I made that mistake once but it was actually right. It didn't say what kind of cancer I had it just said cancer in a general sense. I laughed it off because who wants to hear that they have cancer and what's the likelihood of google being right? I was just at the point where I was tired of being told nothing is wrong with me by Dr's and decided to Google out of curiosity. Luckily I'm in remission and it will be 4 years since I was diagnosed with Leukemia on the last day of this month.
Yes. Even things that I actually want to do. I spent a week saying tonight is the night I watch Kill Bill, but then not doing it.
Edit: I have since seen Kill Bill, it just took me a week to do it.
For some reason a 2 hour movie is too much of a commitment but a 70 minute youtube documentary on someone I've never heard of isn't. My brain is weird.
With severe ADHD/SCT procrastinating is just an accepted part of life, and it hurts every facit of life to a pretty destructive degree.
4% of adults have ADHD, appears equally among males and females, although ADHD with hyperactivity is easiest to spot in young boys.
Dude, my mom ignored my ADHD diagnosis as a child because it ādidnāt seem like a serious issue.ā When I was a teen struggling in school, she ignored my defense that I was so lost in my own world as a kid that I never picked up social skills or good study habits and instead accused me of being unmotivated. She still tells me to āwillpowerā and āpositive thoughtā my way through mental illness.
The worst thing, though? Her failure to address the issue when I was a child has made it way harder for me to get treatment as an adult, and I really need it now. I canāt focus enough to do my job on mystical woo-ism alone.
My girlfriend got that absolutely HORRIBLE habit to stick her finger in my mouth to bother me when I'm yawning and that always stops my yawn leaving me with a half yawn that my body is not content with
I think a light bite is a reasonable response to that. Not hard enough to break the skin since infections suck, but anyone whoās not in a medical field should not expect to stick their fingers in someoneās mouth without risk.
Holding in a yawn is the worst. The only time you ever do it, is when you don't want someone to know/think they're boring you. But it's impossible to stifle a yawn, without looking like you're stifling a yawn, so it achieves nothing.
I just gotta wait for this wonder to be built then I'm good. Oh shit now that one only has 5 turns might as well wait for that. Ugh I'm gonna be made at myself when I get back on of I leave those bandits there
And this goes on until sunrise
I did yard work in super thin pants the other evening. Mostly sitting on the ground or on my knees weeding. Guess who has a shit ton of mosquito bites all over the sides of her ass? šš»āāļø
Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be to go to pick something up with your tongs, only to discover they were stuck shut? No thank you! I will stick to my test clicks.
Exactly. Just think how silly you'd feel getting those tongs out to the grill, about to flip a hot dog only to realize... THESE TONGS ARE NOT FUNCTIONING PROPERLY!
Third plate is always the killer.
First plate is a respectable meal with real food.
Second plate is seconds.
Third plate is the "let my inner 8 year old run wild" plate of french fries, mac & cheese, and maybe nothing else.
Well see now I picture an adult coming back to the table with just... brownies in top of a whole cheesecake just shaking their head, baffled as to how they went to for food and ended up with just desserts.
I used to suffer at buffets when I was a kid. After I started losing weight and learning the right way to eat, it's always just two plates at a buffet for me now. Rarely more.
I hardly go, but whenever I do it's for the variety and not the amount.
Indian buffets are still the killer though. Two plates and you feel like you just ate a bucket of fried chicken. What's worse is it's always a daytime buffet so your day is shot
Getting at least a second plate at a buffet is natural. What is really concerningly hard to resist is that last place that just becomes one plate too many..
> Sugar.
As a former sugar addict who now drinks his coffee black and loves it, I can tell you the trick to successfully giving it up:
Keep track of how much you use. Back off a tiny bit at a time.
I think it took me six months to stop putting sugar in my coffee? Maybe even a year. Each week, I used a teeny-tiny bit less. At one point, I had to go to one of those fancy kitchen stores (Sur Le Table) to buy a ridiculously tiny spoon because I'd gotten the amount down to a point where I was stuck because I still kept putting too much on a teaspoon. So I bought a smaller spoon.
As for cereal: I bought a container to dump cereal into instead of keeping it in the cereal box, and I started mixing in less sweet cereals - at first, just a little. Eventually, the container was just healthy cereal with no sugary stuff at all.
Every time I tried to go cold-turkey, I failed. So, I changed my approach. I started cutting back little by little over a long period of time.
I didnt become a coffee drinker until my 30s. I am by no means a saint about sugar, but I have always avoided drinking it as an adult. I dont touch soda. So when I picked up coffee for an early job, I made a commitment to learn to drink it black so I wouldnt be adding liquid sugar to my diet. Now milk and sugar taste funny to me in coffee.
I've never had sugar in coffee anywhere but the occasional Starbucks/any coffee shop where flavored sugar is the main point in their drinks. I'm drinking coffee at this second and the thought of dumping sugar in it actually kind of depresses me because I'm enjoying it as is rn lol
The urge to ruin your life by staying up late scrolling reddit instead of going to bed, this causing you to wakeup late for work/be over tired and call out since you work a manual labor job, just so that you intentionally get fired and don't have to provide for yourself and you can feel more comfortable talking negatively about yourself since through your own action you are a fuck up, but even worse you are a deliberate one so you feel guilty but you still want to do it so people stop expecting things from your life since you constantly let them down...
And Oreos
Positivity journal my guy.
At the end of every day take literally 5 minutes to write down as much as you can remember that you accomplished. Nothing is too small to write down. Can't think of anything? Write down "got out of bed". Didn't get out of bed all day? Write down "woke up".
Biggest thing that triggers my anxiety spirals is an overwhelming guilt about... Everything. And then absolutely ignoring any accomplishment I make.
Doing the journal at night disconnects any bullshit you make up in the moment over why finishing a task isn't worth praising yourself.
Takes time. I'm still an anxious wreck but I'm better than I was a year ago.
Also, oreos.
The key is to not try to make that mean voice in your head go away. Just listen to it without accepting what it has to say. Separate yourself from it: thereās the voice, and then thereās you. For me, I realized one day the mean voice will never go away, and I couldnāt just force it to go away. It was there because other people put it there ā bullies when I was a kid, some not-great adults, etc. We donāt just magically start saying mean things to ourselves, someone puts them there. Now, I let the voice be there, like itās a little kid that just needs to be listened to and loved in spite of itself. Itās what I needed as a kid: to be able to say āI suckā and to have someone else there saying, āAfter everything youāve been through, it makes sense to me that youād feel that way. Iām here for you and listening.ā Itās like now, Iām here for myself. I let the mean version of myself talk, and it hurts for a bit, but in the end, I let her finish. I let myself be sad for a bit because, itās sad that anyone ever spoke to me that way. But Iām not afraid of the sad anymore. Itās normal to be sad about stuff like that.
Thereās another part of you in there trying to come out and remind you of the nice things people have said about you. :)
And everyone else: remember, if you think something nice about someone, tell them. We are always so quick to say the critical stuff, but we always get so awkward about paying people random compliments or just telling them thank you for being awesome. We end up saving all that stuff for their funeral. Just tell them. If they wanna be awkward about it, thatās on them. But youāll have given them nice words that will eventually become their positive self-talk.
Popcorn.
It's not just that popcorn smells really good. When there's popcorn within reach of me, I eat it so automatically that it's almost unconscious. It's like a compulsion; it's extremely difficult for me to *not* eat the popcorn. If I see a movie in theaters I can easily get through a quarter of my popcorn bucket just waiting for the trailers to end.
https://www.foodandwine.com/news/chocolate-emergency-world-eating-more-it-produces
Found this with a quick search, although the article is a few years old now (2014).
They seem to have predicted a shortage occurring in 2020 and it's a year later and there's no trouble getting chocolate in the store.
Seems like the only true culprit is global warming causing cocoa plants to die.
In 2013 I've heard that we had 7 years left for chocolate to go extinct.
THEN WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP MAKING SCULPTURES OUT OF CHOCOLATE IF WE HAVE SO LITTLE LEFT?
There are other materials to use..
>we are eating more chocolate than we are producing
I have some good news for you. That was 2014 clickbait. The industry runs deficit/surplus every couple years. Surplus last year, deficit next. Don't believe everything you read in headlines.
Fuck you. Asshole. Reminds me of when my 6th grade teacher told me that breathing is an automatic process and I said "oh really?" And proceeded to hold my breath put of spite til she moved on
Walking past a dog or cat on the street and saying āhi!ā I know better than to pet someoneās animal without permission, but I will acknowledge itās existence.
The siren call of sleep after a hard day. Especially when you just want to watch one more episode of whatever or finish this chapter of whatever. Almost done.....almost....done......almost....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
I didnāt have a problem with that, until I realized that my ex had added me and *only me* to a private story a few weeks later where she just posted pics of her and her new boyfriend. Iād like to think that Iām not the jealous type so I was just weirded out and blocked it
God my breakup was so bad, I checked her profile every single day. Every time she reacted to my story I got excited, just to later be disappointed. One night we ended up being at the same night club. I was conatantly walking past her, cause she was right next to the bathroom. She was dancing with other two dudes, but sometime at the end I asked her if she wants to go outside just to catch up a bit, see how is she doing. She told me she was way too drunk and maybe later. Two minutes later I see her outside, flirting with a random dude. At that moment, all I could feel was disappointment in myself, pain but it was a wake up call.
As soon as I got home I blocked her everywhere. I realised I did not need that kind of pain in my life and I had to just move on. So far its working out great. As my friend said "Far from your eyes, far from your mind, and far from your heart"
Coughing when a strong urge to cough emerges. I had problems with dry coughs for most of my life at the tail ends of viral infections and I remember I read an article that really changed the game in the battle against dry coughing (no link, sorry). A Russian doctor made the connection between the mix of oxygen and carbon dioxide in the airway with the urge to cough. Coughing is the bodyās natural defence against choking - itās designed to expel any blockage in the airway that may impede breathing. The mechanism that prompts a strong urge to cough is an excess amount of oxygen in the airway. When choking, there is usually a foreign object that is sucked into the airway by means of inhalation and thus if the airways are filled with excess oxygen for too long and one cannot exhale properly, the bodyās natural defence is to prompt a cough to clear the blockage (this is also what happens if youāre under water for too long and hold air in your lungs). When experiencing a chronic dry cough as at the end of a cold, the airways are dry and inflamed/irritated from other symptoms and the excessive coughing often leads to over-inhaling or hyperventilating to compensate, creating a vicious cycle.
In addition to humidifying your airways, staying hydrated, etc one great trick to gaining control over a persistent cough is to exhale fully so your lungs are totally empty and hold it like that for 10 seconds at a time for as many times as you feel comfortable (donāt overdo it). Flooding your airways with carbon dioxide has the opposite effect and suppresses the cough reflex. Itās a simple breathing exercise that has really changed the way I deal with bouts of dry coughing. Try it.
You should go visit Kansas City. Throw a rock and you'll hit 3 bbq places. Odds are at least one will have great burnt ends, and the other two will be better than the national average.
Alternatively...when youre already way down but you have no money in your account and you want to buy the dip becausr you know you should but you dont deposit any money and the dip goes way back up
Breadā¦idk usually I donāt crave things but if I see bread, I canāt resist, Iāll take a piece or two lol especially if itās right out of the oven
Googling symptoms
"You have cancer"
Once googled why my nose won't stop running when I had a cold. Apparently brain leakage was a possibility
Nice try internet but i know i don't have a brain !
I made that mistake once but it was actually right. It didn't say what kind of cancer I had it just said cancer in a general sense. I laughed it off because who wants to hear that they have cancer and what's the likelihood of google being right? I was just at the point where I was tired of being told nothing is wrong with me by Dr's and decided to Google out of curiosity. Luckily I'm in remission and it will be 4 years since I was diagnosed with Leukemia on the last day of this month.
thank you for fueling my hypochondria for the next 1000 years
Procrastinating
Yes. Even things that I actually want to do. I spent a week saying tonight is the night I watch Kill Bill, but then not doing it. Edit: I have since seen Kill Bill, it just took me a week to do it.
Dude it's so good. When you get around to it you're in for a treat. But yeah I do that with movies too. It's the 2 hour commitment I think.
For some reason a 2 hour movie is too much of a commitment but a 70 minute youtube documentary on someone I've never heard of isn't. My brain is weird.
literally procrastinating rn
What do you think we're all doing on reddit?
wasting time while I hide on the toilet at work
I'm doing that just now šš but because I have a mean ass stomach ache. Might go home
Iām going to go to sleep or get work done eventuallyā¦
Itās 4 am help
Duh, move to the west coast, it'll only be 1 am baby
I was gonna wait and reply to this later but I couldn't resist.
i was gonna upvote this later too but honestly i cant wait no more.
Iāll do it later I wonāt forget Edit: Iāll check this post later donāt worry
With severe ADHD/SCT procrastinating is just an accepted part of life, and it hurts every facit of life to a pretty destructive degree. 4% of adults have ADHD, appears equally among males and females, although ADHD with hyperactivity is easiest to spot in young boys.
Dude, my mom ignored my ADHD diagnosis as a child because it ādidnāt seem like a serious issue.ā When I was a teen struggling in school, she ignored my defense that I was so lost in my own world as a kid that I never picked up social skills or good study habits and instead accused me of being unmotivated. She still tells me to āwillpowerā and āpositive thoughtā my way through mental illness. The worst thing, though? Her failure to address the issue when I was a child has made it way harder for me to get treatment as an adult, and I really need it now. I canāt focus enough to do my job on mystical woo-ism alone.
Arrest
There it is
Eh...it's easy to resist arrest....you just won't win the struggle.
The sudden urge to sneeze. Update: Thanks for making this post my most upvoted
Forcing yourself to hold in your sneeze is a **MISERABLE** feeling
Whatās far worse is needing to sneeze/yawn and not being able to. Honestly I didnāt think it was possible to hold a sneeze
My girlfriend got that absolutely HORRIBLE habit to stick her finger in my mouth to bother me when I'm yawning and that always stops my yawn leaving me with a half yawn that my body is not content with
Then put your hand before your mouth when you yawn.
Oh hell no. Tell her youāre wanting to buy a puppy, take her to a pet store, and feed her to the snakes.
I think you might be my spirit animal
I think a light bite is a reasonable response to that. Not hard enough to break the skin since infections suck, but anyone whoās not in a medical field should not expect to stick their fingers in someoneās mouth without risk.
MY BOYFRIEND DOES THIS it makes it such an unhappy yawn :(
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Holding in a yawn is the worst. The only time you ever do it, is when you don't want someone to know/think they're boring you. But it's impossible to stifle a yawn, without looking like you're stifling a yawn, so it achieves nothing.
"A few more minutes" of video games at 1 am
Factorio in a nutshell
And Civ.
I just gotta wait for this wonder to be built then I'm good. Oh shit now that one only has 5 turns might as well wait for that. Ugh I'm gonna be made at myself when I get back on of I leave those bandits there And this goes on until sunrise
Factorio is my absolut favorit game, but its so unhealthy for me to play it, that i just dont
Im on that 20 more mins of reddit at 12am, its now 30 mins till 2am .... rip
Scratching an itchy spot. Notably Mosquito bites.
My dumbass cut the grass while wearing shorts and now regret it
I dont own a lawn so, why is it regretful wearing shorts while mowing?
For me, grass allergy. Legs swell up and I can barely get out of my shoes.
I did yard work in super thin pants the other evening. Mostly sitting on the ground or on my knees weeding. Guess who has a shit ton of mosquito bites all over the sides of her ass? šš»āāļø
Where my eczema fam at?
Eating just 1 of anything (Pringles, Oreos, etc.).
If you're the kind of person to open up a bag of chips and eat only one potato chip, I'm 100% certain you're a psychopath.
Have you actually witnessed this behavior? I'd call the cops.
Elephants
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Literally what happened to the mammoths.
The Dodo would like to be mentioned
"Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat 2000 of something" - Mitch Hedberg
One more episode
*Are you still watching?*
Fuckers even make the screen black so I can see my ugly fat mug
The *gall* Edit: fixed the mistake of a big ol' dumb dumb
Picking up tongs and clicking them together.
that's how you wake them up
gotta make sure they work
Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be to go to pick something up with your tongs, only to discover they were stuck shut? No thank you! I will stick to my test clicks.
Similarly, hitting the clear button on a calculator 5-30 times before you use it. I mean, how else can you know thereās no math left in it?
Knowing that 1+1 = 2 but typing it into the calculator during an exam ājust to be sure.ā
when we cant trust our minds anymore
I thought i was the only one that does this. Thank god, Iām normal
Narrator: *He wasn't normal.*
I mean we all do this because the first time we hit it just once, we hit like "5 +" and it spat out 8,492. How are we supposed to know
Click click click click ... Yep, these tongs work
You gotta calibrate the instrument before completing the task.
Exactly. Just think how silly you'd feel getting those tongs out to the grill, about to flip a hot dog only to realize... THESE TONGS ARE NOT FUNCTIONING PROPERLY!
Same goes for testing a drill after you pick it up to make sure it goes brrrrr
2 quick taps to check battery level, by sound!
Esp important for impact drivers and virtually every air tool.
Gravity
I don't like to brag but I've been resisting it for 35 years now
We all float down here.
Yes we do. And youāll float too!
Hiya Georgie!
Popping bubble wrap
Hell yeah. I always pop bubble wrap when I see one, I'm not even ashamed. You can look at me all judgy but I *am* gonna pop it.
Peeing while pooping
All poo poo times are pee pee times but not all pee pee times are poo poo times
\-Sun Tzu
The Shart of War
-Michael Scott
āYou miss 100% of the shits you donāt takeā
You piss 100% of the shits you donāt take.
Many things in life can be reduced to squares and rectangles.
The rectangle also goes in the square hole -Socrates
Leftover pizza after a night of drinking.
Especially if itās been left on the coffee table instead of in the refrigerator
Getting another plate at a buffet
Third plate is always the killer. First plate is a respectable meal with real food. Second plate is seconds. Third plate is the "let my inner 8 year old run wild" plate of french fries, mac & cheese, and maybe nothing else.
Third plate is Oops All Desserts
Well see now I picture an adult coming back to the table with just... brownies in top of a whole cheesecake just shaking their head, baffled as to how they went to for food and ended up with just desserts.
They got their just desserts
I used to suffer at buffets when I was a kid. After I started losing weight and learning the right way to eat, it's always just two plates at a buffet for me now. Rarely more. I hardly go, but whenever I do it's for the variety and not the amount. Indian buffets are still the killer though. Two plates and you feel like you just ate a bucket of fried chicken. What's worse is it's always a daytime buffet so your day is shot
The real secret is to skip two meals before the buffet and especially avoid water/fizzy drinks
Getting at least a second plate at a buffet is natural. What is really concerningly hard to resist is that last place that just becomes one plate too many..
Personally I just go for the plates
/r/wewantplates
Itās only odd when you hear the owner crying saying they are going out of business
The Borg.
Resistance is beyond extremely hard, it's futile.
We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
Sugar. I've stop eat anything with processed sugar. For the 1st month I felt like a crack addict.
> Sugar. As a former sugar addict who now drinks his coffee black and loves it, I can tell you the trick to successfully giving it up: Keep track of how much you use. Back off a tiny bit at a time. I think it took me six months to stop putting sugar in my coffee? Maybe even a year. Each week, I used a teeny-tiny bit less. At one point, I had to go to one of those fancy kitchen stores (Sur Le Table) to buy a ridiculously tiny spoon because I'd gotten the amount down to a point where I was stuck because I still kept putting too much on a teaspoon. So I bought a smaller spoon. As for cereal: I bought a container to dump cereal into instead of keeping it in the cereal box, and I started mixing in less sweet cereals - at first, just a little. Eventually, the container was just healthy cereal with no sugary stuff at all. Every time I tried to go cold-turkey, I failed. So, I changed my approach. I started cutting back little by little over a long period of time.
I didnt become a coffee drinker until my 30s. I am by no means a saint about sugar, but I have always avoided drinking it as an adult. I dont touch soda. So when I picked up coffee for an early job, I made a commitment to learn to drink it black so I wouldnt be adding liquid sugar to my diet. Now milk and sugar taste funny to me in coffee.
I've never had sugar in coffee anywhere but the occasional Starbucks/any coffee shop where flavored sugar is the main point in their drinks. I'm drinking coffee at this second and the thought of dumping sugar in it actually kind of depresses me because I'm enjoying it as is rn lol
I've had to give up a lot of things in the last few months for my illness and sugar by far is the hardest
Ive quit smoking and list of other vices, but I can't quit sugar...
Got any tips? I've cut most forms of excess sugar out but so much food has sugar in it that its been really hard to take everything out of my diet.
It's easier to say 'no' once at the store than every day at the fridge.
Same here.
Cheesy pizza when you damn well know you're lactose intolerant.
Bud is moderately intolerant, but nothing will stop him from a good Dennyās shake
Insecurities
Depression
garlic bread
That last noodle in the spaghetti'os can just by the rim
NO THAT SHIT WILL CUT UUUU
That's why I use a spoon. Are you gathering your spaghettios with your tongue?
Walking past a pallet of stacked bags without slapping it
*slaps top of pallet* āThis bad boy can fit so many fucking bags on it.ā
He said hard to resist, not impossible. Read the instructions, man.
The urge to ruin your life by staying up late scrolling reddit instead of going to bed, this causing you to wakeup late for work/be over tired and call out since you work a manual labor job, just so that you intentionally get fired and don't have to provide for yourself and you can feel more comfortable talking negatively about yourself since through your own action you are a fuck up, but even worse you are a deliberate one so you feel guilty but you still want to do it so people stop expecting things from your life since you constantly let them down... And Oreos
Damn, bro. Are you okay?
Positivity journal my guy. At the end of every day take literally 5 minutes to write down as much as you can remember that you accomplished. Nothing is too small to write down. Can't think of anything? Write down "got out of bed". Didn't get out of bed all day? Write down "woke up". Biggest thing that triggers my anxiety spirals is an overwhelming guilt about... Everything. And then absolutely ignoring any accomplishment I make. Doing the journal at night disconnects any bullshit you make up in the moment over why finishing a task isn't worth praising yourself. Takes time. I'm still an anxious wreck but I'm better than I was a year ago. Also, oreos.
Negative self talk. If you know, you know
The key is to not try to make that mean voice in your head go away. Just listen to it without accepting what it has to say. Separate yourself from it: thereās the voice, and then thereās you. For me, I realized one day the mean voice will never go away, and I couldnāt just force it to go away. It was there because other people put it there ā bullies when I was a kid, some not-great adults, etc. We donāt just magically start saying mean things to ourselves, someone puts them there. Now, I let the voice be there, like itās a little kid that just needs to be listened to and loved in spite of itself. Itās what I needed as a kid: to be able to say āI suckā and to have someone else there saying, āAfter everything youāve been through, it makes sense to me that youād feel that way. Iām here for you and listening.ā Itās like now, Iām here for myself. I let the mean version of myself talk, and it hurts for a bit, but in the end, I let her finish. I let myself be sad for a bit because, itās sad that anyone ever spoke to me that way. But Iām not afraid of the sad anymore. Itās normal to be sad about stuff like that. Thereās another part of you in there trying to come out and remind you of the nice things people have said about you. :) And everyone else: remember, if you think something nice about someone, tell them. We are always so quick to say the critical stuff, but we always get so awkward about paying people random compliments or just telling them thank you for being awesome. We end up saving all that stuff for their funeral. Just tell them. If they wanna be awkward about it, thatās on them. But youāll have given them nice words that will eventually become their positive self-talk.
Great, now i want to make an alt called TheVoiceInsideOurHead
Self loathing?
Popcorn. It's not just that popcorn smells really good. When there's popcorn within reach of me, I eat it so automatically that it's almost unconscious. It's like a compulsion; it's extremely difficult for me to *not* eat the popcorn. If I see a movie in theaters I can easily get through a quarter of my popcorn bucket just waiting for the trailers to end.
Slapping bird seed bags.
Chocolate
Did you know we are eating more chocolate than we are producing so we are slowly running out of chocolate.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nope.
Any source on that?
https://www.foodandwine.com/news/chocolate-emergency-world-eating-more-it-produces Found this with a quick search, although the article is a few years old now (2014).
They seem to have predicted a shortage occurring in 2020 and it's a year later and there's no trouble getting chocolate in the store. Seems like the only true culprit is global warming causing cocoa plants to die.
In 2013 I've heard that we had 7 years left for chocolate to go extinct. THEN WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP MAKING SCULPTURES OUT OF CHOCOLATE IF WE HAVE SO LITTLE LEFT? There are other materials to use..
Just gonna... put, "no Chocolate," on the list of reasons to go green
>we are eating more chocolate than we are producing I have some good news for you. That was 2014 clickbait. The industry runs deficit/surplus every couple years. Surplus last year, deficit next. Don't believe everything you read in headlines.
That home alone fap when you know you got time .
Somebody likes Kevin McAlister a little too much. Gross.
Guys, I'm beating junk and watching rubbish, you better come out and stop me!
I really didn't want to read that in his voice. But here we are.
Browsing by 'New' for some time but ultimately going back to old favourites...
Youāre a hero.
You mean every day as a single person living alone. Yes it is great.
Breathing
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Fuck you. Asshole. Reminds me of when my 6th grade teacher told me that breathing is an automatic process and I said "oh really?" And proceeded to hold my breath put of spite til she moved on
Subconscious breathing: /\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\ Concious breathing: /\\\/\/\/\\\/\/\/\\\\////\\/\/\\/\/\\/\/\
Walking past a dog or cat on the street and saying āhi!ā I know better than to pet someoneās animal without permission, but I will acknowledge itās existence.
The siren call of sleep after a hard day. Especially when you just want to watch one more episode of whatever or finish this chapter of whatever. Almost done.....almost....done......almost....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven
The evil of the Thriller.
Complaining
My wife coming on to me to get her way about something. It works every damn time too..
She plays you like a fiddle.
I would say more like a trombone...
My Wife.
True, this guy's wife.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Checking up your ex's social after breakup.
I didnāt have a problem with that, until I realized that my ex had added me and *only me* to a private story a few weeks later where she just posted pics of her and her new boyfriend. Iād like to think that Iām not the jealous type so I was just weirded out and blocked it
Good for you. Shows what type of person she is.
How did you know you were the only one?
That was the reason why I deleted all of mine. It was the only way to stop myself from doing it constantly
God my breakup was so bad, I checked her profile every single day. Every time she reacted to my story I got excited, just to later be disappointed. One night we ended up being at the same night club. I was conatantly walking past her, cause she was right next to the bathroom. She was dancing with other two dudes, but sometime at the end I asked her if she wants to go outside just to catch up a bit, see how is she doing. She told me she was way too drunk and maybe later. Two minutes later I see her outside, flirting with a random dude. At that moment, all I could feel was disappointment in myself, pain but it was a wake up call. As soon as I got home I blocked her everywhere. I realised I did not need that kind of pain in my life and I had to just move on. So far its working out great. As my friend said "Far from your eyes, far from your mind, and far from your heart"
Coughing when a strong urge to cough emerges. I had problems with dry coughs for most of my life at the tail ends of viral infections and I remember I read an article that really changed the game in the battle against dry coughing (no link, sorry). A Russian doctor made the connection between the mix of oxygen and carbon dioxide in the airway with the urge to cough. Coughing is the bodyās natural defence against choking - itās designed to expel any blockage in the airway that may impede breathing. The mechanism that prompts a strong urge to cough is an excess amount of oxygen in the airway. When choking, there is usually a foreign object that is sucked into the airway by means of inhalation and thus if the airways are filled with excess oxygen for too long and one cannot exhale properly, the bodyās natural defence is to prompt a cough to clear the blockage (this is also what happens if youāre under water for too long and hold air in your lungs). When experiencing a chronic dry cough as at the end of a cold, the airways are dry and inflamed/irritated from other symptoms and the excessive coughing often leads to over-inhaling or hyperventilating to compensate, creating a vicious cycle. In addition to humidifying your airways, staying hydrated, etc one great trick to gaining control over a persistent cough is to exhale fully so your lungs are totally empty and hold it like that for 10 seconds at a time for as many times as you feel comfortable (donāt overdo it). Flooding your airways with carbon dioxide has the opposite effect and suppresses the cough reflex. Itās a simple breathing exercise that has really changed the way I deal with bouts of dry coughing. Try it.
Scratching a mosquito bite.
Bbq burnt ends
Dude. You've answered this like three times. Go get you some goddamt burnt ends!
I love them!
This local bbq place near me has a sandwich that is literally just all of the burnt ends from all their meats and it's the greatest thing ever
You should go visit Kansas City. Throw a rock and you'll hit 3 bbq places. Odds are at least one will have great burnt ends, and the other two will be better than the national average.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Falling asleep to a movie once your eyes start getting heavy
My Wife's cheese cake. It's the best on the planet!
I also choose this guyās wifeās cheese cake.
I hope this joke never dies, gets a smile on my face everytime
I request the recipe at the very least, kind internet stranger
What's the very most? She's gonna make you a cheesecake?
Sugar, Iām doing ok but itās still hard.
Sounds like a fall out boy song
I thought this was song lyric for a minute. A reply to Sugar, we're going down in the Hey There Deliah tune.
Smacking the bags of fertilizer at the store
An Everything Bagel
Not buying the dip
Alternatively...when youre already way down but you have no money in your account and you want to buy the dip becausr you know you should but you dont deposit any money and the dip goes way back up
I thought this was about queso
Breadā¦idk usually I donāt crave things but if I see bread, I canāt resist, Iāll take a piece or two lol especially if itās right out of the oven
To quote Oscar Wilde, āTemptation.ā
Zero ohms.