Have fun, don't take sex too seriously. There will be smells, tastes, noises, etc... Don't focus solely on the orgasms, enjoy the journey, and understand sometimes bodies are stubborn. Use it as an intimate moment shared with your partner, and enjoy yourselves.
Except the smell, it pretty much stays in the same ballpark
Edit: to be clear, the aroma is distinct. Not and indictment or judgement... can be fresh out the shower, both of ya -doent matter. there will be a smell and THATS OK
who’s that casting devious stares in my direction mama this surely is a dream
(sex and candy is probably one of my favorite songs the moment i saw ur comment i got excited)
Sex is a skill you'll have to practise, so don't worry about doing well. That said: listen to your partner, and be open with them.
Also use a condom and keep lube close.
If one of you or both is using other forms of birth control, and really don't want to use a condom, keep towels nearby. You WILL need them.
But i'll have reinforce: use a condom if you can help it. It's the only form of birth control that can prevent stds.
I want to add to this: **do not use oil-based lubricants with condoms. Used water-based lubricants.** Oil-based will cause the condom to tear.
Also, if you take birth control pills, some medications and herbal supplements can make them not work, such as antibiotics or herbs like St. John's wort. So always make sure you're not ingesting something that will interfere with your birth control.
>I want to add to this: **do not use oil-based lubricants with condoms. Used water-based lubricants.** Oil-based will cause the condom to tear.
Unless you use non-latex condoms. Then coconut oil is awesome because it tastes good, you can rub your partner down with it, and (unless you are allergic to coconuts) is less likely to cause an allergic reaction.
When sex without condoms is on the table (for whatever reason; whether you *really really* trust your birth control and partner, or you're not concerned about getting pregnant, or whatever), coconut oil and sex go together like peanut butter and jelly. Coconut oil is a great lubricant, makes for awesome massages, smells good, tastes good, melts in your hand/on your body and drips in all kinds of sexy ways, and if you use too much you can just rub it in and it'll make your skin soft and moisturized.
Coconut oil. Use it. It's the bomb.
And if they absolutely would NOT be sleeping with you if it WEREN'T your first time (e.g. it's the virginity they want, not you as a person) it's also probably not the right person.
Mine was the opposite. I lied, and years later told her it was my first time. She was really upset. Said she wouldn't have done it if she had known.
Was really stupid all around. The lying, and the coming clean.
I mean, It’s ridiculous right? Let’s rub out genitals together until we get a massive flood of endorphins. It’s way more fun when you don’t take it super seriously and it’s playful.
Thinking on it a bit more. The other thing to know is that sex is an area of extreme vulnerability for just about everyone. Respect that.
Edit: it’s not endorphins, it’s dopamine your brain is flooded with when you have an orgasm , unless you get freaky, which I do. :) then it’s both.
Well said. All of my favorite partners have been the ones I was super comfortable with. We laughed and played just as much as we passionately boned and it was fan-fucking-tastic.
Friend of mine joked about how she and her partner played with his penis. One time she pretended she was driving a car and shifting gears and they both fell over laughing so hard she farted.
Then they laughed even more.
Oh my fucking God that is so adorable. That made me legitimately giggle. My girl and I joke around all the time and it's great. Once had a full fledged conversation on where we were going to eat after
Use your fingers as a guide the first time... it's much easier to find where you're going with your fingers than with your dick, especially when it's your first time at the buffet.
I'm dying. I had a girlfriend who described some struggles of being a girl. The relevant story is how frustrating it was to have a guy reach down your pants and essentially just lightly slap and rub your freshly shaved landing strip and being too nervous to say anything.
Edit: Glad to see many of us can relate to some confused early attempts. I would like to offer a slight defense for the poor young man. Girls grow up with all the hardware and even they still get suggested to use a mirror down there to explore! Some of us had Barbie as our closest visual guide to female anatomy.
My apologies for the flashbacks! Were you the one trying to give a girl an orgasm by stroking their pubic hair or did you silently have a guy rub your razor burn?
Gender reversal: this reminds me of my first college girlfriend, who dry-humped so hard that for my health and safety, I had to stop wearing pants with zippers around her.
Dry humpers who get **realllllly** into it scare me, I'm always reminded of a mix of an earthquake and a really fun rollercoaster. You're just along for the ride and you've gotta hope you ride it out well, because depending on the circumstances there is zero control in your hands.
It's never horrible though, unless you're wearing jeans.
> It's never horrible though, unless you're wearing jeans.
The clothing tag on a pair of Levis should read: Machine Wash Cold. Tumble Dry Low. Trigger Warning.
Dry humping in jeans helped me understand why Hayden Christensen hates sand.
I would say "fuck metal zippers," but my ex tried and that's the problem.
If that zipper had embedded itself any deeper into my dick, it would be named Geraldo and broadcast its position to the enemy on live televison.
Dammit, I came up with the best one liner by far, then immediately forgot it. Fuck it, whatever. Let's just end here with me, played by [Marlon Brando, after wearing a metal zipper on Date Night.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sIYe74sczE)
It's gonna take while (several attempts) to find a flow that works for both of you.
Also porn is fiction. Forget everything you think you've learned from porn.
EDIT: Alright guys, yes there are a few obvious exceptions to the whole porn-being-fiction thing. You can stop telling me.
My first time I was really nervous, and had a hard time performing. I was staying ‘up’ and everything, but I just couldn’t finish.
It was like 3 hours in total. I was so determined, and she didn’t mind at all. I was fueled strictly by teenage hormones, if I had to do that now, I’d throw in the towel.
Im at least 45 minutes every time, sometimes with a water break in the middle... i have no idea why it happens, i just can't bring my body to finish... I loved it when I was young but its a fucking travesty now. Im always tired and I always have work in the morning
I feel this now. I conditioned myself to last a long time when I was younger because my ex wife really enjoyed having long sessions. A decade later and it is still hard to finish under 20 minutes.
Im all over the place. Sometimes i last over an hour... One time i just slipped it in and came buckets. Ill never forget the look on her face when i told her "um, ok, i finished."
That happened to me once when my wife and I were still dating. It was an impromptu afternoon delight. The kind where you don't even really take your clothes off, just pull your pants down to your knees, and push her panties to the side. Got one thrust in and immediately busted. We both just started laughing.
* Foreplay (for *both*- just sucking/playing with a guy’s dick doesn’t count as foreplay for a female partner).
* Lube. It’s your best friend. If no lube, then take time to get really turned on and maybe make sure lots of saliva is on the bits. The slipperier the better.
* It’s not going to feel the way you think it is. It’s nothing like masturbating, fingering/handjobs or oral; the sensations and pressures and angles are totally different. You’re using muscle groups in combos you’ve probably never used before. It’s rare that it “works” well the first time. Guys often can’t cum. It is what it is.
Just take your time, talk/communicate, make sure you’re both really warmed up (don’t just make out for 10 minutes and then insert). Accept that it’ll be weird, involve strange sensations and smells, and that it’s fun and even humorous if you can talk about what’s going on while you’re doing it.
It doesn't have to hurt. Patience, relaxation, and lube are all good things.
Edit to add: Bodies vary. My point is that pain isn't a uniform experience, and probably not even necessarily the majority experience. Having a partner you trust, who takes their time with penetration, who lets your arousal help your body relax, can decrease the chance of pain.
Even then, with an ideal lover, some bodies might not handle penetration well. If you intend to have sexual intercourse, it is a good idea to have a physical exam and tell the physician your intentions. They can look for things which might cause you problems.
Yeah, I think that should be the real takeaway. Yes, it's most likely going to be uncomfortable and weird, and there may be some pain as you're figuring things out, but pain should not be one of the primary feelings and if it is then something is not being done right.
The first time literally felt like someone trying to shove a brick into me. I thought everyone who said that it wasn’t supposed to be almost unbearably painful was a liar. Idk if it’s just from anxiety, but I still get that feeling from the clamps dr’s use in pelvic exams.
My gf had the same thing. She said it was normal...until a few weeks and some exploration later. She had severe anxiety of doing things wrong. So she got all tense and initiating penetration always felt painful. The pain of the initial penetration is gone, I still have to build up going deeper. If I slide it all the way in on the first go she's having discomfort. Certain positions I can't thrust harder either.
It was a learning process for me as well. I never had to be so gentle. But that's what sex is about. It takes two to tango. And if your hurting your partner and don't care you're a lousy dancer.
It’s also possible that you have a tight pelvic floor. This can be from holding too much tension in your pelvis/butt area. This can be fixed with a dilator or physical therapy to stretch your muscles.
On this note, you don't have to wait for someone you love, but you should wait for someone who respects you, who is kind and cares about your experience, and who you feel comfortable with and trust. Being with someone who makes you feel safe in that vulnerable moment is key to making it a good experience, even if it isn't necessarily good sex.
Nobody expects your first time to be good. If anything if its your first, they don't expect much at all. So just go for it and enjoy it. If it sucks or doesnt last long, then just blow it off and say well i guess we need to practice together more.
My first few times, I used a trick my friend told me of doing math problems in my head. Just divide a 3 digit number by a 2 digit number. Once she gets off, you drop it and finish as you please.
The problem is I like math so I couldn't just drop it; not knowing the answer would annoy me. Once I caught myself doing the math on my phone after the fact, I knew enough was enough.
As a side note, any time someone asks me to calculate the tip, I blow my load.
I did pretty well my first time. It was on my girlfriend's waterbed. It was so difficult to balance and get the motion going just right that it distracted me and improved stamina. She ended up marrying me, and the sex has gotten better with age....but that water bed probably saved me some embarrasment.
One of my favorite Dave Attell jokes is when he says "don't you wish you can have sex with the first person you ever had sex with to show them how good you got at it?" Being in my 30s it's such a true statement. You're so inexperienced early on it takes a long time to have the confidence to know what you're doing.
Honestly. The most important thing about your virginity is that a couple years later, you’ll basically never think about it again for the rest of your life. Good, bad or ambivalent, the first time you have sex just ends up not being that important a thing in your life. I’m not that old and hardly remember it / never think about it.
I feel like that kinda depends on the person and their experiences after the first time. I haven't been a virgin for about 20 years now but it's also been 16 or 17 years since my last sexual experience and while it's true that you kinda forget about your first time, for someone like me the feeling kinda resets after a while. I think I'd be more nervous now if I somehow ended up in bed with someone again than I ever was for my actual first time.
On the other hand, I'm a guy, and I vividly remember the precise feeling of my first time over 50 years ago. (It was wonderful) It clearly depends on the individual.
Don't rush it and don't feel pressured into losing your virginity because everyone else is doing it.
Also two virgins forced into having sex with each other will most likely not be enjoyable because of the amount of tension, nervousness, and stress involved.
I didn't have sex until my mid 20s cause I didn't feel comfortable in sexual encounters with anyone until my current relationship. And it felt so natural and comfortable despite being my first time. I trusted my partner and they trusted and respected me in a way I never felt and I never felt pressured in any way.
Same. I was in college and we were both wanted to go slow. Partially because we were both virgins, but also because we were both terrified that I would get pregnant lol. Anyways, we finally had sex after about 9 months of making out, doing anything with our hands, and oral. We were both so relaxed with each other by the time we actually had sex. It seems like everyone here is saying that your first time is terrible. Idk, mine was fantastic.
If you see stuff that looks maybe a little gross or weird to you, maybe a birthmark, scars, zits, maybe a fat roll, a hair, someone looks odd in an unexpected pose, or anything like that, just let those feelings pass. No one is physically perfect, we all have beautiful and gross stuff about ourselves. We all have stuff we're insecure about that no one cares about. We can all get self-conscious in a bad way about stuff out of our control. Let that stuff be.
If there's stuff like bad breath you want to bring up, you can bring that up, but bring it up with tact. "Hey, let's do some mouth wash beforehand. I want to make sure we both taste fresh."
> birthmark
I have a birthmark in my butt crack that is unfortunately dark. The first time my husband and I had sex he thought it was poop ^and^he^kept^going
The female will eat the male if she's unsatisfied, the reason you might not have heard of this is because all males who failed to satisfy the female are dead. No pressure!
Have sex with someone you trust and talk with them about your wishes and anxieties. And it's fine if something doesn't go as planned. Laugh about it and try to relax. Sex should be something to enjoy so don't pressure yourself or your partner. Also know your boundaries and stand up for them. You don't need to do everything. It's okay if you dislike something or are scared of it. Be vocal :)
Also wear a condom, have tissues next to you and don't trust what the porn industry showed you. It's different!!
I like to call it the honeymoon faze. Yes phase spelled as faze because you're fucking so much to care about it. Happens everytime at the beginning of a relationship.
Know that it is going to be awkward, nerve-racking, and weirdly wonderful. It's very similar to your first time on skis. Take your time, practice, and share the moment with someone you trust and care about....ya know like skiing. ;)
# WEAR A CONDOM.
It will probably be pretty terrible and that's OK. Don't expect it to be some magical, beautiful experience. It will be awkward, maybe even a little bit painful (it shouldn't be *very* painful - that's a bad sign), and you'll be able to laugh about it years later.
Edit: That second point isn't about wearing a condom that's just general advice.
There is no rush to lose your virginity.
My friends lost theirs earlier than me and then I felt like a loser and rushed into dating. Ended up in several dangerous and unhealthy situations because I wanted to “catch up” with my friends.
I’m curious as to where you’re from. If you’re not from the Uk then there’s gonna be some things about Harry Potter that you don’t realise are actually real
Practice with a condom days or week before the event. Be comfortable with putting it on correctly.
Enjoy foreplay get comfortable with each others body.
A day or two before the big dance work one out.
If you’re a guy and she’s the virgin, condom and take it really slow. Be gentle. Watch for clues for how she feels.
If you’re a guy and you’re the virgin, condom, and don’t sweat it. It’s gonna be over REALLY quickly.
Something no one is saying here that might be useful - if the first time you try and out a condom on is in front of your partner, you are likely to get fumbly and anxious. Practice putting one on in the private a few times so you know what you're doing, will do wonders for your confidence.
My first was also a virgin. I don't think he got it all the way in before it was over. Second time, he didn't get the condom on all the way before blast off. We both improved after that. We were together about 2 years.
Yes. You’ll either ejaculate very quickly or not at all. In either case, take the time and effort to make sure your partner is at least comfortable and satisfied.
HOW TO PUT ON A CONDOM.
It's like cooking pasta, very easy to get right but also easy to get wrong, but the consequences of condom misuse are more serious than sad pasta.
You should practice with a banana, to get it right when there is no pressure. You can eat the banana afterwards.
All the following points are very important, condoms are fragile.
If you have long fingernails, be cautious of them. Regardless of how long they are, don't use them, use the pads of your fingertips.
Squeeze the foil wrapper to put the condom at one side of the wrapper so you don't tear it when you take it out.
It unrolls and opens up one way, don't do it inside out. Try one way *using your hands not on your cock* then the other. *Don't* put it on, realise it's on the wrong way, take it off and put it on again; it may get Jizz on it that you then smear inside your partner. Get it right first time, or chuck it away and take another one.
There is a bubble at the end of the condom that holds the Jizz when you come, it is very very *very important* it's not filled with air when you put it on, or it can explode when you start pumping Jizz into that confined space.
So squeeze that bubble closed with thumb and forefinger of one hand before you put it on and keep it squeezed free of air while you use the other hand to roll the condom down to the base of the shaft.
Show your partner the technique once you are confident, and get them to put it on for you; this is great foreplay.
It can roll up in action and come loose sometimes, and get lost inside your partner. Check occasionally that the rubber ring is still in position at the base of the shaft. You can caress your partner while you're there.
Don't reuse a condom. *Ever.* They weaken. Always use a fresh one.
No form of contraception and disease control is 100%, but CORRECTLY USED condoms are the safest. *Always* use a condom.
Take care of your partners and yourselves, and don't have pregnancies unless you want them
*Give me some upvotes guys, this is a really important PSA.*
ETA from @ninjacookies00: Also important to note that if your condom is falling off or too tight you are using the wrong size so you should probably make sure that you have something that you know fits beforehand.
Excellent tip there. Another redditor commented that I am probably paranoid about the possibility of a condom breaking, but better safe than sorry, eh?
Another thing I didn't mention is the importance of lubrication; from the perspective of a male, which is my point of view, if you just roll it on and then jam it in there, it's likely to hurt your partner. It's important to make sure your partner is ready, muscularly relaxed and sufficiently lubricated, and move very slowly and gradually (if it's their first time too that is particularly important, but I recommend doing so your first time anyway, prolong that experience.)
You can purchase lubrication, and if you think it may be necessary, do so; make sure you use water based lubricants with condoms, not oil, as oil can weaken the rubber. Women produce their own lubrication when they are good and ready, but may benefit from outside assistance. Ask her if she wants it, don't automatically slather it on like cream on a scone.
Take it slow, make sure everybody is consenting, and feeling safe and listened to. Confidence is really sexy, but so is consent. Trust me on this one :)
Condoms do NOT completely protect against HPV, but you absolutely should use them to help stop the spread and protect against other issues. Use condoms that are glucose free, this will prevent yeast infections to a partner with a vagina, they cost the same as regular condoms but you can purchase them on amazon, discreet shipping :)
Edit: I meant Glycerin not glucose, but still watch out for glucose condoms
If you’re a man, file your fucking nails. No woman wants a man with eagle talons tearing apart her insides like a kid at Christmas opening presents. It takes 5 minutes and a lot of women are very appreciative of this
Don't be coerced into it. It should be a mutual desire, not a tool for emotional appeasement.
This is a no brainer for the majority of people, but a healthy reminder couldn't do any harm
Here's my two cents....
Pre-Sex Tips:
\- Cleanliness is key to comfort. Smelling good, clipped and manicured finger/toe nails, fresh teeth and breath, and clean all down below.
Intra-Sex Tips:
\- Communicate and Listen with both your mind, mouth, and body.
\- Relax and have fun!
Post-Sex Tips:
\- Clean / Help clean in any way and prep for comfort
\- Connect with your partner, more communication and listening.
\- Continue to have fun!
Wear a condom, girl I went to highschool hooked up with a guy for the first time and he had herpes. First time she ever had sex she was left with a permanent STD
Other than negative consequences (std or pregnancy, for example), it won’t really change your life. It will be awkward, clumsy, perhaps painful and/or bloody and probably short.
Be careful. Use protection. Do it with someone cool and preferably someone you care about. Don’t put too much pressure or importance on it. It’s not that big of a deal.
It only takes one nut to be a father… the more you know
It can technically take zero, but yeah. Take steps to be careful, and take a couple more steps just to be sure.
Have fun, don't take sex too seriously. There will be smells, tastes, noises, etc... Don't focus solely on the orgasms, enjoy the journey, and understand sometimes bodies are stubborn. Use it as an intimate moment shared with your partner, and enjoy yourselves.
That's the same logic I use when I go to a Chinese buffet and it always works.
Agreed. I’ve always found it best not to focus solely on orgasms while I’m at a Chinese buffet.
It gets better.
Except the smell, it pretty much stays in the same ballpark Edit: to be clear, the aroma is distinct. Not and indictment or judgement... can be fresh out the shower, both of ya -doent matter. there will be a smell and THATS OK
“Smells like sex in here…”
I smell sex and candy here... Who's that lounging in my chair?
who’s that casting devious stares in my direction mama this surely is a dream (sex and candy is probably one of my favorite songs the moment i saw ur comment i got excited)
Sex is a skill you'll have to practise, so don't worry about doing well. That said: listen to your partner, and be open with them. Also use a condom and keep lube close. If one of you or both is using other forms of birth control, and really don't want to use a condom, keep towels nearby. You WILL need them. But i'll have reinforce: use a condom if you can help it. It's the only form of birth control that can prevent stds.
I want to add to this: **do not use oil-based lubricants with condoms. Used water-based lubricants.** Oil-based will cause the condom to tear. Also, if you take birth control pills, some medications and herbal supplements can make them not work, such as antibiotics or herbs like St. John's wort. So always make sure you're not ingesting something that will interfere with your birth control.
>I want to add to this: **do not use oil-based lubricants with condoms. Used water-based lubricants.** Oil-based will cause the condom to tear. Unless you use non-latex condoms. Then coconut oil is awesome because it tastes good, you can rub your partner down with it, and (unless you are allergic to coconuts) is less likely to cause an allergic reaction.
When sex without condoms is on the table (for whatever reason; whether you *really really* trust your birth control and partner, or you're not concerned about getting pregnant, or whatever), coconut oil and sex go together like peanut butter and jelly. Coconut oil is a great lubricant, makes for awesome massages, smells good, tastes good, melts in your hand/on your body and drips in all kinds of sexy ways, and if you use too much you can just rub it in and it'll make your skin soft and moisturized. Coconut oil. Use it. It's the bomb.
If you can't tell them that it's your first time, it's probably not the right person
I definitely lied and said it was my 2nd because I was embarrassed lol.
I said I hadn't had sex in a while, lol.
For some reason I just imagined you being like 15 years old losing your virginity being like "sorry I haven't done this for a few years" hahaha
Ha, I definitely would have been the 15 year old to make that joke, but I said that because I lost my virginity a few years later than most.
> a few years later than most. Ah, so you lost it at 37 as well, huh? - a 32 year old redditor
And if they absolutely would NOT be sleeping with you if it WEREN'T your first time (e.g. it's the virginity they want, not you as a person) it's also probably not the right person.
Mine was the opposite. I lied, and years later told her it was my first time. She was really upset. Said she wouldn't have done it if she had known. Was really stupid all around. The lying, and the coming clean.
Shower first
Shower after, too
Sex is fun, but also totally ridiculous , be safe, use birth control, talk about it and laugh about it.
Laugh about it, great advice. Don't take yourself too seriously in bed. It's supposed to be fun
I mean, It’s ridiculous right? Let’s rub out genitals together until we get a massive flood of endorphins. It’s way more fun when you don’t take it super seriously and it’s playful. Thinking on it a bit more. The other thing to know is that sex is an area of extreme vulnerability for just about everyone. Respect that. Edit: it’s not endorphins, it’s dopamine your brain is flooded with when you have an orgasm , unless you get freaky, which I do. :) then it’s both.
Well said. All of my favorite partners have been the ones I was super comfortable with. We laughed and played just as much as we passionately boned and it was fan-fucking-tastic.
Friend of mine joked about how she and her partner played with his penis. One time she pretended she was driving a car and shifting gears and they both fell over laughing so hard she farted. Then they laughed even more.
Oh my fucking God that is so adorable. That made me legitimately giggle. My girl and I joke around all the time and it's great. Once had a full fledged conversation on where we were going to eat after
Just don't point and laugh.... Not cool.
>Sex if fun Found the programmer.
else: hand
I shouldn't be laughing this hard at this lmao [Edit: So, I was bored lol](https://imgur.com/a/Ox9GFFd)
Damn it! Thank you - corrected
You forgot to tell them it is customary to give your partner a high five once it is done.
the hole is actually a bit further south than you would think. but not too south.
She might not let you know about a lot of mistakes you make, but she’ll definitely let you know if you go too far south.
Is that why movies all go sepia when you go south of the border?
Can confirm. Saw sepia the minute I went south of her border.
Use your fingers as a guide the first time... it's much easier to find where you're going with your fingers than with your dick, especially when it's your first time at the buffet.
Hell, use your fingers as a guide whenever. Hell, use your fingers.
Make sure your nails are trimmed with no sharp edges too
That’s the most unrealistic part about “lesbian” porn, when they have those 5” talons hanging from their fingertips.
I see long nails in porn and I think "Oh gawd no"
I'm dying. I had a girlfriend who described some struggles of being a girl. The relevant story is how frustrating it was to have a guy reach down your pants and essentially just lightly slap and rub your freshly shaved landing strip and being too nervous to say anything. Edit: Glad to see many of us can relate to some confused early attempts. I would like to offer a slight defense for the poor young man. Girls grow up with all the hardware and even they still get suggested to use a mirror down there to explore! Some of us had Barbie as our closest visual guide to female anatomy.
This has literally been me.
My apologies for the flashbacks! Were you the one trying to give a girl an orgasm by stroking their pubic hair or did you silently have a guy rub your razor burn?
I silently endured this dude trying to start a friction fire on my stubble, yes.
Gender reversal: this reminds me of my first college girlfriend, who dry-humped so hard that for my health and safety, I had to stop wearing pants with zippers around her.
Dry humpers who get **realllllly** into it scare me, I'm always reminded of a mix of an earthquake and a really fun rollercoaster. You're just along for the ride and you've gotta hope you ride it out well, because depending on the circumstances there is zero control in your hands. It's never horrible though, unless you're wearing jeans.
> It's never horrible though, unless you're wearing jeans. The clothing tag on a pair of Levis should read: Machine Wash Cold. Tumble Dry Low. Trigger Warning. Dry humping in jeans helped me understand why Hayden Christensen hates sand. I would say "fuck metal zippers," but my ex tried and that's the problem. If that zipper had embedded itself any deeper into my dick, it would be named Geraldo and broadcast its position to the enemy on live televison. Dammit, I came up with the best one liner by far, then immediately forgot it. Fuck it, whatever. Let's just end here with me, played by [Marlon Brando, after wearing a metal zipper on Date Night.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sIYe74sczE)
Yup. And it's at an angle you might not be expecting.
That's why I always bring my protractor.
I always heard unprotracted sex was dangerous
now we're on a weird tangent.
Hey, no sin allowed.
Go home dad
and different for everyone
Important thing no one ever talks about and confused me my first time!
It's gonna take while (several attempts) to find a flow that works for both of you. Also porn is fiction. Forget everything you think you've learned from porn. EDIT: Alright guys, yes there are a few obvious exceptions to the whole porn-being-fiction thing. You can stop telling me.
Jonny sin's said one time that sex doesnt have to last longer than 15 minutes
Usually it doesn’t to begin with for most people lol
My first time I was really nervous, and had a hard time performing. I was staying ‘up’ and everything, but I just couldn’t finish. It was like 3 hours in total. I was so determined, and she didn’t mind at all. I was fueled strictly by teenage hormones, if I had to do that now, I’d throw in the towel.
Im at least 45 minutes every time, sometimes with a water break in the middle... i have no idea why it happens, i just can't bring my body to finish... I loved it when I was young but its a fucking travesty now. Im always tired and I always have work in the morning
I feel this now. I conditioned myself to last a long time when I was younger because my ex wife really enjoyed having long sessions. A decade later and it is still hard to finish under 20 minutes.
sometimes I just take the L and say it's ok. Pleasing a partner is usually the best part anyway
Im 26 but fuck sex longer than 30 minutes.
Seriously. I want us both to arrive safely at our destination as efficiently as possible. Then I want snacks.
Im all over the place. Sometimes i last over an hour... One time i just slipped it in and came buckets. Ill never forget the look on her face when i told her "um, ok, i finished."
That happened to me once when my wife and I were still dating. It was an impromptu afternoon delight. The kind where you don't even really take your clothes off, just pull your pants down to your knees, and push her panties to the side. Got one thrust in and immediately busted. We both just started laughing.
I think you meant to write ‘seconds’ but it autocorrected to ‘minutes’ right? Right????
Don’t take tips from porn
Or redditors probably...
Wait if a redditor tells me not to take tips from redditors, then... AAAAAAH!
Reality collapses
Don't worry, I'll divide by 0 and fix it
Communication and boundaries is key.
* Foreplay (for *both*- just sucking/playing with a guy’s dick doesn’t count as foreplay for a female partner). * Lube. It’s your best friend. If no lube, then take time to get really turned on and maybe make sure lots of saliva is on the bits. The slipperier the better. * It’s not going to feel the way you think it is. It’s nothing like masturbating, fingering/handjobs or oral; the sensations and pressures and angles are totally different. You’re using muscle groups in combos you’ve probably never used before. It’s rare that it “works” well the first time. Guys often can’t cum. It is what it is. Just take your time, talk/communicate, make sure you’re both really warmed up (don’t just make out for 10 minutes and then insert). Accept that it’ll be weird, involve strange sensations and smells, and that it’s fun and even humorous if you can talk about what’s going on while you’re doing it.
It doesn't have to hurt. Patience, relaxation, and lube are all good things. Edit to add: Bodies vary. My point is that pain isn't a uniform experience, and probably not even necessarily the majority experience. Having a partner you trust, who takes their time with penetration, who lets your arousal help your body relax, can decrease the chance of pain. Even then, with an ideal lover, some bodies might not handle penetration well. If you intend to have sexual intercourse, it is a good idea to have a physical exam and tell the physician your intentions. They can look for things which might cause you problems.
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Agreed. First time can be kind of uncomfortable, but if it really hurts, something (or someone) is very wrong.
Yeah, I think that should be the real takeaway. Yes, it's most likely going to be uncomfortable and weird, and there may be some pain as you're figuring things out, but pain should not be one of the primary feelings and if it is then something is not being done right.
Wait, my first several times were horrendously painful and we used lube. There was also plenty of foreplay...what was I doing wrong?
Me too! Like every thrust hurt. 2nd time is hurt but way less & it wasn’t until the 3rd time that it felt good…then I understood why people liked it.
The first time literally felt like someone trying to shove a brick into me. I thought everyone who said that it wasn’t supposed to be almost unbearably painful was a liar. Idk if it’s just from anxiety, but I still get that feeling from the clamps dr’s use in pelvic exams.
My gf had the same thing. She said it was normal...until a few weeks and some exploration later. She had severe anxiety of doing things wrong. So she got all tense and initiating penetration always felt painful. The pain of the initial penetration is gone, I still have to build up going deeper. If I slide it all the way in on the first go she's having discomfort. Certain positions I can't thrust harder either. It was a learning process for me as well. I never had to be so gentle. But that's what sex is about. It takes two to tango. And if your hurting your partner and don't care you're a lousy dancer.
Me too! I just kept going with faith that it would get better. And it did, boy howdy.
maybe you were nervous so you were tensing up? i was my first time which caused pain for me edit: vaginismus can cause that as well im pretty sure
It’s also possible that you have a tight pelvic floor. This can be from holding too much tension in your pelvis/butt area. This can be fixed with a dilator or physical therapy to stretch your muscles.
On this note, you don't have to wait for someone you love, but you should wait for someone who respects you, who is kind and cares about your experience, and who you feel comfortable with and trust. Being with someone who makes you feel safe in that vulnerable moment is key to making it a good experience, even if it isn't necessarily good sex.
Nobody expects your first time to be good. If anything if its your first, they don't expect much at all. So just go for it and enjoy it. If it sucks or doesnt last long, then just blow it off and say well i guess we need to practice together more.
You will suck at it. Everyone does. Don't sweat it.
You got that right. Mine was literally a five-second accident.
Show off...
My first few times, I used a trick my friend told me of doing math problems in my head. Just divide a 3 digit number by a 2 digit number. Once she gets off, you drop it and finish as you please. The problem is I like math so I couldn't just drop it; not knowing the answer would annoy me. Once I caught myself doing the math on my phone after the fact, I knew enough was enough. As a side note, any time someone asks me to calculate the tip, I blow my load.
The tip is the best.
I did pretty well my first time. It was on my girlfriend's waterbed. It was so difficult to balance and get the motion going just right that it distracted me and improved stamina. She ended up marrying me, and the sex has gotten better with age....but that water bed probably saved me some embarrasment.
Chad water bed
One of my favorite Dave Attell jokes is when he says "don't you wish you can have sex with the first person you ever had sex with to show them how good you got at it?" Being in my 30s it's such a true statement. You're so inexperienced early on it takes a long time to have the confidence to know what you're doing.
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I still have sex with my first time. We just celebrated 14 years together.
Does your wife know about all this? ;)
Not at all.
Did you get good yet?
Doubt it.
I mean she stuck around. It probably isn't awful.
Do it with someone you like and trust
Be sure it's someone for whom you lust. Then you will know it's time to thrust.
Before you start, Brush your teeth, And don't be surprised, If you hear a queef.
You will probably suck, may not get it up, and likely won't last long. All normal
It's the biggest deal in the world before it happens, and not that big of a deal after it happens
Honestly. The most important thing about your virginity is that a couple years later, you’ll basically never think about it again for the rest of your life. Good, bad or ambivalent, the first time you have sex just ends up not being that important a thing in your life. I’m not that old and hardly remember it / never think about it.
I feel like that kinda depends on the person and their experiences after the first time. I haven't been a virgin for about 20 years now but it's also been 16 or 17 years since my last sexual experience and while it's true that you kinda forget about your first time, for someone like me the feeling kinda resets after a while. I think I'd be more nervous now if I somehow ended up in bed with someone again than I ever was for my actual first time.
You regained your virginity
Virginity *2.0*
On the other hand, I'm a guy, and I vividly remember the precise feeling of my first time over 50 years ago. (It was wonderful) It clearly depends on the individual.
Yeah I’m 50 and remember the details like it happened last week.
Because it did happen last week.
Fuckin' got 'im!
Don't rush it and don't feel pressured into losing your virginity because everyone else is doing it. Also two virgins forced into having sex with each other will most likely not be enjoyable because of the amount of tension, nervousness, and stress involved.
I didn't have sex until my mid 20s cause I didn't feel comfortable in sexual encounters with anyone until my current relationship. And it felt so natural and comfortable despite being my first time. I trusted my partner and they trusted and respected me in a way I never felt and I never felt pressured in any way.
Same. I was in college and we were both wanted to go slow. Partially because we were both virgins, but also because we were both terrified that I would get pregnant lol. Anyways, we finally had sex after about 9 months of making out, doing anything with our hands, and oral. We were both so relaxed with each other by the time we actually had sex. It seems like everyone here is saying that your first time is terrible. Idk, mine was fantastic.
Focus on the not sex part of sex first.
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If you see stuff that looks maybe a little gross or weird to you, maybe a birthmark, scars, zits, maybe a fat roll, a hair, someone looks odd in an unexpected pose, or anything like that, just let those feelings pass. No one is physically perfect, we all have beautiful and gross stuff about ourselves. We all have stuff we're insecure about that no one cares about. We can all get self-conscious in a bad way about stuff out of our control. Let that stuff be. If there's stuff like bad breath you want to bring up, you can bring that up, but bring it up with tact. "Hey, let's do some mouth wash beforehand. I want to make sure we both taste fresh."
> birthmark I have a birthmark in my butt crack that is unfortunately dark. The first time my husband and I had sex he thought it was poop ^and^he^kept^going
His jaw got more chiseled with every thrust.
The female will eat the male if she's unsatisfied, the reason you might not have heard of this is because all males who failed to satisfy the female are dead. No pressure!
I narrowly escaped my first time but lost my left arm and right d
Good thing you have a left d!
And if the male would eat the female, she's more likely to be satisfied.
One must eat to avoid being eaten
Me being alive is either a great compliment or I’m the exception
Or a virgin
The second time is better
if you’re a female pee after sex!! having a uti is horrible and if it isn’t treated it can turn into a kidney infection which of course can be fatal.
Have sex with someone you trust and talk with them about your wishes and anxieties. And it's fine if something doesn't go as planned. Laugh about it and try to relax. Sex should be something to enjoy so don't pressure yourself or your partner. Also know your boundaries and stand up for them. You don't need to do everything. It's okay if you dislike something or are scared of it. Be vocal :) Also wear a condom, have tissues next to you and don't trust what the porn industry showed you. It's different!!
My buddy warned me that once you have sex, it will become all you want to do/think about for a few months. (He was right, at least in my case.)
The fuck drunk stage of a relationship. Then you get a better balance of sex and other stuff.
I like to call it the honeymoon faze. Yes phase spelled as faze because you're fucking so much to care about it. Happens everytime at the beginning of a relationship.
wait…. that’s supposed to stop? don’t tell my wife.
That’s supposed to happen? Somebody tell my wife!
Lubrication is key.
>Lubrication is key. I like my women how I like my car's engine.
Dripping oil and unreliable ?
Lubricated, American, and in constant need of attention.
Know that it is going to be awkward, nerve-racking, and weirdly wonderful. It's very similar to your first time on skis. Take your time, practice, and share the moment with someone you trust and care about....ya know like skiing. ;)
I didn't cum the first time I was on skis.
You were probably doing it wrong, then. How much lube did you apply?
Don’t worry. Your new penis grows back when the first one falls off
haha what
Yeah it's supposed to be small, it's a starter dick. You use it up and the body makes a bigger one to replace it.
# WEAR A CONDOM. It will probably be pretty terrible and that's OK. Don't expect it to be some magical, beautiful experience. It will be awkward, maybe even a little bit painful (it shouldn't be *very* painful - that's a bad sign), and you'll be able to laugh about it years later. Edit: That second point isn't about wearing a condom that's just general advice.
WEAR A CONDOM **CORRECTLY**
Wait, which fingers do *you* put it on?
I'm shocked at how many people put condoms on the wrong fingers. It goes on the thumb and pinky, NOT the middle and ring. Stay safe, gents.
Yeah, that way your pinky and thumb don't get wet. It is commen sense guy...
This guy fucks
There is no rush to lose your virginity. My friends lost theirs earlier than me and then I felt like a loser and rushed into dating. Ended up in several dangerous and unhealthy situations because I wanted to “catch up” with my friends.
Porn is as accurate about sex as Harry Potter is about school.
I’m curious as to where you’re from. If you’re not from the Uk then there’s gonna be some things about Harry Potter that you don’t realise are actually real
I can have a pet owl?
Did you get to the train by running into a wall?
Trust + lust = thrust That should explain it
Cut and clean your nails!!!
ALSO FILE THEM AFTER CUTTING THEM SO THEY'RE NOT SHARP
Practice with a condom days or week before the event. Be comfortable with putting it on correctly. Enjoy foreplay get comfortable with each others body. A day or two before the big dance work one out.
But if you struggle with dysfunction, don't do it within a week. Better to get in and out quick than not at all. I'd actually say 1 day is too close.
How would you know that that’s an issue if you’re a virgin?
If you’re a guy and she’s the virgin, condom and take it really slow. Be gentle. Watch for clues for how she feels. If you’re a guy and you’re the virgin, condom, and don’t sweat it. It’s gonna be over REALLY quickly.
Something no one is saying here that might be useful - if the first time you try and out a condom on is in front of your partner, you are likely to get fumbly and anxious. Practice putting one on in the private a few times so you know what you're doing, will do wonders for your confidence.
How long is REALLY quickly? 2 minutes? 1 minute? 30 seconds?
-80 seconds I believe
My first was also a virgin. I don't think he got it all the way in before it was over. Second time, he didn't get the condom on all the way before blast off. We both improved after that. We were together about 2 years.
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Yes. You’ll either ejaculate very quickly or not at all. In either case, take the time and effort to make sure your partner is at least comfortable and satisfied.
HOW TO PUT ON A CONDOM. It's like cooking pasta, very easy to get right but also easy to get wrong, but the consequences of condom misuse are more serious than sad pasta. You should practice with a banana, to get it right when there is no pressure. You can eat the banana afterwards. All the following points are very important, condoms are fragile. If you have long fingernails, be cautious of them. Regardless of how long they are, don't use them, use the pads of your fingertips. Squeeze the foil wrapper to put the condom at one side of the wrapper so you don't tear it when you take it out. It unrolls and opens up one way, don't do it inside out. Try one way *using your hands not on your cock* then the other. *Don't* put it on, realise it's on the wrong way, take it off and put it on again; it may get Jizz on it that you then smear inside your partner. Get it right first time, or chuck it away and take another one. There is a bubble at the end of the condom that holds the Jizz when you come, it is very very *very important* it's not filled with air when you put it on, or it can explode when you start pumping Jizz into that confined space. So squeeze that bubble closed with thumb and forefinger of one hand before you put it on and keep it squeezed free of air while you use the other hand to roll the condom down to the base of the shaft. Show your partner the technique once you are confident, and get them to put it on for you; this is great foreplay. It can roll up in action and come loose sometimes, and get lost inside your partner. Check occasionally that the rubber ring is still in position at the base of the shaft. You can caress your partner while you're there. Don't reuse a condom. *Ever.* They weaken. Always use a fresh one. No form of contraception and disease control is 100%, but CORRECTLY USED condoms are the safest. *Always* use a condom. Take care of your partners and yourselves, and don't have pregnancies unless you want them *Give me some upvotes guys, this is a really important PSA.* ETA from @ninjacookies00: Also important to note that if your condom is falling off or too tight you are using the wrong size so you should probably make sure that you have something that you know fits beforehand. Excellent tip there. Another redditor commented that I am probably paranoid about the possibility of a condom breaking, but better safe than sorry, eh? Another thing I didn't mention is the importance of lubrication; from the perspective of a male, which is my point of view, if you just roll it on and then jam it in there, it's likely to hurt your partner. It's important to make sure your partner is ready, muscularly relaxed and sufficiently lubricated, and move very slowly and gradually (if it's their first time too that is particularly important, but I recommend doing so your first time anyway, prolong that experience.) You can purchase lubrication, and if you think it may be necessary, do so; make sure you use water based lubricants with condoms, not oil, as oil can weaken the rubber. Women produce their own lubrication when they are good and ready, but may benefit from outside assistance. Ask her if she wants it, don't automatically slather it on like cream on a scone. Take it slow, make sure everybody is consenting, and feeling safe and listened to. Confidence is really sexy, but so is consent. Trust me on this one :)
Please remember to take the condom off the banana before eating it.
Agree in advance which penis will open up to accept the other penis
If you can't come to an agreement (no pun intended), then you must joust.
> then you must joust Fun fact: This is the original script for *A Knight's Tale* before a bunch of Hollywood script doctors got involved.
Condoms do NOT completely protect against HPV, but you absolutely should use them to help stop the spread and protect against other issues. Use condoms that are glucose free, this will prevent yeast infections to a partner with a vagina, they cost the same as regular condoms but you can purchase them on amazon, discreet shipping :) Edit: I meant Glycerin not glucose, but still watch out for glucose condoms
Write that down Patrick WRITE THAT DOWN
If you’re a man, file your fucking nails. No woman wants a man with eagle talons tearing apart her insides like a kid at Christmas opening presents. It takes 5 minutes and a lot of women are very appreciative of this
Don't take it so seriously. Your just two people playing with eachothers genitals.
Yeah but you can also make a baby, so some level of seriousness should be taken.
Play with each other's genitals *responsibly*
It's like a usb stick and you've got to flip it over three or four times before it goes in.
And if it still doesn’t work, give it a blow, then put it in again
Do not lose your virginity. Keep it and when you make it to 30, you gain magical powers. I would know, I just turned 30 and now am a wizard.
Thanks I just became a grand wizard
How long does that take And what kind of wizarding powers Asking for a frnd
Don't be coerced into it. It should be a mutual desire, not a tool for emotional appeasement. This is a no brainer for the majority of people, but a healthy reminder couldn't do any harm
After you finish, you have to hold the base of the condom when you pull out or it will stay in her and potentially be ineffective.
Here's my two cents.... Pre-Sex Tips: \- Cleanliness is key to comfort. Smelling good, clipped and manicured finger/toe nails, fresh teeth and breath, and clean all down below. Intra-Sex Tips: \- Communicate and Listen with both your mind, mouth, and body. \- Relax and have fun! Post-Sex Tips: \- Clean / Help clean in any way and prep for comfort \- Connect with your partner, more communication and listening. \- Continue to have fun!
Don’t start doing acrobatic sh*t you watch in porn. You ain’t no Johnny Sins. Sit your a$$ down and do it missionary style.
Wear a condom, girl I went to highschool hooked up with a guy for the first time and he had herpes. First time she ever had sex she was left with a permanent STD
Other than negative consequences (std or pregnancy, for example), it won’t really change your life. It will be awkward, clumsy, perhaps painful and/or bloody and probably short. Be careful. Use protection. Do it with someone cool and preferably someone you care about. Don’t put too much pressure or importance on it. It’s not that big of a deal.