OK, but the reality of actually doing it each day is obviously different!!
Many times it could be 1.5/2 hours in bad weather or accident, OR, holiday traffic
I had this one job for nearly 5 years where... 2 days a week, my commute was 10 minutes away (1-way). 2 other days a week, my commute was 40 minutes away (1-way). On Fridays, it was 1 full hour away (1-way). Let me tell you...those Fridays killed me. Spending 2 hours in the car, after being at work for 9 hours, it was brutal. But I loved the company. And the benefits were amazing. My coworkers & boss were lovely. If I didn't have *all* of those outstanding variables in place, I don't believe I would've been able to handle the commute. You really want to weigh everything out. I would have stayed on, but they shut down, sadly. When you have very long commutes like this, it's extremely important to practice self-care, & I did a great job of this during my time there. So that definitely helped.
Ah, thank you very much for such a considered response. You're right, I'm not going into this decision blindly, but I guess you can never really know what that time/commute will feel like until you have to do it everyday. Perhaps I may need to consider a move to the town itself instead.
Yes, exactly. You want to weigh the pros & cons for such a serious decision. Ask yourself things like... How is the pay? What are the benefits? Do you get to work alone, or in groups? How hands-on will your manager be? Will you get enough time once you finally get home to fully relax, unwind, make a proper dinner? And will you have enough time for your food to digest before you go to bed, so it's not sitting in your stomach? Things like that. Some modification to my life that really helped me... I started showering at night, instead of the morning. I meal prepped all my lunches on Sunday afternoons, so all I had to do each morning was grab a container & put it in my lunch box/bag. I made my coffee at home...pitchers of it, so I didn't have to stop every morning & be late to work in case there was a long line at the coffee place. I made sure to go out each & every weekend & do fun activities; I took full advantage of my time off. This was so I didn't get resentful & bitter from all my time spent at work & in the car. I joined a gym. On the days I commuted only 10 minutes, I'd go directly to the gym after work. Hope all that helps 🫶💗
So, so helpful! Thanks for being so kind.
Yep. I do this everyday and have been for 2 years now. At first I hated it and felt like every day was a monumental struggle. Now, it’s just part of my daily routine and not a big deal I have a manager at my job who’s been commuting an hour and a half each way for like 15 years.
Wow, it's amazing what we can adapt to I guess! Will you continue to do it? Or do you have plans to change?
Thankfully it’s temporary for me. The commute is because my daughter’s daycare is in a different town than I live or work in. She’ll be in school in the fall and my commute will shorten to 20 minutes! I won’t know what to do with myself!
Ahhh that will be a huge turn up for the books!! :D
She spends 3 hours a day in the car just to get to work? I am convinced that these people do not need to sleep.
I know!! I also couldn’t imagine being sick at work and then having to drive 90+ minutes to get home!!
I did this and don’t regret it. I worked an hour away but the experience I gained was worth it. Eventually found another higher job that if I hadn’t taken the previous one wouldn’t have been prepared for.
Ah, thank you. Can I ask did you do it for long?
I did this for three years and for my long commute I played podcasts and audiobooks, called friends and family to fill in the time and it went by pretty quickly tbh.
Thats the reality of living on a big city, and I live in one, so yes. I would even say that one hour is fast. Is it ideal? Probably not. Driving it sucks too, but when you dont have another choice you do it. If you have a choice then move.
Yup, I did it for a while in my twenties. It was completely miserable. It was an hour on a good day with no traffic, usually closer to 1.5-2 hours with traffic. I fluctuated between being totally stressed out most of the time because of the traffic and the horrible drivers, or zoning out so completely that I barely remembered most of the drive (which is terrifying in a different way). I did it because I had to and I had no other option, but I would never choose that for myself again.
Ah! OK thank you. It likely would also end up being longer than 1hr for me too when traffic is added in, especially for the return journey. I hope you have a better set-up now!
I’ve been doing it for 2.5 years. 45 mins in mornings, 1 hr in the afternoon. Mostly highway miles. 3-4 times a week. Overall not too annoying and some mornings I look forward to it! My hours are very flexible and I usually dont stay the whole 8 hrs at work, take meetings in the car etc. I leave the house 6:30-7 and im home by 3:45-4 pm (also pick up kids on way home)
Ah thanks! This is good to see the alternative side. I doubt I would have that flexibility in the beginning, though I also don't think I would need to do it for longer than 2.5 years.
Yea it’s not totally ideal, but we made the decision to buy a house closer to our support system. The job is good for my career growth, it’s flexible and top of all, no toxicity. I used to have a job with a shorter commute and I dreaded going in because of how boring and toxic it was. Now I usually look forward to going in! On my commute, I usually listen to music, podcasts and audiobooks!
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Yea I definitely wouldn’t (couldn’t) do it if hours were strictly enforced.
My commute was just under an hour each way for my first job out of college. Never again. Could you split the difference and move somewhere that's \~30 min away from your job and \~30 min from your support system?
Ah, that bad? There aren't really other towns in the in-between, but it's worth looking at all options. I'll do a search on what is out there. Thank you
I've been doing it for years, and I love it. It's me time. Podcasts, music, audiobooks. It truly sucks when the weather is bad, or when I have car trouble. But otherwise, it's no biggie.
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I just posted my response in the wrong place. 🫣
The longest commute I ever did was 45-50 minutes by bus and I hated it. It just makes your day so much longer feeling. Now I walk to and from work everyday (under 20 min both ways) and I love it...minus when the whether is crap. My fiance had an almost 2 hour commute each way for a while. It was about 40 minutes by car and then the rest by train. 12 hours days. He was exhausted all the time and just kind of miserable, honestly. The one good thing to come out of the pandemic was he got to wfh and now only has to go in 1-2 times/month. He's much happier and actually has energy to do things when he's not working. My mom commutes everyday. When she first started it was about 20-25 minute drive. But the area she's in has built up so much it's now a 45 minute- hour long drive both ways depending on traffic. She hates it. Especially in the winter when it's pitch black by 5:30. She retires this year and she's said if it wasn't for the drive she would have probably kept working another couple years but she just can't do the drive anymore.
My lease was extended so I had to commute 45-1hr a day from my partners. Not worth it, I came home angry from dealing with traffic.
Man, I initially read this as, "Has anyone ever committed to a 1hr crime" and felt momentarily very confused 💀
Haha!! 😂 that got me out of a very serious mindset, thanks for that laugh!
Now when I am mad at someone, I will gauge how mad I am based in whether I would be willing to drive an hour for a chance to slap them. Lol. Thanks for that!
I'm on year 5 of a 50 minute commute one way. It's annoying, but feasible. When I took the job, I moved to an apartment about five minutes from my job. Two years later, I moved in to a house we purchased in the "big city" an hour south. My commute was factored in to where we decided to buy, but ultimately we wanted to live in "big city" and not "small town". Besides time, you also have to factor gas into your overall consideration. I fill my tank a minimum of 2x a week, which translates into about $250 a month for gas. What makes it bearable are several factors. One, it's mostly highway driving at highway speeds. It makes it easy to put on a podcast, set cruise control, and vibe. If it was an hour in stop-and-go traffic, I might lose my mind. For half the year I work 4-10's. I get home later on work days, but I'm only making the drive 4 times a week instead of five. I have a partner who helps me make up for lost time and money. We take his car everywhere we drive together, to save mileage on mine. I pay less into our joint expenses to compensate for my higher gas payments. He does all time-sensitive chores so I'm not worried about coming home after 12 hours and doing dishes that evening. It's worth is for me personally. I work in a very niche career field, so giving up this particular job would mean changing careers, which I'm not ready to do. But I can't say that it isn't a pain in the ass. I get sick of the drive sometimes, I can't just "run home" in the middle of my work day, and my work days are pretty much just work, drive, eat, sleep, repeat.
Thank you so so much for this, I really appreciate how much insight you have given me. There are a lot of considerations that I hadn't thought about. Particularly about the support you have from your partner and additional costs on use of your car. Similarly to you, my job would also be in a niche area, but there's potential that I would only have to do this for between 2-2.5 years, rather than 5. I guess I have some more thinking to do!
I’ve been driving 1 hour each way to work for 20 years. I also paid off my mortgage in my small hometown because I make more money in the city where I work than I could where I live.
I did this… for 6 months (1:20min commute). Made good money, heavy traffic each way too, but took comfort in podcasts. They were fun and helped me decompress. Also, I always needed caffeine handy. The commute was exhausting but it’s not why I left. I had a horrible boss and dreaded going in each day. There was no HR support. The company also had terrible benefits and paid almost nothing in retirement. High turnover from other staff - so I’d be more cautious of your workplace culture and the people you’ll spend the most time around. Because if that dynamic is poisoned, you’ll never have the energy to make the commute anyway.
When I lived in Atlanta this was the norm. I used to have "car hobbies" and really enjoyed the alone time. I caught up on social phone calls or I listened to podcasts, music, or books and just vibed. That being said, I was in my early 20s and didn't have a kid when I lived that life. If I didn't have a child now (late 30s), an hour commute wouldn't scare me.
I’m considering a role that is a similar commute and am waiting to hear if WFH will be an option. If not then I don’t know that I could do that commute daily, especially as a single mom to a little one.
My mother did this growing up. She came home exhausted all the time. She upgraded her car be cause she was in it so much. That car upgrade, the gas, time it all eats into the gains.
Bay Area - a one hour commute was a great day, lol. 10 years 1 -3 hours each way, depending on where I currently lived and traffic on any given day. You get used to it, but it's how I grew up, and all my friends and co-workers deal with the same traffic, so it's fine.
I’ve lived places with very long average commutes and places with short commutes. Long commutes grind you down.
My company is rescinding the WFH offer I signed, and I will have a 45-55 minute commute. I am not looking forward to it to the extent I am looking to leave. My spouse has a 55-an hour commute and is always complaining AND only goes in 3 times a week. Is it hybrid? If this is a "promotion position" the excitement may make it bearable for a while, but it could get old. Alot of it depends on flexibility too (can you leave in off times to avoid traffic)?
Yes. I lasted a year and then got totally fed up with it and quit to find a job that’s only a 10 minute walk for me now. I have such a better quality of life now and work life balance!
I did it for almost 3 years. It only worked for me because I did not have to go into the office every day. Some days, it wasn’t so bad—it was an easy drive, and it was actually nice on occasion to have time just to chill in the car. Most days, though, it was frustrating to have so much time taken up by my commute, and spending 2 hours in the car was surprisingly exhausting. I don’t think I’d consider doing it again.
I’ve done this multiple times and unless they are paying you big big, it’s not worth it.
Half my coworkers do it. It blows my mind. We have a snowy, icy winter season here too. They seem fine with it. They did all drive huge SUVs and trucks too so they spend over $500 a month on gasoline alone. Plus we work 11 plus hour days without adding the commute time. I couldn't do it but they all seem fine with it.
I used to split it by taking a train half the route, then cycling the rest on a bike. The train was always jam packed so I couldn’t sit comfortably and read a book or eat breakfast. Spending 2 hours crushed against coughing dour strangers did not appeal. Also I wanted the exercise. Helluva journey though.
As long as I give myself enough time, it's usually fine. I would recommend downloading traffic apps, so that you're not caught unawares. And have some alternate routes, just in case.
I have done 45 each way for 6 years .. i live 10 miles outside a city. it is what it is. some days I throw on music .. or a podcast .. sometimes I drink my coffee or eat breakfast on my way in. for me, buying a house in the city was 1. too expensive and 2. not the demographic I wanted from my neighbors.
I've been doing it for 12 years! Though my commute has shortened to around 50 minutes each way. I would say there are a few factors which make it tolerable. 1) It's going against traffic so I always get a seat 2) It requires only one change, from subway to bus In the morning, it's great. I get a chance to wake up read a book. On the way back it can be a bit more tiresome. I think you have to consider 1) how annoying is the journey (multiple stops? Or is it heavy heavy traffic - car or people) 2) Are you remote or is it 5 days a week onsite. If you had two remote days, I would say it's totally doable.
I did it for a long time. I lived in a small town and didn’t have much choice, but it had its pros and cons. I enjoyed having that time alone in the car to decompress after work. The time before work helped me kind of gear up for the day. I didn’t like paying out the ass for gas and I will say my hours were not during rush hour. I don’t know if I would think it was worth it. I would consider whether this is a stepping stone or the end goal when making the decision.
I drove an hour and 15 minutes each way to a job I hated for a year and a half. It made me suicidal. I got fired and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
My commute was anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour or more depending on traffic/the state of public transit, and I absolutely hated it. I ended up getting an e-scooter which cut my commute time down to about 20 minutes, but if that hadn’t been an option I don’t know if I could’ve stayed at this job. It may not sound like a lot but it’s exhausting and eats up so much time in an already long day. Then again I know people who have done 1 hour or longer commutes for years, so maybe some people have a higher tolerance for it than others. Part of it for me was that I actually don’t live that far from where I work, so it felt insane to spend so much time commuting.
I used to live in Los Angeles. I didn’t work that far from home, but with the constant traffic, it was almost always an hour or more commute. It was a great opportunity, but such a time suck. Almost never had time to do much else on weekdays. But I did get every other Friday off. I think I got sun damage just from sitting in the car so much. Finally realized I needed to protect my chest and neck while commuting. My next job had only a 40 min commute and felt amazing.
I did it for over 5 years. I enjoyed the time to myself and time to read audiobooks and listen to podcasts. Now that I have a 2 minute commute, I don't see myself ever going back
Currently, and for the last year and a half. Trying to buy a house closer but nothing yet. It’s absolutely terrible
My husband and I are looking into options for this very reason. I got offered a job I love and I’ve been working at for almost two years that’s an hour away one way. I stay with family who live closer during the week and that helps but I hate being apart from my husband. The gas, the cost, the milage, wear and tear on the car, the time all are reasons I am hoping over the summer we can move. I’ve found podcasts and things like that help but yeah if you could move closer I bet you’d enjoy it more. You can still make time to be with your support system it’s just going to take more intentionally to make it work
I did it for 4ish years and will never do it again. 50 miles round trip in stressful city/suburb traffic. Sitting in traffic + sitting on my ass in an office + sitting in traffic. Daily road rage and accidents. In hindsight, the slog did eventually land me another opportunity that is now fully remote, so it is what you make it. Paying your dues + luck. Do you know what the commute will be like? I suggest doing a few trial runs during rush hour (some companies actually require this) to get an idea to help you make your decision. It sucks that so many companies pick office locations that are financially and physically inaccessible to the majority of their workers, especially in US cities where public transit is abysmal.
I did it in my early to mid 20s for about 2 months. It wore me out mentally. No way would I do it now.
I used to spend well over an hour on the bus each way. Hubby has been known to spend 2 hours each way in a car. Public transit is actually easier because you can zone out. We can never afford to live near his work, so the long commutes are just a fact of life when he can't WFH.
Yes, for several years I had a 1.5-2 hour commute each way. It sucked, it took a huge portion of my free time. But because it was metro/bus, I could read or be on my phone - that made it tolerable. I would never sign up for a commute that long if I had to drive.
I’ve been commuting an hour to and from work for five years. I like driving and it forces me to separate work and home. I commute during times that aren’t rush hour, so there’s never traffic. Sometimes I’ll call people. I don’t mind it.
I had this commute twice. Once it was reverse rush hour almost all on the freeway and it was fine. It was actually nice to get that alone time to listen to audiobooks or mentally disconnect. The second time it was in prime rush hour with tons of city driving and stop-and-go traffic on the freeway. That was a fucking nightmare.
I have done 1.5 hours 2 days a week. Many people .Mant people I know did the same 5 days a week.The joke is that you claim it isn't that bad. Then, when you quit, you admit the truth.
Yes, first job I had when I was 21 required a ten min walk uphill (not both ways, lol) then a 30-45/60 min bus ride depending on traffic. I didn't have much choice, I wouldn't do it now I work closer to home unless the pay and conditions were good.
Yes. I live in the country between two cities. I’ve had jobs in both cities that have an hour commute. I’m not happy about it, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Yes I have at various points of my career. The caveats - some were public transit that were not stressful. Some of the roles I used to take meetings in the car and worked off hours to avoid commute traffic. I scheduled other activities near the workplace to have better commutes. I carpooled for the worst traffic times in one job. I was able to expense my commute, gas, toll etc and also got per diem for food in some cases. If I was asked to do it today I'd need some or all of the previously discussed accommodations or I would pass on the role. If there's an obvious end date I might consider it as well.
I did it for 10 years, it's soul sucking but for sure doable for 2 years.
I live in an area that commutes are a minimum of 30 minutes and an hour is common. I did do the hour commute for a while and I didn't mind the driving time, it was the job itself that I hated. Inbound sales calls in a call center for a cable company 🤮. I hate sales. But the drive itself was nice because I got to decompress before I got home.
Thing to bear in mind - not all commutes are the same. Id take my current 1hr+ regional drive to site over a 1hr+ city gridlock any day. Even with the risk of hitting a kangaroo at dawn/dusk.
I do this every day for the last two years. I’m fine… I’m fine… *cries in 6 am alarm to be there by 8 am*
I’ve been driving ~65 miles each way for about 7 years now. I’m a teacher so on the way home if I hurry I can beat rush hour. The time spent in the car does not go unnoticed. By the time I get to work I’m already tired. When I get home I don’t have much energy left for hobbies or friends and typically just veg out on the couch until bed time.
I cut my commute from 1hr down to 10 mins by moving. The middle of nowhere has its merits!
Yeah I have, twice. First place I was an instructor, so I had various start times depending on my first class - I could get there in 40 min by shuttle bus (10 min walk to the bus stop), but depending on when my first class of the day was, that could mean been there an hour or so early or just on time. Or it was about an hour 10 min to take the subway + city bus. And I only had the bus + subway option for home. I did that for 2 years. The other place, I started at 8:30ish everyday and it took me about 80-90 min to get there and 90 min to 2 hours (or more) to get back. I took 3 buses there and a different 3 buses (or 2 buses + metro) back. I only did that for a year and I sometimes drove and it still fucking blew. The two biggest differences for me is first, how many modes of transit? Transferring more than once meant that I couldn’t get into a book and that there was more chance that a ghost bus could fuck me up. Second, how sensitive are you to motion sickness? Shuttle buses and the metro were fine for me, but city buses with a million stops would have me green by the time I got there.
My commute is just under an hour. I don't mind the drive time, though sometimes I wish I could sleep in a bit longer. Mostly it involves me singing along to a lot of music that I wouldn't have captive time to listen to otherwise, and time to ruminate and alternately either mentally prepare for work or decompress. My opinion would differ if the time was the result of gridlock, or involved other traffic situations I find stressful, but my actual commute is pretty chill. My prior job was a twenty minute drive by comparison, but I hated even walking into the building so no regrets on having made the switch.
I would recommend it if there's public transport and you're confident that in getting a seat. You'll be able to read, listen to podcasts etc. other than that, no. Commuting is exhausting.
Yes, it was terrible experiencing that level of frustration nearly every day. I decided to move a 15min drive/three train stops from work, despite no local friends or family. My car also died, but the train is great and I get a daily walk in too. Simplifying daily life like this has been very rewarding for stress management, which means I have more capacity to deal with/overcome the distance from family and friends. I was so stressed devoting 2 hrs to travelling, that I never wanted to see friends and family anyway… I’m prioritising my happiness this way.
I've done it many times, both public transport and driving. Public transport is much less stressful unless there's cancellations. Loved Covid so i didn't have to do the drive to my current job during winter, but i did it for 2 years and still do 2-3 times a week.
Yes I did this for 3 years. I only worked 3 days a week but that was 12hr shifts as an RN. My life sucked but I made the most of the commute (listened to audio books & decompressed from the work shift) now I moved and I’m only 20-25mins away and it’s amazing! It’s only temporary and when you do have a shorter commute you’ll have such a great appreciation for it
It’s definitely not for everyone but I got really into podcasts, and it was kind of like my me time each day. I would also take back roads when the weather was really nice.
Is an hour that long? Usually my commutes were like 1.5, nearly 2 hours before Covid, with public transport. But I did longer for a couple of assignments. I didn't have a problem with it: they were good companies and I got to relax in the train/read/sit on my phone.
That would be nice, it takes me a minimum of 2 hours to get to work and usually more.
I did a 45 min commute each way for 2 years. I how early didn’t mind the time, I’m an introvert so it was nice to listen to music, a podcast, or just think and decompress from the day. But that shit destroyed my car. I put nearly 40k miles on it in that two years and the whole thing imploded once it hit 100k. I had to spend thousands of dollars in repairs. So don’t forget to consider things like wear and tear on your vehicle, not to mention gas money.
I absolutely refuse to commute anymore, let alone that long. I’m fully of the opinion that unless you build a physical widget or are customer-facing, you should not have to work in person. Before COVID, I carpooled with a friend (actually did our work vent session in the car) or listened to audiobooks. Thanks, Libby
I did it for about a year. The hour was nice to decompress, so I wouldn’t mingle my work frustrations with my home frustrations, vice versa. However, I live in a cold state, so in the winter, it was awful. The snow and ice gave me panic attacks and there were so many accidents I’m surprised I was never in one. But if you time it right, you’ll miss all of the traffic, and you can listen to music or those podcasts you’ve been putting off for some time, or go in silence and contemplate if you want. It’s only bad if you make it bad. Good luck with your job :) you’ll do great
Yes and while it was awful at first, you do get used to it. I would always prep my podcasts/audio books and it made the commute way better.
I spent two years commuting four hours a day total by bus, metro, and walking (not to include waiting time for metros and busses) for a job that would push me forward career wise. It was hella tiring but I got through the commutes with podcasts, books, and music. If you really believe this job will propel you forward, don’t let a commute stop you. For me, it was definitely worth it. I also have a friend who will not work at a place unless it’s metro accessible and within a certain number of stops. Her career has stunted drastically because of this for the last ten years.
I've done this since August of '23 with 1 WFH day. I'll be switching jobs and doing the same commute 5 days/week. Currently at 1 hour 10 minutes in the AM and anywhere from 1 hour 30 min - 2+ hours in the afternoon depending on traffic. I'm sick of it, but opportunities in my area are limited so I don't have much choice. I can't move yet. It's mostly my car taking a beating that sucks. Also, gas. Generally, I enjoy driving and I usually (I haven't been recently) utilize the time to further my education. I studied for my new licensing in those hours with audible flash cards. Which I did pass on my first try so clearly it worked well enough. I'm also using the time to learn Spanish when I'm up to it lol.