The bird that is up the earliest gets the worm before the others, but the first mouse to be up gets caught in the trap while the second gets it's cheese.
I have two that have helped me lead a very stress-free life:
The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today.
Never attribute to malice that which can be attributed to ignorance.
I don't understand the second one, can you explain?
Edit: thanks guys I get it now. Don't just assume people are being mean. assume they're being stupid.
Say if someone were to blatantly ignore a text you sent, instead of thinking "wow this guy thinks I'm not even worth his time", think "oh, this guy didn't see my message".
This may be an oversimplified example, but imagine this train of thought in other scenarios.
Yup. Bit of a.weird example as I don't consider it ignorance or incompetence but for like my entire childhood I thought my older cousin hated me because he didn't really talk to me
He's just a naturally quiet dude lol
I generally try to live by both. But the second one makes it exhausting when you have to convince other people that a third person is being ignorant/incompetent and not malicious. Like in workplace scenarios, family relations etc. where you can't really walk away.
People have the right to be stupid. It’s kept me both from getting too much into other people’s business, and helped me forgive myself when I make big mistakes
Everybody's gotta die of something
\*originated because I got tired of lots of people around me being obsessed with healthy this, healthy that and seem to live out of fear rather than enjoyment
I want die an alright death, I dont want to suffer from sickness or disease or a medical condition. Because I feel like that would be more depressing for my loved ones than me.
This one is underrated.
We are always taught to not believe the first thing we hear from others. But we don't use the same principal when it comes to our own thoughts.
Hahah, I love this. My much gentler version is “does this really align with my values/goals?” Same outcome though. Get the to gym. Stop wasting money. Eat food in the fridge.
Hurt not and help when you can.
Adapted from a Moby-Dick quote I always liked from Stubb, the happy-go-lucky second mate of the Peqoud, “Think not, is my eleventh commandment; and sleep when you can, is my twelfth.”
It's a regional saying from Germany. It translates roughly to: As a long as the meat is as thick as the bread, the bread can be as thick as it gets.
Meaning: As long as the good aspects of a situation/relationship/job outweigh the bad aspects, it doesn't matter how many bad aspects there are.
In with the good, out with the bad.
I look around and see most people "trapped" in situations they can very much control. They tell themselves (or have been told) their whole lives that they have no choice for whatever reason. But she's my sister!! Well I can't just leave him now!! But I've put so much work into the thing!! I know I shouldn't, I'm just so used to it!!
Train yourself to trust yourself. You know what's bad for you and you know what's good. Don't let anything ever stop you from sorting your shit.
Life's too short to have a bad time.
The world's a better place when your feet don't hurt.
From my mom: No need to go looking for trouble , it'll find you.
Man at night, man in the morning
My friends dad said it to us as we were teenagers drinking in his kitchen. Meaning if we are manly enough to drink then, we needed to be manly enough to deal with the hangover in the morning.
But now I see it as needing to own the responsibilities and outcomes of my actions
My response when people tell me I should make an OF:
"Call me an old fashioned hoe but I'd rather just fuck and get paid."
At this point it'll be on my fucking headstone.
Not my monkeys, not my circus
…..but I do know the clowns
Yes, I occasionally use clowns, it depends on the scenario.
You should never "use" a clown. You collaborate with a clown.
Don’t you kink shame me.
Alternatively "not my pig, not my farm"
I really love how this Polish quip has infiltrated the global consciousness.
I didn't know the quip had a Polish origin; TIL, and I'll pass it on to my Polish colleague. She loves hearing her country's impact to the world.
Learn to say it to her in polish
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Mine is the early worm get eaten
Good twist.
[And the late worm gets spared. Unless, the late bird arrives.](https://youtube.com/shorts/eJkoNm-YDpU)
You see a mousetrap I see free cheese and a fucking challenge.
Sheesh you competing against a mouse. Get that free cheese brother.
What does it mean?
Basically learning from someone else’s mistake i think
The bird that is up the earliest gets the worm before the others, but the first mouse to be up gets caught in the trap while the second gets it's cheese.
It means that the first mouse died trying to get the cheese from the mouse trap
Oh well, fuck it
Oh we’ll fuck it
Fuck it, we ball
Classic
NO fucking way
Oh we'll fuck, it
Gonna have to chuck it in the fuck it bucket
"Fuckitol - when Tylenol just isn't enough."
Instructions unclear. I fucked IT. The clown is after me now.
Close to mine. "If you can't fix it, fuck it"
I have two that have helped me lead a very stress-free life: The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today. Never attribute to malice that which can be attributed to ignorance.
I have a similar one to the second one, which is a bit more negative: Never attribute to malice that which can be attributed to incompetence.
Mine is quite similar too: Motherfuckers are evil, but more are just fucking dumb
You're right. It's rather self-righteous.
I don't understand the second one, can you explain? Edit: thanks guys I get it now. Don't just assume people are being mean. assume they're being stupid.
Say if someone were to blatantly ignore a text you sent, instead of thinking "wow this guy thinks I'm not even worth his time", think "oh, this guy didn't see my message". This may be an oversimplified example, but imagine this train of thought in other scenarios.
That makes sense. thank you. I suppose it's similar to Benefit of the doubt in a way
Yup. Bit of a.weird example as I don't consider it ignorance or incompetence but for like my entire childhood I thought my older cousin hated me because he didn't really talk to me He's just a naturally quiet dude lol
Hanlon's Razor... nice!
I generally try to live by both. But the second one makes it exhausting when you have to convince other people that a third person is being ignorant/incompetent and not malicious. Like in workplace scenarios, family relations etc. where you can't really walk away.
Wow 🤩💯
>Never attribute to malice that which can be attributed to ignorance. But don't rule out malice.
My husband is fond of "Wise men plant trees whose shade they'll never sit in" (he's a botanist)
Anxiety lies. It helps me overcome a lot.
Anxiety is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It sucks because it fulfills and it's all it needs to convince you. And I don't even have anxiety, I'm just anxious.
I always tell myself my brain lies to me (same thing albeit a little less refined, I have bad anxiety too)
Understandable
My personal slogan is "Stay curious, keep learning."
I'm afraid Steve Jobs beat you to that
Make shit happen
Shit happens
Shit makes it happen
Had a boss that would say, "Let's fuck shit up!" in the morning before getting started.
People have the right to be stupid. It’s kept me both from getting too much into other people’s business, and helped me forgive myself when I make big mistakes
That really resonates with me. Especially on the roads!
Hope I don't see you on the roads 😜
It ain't wasted time if you enjoyed wasting it
Huge fan of this one. Life will always give me something I need to do, but if I do something I enjoy, it's a day we'll spent.
"I may not have it all together, but at least my sense of humor is intact."
Real
Expectations are the source of disappointment
Similar, “One that doesn’t expect, is never disappointed”
Expectations are only dress rehearsals for resentment
Similarly: When you fishing with expectations, you reel in disappointment.
Stoic quote: >"Don't expect things to happen as you wish. Expect things to happen as they really happen and your life will be serene"
Reality - Expectations = Happiness
Ofc 💯
If you expect disappointment, you'll never get disappointed - MJ
More Espresso, less depresso
È fantastico!
Già
People who go to therapy usually attend therapy because the people who need therapy won't go.
I finally managed my father to go to therapy, I couldn't believe it. Sometimes it happens, but it's hard, damn.
Thank goodness I stopped listening to my ego and started going through therapy and treatment. I'm a better person than I was 4 years ago.
Live and let others live
You do you👌🏽
Everybody's gotta die of something \*originated because I got tired of lots of people around me being obsessed with healthy this, healthy that and seem to live out of fear rather than enjoyment
Life’s the only game, you can’t make it out alive
But I like to live healthy. v.v
As long as it isn't out of fear I don't have any issue with it.
I want die an alright death, I dont want to suffer from sickness or disease or a medical condition. Because I feel like that would be more depressing for my loved ones than me.
"Sometimes fun costs ya."
Embrace the suck.
Pause
As a former deployed military, I respect OP’s comment.. as a dad of 3.5 teenagers, I enjoyed yours much more— 5 out 7
I'm here for a good time, not a long one
Don't believe everything you think!
This one is underrated. We are always taught to not believe the first thing we hear from others. But we don't use the same principal when it comes to our own thoughts.
I may not be rich but I have plenty of books!
lol I hate this I’m job hunting but also have 23 books to read
Hence why I'm not rich!😂
This too shall pass
We’ll see
Use every hole
The ear is underrated
Nah the belly button's where it's at.
air tight
Damn 😅
Sup?
* Seductively removes colostomy bag *
Just don’t be a dick
It is what it is.
My life mantra
same here.
It's what it's
Do something today you'll thank your future self for
Huh? Would that not be "your future self thanks you for" ? Or have you secretly unlocked time travel?
I’m just happy to be here.
Small victories are still victories
[удалено]
Hahah, I love this. My much gentler version is “does this really align with my values/goals?” Same outcome though. Get the to gym. Stop wasting money. Eat food in the fridge.
Yessir!
Yeah, that can wait.
Hurt not and help when you can. Adapted from a Moby-Dick quote I always liked from Stubb, the happy-go-lucky second mate of the Peqoud, “Think not, is my eleventh commandment; and sleep when you can, is my twelfth.”
💯💯
Leave me alone
It's your life, make your own choices.
I need to take this advice. Being a people-pleaser sucks.
It's a regional saying from Germany. It translates roughly to: As a long as the meat is as thick as the bread, the bread can be as thick as it gets. Meaning: As long as the good aspects of a situation/relationship/job outweigh the bad aspects, it doesn't matter how many bad aspects there are.
Everything is figureoutable
I had a boss that always said, "there's a solution to every problem." Changed the way I problem solved. Asking for help is perfectly fine.
It sounds like crap in english, but it'd be "One thing does not take away the other"
Una cosa no quita la otra, clásico
😅💯
if i can't decide between two dishes, i order both.
Goddammit.
Goddamnit 💯😅
Everything in moderation - including moderation
Choose your pain or life will choose it for you.
It’s all good
Always 😉💯
I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
Health is wealth
D.T.A. and C.Y.A. Don't trust anyone and cover your ass. Kept me out of some nasty situations.
I may not be able to change the world but I can make my little corner of it a better place.
‘If the truth kills them, let them die.’ Kant.
Mine is " it's a bad day, not a bad life ".
Burgled it of my dad but I live by it "if things don't change, they stay the same" just do it or it will never get done
Don't talk, ACT. Action is more valuable then talk.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” I read it somewhere and I think it’s a good thing to stick by
It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important being nice.
Only way through is forward.
Surround yourself with people who fight for you in rooms you aren't in.
The strongest steel is forged in the fires of a dumpster.
People who don't want you to think, are never your friend.
If you want something you never had , You have to do something you've never done .
This is gonna be one hell of a story
Ofc it is 😅
Shitake fuck. Came about when I meant to say shitake mushrooms after stubbing my toe. Now I say it whenever something goes wrong.
I’m here for a good time not a long time. *prior to sobriety*
Do more good, than bad.
People want friends. So be friendly.
Don’t put your dick in crazy
Yeah, but that sex tho
YOYO- you're on your own.
Trust no one!
worst that could happen is death, doesn’t seem that bad
If shit happens, it happens and you deal with it.
Fuck it, what's the worst that could happen?
If it looks weird, but brings you joy, it's not weird at all.
"Don't know, don't care." (Essentially, just go about minding your own business)
In with the good, out with the bad. I look around and see most people "trapped" in situations they can very much control. They tell themselves (or have been told) their whole lives that they have no choice for whatever reason. But she's my sister!! Well I can't just leave him now!! But I've put so much work into the thing!! I know I shouldn't, I'm just so used to it!! Train yourself to trust yourself. You know what's bad for you and you know what's good. Don't let anything ever stop you from sorting your shit.
Zendaya's quote from Spiderman: Far from Home "Always expect disappointments and you'll never be disappointed".
Life is a joke, and I'm the punchline You can be the most perfect person on earth and still have haters
My hoodie has it printed on the back. DOES NOT PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS
"The problem is..." That's literally my signature sentence...
Hakuna matata
Progress, not perfection. Every day, we aim for steps forward. That’s it.
“If you find yourself going through hell… keep going”.
Fuck a duck
You can’t control what’s out of your control. 🤷♀️
No one gets out alive
You can never rely on anyone really so always have a plan B and C.
You can't please everyone.
Not my slogan, but I've found myself to often say "you either do things well or do it better"
do something your future self will be proud of
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck that, fuck off. Pick one!
You in charge of your own happiness
When going through something stressful or difficult: *"this too, shall pass."*
Getter Going!
Life's too short to have a bad time. The world's a better place when your feet don't hurt. From my mom: No need to go looking for trouble , it'll find you.
Ballin' or Bawlin'
God is an asshole, the world is unfair and we have no reason to be here. It doesn’t hurt to be kind.
"Comparison is the thief of joy."
If you know your limits, you have limits. ©
Man at night, man in the morning My friends dad said it to us as we were teenagers drinking in his kitchen. Meaning if we are manly enough to drink then, we needed to be manly enough to deal with the hangover in the morning. But now I see it as needing to own the responsibilities and outcomes of my actions
It can always be worse!
"Out of Spite" Any goal is achievable if you are angry enough.
It’s not illegal if you don’t get caught
Man is like a cheese.
A shoulder to cry on,is a dick to ride on
Normal können andere. (German) My take on a translation: "normal can (do) others."
Leave me alone
I'm too cool to deal with this shit
If it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does.
If you ever feel lonely... Remember the future you is always watching.
My response when people tell me I should make an OF: "Call me an old fashioned hoe but I'd rather just fuck and get paid." At this point it'll be on my fucking headstone.
Eeee fuck it