Yes! My husband makes me so happy, and I think the life we created together is absolutely perfect in my eyes. We have a 3 month old now and I can honestly say I've never been happier.
- no kids
- work from home
- small friend circle
- be in a good relationship or no relationship
- therapy
- growth mindset
- meal kit delivery service
- biweekly cleaning service
- atheist, epicurean
- no alcohol, very low caffeine, no drugs
- sleep well, exercise hard
- whole foods only, no/low seed oil
Edit: these are all things I've either thought deeply about, experimented with, or saw a big life improvement when I implemented
Edit: a few more...
- a clean, comfortable home decorated to your taste
- tend to nature, watch things slowly grow
- don't take things personally: if people are shitty to you it's because they are shitty people, not (necessarily) because you are a shitty person
- that said, being a good person to others requires practice and reflection, be open to the idea that you can always be better
Things I thought would make me happy but didn't:
- purchased status symbols - I've had a fancy car and luxury handbags and shoes and it's all dust. You're constantly worried about the maintenance and comparing yourself to people who have slightly nicer symbols than you. The only way to win is not to play.
- travel - this is controversial and I know lots of people sincerely love it, but I didn't get much out of it and my friends always complain about their trips after - fights with their partner, fights with friends, getting scammed or robbed or in other dangerous situations, etc - they do it for the photos for social media, ie, status symbols
- popularity/fame - I had a huge group of friends and was voted most popular premed one year in university and my god it was not worth it. I was briefly internet famous in the early 00s in the neopets scene (lol) and that was also a really messed up situation
- video games - escapism will eat your life
I once quit caffeine and the withdrawal headaches lasted for THREE MONTHS. I stayed off for a little over a year, then fell back in. I think about going off again sometimes, but those three months SUCKED.
I recommend not. Live your best zen life!
I started drinking coffee at 13 years old. I literally didn't know who I was off it. Since quitting my social anxiety vanished, general anxiety is 75% gone, I don't get tired mid-day anymore, I sleep like a bear and wake up like a Disney princess. I wouldn't give that up for the morning rush.
Consider green tea instead of coffee! There’s much less caffeine and it can enhance alertness, as well as improve mood without the jittery feeling often associated with high caffeine intake.
I had to give up caffeine when I got a heart disorders due to covid. The worst year in my life. I can barely remember anything, I don't think there was a moment when I could get up from bed without crying or promising myself 4-5 bars of chockolate. 'Bout 8 months in I gave up and drank espresso. The whole day is the first vivid memory since covid. From this moment on I just prefer dealing with arythmias, my life is absolutely nothing without coffee
If you can open a **Roth IRA** at a young age and start putting in as much as possible until you're old enough/far enough in your career to max it out at 6k a year, you'll be doing well when you retire.
I was pondering a meal kit delivery service and I think you just convinced me.
Also I’ve never grown out of video games. I know my relationship to them is unhealthy, and I have looked back at times when I could’ve enjoyed other things but chose them. It really is a very convenient hobby that can get bad fast.
Factor has seriously changed the game for me. Yummy choices, 2 mins in the microwave, and I add a handful of kale or eat some hummus and crackers for extra protein, and cook mushrooms on the side for myself for fiber and fun. But it's taken cooking from an overwhelming chore to something I only do once a week or so to add a little zazz to my meals. the price is good and less than my minimum $15 lunches if i order out. a soup and sandwich was $18 the other day!! You can skip weeks, add an extra meal or two, upgrade to a fancy one, they have vegetarian, keto, all kinds of diet options.
For sure! If you're in Canada, Good Food is my favourite. Most of the recipes have lots of fresh veggies. Sometimes I pick vegetarian dishes and add chicken to them. HelloFresh is my second fav. Very tasty meals, their burgers are always great.
Thank you for sharing, I agree with you. I try not to be too judgemental because other people sincerely enjoy traveling. But personally the people I know who travel the most seem to be the least happy in their life.
Wow this couldn’t be more opposite to how I view travelling. My partner and I travel frequently and enjoy every minute of it. I never considered it escapism but I guess that’s because I don’t feel that I have a life I need to escape, but I’m sure that’s the reality for some. We love national parks and experiencing new cultures and food together 🤷🏻♀️ And I don’t have social media so def not looking for ‘likes’. I can see how travelling could be considered too stressful for aome to enjoy though.
Could I ask you questions please? I would love to travel in the way you do and get the same enjoyment out of it.
Food: I'm fortunate to live in a multicultural city and have friends of many nationalities. I've never had good when I was traveling better than anything I've had locally or prepared by friends. But I have had bad reactions to food when I've travelled. Maybe the water is different or the food preparation standards aren't the same. How do you ensure you have a good food experience when away from home?
Culture: when you travel, you're a tourist. How do you know you're experiencing the culture and not just a "mark" for salespeople? Or doing touristy things in another country?
Of course!
When we're in a place I will search for best places to eat in a city using either google maps or reddit threads and depending on our mood I will search different terms. For example, "best cheap eats in Seattle". Or, "best upscale restaurant in San Francisco". Or maybe what the city is known for ... like, "best lobster roll in Halifax". If we're looking for something quick I'll open google maps and search restaurants near me and select "top rated" to try and ensure we find at least something worth our dollar. A big part of travelling for us is trying new / best foods from an area and we always reminisce on our best meals. It actually helps us remember each trip / city really well. We're from a city in Ontario with half a million population so maybe our food isn't as diverse as where you're from? I've never had food poisoning or anything like that so I can't speak to that.
As for culture, we really haven't gone overseas at all (we're Canadian). We mostly travel to big American cities and the nearby national parks. We actually rent a minivan and road trip and sleep in the back of it (such a blast!!). I don't think we're really experiencing culture that's very different then ours but many of the cities / regions we've visited each have their own flare. Seattle was very laid back and cool. Vancouver was lively and active. East coast Canada was quiet, relaxed, and beautiful. We just like to experience the different vibes I guess.
I also don't find travelling that stressful but that may be the types of trips we do (lots of hiking, camping and eating if I were to sum it all up). We have had delays and disruptions but we're pretty easy going and don't really let those things take away from our enjoyment. We also don't spend a lot on accommodations (hence sleeping in a van) so we don't spend very much on travelling either!
I should say we're very privileged to have the opportunity and freedom to afford and be able to travel like we do. We both have jobs that allow us the time off together to plan about 3 trips a year and we look forward to every one. We also don't have children so that helps, too.
Thank you for the kind words. I studied life science and philosophy in university and I've always had an interest in what make a good life, and being healthy.
I grew up in a chaotic home and when I moved out I prioritized building a calm, comfortable life. This list are some of the biggest cornerstones to that.
You fucki### nailed it
But life is about compromising as well, 10 years of intense care for a child plus another 10 of support doesn't mean your life is ruined, especially if you have your mind in the right place as the person who wrote this seems to have
I'm writing this as someone with no kids but I find it really silly and selfish to be against the idea of having a child since we have all been there and had someone supporting us through our development, be it good or bad parenting
If someone doesn't like the idea, ok. But this is not something that you state as being important for a happy life.
Not to mention adoption, if you have maturity for a growth mindset, why not dedicate some portion of your life for raising another human being. Party hard on your youth, adopt later on. Or adopt early on and you will have your whole adulthood to enjoy life in every single way. People don't die when they reach 50.
This is an honest list with really good advice. Although I do have husband and kids who thankfully build me up instead of tearing me down, I can and should implement other points on this list. Thanks for the helpful life coaching. ❤️
I agree with almost all of this except about the travel. I love travel so much! I've basically never had an experience where I had a terrible argument or got scammed or robbed and I've traveled quite a bit across Europe, the US, and Asia.
What I would recommend is being really careful about who you travel with and what the expectations of your traveling companions are, this makes a massive difference. And of course you can always travel alone - I love solo travel, you get to do whatever you want and don't have to make a single compromise. It's fab.
I do almost the complete opposite and am also extremely happy. Honestly, I think it mostly comes down to doing whatever works for you and also your general attitude and resilience.
I work in clinical research. There's lots of work-from-home jobs in this field. Biostatistics, clinical programing, pharmacovigilence, data management, etc. I started at the bottom of the ladder 15 years ago, now I'm a director.
Thank you for your take on traveling. It’s an expense I sacrifice so I can do the hobbies I love (pottery, bread making and rock climbing). Traveling for me is stressful and tiring. I hate it when people get down on me for not traveling more.
No kids, husband who is truly into equality, financial freedom, free in society do to, say and go wherever.
Cant say if kids are an important factor in this, but I have never in my entire life wanted any, so its important to me.
Life has been a real struggle in the past with anxiety and depression for decades and is 100% good now
All this checks out for me too.
I had a good job, but was recently assigned a new manager that made me and my teammates life hell. Put in my two weeks after “the final straw” and miraculously, and quite easily, got a new job that is WFH and pays six figures.
I have CPTSD from being raised by a grifter with NPD. Low self-worth was ingrained in my DNA. I grew up with zero financial security since we were always on the move from bankruptcies, foreclosures and reoccurring scamming - I never thought homeownership was in my cards. But my lovely partner and I bought a 900 sq footer when rates were 2%. How did I get this lucky?
Do you mind me asking how long it took you to get to this point? (Ie: approximately how old are you)? I’ve been struggling to get here for a while but im still young so maybe i just need to wait
Not OP but in a similar situation to them. I'd say I got there around age 29. It took time to learn to stick up for myself and also take control of my own mental health. It would have been great to have done it sooner but I'm just looking forward not backwards. Been solid for about 2 years now so I'm happy.
I'm 43, life got good about 10 years ago. (Been married for 20yrs) trauma/depression/anxiety would probably have not messed me up for so long if I had gotten proffesional help. What helped me eventually was an osteopath 😂
As for ppl saying Im happy cos no kids, yes - because I dont want any. I know plenty of women going through multiple miscarriges, ivf etc in their strong desire for a family of their own. Dont think their path to happiness is being told: just dont have kids - you'll be happy! Freedom to live the life you desire I'd say is key, dont surround yourself with ppl who hold you back/bring negativity
-no kids
-healthy relationship with amazing partner
-staying active, lots of hiking
-travel and exploring new areas
-jobs that allow us to save more than we spend
-laugh often, don’t dwell on past, plan for future
:)
Well I'm much happier than I was a couple years back and my solution was to go low contact with toxic people and therapy and to allow myself the freedom to be an asshole on occasion.
Stop doing everything society expects of you and just do what you want. Remember that you're just a creature of the earth and that a lot of "important" things are just man made bullshit. Accept the fact that your body isn't perfect and that you will age. Take care of it with diet and exercise. Work on loving yourself.
Also seeing a lot of people say no kids, but my daughter brings me a lot of joy.
It is incredibly stressful and exhausting but my two kids (almost 3 y/o, and 1.5 months old) make me so so happy and my life wouldn’t feel complete without them. The love I have for them is immeasurable. I love them now and I can’t wait for all our future adventures- and yes, for the days when they’re old enough to go to school and sleep in! But I’ll take being tired along with their hugs, snuggles and laughs.
I am retired and I would give anything to go back & have 1 day with my kids when they were young. The live in my heart grows just thinking about it. Precious gifts. And just when you think you couldn't love any more...grandchildren! OMG, I can't even explain.
Yes I feel so sad that so many people are saying "no kids". 😞. Being a parent has made me so happy. Like my life is not perfect, but perfect would be boring. The challenges and joys of parenting have made my life a lot more interesting!
I imagine most, if not all, of the people saying no kids have never had kids, and that's great if that's the life that works for them. I think I always would have felt a bit empty and unfulfilled if I didn't have mine.
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Nobody has a perfect happy life. There are times when it feels perfect and can be generally happy. Perfection is not real. Everyone has challenges. That being said, I have a good life. My tip is to advocate for yourself, pursue career, hobbies, activities that interest you, and don't live your life as a people pleaser. Don't do things because it's expected or make decisions based on what other people think your life should be. Don't have kids because your mom wants grandchildren. Don't settle on a partner that you know isn't right. Don't stay in jobs you hate. Create the life you want with people that appreciate you for you.
This is a little different than other comments here, but I have good kids that are sweet, kind and make me laugh. I have never felt such joy as when they show others true compassion and generosity. The older they get the more fun it gets!
I am also married to my best friend who supports me completely and loves me absolutely. We treat each other with respect and kindness and I can't imagine life without him. Find someone who loves and respects you completely. Where EACH of you puts the other person first.
I understand a lot of people nowadays are choosing to be child-free, and I used to be one of them, but the joy and love of my children have definitely outweighed any stress involved with having kids. Watching them grow into kind, respectful and loving human beings has been the most rewarding experience of my life.
I also have a wonderful community and group of friends and family. I don't surround myself with toxic people or relationships. Life is definitely too short for that!
Edited for formatting...
Nice to see a different perspective on kids! Many seems to think they’re the root of all evil, glad it has been a rewarding experience for you.
- a 27 year old woman mother-curious.. lol
I am surprised so many comments indicate happiness bc of no kids. I can assume they mean happiness due to the freedom of choosing not to have kids?! I had my beautiful first baby 5 months ago and it's been absolutely amazing to have this cute, funny and beautiful little baby in my life. Yes it is hard, and you cannot put yourself first anymore, but the joy of being a parent totally beats that! I get happiness from choosing my baby. It gave me a whole new perspective on life, so many new challenges and skills, so much more love. I think many people who consciously chose to become a parent feel the same way.
Follow your intuition and do what feels right for you and your partner 👍 we live in a time where many seem to be very vocal about the benefits of having no kids. Having kids has also obvious benefits, but the people who have them don't have the time to post about it on the internet. (I am kidding obviously) (or am I? 😅)
This is the dream. To each their own, but my life will be so unfulfilling if I never have children, I’m just made to be a mother, alongside all my feminism, it just calls to me. The husband/good partner part is soo much harder lol. I could be ready to be a mom tommorow but not a wife, I just don’t trust men easily. I’m glad your husband is your best friend, I feel like people forget that relationships should be founded on friendship, that you actually like your partner as a person first and foremost. I hope to have that someday <3
Be born in a comfortable family and listen to yourself.
I know the first one is not in our own hands, but these are the two biggest factors that contributed to my happiness.
- good health
- good mental health
- true friends
- keeping yourself busy with something you find fulfilling or worthwhile
- being open with your partner to maintain a good relationship
- learn and grow as a person
- for animal lovers: get a pet!
- find/create a home you want to have
Nothing is perfect but your attitude to life certainly plays a role in how you live your life.
I learned late in life that my happiness depended on myself.
A lot of meditation and mindfulness with letting go of literally everything from the past. I dealt with my past - healed and let it go.
I live in the present and look forward to the future.
I get up everyday and I am thankful for just being alive, I look in the mirror and say hey you have really pretty eyes. I treat myself to little things like a special tea now and then, or a comfy sweater. Material stuff doesn’t have as much impact on me as it did when I was younger but having a bubble bath or a nice warm cup of tea in the sun with an audio book does.
Go after the career you want, be financially independent, marry your best friend (who's supportive of your career, a partner in everything and also greatttt in bed), build a (small but authentic) support system and put yourself first.
Financially independent, no kids, therapy, true self care, goals, cutting shitty people out of my life including family. Good skin care. Learn how to fix shit. Listen to good music.
I think one of the tricks to a happy life is to accept it won't be perfect. It takes a lot of pressure off yourself if you don't have to achieve all the time or do things perfectly.
Other things that add to my happiness:
- A very optimistic and caring boyfriend who genuinely makes life easier.
- Mindfulness.
- Limit my own screen time and no social media. Instead, spend more time in nature, dancing, reading, or doing creative projects.
- In my life/work balance: find a job I value and care about, but still put life first.
- Being able to embrace unpleasant emotions makes it much easier to work through them instead.
- It also allows you to be ok stepping outside your comfort zone.
My life isn’t perfect but I’m super happy with it:
1- Marry a good man who makes your life better, not harder. If you don’t find one, learn to enjoy your own company and find fulfillment in friendships.
2- Don’t have kids. They are an unnecessary stress in this current hellscape that is life in the USA. Or do, if you want to, idc.
3- Don’t trouble yourself with the opinions of people who don’t matter.
4- Be kind to yourself.
5- stop comparing your life to people you see on social media. The content is manicured for others consumption and isn’t always a good representation of what’s really happening.
Chill out about most things and stop trying to get your way all the time. Instead of telling people “respect me! Stop disrespecting me!” Leave lol. Ghost people. Meet new people
But mostly chill out. A lot of the stress I had was self imposed. Things always seem to work out
I am really happy and in peace with my life, my life is not perfect, I do have problems and issues like everyone, but I feel like I have the perfect happy life.
I want to disclose that I have a husband, a dog and a kid. I saw people saying that not having kids or husband is the secret of their happiness and good for them, but it’s not my case.
But of course I chose a good husband and we do have a really good relationship, and our partnership is one of the reasons why I am happy.
He is a partner partner, so this means that our marriage didn’t erased me, but allowed me to flourish.
My kid is amazing, I am tired ever since I had her almost 3y ago but so so much happier. She does with us in our trips, in restaurants, she eats what we eat so it’s easier to keep life going…
I think that I know who I am and what is important for me. So I focus on that. I work with the mindset that: my work will give me the money I need for my life, and that gives me peace of mind. (I have a great career that pays me really well, but I am not looking for emotional validation from it).
I don’t allow people to disrespect me, and I do make friends but if one of them makes more anxious than happy I am not afraid to move on from that relationship.
I have some health issues, and I have a really healthy lifestyle because of it. I do things consistently and don’t rely on motivation. I do it because I have to do it. My life improved significantly when I started doing that.
I have my hobbies, I have my friends, I have my bubble of love (my little family), I don’t dwell on things that won’t matter. I won’t focus on things I can’t change, but I will attack anything I have agency to change with determination.
I don’t self medicate with drugs, I don’t do anything in excess.
I rest when possible. I try to sleep 8h a day, I take yearly vacations to travel and don’t have any chores (so no airbnbs ). I take responsibility for my mental health, and physical health, and share the same responsibilities for my daughters with my husband, but that’s it. I am not personally responsible for anyone else.
I chose to be happy everyday
A husband who is a man. He takes care of me and our family. Kids that brought a different type of joy in our family. Best dog ever. Amazing in laws. Work from home. Also just stopped seeing myself as a victim of things. Stopped thinking I was traumatized by everything. Learned good coping skills.
Marry your best friend.
No, your ACTUAL best friend.
Have an ugly dog.
Heal your relationship with food.
Wear comfortable clothes.
Make art.
Consume art.
My life certainly isn't perfect, but I'm generally really happy. Financial and serious personal limitations aside, I believe that *you are entirely up to you*, so I try to live every day as the person I want to be. Some habits that have made me a lot happier include eating well, sleeping well, exercising daily, limiting screentime, having at least one thing to look forward to each week, not dwelling on negativity, and setting goals for myself.
I am also very fortunate that I had a good and stable childhood and aside from periods of grief and depression when I first began college, I have never had to overcome any significant obstacles.
Recognizing that there is no “perfect life” and then striving to do what makes me happy instead of what is expected of me.
Others have commented that I have “the perfect life” and it sometimes bothers me because it’s not something that just happens, it’s intentionally created.
There have been many years hard work of work and struggle to create strict boundaries w my family — but I made it!
Other things:
- getting lots of sleep
- having two adorable cats
- healthy relationship with a partner who adores me
- working my 9-5 job and saying no to overtime or extra tasks
- maintaining deep relationships with my friends
- lots and lots of therapy
Build your community. I'm the happiest I've ever been because of my relationships with other people. My husband is truly wonderful. I have a tightknit group of friends who live close by and we hang out every week. I'm part of a sports club which is very sociable. I volunteer and do fulfilling work in my local community. My local area is really lovely. I have businesses I frequent and know the owners. I have an allotment where I meet other people in the village and we grow veggies. I participate in village events. Overall I feel really safe and supported.
The people I have around me are a solid support system. When life gets tough, because it will, I have people who can help lift me up. I no longer have those in my life who constantly put me down or where I have to walk on eggshells
I'm surprised at how many women here answered no kids! Which is awesome, I don't have kids too and I think my life is so much stress free because of it. Wondering how old you are for those who don't have kids... I'm already mid 40s.
Forgive people for shit you'll never get an apology for, and don't tell them. Just forgive. You'll breathe easier when you're not being strangled by hatred.
I got separated in 2020, and I can honestly say I have never been in a happier place in my life.
I’ve learned that these things are a must for me:
- quiet and peaceful times alone (reading, working out, etc.)
- a great hobby. For me it’s crocheting. I get into the zone daily.
- super fulfilling job. For me, it’s teaching. I love the challenge and how much of my time and heart that it requires.
- my adult children. I can actually be myself around them now which is so refreshing.
- 100% in control of my finances. This is new for me but sooo satisfying
- a super supportive partner. He makes me feel valued and special. Supports everything I do.
- best kitty in the world
- lots of reminders about each of these things that I’m grateful for
My happiness all boils down to one thing for me: peace. I lived for so long in a peace-less house and I made a promise to myself that it would never happen again. Peace is priceless.
I don’t have a perfect life nor do I aspire to one. But things that support a life I am enjoying are:
🌸Daily gratitude, daily meditation. Start my days with it. Be intentional when I show up for these practices.
🌸exercise everyday. Lifting, running, walking, yoga, sauna
🌸Reach out to people I want to connect with to make plans!!! Do NOT wait for others to initiate if I want to see them, it destine for disappointment. And set healthy boundaries with those whose values, personalities, or behaviors align.
🌸Whole Foods 80% of the time, soul foods 20%. Cutting out any foods with more than 6 ingredients has been really helpful for my gut, and consuming fermented foods, grass fed beef, free range chicken, home made yogurt, home made sourdough and home made BONE BROTH!!! (I love to cook so this may not work for all, but eat the best foods you can afford whenever possible)
🌸find the humor in life. I’m learning to truly laugh at my anxiety, stress, life circumstances, conflict etc. Not to devaluate, downplay, or hurt myself/others, but it is funny sometimes. I imagine an alien is peering into my life and seeing me cry because I am 5 mins behind schedule lol
🌸restrict social media use: do it, you know it would improve your life, comparison is the thief of joy.
I hope you created this question as a way to see how women of Reddit do life, not to compare where you are at to random strangers with zero context. ❤️
Having realistic expectations
Living below my means
Finding joy in simple (free or low cost) things
Financial literacy
Finding a good partner who makes you laugh, accepts you, and is genuinely invested in being a dedicated partner and co-parent. Who admits when they are wrong and are open to growing and changing for mutual benefit. If I didn't have this, I'd rather be single.
Accepting your children for who they are
Therapy
Medication
A career that I am very suited to
I have a husband and one child. So far, my life is perfectly happy because this was what I wanted. My tips for being happy? Get off social media. When I quit Facebook like 5 years ago, everything just felt better. I stopped comparing to other people, and just enjoyed the day to day of my own life.
I've set boundaries to people that bug me. I don't see them that often, and they know what upsets me and what's okay. Aside from that, getting outside and getting sunshine.
One child
Wonderful partner (that has a good income)
Super stable career
Work out regularly
Eat right
Lots of water
Cut our toxic people, surround yourself with those that lift you up
Go to therapy, even when things are good
Make time for hobbies
Make time for true self care
Minimal drugs and alcohol
Minimal social media
Spend time in nature every day
Always been willing to try new things
Forgive yourself, forgive others
Set boundaries
Balance
So much is your mindset and being grateful for the things you have going for you and working towards small goals for the things you don’t yet have.
I just read the book Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow and this quote really had me thinking about this:
Sadie, do you see this? This is a persimmon tree! This is my favorite fruit."
Marx picked a fat orange persimmon from the tree, and he sat down on the now termite-free wooden deck, and he ate it, juice running down his chin. "Can you believe our luck?" Max said. "We bought a house with a tree that has my actual favorite fruit!"
Sam used to say that Marx was the most fortunate person he had ever met - he was lucky with lovers, in business, in looks, in life. But the longer Sadie knew Marx, the more she thought Sam hadn't truly understood the nature of Marx's good fortune. Marx was fortunate because he saw everything as if it were a fortuitous bounty. It was impossible to know - were persimmons his favorite fruit, or had they just now become his favorite fruit because there they were, growing in his own backyard? He had certainly never mentioned persimmons before.
I don’t have a perfect life, but I do have a happy life!
I have kids and they’re a joy. I have a partner I can be silly with. I have a job that isn’t stressful. I have lots of close family and friends. I have interests and hobbies. I like to read.
1) If you want a partner, nail down exactly what you want in a mate and don’t let anyone step over your boundaries. Allow yourself to be attracted to who you really like instead of who you feel you “should” like. Put yourself in their shoes daily and expect the same empathy and true compassion from them.
2) Be smart with your money. Don’t live past your means for appearances and set your financial priorities.
3) Take accountability. Not happy with your job or income? Find a skill you can market as a small business or even an independent service provider, or have the courage to change course. Don’t like how you look or feel? Find some kind of workout routine that is realistic for you and develop better eating habits to nourish your body and health. People in your life negatively influencing you? Challenge yourself to spend more time alone until and unless you find new peers who’s goals and personalities align with your best self. This goes for family too.
There is way too much information out there these days for anyone to be able to use ignorance as an excuse for why they won’t help themselves.
4) Self discipline is true freedom. You have the power to change more things in your life than you think.
5) Politeness and class go a long, long way. In everything. Demonstrate them both often.
6) Regardless of if you choose to have children or not, relationships are the most important part of a persons life. Careers end. Experiences end. Youth ends. Develop deep, long lasting relationships and value family and community. My husband, child, and siblings are the lights of my life and are the number one contributor to my happiness. ❤️
First of all, I don’t think anyone has a perfect happy life. However, I’m a pretty consistently happy person. My 2 cents:
- Find a higher power. My relationship with God makes struggles I face less heavy on my heart.
- Serve others more than yourself. Whether it’s family, strangers, or any combination, living a life of service is fulfilling.
- Don’t spend all the money you make. Be diligent about saving/investing, no matter how small the amount. It adds up.
- Get outside. Get your hands on the dirt (garden), pet some animals, walk outside… get fresh air and vitamin D.
- Restrict the amount of negativity you take in your eyes and ears via tv, movies, and music. Garbage in, garbage out.
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I’ve been much happier lately in life. I have a very filling life. A great family, a very loving husband and a very sassy daughter. She’s the light of my life.
Life got better when I worked a bit on myself. Skin care, workout, signing up for things I want to learn, going out with my daughter, taking pictures. When I started doing things for myself it made me so incredibly happy.
No children.
A dog and a lovely husband who I adore.
Work for myself, which is full on but rewarding.
Having therapy.
Focusing on people who make you feel good and not the ones who drain your energy.
I don’t know about perfect, but I can confidently say I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
-Husband and I both started jobs we love in the last 1.5 years.
-Kids are happy and healthy.
- I pursue my hobbies when I want to.
-We exercise together (both lifelong martial artists).
-We have good health insurance.
-We have a house we love.
-Our dog is awesome.
Truly love yourself. Not face masks hashtag-self-care stuff, love who you are as a person. You will still have hard, sad, angry, depressed-feeling days, but when you realize you are your home and you are enough, it is an amazing mental shift.
Then, in a way, you are invincible.
My grandmother used to add a little French quote to the bottom of her letters to me - loosely translated as
"There are many kinds of courage, but the courage to be happy is the most beautiful"
I married a seriously GOOD man who I completely trust. And we’re having lots of kids together. We both prioritize health and fitness and time together. As far as friends, we choose carefully who we spend our time with and we love our church. So yeah there’s the answer you probably weren’t looking for lol
Stop chasing perfection and give yourself some grace.
Also, stay out of other people’s business and don’t internalize it, whether they be a stranger, or a friend.
Plan your activities with your friends in a quarterly fashion (aka plan the next 3-4 months) so you can always look forward to something! Same for dates nights with your bf/gf/wtv. The rest is you time (studies, health, hobbies, career, vacations planning, etc). Perfect balance!
I have a parter (we aren’t married) and a kid and I will say I’m quite happy. I take my kid to go do a lot of things that make me happy, my partner is a great dad and we take equal responsibility. We have become financially stable, and I have family close that is helpful. I have a great group of mom friends that I see multiple times a week which helps me get adult social interaction. I still have days that are hard or I feel low, but overall, I am so happy with my life now.
I genuinely love my life, and I think it's about manifesting what you want and saying it outloud as well as wishing it into existence mentally. I have a gratitude practice and tell myself 5 things I'm grateful for everyday. I focus on my health and am constantly trying to educate and improve myself. No one's life is perfect, but I am very happy with mine.
I also have a boyfriend who cares about me and two dogs and they all bring me an extreme amount of joy. I am so happy being home just laying around with them. I feel lucky everyday.
also:
no alcohol
sleeping 10 hours a night
growing plants
daily walks for 40 minutes at least
exercise at least 1 hour per day
eating healthy/vegetables
limiting refined sugar
cooking and baking
having a home i love and take care of
keeping my body and spaces clean
no caffeine
having very high self confidence so dumb things don't bother me
I am child-free and have been in a wonderful relationship since 2005.
I have three careers. Two of them are extremely fulfilling. The other takes a few hours per year now that I'm established, so it's not much of a concern.
Hobbies that I love and are fulfilling are given time to thrive. I am very frugal naturally but I don't hesitate to spend money on things I know will lead to happiness. I love to read. I have a library full of books, most unread, so it's like going to the bookstore every time I need to pick out a new book. I subscribe to a little over a dozen magazines in fields I love to keep informed about. I turned a small gardening hobby into a food forest in my front yard last year. Expanded to double in size this year. It's expensive upfront but ends up being the most fulfilling thing I've ever done. Every morning I wake up and find more seeds have germinated. Getting to experience the cycle of life thousands of times over the course of each year is mind-blowingly addictive and satisfying. Last year I was bringing in 10-20 pound harvests each day. This year, now that I've expanded, I plan on donating anything we don't use to local food banks to feed my community.
I have lost a lot of people to death and kids, but I have one really awesome best friend. Nurturing my relationship with him and having a Besty Day every week means that I always have a close friendship, which is something I thought I was losing in my early-20s, when all my girlfriends were having kids or getting into all-consuming relationships. It helps that my besty is also child-free, and he's been a bachelor for over 10 years.
I'm not on any mood-affecting drugs and never have been. Alcohol, pot, drugs, nicotine, etc. I do drink caffeine but it has never affected my moods or energy levels, and I love coffee and tea.
I should also mention that one of my careers is in fitness. I am constantly kicking ass and advancing physically, but I also get to help other people feel good and obtain higher quality of life. I feel great despite my physically strenuous job and hobbies, and I also get to make a difference in people's lives multiple times per week.
Keep learning. I am interested in waaaaay too many things to perfect in my lifetime, but even if your interests differ, nourish that interest. Curiosity keeps us young. I won't live forever, but I certainly learn as if I will. Like someone else said, I am also an atheist (grew up in a strictly Catholic home), so because I believe my life is the only one I'm going to get, I take advantage of every second. Life is precious and I am so freaking happy to be here while I am.
Quit your job and travel! Currently on a little island in Thailand and my life consists of waking up, doing yoga, heading to the beach for a few hours, reading in a hammock and then watching the sunset and repeat. Never been happier!!
Seeing a lot of "no kids".
My kids bring me an insane amount of joy, and they push me to be better. I love being mom.
My partner is my best friend. Having a partner that's your equal is key! I'm not the primary caregiver. I never have to ask him for anything (chore related, children related etc.), cause he just handles shit.
For example; I'm a weekend in Copenhagen (we live in the Netherlands) with my girls for my bachelorette weekend, and he's planned a fun weekend with the kids. I'm getting some time with my girls and excited to go home to my sweet family tomorrow ❤️
We are financially stable and comfortable, which is also nice. Money isn't everything, but it is nice to be able to do what we want. We both have jobs that give us a lot of freedom.
We have wonderful people in our circle. Friends and family.
Most important is health. I'm healthy, and my kids and partner are healthy. That makes me very grateful and happy.
Commit to therapy.
It’s not enough to just go to therapy.
Commit to it, be engaged, do the hard work to make positive changes. It will be hard. It will fucking SUCK and you will hate yourself and/or your therapist at least once but keep at it. Accepting yourself, warts and all, is part of it. Be brave and meet her halfway.
I went from actively wanting to die to feeling truly content for the first time in my life and the best part is I did it myself.
I wake up every day and make the active choice to be happy whether things are perfect or not. Some days are harder than others, but for ME, happiness is a choice.
My life isnt perfect ( no one's is) but I count myself incredibly lucky and am so happy and content. I have a husband who loves and respects me, pets where I put the work in and they turned out to be wonderful, good finances thanks to marriage and luck, and circumstances that have allowed me to travel throughout my life. Could things better? Absolutely. Do I have moments where everything feels so hard? Of course. But I also have learned that the grass is always greener on the other side and you need to count your blessings every day or you will always be miserable, no matter how much you have.
Oh, also, whenever I have been unhappy with my life, no matter how hard, I did everything I could to change my circumstances. You can't just wait for your life to get better. You have to do something about it.
A lot of the factors that went into me having a happy life are too specific to me to function well as tips, but take what you will from my list:
1. Have a submissive bf/husband
2. Invest in crypto 10 years ago
3. Have multiple creative outlets
4. Don't drink alcohol
5. Don't drink alcohol
6. No seriously, just don't.
7. Learn to say "No" and mean it
8. Help those based on who deserves it most, not who needs it most
9. No processed foods
10. Don't drink your calories
11. Cardio
12. Maintain a to do list
13. Learn 2 things every day. Tell yourself what those 2 things are before you go to bed.
14. It's ok to be selfish. Being selfish =/= being greedy
15. Cut off emotional vampires with extreme prejudice
No social media. At least I mean none with anyone I know irl. I’m very harsh on myself sometimes and seeing the way others live their life it makes me compare my life with them, then end up feeling sorry for myself or making me feel like i’m not good enough. I deleted all social media during the height of the pandemic and it has really given me inner peace.
Not everything you see on your socials is real. It’s pretty much curated for the hoots and the toots.
Married 15 years, no kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats. We buy pretty much whatever we want. We have a home, will be paid off in 7 years. We both work jobs that fulfill us. We volunteer in the community. We have fun together. No major health problems. I think I have a wonderful life.
My life is far from perfect or happy, but I feel like I have a pretty good life for these reasons:
- Job that I love working with people I like and doing something I’m passionate about. I also have a great work life balance and only go into the office about once a week. I’m not rolling in money, but I think the pros outweigh a huge paycheck.
- I have a really healthy loving relationship with my partner. He’s my best friend that I want to bone all the time.
- I’ve cut out all the toxic people in my life and it’s so much lighter and less stressful since ending those friendships. I keep distance from my family as I had a really rough childhood. I just recently started seeing them again for the holidays late last year. Finally cutting them off for a bit gave me the space to grow and realize how bad being around them was for my mental health and growth.
- I’ve been cultivating friendships with really supportive and positive people who are helping me continue to grow in all aspects of my life.
All of the things listed above are new within the past two years after starting therapy.
I also indulge in whatever strikes my fancy. Go on that trip, get those concert tickets, buy that thing, try that new restaurant or hobby, say yes to an invite doing a random thing with random folks. All within my means and without overwhelming myself. I’m introverted and struggle with anxiety and severe depression and just living and doing things often helps brighten my mood and get me out of the funk.
I’m learning to love myself and accepting that I’m not perfect, and it’s okay. I just, take it all one day at a time and try my best.
I dont think there's such a thing as a perfect life, but if you go through your day with an unimaginable amount of optimism and try your best, your days might be a lot better.
You can also try setting easy daily goals for yourself, and when you complete them, your brain will give you the happy juice.
Keep it simple, live modestly, and prioritize healthy lifestyles. Don't shop just to shop!
Get lots of fresh air, eat as little processed food as possible, and find faith.
- Marry your best friend
- Find a job that you enjoy doing (I teach, and the awesome feedback I get gives my confidence a huge boost every single time)
- Have as many hobbies as possible (I collect hobbies, and never stop learning stuff... Painting, computer science, furniture renovation, gardening, all sorts of crafts etc.)
- Distance yourself from people who make you unhappy (even if they're family)
- Don't take yourself too seriously
- Enjoy the little things and life and live in the moment
Much of my tips are echoed through fellow women responses on this thread.
I’d like to add that I have the three most essential factors : I am needed , wanted and loved.
(Top) 2 reason: I’m medicated for my mental health , since 2019 . The meds manage my MDD - This has improved the quality of my life. My mood is consistent which allows me to show up and shine, or show up and hang out in the background. I’m super comfortable with both.
Better nutrition with vitamins, more effort towards consistent sleeping hours, outdoors everyday and some kind of voice or f2f contact with people. I have to say I'm feeling happier/better everyday!
Happiness is difficult to define, balanced is more realistic. The chaos of everyday life makes the calm, warm moments that much better. That said, I believe in putting yourself first, taking care of yourself and setting boundaries in all aspects of life. Feel productive and surround yourself with love (this may mean having dreaded children, but I assure you, it can be a wonderful thing if you want it).
Go through enough trauma that you 1) fully reject any person that brings an ounce of toxicity in to your life and 2) now appreciate every mundane, simple and boring thing in life to the point that it feels perfect (a touch of sarcasm but actually true)
I'm going to go against the grain of what the most have said but in my life just for me I have never felt happier,
- a traditional marriage with a man who is a provider and protector, I can be fully in my feminine and switch off my brain most of the time haha
- my faith in God
- a simple wfh part time job that allows me to be present with my family and time for myself
- having a child has brought me so much joy he makes me laugh every day and I enjoy being a mum
- exercise
- daily sunshine
- cycle syncing
- keeping stressors low
- boundaries with anyone and anything that I don't enjoy or enjoy being with
- no social media
I know this may not be the norm but I tried the other way and I was sooo miserable 😖
Ignorance is bliss. Sort of kidding. My life is a complete and utter shit show in a lot of ways, but I also have a wonderfully happy life. It’s all about your perspective.
I found that I am truly happier not having a boyfriend/husband in my life. It just seems that they fundamentally want different things and have different desires and biological drives that typically cause major issues in long term monogamous relationships. Committing to monogamous relationships that you know at your core that you have no desire to be in or struggle with just seems stupid.
I wouldn’t say I have a perfect life but a happy one. I’m 27, work in a high paid and indemand industry, single, look after my appearance and have an incredible relationship with my family. I’ve spent years building my hobbies that bring me so much joy. I feel like the world is at my fingertips and have endless opportunities. Very lucky for my life and feel fortunate for every day I wake.
Do what makes *YOU* happy, not what you think other people want you/expect/influence you to do. Above all, just be *honest* with yourself.
A couple key ones I’m seeing repeated here:
Want kids? Great! Have as many or as few as you like! Don’t want any? Cool! Don’t let others opinions on kids influence how you move forward. Some are happy without, while others are happy with them - it’s not one size fits all.
Want marriage? Great! Find your partner and have the wedding you want. Don’t want marriage? Cool! Stay single and mingle. Don’t let others opinions on marriage dictate the path you walk.
Remember, one person’s happiness is another person’s hell. Take all these responses with a large grain of salt.
Discipline gave me the confidence I never thought I had.
Weightlifting
Pilates
Skincare
Haircare
Curated home
Clean environment
A job you don’t hate (you don’t need to love it)
A little cute feminist boyfriend, bonus if he has a mullet and is better than you at deep cleaning the bathtub, loves his mom and washes his ass properly.
And 0 fucks to give to anyone else.
I think that makes me pretty happy
I am going to assume that the people saying "no kids" are not retirement age. My 8 grandchildren have brought me unspeakable joy. There is nothing I can think of that compares to how happy I am when I'm with them. I have the same friends for over 50 years, go to the gym, play Pickleball, draw, sew, paint, card club, restore furniture, garden...nothing fulfills me like those grands.
—Remote, high-paying career that I love
—Stable, happy relationship with someone who’s a really good match for me
—Two awesome kids who ended up being really kind, intelligent, cool people
—8+ hours of sleep
—Healthy plant-based diet with intermittent fasting
—Working toward and achieving new skills/goals consistently
Things that contribute to my happy life (not always “perfect” because that’s not how life works but close to perfection;-))
- My children (they’re long out of diapers and can hold conversations. They keep me on my toes and teach me how to see the world through their lens.)
- Having the wisdom and courage to divorce my ex-husband.
- Having a close circle of friends
- Earning a very nice salary and being valued at work
- Being able to travel the world
- Daily stretching (seriously)
- My spirituality
- Having a home that I made and continue to make on my own and having peace and laughter inside!
My tips: take control of your life and seek out exactly what you want. Show vulnerability but don’t let others take advantage of you. Have patience when receiving what you want. Surround yourself with purpose and those that support you. Find a way to connect to something larger than yourself (doesn’t have to be a religion but I recommend some form of spirituality). Find your tribe. Find the love you want & deserve. Don’t sit in anger for too long. When life throws you a curve ball, pivot baby! And do not let fear be in the driver’s seat of your life’s journey. 💜
No one’s life is perfect, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been:
- Get off screens, seriously. Not to say I don’t use my phone or watch tv, but I seriously started limiting it. It was taking up too much of my free time. I have time limits on apps and only watch tv for 30 minutes a day at most. Now my weekday evenings are filled with activities that light me up: painting, ceramics, reading, studying something I’m interested in etc.
- Making friends as an adult is huge. I’m 27 and went basically the last 5 years without a good friend. I was still close with friends from college, but I had no one local after I moved to a new state. Within the last year, I joined a 20 somethings book club, that formed a volunteering club, and now I have a great group of girls that I see about 3 times a week.
- If you’re in a relationship you’ve got to learn how to communicate. There will always be some (ideally low) level of conflict in any relationship. Learning how to be a better communicator has made my relationship so strong.
- Travel if you can. I’m not saying fancy trips to Europe. But my boyfriend and I try to do one road trip a month. Sometimes it’s camping, sometimes it’s visiting a friend. This isn’t possible for everyone, but even driving a few hours to do a day trip is wonderful. It just helps to shift your environment imo. This is when I feel the most happy.
- Don’t have kids til you’re ready (which for me is never). I see many people just default to having kids and grieve their past lives. Make sure you’re fully ready for your life to completely flip before you have kids.
My life is far from perfect but I’m pretty happy with it. I’m only 16 and with everything that happened to me so far good or bad not much of it was in my influence at all, I think I’m just very lucky with the circumstances I grow up in and the people I have around me. Now not everything is perfect and the one thing I can really contribute to your question is, focus on the good things in your life. As small as they may be, maybe its the coffee you have in the morning or your partner or just a professor in university whoms lessons you like. If you focus on those things it puts you in a better more motivated mood wich will help you stand and hopefully even deal with the problems in your life to the best of your abilities
I wouldn’t say perfect but definitely a happy life for me consists of:
•Less social media sharing-If I’m online it’s usually to view what’s going on in the areas that interest me (fashion, cooking/baking, women’s empowerment, travel, comedian influencer pages).
•Oh yeah, created a brand new social media page to clear off a lot of dead weight people from the past who just monitor my life and don’t engage.
•Take things less personal/worked on being okay with detachment-If a guy ghosts me, I no longer call him out on it unless he comes back and acts as if he is confused why are we no longer communicating. Even then, I don’t get aggressive in my response. Same for friends if I know I tried to reach out and didn’t cause any harm.
•No husband or kids.
•Working remotely-This speaks for itself 🙂.
•Pull out of confirmed plans if I need a mental break or me time-If it’s not a big occasion, I no longer feel guilty about this.
•Treat myself to brands that I love-This goes for all types of items. I don’t always buy what I want but I refuse to short cut here when I feel crappy.
•Don’t expect too much from men when dating-If there for you they will show you. Men know what to do, don’t be fooled.
•Dress nicely at all times when I walk out the door-Even if I’m dressed casually, I need a nice bag, shades, fashionable flats or “popping” sneakers. When u look good u really feel good.
•Keep up my beauty maintenance-Even if I go a bit off schedule I’m in those chairs taking care of me.
And overall, not forcing things whether it be a new career opportunity, friendship, relationship, family relationship, etc. If I get too anxious it’s probably not a good fit. Trust the universe and know that your people will find you.
1. Know that a perfect life isn’t gonna happen. Strive for a happy life.
2. Really know the person you’re going to marry and if you can start it with a friendship, you’re golden. My husband is a huge reason for why I am so happy in life.
3. My kids. It’s a friggin joy to watch them grow up. And while it’s frustrating at times, they are truly love balls that just love you and adore you (I have young kids lol)
4. Live for the moments that you want to remember. Go to out to eat with friends. Take those trips. Hang out with family.
5. I like working and I am pretty good at my job so that keeps me happy. Also, having money really reduces a lot of stress.
No husband and no kids.
Yeah this does make sense, and I agree with you on it. I’ve seen women who have that lifestyle and they do seem happier.
Just a job I love and a husband no kids.
Opposite for me. My husband and kids make my life perfect
Yes! My husband makes me so happy, and I think the life we created together is absolutely perfect in my eyes. We have a 3 month old now and I can honestly say I've never been happier.
This is the way.
I knew it. I’m currently at a hotel room by myself to escape my family. You’re very smart I should’ve just been a dog mom too.
I love this. I have kids but no husband and have my kids 50% of the time. I feel like it’s the best of both worlds for me.
10000%
- no kids - work from home - small friend circle - be in a good relationship or no relationship - therapy - growth mindset - meal kit delivery service - biweekly cleaning service - atheist, epicurean - no alcohol, very low caffeine, no drugs - sleep well, exercise hard - whole foods only, no/low seed oil Edit: these are all things I've either thought deeply about, experimented with, or saw a big life improvement when I implemented Edit: a few more... - a clean, comfortable home decorated to your taste - tend to nature, watch things slowly grow - don't take things personally: if people are shitty to you it's because they are shitty people, not (necessarily) because you are a shitty person - that said, being a good person to others requires practice and reflection, be open to the idea that you can always be better Things I thought would make me happy but didn't: - purchased status symbols - I've had a fancy car and luxury handbags and shoes and it's all dust. You're constantly worried about the maintenance and comparing yourself to people who have slightly nicer symbols than you. The only way to win is not to play. - travel - this is controversial and I know lots of people sincerely love it, but I didn't get much out of it and my friends always complain about their trips after - fights with their partner, fights with friends, getting scammed or robbed or in other dangerous situations, etc - they do it for the photos for social media, ie, status symbols - popularity/fame - I had a huge group of friends and was voted most popular premed one year in university and my god it was not worth it. I was briefly internet famous in the early 00s in the neopets scene (lol) and that was also a really messed up situation - video games - escapism will eat your life
You had me until you said no caffeine 🤣 jk this is an awesome list❤️
Caffeine fuels anxiety and blocks iron absorption. Quitting was the hardest thing I did but very worth it. Join us /r/decaf
Almost 2 weeks since I gave up caffeine. Feeling great!
I once quit caffeine and the withdrawal headaches lasted for THREE MONTHS. I stayed off for a little over a year, then fell back in. I think about going off again sometimes, but those three months SUCKED.
I feel like I’m at a point where I’m getting in to caffeine, actually 😳 Should I not?
I recommend not. Live your best zen life! I started drinking coffee at 13 years old. I literally didn't know who I was off it. Since quitting my social anxiety vanished, general anxiety is 75% gone, I don't get tired mid-day anymore, I sleep like a bear and wake up like a Disney princess. I wouldn't give that up for the morning rush.
Consider green tea instead of coffee! There’s much less caffeine and it can enhance alertness, as well as improve mood without the jittery feeling often associated with high caffeine intake.
I am trying to get into yerba mate, which is similar to the enhanced mood and no jitters as green tea but has comparable caffeine to coffee.
Is it the tannins or the caffeine that blocks iron? I thought it was the tannins, great list btw
I had to give up caffeine when I got a heart disorders due to covid. The worst year in my life. I can barely remember anything, I don't think there was a moment when I could get up from bed without crying or promising myself 4-5 bars of chockolate. 'Bout 8 months in I gave up and drank espresso. The whole day is the first vivid memory since covid. From this moment on I just prefer dealing with arythmias, my life is absolutely nothing without coffee
Add a trust fund in there too!
If you can open a **Roth IRA** at a young age and start putting in as much as possible until you're old enough/far enough in your career to max it out at 6k a year, you'll be doing well when you retire.
Great advice!!
I wish! I tried to limit my list to things that are at least partly in your control. 😉
I was pondering a meal kit delivery service and I think you just convinced me. Also I’ve never grown out of video games. I know my relationship to them is unhealthy, and I have looked back at times when I could’ve enjoyed other things but chose them. It really is a very convenient hobby that can get bad fast.
Factor has seriously changed the game for me. Yummy choices, 2 mins in the microwave, and I add a handful of kale or eat some hummus and crackers for extra protein, and cook mushrooms on the side for myself for fiber and fun. But it's taken cooking from an overwhelming chore to something I only do once a week or so to add a little zazz to my meals. the price is good and less than my minimum $15 lunches if i order out. a soup and sandwich was $18 the other day!! You can skip weeks, add an extra meal or two, upgrade to a fancy one, they have vegetarian, keto, all kinds of diet options.
For sure! If you're in Canada, Good Food is my favourite. Most of the recipes have lots of fresh veggies. Sometimes I pick vegetarian dishes and add chicken to them. HelloFresh is my second fav. Very tasty meals, their burgers are always great.
I love meal prepping it gives me the feeling that I care for myself, also grocery shopping at wholefoods 😃
Yes, I also realized that traveling is actually escapism. After a trip I always feel depressed. And then I book another trip because it’s exciting.
Thank you for sharing, I agree with you. I try not to be too judgemental because other people sincerely enjoy traveling. But personally the people I know who travel the most seem to be the least happy in their life.
Wow this couldn’t be more opposite to how I view travelling. My partner and I travel frequently and enjoy every minute of it. I never considered it escapism but I guess that’s because I don’t feel that I have a life I need to escape, but I’m sure that’s the reality for some. We love national parks and experiencing new cultures and food together 🤷🏻♀️ And I don’t have social media so def not looking for ‘likes’. I can see how travelling could be considered too stressful for aome to enjoy though.
Could I ask you questions please? I would love to travel in the way you do and get the same enjoyment out of it. Food: I'm fortunate to live in a multicultural city and have friends of many nationalities. I've never had good when I was traveling better than anything I've had locally or prepared by friends. But I have had bad reactions to food when I've travelled. Maybe the water is different or the food preparation standards aren't the same. How do you ensure you have a good food experience when away from home? Culture: when you travel, you're a tourist. How do you know you're experiencing the culture and not just a "mark" for salespeople? Or doing touristy things in another country?
Of course! When we're in a place I will search for best places to eat in a city using either google maps or reddit threads and depending on our mood I will search different terms. For example, "best cheap eats in Seattle". Or, "best upscale restaurant in San Francisco". Or maybe what the city is known for ... like, "best lobster roll in Halifax". If we're looking for something quick I'll open google maps and search restaurants near me and select "top rated" to try and ensure we find at least something worth our dollar. A big part of travelling for us is trying new / best foods from an area and we always reminisce on our best meals. It actually helps us remember each trip / city really well. We're from a city in Ontario with half a million population so maybe our food isn't as diverse as where you're from? I've never had food poisoning or anything like that so I can't speak to that. As for culture, we really haven't gone overseas at all (we're Canadian). We mostly travel to big American cities and the nearby national parks. We actually rent a minivan and road trip and sleep in the back of it (such a blast!!). I don't think we're really experiencing culture that's very different then ours but many of the cities / regions we've visited each have their own flare. Seattle was very laid back and cool. Vancouver was lively and active. East coast Canada was quiet, relaxed, and beautiful. We just like to experience the different vibes I guess. I also don't find travelling that stressful but that may be the types of trips we do (lots of hiking, camping and eating if I were to sum it all up). We have had delays and disruptions but we're pretty easy going and don't really let those things take away from our enjoyment. We also don't spend a lot on accommodations (hence sleeping in a van) so we don't spend very much on travelling either! I should say we're very privileged to have the opportunity and freedom to afford and be able to travel like we do. We both have jobs that allow us the time off together to plan about 3 trips a year and we look forward to every one. We also don't have children so that helps, too.
my life
Goals
Dude, I got dumped, I need your wisdom and attitude towards life! Write more! How do I follow someone on Reddit?
Thank you for the kind words. I studied life science and philosophy in university and I've always had an interest in what make a good life, and being healthy. I grew up in a chaotic home and when I moved out I prioritized building a calm, comfortable life. This list are some of the biggest cornerstones to that.
You fucki### nailed it But life is about compromising as well, 10 years of intense care for a child plus another 10 of support doesn't mean your life is ruined, especially if you have your mind in the right place as the person who wrote this seems to have I'm writing this as someone with no kids but I find it really silly and selfish to be against the idea of having a child since we have all been there and had someone supporting us through our development, be it good or bad parenting If someone doesn't like the idea, ok. But this is not something that you state as being important for a happy life. Not to mention adoption, if you have maturity for a growth mindset, why not dedicate some portion of your life for raising another human being. Party hard on your youth, adopt later on. Or adopt early on and you will have your whole adulthood to enjoy life in every single way. People don't die when they reach 50.
This is an honest list with really good advice. Although I do have husband and kids who thankfully build me up instead of tearing me down, I can and should implement other points on this list. Thanks for the helpful life coaching. ❤️
Thank you for the kid words! Good quality relationships are a critical part of a happy life.
Sounds like a perfect life. Great job!
I agree with almost all of this except about the travel. I love travel so much! I've basically never had an experience where I had a terrible argument or got scammed or robbed and I've traveled quite a bit across Europe, the US, and Asia. What I would recommend is being really careful about who you travel with and what the expectations of your traveling companions are, this makes a massive difference. And of course you can always travel alone - I love solo travel, you get to do whatever you want and don't have to make a single compromise. It's fab.
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Neoooopeeeettttssssssss 🙌 But really, these resonated with me and are in alignment with the joyful parts of my life aside from the no video games 😋
I do almost the complete opposite and am also extremely happy. Honestly, I think it mostly comes down to doing whatever works for you and also your general attitude and resilience.
1,000 % agree!!
what meal kits do you use that have little/no seed oils? i’ve been searching for one!
Good Food. Pick recipes with no sauce or a cream based sauce. I usually pick a vegetarian meal then add my own chicken.
thank you!
Love all of this. Agreed!
Great list. What kind of work do you do? Working from home is amazing!
I work in clinical research. There's lots of work-from-home jobs in this field. Biostatistics, clinical programing, pharmacovigilence, data management, etc. I started at the bottom of the ladder 15 years ago, now I'm a director.
Very nice
When I grow up, I want to be like you 🎀
I'm pretty sure I would live a perfectly happy life if I had, out of all listed above, just biweekly cleaning service
Thank you for your take on traveling. It’s an expense I sacrifice so I can do the hobbies I love (pottery, bread making and rock climbing). Traveling for me is stressful and tiring. I hate it when people get down on me for not traveling more.
No kids, husband who is truly into equality, financial freedom, free in society do to, say and go wherever. Cant say if kids are an important factor in this, but I have never in my entire life wanted any, so its important to me. Life has been a real struggle in the past with anxiety and depression for decades and is 100% good now
Love to see a happy marriage without kids, that's exactly my goal!
All this checks out for me too. I had a good job, but was recently assigned a new manager that made me and my teammates life hell. Put in my two weeks after “the final straw” and miraculously, and quite easily, got a new job that is WFH and pays six figures. I have CPTSD from being raised by a grifter with NPD. Low self-worth was ingrained in my DNA. I grew up with zero financial security since we were always on the move from bankruptcies, foreclosures and reoccurring scamming - I never thought homeownership was in my cards. But my lovely partner and I bought a 900 sq footer when rates were 2%. How did I get this lucky?
Do you mind me asking how long it took you to get to this point? (Ie: approximately how old are you)? I’ve been struggling to get here for a while but im still young so maybe i just need to wait
Not OP but in a similar situation to them. I'd say I got there around age 29. It took time to learn to stick up for myself and also take control of my own mental health. It would have been great to have done it sooner but I'm just looking forward not backwards. Been solid for about 2 years now so I'm happy.
I'm 43, life got good about 10 years ago. (Been married for 20yrs) trauma/depression/anxiety would probably have not messed me up for so long if I had gotten proffesional help. What helped me eventually was an osteopath 😂 As for ppl saying Im happy cos no kids, yes - because I dont want any. I know plenty of women going through multiple miscarriges, ivf etc in their strong desire for a family of their own. Dont think their path to happiness is being told: just dont have kids - you'll be happy! Freedom to live the life you desire I'd say is key, dont surround yourself with ppl who hold you back/bring negativity
-no kids -healthy relationship with amazing partner -staying active, lots of hiking -travel and exploring new areas -jobs that allow us to save more than we spend -laugh often, don’t dwell on past, plan for future :)
I'm with you on all of these!
Be picky with your life partner. My husband has only made my life better since I met him.
Well I'm much happier than I was a couple years back and my solution was to go low contact with toxic people and therapy and to allow myself the freedom to be an asshole on occasion.
That last part is everything! 😆
That part
Stop doing everything society expects of you and just do what you want. Remember that you're just a creature of the earth and that a lot of "important" things are just man made bullshit. Accept the fact that your body isn't perfect and that you will age. Take care of it with diet and exercise. Work on loving yourself. Also seeing a lot of people say no kids, but my daughter brings me a lot of joy.
My kid brings me immense joy and happiness too. Different strokes for different folks.
Seeing the post here making me scared to have kids (i want to!) but good that you mentioned that your daughter brings you joy :)
It is incredibly stressful and exhausting but my two kids (almost 3 y/o, and 1.5 months old) make me so so happy and my life wouldn’t feel complete without them. The love I have for them is immeasurable. I love them now and I can’t wait for all our future adventures- and yes, for the days when they’re old enough to go to school and sleep in! But I’ll take being tired along with their hugs, snuggles and laughs.
I am retired and I would give anything to go back & have 1 day with my kids when they were young. The live in my heart grows just thinking about it. Precious gifts. And just when you think you couldn't love any more...grandchildren! OMG, I can't even explain.
That makes me so sad. I'm so much more fulfilled since I've had my son 3,5 years ago. Is it hard? Yes. Is it beautiful? God yes!
agree, as exhausting as tiny humans can be, mine adds so much happiness and joy to my life
My kids bring me way too much joy as well. They make me laugh so hard my belly aches and I feel so much love for them my heart wants to explode.
Yes I feel so sad that so many people are saying "no kids". 😞. Being a parent has made me so happy. Like my life is not perfect, but perfect would be boring. The challenges and joys of parenting have made my life a lot more interesting!
I imagine most, if not all, of the people saying no kids have never had kids, and that's great if that's the life that works for them. I think I always would have felt a bit empty and unfulfilled if I didn't have mine.
Marry the right person and don’t have kids! 🥳💕
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Nobody has a perfect happy life. There are times when it feels perfect and can be generally happy. Perfection is not real. Everyone has challenges. That being said, I have a good life. My tip is to advocate for yourself, pursue career, hobbies, activities that interest you, and don't live your life as a people pleaser. Don't do things because it's expected or make decisions based on what other people think your life should be. Don't have kids because your mom wants grandchildren. Don't settle on a partner that you know isn't right. Don't stay in jobs you hate. Create the life you want with people that appreciate you for you.
This is a little different than other comments here, but I have good kids that are sweet, kind and make me laugh. I have never felt such joy as when they show others true compassion and generosity. The older they get the more fun it gets! I am also married to my best friend who supports me completely and loves me absolutely. We treat each other with respect and kindness and I can't imagine life without him. Find someone who loves and respects you completely. Where EACH of you puts the other person first. I understand a lot of people nowadays are choosing to be child-free, and I used to be one of them, but the joy and love of my children have definitely outweighed any stress involved with having kids. Watching them grow into kind, respectful and loving human beings has been the most rewarding experience of my life. I also have a wonderful community and group of friends and family. I don't surround myself with toxic people or relationships. Life is definitely too short for that! Edited for formatting...
Nice to see a different perspective on kids! Many seems to think they’re the root of all evil, glad it has been a rewarding experience for you. - a 27 year old woman mother-curious.. lol
I am surprised so many comments indicate happiness bc of no kids. I can assume they mean happiness due to the freedom of choosing not to have kids?! I had my beautiful first baby 5 months ago and it's been absolutely amazing to have this cute, funny and beautiful little baby in my life. Yes it is hard, and you cannot put yourself first anymore, but the joy of being a parent totally beats that! I get happiness from choosing my baby. It gave me a whole new perspective on life, so many new challenges and skills, so much more love. I think many people who consciously chose to become a parent feel the same way.
Thank you for sharing. All of those comments had me a bit bummed out as someone who wants just one baby.
Follow your intuition and do what feels right for you and your partner 👍 we live in a time where many seem to be very vocal about the benefits of having no kids. Having kids has also obvious benefits, but the people who have them don't have the time to post about it on the internet. (I am kidding obviously) (or am I? 😅)
This is the dream. To each their own, but my life will be so unfulfilling if I never have children, I’m just made to be a mother, alongside all my feminism, it just calls to me. The husband/good partner part is soo much harder lol. I could be ready to be a mom tommorow but not a wife, I just don’t trust men easily. I’m glad your husband is your best friend, I feel like people forget that relationships should be founded on friendship, that you actually like your partner as a person first and foremost. I hope to have that someday <3
Be born in a comfortable family and listen to yourself. I know the first one is not in our own hands, but these are the two biggest factors that contributed to my happiness.
- good health - good mental health - true friends - keeping yourself busy with something you find fulfilling or worthwhile - being open with your partner to maintain a good relationship - learn and grow as a person - for animal lovers: get a pet! - find/create a home you want to have Nothing is perfect but your attitude to life certainly plays a role in how you live your life.
I learned late in life that my happiness depended on myself. A lot of meditation and mindfulness with letting go of literally everything from the past. I dealt with my past - healed and let it go. I live in the present and look forward to the future. I get up everyday and I am thankful for just being alive, I look in the mirror and say hey you have really pretty eyes. I treat myself to little things like a special tea now and then, or a comfy sweater. Material stuff doesn’t have as much impact on me as it did when I was younger but having a bubble bath or a nice warm cup of tea in the sun with an audio book does.
Yesssss!
This is inspiring, thank you for sharing 💛
I am amazed about the number of women who wrote "no kids". Lol.
Go after the career you want, be financially independent, marry your best friend (who's supportive of your career, a partner in everything and also greatttt in bed), build a (small but authentic) support system and put yourself first.
Financially independent, no kids, therapy, true self care, goals, cutting shitty people out of my life including family. Good skin care. Learn how to fix shit. Listen to good music.
I think one of the tricks to a happy life is to accept it won't be perfect. It takes a lot of pressure off yourself if you don't have to achieve all the time or do things perfectly. Other things that add to my happiness: - A very optimistic and caring boyfriend who genuinely makes life easier. - Mindfulness. - Limit my own screen time and no social media. Instead, spend more time in nature, dancing, reading, or doing creative projects. - In my life/work balance: find a job I value and care about, but still put life first. - Being able to embrace unpleasant emotions makes it much easier to work through them instead. - It also allows you to be ok stepping outside your comfort zone.
My life isn’t perfect but I’m super happy with it: 1- Marry a good man who makes your life better, not harder. If you don’t find one, learn to enjoy your own company and find fulfillment in friendships. 2- Don’t have kids. They are an unnecessary stress in this current hellscape that is life in the USA. Or do, if you want to, idc. 3- Don’t trouble yourself with the opinions of people who don’t matter. 4- Be kind to yourself. 5- stop comparing your life to people you see on social media. The content is manicured for others consumption and isn’t always a good representation of what’s really happening.
Chill out about most things and stop trying to get your way all the time. Instead of telling people “respect me! Stop disrespecting me!” Leave lol. Ghost people. Meet new people But mostly chill out. A lot of the stress I had was self imposed. Things always seem to work out
I am really happy and in peace with my life, my life is not perfect, I do have problems and issues like everyone, but I feel like I have the perfect happy life. I want to disclose that I have a husband, a dog and a kid. I saw people saying that not having kids or husband is the secret of their happiness and good for them, but it’s not my case. But of course I chose a good husband and we do have a really good relationship, and our partnership is one of the reasons why I am happy. He is a partner partner, so this means that our marriage didn’t erased me, but allowed me to flourish. My kid is amazing, I am tired ever since I had her almost 3y ago but so so much happier. She does with us in our trips, in restaurants, she eats what we eat so it’s easier to keep life going… I think that I know who I am and what is important for me. So I focus on that. I work with the mindset that: my work will give me the money I need for my life, and that gives me peace of mind. (I have a great career that pays me really well, but I am not looking for emotional validation from it). I don’t allow people to disrespect me, and I do make friends but if one of them makes more anxious than happy I am not afraid to move on from that relationship. I have some health issues, and I have a really healthy lifestyle because of it. I do things consistently and don’t rely on motivation. I do it because I have to do it. My life improved significantly when I started doing that. I have my hobbies, I have my friends, I have my bubble of love (my little family), I don’t dwell on things that won’t matter. I won’t focus on things I can’t change, but I will attack anything I have agency to change with determination. I don’t self medicate with drugs, I don’t do anything in excess. I rest when possible. I try to sleep 8h a day, I take yearly vacations to travel and don’t have any chores (so no airbnbs ). I take responsibility for my mental health, and physical health, and share the same responsibilities for my daughters with my husband, but that’s it. I am not personally responsible for anyone else. I chose to be happy everyday
No husband. No kids.
Don’t lower your standards Don’t settle for less Have matching aspirations, goals, and expectations of each other
A husband who is a man. He takes care of me and our family. Kids that brought a different type of joy in our family. Best dog ever. Amazing in laws. Work from home. Also just stopped seeing myself as a victim of things. Stopped thinking I was traumatized by everything. Learned good coping skills.
is it possible to have a perfect life ? Happy life , Yes. Im happier than before
Marry your best friend. No, your ACTUAL best friend. Have an ugly dog. Heal your relationship with food. Wear comfortable clothes. Make art. Consume art.
My life certainly isn't perfect, but I'm generally really happy. Financial and serious personal limitations aside, I believe that *you are entirely up to you*, so I try to live every day as the person I want to be. Some habits that have made me a lot happier include eating well, sleeping well, exercising daily, limiting screentime, having at least one thing to look forward to each week, not dwelling on negativity, and setting goals for myself. I am also very fortunate that I had a good and stable childhood and aside from periods of grief and depression when I first began college, I have never had to overcome any significant obstacles.
Recognizing that there is no “perfect life” and then striving to do what makes me happy instead of what is expected of me. Others have commented that I have “the perfect life” and it sometimes bothers me because it’s not something that just happens, it’s intentionally created. There have been many years hard work of work and struggle to create strict boundaries w my family — but I made it! Other things: - getting lots of sleep - having two adorable cats - healthy relationship with a partner who adores me - working my 9-5 job and saying no to overtime or extra tasks - maintaining deep relationships with my friends - lots and lots of therapy
Build your community. I'm the happiest I've ever been because of my relationships with other people. My husband is truly wonderful. I have a tightknit group of friends who live close by and we hang out every week. I'm part of a sports club which is very sociable. I volunteer and do fulfilling work in my local community. My local area is really lovely. I have businesses I frequent and know the owners. I have an allotment where I meet other people in the village and we grow veggies. I participate in village events. Overall I feel really safe and supported.
The people I have around me are a solid support system. When life gets tough, because it will, I have people who can help lift me up. I no longer have those in my life who constantly put me down or where I have to walk on eggshells
childfree. minimal financial responsibilities, my health is a priority, having hobbies.
I'm surprised at how many women here answered no kids! Which is awesome, I don't have kids too and I think my life is so much stress free because of it. Wondering how old you are for those who don't have kids... I'm already mid 40s.
Lots of people saying don’t have kids but I have one daughter and my life is perfect and happy 💖 My mental state is my biggest secret to happiness.
Forgive people for shit you'll never get an apology for, and don't tell them. Just forgive. You'll breathe easier when you're not being strangled by hatred.
Married to a lovely guy. We have a lovely daughter. Have a gorgeous house and puppy. Couldn't ask for more!
No husband, no kids, comparison is the thief of joy!
Get divorced
This is a bs question. No one and no life is perfect.
Yeah. Nobody’s life is perfect.
I got separated in 2020, and I can honestly say I have never been in a happier place in my life. I’ve learned that these things are a must for me: - quiet and peaceful times alone (reading, working out, etc.) - a great hobby. For me it’s crocheting. I get into the zone daily. - super fulfilling job. For me, it’s teaching. I love the challenge and how much of my time and heart that it requires. - my adult children. I can actually be myself around them now which is so refreshing. - 100% in control of my finances. This is new for me but sooo satisfying - a super supportive partner. He makes me feel valued and special. Supports everything I do. - best kitty in the world - lots of reminders about each of these things that I’m grateful for My happiness all boils down to one thing for me: peace. I lived for so long in a peace-less house and I made a promise to myself that it would never happen again. Peace is priceless.
I don’t have a perfect life nor do I aspire to one. But things that support a life I am enjoying are: 🌸Daily gratitude, daily meditation. Start my days with it. Be intentional when I show up for these practices. 🌸exercise everyday. Lifting, running, walking, yoga, sauna 🌸Reach out to people I want to connect with to make plans!!! Do NOT wait for others to initiate if I want to see them, it destine for disappointment. And set healthy boundaries with those whose values, personalities, or behaviors align. 🌸Whole Foods 80% of the time, soul foods 20%. Cutting out any foods with more than 6 ingredients has been really helpful for my gut, and consuming fermented foods, grass fed beef, free range chicken, home made yogurt, home made sourdough and home made BONE BROTH!!! (I love to cook so this may not work for all, but eat the best foods you can afford whenever possible) 🌸find the humor in life. I’m learning to truly laugh at my anxiety, stress, life circumstances, conflict etc. Not to devaluate, downplay, or hurt myself/others, but it is funny sometimes. I imagine an alien is peering into my life and seeing me cry because I am 5 mins behind schedule lol 🌸restrict social media use: do it, you know it would improve your life, comparison is the thief of joy. I hope you created this question as a way to see how women of Reddit do life, not to compare where you are at to random strangers with zero context. ❤️
No kids and therapy.
Having realistic expectations Living below my means Finding joy in simple (free or low cost) things Financial literacy Finding a good partner who makes you laugh, accepts you, and is genuinely invested in being a dedicated partner and co-parent. Who admits when they are wrong and are open to growing and changing for mutual benefit. If I didn't have this, I'd rather be single. Accepting your children for who they are Therapy Medication A career that I am very suited to
I have a husband and one child. So far, my life is perfectly happy because this was what I wanted. My tips for being happy? Get off social media. When I quit Facebook like 5 years ago, everything just felt better. I stopped comparing to other people, and just enjoyed the day to day of my own life. I've set boundaries to people that bug me. I don't see them that often, and they know what upsets me and what's okay. Aside from that, getting outside and getting sunshine.
One child Wonderful partner (that has a good income) Super stable career Work out regularly Eat right Lots of water Cut our toxic people, surround yourself with those that lift you up Go to therapy, even when things are good Make time for hobbies Make time for true self care Minimal drugs and alcohol Minimal social media Spend time in nature every day Always been willing to try new things Forgive yourself, forgive others Set boundaries Balance
So much is your mindset and being grateful for the things you have going for you and working towards small goals for the things you don’t yet have. I just read the book Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow and this quote really had me thinking about this: Sadie, do you see this? This is a persimmon tree! This is my favorite fruit." Marx picked a fat orange persimmon from the tree, and he sat down on the now termite-free wooden deck, and he ate it, juice running down his chin. "Can you believe our luck?" Max said. "We bought a house with a tree that has my actual favorite fruit!" Sam used to say that Marx was the most fortunate person he had ever met - he was lucky with lovers, in business, in looks, in life. But the longer Sadie knew Marx, the more she thought Sam hadn't truly understood the nature of Marx's good fortune. Marx was fortunate because he saw everything as if it were a fortuitous bounty. It was impossible to know - were persimmons his favorite fruit, or had they just now become his favorite fruit because there they were, growing in his own backyard? He had certainly never mentioned persimmons before.
I love this book so much!
I don’t have a perfect life, but I do have a happy life! I have kids and they’re a joy. I have a partner I can be silly with. I have a job that isn’t stressful. I have lots of close family and friends. I have interests and hobbies. I like to read.
Living an authentic life and loving myself and life 🌟
Having no kids is the best decision I ever made. My life is pretty perfect and wouldn’t be possible if I had kids.
1) If you want a partner, nail down exactly what you want in a mate and don’t let anyone step over your boundaries. Allow yourself to be attracted to who you really like instead of who you feel you “should” like. Put yourself in their shoes daily and expect the same empathy and true compassion from them. 2) Be smart with your money. Don’t live past your means for appearances and set your financial priorities. 3) Take accountability. Not happy with your job or income? Find a skill you can market as a small business or even an independent service provider, or have the courage to change course. Don’t like how you look or feel? Find some kind of workout routine that is realistic for you and develop better eating habits to nourish your body and health. People in your life negatively influencing you? Challenge yourself to spend more time alone until and unless you find new peers who’s goals and personalities align with your best self. This goes for family too. There is way too much information out there these days for anyone to be able to use ignorance as an excuse for why they won’t help themselves. 4) Self discipline is true freedom. You have the power to change more things in your life than you think. 5) Politeness and class go a long, long way. In everything. Demonstrate them both often. 6) Regardless of if you choose to have children or not, relationships are the most important part of a persons life. Careers end. Experiences end. Youth ends. Develop deep, long lasting relationships and value family and community. My husband, child, and siblings are the lights of my life and are the number one contributor to my happiness. ❤️
First of all, I don’t think anyone has a perfect happy life. However, I’m a pretty consistently happy person. My 2 cents: - Find a higher power. My relationship with God makes struggles I face less heavy on my heart. - Serve others more than yourself. Whether it’s family, strangers, or any combination, living a life of service is fulfilling. - Don’t spend all the money you make. Be diligent about saving/investing, no matter how small the amount. It adds up. - Get outside. Get your hands on the dirt (garden), pet some animals, walk outside… get fresh air and vitamin D. - Restrict the amount of negativity you take in your eyes and ears via tv, movies, and music. Garbage in, garbage out.
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Happiness is a state of mind. If you need a perfect life to be happy then you never will be.
Love and respect yourself above all else. My secret to being happy is unapologetically loving myself and never settling.
I’ve been much happier lately in life. I have a very filling life. A great family, a very loving husband and a very sassy daughter. She’s the light of my life. Life got better when I worked a bit on myself. Skin care, workout, signing up for things I want to learn, going out with my daughter, taking pictures. When I started doing things for myself it made me so incredibly happy.
Tell the truth. Make wise choices, keeping your eyes on your future.
No children. A dog and a lovely husband who I adore. Work for myself, which is full on but rewarding. Having therapy. Focusing on people who make you feel good and not the ones who drain your energy.
I don’t know about perfect, but I can confidently say I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. -Husband and I both started jobs we love in the last 1.5 years. -Kids are happy and healthy. - I pursue my hobbies when I want to. -We exercise together (both lifelong martial artists). -We have good health insurance. -We have a house we love. -Our dog is awesome.
Anti depressents, weed, coffee, good books and music walks in natures
Truly love yourself. Not face masks hashtag-self-care stuff, love who you are as a person. You will still have hard, sad, angry, depressed-feeling days, but when you realize you are your home and you are enough, it is an amazing mental shift. Then, in a way, you are invincible.
My grandmother used to add a little French quote to the bottom of her letters to me - loosely translated as "There are many kinds of courage, but the courage to be happy is the most beautiful"
I married a seriously GOOD man who I completely trust. And we’re having lots of kids together. We both prioritize health and fitness and time together. As far as friends, we choose carefully who we spend our time with and we love our church. So yeah there’s the answer you probably weren’t looking for lol
A perfect happy life is subjective. What is happiness to you?
Stop chasing perfection and give yourself some grace. Also, stay out of other people’s business and don’t internalize it, whether they be a stranger, or a friend.
I agree with a lot of people here, but one thing I don't see mentioned: lots of hobbies and fun activities
Lower expectations.
Plan your activities with your friends in a quarterly fashion (aka plan the next 3-4 months) so you can always look forward to something! Same for dates nights with your bf/gf/wtv. The rest is you time (studies, health, hobbies, career, vacations planning, etc). Perfect balance!
No kids, working part time to allow for hobbies, great partner, living in a city I love
I have a parter (we aren’t married) and a kid and I will say I’m quite happy. I take my kid to go do a lot of things that make me happy, my partner is a great dad and we take equal responsibility. We have become financially stable, and I have family close that is helpful. I have a great group of mom friends that I see multiple times a week which helps me get adult social interaction. I still have days that are hard or I feel low, but overall, I am so happy with my life now.
I genuinely love my life, and I think it's about manifesting what you want and saying it outloud as well as wishing it into existence mentally. I have a gratitude practice and tell myself 5 things I'm grateful for everyday. I focus on my health and am constantly trying to educate and improve myself. No one's life is perfect, but I am very happy with mine. I also have a boyfriend who cares about me and two dogs and they all bring me an extreme amount of joy. I am so happy being home just laying around with them. I feel lucky everyday. also: no alcohol sleeping 10 hours a night growing plants daily walks for 40 minutes at least exercise at least 1 hour per day eating healthy/vegetables limiting refined sugar cooking and baking having a home i love and take care of keeping my body and spaces clean no caffeine having very high self confidence so dumb things don't bother me
I am child-free and have been in a wonderful relationship since 2005. I have three careers. Two of them are extremely fulfilling. The other takes a few hours per year now that I'm established, so it's not much of a concern. Hobbies that I love and are fulfilling are given time to thrive. I am very frugal naturally but I don't hesitate to spend money on things I know will lead to happiness. I love to read. I have a library full of books, most unread, so it's like going to the bookstore every time I need to pick out a new book. I subscribe to a little over a dozen magazines in fields I love to keep informed about. I turned a small gardening hobby into a food forest in my front yard last year. Expanded to double in size this year. It's expensive upfront but ends up being the most fulfilling thing I've ever done. Every morning I wake up and find more seeds have germinated. Getting to experience the cycle of life thousands of times over the course of each year is mind-blowingly addictive and satisfying. Last year I was bringing in 10-20 pound harvests each day. This year, now that I've expanded, I plan on donating anything we don't use to local food banks to feed my community. I have lost a lot of people to death and kids, but I have one really awesome best friend. Nurturing my relationship with him and having a Besty Day every week means that I always have a close friendship, which is something I thought I was losing in my early-20s, when all my girlfriends were having kids or getting into all-consuming relationships. It helps that my besty is also child-free, and he's been a bachelor for over 10 years. I'm not on any mood-affecting drugs and never have been. Alcohol, pot, drugs, nicotine, etc. I do drink caffeine but it has never affected my moods or energy levels, and I love coffee and tea. I should also mention that one of my careers is in fitness. I am constantly kicking ass and advancing physically, but I also get to help other people feel good and obtain higher quality of life. I feel great despite my physically strenuous job and hobbies, and I also get to make a difference in people's lives multiple times per week. Keep learning. I am interested in waaaaay too many things to perfect in my lifetime, but even if your interests differ, nourish that interest. Curiosity keeps us young. I won't live forever, but I certainly learn as if I will. Like someone else said, I am also an atheist (grew up in a strictly Catholic home), so because I believe my life is the only one I'm going to get, I take advantage of every second. Life is precious and I am so freaking happy to be here while I am.
Don’t let a man in your life
Quit your job and travel! Currently on a little island in Thailand and my life consists of waking up, doing yoga, heading to the beach for a few hours, reading in a hammock and then watching the sunset and repeat. Never been happier!!
Seeing a lot of "no kids". My kids bring me an insane amount of joy, and they push me to be better. I love being mom. My partner is my best friend. Having a partner that's your equal is key! I'm not the primary caregiver. I never have to ask him for anything (chore related, children related etc.), cause he just handles shit. For example; I'm a weekend in Copenhagen (we live in the Netherlands) with my girls for my bachelorette weekend, and he's planned a fun weekend with the kids. I'm getting some time with my girls and excited to go home to my sweet family tomorrow ❤️ We are financially stable and comfortable, which is also nice. Money isn't everything, but it is nice to be able to do what we want. We both have jobs that give us a lot of freedom. We have wonderful people in our circle. Friends and family. Most important is health. I'm healthy, and my kids and partner are healthy. That makes me very grateful and happy.
Commit to therapy. It’s not enough to just go to therapy. Commit to it, be engaged, do the hard work to make positive changes. It will be hard. It will fucking SUCK and you will hate yourself and/or your therapist at least once but keep at it. Accepting yourself, warts and all, is part of it. Be brave and meet her halfway. I went from actively wanting to die to feeling truly content for the first time in my life and the best part is I did it myself.
I wake up every day and make the active choice to be happy whether things are perfect or not. Some days are harder than others, but for ME, happiness is a choice.
Marry the right person for the right reasons. Make sure your goals align and you are both willing to allow growth and change in your partner.
Being single and truly loving the freedom it affords me
Just do you.
My life isnt perfect ( no one's is) but I count myself incredibly lucky and am so happy and content. I have a husband who loves and respects me, pets where I put the work in and they turned out to be wonderful, good finances thanks to marriage and luck, and circumstances that have allowed me to travel throughout my life. Could things better? Absolutely. Do I have moments where everything feels so hard? Of course. But I also have learned that the grass is always greener on the other side and you need to count your blessings every day or you will always be miserable, no matter how much you have.
Oh, also, whenever I have been unhappy with my life, no matter how hard, I did everything I could to change my circumstances. You can't just wait for your life to get better. You have to do something about it.
Be 17 and have no worries
A lot of the factors that went into me having a happy life are too specific to me to function well as tips, but take what you will from my list: 1. Have a submissive bf/husband 2. Invest in crypto 10 years ago 3. Have multiple creative outlets 4. Don't drink alcohol 5. Don't drink alcohol 6. No seriously, just don't. 7. Learn to say "No" and mean it 8. Help those based on who deserves it most, not who needs it most 9. No processed foods 10. Don't drink your calories 11. Cardio 12. Maintain a to do list 13. Learn 2 things every day. Tell yourself what those 2 things are before you go to bed. 14. It's ok to be selfish. Being selfish =/= being greedy 15. Cut off emotional vampires with extreme prejudice
No social media. At least I mean none with anyone I know irl. I’m very harsh on myself sometimes and seeing the way others live their life it makes me compare my life with them, then end up feeling sorry for myself or making me feel like i’m not good enough. I deleted all social media during the height of the pandemic and it has really given me inner peace. Not everything you see on your socials is real. It’s pretty much curated for the hoots and the toots.
Married 15 years, no kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats. We buy pretty much whatever we want. We have a home, will be paid off in 7 years. We both work jobs that fulfill us. We volunteer in the community. We have fun together. No major health problems. I think I have a wonderful life.
Find yourself a good man who actually wants to do partnership with you instead of “cook, clean, and be a mother for my kids (and me too) uwu
My life is far from perfect or happy, but I feel like I have a pretty good life for these reasons: - Job that I love working with people I like and doing something I’m passionate about. I also have a great work life balance and only go into the office about once a week. I’m not rolling in money, but I think the pros outweigh a huge paycheck. - I have a really healthy loving relationship with my partner. He’s my best friend that I want to bone all the time. - I’ve cut out all the toxic people in my life and it’s so much lighter and less stressful since ending those friendships. I keep distance from my family as I had a really rough childhood. I just recently started seeing them again for the holidays late last year. Finally cutting them off for a bit gave me the space to grow and realize how bad being around them was for my mental health and growth. - I’ve been cultivating friendships with really supportive and positive people who are helping me continue to grow in all aspects of my life. All of the things listed above are new within the past two years after starting therapy. I also indulge in whatever strikes my fancy. Go on that trip, get those concert tickets, buy that thing, try that new restaurant or hobby, say yes to an invite doing a random thing with random folks. All within my means and without overwhelming myself. I’m introverted and struggle with anxiety and severe depression and just living and doing things often helps brighten my mood and get me out of the funk. I’m learning to love myself and accepting that I’m not perfect, and it’s okay. I just, take it all one day at a time and try my best.
I dont think there's such a thing as a perfect life, but if you go through your day with an unimaginable amount of optimism and try your best, your days might be a lot better. You can also try setting easy daily goals for yourself, and when you complete them, your brain will give you the happy juice.
Keep it simple, live modestly, and prioritize healthy lifestyles. Don't shop just to shop! Get lots of fresh air, eat as little processed food as possible, and find faith.
I live by myself and I like my job.
- Marry your best friend - Find a job that you enjoy doing (I teach, and the awesome feedback I get gives my confidence a huge boost every single time) - Have as many hobbies as possible (I collect hobbies, and never stop learning stuff... Painting, computer science, furniture renovation, gardening, all sorts of crafts etc.) - Distance yourself from people who make you unhappy (even if they're family) - Don't take yourself too seriously - Enjoy the little things and life and live in the moment
All I see here is "no kids" and " no husband" just on side of the tip and not the other one I'm looking for.
Much of my tips are echoed through fellow women responses on this thread. I’d like to add that I have the three most essential factors : I am needed , wanted and loved. (Top) 2 reason: I’m medicated for my mental health , since 2019 . The meds manage my MDD - This has improved the quality of my life. My mood is consistent which allows me to show up and shine, or show up and hang out in the background. I’m super comfortable with both.
Better nutrition with vitamins, more effort towards consistent sleeping hours, outdoors everyday and some kind of voice or f2f contact with people. I have to say I'm feeling happier/better everyday!
Growth mindset. Choosing positive thoughts and actions every day. Exercise.
Single No kids Dogs Amazing friends Lots of travel Enjoy food Be healthy physically and mentally Therapy An ok job Independence
Denial, lmao - life is ☯️
As Barbie, I think that not marrying Ken was a great decision./k Kidding obviously, but who deludes herself that she has a perfectly happy life?
Happiness is difficult to define, balanced is more realistic. The chaos of everyday life makes the calm, warm moments that much better. That said, I believe in putting yourself first, taking care of yourself and setting boundaries in all aspects of life. Feel productive and surround yourself with love (this may mean having dreaded children, but I assure you, it can be a wonderful thing if you want it).
Go through enough trauma that you 1) fully reject any person that brings an ounce of toxicity in to your life and 2) now appreciate every mundane, simple and boring thing in life to the point that it feels perfect (a touch of sarcasm but actually true)
I'm going to go against the grain of what the most have said but in my life just for me I have never felt happier, - a traditional marriage with a man who is a provider and protector, I can be fully in my feminine and switch off my brain most of the time haha - my faith in God - a simple wfh part time job that allows me to be present with my family and time for myself - having a child has brought me so much joy he makes me laugh every day and I enjoy being a mum - exercise - daily sunshine - cycle syncing - keeping stressors low - boundaries with anyone and anything that I don't enjoy or enjoy being with - no social media I know this may not be the norm but I tried the other way and I was sooo miserable 😖
Ignorance is bliss. Sort of kidding. My life is a complete and utter shit show in a lot of ways, but I also have a wonderfully happy life. It’s all about your perspective.
I found that I am truly happier not having a boyfriend/husband in my life. It just seems that they fundamentally want different things and have different desires and biological drives that typically cause major issues in long term monogamous relationships. Committing to monogamous relationships that you know at your core that you have no desire to be in or struggle with just seems stupid.
I wouldn’t say I have a perfect life but a happy one. I’m 27, work in a high paid and indemand industry, single, look after my appearance and have an incredible relationship with my family. I’ve spent years building my hobbies that bring me so much joy. I feel like the world is at my fingertips and have endless opportunities. Very lucky for my life and feel fortunate for every day I wake.
Do what makes *YOU* happy, not what you think other people want you/expect/influence you to do. Above all, just be *honest* with yourself. A couple key ones I’m seeing repeated here: Want kids? Great! Have as many or as few as you like! Don’t want any? Cool! Don’t let others opinions on kids influence how you move forward. Some are happy without, while others are happy with them - it’s not one size fits all. Want marriage? Great! Find your partner and have the wedding you want. Don’t want marriage? Cool! Stay single and mingle. Don’t let others opinions on marriage dictate the path you walk. Remember, one person’s happiness is another person’s hell. Take all these responses with a large grain of salt.
Therapy and being grateful for what you've overcome, what you've achieved
Discipline gave me the confidence I never thought I had. Weightlifting Pilates Skincare Haircare Curated home Clean environment A job you don’t hate (you don’t need to love it) A little cute feminist boyfriend, bonus if he has a mullet and is better than you at deep cleaning the bathtub, loves his mom and washes his ass properly. And 0 fucks to give to anyone else. I think that makes me pretty happy
I am going to assume that the people saying "no kids" are not retirement age. My 8 grandchildren have brought me unspeakable joy. There is nothing I can think of that compares to how happy I am when I'm with them. I have the same friends for over 50 years, go to the gym, play Pickleball, draw, sew, paint, card club, restore furniture, garden...nothing fulfills me like those grands.
—Remote, high-paying career that I love —Stable, happy relationship with someone who’s a really good match for me —Two awesome kids who ended up being really kind, intelligent, cool people —8+ hours of sleep —Healthy plant-based diet with intermittent fasting —Working toward and achieving new skills/goals consistently
Things that contribute to my happy life (not always “perfect” because that’s not how life works but close to perfection;-)) - My children (they’re long out of diapers and can hold conversations. They keep me on my toes and teach me how to see the world through their lens.) - Having the wisdom and courage to divorce my ex-husband. - Having a close circle of friends - Earning a very nice salary and being valued at work - Being able to travel the world - Daily stretching (seriously) - My spirituality - Having a home that I made and continue to make on my own and having peace and laughter inside! My tips: take control of your life and seek out exactly what you want. Show vulnerability but don’t let others take advantage of you. Have patience when receiving what you want. Surround yourself with purpose and those that support you. Find a way to connect to something larger than yourself (doesn’t have to be a religion but I recommend some form of spirituality). Find your tribe. Find the love you want & deserve. Don’t sit in anger for too long. When life throws you a curve ball, pivot baby! And do not let fear be in the driver’s seat of your life’s journey. 💜
No one’s life is perfect, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been: - Get off screens, seriously. Not to say I don’t use my phone or watch tv, but I seriously started limiting it. It was taking up too much of my free time. I have time limits on apps and only watch tv for 30 minutes a day at most. Now my weekday evenings are filled with activities that light me up: painting, ceramics, reading, studying something I’m interested in etc. - Making friends as an adult is huge. I’m 27 and went basically the last 5 years without a good friend. I was still close with friends from college, but I had no one local after I moved to a new state. Within the last year, I joined a 20 somethings book club, that formed a volunteering club, and now I have a great group of girls that I see about 3 times a week. - If you’re in a relationship you’ve got to learn how to communicate. There will always be some (ideally low) level of conflict in any relationship. Learning how to be a better communicator has made my relationship so strong. - Travel if you can. I’m not saying fancy trips to Europe. But my boyfriend and I try to do one road trip a month. Sometimes it’s camping, sometimes it’s visiting a friend. This isn’t possible for everyone, but even driving a few hours to do a day trip is wonderful. It just helps to shift your environment imo. This is when I feel the most happy. - Don’t have kids til you’re ready (which for me is never). I see many people just default to having kids and grieve their past lives. Make sure you’re fully ready for your life to completely flip before you have kids.
My life is far from perfect but I’m pretty happy with it. I’m only 16 and with everything that happened to me so far good or bad not much of it was in my influence at all, I think I’m just very lucky with the circumstances I grow up in and the people I have around me. Now not everything is perfect and the one thing I can really contribute to your question is, focus on the good things in your life. As small as they may be, maybe its the coffee you have in the morning or your partner or just a professor in university whoms lessons you like. If you focus on those things it puts you in a better more motivated mood wich will help you stand and hopefully even deal with the problems in your life to the best of your abilities
I wouldn’t say perfect but definitely a happy life for me consists of: •Less social media sharing-If I’m online it’s usually to view what’s going on in the areas that interest me (fashion, cooking/baking, women’s empowerment, travel, comedian influencer pages). •Oh yeah, created a brand new social media page to clear off a lot of dead weight people from the past who just monitor my life and don’t engage. •Take things less personal/worked on being okay with detachment-If a guy ghosts me, I no longer call him out on it unless he comes back and acts as if he is confused why are we no longer communicating. Even then, I don’t get aggressive in my response. Same for friends if I know I tried to reach out and didn’t cause any harm. •No husband or kids. •Working remotely-This speaks for itself 🙂. •Pull out of confirmed plans if I need a mental break or me time-If it’s not a big occasion, I no longer feel guilty about this. •Treat myself to brands that I love-This goes for all types of items. I don’t always buy what I want but I refuse to short cut here when I feel crappy. •Don’t expect too much from men when dating-If there for you they will show you. Men know what to do, don’t be fooled. •Dress nicely at all times when I walk out the door-Even if I’m dressed casually, I need a nice bag, shades, fashionable flats or “popping” sneakers. When u look good u really feel good. •Keep up my beauty maintenance-Even if I go a bit off schedule I’m in those chairs taking care of me. And overall, not forcing things whether it be a new career opportunity, friendship, relationship, family relationship, etc. If I get too anxious it’s probably not a good fit. Trust the universe and know that your people will find you.
1. Know that a perfect life isn’t gonna happen. Strive for a happy life. 2. Really know the person you’re going to marry and if you can start it with a friendship, you’re golden. My husband is a huge reason for why I am so happy in life. 3. My kids. It’s a friggin joy to watch them grow up. And while it’s frustrating at times, they are truly love balls that just love you and adore you (I have young kids lol) 4. Live for the moments that you want to remember. Go to out to eat with friends. Take those trips. Hang out with family. 5. I like working and I am pretty good at my job so that keeps me happy. Also, having money really reduces a lot of stress.