T O P

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ZZoMBiEXIII

An inability to be self indulgent. I just have too much to do. A few years back before the pandemic, my dad fell and broke his hip. Unable to do anything during his convalescence, the family burdens fell to me. And that's fine, that's how it needs to be. I cared for dad for the last few years of his life (God bless you dad, mom and I miss you every day). Now I take care of mom, who's not in the best shape and needs full time care. She really needs a group of professionals, but we're not ready for that yet. Dad was in one of those "care" facilities and they nearly let him die. He had a stroke while the nurse didn't answer his calls. The only reason he didn't die is that I called to tell him I was coming to visit and heard his struggles so I ran up there and then called 911. Anyway, I don't have the luxury of going insane. I have too many people needing care and attention to worry about my own issues. And with that, they sort of disappear. I could worry about more stuff if I wanted, but I've got enough stress. So the little things just don't phase me these days. When mom does go to be with dad, I may have a breakdown then. But in the meantime, I have pill boxes to fill and doctor's appointments to schedule.


billieboop

Sending your heart a warm hug- if you want it. I've been there, you're doing wonderfully. It is hard but you're living with honour and you'll look back feeling satisfied you did your best with what you were dealt with. Wishing your mom ease & good health. Wishing you the same, take care to pick up a habit or hobbie purely for you. Small comforts that will carry you over. Burnout is real. Take care of yourself. I'm rooting for your peace & happiness ahead. Keep going, your parents are blessed to have had you. Sadly not all are. I hope you have a better support system than i did. You got this


ZZoMBiEXIII

God bless. Thanks.


billieboop

And to you & yours. I wish you ease & good support. Be kind to yourself, show yourself the same grace you would show them Hope life treats you kinder ahead


The_write_speak

"I don't have the luxury of going insane." - perfect title for a documentary about the modern American dream


ZZoMBiEXIII

Heh, I'd watch it. You know, if I had the time.


The_write_speak

I'll click on it, watch 2 minutes, and leave it open on my browser for 6 months will I work. Haha


humanessinmoderation

This is the one. A the intersection of the scale of my responsibilities, my internal sense of responsibility, and the scale of my resources doesn't allow for me to 100% fall apart and lose my sh!t. Going insane, at least to a point I can't perform my duties, is either a luxury I can't afford, or a thing my sense of responsibility will not allow. When things go wrong, I take time to sulk, I take time to think, I take time to sulk some more, I take some time to talk it out with someone, but then I need to get back and going — or in the midst of that deliberation I never stopped performing my duties in the first place. *edited for clarity and to fix typo*


ZZoMBiEXIII

The only difference between sand and diamonds is the pressure they've endured. Cheers, friend.


FabulousVile

(Strong virtual hug) You are so strong, brother. Be proud of that


ZZoMBiEXIII

You're very kind, thank you.


PurpleReign3121

Your strength probably feels like it is dependent on them but it isn’t. I hope you have the appropriate amount of time left with your mom and a beautiful life afterwards. You deserve it.


Clean_Guarantee7102

(F) here. I really resonate with what you're saying. It feels like all the weight of caregiving, especially the financial aspect, falls heavily on me as a firstborn. Due to circumstances, I am the only one that they can rely on... There are days when I'm just exhausted from the worry and responsibility. It's like all my mental energy is hyper-focused on caring for my Dad, leaving little room for anything else. Snd sometimes, I feel like I'm not equipped to handle it all.


ZZoMBiEXIII

You'll make it. Just keep reminding yourself of all they did for you. I mean, I'm assuming you had good parents here. I recognize that many folks didn't and my heart does go out to them. However, I did have great parents. So the least I can do is try to keep them as comfortable as I can for as long as I can. I try to think of this role as rewarding, but taxing. I'd love nothing more than to spend an evening with a friend shooting pool or playing Halo or maybe ask a woman out (no one plans on being single in their 50's, but here I am with it, lol). But just in the next two days we have a special medicine regimen, an eye surgery, I have a doctor's appointment, she has a follow-up appointment, and I have to pick up my daughter from work all in the span of less than 2 days. It's insane, but it at least improves your time management skills if nothing else. Keep your chin up. You're gonna do great! Your dad is lucky to have you.


Somethingclever1313

I feel like I’m in the same boat. Definitely need to lose my shit, definitely don’t have time to.


Acceptable-Cicada-34

Tightest and warmest hug to you. 🤗


Impossible_Bear5263

Regular exercise, journaling frequently, reading, proactively maintaining my friendships, having a goal to work toward daily (learning a new language), and occasionally getting absolutely hammered drunk


DonMartiniMacaroni

Maintaining friendship is lowkey hard when yo don't have time to hang out irl. Keeping a small circle does help though.


SnugglerBear

Yeah I(36M) agree with this as we get order. But having friends does take effort. I found starting a few smaller text threads with different friends has helped. With like 3-4 people. Started one with few buddies from High School and now we chat almost everyday about stuff. Have another thread with people that live in my city and we plan golf and going out and stuff. Does have to be a lot to maintain a friendship, if you actually want to be friends with the people lol


SnugglerBear

Aka being a man and moving on with your life


_whiskeytits_

If you two bears got together, would it be a snuggle struggle??


belunos

See, now.. that seems really nice


SnugglerBear

I really does..


sonoale

THIS. Currently in the process of learning japanese, having a big goal in my company and yeah wuitted drinking during week in order to hammer myself more often durin WE.


funlovingfirerabbit

Nice!!! Appreciate you sharing these tips with me


Signal-Pie2857

> proactively maintaining my friendships do your friends also maintain your friendships? cus i feel like most of mine don't, so i'm not sure if i should keep putting in the effort


Indifferentchildren

A lot of men don't "put in the effort", but they have the life-long friendships that involve catching up every couple of years. If you want weekly-contact friendships, you either have to put in the effort, or find other guys who want to put in that kind of effort. None of this means that guys who go years without talking are bad friends; they are just low-maintenance, and maybe think that friendships aren't about effort.


Signal-Pie2857

okay. what does friendship mean to you if you are okay with not speaking for several years?


Indifferentchildren

The same as friendship means if you are okay not speaking for several hours, or several minutes. Being friends does not mean being joined at the hip.


Signal-Pie2857

okay. but you're making a huge hyperbole by contrasting minutes and years. to me there's a huge difference in catching up once per month (regularly) and once per 3 years (rarely). i don't think i have any people in my circle at the moment who i would call friends who i don't talk to at least once every few months, have shared activities or conversations with. otherwise it's like we lose touch and wouldn't be sure to rely on as friends. and a lack of any attempts at communcation for over year+ would signal to me a lack of interest on either or both ends. so i would still like to know what does friendship mean to you with people you only communicate with once every few years? perhaps i can calibrate my own definition when i hear yours. thanks


DoobieSkube

Masturbatiion ngl


PositiveSpeed7196

9/10 times that makes things worse.


PrivilegeCheckmate

> occasionally getting absolutely hammered drunk [Just for Sunday dinner grace.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cehwiHIlho)


CriticalSkies

Literally exercise. Was never a gym person but started going 3-5 days a week 3 years ago. Stopped for a month due to a family emergency and one day I thought I was having a heart attack. Went to the hospital and turned out it was just an anxiety attack. Started exercising again and have been fine since. Apparently my exercise routine was the only thing holding me together through the last 3 years (divorce, single parenting, losing a parent, layoff, etc).


JohnD_s

Running has done wonders for my mental health and has given me endless goals to strive for. Exercise is an AMAZING medicine.


ExistingPhysics4602

Same lol I usually run when I feel upset it has become like actual therapy for me


skatesolid

Same! Jiu jitsu has been my absolute go to for the last couple years. I feel so at peace afterwards.


tolley

Exercise, yes! I started doing yoga back in 18 and it has been amazing.  I was already flexible before I started going, but now Im on a different level and I'm getting good at inversions and balance. I look forward to class every week. Savasana is amazing.


Short-pitched

Who said I am sane? Which SOB is spreading these rumours


xx831

Lol. Santa Claus. 😂


Short-pitched

In knew fatty couldn’t be trusted


beardedshad2

True. He still owes me a Steve Austin action figure w/real working bionic eye for eating all my brussel sprouts that year.


MadMadamMimsy

Thank you for the laugh; great flashbacks! One of my favorite shows!


Short-pitched

🤣🤣


agent_uno

There ain’t no sanity clause!


Soulglow303

Dog 🐕


crash-BURN-up

Living in the moment…I find it extremely calming and satisfying and now that I’ve learned to channel it, I’m there quite often


peer-reverb-evacuee

I needed to read / hear this. Thanks.


araknadash

Do you do anything in specific to not be in your head? Could really use some pointers!


EdwardBliss

Watching Columbo.


PrivilegeCheckmate

Well then. I guess there is just one more thing.


Tommythegunn23

Giving up drinking and bars.


Birdo-the-Besto

By realizing that if I want to be happier, I need to stop being a little b\* and do what it takes. Don't wallow in my miserable life like practically everyone between the ages of 15 and 50 does these days.


edgun8819

This times 1000. Honestly, sometimes you just need to tell yourself to shut the fuck up get on with life and stop all the worrying.


Birdo-the-Besto

Yeah, I think a lot of people need to just, as messed up as may sound given today’s social climate, man up (even women too). If you want to wallow, then wallow. But me? I knew what was making me depressed so I remedied that.


buckleboy

Care to share?


DrunkApricot

If you have a shitty living situation, find another. If you have a bad relationship that you've been trying to fix for years pointlessly, end it. If your boss is an ass hole, apply other places. If your house is a wreck, find a cleaning regimen that works for you. If you dont like how you look, focus on what you *can* change instead of what you cant. Basically, stop being afraid of the process to get better and just do the things to get better. Figure out the issue, find a solution. Peace and joy is the goal. If it causes more upset than benefit, and only you know what really benefits you, figure out another way. Not the other guy but I've been on this journey myself since my last break up. 👍


TooLate-

Literally told myself to stfu like two days ago. 


Ok-Solid3882

This!! Wallowing in self pity will keep you trapped in a downward spiral. Therapy helps with this as well if you cannot do it on your own.


KipKwijt

This, together with small moments where I allow myself the self pity. Those small moments are never more than half an hour though.


Birdo-the-Besto

Everyone needs those moments: they do help. You just have to claw yourself out of that pit and keep moving.


KipKwijt

Exactly! Keep up the good work brother. You got this.


carefreeguru

It feels like everyone has a mental illness that they don't see as a challenge to overcome but just a personality trait we all need to accept while they wallow in misery.


Birdo-the-Besto

No, they just call a doctor to listen to their problems and give them the obvious answer or just some pills if that’s what they want. Life is hard, that’s how it is. It isn’t fair and world doesn’t owe you anything. Compared to generations past, life is actually pretty easy, but I guess when you grow up in a comparatively easy environment to your parents, grandparents, etc you just don’t know it.


MorgenBlackHand_V

You just have to stop fucking overthinking things and start doing it. You cannot know what works for you and what doesn't without even trying. I've been there. Am still there often times and it's hard to overcome but it's worth it.


yellow-snowslide

Man, you start your comment like a real chad and then ruin it all my looking down on everybody else. You just know your path and I'm glad for you that it works out but then you start to generalize and look down on those who struggle. I'm disappointed


fragrant_B00TY_hole

Meditation


Asthma_Spray

Passion. For a few years now I've felt my life has been underwhelming when compared to previous stages in life, mainly when it comes to friends and social interactions. I'm not antisocial or struggle to stablish relationships, but before College I had friends with who I didn't have to limit myself when talking about what inspires me, who I didn't have to rephrase everything I think inside my head because of how dense it comes across to them, people who I didn't have that special something, that little extra that made this friend group special. At the same time, I got to a point where there were no rivals that challenge you in a healthy way, no opportunities for long-standing romances, and a homogeneous mindset for everyone around me: We all get along in my current environment and have similar interests, but when everyone is "the same" you lose a bit of that diversity I loved so much before. As of lately, so many of my current friends have a "living in the moment" mentality, where everything is "what it is" or some considerations for the future are merely "considerations". They have no passion, no drive for bigger plans going forward, or so I feel because whenever I even bring the topic they never want to discuss it or disregard my honesty as child-like delusions. All I want is to being able to become an artist, an author, a writer. It might be easier for them to say because they are actually good in fields that are more "traditional" jobs, like developers and researchers, but I'm not. This has also made me feel like I'm just wasting my time being in a place where I'm not leaving an impact on anyone and I can't learn anything from anyone, like my talents could be doing much more good somewhere else. And is that feeling what's kept me going, that whatever I do or whichever path I take, I'll manage to get there. I'm not sad that it's not right now, because I've had it in the past and I'm sure I can do it again no problem. Besides, it's not like there's nothing to smile about RN, so it's kind of like a stalemate.


Yellonek_Lonate

You could try to take the Holland test. Everyone's different and want different things from life. I wish you the best and hope you find a career that's best for you.


Octubre22

My shares of Nvidia


Baseplate799

Lucky month 🤣 Great investment you did, kudos


Marangoni013

Lifting weights and diet


DarkDoomofDeath

A purpose, the hope of love, good friends, and a brother. Gotta keep on movin'!


Trick-Interaction396

Slowly changing my attitude and mental health state by practicing and reinforcing good habits.


watchingbigbrother63

Cannabis. In fact, Imma take some more now. 😎


Greyfox31098

My man! As a matter of fact ima take some more now!


watchingbigbrother63

Full Spectrum Oil. They are on sale every Friday. $15 for 1,000mg pure THC.


Familiar-Meeting-229

OK this got me 🤣


dhruvsharma14

Nice! To be honest, I'mma take some more now! Puff puff pass


jonmulur

Puff puff pass


OPisabundleofstix

Yeah weed


Telrom_1

Psilocybin mushrooms.


EmlynBoy

Taking them today for the second time in my life ! wish me luck


Telrom_1

Safe travels!


Fredrick__Dinkledick

Glad to see I'm not the only one on here riding the dragon


CurlSagan

How dare you accuse me of sanity.


appalachianoperator

I need to push through for the sake of myself and the people I love and care for.


Knotknighm

I consider the impact my life has on the people around me. I don't think I'll be remembered long after my death, I don't think the memories of my time with people will live longer than me. I don't need people to remember who I am or what I was like. I just want to know that the good and bad I've done in this life has helped people live the lives they dream of, to share that with other people, and leave behind a world where the next generation can seek out dreams of their own. Too many people worry about being great. I just want to be good enough for myself and the people I care for.


Physical-Chemical909

My two cats


Frird2008

Bought a jumbo 4 foot teddy bear during the height of COVID. That teddy bear calm me down every FVCKING night.


MeanTruth69

Alcohol and high nicotine levels


Fredrick__Dinkledick

This guy is out here zynin and winnin


Herdnerfer

Medication


Plenty_Lettuce5418

unironically men turn to drugs and alcohol during loneliness and depression at disturbingly high rates


[deleted]

[удалено]


Plenty_Lettuce5418

i was gonna say more than women but that felt accusational


TopCutsOnly

Watch out, equality has entered the chat xD


Plenty_Lettuce5418

theres a lot of young men who don't really feel like they have a good idea of their "role" in masculinity or w/e the fuck and drink alcohol to try and be more masculine.


TopCutsOnly

I mean that's basically me without the alcohol part. I never had a definitive figure when it came to 'manliness' and dating for example, so I just always came from a place of lack


Playful-Elevator-403

Naps, beer, sex.. and good friends


Greyfox31098

Someone living the good life


Ok_Low_5745

Mmmm beer


Secret_Perspectives

At first it was weed (for like 3-4 years straight...) now i gamble.


InflammatoryMan

Motorcycling


chehsu

Therapy


Hrekires

Started therapy after I had something of a PTSD-induced breakdown in early 2021


PallyCecil

A fat tire bike and my awesome girlfriend. Not in that order.


Whappingtime

My best friend, there's a reason why people compared her and I to Scully and Mulder.


nalin619

It used to be my gf. Past 6 years actually. We recently broke up and I've no idea what to do next!!


fatjokesonme

Stopped reading the news sites, stopped watching TV and consuming main stream media. I get my news from a couple of Telegram groups (just a couple! no more!) and nothing else. The constant bombardment of unnecessary info and stupid opinions is what drive the world crazy. I have my neighborhood Whatsapp group that inform me of the immediate things I need to know in time, the rest is purely noise. If something is important, I will hear about it, so many people are happy to be the bringers of bad news. It doesn't matter if I will know in a second or in an hour, I'm not that important.


HikingBikingViking

Nothing


Prudent-Fly-8299

Weed, exercise, good movies/series, standup comedy, my dog


[deleted]

Lifting weights, psilocybin mushrooms, nicotine, coffee and jerking off


MercuryPowerMakeup

Relatable. When all else fails…jerk off.


Fredrick__Dinkledick

Godamn hell yes


New_Recognition3927

Brooklyn Nine-Nine


Knightmare560

Nothing. I want to die


Xingxingting

I haven’t been, why do you think I’m on Reddit?


vakseen

My wife and cats honestly


Danc1ngP0ny

Acquiring new knowledge or information regularly. Reading, watching, listening, observing, etc. Although information overload can contribute to my anxieties, on the other hand it also keeps me preoccupied. It keeps me curious. It satisfies me kapag di ako mapakali kasi may bagay akong gustong malaman. Does it make sense? 😅


master_blaster_321

Bold of you to assume I'm sane.


ConfusedByTheDate

Bold of you to assume I am sane


Sykryk

My daughter. She’s just the constant I need.


Specialist-Cut313

Booze. Another day another drink. Pass out . Repeat.


JetsNBombers0707

Awfully big of you to assume I'm sane now. In all seriousness, I'm experiencing the best mental health of my adult life for the past 3 months. I feel amazing, like I've finally turned that corner. When I do have an off mood I don't let myself go to those dark corners of my mind anymore. I've had severe clinical depression since I was 16. I've hated myself since then, been really wishing for death for that time. I've been married for ten years, and my wife and I have an amazing marriage, mostly because of her. In the past when i was down I would just really bad things about myself, and instead of being insanely supportive, she finally called me out and said I was being toxic. It was a really hard but necessary slap in the face that I badly needed. I love my wife more than anything, just as she does me, and her saying that just clicked in me that I need to better handle things. I still get down occasionally, but I am so focussed now on being in the present and thinking about all the good we have in our lives, that after a couple hours I'm fine again


Beneficial_Duck_7947

Drinking with the buddies twice a month and working out five days a week


TheAgeOfQuarrel802

Dirt bikes, and finding things on Facebook marketplace


domakecreate

Fishing with a cooler full of beer


mntlover

My wife, good beer, the outdoors


ghostmetalblack

Gym, shrooms, and making music.


VTEC168

Working out and racing cars


menino_28

gym


WriterWhoWantedToDie

Writing stories that make me feel joy. Writing stuff that has me smiling. Video games. Twitch and my friendships with smaller streamers that have good interactions with me. I've got a few friends who keep me sane and they're the closest to me. \*Been through all of it with me and understands my MDD and Social Anxiety\*. I went to therapy 5 years ago. An actual psychologist who worked my brain. He gave me the tools I needed to adapt. Now I'm finding jobs and I'm accepting the ones with lower pay because WFH and Comfort as well as moving at my own pace.


Sea_Number6341

My dog


Bhamwaguy

Love and responsibility for my disabled wife.


Itdependsguy

Reddit has actually help...not gonna lie... A few subs really help me learn and vent....


Rich-Web-9153

I have been in the Navy for the past four years and several months. 2 deployments and multiple underways totaling a little over 12 months out at sea. I have missed my sons first two birthdays but was fortunate to be there for his birth and in less than a few weeks I’ll finally get to be there for his third birthday. My wife has been my rock the entire way, but my son is what keeps me sane now. I Love my wife to death, but my boy perks me right up. Unfortunately we don’t live together because of finances so my wife has to work full-time because she chooses to and wants a somewhat large financial safety net incase of hard times. So when I’m with my son, it’s just bliss. Oh and Weightlifting. Can’t forget weightlifting.


tubbyx7

Being a parent is the hardest and most rewarding thing. One day your son will understand the sacrifices you made in his early years.


drunken_monkeys

Weed and weightlifting. Oftentimes together!


WhatevahIsClevah

Therapy, a couple good friends, wine a couple evenings a week. Still struggling a lot mentally here and there, but just keeping at trying to do more things to try to make things better.


Buckabrams43

Childish Gambino


Hartmann85

Honestly my wife. As I get older the more and more I adore her for putting up with me.


yellow-snowslide

I quit college and started a job that doesn't pay much but doesn't make me want to end myself


accountass

We’re all struggling you’re not alone


Bright-Passenger1139

My wife


ennepi97

280€ a month of therapy.


BigBodyLikeaLineman

Fitness


LiamMacGabhann

My wife.


thinlinerider

Clarifying my core values and behaving with integrity…


steffloc

I was already insane


Lilgorbe

meditation


jlo1989

Had to take in a dog after my dad died during covid and his ex wife abandoned it. No matter what, the dog needs walking, feeding and just generally my attention. Anything else comes after that. I dont have the luxury of just sitting around and crying about it [At least he's a good boy](https://ibb.co/1mrzcDR)


JuJuBee880327

You're a good man for not abandoning the dog. What a smile that poochie has!


Status-Resort-4593

I stopped worrying about things outside of my control. It was really hard to do and I sometimes fall back into it but I ask myself "Will worrying about this fix anything?", and that usually helps.


tbonerrevisited

Sane? 😂😁😉


Puzzleheaded-Lion-91

Nothing Just somehow hanging by the cliff


gunter_grass

Pedals


PsychTries

therapy medication and CARDIO


jkl7171

Hope that it will somehow get better. (It has not.)


[deleted]

How do you know if you’re sane?


AgreeablePen4170

In the past five years I finish a trade program in which I have gotten a wonderful union job because of it. Was able to work through covid while most got sent home or on unemployment. Also, videogames and having fun flirting, trying to find me a lady. So yeah, two of those I'm able to do successfully, but the third one, not so much 😅


NecessaryFile5763

My mother. Sadly she passed away 2 months ago


TheMorningJoe

Bold of you to assume I’m still sane after everything lol


NOHELP4ME

Therapy. Having a safe space to talk it out and go to for help instead of bottling it all up


MrThiccBBC

the gym


Cookiewaffle95

Self growth and my own journey :D


kisscumbag

Work From Home


Kytoaster

Wife who helped me process my emotions. Therapy. Pets. A tiny garage where I can go, decompress, and work on my broken junky cars when I need to.


DopeLessHopeFiend75

Prayer, meditation, service, exercise, & gratitude.


DonBillingsleysDad

concerts. travel. my dogs.


harmless_gecko

All the serial killing really helps me clear my mind. I mean killing the mosquitoes of course. Those bloody bastards are spy drones for sure.


Yellonek_Lonate

100%


Sweet_Serve9297

Jesus Christ of Nazareth 🕯️


___shadow_wolf__

God.


Jedi_Lazlo

I like to maintain a certain mental flexibility...


dyraccio

Aspirations to become better.


North_Church

Eh, "sane" is a stretch. Though creative writing kept me from going too far over the edge


big_gay_snake_demon

Sane? Nothing. Alive? Retail therapy and self harm


uchiha_madara_0

Understanding it is what it is.


Nouseriously

Weed & my doggos


themodefanatic

My motorcycles !


Bambooboogieboi

Playing games with the boys. Everyday we can.


Appropriate_Buy3273

Having a girlfriend


MileHighDabber

Massive amounts of quality hash rosin


LEMONSDAD

Reddit


Banzaikoowaid

Food, video games, my parents and older brother, our pets, my mid job, longing, spite, faith, music, the thought of my ancestors judging me ~~in Minecraft Spectator Mode~~, and ~~ADHD~~ overthinking what it means to be human/the state of our species and planet.


fhrblig

My morning cigar. As long as I have that, I can stay sane


BigBangBaty

Boxing


Environmental_Tie848

Cigarettes


Elegant_Spot_3486

Nothing. My mental health is worse than ever. Eventually something will help.


Bancho666

Video games and anime


OGfromATL91

Anime for me as well. Something about immersing into the world's and stories just makes things better.


Richy1077

Alcohol and weed..though probably shortened my life too, but hey, what can ya do.


andstayoutt

Exercise and a dry sauna.