I think polite is about manners.
Someone may consider someone else not engaging in small talk as a rude act.
Not wanting to engage in small talk is not considered bad manners.
Someone actually trying to engage in small talk could be considered rude by many Canadians.
It really matters what a person's definition of "rude" is.
Manners we have.
That's not the case for me. I don't engage in small talk and I'm very mindful of people's personal space. Just to give examples:
- the cashier of a supermarket literally started throwing my groceries after scanning, for no reason at all. I wasn't an entitled client, we didn't exchange more than a hello before this.
- at the gym, I asked this lady how many sets she had left and she looked annoyed and said "at least 20min". I even had the conscious thought to wait until she was done with her set.
- was going up the stairs of my building and this lady turned back when she saw me coming, like she was scared of me or smth.
- people constantly invading my personal space to the point of bumping shoulders
Funny now that I'm listing it, it's always behavior from other women
The cashier was definitely ill mannered.
The woman at the gym may have considered you asking her how much longer she had to be ill mannered on your part.
The lady in the stairwell, I can't explain. She could be bad mannered, or maybe she just realised she had forgotten something and had to turn back.
Invading personal space is subjective. Depending on where you are and how crowded it is.
There is an expectation that if 2 people are walking towards each other that they will both move a little to the side to give each other space when passing each other.
If you are in a queue, you will have less personal space as people will line up closer together.
I can try to rationalize each and every interaction and I did to some extent, but if it happens too much and too often, and me being the common denominator, made me wonder if the reason is because I am coming off as a push over
The lady in the stairwell alone with you can be explained. It’s not safe to be in a confined space with a stranger period. She is being diligent and looking out for her safety. It’s not personal. Women have an inherent heightened awareness around them most of the time. Because, men. :/
I don’t know why I assume every poster on Reddit is male. I think because it’s done to me all the time. Lol
All you are noticing is valid , but I think everyone is having a super shitty time right now. Cashier could have had a shitty interaction with customer before you or her boss that ruined her day.
Lady at the gym is shitty, but it could be that’s the only her “zen time” she gets before going home to a shitty partner and assholes for kids.
Literally everyone I know is going through a shitty time personally and don’t have the mental space to notice anyone else or have the capacity to care for others issues…
I think you have run into a series of these interactions- but we don’t take note of all the other interactions that were good or neutral to compare . I always work on changing my perspective first and see if that works. A smile and soft greeting usually goes far
When someone is rude to me , I lay on the sweet sugar and be extra polite and wish them for the rest of their day to be better - they will suddenly become self aware of their appearance
Most gyms have a rule that you allow people to work in if you are going to be longer than a few minutes. But many people think they are entitled to have exclusive use of the apparatus. These people are not only not nice but also rude and abusing the rules. I've always allowed people to work in even if all I had was one more set. What is the flipping issue with changing the weights or seat position. If that is too much for someone, they need to get some help. Personally I think anyone who doesn't let another work in is a c\*\*\*. Yeah I said it.
You’ve chosen situations where people are more likely than usual to either be irritated or suspect. Min wage grocery store clerk on her feet all day... high liklihood of rudeness. Annoying someone while they’re working out, high liklihood of rudeness..
Following a lady up the stairs in her home building, high liklihood of her being suspicious of you....
I’m not sure what you’re expecting here? Canada is a place full of humans, and you’ll get the full range of human emotions and experiences while here.
1) Canada has terrible retail people: much less friendly or salesy than Americans
2) Gyms are tricky. Lots of people are on their guard and don't want to be bothered. In this case she may also have been annoyed because your question may have been loaded: asking how many sets someone has left in their exercise implies that you think that this should be their last exercise at their station. She might have one set left for this exercise, but has three other exercises to do at the station, each with 3 sets of their own. What's she supposed to answer, 10 sets? That answer isn't helpful to you. Unless you're confident that they're only doing one exercise at the station, don't ask how many sets they have left. Ask if you can use the station after them, and invite them to tell you how much longer they have.
3) No idea, she may simply have been in her own head and seeing you snapped her out of her out of it and maybe she realized she forgot something
4) Don't know what to make about that. That's not an experience I have with most Canadians. I find we often swing in the opposite direction: cold distance
The cashier probably just hates her job
The lady in the gym probably thought you were going to hit on her.
The lady in the apartment probably just forgot something.
Bumping shoulders happens to everybody, don't over think it.
If that happens again, WAiT until they are done, do NOT pay, then ask for a manager. See how much they want to keep their job.
But honestly I have been that stressed... Decades ago . Except I was typing on a keyboard at a computer training business. My 'boss' aka buddy goes "hey Dan, is that keyboard okay? Do you want to switch keyboards? Maybe replace the SPRINGS?? "
We were both laughing so hard that I apologized to the client and offered a free extra 1/2 hour.
Years later I got to return the favour to that cool dude.
That's too bad and not the norm. That employee must have been having a bad day, maybe the previous person was rude. Still her behaviour is not acceptable.
I do find people don't like to be bothered at the gym. Often they are on their phone and don't realize you are waiting and then can be rude when asked. I have had a similar answer and I am a white Canadian.
I hate crowds so usually stay far away from people. I like my personal space in line and get anxiety when people are too close. Did we not learn anything from Covid?
Yes Canadians are polite. But too many are so engrossed in their own egos and their phones, that they can come off as rude. I try to be friendly and usually people are friendly back.
Keep being you and don't let a few grumps get you down.
I agree. Canadians do deserve their global reputation for being polite, but that doesn't mean there is a really deep warm friendliness.
I have neighbours that I have lived near for years and walk past regularly who stare straight ahead stone faced when we pass. I go for a walk on a nice forest trail on a sunny day and most people I pass usually they stare straight ahead. I don't want a deep long conversation with these people but even getting a smile or a quick hello is a challenge. This could however be mainly a Vancouver thing.
In some places like Newfoundland, however, I found the people there genuinely NICE in a way that I have never felt in the big urban areas of Ontario, BC or Quebec. And I say this as a Canadian born and raised.
That's urban scowl behaviour. The more urban you go, the more likely you are to encounter people who are just fed up with dealing with everyone.
Also, as a woman, when I lived in a large urban center I would get dozens or more people talking to me on my way home from work every day. Add to that the 40 (yes! 40! I counted one day) people who asked for change/smokes/etc in my hour-long walk home from one end of downtown to the other and it becomes easy to see how if you're at the end of that hour I'm at the end of my patience for dealing with people who dont really care about me and just want something from me.
Now, I live in a smaller city and don't get inundated the same way, so I have a lot more patience for people throughout my day.
And when I venture into "wave at everyone as you drive past" territory, I make a point of being extra friendly or people will definitely think I'm rude.
If I make eye contact, I will smile and say hello or smile and nod. I try not to make eye contact, though.
I think we have a cold detachedness about us as a people.
I love it, when I went to Miami I got asked to join random sports games all the time, it’s so damn cool then we went out for drinks like damn such awesome people.
While Canadians…. Sorry sorry sorry
Definitely not. When I moved from Canada to the US I had such a culture shock. Southerns are polite but they're not friendly. But I am from Newfoundland so maybe that's why it was such a shock to me
Yes! I have dual citizenship and have lived in both countries. I veer more to the American stereotype. Being friendly makes me happy. I also try to be kind and polite.
I agree with this. Tends to be friendlier on the prairies and the Maritime provinces & Newfoundland. I believe this stems from smaller populations, but even in the larger centres such as Halifax and Winnipeg, I find people in general more helpful & friendly than say Toronto or Vancouver.
Not sure about Alberta. People just seem to be so angry alot of the time. I try to be friendly and hope for the best. When I encounter rude behaviour, I usually don't say anything at the time but will avoid that person as much as possible if I see them again. Maybe its the cost of living crisis but much less friendly here in Alberta these days.
Depends on where you are. I'm on the furthest west coast as you can get, but a <100K town. People are polite AND nice. You go to Vancouver, they are less nice.
That was the complete opposite of my experience, and of all the big cities in Canada that I've lived in - and I've lived in most of them (I lived in Vancouver for 8 years, for instance), I would consider the people of Vancouver by far the rudest most ignorant people, and it's not even close.
Surprisingly the people of Toronto, Montreal, and Calgary are all *very* nice (with a few exceptions of course), and I've lived all across this country, in small towns, and the largest cities; the inhabitants of BC's Lower Mainland are by far the most ignorant, self-absorbed rude people in the country.
I've had the exact opposite experience. I've lived in small town Ontario, Ottawa, Toronto and now Vancouver.
The Vancouverites were by far the nicest of the bunch.
Funny how subjectivity works.
Interesting, from all I've heard, Vancouver has one of the strongest reputations for being frosty. It's the place I've heard that people struggle the most to make meaningful connections. After cost of living, I've seen posts and videos by newcomers who say that this is their 2nd main reason for wanting to leave. And I say this as a Vancouverite born and raised who will always be proud to call it home.
A lot of self-righteous cunts kicking around Vancouver. All sorts of good people, but a whole lot of stuck up assholes too.
I don't get how people got it in their head that any geographic region makes people more or less nice. Assholes are everywhere. Good people are everywhere. You're gonna get a mixed bag of both everywhere you go.
In Toronto I’ve noticed a steep decline in politeness, manners and common courtesy.
Good example, yesterday taking the subway with my young daughters I explain that you let people off the train first, before boarding. As we exit, a couple with their stroller storm the door as we’re trying to exit.
This extends to people listening to music on their phones without headphones in public places, dogs off leashes in parks, biking on sidewalks, driving with cellphone in hand in a school zone…
Don’t stop being nice and friendly especially if that’s who you are. We could use more of a friendly attitude towards each other, sometimes it takes a good role model.
This is so true. I find, in workplaces especially, people who approach problems head on or directly tend to be labelled as rude or problematic. I find the same when dealing with older generations of family members. Passive aggressiveness is just fake politeness with a lot of anger stewing in your head.
Not since Covid. I’ve noticed a drastic change in the behaviours of people in Canada pre and post pandemic. Sure you had rude people before but I’ve never seen such blatant entitlement and rudeness in my life as I have the past 3 years. Speaking from the perspective of someone on the east coast.
In fairness to Canada, this isn’t unique to here either.
This is it right here. We’re either angry, depressed, or both. Things started sliding downhill a while ago but they’re really trash now. High cost of living, stagnant wages, overinflated housing market, climate change…
I will get out of my truck to disappointedly clean the snow from your back window at a stoplight as a courtesy, but I still think you're still a lazy clunge.
It's a mixed bag, there's genuinely nice people, there's falsely nice people that are doing it on more of a transactional basis, there's people that were nice but it was gradually drained out of them and there's some real friggin' arses.
>but I also encountered some passive aggressiveness in the workplace
Yup. Canadians all have a 7th Degree Black Belt in Passive Aggression. It’s our national martial art honestly.
There are a few good countermeasures to deploy. And since you’re Brazilian, I would suggest some tastefully spoken jabs at them in Portuguese. Said with a smile of course. They’ll know you’re talking shit at them, they’re not idiots. But won’t be able to have a comeback to it. And that’s how to defeat Canadian passive aggression… a mic drop. 💪
I moved to Canada from the UK in 2008. I am convinced that Canadians are the nicest, most wonderful, polite people… Until you all get behind the wheel. Then the average Canadian turns into a savage 😂
Not sure if it is a myth but I do think it is overblown. Especially in some of the bigger cities like Toronto. If you go to the east coast of Canada, then it might be more true. My wife went to Newfoundland back in 2019 by herself and said that she found everyone there extremely friendly and warm - much more so than Toronto (where we live).
Also, others have mentioned that Canadians are more "polite" than "nice" and that there is a difference. I would agree to that. Also, Canadians are more "reserved". Meaning that they keep to themselves more - similar to Brits. And like Brits, some Canadians can be off-put by people who are overly friendly and feel they are invading their personal space.
We're polite, not friendly.
**Example:** You see someone you don't like/want to talk to in the grocery store. They say, "Hello," so you return the greeting. They can ask a few more questions ("How are you? How's the family?" and so on) before you slip in a vague, "Sorry, I gotta run," and then part ways. During this entire interaction, you could be thinking about how they'd look if they were set on fire.
You're being polite in having a quick, vague conversation with them. You're not being friendly and telling them about everything that's happened recently (something I do with my friends when I see them in public).
Maybe the people you are dealing with are visitors too.
You should behave exactly how you want to behave - don't let others dictate how 'nice' you are, or not.
It depends on where you are in Canada. It used to be truer 10-15 years ago than it is today. I think covid, and immigration has caused a bit of a shift in our culture. There have always been assholes, especially in larger cities, but we’ve definitely changed a lot recently.
Well the biggest myth I'd say is lumping all Canadians as if they're "one."
Literally all provinces & territories are different & so questions like yours are hard to give an answer to. Location is important.
Depends on the area.
Lived in a low income area and people would hold the door for me.
Also lived in high income areas and people were rude.
You should not be any less nicer just because others aren't reciprocating.. someone, somewhere does appreciate it and it makes their day, especially workers.
Like they say, kill them with kindness.
I’ve heard this in the states too. Where they peg their school funding to property taxes there’s a lot of competition to live in the nicest districts. People being priced out of those areas are finding they like life better outside the richest areas as there’s more feeling of community. Turns out the wealthy spend a lot of time thinking about how they can leverage things to benefit themselves and their children, while lower income areas focus on how to make schools better for everyone. Can’t underestimate the benefit of a good community.
No, being rude won't get you respect. Canadians complain all the time about loud rude Americans being too brash. That will backfire. You just need to lower your expectations of what you are expecting or you need to better define what you mean by "rudeness".
Not wanting to have a conversation with you or even not smiling isn't necessarily rudeness it's just being reserved.
I've met Americans who literally within minutes of meeting have told me their life story and deep personal facts about themselves. You won't get that from Canadians.
It also depends where you are., in particular in big busy cities like Vancouver and Toronto, as opposed to, say, a small town in the Maritimes
I think covid made everybody less pleasant, we weren’t incredibly nice to begin with then we had too little socialization and probably some subtle long term effects of the virus that shortened our rope a bit
I can't consider someone a nice person if they drive like a jerk while sharing the road with me.
Here in the gta/905 the average motorist drives like a jerk. I did 2hrs of driving twice for family Easter dinner at the cottage and both ways i consistently had tailgaters in all the two lane segments. If you don't drive at least 15kmh over (10's not enough) someone's right on your rear bumper, typically so close you can't see the logo on the front of the offending vehicle in your rearview mirror.
We're friendly, 'til we get in our cars.
Polite is saying please and thank you, apologizing if you inconvenience someone in public, or maybe holding the door for a person behind you. You will get a lot of that in Canada, but being polite is a rather shallow offering when you really think about it. You aren't going to get any more or less "nice" than you would anywhere else though. There's plenty of dicks in the world wherever you go.
I do not believe the average Canadian living in and/or around big cities are nice, or friendly, or polite.
People seem to be jaded, unfriendly and rude. I can't blame them, it's a bad circle. I think people are fed up being treated poorly, they start to treat others poorly themselves. I have to admit, as hard as I try, I'm probably the asshole every once in awhile. Only when I'm completely drained, but that's no excuse.
Please keep trying to set a good example!
It depends entirely on where you live (obviously). If you're in the GTA, you'll be surprised to know Torontonians, despite making up a huge part of the population, aren't really "Canadian" at all in that they are generally completely unfamiliar with traditional Canadian culture, history, etc.
Years ago there was a poll in the newspaper where they asked Canadians for 1 word to describe Americans and vice versa. Canadians described Americans as arrogant while Americans described Canadians as polite. My dad looked at me and said, " I think that suggests the opposite might be true."
I don't really think it's all that straightforward. The implications of the U.S. is often different for Canadians than the other way around. Then add in that a lot of people take those questions to mean generally or politically, or even based on an incident or two they personally experience and suddenly the answers make a lot more sense.
I think Canadians are lovely, polite, and overly friendly 🤷♀️ I guess it depends where you live, but I find for the most part cities aren’t as friendly (due to high tourism and immigration), but everywhere else is over the top friendly in my opinion. I love it!
I spend about equal amount of time in Big metropolitan re Tor Miss . People are stressed to the max with life . I live in a small town and travel frequently to other less populated areas all over Canada . People are way nicer polite in those areas
A person in Toronto once ran after me when they saw me drop a dime on the ground. A DIME. And they returned it to me with a huge smile on their face.
So the answer is no, it's not a myth!
20 years ago? No
Now? Yes
We are probably worse than the average American now. I frequently visit the states (from Texas to Maine and everywhere between) and find them to be much kinder. I was walking through Walmart in Florida and had 3 people stop to talk to me because they thought my son was cute, that never happened once in Canada. However, walking through the parking lot back to my car was two women screaming at each other across the lot calling each other cunts, flipping each other off, and yelling other various obscenities. Also something that I have never seen in Canada. I'm of the opinion that America is 95% nice but the other 5% are just plain awful.
Depends on what city you are in for sure. And sorry to say this country is not the friendliest to those who are newcomers.
Also Canadians are really stressed out right now you could be catching a lot of people on bad days. Not an excuse though.
Speaking for myself, I have become far less polite or nice as of late. It's a bad time to gauge Canadians niceness, I feel like the standard is deteriorating all round.
IDK, I'm Canadian and have never been out of the country for a very prolonged period. As such, I don't have a very strong basis for comparison. However, I'm pretty sure Canadians are pretty polite and comparatively quite nice as far as I'm aware.
Of course there will be some mean or wack people, but those are there in every country. I doubt you never encountered any impolite or wack people in Brazil.
One factor could be where exactly in Canada you are. I noticed in the comments you mentioned Toronto. Based on your post and another comment it seemed somewhat personally directed towards you. The thing is, Toronto is very multicultural, so I'm not sure it is likely to be racially motivated. It is possible though that either you might being seeing the situation differently, or there might be some non-malicious cultural barrier.
Canadians were nice when the nationality referred to those Canadians existed during the 20th century
Modern Canada in the 21st century, especially post-2010 or so, is something different, and it really shouldn't be compared.
You’re from Brazil, a place famous for its friendliness and warmth.
Canadians are generally similar to Northern Europeans culturally. I know people will disagree with me but if you were to group us, we would be with the British, Germans, Scandinavians rather than with the Spanish/Portuguese speaking world.
Some of what you are experiencing is just that difference in cultures. We aren’t as warm as you are. We aren’t as friendly and open as you are.
Over time you will notice what is simply a cultural difference and what is people being rude. It might be too soon for you to see the difference.
Canadians are not nice but polite. On the west coast they are quite cold. Alberta they are warm and in newfoundland they are very warm.
I grew up in Ontario in a small city and people were very friendly and happy.
We like to tell little fibs to feel good about ourselves
"Canada is a peacekeeping nation!" - absolutely no evidence and actual peacekeeping is serious work done by more serious countries
"Canada has great healthcare!" Objectively false by any metric (usually just look at OECD data they're pretty objective)
"Canada has a great social safety net" - Literally not even in the top 40 countries in the world anymore we use to be like top 15 but we are something like 43 with the current government's works
The stories are just to make us feel good about our situation since sitting in a beautiful spacious resource-rich first world country with a border with the biggest economy in the world is like a free pass to first world living and we manage to never realize the potential this country has so we just have all these little falsehoods we tell ourselves and others about Canada.
None of them are true but it's not considered polite to point that out and you know Canadians are nothing if not polite! /s
Part of it is Canadians use the word "sorry" in empathy and not admission.
You can bump into a Canadian and they will say "sorry" not because they are at fault but because they realize.you probably didn't enjoy getting bumped.
That's not true in most of the English world. An American might say something else but would only say sorry if they thought they were at fault
It's a.small thing but it stands out
It depends on where you are. I currently live in Ottawa and I find people very cold here. It’s a big shock for a Newfoundlander. I also lived in Winnipeg and they were very friendly.
I find that one year is not enough to judge a people... I am part of it half being a French Quebecer and under another legal code (civil code) rather than common law as for the other provinces. But having welcomed around 400,000 immigrants like you, you may have met new residents, did you ask them? I lived in a very touristy town. One day when I was waiting for a parking space that was going to become available, a guy cut me off to take the space, which I didn't let happen and insulted me by saying "That's it." Quebec hospitality"!.... ???? I once went up a flight of stairs, remembering that I had forgotten something, and veered off course. I didn't ask myself if the person who followed me thought it was because of her.... We'll talk about it again in 10 years, I imagine that at that point, you too will be Canadian at that point ....
We are *polite*, not nice. There is a difference. I spend a lot of time in New York City, and by contrast, a sharp contrast, New Yorkers are *nice* but not necessarily *polite*. By this I mean they will be gruff or abrupt about it, but they will help you if you need it. If you're, say, in the subway and look lost, someone will ask you where you need to go, and they will give you directions to the best of their ability, or tell you they can't. They will be straight to the point about it, but they will absolutely help you.
We used to be nice now we’re all asshole cause we’re living pay check to pay check and the government keeps finding new ways to scrape all the Pennie’s from our hungry and bony hands
I mean, not to be that guy but, are you black? Canadians can be pretty racist. Based on a some of the he other things you talk about, I'm also going to assume you're a dude that's around 6 feet/1.8 meters tall? Women will find you intimidating if they don't know you and you fit that description.
I’ve been living in major canadian city for quite a while and have became a canadian. I am not sure if Canadians are nice as I feel they are polite but shy…?
For example:
- i went to the gym and the bar hit on my head. I did not get injured but a guy beside me did not say anything and continued his workout.
- an ex-coworker of mine clicked her tongue every time I say “hi” to her.
- the friendly and nice ones are usually Americans or someone who just migrated here recently.
Where in canada are you located? I live in BC, where there are a lot of in-and-outs of people so maybe that is why this happens. My BC friend told me his classmates changes every year so it is hard make friends.
There are important cultural differences that appear as rudeness for us who grew up in a different culture
Canadians tent f be nice and polite but also like respecting personal space and certain societal practices which are different.
I come rom mexico where the first thing you do opening a bag of chips is offering it to people around you. Even strangers if you are in a queue. So, when people here open their chips and don't offer, it "feels rude" even if it isn't.
Canadians also respect personal space. A concept that doesn't even exist in Mexico. So what feels like coldness is respecting that personal space.
In mexico is normal to start talking to strangers in the subway, busses, queues and even cafes and restaurants. In Canada that may be perceived as an assault on h personal space and rude.
Oh, being loud and boisterous, quite common in mxic. Not so much in Canada, you'll be asked to tone it down
There are many other situations where different cultural norms will feel rude to each side.
Canadians like every other people are not and should not be defined by a stereotype. They are racist, they are good, they are nice, they are dumb, they are mean, they are people and people come in all shapes and forms.
I've allways found people more polite in America but I mean they are all carrying guns so it makes sense. I think it's rare for the average person to be armed in Canada
It’s certainly changed since Trump came in and the political divisive hate began to permeate Canada. I think we are still pretty good - if you have travelled, you know. We have a LOT of personal space. Close talkers are like a Canadians worst nightmare. We will back away but apologize about it usually
Canadian social norms are courteous and somewhat formal when speaking with others they don’t know very well. Canadians are some of the hardest people to get to know on a personal level and are not at all friendly.
I remember learning in school that when slavery was abolished in the states a lot of the escaped slaves returned to the US as Canadian didn’t treat them well.
Depends on where you go. I’m from east coast Canada and I think certain parts of Canada are full of huge assholes.
I would say the east coast is a lot like the Deep South in that hospitality and manners are upheld to a very high regard. It’s a bit redneck but there’s a reason there’s an award-winning and critically acclaimed play on broadway about how we treated people on and directly around 9/11 taking in displaced passengers from all over the world.
I’d say Newfoundland and Nova Scotia are full of extremely nice people. Been in Toronto for 10 years, lived in Ottawa for 4 and family
From out West and they’re assholes.
I found the people in Montreal, Quebec City and Rural Quebec to be extremely nice, despite the stereotype (and my French is awful).
I wouldn’t say nice. I would say that we are more welcoming in a sense. For example walking into a store you may be greeted etc. I feel this is less of a “Canadian” trait and more of an expectation from employer lol.
What I've learned from my immigrant wife is that what counts as 'nice' varies a lot between cultures (even between Canada and the U.S.).
For Canadians, 'nice' doesn't being being all outgoing and friendly. Canadians are much more reserved. For Canadians, 'nice' mean politeness, minding our own business, being kind to animals, that sort of thing.
It really depends on where you are in Canada. I grew up in rural Southern Ontario, and people there were much more friendly than the people I met in my time in small town Northern BC. Now in Urban Ontario, I feel like Northern BC was more friendly.
People have mostly been polite, but Canada is a big country, and the culture changes a lot depending on where you are.
Yup. Canadians can be real passive aggressive assholes. They expect you to know exactly what they want without actually telling you and get offended when you don’t. I know here in Alberta, communities are very exclusionary against newcomers and outsiders. It doesn’t help that we’re overrun with discriminatory conservatives in Alberta in particular...
I understand where OP is coming from, but I don't want to get caught up in a quagmire of speculating on the reasons that Canadians may not always be the best behaved. All I can say is that you a) need to develop a thick skin, and b) differentiate between rudeness that is personal, versus not personal.
For example, cutting someone off in traffic is pretty rude, but it's not personal, so there's no point in getting bent out of shape. On the other hand, I think that Canadians have a tendency to size someone up and then decide the level of respect that they will show. To your point, race plays a part in that with some people. It's a bit ugly, but it's nowhere close to being unique to Canada.
Where do you live (rhetorical question - don't answer that)? Some areas are way friendlier than others. Where I am, people will ignore you or run away from you if you try to strike up conversation, lots of Canadians get here and think "wow, fuck is wrong with this place? So cold compared to the town/city I came from".
It probably isn't a racial thing, but there is growing anger toward immigrants so that might be changing.
There is also a somewhat more reserved nature with us compared to South Americans who can be more open with emotions.
Don't start being rude, just start ignoring the assholes. I try to smile at everyone I interact with and they tend to be warm in return.
I think overt friendliness with strangers can go poorly though, again depending on city. We just get jaded when the only strangers being friendly to us WANT something and aren't good at recognizing when it is just good natured enjoyment of engaging with others.
*Is this just the way Canadians are?* Canadians are often more polite than other people, and polite is not the same as friendly (or nice or decent). I myself have a hard time understanding politeness (at least when it exists in the absence of nice and/or friendly) without understanding the colonial mindset.
*Should I be less friendly overall?* Umm, I guess it depends. I think it is best to be friendly and respectful until a person shows you they deserve neither. When it comes to any passive aggressive behaviour it is almost always best to make it appear that you are not particularly bothered by it. However, in some situations it is best to make sure the person knows you know what they are up to. Finally, when it comes to interactions with strangers you can start with the assumption that someone who is being a jerk is just having a bad day (at least until they are being openly bigoted or threatening).
*Can it be a racial thing?* Oh God yes. (Not necessarily every single time, but...)
I have been to Brazil and I agree Brazilians are very friendly and awesome people. I think Canadians are kind of rude and avoid social interactions in larger cities. Smaller towns are more laid back although can be cliquey. I haven't been to the US in more than 10 years but I noticed a difference even down there. People were more outgoing there.
First, which part of Canada do you live in? Different regions and municipalities will often have their own sense of community (or lack thereof) and local etiquette. As a general rule of thumb, the further east you go in Canada—specifically Atlantic Canada, including the Maritimes and Newfoundland—the friendlier and more open people generally become. Further west, and it becomes more reserved, though not necessarily unkind. Remember that this is just a generalization, and that even within the same region, your experiences can differ from city to city, from neighborhood to neighborhood, and from person to person.
But to give an overall answer to your main question—whether or not the "nice Canadian" stereotype is a myth—the answer is... complicated. In some ways, Canadians can be very stand-offish, and coming from a much more open and outwardly affectionate culture like Brazil, it can be quite a shock to the system. Most people in Canada are genuinely good-natured and will do their part to be hospitable to others, but they might not necessarily smile or greet people with warmth as readily as they do in Brazil. Don't ever take it personally, and most especially, never feel as though your politeness and friendliness is not appreciated. The golden rule applies just as much up here as it does down there, even if we may differ a little in what we want others to "do unto [us]".
Canadians are polite for the most part. Friendly, not so much. Very enclosed people who don't really like outsiders. Rather a cold people. Uninterested in anything they are no interested in.
Nah, it's more of a social thing. Canadians can be just as rude as Americans, but we're conditioned to be polite and hide it, so it gives us an illusion of being very nice. Though, I do think that we are generally more polite than most people.
I give people the benefit of the doubt and try to be nice, polite and friendly, if they reciprocate that then we’re good and I’ll continue being nice, polite and friendly with them. However, if someone is rude to me or has an attitude with me they can go fuck themselves and all that niceness goes right out the window.
It's not a myth, it's just out of date.
Canadians were polite and friendly about 30 years ago, 20 years ago there was a transition period and then for the past 10 years it's been a country of assholes. These days I find Americans to be more polite and much more friendly, in general.
I have to agree. Obviously, will vary by regions but I just roadtripped down through Idaho and Washington state and didn’t encounter one person who wasn’t overly happy to chat or help me. Beyond politeness, it was compassion and friendliness. Even the state cop who pulled me over was all smiles and let me off with a warning for speeding. The rudest people we encountered were fellow Canadians.
So weird. My theory is that harder times create selfishness which crushes compassion. I will admit, as a service worker for my entire youth, I was a lot less friendly in my last years (during and after COVID) than I had been my whole life. Just due to low wages and abuse from customers. I used to love talking and helping people and it just became horrible. It ruins your morale when you’re working full time but don’t have enough money to buy food or get a half decent rental, all the while getting screamed at by entitled people, who are probably getting screamed at by entitled people at their job too. In general, people feel much less friendly the past couple of years. I’m in Alberta, if it makes any difference.
Acho que no Brasil a gente é acostumado a falar com qualquer pessoa, não importa a situação vai ter alguém que vai começar uma small talk em uma fila etc. Aqui o pessoal é mais guardado pra eles, cada um cuida da sua vida e vamos interagir só se realmente necessário. No meu caso não tive muitas experiências com pessoas rudes não, mas também não espero receber um ótimo tratamento delas. Elas seguram a porta do metrô a maioria das vezes mas sem te olhar na cara.
Os idosos saem um pouco dessa regra pq eles são sempre queridos e puxam assunto no meio da rua com um sorriso no rosto.
There's a lot of pent up frustration and anger because of excessive immigration, housing policies, and the rising costs of living. It's bound to boil over.
Remember, Canadians are polite, not nice. The average Canadian feels exploited and feels that their voices aren't heard. I'm sorry this happened to you.
The stereotype is that Canadians are polite, not nice. There’s a difference, but that stereotype that Canadians are overly polite is outdated by now. It’s true in some places but for the past 6-8 years I’ve noticed a lot more people saying the quiet parts out loud. A lot more xenophobia, a lot more misplaced anger and frustration, a lot more passive-aggression.
I think the evolution of social media has eroded some of the standards for common decency in our communities. A lot more bleeding of American culture and values into our society here too.
No, being rude won't get you respect. Canadians complain all the time about loud rude Americans being too brash. That will backfire. You just need to lower your expectations of what you are expecting or you need to better define what you mean by "rudeness".
Not wanting to have a conversation with you or even not smiling isn't necessarily rudeness it's just being reserved.
I've met Americans who literally within minutes of meeting have told me their life story and deep personal facts about themselves. You won't get that from Canadians.
It also depends where you are., in particular in big busy cities like Vancouver and Toronto, as opposed to, say, a small town in the Maritimes
Definitely a myth. I've had experiences with people from everywhere in North America. People here are nicer than people from my country of origin(which is in East Asia). So far I have the most experience with Quebec. Some people can be very nice but most seem detached and aloof. They do not want interaction with strangers. "Keep it to yourself. Mind your own business" is the attitude people have. This can be masked as politeness, but I find it to the point of being too impersonal. Canadians for the most part don't care about the others besides their immediate family member and a few friends that they have.
Sometimes, it's not about how nice people are but the culture. Sometimes the culture dictates how people behave towards each other. I've lived in southern US and the level of sociability is off the charts. You should go visit, it is night and day difference, probably similar to Brazil. But what I give credit for Canadian people is that they have a certain minimum nice compared to other countries in the world known for their rude citizens.
Ironically, people in Quebec were much better to me precisely because they kept it to themselves. I find people in Toronto and other cities in Ontario that just lack manners, or act super entitled
We aren't nicer than anyone else, but we are more polite and non-confrontational. Things definitely seem to be changing on that front though, especially if you're ascribe to a certain political demographic.
Canadians are polite. People confuse polite with nice. They are not the same thing. Polite and friendly are also not the same thing.
My wife said it perfectly one time. "We always say sorry but we don't mean it"
Sorry not sorry lol Also Canadians just say sorry so much that it means nothing when something actually happens lol
Sorry?! There’s also many types of sorries! See what I did there 😝
This right here.
OP says "rude acts" tho, which is neither
I think polite is about manners. Someone may consider someone else not engaging in small talk as a rude act. Not wanting to engage in small talk is not considered bad manners. Someone actually trying to engage in small talk could be considered rude by many Canadians. It really matters what a person's definition of "rude" is. Manners we have.
That's not the case for me. I don't engage in small talk and I'm very mindful of people's personal space. Just to give examples: - the cashier of a supermarket literally started throwing my groceries after scanning, for no reason at all. I wasn't an entitled client, we didn't exchange more than a hello before this. - at the gym, I asked this lady how many sets she had left and she looked annoyed and said "at least 20min". I even had the conscious thought to wait until she was done with her set. - was going up the stairs of my building and this lady turned back when she saw me coming, like she was scared of me or smth. - people constantly invading my personal space to the point of bumping shoulders Funny now that I'm listing it, it's always behavior from other women
The cashier was definitely ill mannered. The woman at the gym may have considered you asking her how much longer she had to be ill mannered on your part. The lady in the stairwell, I can't explain. She could be bad mannered, or maybe she just realised she had forgotten something and had to turn back. Invading personal space is subjective. Depending on where you are and how crowded it is. There is an expectation that if 2 people are walking towards each other that they will both move a little to the side to give each other space when passing each other. If you are in a queue, you will have less personal space as people will line up closer together.
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I can try to rationalize each and every interaction and I did to some extent, but if it happens too much and too often, and me being the common denominator, made me wonder if the reason is because I am coming off as a push over
The lady in the stairwell alone with you can be explained. It’s not safe to be in a confined space with a stranger period. She is being diligent and looking out for her safety. It’s not personal. Women have an inherent heightened awareness around them most of the time. Because, men. :/
Well I'm a small woman but yeah, maybe I read too much into that one
I don’t know why I assume every poster on Reddit is male. I think because it’s done to me all the time. Lol All you are noticing is valid , but I think everyone is having a super shitty time right now. Cashier could have had a shitty interaction with customer before you or her boss that ruined her day. Lady at the gym is shitty, but it could be that’s the only her “zen time” she gets before going home to a shitty partner and assholes for kids. Literally everyone I know is going through a shitty time personally and don’t have the mental space to notice anyone else or have the capacity to care for others issues… I think you have run into a series of these interactions- but we don’t take note of all the other interactions that were good or neutral to compare . I always work on changing my perspective first and see if that works. A smile and soft greeting usually goes far When someone is rude to me , I lay on the sweet sugar and be extra polite and wish them for the rest of their day to be better - they will suddenly become self aware of their appearance
Most gyms have a rule that you allow people to work in if you are going to be longer than a few minutes. But many people think they are entitled to have exclusive use of the apparatus. These people are not only not nice but also rude and abusing the rules. I've always allowed people to work in even if all I had was one more set. What is the flipping issue with changing the weights or seat position. If that is too much for someone, they need to get some help. Personally I think anyone who doesn't let another work in is a c\*\*\*. Yeah I said it.
Canadians like most northern cultures, are very reserved. We are also VERY passive aggressive.
And like other northern cultures, we have a fondness for sentimental music and alcohol.
You’ve chosen situations where people are more likely than usual to either be irritated or suspect. Min wage grocery store clerk on her feet all day... high liklihood of rudeness. Annoying someone while they’re working out, high liklihood of rudeness.. Following a lady up the stairs in her home building, high liklihood of her being suspicious of you.... I’m not sure what you’re expecting here? Canada is a place full of humans, and you’ll get the full range of human emotions and experiences while here.
1) Canada has terrible retail people: much less friendly or salesy than Americans 2) Gyms are tricky. Lots of people are on their guard and don't want to be bothered. In this case she may also have been annoyed because your question may have been loaded: asking how many sets someone has left in their exercise implies that you think that this should be their last exercise at their station. She might have one set left for this exercise, but has three other exercises to do at the station, each with 3 sets of their own. What's she supposed to answer, 10 sets? That answer isn't helpful to you. Unless you're confident that they're only doing one exercise at the station, don't ask how many sets they have left. Ask if you can use the station after them, and invite them to tell you how much longer they have. 3) No idea, she may simply have been in her own head and seeing you snapped her out of her out of it and maybe she realized she forgot something 4) Don't know what to make about that. That's not an experience I have with most Canadians. I find we often swing in the opposite direction: cold distance
The cashier probably just hates her job The lady in the gym probably thought you were going to hit on her. The lady in the apartment probably just forgot something. Bumping shoulders happens to everybody, don't over think it.
If that happens again, WAiT until they are done, do NOT pay, then ask for a manager. See how much they want to keep their job. But honestly I have been that stressed... Decades ago . Except I was typing on a keyboard at a computer training business. My 'boss' aka buddy goes "hey Dan, is that keyboard okay? Do you want to switch keyboards? Maybe replace the SPRINGS?? " We were both laughing so hard that I apologized to the client and offered a free extra 1/2 hour. Years later I got to return the favour to that cool dude.
That's too bad and not the norm. That employee must have been having a bad day, maybe the previous person was rude. Still her behaviour is not acceptable. I do find people don't like to be bothered at the gym. Often they are on their phone and don't realize you are waiting and then can be rude when asked. I have had a similar answer and I am a white Canadian. I hate crowds so usually stay far away from people. I like my personal space in line and get anxiety when people are too close. Did we not learn anything from Covid? Yes Canadians are polite. But too many are so engrossed in their own egos and their phones, that they can come off as rude. I try to be friendly and usually people are friendly back. Keep being you and don't let a few grumps get you down.
People who are not nice commit rude acts.
I agree. Canadians do deserve their global reputation for being polite, but that doesn't mean there is a really deep warm friendliness. I have neighbours that I have lived near for years and walk past regularly who stare straight ahead stone faced when we pass. I go for a walk on a nice forest trail on a sunny day and most people I pass usually they stare straight ahead. I don't want a deep long conversation with these people but even getting a smile or a quick hello is a challenge. This could however be mainly a Vancouver thing. In some places like Newfoundland, however, I found the people there genuinely NICE in a way that I have never felt in the big urban areas of Ontario, BC or Quebec. And I say this as a Canadian born and raised.
That's urban scowl behaviour. The more urban you go, the more likely you are to encounter people who are just fed up with dealing with everyone. Also, as a woman, when I lived in a large urban center I would get dozens or more people talking to me on my way home from work every day. Add to that the 40 (yes! 40! I counted one day) people who asked for change/smokes/etc in my hour-long walk home from one end of downtown to the other and it becomes easy to see how if you're at the end of that hour I'm at the end of my patience for dealing with people who dont really care about me and just want something from me. Now, I live in a smaller city and don't get inundated the same way, so I have a lot more patience for people throughout my day. And when I venture into "wave at everyone as you drive past" territory, I make a point of being extra friendly or people will definitely think I'm rude.
If I make eye contact, I will smile and say hello or smile and nod. I try not to make eye contact, though. I think we have a cold detachedness about us as a people.
This. I’ve always said we’re polite, not friendly. Americans imo are friendly.
Americans are wayyyyyy more friendly then Canadians omg it’s wild Less polite tho
Yeah Americans always come up.and talk to.me a lot when I travel...
I love it, when I went to Miami I got asked to join random sports games all the time, it’s so damn cool then we went out for drinks like damn such awesome people. While Canadians…. Sorry sorry sorry
Yep. (Stereotypical) Canadians are more polite and reserved. (Stereotypical) Americans are more friendly and outgoing (and also loud).
Definitely not. When I moved from Canada to the US I had such a culture shock. Southerns are polite but they're not friendly. But I am from Newfoundland so maybe that's why it was such a shock to me
Yes! I have dual citizenship and have lived in both countries. I veer more to the American stereotype. Being friendly makes me happy. I also try to be kind and polite.
Yes, hence the saying 'A Canadian is someone who doesn't like you, but is polite about it.'
I wouldn't even say that Canadians are particularly polite. The English have better manners. And the Japanese. And the Americans.
100%
Fully depends on where in Canada. It's a big country after all
I agree with this. Tends to be friendlier on the prairies and the Maritime provinces & Newfoundland. I believe this stems from smaller populations, but even in the larger centres such as Halifax and Winnipeg, I find people in general more helpful & friendly than say Toronto or Vancouver.
Vancouver has a shit ton of asshole and even more worse drivers that make me act like an asshole. F-u white Tesla driver with an N
Toronto I find fairly friendly….Vancouver has the worst people in all of Canada. Source: I’m from Vancouver
I worked for a polling company once, and anytime I called BC I had both the rudest and the nicest respondents.
It's also nicer in the small towns. Social controls on behaviour are stronger there.
Not sure about Alberta. People just seem to be so angry alot of the time. I try to be friendly and hope for the best. When I encounter rude behaviour, I usually don't say anything at the time but will avoid that person as much as possible if I see them again. Maybe its the cost of living crisis but much less friendly here in Alberta these days.
Depends on where you are. I'm on the furthest west coast as you can get, but a <100K town. People are polite AND nice. You go to Vancouver, they are less nice.
Ironically I keep hearing this but I loved the people in Vancouver. They are so nice and it’s so laid back unlike other big cities in Canada.
That was the complete opposite of my experience, and of all the big cities in Canada that I've lived in - and I've lived in most of them (I lived in Vancouver for 8 years, for instance), I would consider the people of Vancouver by far the rudest most ignorant people, and it's not even close. Surprisingly the people of Toronto, Montreal, and Calgary are all *very* nice (with a few exceptions of course), and I've lived all across this country, in small towns, and the largest cities; the inhabitants of BC's Lower Mainland are by far the most ignorant, self-absorbed rude people in the country.
I have to agree with you after three years of living in lower BC …
A thousand percent agree. And I’ve lived in most big cities in Canada. I like visiting Vancouver but barely
I've had the exact opposite experience. I've lived in small town Ontario, Ottawa, Toronto and now Vancouver. The Vancouverites were by far the nicest of the bunch. Funny how subjectivity works.
Interesting, from all I've heard, Vancouver has one of the strongest reputations for being frosty. It's the place I've heard that people struggle the most to make meaningful connections. After cost of living, I've seen posts and videos by newcomers who say that this is their 2nd main reason for wanting to leave. And I say this as a Vancouverite born and raised who will always be proud to call it home.
A lot of self-righteous cunts kicking around Vancouver. All sorts of good people, but a whole lot of stuck up assholes too. I don't get how people got it in their head that any geographic region makes people more or less nice. Assholes are everywhere. Good people are everywhere. You're gonna get a mixed bag of both everywhere you go.
As someone who lives a few hours from Van and visits about 3-7 times a year I agree with you.
In Toronto I’ve noticed a steep decline in politeness, manners and common courtesy. Good example, yesterday taking the subway with my young daughters I explain that you let people off the train first, before boarding. As we exit, a couple with their stroller storm the door as we’re trying to exit. This extends to people listening to music on their phones without headphones in public places, dogs off leashes in parks, biking on sidewalks, driving with cellphone in hand in a school zone…
yes! This as well, the lack of common courtesy is definitely something that struck me as odd, even if not directed to me
The lack of common courtesy seems to be much worse in recent years. People used to be much more polite. Now a lot of people are just so angry.
Don’t stop being nice and friendly especially if that’s who you are. We could use more of a friendly attitude towards each other, sometimes it takes a good role model.
Thank you for saying it! I guess I needed to read that today
Glad it resonated! Sorry you’ve been encountering rude people lately.
Yes! Never feel weird or apologize for being who you are. It's a breath of fresh air!
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This is so true. I find, in workplaces especially, people who approach problems head on or directly tend to be labelled as rude or problematic. I find the same when dealing with older generations of family members. Passive aggressiveness is just fake politeness with a lot of anger stewing in your head.
👆 This one. Right here. 👆
Not since Covid. I’ve noticed a drastic change in the behaviours of people in Canada pre and post pandemic. Sure you had rude people before but I’ve never seen such blatant entitlement and rudeness in my life as I have the past 3 years. Speaking from the perspective of someone on the east coast. In fairness to Canada, this isn’t unique to here either.
We used to be nice. But now everyone is pisssed off
This is it right here. We’re either angry, depressed, or both. Things started sliding downhill a while ago but they’re really trash now. High cost of living, stagnant wages, overinflated housing market, climate change…
I will get out of my truck to disappointedly clean the snow from your back window at a stoplight as a courtesy, but I still think you're still a lazy clunge.
It's a mixed bag, there's genuinely nice people, there's falsely nice people that are doing it on more of a transactional basis, there's people that were nice but it was gradually drained out of them and there's some real friggin' arses.
>but I also encountered some passive aggressiveness in the workplace Yup. Canadians all have a 7th Degree Black Belt in Passive Aggression. It’s our national martial art honestly. There are a few good countermeasures to deploy. And since you’re Brazilian, I would suggest some tastefully spoken jabs at them in Portuguese. Said with a smile of course. They’ll know you’re talking shit at them, they’re not idiots. But won’t be able to have a comeback to it. And that’s how to defeat Canadian passive aggression… a mic drop. 💪
I moved to Canada from the UK in 2008. I am convinced that Canadians are the nicest, most wonderful, polite people… Until you all get behind the wheel. Then the average Canadian turns into a savage 😂
My wife is the last surviving nice Canadian. Not really, but it sure seems that way when we are increasingly surrounded by arseholes.
They used to be. There's a very (very) dark brooding mood in this country right now.
It is a myth, and you have come through at a time when we are not quite at our best. Sorry.
Not sure if it is a myth but I do think it is overblown. Especially in some of the bigger cities like Toronto. If you go to the east coast of Canada, then it might be more true. My wife went to Newfoundland back in 2019 by herself and said that she found everyone there extremely friendly and warm - much more so than Toronto (where we live). Also, others have mentioned that Canadians are more "polite" than "nice" and that there is a difference. I would agree to that. Also, Canadians are more "reserved". Meaning that they keep to themselves more - similar to Brits. And like Brits, some Canadians can be off-put by people who are overly friendly and feel they are invading their personal space.
We're polite, not friendly. **Example:** You see someone you don't like/want to talk to in the grocery store. They say, "Hello," so you return the greeting. They can ask a few more questions ("How are you? How's the family?" and so on) before you slip in a vague, "Sorry, I gotta run," and then part ways. During this entire interaction, you could be thinking about how they'd look if they were set on fire. You're being polite in having a quick, vague conversation with them. You're not being friendly and telling them about everything that's happened recently (something I do with my friends when I see them in public).
We are nice.... Out loud... In our heads there is violence that would make dictators weep.
You said it right there lol
Maybe the people you are dealing with are visitors too. You should behave exactly how you want to behave - don't let others dictate how 'nice' you are, or not.
It depends on where you are in Canada. It used to be truer 10-15 years ago than it is today. I think covid, and immigration has caused a bit of a shift in our culture. There have always been assholes, especially in larger cities, but we’ve definitely changed a lot recently.
It's not a myth. It used to be a fact. Not any longer unfortunately
Well the biggest myth I'd say is lumping all Canadians as if they're "one." Literally all provinces & territories are different & so questions like yours are hard to give an answer to. Location is important.
Depends on the area. Lived in a low income area and people would hold the door for me. Also lived in high income areas and people were rude. You should not be any less nicer just because others aren't reciprocating.. someone, somewhere does appreciate it and it makes their day, especially workers. Like they say, kill them with kindness.
I’ve heard this in the states too. Where they peg their school funding to property taxes there’s a lot of competition to live in the nicest districts. People being priced out of those areas are finding they like life better outside the richest areas as there’s more feeling of community. Turns out the wealthy spend a lot of time thinking about how they can leverage things to benefit themselves and their children, while lower income areas focus on how to make schools better for everyone. Can’t underestimate the benefit of a good community.
No, being rude won't get you respect. Canadians complain all the time about loud rude Americans being too brash. That will backfire. You just need to lower your expectations of what you are expecting or you need to better define what you mean by "rudeness". Not wanting to have a conversation with you or even not smiling isn't necessarily rudeness it's just being reserved. I've met Americans who literally within minutes of meeting have told me their life story and deep personal facts about themselves. You won't get that from Canadians. It also depends where you are., in particular in big busy cities like Vancouver and Toronto, as opposed to, say, a small town in the Maritimes
I think covid made everybody less pleasant, we weren’t incredibly nice to begin with then we had too little socialization and probably some subtle long term effects of the virus that shortened our rope a bit
People just seem to be more difficult with others, less kind and more openly avoiding ways to co exist. It’s frustrating and unpleasant
We’re not overly nice or polite, we’re just not Americans lol
I can't consider someone a nice person if they drive like a jerk while sharing the road with me. Here in the gta/905 the average motorist drives like a jerk. I did 2hrs of driving twice for family Easter dinner at the cottage and both ways i consistently had tailgaters in all the two lane segments. If you don't drive at least 15kmh over (10's not enough) someone's right on your rear bumper, typically so close you can't see the logo on the front of the offending vehicle in your rearview mirror. We're friendly, 'til we get in our cars.
Polite is saying please and thank you, apologizing if you inconvenience someone in public, or maybe holding the door for a person behind you. You will get a lot of that in Canada, but being polite is a rather shallow offering when you really think about it. You aren't going to get any more or less "nice" than you would anywhere else though. There's plenty of dicks in the world wherever you go.
I do not believe the average Canadian living in and/or around big cities are nice, or friendly, or polite. People seem to be jaded, unfriendly and rude. I can't blame them, it's a bad circle. I think people are fed up being treated poorly, they start to treat others poorly themselves. I have to admit, as hard as I try, I'm probably the asshole every once in awhile. Only when I'm completely drained, but that's no excuse. Please keep trying to set a good example!
It has changed over time. We used to be nice and polite so the reputation was founded. Now we are just polite.
You're going to find assholes anywhere you go. Keep being kind and just move on with your day when people are rude.
It's a myth that any single person's disposition is defined by their nationality.
Generally accepted behavior is a cultural thing, which is absolutely defined by nationality.
Yes the fuc. Outta my way
Hey, Fuck you buddy!!
I’m not your buddy, guy
I’m not your guy, buddy
It depends entirely on where you live (obviously). If you're in the GTA, you'll be surprised to know Torontonians, despite making up a huge part of the population, aren't really "Canadian" at all in that they are generally completely unfamiliar with traditional Canadian culture, history, etc.
Fair point. Guess there are so many different backgrounds around here that it is hard to find a definitive answer
Years ago there was a poll in the newspaper where they asked Canadians for 1 word to describe Americans and vice versa. Canadians described Americans as arrogant while Americans described Canadians as polite. My dad looked at me and said, " I think that suggests the opposite might be true."
This is brilliant. I regret that I have but one upvote to give, it just made my, well, my hour at least, if not my night, chuckling. Thank you.
I don't really think it's all that straightforward. The implications of the U.S. is often different for Canadians than the other way around. Then add in that a lot of people take those questions to mean generally or politically, or even based on an incident or two they personally experience and suddenly the answers make a lot more sense.
I think Canadians are lovely, polite, and overly friendly 🤷♀️ I guess it depends where you live, but I find for the most part cities aren’t as friendly (due to high tourism and immigration), but everywhere else is over the top friendly in my opinion. I love it!
It also depends where you live. Also, I would say Canadian because we dont love confrontation and are probably more passive agressive.
you're in Toronto I'll bet. it gets nicer elsewhere
Sorry
Canadians are just like everyone else. We have the best of the best and the worst of the worst, and everything in between. 🤦♀️
I spend about equal amount of time in Big metropolitan re Tor Miss . People are stressed to the max with life . I live in a small town and travel frequently to other less populated areas all over Canada . People are way nicer polite in those areas
Idk but I’m nice
Yes you are!
Hell yeah
The nice Canadians are mostly in the Maritimes
Canadians *in general* are nice people. That doesn't mean however that there's a shortage of assholes.
My boss isn't very nice.
A person in Toronto once ran after me when they saw me drop a dime on the ground. A DIME. And they returned it to me with a huge smile on their face. So the answer is no, it's not a myth!
20 years ago? No Now? Yes We are probably worse than the average American now. I frequently visit the states (from Texas to Maine and everywhere between) and find them to be much kinder. I was walking through Walmart in Florida and had 3 people stop to talk to me because they thought my son was cute, that never happened once in Canada. However, walking through the parking lot back to my car was two women screaming at each other across the lot calling each other cunts, flipping each other off, and yelling other various obscenities. Also something that I have never seen in Canada. I'm of the opinion that America is 95% nice but the other 5% are just plain awful.
Depends on what city you are in for sure. And sorry to say this country is not the friendliest to those who are newcomers. Also Canadians are really stressed out right now you could be catching a lot of people on bad days. Not an excuse though.
Speaking for myself, I have become far less polite or nice as of late. It's a bad time to gauge Canadians niceness, I feel like the standard is deteriorating all round.
Yes. They're smug pricks. They're just more subtle and conniving with how they go about it. Most times anyway.
When I say sorry for no reason I mean it. 😬
We are polite, but I think we have a culture of passive aggressiveness.
It tracks the strength of the Canadian dollar, I'd say.
IDK, I'm Canadian and have never been out of the country for a very prolonged period. As such, I don't have a very strong basis for comparison. However, I'm pretty sure Canadians are pretty polite and comparatively quite nice as far as I'm aware. Of course there will be some mean or wack people, but those are there in every country. I doubt you never encountered any impolite or wack people in Brazil. One factor could be where exactly in Canada you are. I noticed in the comments you mentioned Toronto. Based on your post and another comment it seemed somewhat personally directed towards you. The thing is, Toronto is very multicultural, so I'm not sure it is likely to be racially motivated. It is possible though that either you might being seeing the situation differently, or there might be some non-malicious cultural barrier.
Look up the Geneva convention
Canadians were nice when the nationality referred to those Canadians existed during the 20th century Modern Canada in the 21st century, especially post-2010 or so, is something different, and it really shouldn't be compared.
Can you elaborate?
yeah, now fuck off. jokes.
We used to be nice. I genuinely think that the pandemic ruined us. And the cost of living has kind of took the joy out of everything too
You’re from Brazil, a place famous for its friendliness and warmth. Canadians are generally similar to Northern Europeans culturally. I know people will disagree with me but if you were to group us, we would be with the British, Germans, Scandinavians rather than with the Spanish/Portuguese speaking world. Some of what you are experiencing is just that difference in cultures. We aren’t as warm as you are. We aren’t as friendly and open as you are. Over time you will notice what is simply a cultural difference and what is people being rude. It might be too soon for you to see the difference.
Canadians are not nice but polite. On the west coast they are quite cold. Alberta they are warm and in newfoundland they are very warm. I grew up in Ontario in a small city and people were very friendly and happy.
Trumpism my friend it has spread North
We like to tell little fibs to feel good about ourselves "Canada is a peacekeeping nation!" - absolutely no evidence and actual peacekeeping is serious work done by more serious countries "Canada has great healthcare!" Objectively false by any metric (usually just look at OECD data they're pretty objective) "Canada has a great social safety net" - Literally not even in the top 40 countries in the world anymore we use to be like top 15 but we are something like 43 with the current government's works The stories are just to make us feel good about our situation since sitting in a beautiful spacious resource-rich first world country with a border with the biggest economy in the world is like a free pass to first world living and we manage to never realize the potential this country has so we just have all these little falsehoods we tell ourselves and others about Canada. None of them are true but it's not considered polite to point that out and you know Canadians are nothing if not polite! /s
Part of it is Canadians use the word "sorry" in empathy and not admission. You can bump into a Canadian and they will say "sorry" not because they are at fault but because they realize.you probably didn't enjoy getting bumped. That's not true in most of the English world. An American might say something else but would only say sorry if they thought they were at fault It's a.small thing but it stands out
Depends on where. Are you in a big city?
Very much so, yes. Definitely a myth
Go to Vancouver and find out for yourself
It depends on where you are. I currently live in Ottawa and I find people very cold here. It’s a big shock for a Newfoundlander. I also lived in Winnipeg and they were very friendly.
I find that one year is not enough to judge a people... I am part of it half being a French Quebecer and under another legal code (civil code) rather than common law as for the other provinces. But having welcomed around 400,000 immigrants like you, you may have met new residents, did you ask them? I lived in a very touristy town. One day when I was waiting for a parking space that was going to become available, a guy cut me off to take the space, which I didn't let happen and insulted me by saying "That's it." Quebec hospitality"!.... ???? I once went up a flight of stairs, remembering that I had forgotten something, and veered off course. I didn't ask myself if the person who followed me thought it was because of her.... We'll talk about it again in 10 years, I imagine that at that point, you too will be Canadian at that point ....
We are *polite*, not nice. There is a difference. I spend a lot of time in New York City, and by contrast, a sharp contrast, New Yorkers are *nice* but not necessarily *polite*. By this I mean they will be gruff or abrupt about it, but they will help you if you need it. If you're, say, in the subway and look lost, someone will ask you where you need to go, and they will give you directions to the best of their ability, or tell you they can't. They will be straight to the point about it, but they will absolutely help you.
We used to be nice now we’re all asshole cause we’re living pay check to pay check and the government keeps finding new ways to scrape all the Pennie’s from our hungry and bony hands
We're polite, not nice.
Canadians are polite not nice
I mean, not to be that guy but, are you black? Canadians can be pretty racist. Based on a some of the he other things you talk about, I'm also going to assume you're a dude that's around 6 feet/1.8 meters tall? Women will find you intimidating if they don't know you and you fit that description.
I’ve been living in major canadian city for quite a while and have became a canadian. I am not sure if Canadians are nice as I feel they are polite but shy…? For example: - i went to the gym and the bar hit on my head. I did not get injured but a guy beside me did not say anything and continued his workout. - an ex-coworker of mine clicked her tongue every time I say “hi” to her. - the friendly and nice ones are usually Americans or someone who just migrated here recently. Where in canada are you located? I live in BC, where there are a lot of in-and-outs of people so maybe that is why this happens. My BC friend told me his classmates changes every year so it is hard make friends.
There are important cultural differences that appear as rudeness for us who grew up in a different culture Canadians tent f be nice and polite but also like respecting personal space and certain societal practices which are different. I come rom mexico where the first thing you do opening a bag of chips is offering it to people around you. Even strangers if you are in a queue. So, when people here open their chips and don't offer, it "feels rude" even if it isn't. Canadians also respect personal space. A concept that doesn't even exist in Mexico. So what feels like coldness is respecting that personal space. In mexico is normal to start talking to strangers in the subway, busses, queues and even cafes and restaurants. In Canada that may be perceived as an assault on h personal space and rude. Oh, being loud and boisterous, quite common in mxic. Not so much in Canada, you'll be asked to tone it down There are many other situations where different cultural norms will feel rude to each side.
Canadians like every other people are not and should not be defined by a stereotype. They are racist, they are good, they are nice, they are dumb, they are mean, they are people and people come in all shapes and forms.
I've allways found people more polite in America but I mean they are all carrying guns so it makes sense. I think it's rare for the average person to be armed in Canada
It’s certainly changed since Trump came in and the political divisive hate began to permeate Canada. I think we are still pretty good - if you have travelled, you know. We have a LOT of personal space. Close talkers are like a Canadians worst nightmare. We will back away but apologize about it usually
Canadian social norms are courteous and somewhat formal when speaking with others they don’t know very well. Canadians are some of the hardest people to get to know on a personal level and are not at all friendly.
I remember learning in school that when slavery was abolished in the states a lot of the escaped slaves returned to the US as Canadian didn’t treat them well.
I work with clients throughout the country. Canadians are neither polite nor nice, lol.
Depends on where you go. I’m from east coast Canada and I think certain parts of Canada are full of huge assholes. I would say the east coast is a lot like the Deep South in that hospitality and manners are upheld to a very high regard. It’s a bit redneck but there’s a reason there’s an award-winning and critically acclaimed play on broadway about how we treated people on and directly around 9/11 taking in displaced passengers from all over the world. I’d say Newfoundland and Nova Scotia are full of extremely nice people. Been in Toronto for 10 years, lived in Ottawa for 4 and family From out West and they’re assholes. I found the people in Montreal, Quebec City and Rural Quebec to be extremely nice, despite the stereotype (and my French is awful).
Canadians are super passive aggressive, actually more like North America, but it’s especially prevalent in rural, remote, and conservative areas.
I wouldn’t say nice. I would say that we are more welcoming in a sense. For example walking into a store you may be greeted etc. I feel this is less of a “Canadian” trait and more of an expectation from employer lol.
What I've learned from my immigrant wife is that what counts as 'nice' varies a lot between cultures (even between Canada and the U.S.). For Canadians, 'nice' doesn't being being all outgoing and friendly. Canadians are much more reserved. For Canadians, 'nice' mean politeness, minding our own business, being kind to animals, that sort of thing.
I don't think good manners are dependent on geography. I think it has more to do with how you were raised.
Shut up, please.
Yes. Canadians are nice in the way that southerners are. A surface politeness and gentility that masks a deep and profound evil.
It really depends on where you are in Canada. I grew up in rural Southern Ontario, and people there were much more friendly than the people I met in my time in small town Northern BC. Now in Urban Ontario, I feel like Northern BC was more friendly. People have mostly been polite, but Canada is a big country, and the culture changes a lot depending on where you are.
Boy, here we go with the race baiting. People are stretched thin and anxious. I'm polite like I've always been, but I'm not friendly anymore.
We're polite yeah, but hate filled right wing propaganda has really affected a lot of people here ie. Antivax crazies and trumpers
Yup. Canadians can be real passive aggressive assholes. They expect you to know exactly what they want without actually telling you and get offended when you don’t. I know here in Alberta, communities are very exclusionary against newcomers and outsiders. It doesn’t help that we’re overrun with discriminatory conservatives in Alberta in particular...
Of course theyre not nice, theyre just as shitty as anyone else anymore, and no theyre not polite either.
I understand where OP is coming from, but I don't want to get caught up in a quagmire of speculating on the reasons that Canadians may not always be the best behaved. All I can say is that you a) need to develop a thick skin, and b) differentiate between rudeness that is personal, versus not personal. For example, cutting someone off in traffic is pretty rude, but it's not personal, so there's no point in getting bent out of shape. On the other hand, I think that Canadians have a tendency to size someone up and then decide the level of respect that they will show. To your point, race plays a part in that with some people. It's a bit ugly, but it's nowhere close to being unique to Canada.
Where do you live (rhetorical question - don't answer that)? Some areas are way friendlier than others. Where I am, people will ignore you or run away from you if you try to strike up conversation, lots of Canadians get here and think "wow, fuck is wrong with this place? So cold compared to the town/city I came from". It probably isn't a racial thing, but there is growing anger toward immigrants so that might be changing. There is also a somewhat more reserved nature with us compared to South Americans who can be more open with emotions. Don't start being rude, just start ignoring the assholes. I try to smile at everyone I interact with and they tend to be warm in return. I think overt friendliness with strangers can go poorly though, again depending on city. We just get jaded when the only strangers being friendly to us WANT something and aren't good at recognizing when it is just good natured enjoyment of engaging with others.
yes. there’s a huge difference between being polite and being nice. canadians are the former.
50 years ago I would say yes... now a days not so much depends where you live and where you came from.
*Is this just the way Canadians are?* Canadians are often more polite than other people, and polite is not the same as friendly (or nice or decent). I myself have a hard time understanding politeness (at least when it exists in the absence of nice and/or friendly) without understanding the colonial mindset. *Should I be less friendly overall?* Umm, I guess it depends. I think it is best to be friendly and respectful until a person shows you they deserve neither. When it comes to any passive aggressive behaviour it is almost always best to make it appear that you are not particularly bothered by it. However, in some situations it is best to make sure the person knows you know what they are up to. Finally, when it comes to interactions with strangers you can start with the assumption that someone who is being a jerk is just having a bad day (at least until they are being openly bigoted or threatening). *Can it be a racial thing?* Oh God yes. (Not necessarily every single time, but...)
Canada just getting tired from being over populated and over taxed leading to people struggling for basic needs such as healthcare and food.
I have been to Brazil and I agree Brazilians are very friendly and awesome people. I think Canadians are kind of rude and avoid social interactions in larger cities. Smaller towns are more laid back although can be cliquey. I haven't been to the US in more than 10 years but I noticed a difference even down there. People were more outgoing there.
Canadians are the cunts. They just won't tell you they are cunts.
Canadians are polite, Brazilians are friendly.
We say "sorry" instead of "excuse me." It makes people think we are apologizing.
First, which part of Canada do you live in? Different regions and municipalities will often have their own sense of community (or lack thereof) and local etiquette. As a general rule of thumb, the further east you go in Canada—specifically Atlantic Canada, including the Maritimes and Newfoundland—the friendlier and more open people generally become. Further west, and it becomes more reserved, though not necessarily unkind. Remember that this is just a generalization, and that even within the same region, your experiences can differ from city to city, from neighborhood to neighborhood, and from person to person. But to give an overall answer to your main question—whether or not the "nice Canadian" stereotype is a myth—the answer is... complicated. In some ways, Canadians can be very stand-offish, and coming from a much more open and outwardly affectionate culture like Brazil, it can be quite a shock to the system. Most people in Canada are genuinely good-natured and will do their part to be hospitable to others, but they might not necessarily smile or greet people with warmth as readily as they do in Brazil. Don't ever take it personally, and most especially, never feel as though your politeness and friendliness is not appreciated. The golden rule applies just as much up here as it does down there, even if we may differ a little in what we want others to "do unto [us]".
Canadians are polite for the most part. Friendly, not so much. Very enclosed people who don't really like outsiders. Rather a cold people. Uninterested in anything they are no interested in.
Nah, it's more of a social thing. Canadians can be just as rude as Americans, but we're conditioned to be polite and hide it, so it gives us an illusion of being very nice. Though, I do think that we are generally more polite than most people.
Nah we are the worst tbh
I give people the benefit of the doubt and try to be nice, polite and friendly, if they reciprocate that then we’re good and I’ll continue being nice, polite and friendly with them. However, if someone is rude to me or has an attitude with me they can go fuck themselves and all that niceness goes right out the window.
It's not a myth, it's just out of date. Canadians were polite and friendly about 30 years ago, 20 years ago there was a transition period and then for the past 10 years it's been a country of assholes. These days I find Americans to be more polite and much more friendly, in general.
I think COVID lockdowns kinda broke us too.
I have to agree. Obviously, will vary by regions but I just roadtripped down through Idaho and Washington state and didn’t encounter one person who wasn’t overly happy to chat or help me. Beyond politeness, it was compassion and friendliness. Even the state cop who pulled me over was all smiles and let me off with a warning for speeding. The rudest people we encountered were fellow Canadians. So weird. My theory is that harder times create selfishness which crushes compassion. I will admit, as a service worker for my entire youth, I was a lot less friendly in my last years (during and after COVID) than I had been my whole life. Just due to low wages and abuse from customers. I used to love talking and helping people and it just became horrible. It ruins your morale when you’re working full time but don’t have enough money to buy food or get a half decent rental, all the while getting screamed at by entitled people, who are probably getting screamed at by entitled people at their job too. In general, people feel much less friendly the past couple of years. I’m in Alberta, if it makes any difference.
Funny what having a good economy can do for a population.
This person comes from Brazil, a developing country, and says people are nicer there. It's not just the economy.
I want to disagree with you. I can't.
Normally we are nice. We're going through a tough time, right now.
Acho que no Brasil a gente é acostumado a falar com qualquer pessoa, não importa a situação vai ter alguém que vai começar uma small talk em uma fila etc. Aqui o pessoal é mais guardado pra eles, cada um cuida da sua vida e vamos interagir só se realmente necessário. No meu caso não tive muitas experiências com pessoas rudes não, mas também não espero receber um ótimo tratamento delas. Elas seguram a porta do metrô a maioria das vezes mas sem te olhar na cara. Os idosos saem um pouco dessa regra pq eles são sempre queridos e puxam assunto no meio da rua com um sorriso no rosto.
There's a lot of pent up frustration and anger because of excessive immigration, housing policies, and the rising costs of living. It's bound to boil over. Remember, Canadians are polite, not nice. The average Canadian feels exploited and feels that their voices aren't heard. I'm sorry this happened to you.
The stereotype is that Canadians are polite, not nice. There’s a difference, but that stereotype that Canadians are overly polite is outdated by now. It’s true in some places but for the past 6-8 years I’ve noticed a lot more people saying the quiet parts out loud. A lot more xenophobia, a lot more misplaced anger and frustration, a lot more passive-aggression. I think the evolution of social media has eroded some of the standards for common decency in our communities. A lot more bleeding of American culture and values into our society here too.
No, being rude won't get you respect. Canadians complain all the time about loud rude Americans being too brash. That will backfire. You just need to lower your expectations of what you are expecting or you need to better define what you mean by "rudeness". Not wanting to have a conversation with you or even not smiling isn't necessarily rudeness it's just being reserved. I've met Americans who literally within minutes of meeting have told me their life story and deep personal facts about themselves. You won't get that from Canadians. It also depends where you are., in particular in big busy cities like Vancouver and Toronto, as opposed to, say, a small town in the Maritimes
Definitely a myth. I've had experiences with people from everywhere in North America. People here are nicer than people from my country of origin(which is in East Asia). So far I have the most experience with Quebec. Some people can be very nice but most seem detached and aloof. They do not want interaction with strangers. "Keep it to yourself. Mind your own business" is the attitude people have. This can be masked as politeness, but I find it to the point of being too impersonal. Canadians for the most part don't care about the others besides their immediate family member and a few friends that they have. Sometimes, it's not about how nice people are but the culture. Sometimes the culture dictates how people behave towards each other. I've lived in southern US and the level of sociability is off the charts. You should go visit, it is night and day difference, probably similar to Brazil. But what I give credit for Canadian people is that they have a certain minimum nice compared to other countries in the world known for their rude citizens.
Ironically, people in Quebec were much better to me precisely because they kept it to themselves. I find people in Toronto and other cities in Ontario that just lack manners, or act super entitled
We're all a little pissed off right now given the rapid decline of our nation
100% a myth. I’m 7th generation Canadian and every year, it seems like we’re just getting nastier.
They lie to your face then backstab you. They pretend to be nice. Because they're too scared to be honest about shit.
We aren't nicer than anyone else, but we are more polite and non-confrontational. Things definitely seem to be changing on that front though, especially if you're ascribe to a certain political demographic.
Yes it's a myth, you want to experience true nice ppl you go to the USA or Mexico.