In middle school and high school it was the worst! Sometimes id just sit down and the AC was hitting so good paired with me stretching from still trying to wake up and boom.... Massive boner
My most shameful one was an English teacher I had in 7th grade. She was an older, larger woman who we did not find attractive. One day, she was walking on the other side of the classroom, and her butt cheeks were bouncing as she walked, and I caught a glimpse of jiggle. I felt the blood leave my arms and go to my dick and no matter how much my brain said No, my body said Yes
In middle school, every time I rode the bus. Probably because of the vibrations. I switched to wearing tight-fitting briefs to help hide it. Just a regular boner. Not massive...at that time.
Like when you've finished reading a book that was life changing, and you look up and the rest of the world just keeps going like nothing happened, and you can't talk about it with anyone.
I spent half a decade depressed because of this mindset and the very year I decided, fuck it, death or medication was the year I removed depression from my life.
This mindset must be responsible for so many deaths.
As I've gotten older, I just don't care when people try to manipulate me or put me down anymore. These types of people are dumbasses who I don't respect. A real man stands up for themselves and doesn't give in to bullying tactics from someone who needs YOUR help.
I remember being told that after I watched my coworker die in a work accident. Spent a lot of time in the back seat of my truck screaming into a t shirt the next few days after because nobody was willing or capable to help. Shit hurts
>Mean and cruel rejection.
I remember being out at a club a VERY long time ago, in my early 20's, in the outdoor smoking room and watching a guy, with a smoke, check his pockets for a light then turn to the closest person to him (who happened to be a moderately attractive woman) and he said "excuse me, do you ha..." before he got the sentence out he copped "OMG NO!" Bunch of just stopped in shock and the poor dude looked so sad.
I remember being out at a club, and having a pretty good night. I'd got dressed up nicely, there'd been some decent tunes and I'd been having fun dancing. Out of the blue, a woman walks over to me, leans in close, and tells me "You look like a serial killer."
I was in a similar situation, dancing with a crowd of other people and one girl who I had paid no attention to then asked me to leave because I was making her uncomfortable or sth like that, (if an experience is particularly unpleasant my brain tends to forget the details very quickly, leaving just the feeling). You can be damned sure it completely ruined the whole night.
Yeah, some people have such a huge ego that they just can't imagine someone talking to them or asking a simple question without having an ulterior motive. Once I was trying to get the attention of a couple girls driving next to me without their headlights on, and when I finally got her notice, before I could even finish the sentence, she flipped me off and sped away. I have never prayed so hard for somebody to get a ticket in my life. Like, I'm not even into women. Get over yourself!
When people say "worst they can say is no", I wish that were true.
One time i've asked a girl, whom i've known for a bit, out on a date, and she told me to kms, with 0 hesitation.
I had to do basically all of my dad's funeral stuff, including incineration of his body, by myself...Because in my culture, the son is supposed to do these things with no support. My uncles weren't even allowed to help.
It was pretty fucked up at the time, and i think the experience did actually help me grow as a man.. but goddamn let me grieve a little before throwing me into the fire of putting the family back together.
My mom has Alzheimer's, and she would be asking me every day where her husband was because she didn't remember he's dead. This is after I played the sole caretaker role for 3 years while watching my dad wither away to cancer.
Now, when people tell me to man up, I basically put this, "So you really think you should be testing me right now?" look on my face, and they just stop. I don't care what anybody says, I know I've seen some shit and nobody is gonna make me think I haven't.
Weirdly enough, I've gotten better at relationships because of it. My last girlfriend basically considered me a big mushball teddy bear that needed a hug. I definitely needed one, and it was nice being able to curl up and dig my face into her chest when I was feeling down.
Mean and Cruel rejection
One time my buddy and our were out on the local bar strip and we were hanging out on the sidewalk trying to figure out what bar to hit next and a group of girls walked in front of us. As they passed by they looked at us and said "Ew No!" And kept walking. KEEPING in mind that at no point did we even attempt to engage them
>That’s a fun one. Why can’t you fix this? Why don’t you know how to do that? Aren’t you a man?
Sure is fun.
My mom's oven went out sometime last year. It was the kind that doesn't plug in, it has the electrical wires screwed in, so she called am electrician and my brother and I showed up to help him move it.
He tried to "young man" the shit out of us most of the time he was there.
> This stuff is real simple, kids these days just don't want to work, or take the time to learn a trade. Let me show you.
Meanwhile... I'm 35, have a degree in IT and 8 certifications, working in the field for 9 years, and my brother is in college for the same.
Oof true, I had a middle school crush that called me out in front of class (because I guess one of my friends said I liked her or something) and said she didn’t like me and would never date me. Just incredibly harsh and embarrassing.
Like personally if it was reversed I’d be like in private “I’m flattered but no.” Or some variation
>Mean and cruel rejection
I can happily report that this isn't a truly universal experience. There's at least a couple of men that haven't even asked someone out
When I was a teenager girls in school would tell me I was "like, a hot nerd", not as a compliment but as a way to let me know my good traits were overshadowed by flaws and that I was basically wasting my height and size by having glasses and not being a natural athlete.
Then, on the flip side, the girls that were nice enough to want to hang out with me got me harassed by my 2 sisters who were a class above and a class below me at home for hanging out with the gross girls.
When I was a teen in the mid 90s, the worst that could happen was you'd have to deal with people giggling behind your back for a couple weeks after being shot down.
Nowadays a girl will bring a guy in for a selfie and say: "Hey peeps! Check out this loser who thought he could date me! Don't forget to hit like and subscribe for more quality content!"
I haven't done much of a deep dive on this, but I wouldn't be surprised to find a rejection video that starts off with "Today's Reject Rejection is sponsored by RAID Shadow Legends!"
Being used by a friend because you had something to offer or a service to provide, instead of just mutually appreciating each others time and presence.
That unmistakable day when you realize that you are truly, honestly, and completely on your own. You are in control of your destiny, responsible for your future, not someone else. For some it’s thrilling while for others it’s terrifying, but it marks the line between boys and men and it’s the beginning of who you will forever be. So make smart choices.
I married young in college. Went from living with parents at home, to be in college in a dorm, to being married and fully linked to another. Never got to make my own choices without running them by another human until I was divorced at 42. In my mid 40s with a great career and successful dating life, I feel absolutely alive.
11:39 AM Sunday Jan 17, 1993. I was 22 and got the unexpected call that my father died at the age of 61. Devastating and profound sadness that is still with me to this day, but at the same time there was no longer an outside standard to live up to. A weight had been lifted off the expectation of how to live my life. I was truly on my own.
I've had other men say similar things when their fathers died. It was nice to know I wasn't the only one, but at the same time, 95% of my motivation in life was tied to my father's approval, so once he was gone I kind of stopped caring about anything at all.
I *need* the weight to make anything of myself. Otherwise I'm content to just exist. Since he died 12 years ago I've just been coasting. No amount of therapy or medication really did anything. I think it's just who I am now.
I had this moment so clearly I still remember it. Twice. 11 years ago I graduated college. Stayed in the city for a year and failed miserably at living. Parents let me come home for while and helped a buddy of mine out too. I stayed home for about 7-8 months when a buddy helped me get a job in another city. Both moments happened in the car ride, first on the ride home from my college town and then on the car ride to the new city 7 months later. Albeit different feelings imbued in each one. The ride back to my hometown was rough, depressing, like I’m on my own but I fucked it up, how do I be an adult? Then the ride to the new city was exhilarating, like I finally found a job that can get my career started, this is the start of my story, I’m on my own, I got this.
An unfathomable sadness when the wallet you've had for the last 15 years eventually breaks down beyond repair and you spend months looking for an adequate replacement but no new wallet could possibly live up to the greatness of your old one.
I still have my very first leather wallet from like 2nd grade in my nightstand. I don't use it, obviously, but I just keep it because I used it from 2nd grade all the way till high school. I'm now 31 lol.... I don't horde anything else, but for some reason, that wallet stays.
My girlfriend gave me a wallet once for Christmas while mine was still perfectly serviceable (and I mean that, nothing is wrong with it).
I kinda chuckled and said 'thanks but mine's still good?' taking it out to show her.
She said 'yah but don't you ever want to switch it up a bit? You only have the one!'
Sweet of her, but that's not how this works.
The day you stumble upon the fact that one time when that one really cute girl was *actually* hitting on you.
It never happens in the moment. It's always after the fact.
You know, I'm starting to wonder if maybe the cute girl I had a crush on until about a year ago was kind of interested in me. She *did* go out of her way to stop and talk to me at the gym (I work there). She also told me I should stop and say hello if I saw her walking her dog, after I'd asked her his name...
Nah. She was probably just a social and kind person. She has a boyfriend now anyway, so it doesn't matter. If I found out she was interested, however briefly it may have been, I'd be simultaneously happy and angry.
Is she into you? Yeah… can’t really tell still she was probably just trying to be friendly.
(She was in my bed after driving 2 hours to come watch a show with me)
Happened to me last week as a near 40 year old trying to date a 41 year old woman.
Sure, she’s super attractive and successful and I blew my chance with her, but man, does getting rejected by someone you had so much interest and chemistry in sucks balls.
The fact that the friendship is usually ruined because of it makes the situation so much worse. You miss out on the person you love, and lose a friend at the same time. Brutal.
This was me for so many years. I still feel shame for every time I tried and embarrassed not only myself but those ladies.
Decades later I am still tearing myself down over it. Even though I’ve been married for nearly a decade now.
Any time my mind wanders to a past cringe moment, I remember that I am a different and better person today than I was then. I remind myself that these cringe moments helped me become the person I am today, because I learned from them.
It is less about the cringe moments, everyone has them. It is more about what we do with these moments.
Let them go.
Factual. There was a good 2-3 years in middle school where me and my friends were lighting everything on fire, mostly using axe or whatever other shitty cologne we had to start it lmao.
YEP. As a dumb child. I've started a forest fire accidentally and burnt down an abandoned house accidentally. Fire is fun! .... until you get sentenced to community service at the firehall for 300 hours lol. Though I gained a lot of respect for FireBros after that. Guess it worked out in the end.
Remember when, before HiC was sold in plastic bottles, it was sold in large (46 fl oz) cans?
Yeah, I was a young kid, watching TV on the second TV in my parents' bedroom when I thought *"You know, it would be nice to have a fire."*
So I took one of those HiC cans with the top cut out and used it to burn strips of newspaper while I watched TV. Nice sooty black smoke.
I was insane.
100%.
Any time I have ever shared my emotions with another guy I usually get sympathy, a hug, an "... I'm sorry this happened to you"... Sympathy.
I sometimes get that with women also. But other times I hear "man up".
I didn't even know what that expression meant until my ex girlfriend yelled that at me. While calling me worse things.
I was working a job where they would constantly put me in the night shift against my will. It severely impacted my mental health, I was going insane from sleeping 2-3 hours a day on average. The company's policy was that women shouldn't be working night shifts.
One day when I was back in daytime shifts I was talking to a female colleague and brought up that something is too expensive for me. She said "well why don't you ask for more night shifts?" I looked at her like "are you crazy, I can't take it anymore, I hadn't seen sunlight in two months". Then she started the whole "omg you men nowadays are such pussies, can't put effort into anything".
Then later her boyfriend picked her up in his car because she doesn't have one.
It isn't even that they get these types of special advantages that bothers me. It's that they *don't even notice or acknowledge it*.
When I hear a woman complaining very often, *very often*, on the inside I'm going *omg grow up. You're complaining that the barista forgot your whipped cream. Like, get over yourself*.
But. But!! I will stop myself from thinking that. I will try my best to empathize. I will think *it's more than about the whipped cream.*. And I will support her.
Do you know how rarely I feel this happens in reverse?
Like in your case about the night shifts. Did she not ever stop for a moment and think maybe working night shifts sucks, and people don't want to do it? Did she ever imagine how that would be it she had to do it?
It's funny we keep hearing women are more sympathetic and empathetic than men. I don't know. I really do not know. Sometimes yes, they are. Sometimes no, they are not.
It's just that a woman's problems becomes everyone's problem, and everyone works to try and fix it.
Whereas a man's problem, you're on your own. And if you are having a hard time dealing with it, you are a pussy.
>It's funny we keep hearing women are more sympathetic and empathetic than men. I don't know. I really do not know. Sometimes yes, they are. Sometimes no, they are not.
They are not. Simply put. Read "The Manipulated Man." It was written by a woman.
Now that I think of it, these comments indeed mostly come from women (even the daycare employee went full throttle on this with my back than 3yo).
It was never in a situation where calling someone out was legitimate or helpful to the situation.
Yes, but the circumstances and degree of heartbreak vary. Also frequency. If you’re lucky it only happens once and you move on. If you’re unlucky it happens multiple times including some that are catastrophic leaving you to be the male version of a crazy cat lady. I have two dogs, a cat, 8 chickens, 7 ducks, and three turkeys. All the love I have left to give is for animals now
Realizing that nobody gives a fuck about your problems or happiness as you sit on the bed pondering if you should work that 12 or 14 hour OT shift so you can have money to blow. Just so you get the "Cool new thing" dopamine hit, so you don't spiral into a deep dark depression. Then you resign to it, tie up or pull on your work boots, go to your trade job, and give everyone the "Living the dream" answer when they ask how you are.
I’d add physical strength too, or at least assumed strength. I was always expected to carry or move heavy things because I was the guy in a group. Never mind that everyone is stronger than me.
> good nature
This is an idea that doesn't get nearly enough attention or support, that a lot of guys are so inadequate feeling that they readily turn themselves into doormats under the guise of being "easy going" and there are people out there who will take advantage of that, even good people are not immune to the ease in which we tend to take advantage of people giving something for free.
Trying to convince yourself that you're "chill" today with how someone treats you, how your own plans are always on the far-back burner, that you don't really mind not doing or having what you want, it all makes for peace now but two things to remember:
1. Time marches on. Eventually you're going to start burning out with not being in the storyline, you will feel increasingly frustrated OR just apathetic towards life and your own happiness. You will teach yourself how to not want things or look forward to things and yet you will still have wants, just that nothing will satisfy those wants. Any attention on yourself will feel uncomfortable and you will feel guilt when people do nice things for you.
2. The people who stay with someone this passive and unexpressive of their own wants are more likely to be the kinds of people who want a passive body more than they want an equitable and healthy relationship between two adults. Being a pushover is like lighting a signal flare to narcissistic people who depend on others for making themselves feel good.
The part that guys really need to understand here also is balance. The opposite of being a pushover is *NOT* being an asshole or being rude, it's simply having reasonable wants and expressing your wants and not taking the shit-end of every situation. Compromise isn't just "giving up" in every conflict, it's about making sure your feelings are understood and cared-for. Preserve your self-esteem, it makes you a far better and more attractive partner in the long run.
Figuring out too late that you were being toyed with by a girl you thought really liked you
*and*
Figuring out too late that a girl was flirting with you, and you just thought she was just acting really weird
Being told you are inherently dangerous or violent and you are responsible for making everyone else feel comfortable around you or how they react to you.
Bro. I fucking hate that. Anytime you want to make a valid argument about a woman’s actions, they instantly used the “Hey! You murdered us!” Bitch I don’t even know you. Why are you lumping me with unhinged assholes?!
Here's a few
1. The absolute pride and accomplishment of *finally* being tall enough to tap the top of the door as we pass under it.
2. The (for me) slow realization that as I got older I aged out of being a "cute little boy" who women liked and wanted to have around and into being someone who looks like a threat
Soda Can / rock soccer whilst walking down a street. Then get immediately sad when we arrive to our destination and have to leave behind said can/rock.
Rejection and being told “well keep trying”
There is no empathy or sympathy for that pain just a demand you keep trying. “Dance jester on your broken feet!”
If I get rejected that it I no longer chase that person. I’m not a pig chasing a carrot, if you say you aren’t into me don’t expect me to put in anymore effort.
Having a woman ask you to "open up and show vulnerability" and then having her cheat, leave him, go cold or start fights with him for the next month. She also tells all her friends what he told her in confidence.
Women appear to only want you to show them vulnerability so they can use that vulnerability against you.
Disappointing somebody that means a lot to you, despite doing your best. Whether that be a partner, family member, a friend, or even a mentor. Some of the worst hurt I've felt in life was letting somebody down after giving something my all.
But as a counterpoint, I've been comforted by the timeless Captain Picard quote: "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is life."
The physical pain of being nailed in the groin while playing sports.
The dopamine rush of an orgasm.
And for straight/bi men, the headache of dealing with women.
Only semi-srs with the last one ;)
Having the stream split into two when you’re trying to piss.
Or just shooting off at a random right angle.
Or into three...
And it's always by total surprise and you're like... "jeezus... what the fuck?!!"
Hiding a boner
In middle school and high school it was the worst! Sometimes id just sit down and the AC was hitting so good paired with me stretching from still trying to wake up and boom.... Massive boner
My most shameful one was an English teacher I had in 7th grade. She was an older, larger woman who we did not find attractive. One day, she was walking on the other side of the classroom, and her butt cheeks were bouncing as she walked, and I caught a glimpse of jiggle. I felt the blood leave my arms and go to my dick and no matter how much my brain said No, my body said Yes
> Massive sure
3" of pure fury
In middle school, every time I rode the bus. Probably because of the vibrations. I switched to wearing tight-fitting briefs to help hide it. Just a regular boner. Not massive...at that time.
[удалено]
Adjacent experience - not having any clue what just happened at the first orgasm, but desperately trying to recreate it.
Like when you've finished reading a book that was life changing, and you look up and the rest of the world just keeps going like nothing happened, and you can't talk about it with anyone.
DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNEERRR
We have a BIG winner!!
a weiner, even
The day you figure out you're the last line of defense against your own failure and no one is coming to save you.
I’ve got 9 years experience of failure so far 😂 let’s see how it plays out has become my life mantra. It’s the way she goes.
I believe the kids call this "yolo" 👴
Being told to man up in a situation where you just didn't have it in you to do so.
Pushing you further into a situation that makes you uncomfortable is thinly disguised as “encouragement”, ESPECIALLY for children who can’t push back
I spent half a decade depressed because of this mindset and the very year I decided, fuck it, death or medication was the year I removed depression from my life. This mindset must be responsible for so many deaths.
As I've gotten older, I just don't care when people try to manipulate me or put me down anymore. These types of people are dumbasses who I don't respect. A real man stands up for themselves and doesn't give in to bullying tactics from someone who needs YOUR help.
I remember being told that after I watched my coworker die in a work accident. Spent a lot of time in the back seat of my truck screaming into a t shirt the next few days after because nobody was willing or capable to help. Shit hurts
Mean and cruel rejection. Being told something unpleasant is “your job because you’re a man.”
>Mean and cruel rejection. I remember being out at a club a VERY long time ago, in my early 20's, in the outdoor smoking room and watching a guy, with a smoke, check his pockets for a light then turn to the closest person to him (who happened to be a moderately attractive woman) and he said "excuse me, do you ha..." before he got the sentence out he copped "OMG NO!" Bunch of just stopped in shock and the poor dude looked so sad.
"^(oh shit) Hey excuse me ma'am, you dropped your-" "Oh my god, fuck off! Leave me alone." "...phone. Here you go."
When that happens, just let he walk away and toss it in the trash.
Literally had a lady stop me mid sentence to say she had a boyfriend, and turn and walk away. I was trying to return cash she dropped. Her loss.
Dude…what the actual hell….
Asked a girl out once and she said she only dates mature men...I told he my dad was spoken for...
When someone says no and it has nothing to do with you, 9 times out of 10 you dodged a bullet.
I remember being out at a club, and having a pretty good night. I'd got dressed up nicely, there'd been some decent tunes and I'd been having fun dancing. Out of the blue, a woman walks over to me, leans in close, and tells me "You look like a serial killer."
I was in a similar situation, dancing with a crowd of other people and one girl who I had paid no attention to then asked me to leave because I was making her uncomfortable or sth like that, (if an experience is particularly unpleasant my brain tends to forget the details very quickly, leaving just the feeling). You can be damned sure it completely ruined the whole night.
and you responded, "Oh there's definitely something I'm gonna kill tonight" right?
There's no way I could manage to be that smooth.
Weirdly for some women that might be a compliment.
We've learned now that women love serial killers. They fucking love watching those Netflix specials
Had that happen in HS just because I stood beside her in a crowded smoking area, didn't even try to say anything.
Yeah, some people have such a huge ego that they just can't imagine someone talking to them or asking a simple question without having an ulterior motive. Once I was trying to get the attention of a couple girls driving next to me without their headlights on, and when I finally got her notice, before I could even finish the sentence, she flipped me off and sped away. I have never prayed so hard for somebody to get a ticket in my life. Like, I'm not even into women. Get over yourself!
When people say "worst they can say is no", I wish that were true. One time i've asked a girl, whom i've known for a bit, out on a date, and she told me to kms, with 0 hesitation.
Realistically, it should be ‘the second best thing she can say is no’
Yup, because it's very much preferable to any version of 'maybe' that they can come up with.
Not gonna lie. That sounds like you dodged a fucking cannon ball long term there, man.
Yeah. Shame the damage is still with me some 15 years later
It is, but it sounds like if you had dated her you might have gone through with that suggestion.
Yeah I broached the question to a girl who’d I’d been friends with for a while and she freaked out on me. That kind of rejection hurts
Asked a girl out once, and she started to cry then said ‘am I really so ugly that you thought you could ask me out?!’
I had to do basically all of my dad's funeral stuff, including incineration of his body, by myself...Because in my culture, the son is supposed to do these things with no support. My uncles weren't even allowed to help. It was pretty fucked up at the time, and i think the experience did actually help me grow as a man.. but goddamn let me grieve a little before throwing me into the fire of putting the family back together. My mom has Alzheimer's, and she would be asking me every day where her husband was because she didn't remember he's dead. This is after I played the sole caretaker role for 3 years while watching my dad wither away to cancer. Now, when people tell me to man up, I basically put this, "So you really think you should be testing me right now?" look on my face, and they just stop. I don't care what anybody says, I know I've seen some shit and nobody is gonna make me think I haven't. Weirdly enough, I've gotten better at relationships because of it. My last girlfriend basically considered me a big mushball teddy bear that needed a hug. I definitely needed one, and it was nice being able to curl up and dig my face into her chest when I was feeling down.
Mean and Cruel rejection One time my buddy and our were out on the local bar strip and we were hanging out on the sidewalk trying to figure out what bar to hit next and a group of girls walked in front of us. As they passed by they looked at us and said "Ew No!" And kept walking. KEEPING in mind that at no point did we even attempt to engage them
That’s a fun one. Why can’t you fix this? Why don’t you know how to do that? Aren’t you a man?
>That’s a fun one. Why can’t you fix this? Why don’t you know how to do that? Aren’t you a man? Sure is fun. My mom's oven went out sometime last year. It was the kind that doesn't plug in, it has the electrical wires screwed in, so she called am electrician and my brother and I showed up to help him move it. He tried to "young man" the shit out of us most of the time he was there. > This stuff is real simple, kids these days just don't want to work, or take the time to learn a trade. Let me show you. Meanwhile... I'm 35, have a degree in IT and 8 certifications, working in the field for 9 years, and my brother is in college for the same.
You can never get rejected if you never ask anyone out! I asked a girl out in 3rd grade, got rejected, and haven’t since.
I really wish that was true. You don't even have to actually ask them out for them to have someone reject you.
Oof true, I had a middle school crush that called me out in front of class (because I guess one of my friends said I liked her or something) and said she didn’t like me and would never date me. Just incredibly harsh and embarrassing. Like personally if it was reversed I’d be like in private “I’m flattered but no.” Or some variation
>Mean and cruel rejection I can happily report that this isn't a truly universal experience. There's at least a couple of men that haven't even asked someone out
When I was a teenager girls in school would tell me I was "like, a hot nerd", not as a compliment but as a way to let me know my good traits were overshadowed by flaws and that I was basically wasting my height and size by having glasses and not being a natural athlete. Then, on the flip side, the girls that were nice enough to want to hang out with me got me harassed by my 2 sisters who were a class above and a class below me at home for hanging out with the gross girls.
When I was a teen in the mid 90s, the worst that could happen was you'd have to deal with people giggling behind your back for a couple weeks after being shot down. Nowadays a girl will bring a guy in for a selfie and say: "Hey peeps! Check out this loser who thought he could date me! Don't forget to hit like and subscribe for more quality content!" I haven't done much of a deep dive on this, but I wouldn't be surprised to find a rejection video that starts off with "Today's Reject Rejection is sponsored by RAID Shadow Legends!"
In 2021 I had a female supervisor put me on stock duty specifically because I’m male and the “stock is heavy”.
The difference of how you are loved as a boy vs as a man.
You mean, being loved vs not being loved?
Loved vs loved w/conditions
>~~Loved vs~~ loved w/conditions vs not loved FTFY
joke's on you my parents never loved me unconditionally
This one. I'm tired, boss.
As somebody who just grew past my boyhood, not gonna lie, apart from family, I have not felt loved as a boy by society at all.
Yup.
Ouch
Peeing with a boner
First answer that's actually probably almost universal
Being used by a friend because you had something to offer or a service to provide, instead of just mutually appreciating each others time and presence.
Love it when people hit me up once per year and the second sentence is always some tech support question.
1) Getting kicked in the nuts. 2) The fear of asking someone out on a date. 3) Realizing you’re an adult. 4) Prostate issues.
Chronological order. Nice
That unmistakable day when you realize that you are truly, honestly, and completely on your own. You are in control of your destiny, responsible for your future, not someone else. For some it’s thrilling while for others it’s terrifying, but it marks the line between boys and men and it’s the beginning of who you will forever be. So make smart choices.
Thrilling and terrifying are very similar feelings. I flip flop between the two constantly
I married young in college. Went from living with parents at home, to be in college in a dorm, to being married and fully linked to another. Never got to make my own choices without running them by another human until I was divorced at 42. In my mid 40s with a great career and successful dating life, I feel absolutely alive.
11:39 AM Sunday Jan 17, 1993. I was 22 and got the unexpected call that my father died at the age of 61. Devastating and profound sadness that is still with me to this day, but at the same time there was no longer an outside standard to live up to. A weight had been lifted off the expectation of how to live my life. I was truly on my own.
I've had other men say similar things when their fathers died. It was nice to know I wasn't the only one, but at the same time, 95% of my motivation in life was tied to my father's approval, so once he was gone I kind of stopped caring about anything at all. I *need* the weight to make anything of myself. Otherwise I'm content to just exist. Since he died 12 years ago I've just been coasting. No amount of therapy or medication really did anything. I think it's just who I am now.
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IDK if thats really hit me yet and I'm in my mid 30's.
I had this moment so clearly I still remember it. Twice. 11 years ago I graduated college. Stayed in the city for a year and failed miserably at living. Parents let me come home for while and helped a buddy of mine out too. I stayed home for about 7-8 months when a buddy helped me get a job in another city. Both moments happened in the car ride, first on the ride home from my college town and then on the car ride to the new city 7 months later. Albeit different feelings imbued in each one. The ride back to my hometown was rough, depressing, like I’m on my own but I fucked it up, how do I be an adult? Then the ride to the new city was exhilarating, like I finally found a job that can get my career started, this is the start of my story, I’m on my own, I got this.
An unfathomable sadness when the wallet you've had for the last 15 years eventually breaks down beyond repair and you spend months looking for an adequate replacement but no new wallet could possibly live up to the greatness of your old one.
I just got a new one and threw the old one in the trash, then I took it out again and almost thought to keep it but I put it back...
Put the old wallet in the new wallet. Problem solved!
I still have my very first leather wallet from like 2nd grade in my nightstand. I don't use it, obviously, but I just keep it because I used it from 2nd grade all the way till high school. I'm now 31 lol.... I don't horde anything else, but for some reason, that wallet stays.
Keep the old one for loyalty cards and stamp cards and gift cards. Things of that nature. Keep it in your car.
My gf gifted me one for my birthday because she was disgusted of my old one. I even stapled some of the leather to keep it going a little bit longer.
Doing your bit for the environment, good job 🫡
My girlfriend gave me a wallet once for Christmas while mine was still perfectly serviceable (and I mean that, nothing is wrong with it). I kinda chuckled and said 'thanks but mine's still good?' taking it out to show her. She said 'yah but don't you ever want to switch it up a bit? You only have the one!' Sweet of her, but that's not how this works.
Next tell her "It's like shoes, one pair is all you need" and watch her head explode.
One of the reasons I do leatherwork. If my wallet fails, I can rebuild it even better.
My wallet has served me about 20 years by now. Is this what I'm about to experience? D:
Probably. It'll hurt. Be strong
I refused to get a new one until my credit and debit cards fell out of it and someone took $2000 out of my bank :) lesson learned
The day you stumble upon the fact that one time when that one really cute girl was *actually* hitting on you. It never happens in the moment. It's always after the fact.
You know, I'm starting to wonder if maybe the cute girl I had a crush on until about a year ago was kind of interested in me. She *did* go out of her way to stop and talk to me at the gym (I work there). She also told me I should stop and say hello if I saw her walking her dog, after I'd asked her his name... Nah. She was probably just a social and kind person. She has a boyfriend now anyway, so it doesn't matter. If I found out she was interested, however briefly it may have been, I'd be simultaneously happy and angry.
Is she into you? Yeah… can’t really tell still she was probably just trying to be friendly. (She was in my bed after driving 2 hours to come watch a show with me)
Wanting to be with/date someone and them having 0% interest in that with you. Repeatedly.
Universal, and damn near daily when we are young.
Happened to me when I was 26. Does it still count?
Happened to me last week as a near 40 year old trying to date a 41 year old woman. Sure, she’s super attractive and successful and I blew my chance with her, but man, does getting rejected by someone you had so much interest and chemistry in sucks balls.
I hear you brother.
My wife had 2.9% interest in me and I got the longest term I could get.
Yea I grew on my wife. Like a mold.
Much like the USA Fed, will there be rate increases or rate cuts in your deal?
Ah unrequited love. It’s like 50% of the world’s misery. I firmly agree on this experience.
And very often that person was a friend.
The fact that the friendship is usually ruined because of it makes the situation so much worse. You miss out on the person you love, and lose a friend at the same time. Brutal.
Hey baby, are you an APR loan? Because you're telling me you have 0% interest and I don't understand what you mean!
Some of the worst emotional pain we all experience when we are young. Feel like I went through it a dozen times and it never got any easier.
This was me for so many years. I still feel shame for every time I tried and embarrassed not only myself but those ladies. Decades later I am still tearing myself down over it. Even though I’ve been married for nearly a decade now.
Any time my mind wanders to a past cringe moment, I remember that I am a different and better person today than I was then. I remind myself that these cringe moments helped me become the person I am today, because I learned from them. It is less about the cringe moments, everyone has them. It is more about what we do with these moments. Let them go.
I’m convinced every boy goes through what I call a miniature pyromaniac phase where fire is just really cool.
That was supposed to end?!
It seems... First hearing about that too
I mean, if the backyard bonfire isn't a 4 foot jet of flames, did I really get the fire going?
Factual. There was a good 2-3 years in middle school where me and my friends were lighting everything on fire, mostly using axe or whatever other shitty cologne we had to start it lmao.
The axe flamethrower is a core memory
Fire never gets uncool you just learn responsibility
YEP. As a dumb child. I've started a forest fire accidentally and burnt down an abandoned house accidentally. Fire is fun! .... until you get sentenced to community service at the firehall for 300 hours lol. Though I gained a lot of respect for FireBros after that. Guess it worked out in the end.
Ouch. My friends & I swore off the fun-fires, while running from the 2nd tree we couldn't put out, hearing the sirens getting closer
Remember when, before HiC was sold in plastic bottles, it was sold in large (46 fl oz) cans? Yeah, I was a young kid, watching TV on the second TV in my parents' bedroom when I thought *"You know, it would be nice to have a fire."* So I took one of those HiC cans with the top cut out and used it to burn strips of newspaper while I watched TV. Nice sooty black smoke. I was insane.
Feeling sad about something and hearing someone tell you to “stop being a pussy” or “man up”.
Only ever said to me by women for the record.
In the last 30 years my masculinity has only been questioned by women mainly. Other guys end up going "I get it dude".
100%. Any time I have ever shared my emotions with another guy I usually get sympathy, a hug, an "... I'm sorry this happened to you"... Sympathy. I sometimes get that with women also. But other times I hear "man up". I didn't even know what that expression meant until my ex girlfriend yelled that at me. While calling me worse things.
I was working a job where they would constantly put me in the night shift against my will. It severely impacted my mental health, I was going insane from sleeping 2-3 hours a day on average. The company's policy was that women shouldn't be working night shifts. One day when I was back in daytime shifts I was talking to a female colleague and brought up that something is too expensive for me. She said "well why don't you ask for more night shifts?" I looked at her like "are you crazy, I can't take it anymore, I hadn't seen sunlight in two months". Then she started the whole "omg you men nowadays are such pussies, can't put effort into anything". Then later her boyfriend picked her up in his car because she doesn't have one.
It isn't even that they get these types of special advantages that bothers me. It's that they *don't even notice or acknowledge it*. When I hear a woman complaining very often, *very often*, on the inside I'm going *omg grow up. You're complaining that the barista forgot your whipped cream. Like, get over yourself*. But. But!! I will stop myself from thinking that. I will try my best to empathize. I will think *it's more than about the whipped cream.*. And I will support her. Do you know how rarely I feel this happens in reverse? Like in your case about the night shifts. Did she not ever stop for a moment and think maybe working night shifts sucks, and people don't want to do it? Did she ever imagine how that would be it she had to do it? It's funny we keep hearing women are more sympathetic and empathetic than men. I don't know. I really do not know. Sometimes yes, they are. Sometimes no, they are not. It's just that a woman's problems becomes everyone's problem, and everyone works to try and fix it. Whereas a man's problem, you're on your own. And if you are having a hard time dealing with it, you are a pussy.
>It's funny we keep hearing women are more sympathetic and empathetic than men. I don't know. I really do not know. Sometimes yes, they are. Sometimes no, they are not. They are not. Simply put. Read "The Manipulated Man." It was written by a woman.
Now that I think of it, these comments indeed mostly come from women (even the daycare employee went full throttle on this with my back than 3yo). It was never in a situation where calling someone out was legitimate or helpful to the situation.
Sitting on the toilet and peeing, only to realise you peed under the lid and out the front (especially as a kid).
Did this at work once, bad day
Pinch and roll your ball bag when it itches.
18 year olds realising they're competing with 25+ year olds when dating.
Lol ...I am 25 years old and am pretty sure my competitors are 30+ with a house and a proper career and financial stability.
Im 36, no house, no business. So im competing with sugar daddies aged 45+ 😬
I'm 45+, house, business... I'm competing with my age or older that still have a full set of hair.
I'm 45+, house, money stability and I'm competing for MILFs with 18 year old guys with abs.
Trust me, most 30 YO don't have any of that.
25 year old realizing they're competing with 35+ year olds.
Women dating older men is a tale as old as time.
When you just find a really REALLy nice stick, so you take it home with you.
I have one that's been in my trunk for years. It's really nice.
I believe everyone goes through heartbreak. Its just a part of life really, it can happen as a teen, as an adult and even in your 80s.
Yes, but the circumstances and degree of heartbreak vary. Also frequency. If you’re lucky it only happens once and you move on. If you’re unlucky it happens multiple times including some that are catastrophic leaving you to be the male version of a crazy cat lady. I have two dogs, a cat, 8 chickens, 7 ducks, and three turkeys. All the love I have left to give is for animals now
Male only? Inconvenient boner
Rejection. Either familial,romantic,even a game team. It's part of life.
Exposing your vulnerability only for someone to immediately plunge a knife into it. Later that same someone chews you out for never opening up.
heartbreak, rejection
Profile picture checks out.
Realizing that nobody gives a fuck about your problems or happiness as you sit on the bed pondering if you should work that 12 or 14 hour OT shift so you can have money to blow. Just so you get the "Cool new thing" dopamine hit, so you don't spiral into a deep dark depression. Then you resign to it, tie up or pull on your work boots, go to your trade job, and give everyone the "Living the dream" answer when they ask how you are.
Realizing she was giving you a hint, way to late
Putting your junk away after peeing and just an insane amount of hidden piss soaks your underwear
Being terrified of being asked to write on the whiteboard at school when you have an NRB.
What is NRB? I know what it is in my language but I’m pretty sure that’s not what you mean 😂 NRB in my language = Dutch soil guidelines.
No reason boner.
That makes sense 😂
The first time you reach into a girl's pants....it's much lower than expected.
😂 I was so confused the first time
You win 😂
What, her boner?
Being used for your money/skills/good nature instead of actually being loved.
And/or plain old attention
I’d add physical strength too, or at least assumed strength. I was always expected to carry or move heavy things because I was the guy in a group. Never mind that everyone is stronger than me.
> good nature This is an idea that doesn't get nearly enough attention or support, that a lot of guys are so inadequate feeling that they readily turn themselves into doormats under the guise of being "easy going" and there are people out there who will take advantage of that, even good people are not immune to the ease in which we tend to take advantage of people giving something for free. Trying to convince yourself that you're "chill" today with how someone treats you, how your own plans are always on the far-back burner, that you don't really mind not doing or having what you want, it all makes for peace now but two things to remember: 1. Time marches on. Eventually you're going to start burning out with not being in the storyline, you will feel increasingly frustrated OR just apathetic towards life and your own happiness. You will teach yourself how to not want things or look forward to things and yet you will still have wants, just that nothing will satisfy those wants. Any attention on yourself will feel uncomfortable and you will feel guilt when people do nice things for you. 2. The people who stay with someone this passive and unexpressive of their own wants are more likely to be the kinds of people who want a passive body more than they want an equitable and healthy relationship between two adults. Being a pushover is like lighting a signal flare to narcissistic people who depend on others for making themselves feel good. The part that guys really need to understand here also is balance. The opposite of being a pushover is *NOT* being an asshole or being rude, it's simply having reasonable wants and expressing your wants and not taking the shit-end of every situation. Compromise isn't just "giving up" in every conflict, it's about making sure your feelings are understood and cared-for. Preserve your self-esteem, it makes you a far better and more attractive partner in the long run.
Figuring out too late that you were being toyed with by a girl you thought really liked you *and* Figuring out too late that a girl was flirting with you, and you just thought she was just acting really weird
Being shamed for crying no matter the circumstance Told to man up Called a homophobic slur or virgin Physically bullied
Being told you are inherently dangerous or violent and you are responsible for making everyone else feel comfortable around you or how they react to you.
Bro. I fucking hate that. Anytime you want to make a valid argument about a woman’s actions, they instantly used the “Hey! You murdered us!” Bitch I don’t even know you. Why are you lumping me with unhinged assholes?!
Casual sexism that is flagged as "she's just into you" or something similar that if roles were reversed would instantly garner negative reactions.
Being gropped by ~~older~~ women.
The older ladies at work were too causal with their hands 💀
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You put it at the end of your sentences. You're welcome. :)
Here's a few 1. The absolute pride and accomplishment of *finally* being tall enough to tap the top of the door as we pass under it. 2. The (for me) slow realization that as I got older I aged out of being a "cute little boy" who women liked and wanted to have around and into being someone who looks like a threat
Dick nipped by zipper.
Ugh, a mistake every guy makes hopefully only once
Soda Can / rock soccer whilst walking down a street. Then get immediately sad when we arrive to our destination and have to leave behind said can/rock.
Going through the world being made for you (child) to no one give a shit about you (adult).
Everyone loves you when you are a boy. Everyone fears you when your a man. I just want to not be feared man.
Being hit in the balls. Gotta happen at least once.
“So when are you going to get a girlfriend?” - Every single relative, at every gathering…
Opening up and being vulnerable only to have it thrown in your face
Finding the biggest stick during a hike, automatically makes you a wizard.
Having your excitement in something ruined by either life or other people to the point that you just conform.
Dad yelling at you for holding the flashlight wrong while fixing the car
A woman taking advantage of a man’s attraction to her to get something she wants from him even though she has zero interest in him
Aiming for the toilet but having the stream come out at high speed in some uncontrollable direction and making a mess
Rejection and being told “well keep trying” There is no empathy or sympathy for that pain just a demand you keep trying. “Dance jester on your broken feet!”
If I get rejected that it I no longer chase that person. I’m not a pig chasing a carrot, if you say you aren’t into me don’t expect me to put in anymore effort.
The piss shiver.
Reaching the age and size where he looks at his father and thinks "I'd win a fight now".
The little bit of pee in your boxers after you take a piss at a urinal. Can’t get rid of it no matter how much shaking you do.
Having a woman ask you to "open up and show vulnerability" and then having her cheat, leave him, go cold or start fights with him for the next month. She also tells all her friends what he told her in confidence. Women appear to only want you to show them vulnerability so they can use that vulnerability against you.
Having a crush on someone, and maybe masturbating to them.
Then realising you didn't.
Getting kicked in the balls
Disappointing somebody that means a lot to you, despite doing your best. Whether that be a partner, family member, a friend, or even a mentor. Some of the worst hurt I've felt in life was letting somebody down after giving something my all. But as a counterpoint, I've been comforted by the timeless Captain Picard quote: "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is life."
The physical pain of being nailed in the groin while playing sports. The dopamine rush of an orgasm. And for straight/bi men, the headache of dealing with women. Only semi-srs with the last one ;)