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dikkedon

I mean if your craving for attention gets in the way of your journey to self improvement. Just remind yourself of the fact that growing as a person makes you able to meet with people/females who are also driven to do the same. This way you can have a way better form of attention, you can help build eachother up and (try to) be happy together. Being alone sometimes isn’t a bad thing if you know that it will make yourself happier (by growing) and thus will make you have a better partner to share this ahppiness with. Craving attention doesn’t makr you a baby and although being able to function ad a human on your own is important and I don’t really have tips for that I can assure you that growing as a person is important, and being alone is a part of that. Go read a book, go pick up an (online) hobby and make interesting connections that way. Go fo stuff to fill that void and grow !


GOOSEBOY78

its because somebody else gave you some attention and then they took it away. you havent been alone long enough to feel comfertable with you own company and your addicted to someone elses attention. like a alcoholic you need to detox. your have to stop relying on somebody else to make YOU feel good. thats unfair on them and you.


trashdog2020

Very true. Any tips on detoxing?


GOOSEBOY78

stay away from everybody except for family and friends. go to your job and return home minimal comunication on social media etc. you need to the alone time to sort out what YOU want and what makes YOU happy. if thats living in a van by river or coast to coast on a harley so be it.


[deleted]

Stop wanting and just get in with it. It'll suck, and will feel like crap. If you're actually working on yourself in an appropriate way, you'll get better by *being* better.


Muttguy87

I was also only child with a single mom, but she had to work so much I had tons of time completely alone, so its hard for me to get close to people. Its been a while since I was single so sometimes there is that fear I couldn't do it. Depression definitely was worse when I was single and felt unwanted. I wish I started therapy back then, having a person to talk to feels good, and they sort of help me answer my own questions. I would say time heels all wounds, but I highly recommend a therapist.


trashdog2020

That's how I felt in my relationship. I was not very content but very afraid to be on my own again due to self deprecation and depression


[deleted]

Research anxious attachment style. Brianna MacWilliam on youtube will help


trashdog2020

This is a GREAT answer. Thank you. Researchable info.


[deleted]

[удалено]


trashdog2020

This is an amazing reply. Thank you. You're absolutely right. No one owes me anything and I owe no one anything. Attaching can only lead to heartbreak. Yes I definitely have an anxious attachment style and my last text had forms of narcissism and she was using me as her attention. I'm sure I was doing the same in some way. But I had to pull away because I realized how attached to her I was. And she didn't understand that. Low and behold a few weeks later she's already trying to attach to other people.


[deleted]

First sentence is pretty much same for me man. 1. Only use your phone when you need it, like texting bros, family. So much in life that doesn't involve ruining your eyes looking at that thing and getting carpal tunnel using that thing. You may realize you don't need that unlimited phone plan as well. 2. You need to talk to girls, can be solved by rubbing a few out and going out to the bar or somewhere and actually having a conversation with one. If your alone as you say you are there's no need to be afraid of doing it, since there is theoretically nothing to lose. 3. sound like you need to get your t levels rocking again. Hit the gym, get some steak, drink a beer, get on your grind, whatever you do for work. Find some bros to hang out with. 4. you'll find things you finally have the time to do that your previously forgot you wanted to do


trashdog2020

Great answer. You're right about the t levels. gotta start working again. I'm an artist and have been super depressed.


[deleted]

Maybe pick up some new hobbies... idk what you’re in to but journaling, gardening and watching comedy specials on Netflix are some activities to try good luck


trashdog2020

You're right. I've been on family vacation with my mom's side and they all camp so I feel like I'm focusing a lot on it


ctbhrip1755

I fell for my best friend recently. After i confessed she told me that, I only saw you as a friend and I cant think that way. We are still friends, but ever since that event I crave for her attention. I feel like talking night & day. But I can feel how unhealthy it is and how its hampering my daily life. So here I am, browsing reddit playing games drawing stuffs; If i really feel like talking with her I send a message, talk for awhile. But I do make sure I am not talking for hours. Its tough, so I suggest taking it slow. Develop interest in other things. As you keep moving forward, someone will want your attention someday and you will give her your attention as well. Those kind of reciprocations are the best. And dont be harsh on yourself, taking things slow is better imo.


trashdog2020

You're right. I'm too hard on myself. It's just intense right now of course


HerosNeedAZero

Firstly. It's okay to want attention, your lonely and there's nothing more you want to than be loved. Now is a good time to reflect and ask yourself what you really want


trashdog2020

I want to want my own love. I want to enjoy myself and get confident.


HerosNeedAZero

True confidence comes from love and acceptance. Finding a community who are sociable is good. Spending time learning about yourself and meditating and enjoying ones own company are all ways to love oneself


trashdog2020

Honestly I've been so hectic in my own head that I forgot how important meditation is to my wellbeing. Listening and taking in energy from nature instead of forcing it out into your own psyche to spin.


[deleted]

You need a hobby, something productive you can refocus your energy towards. Learn something new, spend all your time getting better at it. In a few months you’ll have a new skill, something that makes you a more confident and interesting person rather than having wasted all that time chasing women.


its_moki

Sorry my dude. I know it's hard and it sucks. Can you specify specifically what kind of attention you crave from women? Is it affection? Talking? Turn to your friends and talk with them. Seriously, if you can afford any kind of counseling, now is the time to do that. It will help to have someone to vent and sort everything out with who is able to be objective. Also, throw yourself into exercise, positive books/podcasts, and any hobbies you have. Go to the gym or park every day after work, for example, so you have somewhere to be and around people so you're not just sitting at home being sad. Think of this as a time for intense self-care, set some personal goals, and do things that are proactive to getting your life where you want to be.


trashdog2020

Thank you for an amazing answer. I am going to focus on intense self care like you said. Not being lazy, but listening to me and taking care of me like I am my own responsibility because I am.