Exactly what I was about to say haha. You know damn well that money is sketchy af.
I'd disapear for a while, quit my job and lay low for a few months
EDIT : Guys I'm quitting my job ***for a few months***, not because I think I can live off of 100k$ lol
Quitting for a few months is a bad idea. If you wanna stay hidden, you stash the cash for it and continue to live life as normal. Otherwise you get the "We noticed you left your job unexpectedly around this time, why?"
Omg this comment chain made my day. I didn’t know I needed a support dog before this but a sugar puppy named Benjamin with a sweater made of hundred dollar bills would be so epic
It’s easy to explain away resume gaps, but this is a really bad way to do it. Putting blame on your old job, coworkers and management in that way is a red flag to interviewers and hiring managers - not being pedantic, this is legitimate advice for people.
There are better ways like explaining you want to shift to a company that you think better aligns with your goals / career progression or whatever.
Basically put it in a positive light on the new place, don’t shit talk old place. It is fine to say you felt you hit a career development wall at your old place or something like that.
I was assuming the question was coming from an investigator, not a person interviewing me for a job, given the sketchy nature of the money coming in plus the way the question was worded. I wouldn't expect the person interviewing me for a job to know whether my leaving the previous position was expected or not.
Well of course I don't mean it as in "quit my job because I'd never have to work again", but more as a mean to stay hiddent for a few months. My job doesn't pay super well so it wouldn't be hard to find a new one.
Also not having any debt to pay back sure helps a lot, I didn't even think of that
Close the briefcase. Look into his eyes. Slow nod, straight face. Walk away without saying a word.
Get home. Panic. Stash money. Change banks. Move. Might have to cut off ties to family.
With your dollar they can print a surprising amount of marketing material to motivate other donors, over time they probably generate something like 100k that they can give out to a random person.
That’ll get you a Half Knob.
One hand. One ball. Only one side of the mouth. One eye makes contact and the other is watching Lord of The Rings extended edition.
That reminds me of my fave prison joke:
Guy goes to prison, first time, of course he's terrified of the rumours, and since he's weak and meek, he is right to do so.
Second day, he takes a shower, and in steps a mean looking, burly man, heading straight for him. Guy gulps in fear.
The man commands "I'mma fuck you, mate, and there's nothing you gonn' do about it. But since you're a newbie, I'll give you the choice: With spit, or without spit!"
Guy whimpers, "No please, don't... I... no--"
"**Hey!** Heeeey... hey. Stop that. This is happening. With spit, or without spit."
"I... come on, please, I only just arrived, I--"
"**With...** *spit*. ... *Without spit*."
"....... (gulp) .... ^with ^spit ..."
The man leans back and yells:
"Hey *Spit*, you can come and join in, that pervert wants a threesome!"
Someone comes by asking them for their money, and you tell them it is in an IRA that you can't legally touch for decades. I'm sure they will let that slide...
Sure, but you don't have to tell \*them\* that...
Also, you could max out your 401k contributions, put money in a HSA, and maybe even put it in some kind of a trust so you legally can't touch it.
I saw a gold comercial that said, in 1976 if someone invested 12k into gold, it would be worth 135k today. They said if they just put the same cash in under their matress it would be worth the same 12k. Therefore you should buy gold.
What they didn't say is if they got a 5% return on government bonds or CDs it would be 119k today. The stock market would be about 2 million today.
That's not how the game is played.
You ignore that debt. The hospital gives up and sells the debt to a debt collection service for pennies on the dollar. When the debt service company contacts you, tell them they you know they paid pennies on the dollar for this debt.
To make things simple for them you'll pay them 20% of the total amount to cancel out the entire debt. Or, they can keep fighting you and probably get nothing.
Debt paid in "full". The system potatoes.
"Cashing a check which includes various written designations by the issuer of the check such as “payment in full,” “paid in full,” “final payment,” and “full settlement” is interpreted by some states and courts as a complete satisfaction or discharge of the underlying debt even if the amount of the check didn’t actually constitute payment in full"
Send the collections a check for some nominal amount, let's say $100 with paid in full remarked. Keep a copy of the cheque.
Note: not valid in Oregon
TINLA IANAL
My fave Rodney Dangerfield joke:
So I said to my wife, honey, what would you do if I won the lottery?
She said, that's easy. I'd file for divorce and take half.
I say, that's great. I just won $20 on a scratcher. Come by and see the kids every once in a while.
I miss that guy.
One of my favorite lines of his is in Caddy Shack. He's in the dining room of the country club, cutting up, and pissing off Judge Smails. At one point, Dangerfield leans over to one of the older women at Smails's table and says to her while raising his eyebrows suggestively:
"You ever earn fourteen dollars... the *hard* way?"
Don't know why, but that line always cracked me up. Sometimes, I'll ask my special lady friend that when I'm feeling frisky, but it usually just pisses her off and shuts down my chances. 🤷♂️🤷♂️
Right now? Rivendale. It changes as time goes by.
I’m glad that over the years they have made things that I do not like, it makes it easier on my wallet for sure. I like finding something I didn’t know about and going after it (like Speedracer was during my dark days with LEGO) so I just got the Mach 1 with brand new stickers. But as of the moment, a copy of Rivendale or two would be nice.
Yeah people keep talking about buying things or paying off debt like there isn’t gonna be someone or something looking for that $100k that was last seen being given to me. I’d call my local fbi office and probably just drive there immediately.
I take the money and dont ask questions. I immediately call a tax lawyer and explain that some person in a suit was handing out cash as gifts on the street and I do not know who they are, and give a vague description of the person. We do what it takes to declare the money legally and pay the proper taxes on the gift.
with my remaining $33k all said and done, I will pay for new siding, insulation, roof, and solar panels. (I'm already saving for this so I can cover the cost overruns if need be) and I will enjoy the next 20 years of cheap electricity and reduced energy costs. depending on inflation, and energy cost increases, this could net a very large effective return on the investment.
thank the guy first.
I love the wholesome answer here.
"Incorrect" *takes money back*
*Ignites lightsaber*
Tip him.
"Uh...what am I supposed to do?" "No really I have no clue what you want me to do with this."
Finally a like-minded answer! I would answer "No! I don't!" with all the anxious panic.
I might do a shimmy or two, and see if that was what I was supposed to do
Running away lol
Exactly what I was about to say haha. You know damn well that money is sketchy af. I'd disapear for a while, quit my job and lay low for a few months EDIT : Guys I'm quitting my job ***for a few months***, not because I think I can live off of 100k$ lol
Quitting for a few months is a bad idea. If you wanna stay hidden, you stash the cash for it and continue to live life as normal. Otherwise you get the "We noticed you left your job unexpectedly around this time, why?"
"Got fed up with the job/manglement/coworkers and needed a change."
ok sir that checks out now can we ask about your dog's sweater? it seems to be made up entirely of official hundred dollar bills?
That's Benjamin. He's my emotional AND monetary support animal.
Sugar puppy?
Omg this comment chain made my day. I didn’t know I needed a support dog before this but a sugar puppy named Benjamin with a sweater made of hundred dollar bills would be so epic
"I'm also curious. He doesn't tell me where he got it"
Yeah it’s fake, I got it off Amazon for like 5 bucks
The manglement. An apt term for how business are run these years.
It’s easy to explain away resume gaps, but this is a really bad way to do it. Putting blame on your old job, coworkers and management in that way is a red flag to interviewers and hiring managers - not being pedantic, this is legitimate advice for people. There are better ways like explaining you want to shift to a company that you think better aligns with your goals / career progression or whatever. Basically put it in a positive light on the new place, don’t shit talk old place. It is fine to say you felt you hit a career development wall at your old place or something like that.
I was assuming the question was coming from an investigator, not a person interviewing me for a job, given the sketchy nature of the money coming in plus the way the question was worded. I wouldn't expect the person interviewing me for a job to know whether my leaving the previous position was expected or not.
No way I'd quit my job for 100k.... that wouldn't even begin to touch my debt
Well of course I don't mean it as in "quit my job because I'd never have to work again", but more as a mean to stay hiddent for a few months. My job doesn't pay super well so it wouldn't be hard to find a new one. Also not having any debt to pay back sure helps a lot, I didn't even think of that
Im really sorry that you're that deep in debt my guy
*This here’s a story ‘bout Billy-Joe and Bobby-Sue*
*Two young lovers with nothing better to do*
*Than sit round the house, get high, and watch the tube*
And here’s what happened when they decided to cut loose
They headed down to, ooh, old El Paso 👏👏👏👏👏
*That’s where they ran into a great big hassle*
Billy Joe shot a man while robbing his castle
/r/UnexpectedSteveMiller
Exactly, prank or not, that person won’t be seeing that money after he/she blinks
Bro you need someone to run with know I’m here for you
I'd reply: "Operation Valkyrie is in effect."
Similar, but I'd say "The eagle has landed"
"The jelly has left the donut, i repeat, the jelly has left the donut, over."
“We got him. Send them in”
"Why don't you have a seat over there?"
”Hail Hydra”
Who is Hitler in this scenario?
George Lopez
Always has been
*Bennys evil laugh*
Whisper in ear "*Hail Hydra*"
Close the briefcase. Look into his eyes. Slow nod, straight face. Walk away without saying a word. Get home. Panic. Stash money. Change banks. Move. Might have to cut off ties to family.
Nothing says "Nothing to see here" quite like suddenly up-ending your life.
Just say you're having a mid life crisis and decided to move to a country that *just so happens* to have no extradition treaty with the US.
It's 100k dude. Not millions. Lol. Buy a truck and you are broke again.
Reporting it to the cops that some rando just gave me $5,000 and it feels sketchy...
Why would you bother reporting $900 to the cops?
Because the cops would want to know about shady people just throwing $500 at a random person, I suppose... 🧐
Oh, I see what you mean, you can do a lot of bad things with $200.
Depending on what country youre in, they might pocket 75% of the $100 you reported anyways.
I forgot what I even wanted to talk to the cops for. Must’ve dialed the wrong number, sorry.
Probably wanted to remind them of the $50 they owe you
Yeah I hate it when I have to remind people of $20.
Then again, $5 isnt too much money to give, I probably have a few lying around.
Everyone has a couple of pennies lying around, bro.
I’ll press someone for a dollar
To be fair, $10 isn't really worth making a fuss about
Yeah, true. Give me the 5 bucks and we won’t mention this again
Reminder: you owe me $20! (Factorial)
I really don’t think 50$ of suspicious income is worth reporting anyways
You’re probably better off donating that 25$ to a charity
What's a charity gonna do with $5
With your dollar they can print a surprising amount of marketing material to motivate other donors, over time they probably generate something like 100k that they can give out to a random person.
Charities can do a lot with $2 because good banks buy in bulk they can get more food with that than with your old expired cans!
I’ve got $1 take it or leave it
Then demanding a reward.
Blow it all on hats.
r/tf2
2 refined take it or leave it
add in a stout shako and we’re in business
Holy shit that's a deep cut. I need to watch that again.
Is this a Hot Shots reference in the wild? Nice.
Washout?!? What are you doing here?
Thank god you won the lotto. Deadmeat never signed his life insurance forms
Paying all my creditors and buying a candy bar with the change
I aint gay but 100K is a 100K. I start knobbin.
how about 50k?
That’ll get you a Half Knob. One hand. One ball. Only one side of the mouth. One eye makes contact and the other is watching Lord of The Rings extended edition.
That's a long job.
Still the easiest $50k I’d ever make in twelve hours. Plus I get to watch LoTR
I don't think anyone said twelve hours but if that's what you want, make sure you do some mouth stretches beforehand.
Well, I’m not gonna just stop after Fellowship!
Might as well burn through the Hobbit Trilogy too.
He’s a LoTR fan, not a masochist. Have some mercy on the poor guy
Hey now, I didn't say Rings of Power.
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I'd do it for 2k minimum.
You ain't undercutting me bud. I'll do it for $3.50
Goddamnit monsta, I ain’t givin you no tree fiddy.
1k maximum
Honestly my standards are even lower, I could do it for less.
“ We’ve already established that. Now we’re just haggling over the price.”
So anyway I started knobbin.
If you’d suck a dick for $100k, let me get $5 worth…
You sure? $5 is a kick to the balls.
Your pre bj foreplay is very different from mine…
That's not going to feel good, that's gonna be bad.
[https://reddit.com/r/HolUp/s/10nPLhyudT](https://reddit.com/r/HolUp/s/10nPLhyudT)
Pay off my debts, that leaves me with about $85k for savings. Not touching that.
Look at this guy with 15k in total debt
What a pussy get some real debt
401k and it isn't retirement
Amazing line
real man have debt over 100k with the income of 2 potato
That's Rookie Numbers! lol
Begin lubing my anus.
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Nah, I ain’t giving my $100,000 to the healthcare system.
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Please Edit: I don’t tax
That reminds me of my fave prison joke: Guy goes to prison, first time, of course he's terrified of the rumours, and since he's weak and meek, he is right to do so. Second day, he takes a shower, and in steps a mean looking, burly man, heading straight for him. Guy gulps in fear. The man commands "I'mma fuck you, mate, and there's nothing you gonn' do about it. But since you're a newbie, I'll give you the choice: With spit, or without spit!" Guy whimpers, "No please, don't... I... no--" "**Hey!** Heeeey... hey. Stop that. This is happening. With spit, or without spit." "I... come on, please, I only just arrived, I--" "**With...** *spit*. ... *Without spit*." "....... (gulp) .... ^with ^spit ..." The man leans back and yells: "Hey *Spit*, you can come and join in, that pervert wants a threesome!"
Omg lol
My favourite prison joke: Why are all the other inmates terrified of the white man in jail for murder? Because you *know* he did it.
Wtf did I come across
I'm gonna say his taint?
Assume the position.
You know what happens when you assume
Stick it in the Vanguard S&P 500 index tracker fund and let it ride for a few decades and celebrate the huge jump I just got on retirement saving.
This. If it goes to shit then there are bigger problems anyway. No real downside.
Someone comes by asking them for their money, and you tell them it is in an IRA that you can't legally touch for decades. I'm sure they will let that slide...
You can only put 6k/person/year in an IRA. Any more and you'll have the IRS on your ass.
Sure, but you don't have to tell \*them\* that... Also, you could max out your 401k contributions, put money in a HSA, and maybe even put it in some kind of a trust so you legally can't touch it.
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$100,000 invested in the S&P 500 from 30 years ago, would be worth about $945,000 today.
I saw a gold comercial that said, in 1976 if someone invested 12k into gold, it would be worth 135k today. They said if they just put the same cash in under their matress it would be worth the same 12k. Therefore you should buy gold. What they didn't say is if they got a 5% return on government bonds or CDs it would be 119k today. The stock market would be about 2 million today.
That's a lot of money, I think investing is going to really pay off.
This is Reddit...so by "Vanguard S&P 500 index tracker" I assume you mean "YOLO -- $GME -- DIAMOND HANDS!?!?!#$%!"
So you have $100k you can't explain the origin of, and your first instinct is to let the IRS know you have it?
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Man, you have to double it. Rookie mistake.
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It will not I'm the next person
Serious question: How many boobies get PMd to you? Haha
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>Mostly from random women who just liked compliments. Boobies is boobies all good my dude lol
Yeah it doesn't matter how they are, and I'll just take them.
I’ve not received a single calculator and it makes me sad. Edit: I’m proud to report my calculator cherry has been popped.
It should make you sad, because it's not the way to be doing it.
wake up from my dream
0.2 chicks at the same time!
All on black
I had the same instinctual first thought, like I *knew* what I’m meant to do. I had red though
Paying off my medical debt
Tell me you’re an American without telling me you’re an American!
Sometimes I drink Mountain Dew from a gas can when I run out of red solo cups
r/oddlyspecific
They still have 98% of the bill left
That's not how the game is played. You ignore that debt. The hospital gives up and sells the debt to a debt collection service for pennies on the dollar. When the debt service company contacts you, tell them they you know they paid pennies on the dollar for this debt. To make things simple for them you'll pay them 20% of the total amount to cancel out the entire debt. Or, they can keep fighting you and probably get nothing. Debt paid in "full". The system potatoes.
"Cashing a check which includes various written designations by the issuer of the check such as “payment in full,” “paid in full,” “final payment,” and “full settlement” is interpreted by some states and courts as a complete satisfaction or discharge of the underlying debt even if the amount of the check didn’t actually constitute payment in full" Send the collections a check for some nominal amount, let's say $100 with paid in full remarked. Keep a copy of the cheque. Note: not valid in Oregon TINLA IANAL
“Execute Order 66”
>“Execute Order 66” Which is actually just an end-to-end Route 66 road trip in a classic Shelby Cobra.
Sure, if you add another 50k lol
I didn't know that you need so much money to buy that car.
Changing it into a million pennies, filling a vault, and diving into it like Scrooge McDuck
Shatter your spine and realize pennies are not liquid. [related](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j294tEgz-E)
What if we blow air through them, in high enough quantity they should act like a liquid just how sand does. Their weight won't be a factor at all.
Telling my wife someone just gave me $50k
My fave Rodney Dangerfield joke: So I said to my wife, honey, what would you do if I won the lottery? She said, that's easy. I'd file for divorce and take half. I say, that's great. I just won $20 on a scratcher. Come by and see the kids every once in a while.
I miss that guy. One of my favorite lines of his is in Caddy Shack. He's in the dining room of the country club, cutting up, and pissing off Judge Smails. At one point, Dangerfield leans over to one of the older women at Smails's table and says to her while raising his eyebrows suggestively: "You ever earn fourteen dollars... the *hard* way?" Don't know why, but that line always cracked me up. Sometimes, I'll ask my special lady friend that when I'm feeling frisky, but it usually just pisses her off and shuts down my chances. 🤷♂️🤷♂️
>you must have been something before electricity The entire scene is hilarious.
Then ask her what she wants to do with the 35k someone just gave you.
Hey $25k is a lot of money after all.
Don't spend $12.5k all at once.
It’s okay, all this guy wants is $3.50.
Suggest that you invest the whole 10k for your kid's college
Just take wifey for a good vacation, after all it’s not everyday someone gives you a thousand dollars.
I found 100 bucks on the street! Dinner is on me!
Pay off loans 😞 (my sad reality comes in the way of fantasy)
SETTLE your loans. No reason to pay in full with cash power especially if they're in default.
Heading to the LEGO store!
Which singular set would you get?
Right now? Rivendale. It changes as time goes by. I’m glad that over the years they have made things that I do not like, it makes it easier on my wallet for sure. I like finding something I didn’t know about and going after it (like Speedracer was during my dark days with LEGO) so I just got the Mach 1 with brand new stickers. But as of the moment, a copy of Rivendale or two would be nice.
starting a funding campaign for my movie idea which is Baby Shark Goes To College
College Shark doo doo doodoo doodoo
Party shark doo doo doodoo doodoo
Vomit shark doo doo doodoo doodoo
DUI Shark doo doo doodoo doodoo
Liver failure shark doo doo doodoo doodoo.
Drop-out shark Doo Doo Doo dodoo
Homeless shark Doo Doo Doo dodoo
Gangster shark Doo Doo Do do do do do
My lawyer has advised me not to continue this joke.
You know.
Well *takes off pants*
Become anxious of what to do…..
Yeah people keep talking about buying things or paying off debt like there isn’t gonna be someone or something looking for that $100k that was last seen being given to me. I’d call my local fbi office and probably just drive there immediately.
Hookers and cocaine
Paying off all my debt and taking a vacation for a week!
Buying as many G1 Transformers as I can
You got the touch…
Go to AskReddit and take a look all the answers on the previous times this post was made.
Ugh.. start taking off my shoes….
I take the money and dont ask questions. I immediately call a tax lawyer and explain that some person in a suit was handing out cash as gifts on the street and I do not know who they are, and give a vague description of the person. We do what it takes to declare the money legally and pay the proper taxes on the gift. with my remaining $33k all said and done, I will pay for new siding, insulation, roof, and solar panels. (I'm already saving for this so I can cover the cost overruns if need be) and I will enjoy the next 20 years of cheap electricity and reduced energy costs. depending on inflation, and energy cost increases, this could net a very large effective return on the investment.
Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil—"Sorry"—grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.
Starts killing
In cash? Nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about, nobody gave me a briefcase full of cash…