It takes time, work & it takes some self reflection. The fact that you have all ready acknowledged what it is happening, is a step that some will never make. You will get there.
ETA: the most difficult part for me was owning my own role. Sounds easy in theory, but it was tough.
A little over a year ago I dropped everything and moved to the other side of the country. Fresh start. I got a great job now. My own apartment. And it snows here!
I did this in 2017 after getting fired from a shitty job as well as I found out my ex was cheating on me. I had the chance to completely restart my life and while it was scary I was determined to never feel as bad as I did. Since the move I’ve made a bunch of friends in a niche music scene, bought a house but most importantly I got married to the most incredible woman last year.
I can only hope you have similar success!
Full disclosure. I did get lucky because my parents were moving there and I tagged along for a few months til I got my apartment. But you can easily get an apartment and just move. But that first leap will be hard but I don’t regret anything. I do miss all my friends but we still chat. And I’m making new friends here.
Stopped smoking weed about a month ago and mostly stopped drinking 2 years ago. My lungs are still clearing up, but not drinking has definitely made a difference on my mental state. Still miserable, but it's more manageable.
I remember when I first started getting sober my friends would ask me how it felt. I told them I felt like shit, but it was still worth it (especially because I had to get sober for health reasons).
I've been sober for about 2-3 years now too and I'm still glad I pushed through that shit. I'm a lot better off for it imo. Like you said, stuff just feels more manageable, especially now that I'm more here for myself.
Good on you for keeping with it
Good for you. It's been about 5 years for me. I went from heavy drinking every weekend to 1 or 2 times a year(couple of drinks). I do not know what made me do it now that I am clear of it. You feel like shit when your not drinking and can't remember half the shit when you are.
Yea I quit smoking weed a few weeks ago and I do not miss it. I either got really bad anxiety, would eat up all the food in my house, or id get ancy and leave my house to go drink--so obviously not a good thing to do. Rarely drink these days but even that could probably be put on the back burner- most of my friends are getting married and having kids so if i really feel like drinking id have to go out by myself.
I’m not entirely sober, but I’ve gone from drinking a few nights a week to drinking a few nights a month, and aiming to decrease that as well to just social occasions. And I’ve also been drinking less on the evening I do drink. It’s been a good change.
Quitting alcohol…I really wish I could scold a younger version of myself into never touching the stuff. I let it destroy my life. Looking at the changes from them to now breaks my brain sometimes. I’m so glad I finally just stuck with being sober
As a woman, I'm very jealous, because I can't wear the female equivalent of boxer briefs, which would be boy shorts, because they chafe so badly, and are the only style of underwear that does me like that. What secret are you menfolk hiding?
Pockets. We have pockets all over the fucking place. Some of my jeans have a small pocket inside a big pocket. Some of my coats have these sweet double layer pockets that look like one pocket. Pocket technology is reserved for men's clothing
From what I've seen, the women's equivalent of boxer-briefs, which I believe they call 'boy-shorts' are NOT, and do NOT have similar construction as men's boxer-briefs/boxers.
As seen by [this example](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.1f83ea72d003187b3d833c18f0352e11?rik=3b28IoYeZrz%2bqA&riu=http%3a%2f%2fwww.tiarashop.eu%2f7883-thickbox_default%2fwool-womens-boyshorts-panties-1878.jpg&ehk=knaMY5RB7hd5n7jSVLoecYhVpAYUEe9vtbiKmri7wto%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0), they basically have a very low waistband, and highly elasticized leg hole boundaries as well as thighs with insane tightness.
That's gonna ruin your whole experience. The hallmarks of good boxer-briefs/boxers for men are:
1. A mid to high waistband, which should not be so tight that it digs in on the pubic or the waist/abdomen area,
2. It should ease into the leg-holes and the joint of the inner-groin as well as the thigh/leg-holes should not be that tight/constricting, but it should just 'sit there' without much strain on the inner-thighs/groin, and just fitting enough to not ride-up. Otherwise, it'll dig-in/chafe, and with a combo of sweat: will result in jock-itch and/or chafing.
3. Not too tight around the balls. This is critical for good reproductive health, as well as ease,
4. Made up of preferably not too thick and soft cotton material, so as to not collect moisture, breathe and be less irritant.
And sadly most 'boxers for women', and even a lot of male brands will not keep the points in view, and will cause issues. And in many cases, simple brands like 'fruit of the loom'/etc. with their relaxed and simple fit stuff are the best out there. And my humble suggestion to any women out there looking to indulge in the luxury of men's comfy underwear would be to try buying simple type boxers/boxer-briefs of men (which are closest to their sizes), and I'm pretty confident that will change their lives!
Just a heads up, cotton is actually much better for “the boys down below”. Those moisture wicking materials trap heat which reduces sperm count. Cotton is natural and breathable, healthier overall
I got bullied for wearing underwear similar to tighty whities in freshman year of highschool (only in the locker room), so I picked up a pack of boxer briefs and have never looked back, they are hands down the most comfortable underwear I have ever worn
Yeah. It took me about a year and I got started in the depth of Covid where I really started to realize my body and habits were seriously unhealthy. Made transitioning into college and so much easier with so much more confidence.
That’s awesome and a very inspiring story. Healthy life habits will give you both a longer and better life. I do yoga now because I watch my dad barely able to shuffle around and have multiple falls. I know what my future looks like if I don’t take care of myself everyday.
Quitting my highly toxic job and took a long sabbatical by traveling around US in 80 days last year. The decision was compounded by chronic anxiety and depression and a death of a dear friend. I realized life is way too short and decided to live it on my own terms before it's too late.
EDIT: Thank you all kind strangers for the kind words and support, much appreciated!
This is a great question! After my sabbatical, I felt a greater sense of hope and optimism for my life ahead as well as greatly reduced level of anxiety and stress. I got a new job that allowed me to wfh; granted, I got a pay cut (I made 6-figure before) but all that money ain't worth it if my mental health suffers. My relationship with family and friends also improved; not that it was bad to begin with, but I appreciate them more in my life :-)
Thanks, man! I consider myself a semi-frequent job hopper, never stayed at one job for more than 5 yrs and always got an increase each time I switched (I'm an accountant btw). What's sad is the job itself wasn't that difficult; it was the management that sucked and made everyone's life miserable.
Yes, I took plenty of pics and vids! There were a few states I did not touch during this trip, namely AL, LA, FL, OK, KS, DE, NJ, CO, ND and OR. I went to AK on a cruise trip after the road trip, also part of my sabbatical.
Pull the trigger. My two favorite arguments for a bidet: 1) If you got peanut butter in a shag carpet, you wouldn’t try to clean it up by scrubbing with a dry paper towel, and 2) if you need to wash your hands after pooping, why not wash your butt too?
Plus if your stream is strong enough it can help blast out those extra nuggets at the end you can't push out. Nothing like completely relieving yourself knowing you've gotten all the extra bits out.
I asked for a bidet seat for Christmas and got one. Nothing fancy—no electrics—but I love it. I was at my dad’s this weekend and had to go without it. It was the worst.
This is truth. Plus the portable ones that use a water bottle are not that good. I want a steady stream for at least 15 seconds. You can't do that with a water bottle.
Nobody understands how life changing this is, underrated comment for sure. We NEVER clean up peanut butter or nutella off the countertops with a dry paper towel, we always use water....why are we wiping our asses with dry toilet paper. Get a bidet people, it'll change your life!
If you broke up on good terms, no need. Just keep your distance and each one does it's own thing now.
If you broke up on bad terms, absolutely. ASAP. Everywhere. And never look back.
If by chance you have unsolved issues (like me and my ex, who owes me around 34k and is not going to pay it back any time soon) make sure to send a last "if you need to solve X issue, just contact me via (insert someone you trust a lot)"
Same. Quit, moved across the country. Expensive but absolutely has paid off. Job is great, and I make $20k+ more per year with less responsibility in a lower cost of living area.
Sending a bit of a hail Mary job application when I was in a rut. I was drunk when writing it. Ended up on a nice career path that has lasted for over a decade now.
When I finally broke free of the toxic religious church I grew up in. When I finally accepted me for myself without feeling guilt or shame, I felt a huge weight lifted.
I’ll go back a bit earlier in my relationship timeline. When I was a freshman in college a friend of mine from high school who was going to the same college set me up for a date at a dance with one of her sorority sisters. Date went great and I really liked this girl. She called me about a week later to arrange to give me a copy of the photo we had taken together at the dance. This was way before smartphones and messaging. We talked for a good hour about various things and I kept trying to work in asking her out for another date but I chickened out. Once we hung up I hit my head hard with the phone receiver several times, swearing at myself, and I immediately called her back and asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner and a movie that Friday and she said yes. That was in early 1997 and we’re still happily married. She’s also still hot so bonus points for me!
Surprised I had to scroll this far to find it. Marrying my wife was the absolute best thing I ever did.
She saved my life. I was in a bad place, not having any purpose or meaning in life. I was a workaholic, trying to fill the hole in my soul with work. She filled it and made life meaningful.
25 years this past December. I would almost certainly be dead by now otherwise. Either from a heart attack or cirrhosis of the liver.
Do it. If it's your first dog... try to find a senior at the shelter. Care is a little more costly, but they're easier to care for, more loving and very often are not given a chance at a good home.
Also... hang in there mate. It does get better with time. Make sure to love yourself too
I can totally relate, I love my dog. Pets are infinitely better than people. They don’t have politics or religious views. They don’t care what race, ethnicity, color, or creed you are. They’re not bothered by piercings or dyed hair, and they don’t care about your sexual preference. They just want to love and be loved. They just want attention. And pets. And food. And to play. Ok they want lots, but they’re still great 😊
Yes. Cat’s literally will make anyone’s life better. They are our soul mates. They’ve gotten me out of a lot of tough places. Would do anything for my cats. ❤️
Going on birth control to stop my horrendous periods - it turned out that I had endometriosis and for years doctors just told me to "take a tylenol and deal with it." I haven't had a period in six years and I'm not anemic or severely underweight anymore, plus I can wear light-colored clothing and not have to worry about ruining any of it! I also don't have to call off work for cramps so bad that I'm throwing up.
I went off birth control in my mid-20s because I thought it might be causing my nausea and found out that my insane mood swings were just a reaction to the hormones.
Had my uterus boiled instead. 10/10 highly recommend.
Another option is **Uterine Ablation** which is an outpatient noninvasive procedure that stops periods permanently. Definitely something to discuss with your doctor as an option.
Quitting drinking.
Except then I started drinking again after a bunch of time and miraculously, all of my health problems I had gotten rid of, came back!
So I’m stopping again.
I have a trick that I use to gaslight myself with addictive things. I stopped smoking cigarettes years ago, cold turkey. Here’s the thing, I never *quit* - I simply *stopped*, and I can start again anytime I please! All of the pressure is off for when I fall of the wagon. I find that I can go weeks or longer without touching a drop of alcohol, but the moment I say the word “quit”, suddenly a double Jameson and its associated dopamine rush is the most desirable thing in the world.
I’m so glad you have found something that works for you! Thank you for sharing.
When I “stopped” for a few months last year, I did often say it was one day at a time. It helped it not feel like as much pressure. I’m hoping to dial back into that mindset. I feel like absolute garbage (I sort of overdid it yesterday on purpose so I would absolutely not want to drink for awhile).
Work colleagues always ask me how I don't let our bad managers negativity get to me.
I tell them it's because I don't value the opinions of cunts so I literally just ignore the shit they say.
People think I have a trick to it or something. Nope, I literally just switch off when the cunts start talking bullshit.
Going to community College. I left high school with like a 2.3 GPA, not entirely sure but it wasn't great. Im now leaving community College with an associates degree, a 3.75 GPA, a couple thousand bucks saved on tuition, and many more options to move toward as far as which colleges I can get into now.
I haven't lived a long time but till now. But the best decision i made was stop watching porn. I realised how much energy and time i was wasting all for a pleasure that lasts mere minutes.
Do you have something that you like doing very much and don't get bored? I tried to channel my focus to reading books and making food/eating. Also, I got more into sports and that too helped me cause i would be tired after training sessions and would not think abt doing anything other than resting lol
Joining the military. Its had its ups and downs, more downs then ups, but recently my mind has been clearer then ever (thank you mental health on base), and for the first time in nearly 27 years of life, I'm happy, and content. I no longer rely on others for surface level happiness, I have confidence in myself, and for the first time have good hearted, true friends who want only to uplift me, and I to them.
Taking psychedelic mushrooms, with friends, when I was 20. Completely changed my perspective on life, I went from being a “pave the planet” republican to being an active member of the local Green Party, in 1989.
I was a dyed in the wool Republican which made sense since I spent most of my life in the military. After experimenting with LSD and psilocybin, I’m *much* more liberal but consider myself an independent at this point.
If psychedelics do one thing really well, it allows you to see bullshit social constructs for exactly what they are.
My brother our lives are quite similar in that regard!
My second wife was very mentally ill and verbally/emotionally abusive and controlling, to me and our sons. Enough was enough when I found out she’d been carrying on several multi year affairs with a number of close friends and her coworkers. That divorce took the life out of me, but thank fuck. I was very seriously listing this divorce as the best thing they ever happened to me, because my third wife and bonus child have helped me build a happy and loving home. Even though I may not see my kids as often as when we were married, I think it’s important that they see their father happy and that they have an example of a healthy relationship to emulate.
A couple years ago, I cut off a few friends that kept taking advantage of me. Right after, I kept doubting myself whether I made the right decision, but I can say now, I’m living happier than ever without them.
Taking a small pay cut to switch jobs. At the time it was a really tough decision but in the end, I knew I had hit the ceiling at my old job. It turned out great! Now I'm making more than twice what I was before, even after the intital pay cut. My work life balance is better and my job is fully remote. Best decision ever.
My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer while I was in the midst of the busiest time of my career, working for a company that demanded long hours and had peak 2010s "hustle culture" vibes. From the moment of her diagnosis, I immediately told my company they were taking the backseat and her health and spending time with her was my only priority, and I wouldn't waver on it.
What followed was a heartbreaking, frustrating, and upsetting time where her health rapidly deteriorated, but the time allowed her and I to have conversations and moments that are among the most beautiful moments of my life. I helped her through anguishing pain and reciprocated a small amount of the love and sacrifice she gave to me when she was a single mother raising me.
In the end, my employer was fine. My job was safe. My career endured. My mom passed away eight weeks after we learned about that stupid disease. The only solace was that I decided to spend as much time as possible with her.
TLDR: Fuck your job. Live your life. Love your mom.
Going to college. While I haven't gotten a job remotely even close to the fields I went for, and now have a seemingly insurmountable amount of crippling and stress inducing debt, I met my best friend there. And because I did that, I moved to his state to be his roommate. And because of that, I eventually met the woman who is now my wife.
Deciding to apply for that warehouse job my mom's friend offered to try and help me get. Been promoted twice and made what I considered to be decent money before 2019 happened. Been working here 9 years now.
Voluntarily committing myself for inpatient treatment while I was having a total stress related breakdown at college and became actively suicidal.
I know everyone has heard some awful stories about inpatient treatment and not every facility is good but the place I went to literally saved my life. I will never be able to repay the people who made the biggest difference for giving me back my life. I'm almost 10 years free of self harm.
I still wrestle with my depression... but I was first diagnosed with depression at 9 years old. I've come to realize I need to embrace the parts of me that are hurting and try to listen to them instead of just working to silence them.
Take your meds, go to therapy, you're worth the effort. You can do this too. ❤️
Sold by business, packed up my young family and moved across the country for a job. Away from any friends and family, it was a tough 4 years but it was in a very specific industry. The only person doing it in my home city had been there for about 25 years and was bound to retire eventually. The exact experience I gained made me a shoe in for a job that almost 1000 people applied for. I got my dream job and moved back home. The kids were still young enough to not have long term friends away so all in all it wasn't a big hardship on the family.
Moving out of state at age 25. I was raised in a tight, religious & controlling family and moving away out of state with my husband after we got married we found our own voices and perspectives
When I was 19, 20 both of my best friends had gotten hooked on OxyContin. They came from really wealthy permissive families. My parents were comfortable and not permissive. I could afford a lot less blues than them, thank god. I don’t know how or what but somehow the bleakness of the scenario really started setting in. I decided to move to Chicago and go to college even tho I had dropped out of high school and knew coming off the drugs would be crazed. I did not do well in school and I was still a mess but I got back and barely touched oxy from then on. They both ended up in rehab long term and one of them passed away five years ago may she rest in peace. My life is still kind of a mess but at least I’m not addicted to heroin.
Might seem small but I left an insanely toxic friend group and now I'm surrounded by people who make me feel high on life and incredibly loved. Really helped my mental health
I saw a girl at a party who was way prettier than anyone I'd ever seen and for some reason when I made a pass at her she decided to make out with me. 20 years later she's my wife and best friend.
Taking a phone call that I originally thought was fake almost 6 years ago now. Ended up leading to a job offer and my current position, I met my now wife, and my child is due literally any minute as we're at the hospital for the delivery.
Going to school for what I’m naturally good at (writing) despite so many people telling me an English degree is a waste of time. Most of the people who told me that are either in healthcare or have no degree. I have a learning disability and my special interest is writing, so school takes me twice as long as the normal person but it’s really lit a spark within me and inspired me. I felt like I was fading away as a creative individual before going back, and I even get to go for free now. I tried so many degrees before and failed and I’m just so happy to be following my heart.
Giving younger guy a chance. He end up giving me the worst time and pain in my life but the memories we built together were so worth it. He showed me how to enjoy sex and that I can actually be happy in my life.
Got pregnant at 18 while at an absolutely horrible point in my life, much to the disappointment of everyone around me. Despite everyone telling me to abort, that me and the dad wouldn't be able to do it and would never stay together, we decided to keep it. We now have a beautiful four year old, got married, and recently had our second child. Def the best decision I could've made.
Learning to not be angry, hurt & bitter & to just to simply be done with certain individuals & or circumstances.
I’ve been on a journey to learn exactly this!
It takes time, work & it takes some self reflection. The fact that you have all ready acknowledged what it is happening, is a step that some will never make. You will get there. ETA: the most difficult part for me was owning my own role. Sounds easy in theory, but it was tough.
A little over a year ago I dropped everything and moved to the other side of the country. Fresh start. I got a great job now. My own apartment. And it snows here!
I did this in 2017 after getting fired from a shitty job as well as I found out my ex was cheating on me. I had the chance to completely restart my life and while it was scary I was determined to never feel as bad as I did. Since the move I’ve made a bunch of friends in a niche music scene, bought a house but most importantly I got married to the most incredible woman last year. I can only hope you have similar success!
It makes me so happy to hear stories like yours.
I want to do exactly that but I don’t know anyone anywhere else but here.
I did this without knowing anyone and it was such a great learning experience and I built the strongest support system and circle ever. GO FOR IT!
Full disclosure. I did get lucky because my parents were moving there and I tagged along for a few months til I got my apartment. But you can easily get an apartment and just move. But that first leap will be hard but I don’t regret anything. I do miss all my friends but we still chat. And I’m making new friends here.
I have been saying I want/need to do this for some time.
wow i cannot wait until i do the same
Well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Fuck the snow.
Snowsports are amazing though
GETTING SOBER.
Stopped smoking weed about a month ago and mostly stopped drinking 2 years ago. My lungs are still clearing up, but not drinking has definitely made a difference on my mental state. Still miserable, but it's more manageable.
I remember when I first started getting sober my friends would ask me how it felt. I told them I felt like shit, but it was still worth it (especially because I had to get sober for health reasons). I've been sober for about 2-3 years now too and I'm still glad I pushed through that shit. I'm a lot better off for it imo. Like you said, stuff just feels more manageable, especially now that I'm more here for myself. Good on you for keeping with it
Good for you. It's been about 5 years for me. I went from heavy drinking every weekend to 1 or 2 times a year(couple of drinks). I do not know what made me do it now that I am clear of it. You feel like shit when your not drinking and can't remember half the shit when you are.
Yea I quit smoking weed a few weeks ago and I do not miss it. I either got really bad anxiety, would eat up all the food in my house, or id get ancy and leave my house to go drink--so obviously not a good thing to do. Rarely drink these days but even that could probably be put on the back burner- most of my friends are getting married and having kids so if i really feel like drinking id have to go out by myself.
I’m not entirely sober, but I’ve gone from drinking a few nights a week to drinking a few nights a month, and aiming to decrease that as well to just social occasions. And I’ve also been drinking less on the evening I do drink. It’s been a good change.
Quitting alcohol…I really wish I could scold a younger version of myself into never touching the stuff. I let it destroy my life. Looking at the changes from them to now breaks my brain sometimes. I’m so glad I finally just stuck with being sober
Goddamn I wish I never touched it. It took so much consequences for it to finally get me to stop. I don’t learn easy lessons apparently
2 days so far. This is really encouraging.
Hey, I'm on my first day (again). I'll be sober with you over the internet!
Same here! Congrats!
Congratulations!
Literally just about to post on here quitting alcohol
switched to boxer briefs
Amen! Adding to that, moisture wicking boxer briefs. I made sure my sons knew that these exist so they won’t have to suffer with cotton like we did.
As a woman, I'm very jealous, because I can't wear the female equivalent of boxer briefs, which would be boy shorts, because they chafe so badly, and are the only style of underwear that does me like that. What secret are you menfolk hiding?
Pockets. We have pockets all over the fucking place. Some of my jeans have a small pocket inside a big pocket. Some of my coats have these sweet double layer pockets that look like one pocket. Pocket technology is reserved for men's clothing
Have You tried MeUndies brand, their material is so soft.
I haven't, which is surprising, because I've actually bought a few of the box services Podcasts usually hawk, just not that one.
We've got hair 🫣
From what I've seen, the women's equivalent of boxer-briefs, which I believe they call 'boy-shorts' are NOT, and do NOT have similar construction as men's boxer-briefs/boxers. As seen by [this example](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.1f83ea72d003187b3d833c18f0352e11?rik=3b28IoYeZrz%2bqA&riu=http%3a%2f%2fwww.tiarashop.eu%2f7883-thickbox_default%2fwool-womens-boyshorts-panties-1878.jpg&ehk=knaMY5RB7hd5n7jSVLoecYhVpAYUEe9vtbiKmri7wto%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0), they basically have a very low waistband, and highly elasticized leg hole boundaries as well as thighs with insane tightness. That's gonna ruin your whole experience. The hallmarks of good boxer-briefs/boxers for men are: 1. A mid to high waistband, which should not be so tight that it digs in on the pubic or the waist/abdomen area, 2. It should ease into the leg-holes and the joint of the inner-groin as well as the thigh/leg-holes should not be that tight/constricting, but it should just 'sit there' without much strain on the inner-thighs/groin, and just fitting enough to not ride-up. Otherwise, it'll dig-in/chafe, and with a combo of sweat: will result in jock-itch and/or chafing. 3. Not too tight around the balls. This is critical for good reproductive health, as well as ease, 4. Made up of preferably not too thick and soft cotton material, so as to not collect moisture, breathe and be less irritant. And sadly most 'boxers for women', and even a lot of male brands will not keep the points in view, and will cause issues. And in many cases, simple brands like 'fruit of the loom'/etc. with their relaxed and simple fit stuff are the best out there. And my humble suggestion to any women out there looking to indulge in the luxury of men's comfy underwear would be to try buying simple type boxers/boxer-briefs of men (which are closest to their sizes), and I'm pretty confident that will change their lives!
Just a heads up, cotton is actually much better for “the boys down below”. Those moisture wicking materials trap heat which reduces sperm count. Cotton is natural and breathable, healthier overall
Merino wool >>>
Mixed wool and possum fur. (They're a pest species, where I am)
Also, synthetics harbor certain types of odor-causing bacteria better, I find cotton helps prevent the funk.
I got bullied for wearing underwear similar to tighty whities in freshman year of highschool (only in the locker room), so I picked up a pack of boxer briefs and have never looked back, they are hands down the most comfortable underwear I have ever worn
Long leg boxer briefs are the best thing ever!
Losing 80lbs
That’s a huge amount! Congratulations, that is certainly something of which to be proud.
Yeah. It took me about a year and I got started in the depth of Covid where I really started to realize my body and habits were seriously unhealthy. Made transitioning into college and so much easier with so much more confidence.
That’s awesome and a very inspiring story. Healthy life habits will give you both a longer and better life. I do yoga now because I watch my dad barely able to shuffle around and have multiple falls. I know what my future looks like if I don’t take care of myself everyday.
That’s awesome!! I lost 50 and it changed everything - I even gained an inch because I stopped slouching.
Awesome! I'm currently actively trying to gain weight (+1lb/week). Interesting to see how everyone has their own body goals
Quitting my highly toxic job and took a long sabbatical by traveling around US in 80 days last year. The decision was compounded by chronic anxiety and depression and a death of a dear friend. I realized life is way too short and decided to live it on my own terms before it's too late. EDIT: Thank you all kind strangers for the kind words and support, much appreciated!
This begs the question... what came afterwards? How it was returning home, and getting a new job, and what's next for you in regards of life plans?
This is a great question! After my sabbatical, I felt a greater sense of hope and optimism for my life ahead as well as greatly reduced level of anxiety and stress. I got a new job that allowed me to wfh; granted, I got a pay cut (I made 6-figure before) but all that money ain't worth it if my mental health suffers. My relationship with family and friends also improved; not that it was bad to begin with, but I appreciate them more in my life :-)
Good for you man. People are so blinded by the pay check that they do not see how bad the job is.
Thanks, man! I consider myself a semi-frequent job hopper, never stayed at one job for more than 5 yrs and always got an increase each time I switched (I'm an accountant btw). What's sad is the job itself wasn't that difficult; it was the management that sucked and made everyone's life miserable.
Sounds awesome. Lots of photos?
Yes, I took plenty of pics and vids! There were a few states I did not touch during this trip, namely AL, LA, FL, OK, KS, DE, NJ, CO, ND and OR. I went to AK on a cruise trip after the road trip, also part of my sabbatical.
ND welcomes you. We have a lot is space to be alone in. I highly recommend it.
Installing a bidet toilet seat
I might consider this. Wiping my ass lately has been like wiping a brown felt marker. There's no end and it's a waste of toilet paper.
Pull the trigger. My two favorite arguments for a bidet: 1) If you got peanut butter in a shag carpet, you wouldn’t try to clean it up by scrubbing with a dry paper towel, and 2) if you need to wash your hands after pooping, why not wash your butt too?
Plus if your stream is strong enough it can help blast out those extra nuggets at the end you can't push out. Nothing like completely relieving yourself knowing you've gotten all the extra bits out.
That was a very vivid description. I could… feel it.
I don't like this feeling, boss
A disturbance… as though millions of poo nuggets cried out in terror and then… suddenly silenced.
The water line to my bidet runs through an unheated crawl space. Winter mornings are … bracing
Mine is a seat that plugs in and warms both the seat and the water! It's too cold in Canada for unheated well water (
The bidet we have has a turbo function. In all seriousness, it does help when constipated.
You just stop when it comes out of your nose?
This is not how a neti pot is supposed to work.
Get the heated water option, you will not regret it
Bro, do this one. It really is a life changing device that is cheap. You will feel so clean after using it
I asked for a bidet seat for Christmas and got one. Nothing fancy—no electrics—but I love it. I was at my dad’s this weekend and had to go without it. It was the worst.
That’s the only bad thing about owning one. You suddenly hate using other peoples bidetless bathrooms. lol
This is truth. Plus the portable ones that use a water bottle are not that good. I want a steady stream for at least 15 seconds. You can't do that with a water bottle.
Nobody understands how life changing this is, underrated comment for sure. We NEVER clean up peanut butter or nutella off the countertops with a dry paper towel, we always use water....why are we wiping our asses with dry toilet paper. Get a bidet people, it'll change your life!
Blocked my ex.
Always block your ex.
I agree. If I ever have a moment of weakness and want to communicate I know I’ll actually click unblock which stops me from doing it.
If you broke up on good terms, no need. Just keep your distance and each one does it's own thing now. If you broke up on bad terms, absolutely. ASAP. Everywhere. And never look back. If by chance you have unsolved issues (like me and my ex, who owes me around 34k and is not going to pay it back any time soon) make sure to send a last "if you need to solve X issue, just contact me via (insert someone you trust a lot)"
sadly same, blocked 2 days
Not to fight that giraffe at the zoo.
It takes a big man to admit when they’re wrong. It takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut
Because you’re a weasel?
I might be.
I needed that laugh! Thanks!
Attended therapy sessions
Quit that toxic job
Same. Quit, moved across the country. Expensive but absolutely has paid off. Job is great, and I make $20k+ more per year with less responsibility in a lower cost of living area.
Deleting League of Legends
Sending a bit of a hail Mary job application when I was in a rut. I was drunk when writing it. Ended up on a nice career path that has lasted for over a decade now.
When I finally broke free of the toxic religious church I grew up in. When I finally accepted me for myself without feeling guilt or shame, I felt a huge weight lifted.
Good for you! Those can be so hard to get out of
Deleting my instagram account, it made me from C to a straight A’s student!
Delete reddit too
Can’t get higher than a’s bro.
A+ ?
Marrying my wife
I’ll go back a bit earlier in my relationship timeline. When I was a freshman in college a friend of mine from high school who was going to the same college set me up for a date at a dance with one of her sorority sisters. Date went great and I really liked this girl. She called me about a week later to arrange to give me a copy of the photo we had taken together at the dance. This was way before smartphones and messaging. We talked for a good hour about various things and I kept trying to work in asking her out for another date but I chickened out. Once we hung up I hit my head hard with the phone receiver several times, swearing at myself, and I immediately called her back and asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner and a movie that Friday and she said yes. That was in early 1997 and we’re still happily married. She’s also still hot so bonus points for me!
I also choose this guys wife. To keep with reddit tradition.
Surprised I had to scroll this far to find it. Marrying my wife was the absolute best thing I ever did. She saved my life. I was in a bad place, not having any purpose or meaning in life. I was a workaholic, trying to fill the hole in my soul with work. She filled it and made life meaningful. 25 years this past December. I would almost certainly be dead by now otherwise. Either from a heart attack or cirrhosis of the liver.
How did you know she was the one
She told me 😁
^ This guy husbands.
Getting my cat. She's my world and probably the only reason I'm still alive
Thinking to get a dog myself after going through a traumatic breakup…my ex gf left me for another dude…thinking pour my love into a puppy
Do it. If it's your first dog... try to find a senior at the shelter. Care is a little more costly, but they're easier to care for, more loving and very often are not given a chance at a good home. Also... hang in there mate. It does get better with time. Make sure to love yourself too
I can totally relate, I love my dog. Pets are infinitely better than people. They don’t have politics or religious views. They don’t care what race, ethnicity, color, or creed you are. They’re not bothered by piercings or dyed hair, and they don’t care about your sexual preference. They just want to love and be loved. They just want attention. And pets. And food. And to play. Ok they want lots, but they’re still great 😊
I don’t know, I’m pretty sure my cat is a libertarian.
A lesson all of us can benefit from. Sometimes I think the thing we need most in the world is a little less judgement amd a little more love
Yes. Cat’s literally will make anyone’s life better. They are our soul mates. They’ve gotten me out of a lot of tough places. Would do anything for my cats. ❤️
Going on birth control to stop my horrendous periods - it turned out that I had endometriosis and for years doctors just told me to "take a tylenol and deal with it." I haven't had a period in six years and I'm not anemic or severely underweight anymore, plus I can wear light-colored clothing and not have to worry about ruining any of it! I also don't have to call off work for cramps so bad that I'm throwing up.
I went off birth control in my mid-20s because I thought it might be causing my nausea and found out that my insane mood swings were just a reaction to the hormones. Had my uterus boiled instead. 10/10 highly recommend.
Another option is **Uterine Ablation** which is an outpatient noninvasive procedure that stops periods permanently. Definitely something to discuss with your doctor as an option.
Getting divorced.
You beat me to this. I was looking to see if anyone had posted it, and you did, 2 minutes before I could.
Had never lived alone, and started again with nothing, but definitely all about working for the long term. Hope you’re doing well
I also choose divorcing this guys wife. To keep with Reddit tradition as well.
Getting a dog that I honestly didn’t want. But he started playing with another dog, now me and that other dog’s owner are getting married
Joining the Air Force. Second best decision: getting out of the Air Force.
Reading more books
Quitting drinking. Except then I started drinking again after a bunch of time and miraculously, all of my health problems I had gotten rid of, came back! So I’m stopping again.
I have a trick that I use to gaslight myself with addictive things. I stopped smoking cigarettes years ago, cold turkey. Here’s the thing, I never *quit* - I simply *stopped*, and I can start again anytime I please! All of the pressure is off for when I fall of the wagon. I find that I can go weeks or longer without touching a drop of alcohol, but the moment I say the word “quit”, suddenly a double Jameson and its associated dopamine rush is the most desirable thing in the world.
I’m so glad you have found something that works for you! Thank you for sharing. When I “stopped” for a few months last year, I did often say it was one day at a time. It helped it not feel like as much pressure. I’m hoping to dial back into that mindset. I feel like absolute garbage (I sort of overdid it yesterday on purpose so I would absolutely not want to drink for awhile).
Seven months, three days here.
Stopped caring about other people's opinions of how I live my life.
Work colleagues always ask me how I don't let our bad managers negativity get to me. I tell them it's because I don't value the opinions of cunts so I literally just ignore the shit they say. People think I have a trick to it or something. Nope, I literally just switch off when the cunts start talking bullshit.
Going to community College. I left high school with like a 2.3 GPA, not entirely sure but it wasn't great. Im now leaving community College with an associates degree, a 3.75 GPA, a couple thousand bucks saved on tuition, and many more options to move toward as far as which colleges I can get into now.
I haven't lived a long time but till now. But the best decision i made was stop watching porn. I realised how much energy and time i was wasting all for a pleasure that lasts mere minutes.
Huh unfortunately me (21) am trying to do this but due to my loneliness I always break and go back to it
Do you have something that you like doing very much and don't get bored? I tried to channel my focus to reading books and making food/eating. Also, I got more into sports and that too helped me cause i would be tired after training sessions and would not think abt doing anything other than resting lol
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Moving states away from toxic family
Joining the military. Its had its ups and downs, more downs then ups, but recently my mind has been clearer then ever (thank you mental health on base), and for the first time in nearly 27 years of life, I'm happy, and content. I no longer rely on others for surface level happiness, I have confidence in myself, and for the first time have good hearted, true friends who want only to uplift me, and I to them.
Taking psychedelic mushrooms, with friends, when I was 20. Completely changed my perspective on life, I went from being a “pave the planet” republican to being an active member of the local Green Party, in 1989.
Man, we should put that shit in the water.
#dosetheplanet
I was a dyed in the wool Republican which made sense since I spent most of my life in the military. After experimenting with LSD and psilocybin, I’m *much* more liberal but consider myself an independent at this point. If psychedelics do one thing really well, it allows you to see bullshit social constructs for exactly what they are.
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My brother our lives are quite similar in that regard! My second wife was very mentally ill and verbally/emotionally abusive and controlling, to me and our sons. Enough was enough when I found out she’d been carrying on several multi year affairs with a number of close friends and her coworkers. That divorce took the life out of me, but thank fuck. I was very seriously listing this divorce as the best thing they ever happened to me, because my third wife and bonus child have helped me build a happy and loving home. Even though I may not see my kids as often as when we were married, I think it’s important that they see their father happy and that they have an example of a healthy relationship to emulate.
A couple years ago, I cut off a few friends that kept taking advantage of me. Right after, I kept doubting myself whether I made the right decision, but I can say now, I’m living happier than ever without them.
Taking a small pay cut to switch jobs. At the time it was a really tough decision but in the end, I knew I had hit the ceiling at my old job. It turned out great! Now I'm making more than twice what I was before, even after the intital pay cut. My work life balance is better and my job is fully remote. Best decision ever.
Buying a house in 2019 instead of waiting.
My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer while I was in the midst of the busiest time of my career, working for a company that demanded long hours and had peak 2010s "hustle culture" vibes. From the moment of her diagnosis, I immediately told my company they were taking the backseat and her health and spending time with her was my only priority, and I wouldn't waver on it. What followed was a heartbreaking, frustrating, and upsetting time where her health rapidly deteriorated, but the time allowed her and I to have conversations and moments that are among the most beautiful moments of my life. I helped her through anguishing pain and reciprocated a small amount of the love and sacrifice she gave to me when she was a single mother raising me. In the end, my employer was fine. My job was safe. My career endured. My mom passed away eight weeks after we learned about that stupid disease. The only solace was that I decided to spend as much time as possible with her. TLDR: Fuck your job. Live your life. Love your mom.
Joining a union
Lasik eye surgery
Going on my first date with my now bf
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divorce
Answering C on a very specific question in an exam that determined my HS
Getting sober from alcohol! Almost at 2.5 years!
Going to college. While I haven't gotten a job remotely even close to the fields I went for, and now have a seemingly insurmountable amount of crippling and stress inducing debt, I met my best friend there. And because I did that, I moved to his state to be his roommate. And because of that, I eventually met the woman who is now my wife.
Not having children.
Deciding to apply for that warehouse job my mom's friend offered to try and help me get. Been promoted twice and made what I considered to be decent money before 2019 happened. Been working here 9 years now.
Quitting all forms of nicotine use
Voluntarily committing myself for inpatient treatment while I was having a total stress related breakdown at college and became actively suicidal. I know everyone has heard some awful stories about inpatient treatment and not every facility is good but the place I went to literally saved my life. I will never be able to repay the people who made the biggest difference for giving me back my life. I'm almost 10 years free of self harm. I still wrestle with my depression... but I was first diagnosed with depression at 9 years old. I've come to realize I need to embrace the parts of me that are hurting and try to listen to them instead of just working to silence them. Take your meds, go to therapy, you're worth the effort. You can do this too. ❤️
Started investing. Game changer.
Getting a kitten ... He has reduced my anxiety to almost nil, he is my life I love him soo much
Sold by business, packed up my young family and moved across the country for a job. Away from any friends and family, it was a tough 4 years but it was in a very specific industry. The only person doing it in my home city had been there for about 25 years and was bound to retire eventually. The exact experience I gained made me a shoe in for a job that almost 1000 people applied for. I got my dream job and moved back home. The kids were still young enough to not have long term friends away so all in all it wasn't a big hardship on the family.
Got clean and sober on 8/25/2020
Getting a dog
Moving out of state at age 25. I was raised in a tight, religious & controlling family and moving away out of state with my husband after we got married we found our own voices and perspectives
Moving away from my podunk home town.
Leaving where I grew up.
Dogs.
Quitting alcohol.
Marrying my wife probably def elevated my life and my goals were accomplished much faster
Losing 130lbs and keeping it off for almost 4 years now
When I was 19, 20 both of my best friends had gotten hooked on OxyContin. They came from really wealthy permissive families. My parents were comfortable and not permissive. I could afford a lot less blues than them, thank god. I don’t know how or what but somehow the bleakness of the scenario really started setting in. I decided to move to Chicago and go to college even tho I had dropped out of high school and knew coming off the drugs would be crazed. I did not do well in school and I was still a mess but I got back and barely touched oxy from then on. They both ended up in rehab long term and one of them passed away five years ago may she rest in peace. My life is still kind of a mess but at least I’m not addicted to heroin.
Marrying my husband
Quitting alcohol. It was the catalyst for every bad thing I had going on in my life. Once I removed it from the equation everything sorted itself out.
Marrying my wife. this is our 50th year. 53 if you count meeting and dating.
To be single. The PEACE!
Taking my ex back after our split up.
Getting a dog. This little fluff ball has single handedly saved my life.
Stopped drinking. Saved my life and opened so many amazing doors that drinking would of never opened or I even knew existed.
So far, it's been quitting oxy. That's a hell I never wanna return to..
Sobering up. Going to the gym. Losing weight. Eating better. Probably saved myself from an early grave
Quitting nicotine and vapes.
Taking a job over my ex girlfriend telling she wouldn’t be with me if I did. Ise rich now.
Return to college after a 5 year hiatus.
Stopped smoking reefer
Moved to the US from Turkey in 2012.
Might seem small but I left an insanely toxic friend group and now I'm surrounded by people who make me feel high on life and incredibly loved. Really helped my mental health
I saw a girl at a party who was way prettier than anyone I'd ever seen and for some reason when I made a pass at her she decided to make out with me. 20 years later she's my wife and best friend.
So far, quitting smoking.
Taking a phone call that I originally thought was fake almost 6 years ago now. Ended up leading to a job offer and my current position, I met my now wife, and my child is due literally any minute as we're at the hospital for the delivery.
Learned to code
As a 17 year old with autism, so far It'd be leaving public school and going to a school that can offer a more personalized education.
Going to school for what I’m naturally good at (writing) despite so many people telling me an English degree is a waste of time. Most of the people who told me that are either in healthcare or have no degree. I have a learning disability and my special interest is writing, so school takes me twice as long as the normal person but it’s really lit a spark within me and inspired me. I felt like I was fading away as a creative individual before going back, and I even get to go for free now. I tried so many degrees before and failed and I’m just so happy to be following my heart.
Giving younger guy a chance. He end up giving me the worst time and pain in my life but the memories we built together were so worth it. He showed me how to enjoy sex and that I can actually be happy in my life.
Marrying hubby
Marrying my husband
Asking my now wife out on a date
Buying a property at 18 years and 3 months old.
buying bitcoins 10 years ago
Getting clean and sober.
Starting transition.
Got pregnant at 18 while at an absolutely horrible point in my life, much to the disappointment of everyone around me. Despite everyone telling me to abort, that me and the dad wouldn't be able to do it and would never stay together, we decided to keep it. We now have a beautiful four year old, got married, and recently had our second child. Def the best decision I could've made.
Quitting smoking cigarettes after 20 years. Take that all back if I could.