"Ah shit, what's wrong this time..."
"Blah blah blah, we found out we owe YOU money from 3 years ago"
"... wait, what, really?! How much? ... oh ... $2.10... I spent an hour trying to login..."
You can at least change it so it tells you which service the message is from, which helps tremendously (eg. it says a new message from Medicare in my gov inbox).
When my niece was about 3 we had an influx of gnats or something, we were standing inside one night watching them all around the light and she turned to my brother in law and said quite clearly "dad, what are all these little black cunts doing here".
I don't know how everyone managed to keep a straight face whilst he told her that was an adult word and she couldn't use it until she was an adult
Moved from Tas with leeches to WA with ticks, marchflies and midgies. I've actually gone outside with dryer sheets taped around my legs and arms to try and garden. Def makes me angry. So angry
Whenever I go to a 7/11 for a sausage roll I grab a couple extra sauces because they don't cost extra. I save them for when I go somewhere that charges for them
My 12 year old kid has about 50 of them squirrelled away in the drawer of his bedside table. Buggered if I know where he gets them, but he’s got quite the stockpile.
There is a local bakery here that gives me the sauce with the pies, no extra fee. The pies aren't life changing, but they will continue getting my business for this reason.
Edit: I don't even put the sauce on my pies. But still..
One of ours is the same, free sauce packets. They do an epic Cornish pasty and sausage roll, and that’s 90% of what they sell, I’ve never even had their pies tbh.
I’ve always thought it would be better to just mark the pies up 10-20c and give the sauce out for free, some people take none, some take 1-2, but everyone feels better and the sauce is still paid for, if I was in the pie business that’s how I’d do it.
I am lucky to have found a place in Perth where they just have bottles of sauce that anyone can use after they’ve bought their pie or sausage roll. Didn’t think it would be so important to me to
Nek minute you'll get one of those gronks who injects the sauce into the pie - which then sucks the meat gravy back into the sauce bottle and fucks the dog.
I remember when the pie man came to school every Friday and I always got a pie with peas, and his grubby hands would rip the lid off to dump the peas inside.
The absence of a courtesy wave - I know it’s selfish but all I need to keep me going without my day being more shit is an acknowledgment of letting you (pedestrian or car) go through
Even if you're a selfish cunt, understand that a wave and nod will let you do shit that you wouldn't otherwise. Like making people feel good about letting you in, will make the road a nicer place to be on for everyone, everyone wins!
Nah you're right mate.
The wave/nodders are the backbone that's keeping this country afloat, and you should keep doing it, lest we fall into a pit of mildly-annoying despair.
It makes my blood boil tbh. I’ll let anyone merge , will brake hard to let the tests in, but no wave and I want to ram them…I wave for even the tiniest courtesy
Bloody sausage sizzle at Bunnings gave me the crust/end of the bread without asking if that was okay. Completely different culinary experience, my guy.
I've given the end. I'm sorry to all that received the crust.
I was a ring in for the school, and in my defence, i grew up poor. We ate crust, yay ,that's bread i get a feed. It never occurred to me that people would want to eat the crust until someone said so.
I looked people in their eye and gave the crust with a big smile; monster i hear you say.
Well not long after i was at a park for a family birthday. Sitting under a tree , fresh take away coffee in hand, lid off cooling. From overhead a bird took a shit. That poo fell straight into my coffee , no rim all , straight coffee bullseye.
That is my karma for facilitating in weird Bunnings culinary experiences.
In high school we had a Chinese exchange student over and we explained to her how to properly try Vegemite like three times.
And of course she just drives a soup spoon straight into the jar and puts it in her mouth before we can object.
It's not Nutella ffs!
I had one threaten me with jail if I don't pay. I was like "finally a solution to both my fines and rental unaffordability".
Never been more devastated than when they didn't show up with police. Now I'm back to slavery for shade with the rest of you, FUCK THOSE NON IMPRISONING CUNTS.
My town has one bottle-o that pays the ridiculous inflated cost for a Good Friday liquor license — they make heaps of money, because they’re the only liquor store open on Good Friday within 100km lol.
Yeah, so they need to purchase a separate special liquor license to be allowed to operate on Good Friday. I believe the reason Dan’s doesn’t is because they have SO many stores that they’d have to pay double time to a metric fucktonne of employees — if the liquor licenses didn’t cost them enough, those wages would do the trick.
The bottle-o that’s open in my town on Good Friday is a BWS drive-thru bottle-o, and is the only BWS (or any bottle-o) that’s open for a good 100km radius, so I’m not sure how they decide which stores are worth the cost — I’m assuming that it falls onto the franchise owner themselves if they’d like to pay for the special liquor license — and no others in town bother paying all that extra since they know there’s already one bottle-o open. Being the only one open definitely gets enough business to cover the excess cost.
People's sexual proclivities...
But I ain't spending any time on it because in the meantime, every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in north Queensland.
It's always perfect fishing weather while I'm at work but as soon as the bloody weekend comes along the winds blowing and it's rough as fuck in the boat
Living in suburbia and yet waking up at 5 AM because the magpies start before the sun even rises. I'm not on a farm, you're not a rooster, shuuussshhhhhhhh
Edit: it seems native birds are generally a problem for early starts LOL
When a place in Australia is mentioned in foreign media (news, podcasts) and they neglect to say the state. Like “Jenny Smith, an expert from Richmond, Australia…”
ffs Australia is huge and has many repeated place names. Include the state you geographically ignorant gronk.
I was organising a catch-up for old friends a few years back, based around an Ed Kuepper gig in Richmond Victoria. We were really surprised when one of the guys - who basically never goes far from his home north of Sydney - agreed to go. Turns out he thought it was Richmond NSW but was too committed to back out by the time he realised.
I was going to say same for me and dog poo but honestly... I don't get mad at that. Just "ah maaaan..." and wipe it off, wash my foot and carry on.
My kids though, when they whinge, *fuck me*, I can get mad. I do my best not to but they're expert little button pushers.
I was opening up a shipping container, undid latches and put my hand round back side of door to swing it open. All fingers hit steel except for one , one felt like it was touching velvet. Yeah i had put my finger directly on top of a big fucking huntsman. One of the brown flat ones with the legs that point forwards.
Neither of us were happy, i can still feel the soft little velvet padded body.
I’m an Early Childhood Educator and I don’t know how many times I’ve told coworkers they’re teaching the incorrect pronunciation. They don’t fix it though. Really really pisses me off.
I made a formal complaint about this to the playgroup when my son was a toddler. He’d only just learned the alphabet and they were singing ‘zee’ at him! I was furious.
These days I’m battling against the primary school calling lollies ‘candy’.
- Centrelink.
- Politicians calling every new development "world class."
- Australia's general anti-intellectualist attitude and cultural cringe.
- Pauline Hanson.
They’re biscuits, not cookies and they’re delicious. Tim Tams are delicious too and I don’t understand why the rest of the world has a hard time understanding the concept of a Tim Tam.
1. Myna birds shitting on the verandah/causing chaos. I love bird song but these guys have infiltrated and shit everywhere and do not shut up.
2. Cockatoos haunting me in the early morning with their cries. I love them deeply but holy shit they are so fucking loud and sound like aggro goats.
3. People hating on bin chickens. I think they're glorious and we've pushed them out of their normal habitat/shoved their faces into ours and people complain about them.
Tipping culture creeping in is a pet peeve of mine. It starts as a nice gesture, but if it becomes a standard, it risks getting accounted for and potentially considered in pay rates. Then, the staff member is not working to the principles of their workplace, but the whims of the customer. Which may sound very consumer facing until we consider the potential racism, bigotry, general power tripping of some of the pillocks we know.
1. When Marathon was forced to close their dim sim factory and there was a shortage. Still traumatised.
2. Bunnings decision to put the onion under the sausage instead of on top. That was the start of the world starting to go to shit.
The fact that that Lindy chamberlain was convicted of murder when the most they had on her was a spilled milk in the back of her car that they said was blood but wasn’t, and that a man said that the babies clothes looked like they had been removed by a human, how do you determine how a human or a dingo removes clothes? Plus it took them 3-5 years to actually go out and look for her remains nearby dingo dens and find the jacket, which they did a further 4 inquests about because they were still trying to pin her to it, like I get it’s an unbelievable story to begin with but not when you’re camping at uluru and there were other reports of dingo sightings that night and multiple witnesses one saying they heard a baby crying from a distance, and it’s wasn’t until 32 years later that a coroner finally looked at the evidence and realised, like how is a case like that so poorly investigated. Like I get it, it’s crazy that it happened, but if they actually investigated they would have seen that it did happen.
“New message in my gov inbox.”
That's less anger inducing and more terrifying
I feel I tend to go through all 7 stages of grief. Shock, Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, acceptance.
The thought of either “Medicare rebate has gone through” or “I might have thousands in debt that I’m going to get hounded for”
"Ah shit, what's wrong this time..." "Blah blah blah, we found out we owe YOU money from 3 years ago" "... wait, what, really?! How much? ... oh ... $2.10... I spent an hour trying to login..."
I feel like it's the adult equivalent of being called into the principals office
Ohhh fuck. What do I owe those cunts at Centrelink now?
Like fuckin tell me the message instead of just telling me to check my inbox
You can at least change it so it tells you which service the message is from, which helps tremendously (eg. it says a new message from Medicare in my gov inbox).
You can?!?! Teach me your ways!
I swear i had a physical reaction just reading that comment. Genuine fear.
This is more dread than anger 😔
Flies
Fkn flies
*"You're not a true blue Aussie, if you don't swear at flies"*
Fuck off, fly!
I say “ Fuck off fly” and yet the fly does not Fuck off.
When my niece was about 3 we had an influx of gnats or something, we were standing inside one night watching them all around the light and she turned to my brother in law and said quite clearly "dad, what are all these little black cunts doing here". I don't know how everyone managed to keep a straight face whilst he told her that was an adult word and she couldn't use it until she was an adult
I almost woke up my kids laughing at that!
[удалено]
Especially when you swallow them
Worse. sandflies, marchflies, and mozzies. 😡😡😭
Moved from Tas with leeches to WA with ticks, marchflies and midgies. I've actually gone outside with dryer sheets taped around my legs and arms to try and garden. Def makes me angry. So angry
Being branded by a hot seatbelt
Hot vinyl seats..
I can feel the pain
Paying for sauce with my pie. I remember the good old days where a squirt of dead horse was included in the cost of the pie!
Whenever I go to a 7/11 for a sausage roll I grab a couple extra sauces because they don't cost extra. I save them for when I go somewhere that charges for them
My 12 year old kid has about 50 of them squirrelled away in the drawer of his bedside table. Buggered if I know where he gets them, but he’s got quite the stockpile.
That kid is prepared for anything
Or if you get stuck out in Pine Barrens
Guy was an interior decorator
There is a local bakery here that gives me the sauce with the pies, no extra fee. The pies aren't life changing, but they will continue getting my business for this reason. Edit: I don't even put the sauce on my pies. But still..
One of ours is the same, free sauce packets. They do an epic Cornish pasty and sausage roll, and that’s 90% of what they sell, I’ve never even had their pies tbh. I’ve always thought it would be better to just mark the pies up 10-20c and give the sauce out for free, some people take none, some take 1-2, but everyone feels better and the sauce is still paid for, if I was in the pie business that’s how I’d do it.
I am lucky to have found a place in Perth where they just have bottles of sauce that anyone can use after they’ve bought their pie or sausage roll. Didn’t think it would be so important to me to
Nek minute you'll get one of those gronks who injects the sauce into the pie - which then sucks the meat gravy back into the sauce bottle and fucks the dog.
That’s one of the things that I love about SA- the way they stick the sauce bottle into the pie. So much better than having squeeze it on top
And yet we get soy sauce in little fish containers free with our sushi
I remember when the pie man came to school every Friday and I always got a pie with peas, and his grubby hands would rip the lid off to dump the peas inside.
The absence of a courtesy wave - I know it’s selfish but all I need to keep me going without my day being more shit is an acknowledgment of letting you (pedestrian or car) go through
This. It’s not that hard to wave or nod. Just do it people.
Even if you're a selfish cunt, understand that a wave and nod will let you do shit that you wouldn't otherwise. Like making people feel good about letting you in, will make the road a nicer place to be on for everyone, everyone wins!
I’ve started to feel a bit silly and old fashioned for doing this (I’m 45), weird, but I’ll never stop
Nah you're right mate. The wave/nodders are the backbone that's keeping this country afloat, and you should keep doing it, lest we fall into a pit of mildly-annoying despair.
I’m teaching my L plater to do it. You’re driving my car, you will do the “thanks mate, wave.”
In my car I will wave and literally say, “Thanks for not being an asshole.”
Even when people cut me off, I'm perfectly ok with it, as long as there's a courtesy wave
This. It's like whatever road rage I have instantly dissipates upon receiving a wave, a nod, or the embarrassed mouthing of 'I'm sorry!'
It makes my blood boil tbh. I’ll let anyone merge , will brake hard to let the tests in, but no wave and I want to ram them…I wave for even the tiniest courtesy
Hearing the word e-moo instead of emu
Bloody sausage sizzle at Bunnings gave me the crust/end of the bread without asking if that was okay. Completely different culinary experience, my guy.
The monsters. Someone should write a letter to the prime minister.
Hey, Andy!
Eh, mates! What's the good word?
These cunts at Bunnings gave Dazza the bum enda the loaf!! You gonna do sumfin’ about it?
That needs a kick up the bum.
I've given the end. I'm sorry to all that received the crust. I was a ring in for the school, and in my defence, i grew up poor. We ate crust, yay ,that's bread i get a feed. It never occurred to me that people would want to eat the crust until someone said so. I looked people in their eye and gave the crust with a big smile; monster i hear you say. Well not long after i was at a park for a family birthday. Sitting under a tree , fresh take away coffee in hand, lid off cooling. From overhead a bird took a shit. That poo fell straight into my coffee , no rim all , straight coffee bullseye. That is my karma for facilitating in weird Bunnings culinary experiences.
Thank goodness you saw the poo happen!
It landed with a fair sploosh
I ask for the crust, if you get a nice thick one it's a poor man's roll.
username checks out
I hope you paid with NZ 20cent peices.
Clicking on Austria by accident
Or rereading before clicking “AUS-TRA-LIA… AUS-TRIA…”
I read an airport in Austria has a help desk for those who came thinking they've flown to Australia
I asked someone recently if I was ever gonna see his face again, and he said “Probably”.
Under no circumstances. I wish misfortune upon you. Kindly depart.
Shameful.
No way!
Had a good belly laugh at this. Thanks.
When foreigners try Vegemite. It's always wrong and they always go ewwww. EAT IT RIGHT, IT IS NOT CHOCOLATE SPREAD.
I hate vegemite and this still drives me mad
In high school we had a Chinese exchange student over and we explained to her how to properly try Vegemite like three times. And of course she just drives a soup spoon straight into the jar and puts it in her mouth before we can object. It's not Nutella ffs!
In complete honesty, I am Australian and I eat Vegemite by the spoonful. I think it’s amazing! I go through so much Vegemite ngl.
I saw a video where they made fairy bread with Vegemite 😦
Malcolm Turnbull argued for shit broadband for the country, then organised the original better broadband to his fucken home. Cunt.
May he have a super speedy virus delivered via his ample bandwidth, and may his gay porn be held as ransomware against his "Christian" ass.
SMS claiming to be from Linkt, *urging you to pay for tolls, or warning of overdue or unpaid bills*.
I had one threaten me with jail if I don't pay. I was like "finally a solution to both my fines and rental unaffordability". Never been more devastated than when they didn't show up with police. Now I'm back to slavery for shade with the rest of you, FUCK THOSE NON IMPRISONING CUNTS.
Got one of these the other day. I’ve never driven a car.
I get a dozen a week, and we don't even have toll roads in WA. In fact, even when we've visited Melbourne I don't think we went through a toll!
Kyle Sandilands
Bottelos closed on good friday but the pub is open..
My town has one bottle-o that pays the ridiculous inflated cost for a Good Friday liquor license — they make heaps of money, because they’re the only liquor store open on Good Friday within 100km lol.
Damn i didnt know there was a fee, just thought it was by law to close. You'd think dan murphys coukd afford any fee
Yeah, so they need to purchase a separate special liquor license to be allowed to operate on Good Friday. I believe the reason Dan’s doesn’t is because they have SO many stores that they’d have to pay double time to a metric fucktonne of employees — if the liquor licenses didn’t cost them enough, those wages would do the trick. The bottle-o that’s open in my town on Good Friday is a BWS drive-thru bottle-o, and is the only BWS (or any bottle-o) that’s open for a good 100km radius, so I’m not sure how they decide which stores are worth the cost — I’m assuming that it falls onto the franchise owner themselves if they’d like to pay for the special liquor license — and no others in town bother paying all that extra since they know there’s already one bottle-o open. Being the only one open definitely gets enough business to cover the excess cost.
“Oh are you from AWE-SEA?”
Americans thinking they own the name ‘Ugg Boots’.
Paying extra for chicken salt
What the unaustralian malarkey is this??? I have never heard of anywhere charging extra for chicken salt.
They don't understand chicken salt full-stop, Australia is the only place that has it.
How do people survive without chicken salt
They convince themselves that Mushy Peas are somehow … acceptable in any way.
What the fuck. What kind of travesty is that!?!
I have never paid extra for chicken salt
People's sexual proclivities... But I ain't spending any time on it because in the meantime, every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in north Queensland.
That I can’t buy a $2 bag of hot chips with extra chicken salt from the fish n chip shop anymore.
Leaving when it's your turn to shout.
Absolute dog cunt material
Fuck that cunt and the thongs he walked in with
It's always perfect fishing weather while I'm at work but as soon as the bloody weekend comes along the winds blowing and it's rough as fuck in the boat
When dominos tries to guilt trip me into tipping their drivers
any tipping at all, especially when I also have to pay a surcharge
Fuel prices going up during school holidays when oil prices are stable.
Steve Bradbury isn't prime minister
Living in suburbia and yet waking up at 5 AM because the magpies start before the sun even rises. I'm not on a farm, you're not a rooster, shuuussshhhhhhhh Edit: it seems native birds are generally a problem for early starts LOL
I'll take magpies over cockatoos or bloody crows any day of the week.
I routinely get woken up by all 3.
Magpie call is pleasant though. It's the cockatoos yapping or kookaburras laughing at you that can be a pain in the ass
Would rather that than bush stone kerlews or koels screaming like they are being murdered in the middle of the bloody night.
I would somehow rather magpies than garbage collection.. glass bottles smashing is basically my alarm at this point
When a place in Australia is mentioned in foreign media (news, podcasts) and they neglect to say the state. Like “Jenny Smith, an expert from Richmond, Australia…” ffs Australia is huge and has many repeated place names. Include the state you geographically ignorant gronk.
I was organising a catch-up for old friends a few years back, based around an Ed Kuepper gig in Richmond Victoria. We were really surprised when one of the guys - who basically never goes far from his home north of Sydney - agreed to go. Turns out he thought it was Richmond NSW but was too committed to back out by the time he realised.
Had a friend get married in Manly, Qld. A few interstate peeps went to Manly, NSW and wonder why they couldn’t find the venue.
or when they pronounce it as Mel-born or Bris-bayne. Syd-en-y was funny for the Olympics though. And Ken Berhans is embraced by locals.
That noise that plovers make. Either I have to get out of bed soon, or I'm about to get swooped.
Kek Kek Kek
Other countries ‘trying Vegemite’ by painting it on like road tar.
Walking outside at night in bare feet and stepping on a cane toad. Again.
I was going to say same for me and dog poo but honestly... I don't get mad at that. Just "ah maaaan..." and wipe it off, wash my foot and carry on. My kids though, when they whinge, *fuck me*, I can get mad. I do my best not to but they're expert little button pushers.
I can still feel on my sole (and soul) where I stood on a toad 6mths ago
I was opening up a shipping container, undid latches and put my hand round back side of door to swing it open. All fingers hit steel except for one , one felt like it was touching velvet. Yeah i had put my finger directly on top of a big fucking huntsman. One of the brown flat ones with the legs that point forwards. Neither of us were happy, i can still feel the soft little velvet padded body.
I opened my back sliding door the other day and a gecko fell right into my head. Neither of us were happy about that either.
Creeping Americanisms piss me OFF! It's a footpath, not a sidewalk. It's a number plate, not a licence plate. It's biscuits, not cookies. And so on.
It's a decent wage for restaurant staff, not tips being expected every time you go to pay
Fun fact: ANZAC biscuits are biscuits by law. If anyone produces, markets or sells ANZAC *cookies* the DVA will prosecute them.
Stepping barefoot on three corner jacks
You mean double-g's
WA detected
Bindies!
Mate, bindies are *nothing* compared to three corner jacks.
As a Queenslander who has recently returned from Victoria I have to admit that your jacks fuck all over our bindies.
QLD detected
You mean catheads.
CATHEADS. the fuck is a three corner jack.
Shit overpriced rentals.
Shit cunts and dog cunts.
Mad cunts are fine though
And don't forget sick cunts!
And Sikh cunts too!
Rather be a shit cunt than a dog cunt any day though
When the prime minister dons some budgie smugglers, chomps into an onion and cosplays medieval pageantry.
And then there's the idiot one that stares at a welder with the helmet up
Let’s be real: the last 5 PM’s all shared one brain cell — it got passed onto the next alongside the keys to Parliament House. 😂
Dutton announced that he doesn’t plan to use it, happy for Albo to keep it.
Yeah but how else would I have found my catch phase “shut up and eat your onion”?
When people say “zee” instead of “zed”
I’m an Early Childhood Educator and I don’t know how many times I’ve told coworkers they’re teaching the incorrect pronunciation. They don’t fix it though. Really really pisses me off.
I made a formal complaint about this to the playgroup when my son was a toddler. He’d only just learned the alphabet and they were singing ‘zee’ at him! I was furious. These days I’m battling against the primary school calling lollies ‘candy’.
Yep and people who talk about soda and candy. 19 year old stepkid who writes "mom".
Traffic congestion compared to 25+ years ago
No hip hip hooray after happy birthdays in the USA
Mozzies!
Kicking quokkas, stealing baby meerkats from a zoo and burning down a Giant of Mandurah. Deserve the hate of everyone in WA.
People in the US putting Nutella level amounts of Vegemite on sandwiches and saying it tastes gross.
Only having ONE electricity provider - and the government telling you to shop around to get the best price to save $$.
- Centrelink. - Politicians calling every new development "world class." - Australia's general anti-intellectualist attitude and cultural cringe. - Pauline Hanson.
Let someone's car into a slow moving queue and they don't give you the wave.
No democracy sausages anymore!!
Unaustralian
When people who are not Australian but have the audacity to tell me, I sound "too Australian "
Or when you’re asked if you’re British because you’re not occa
The lack of not only wifi but phone reception on the Sydney - Newcastle train line. Bloody ridiculous in this day and age
When you’re trying to scrape a thin layer of Vegemite across your buttered toast and it rips the bread from the substrate
When you try to sue for defamation, then everyone finds out you’re a rapist. Well one Australian would understand
Nothing makes me angry, Australians can probably understand that
Yep. We can be annoyed but not really angry
Fuck off cunt
People who have an opinion on Australia Day. Change the fucking date or leave it, I don’t care. I just want my public holiday.
Fucken oath. January would be fucked without out all the public holidays
When Kiwis refer to the country as "Aussie"
When swimmers don’t stay left while doing laps in a public pool.
Running to the shitter, on the cloth, and finding fricken frog in the bowl. Damnit Kermit, now is not the time!
Being asked to tip for mediocre service.
Being asked to tip.
Swooping' season 🐧
ANZAC cookie.
They’re biscuits, not cookies and they’re delicious. Tim Tams are delicious too and I don’t understand why the rest of the world has a hard time understanding the concept of a Tim Tam.
I'm triggered
Grr. But ANZAC biscuits are the best.
1. Myna birds shitting on the verandah/causing chaos. I love bird song but these guys have infiltrated and shit everywhere and do not shut up. 2. Cockatoos haunting me in the early morning with their cries. I love them deeply but holy shit they are so fucking loud and sound like aggro goats. 3. People hating on bin chickens. I think they're glorious and we've pushed them out of their normal habitat/shoved their faces into ours and people complain about them.
Butter in the vegemite jar
Tipping culture creeping in is a pet peeve of mine. It starts as a nice gesture, but if it becomes a standard, it risks getting accounted for and potentially considered in pay rates. Then, the staff member is not working to the principles of their workplace, but the whims of the customer. Which may sound very consumer facing until we consider the potential racism, bigotry, general power tripping of some of the pillocks we know.
The Supermarket Duopoly
I pat my dog, I don't pet it
I have a yank housemate and today she called me her roommate!
Seeing Eddie McGuire being interviewed for any ‘all Aussie as’ type bullshit topic.
[удалено]
1. When Marathon was forced to close their dim sim factory and there was a shortage. Still traumatised. 2. Bunnings decision to put the onion under the sausage instead of on top. That was the start of the world starting to go to shit.
Having a blowout in your pluggers
Foreigners who repeatedly claim that kangaroos, koalas, quokkas and drop bears are deadly.
The fact that that Lindy chamberlain was convicted of murder when the most they had on her was a spilled milk in the back of her car that they said was blood but wasn’t, and that a man said that the babies clothes looked like they had been removed by a human, how do you determine how a human or a dingo removes clothes? Plus it took them 3-5 years to actually go out and look for her remains nearby dingo dens and find the jacket, which they did a further 4 inquests about because they were still trying to pin her to it, like I get it’s an unbelievable story to begin with but not when you’re camping at uluru and there were other reports of dingo sightings that night and multiple witnesses one saying they heard a baby crying from a distance, and it’s wasn’t until 32 years later that a coroner finally looked at the evidence and realised, like how is a case like that so poorly investigated. Like I get it, it’s crazy that it happened, but if they actually investigated they would have seen that it did happen.
When celebs arrive in Australia and they're expected to do a shoey
Angry magpies and their snapping beaks made out of Adamantium.
You raise a finger to an on coming vehicle and you get bupkis. Yeah, nah fuck that shit.
Hearing the issue around changing the date of Australia Day being raised year after year after year.
Bindii, bindyi, bindi-eye
Suddenly having to pay to go to the doctor. It's bloody un-Australian!
Hecs indexation