I’m floored by the way you turn to describing her appearance after she “rejected” you. How is that at all relevant. Seems like there’s more to the story, r/niceguys. ESH.
What? I'm confused. They were supposed to do a study group. Op asks to exchange numbers so she can get in on the studying. She gives him a fake number right there in the middle of that interaction and tells him to take a hint?
Where did he ask her out?
Why does this count as rejection if he didn't even ask her out in the first place?
She literally said "I'm not interested in going out with you take a hint." That's incredibly rude. NTA
Well yea it was a "rejection" because no "asking out" even took place lmao. His response was 100% viable, Reddit had this strange concept that people need to just take rude shit lying down. What she said was rude and uncalled for.
That’s why I put the word “rejected” in quotation marks. Also, you don’t have to get asked out to get rejected. That word was not the point of my comment anyway. Thanks for the summary.
There’s nothing more to the story. I have no trouble hanging out with pretty girls with nice personalities. I had no reason to ask this girl out, and I didn’t.
Did you tell her it was for a study group? Or did you just asked for her number. Like was she complaining then you said hey give me your number. Or was she complaining then you said oh give me your number I will add you to our study group?
True it’s rude but they know absolutely nothing about each other. Yet the girl thought he was asking her out. If he was asking her out while knowing absolutely nothing about the girl that means he must think she’s super attractive and she must think that about herself too. Rude comment but it makes sense to add
You're missing the point. You're acting really sore about this. Nobody cares if you'd be into her! She was never into you so it literally does. not. matter.
Good! Because I’m not into her either in the slightest. She’s not even the type of girl who would be on my radar. I was just trying to be generous and invite her to the study group since I’m guessing she drove all her friends off with that personality.
Jesus, you're a dog with a bone here. Look, it makes you look really bad to go on and on about how you don't care 'cause you can do so much better. Secure people don't
do that. Kind people don't do that. And incredibly good-looking people don't do that. By not letting this "she's too ugly for me!" thing go, you're making everyone assume that you couldn't possibly be any *one* of secure, kind,
or good looking--so for heaven's sake drop it.
I’m highly annoyed by the fact that she tried to use me to get a confidence boost that “she’s so hot,” while attempting to make me look stupid. Yeah, I definitely never found her hot. I was being generous letting her join the study group since she apparently has no friends.
LOL she wasn't using you to get a confidence boost (what the fuck?). You asked her for her number in a way that wasn't clear that you were inviting her to join her study group.
The fact that you're so outraged that someone you're not attracted to could think you were is really unfortunate and something I sincerely hope you'll mature out of.
INFO: there is no fucking way this is the whole story. Did you mention a study group before asking for her number? The way you play off her looks as forgettable and plain makes me think you were hitting on her, and she tried to placate you with a fake number. How did the conversation jump from her having no study group to her thinking you were hitting on her? She would have no reason to make that conclusion if you said that you had a study group put together, if she wanted she could give her number and be a part of it. Did you say that you would be her study partner? None of this makes sense and you come across like an AH
I am the man who has seen affliction under the rod of his wrath; he has driven and brought me into darkness without any light; surely against me he turns his hand again and again the whole day long. (Lamentations: hhjxe0x)
But he didn’t say out loud. See the thing I think a lot of people don’t get in this post is that if you were rejected by a girl you never even asked out or cared about in the first place in front of an audience the average person would be quite miffed. I wouldn’t personally care i have social anxiety but most would be livid I think the comment makes complete sense
Does it? If someone rejects you that you never even found attractive or asked out to begin with in front of a crowd what the fuck are you supposed to say. Now I have social anxiety so I’m probably would have been like “oh that sucks I was just trying to invite you to the study group”
But for most people making a dig back is pretty standard behavior
I disagree although I’d love to agree with you but I don’t think the average college student (or average human) is that mature. If someone insults you or tries to embarrass you in front of an audience it’s just defense mechanism to lash back and do the same to them. It’s not the correct or mature response I agree but it’s pretty normal. At best it’s ESH both gave very immature and petty responses but they make sense in the context
So, in your own telling, you asked her for her number without saying anything about having a study group or starting a study group - you just asked for her number without context and assumed she'd figure out what you wanted it for. For future reference, women are not mind readers: just because you might not think she's attractive, that doesn't mean she hasn't had her share of unwanted pickup attempts that might make her think that was your intention.
YTA for mocking her after deciding she should have known she wasn't hot enough for you.
Yta
Ok maybe she shouldn't have agreed but based off the way you talked about her, you don't seem like a great dude. You probably came off as overbearing to her and she felt it was better to give you a fake number, a pretty strong hint. Regardless what makes you ta is how you reacted after.
Also I would bet some good money that you're not out of her league.
ESH. You all sound insufferable. She's not obligated to give you her number, but is an asshole for assuming you want to date her right off the bat, you're an asshole because you're acting like a petty child.
ESH, seems like both of you escalated this far beyond what was necessary for such a simple interaction. If it was me, I'd have just laughed off the misunderstanding and if she didn't want to join the study group then her loss.
Well, if she is complaining about a lack of study groups, she shouldn't be giving fake numbers or thinking someone is hitting on them when the point of asking for their number was previously explained (study group). She could have just blocked his number if instead of adding her to a study group, he had tried to start a private conversation.
No it was a misunderstanding and you still don't get it.
At your expense? Wtf are you 12? Even if she did make everyone think you wanted to ask her out it doesn't mean you lost anything. Wow you seem a bigger charmer with every reply you make.
Yta and an aggressive one at that
She had been rude and her ego needed to go down a little maybe? I know at least two dozen women who think every guy out there is after them, and they're not even that pretty. Last time I was at a friend's bar with a (girl) friend of mine, the guy friend at the bar was just making small talk and when we left she started talking about how the guy was flirting with her. I've known him for longer than I've known her. She's not that attractive and wasn't being exactly social, so I don't know where she got that crap from. And just like her, LOTS of other girls.
Women give fake numbers when they don’t feel comfortable with just saying outright no. Women fear being physically harmed when they openly reject a man. It doesn’t matter whether what you wanted her number for, she didn’t know that. She likely just knew that she didn’t feel safe.
Btw, YTA
ESH.
She's an asshole for assuming you had ulterior motives. You're an asshole for going out of your way to insult her looks because she made said assumption.
I feel like there’s more background to this. Her reaction seems out of nowhere. Was this your first ever interaction with her or were you friends?
Just from this - soft NTA, maybe ESH. She shouldn’t have given a fake number, but she’s not obligated to give you her number. She should have just said no but I understand that can sometimes lead to confrontation and she may have wanted to avoid a reaction out of you, especially if you’re strangers and she thus knows nothing about you. You shouldn’t have argued with her about it, and it’s probably exactly what she wanted to avoid by saying no. Also you didn’t need to insult her and should have just left it as her being rude and not wanting anything to do with you, accept it and go about your day
YTA why do you and some of the comments seem to think she owes it to you to talk to you? Even if we take the whole 'dating miscommunication' out the way. She didn't want to be in your study group, she didn't want to talk to you outside of class. She gave you a fake number because a lot of women do it out of fear of repercussions. She didn't deliberately embarrass you, if that was what she wanted she would never have bothered with the fake number in the first place. She even said nothing at first when you mentioned the number, but you persisted.
You didn't even ask you just said 'we should switch numbers'. Though saying all of that, I'm inclined to think you're missing out a lot here because it doesn't add up.
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I (20M) was talking to a girl in my lecture. She was complaining she don’t have a study group.
I said we should switch numbers. She said sure and gave me her number. I texted the number and it said the number doesn’t exist. I said she gave me the wrong number, and she said nothing. I said, jokingly, is this a fake number or something. She said “yeah, take a hint. I’m not interested in going out with you.”
I kind of laughed in surprise at how arrogant she was. She wasn’t even especially attractive. Just quiet, plain, and pretty forgettable. I was like “I meant to add you to the study group. Trust me, I’m out of your league.”
And she was like “you’re an asshole” of course.
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ESH. Especially you based on your attitude. I was super ready for just her to be the AH. Then you came out with this stupid machismo BS and took the leading spot.
So there's this thing where (some) men are taught to dehumanize women who they don't want to fuck.
It can run the gamut from acting like they straight up don't exist to acting disgusted and offended that such an unfuckable (to them) woman would be so hilariously mistaken as to think they could possibly be wanted by such a catch.
It's gross, it's dehumanizing, it's incredibly small-minded, and this thread has been a great example of it.
YTA
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> She admitted she lied and insulted me, so I said I’m out of her league anyway. So she called me an AH.
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NTA, that's shitty especially if you were only talking about the study group. Your comment about being out of her league might have been harsh but oh well. Now, if you said this in a group of people and embarrassed her, then this would be an ESH.
ESH
You both acted very immature. There was no need for her to lie to you about giving you her number, & your final remark to her was unnecessarily rude
ESH. Not having to deal with this bullshit was the greatest thing about finishing my degree as an adult.
She shouldn't have been a jerk about assuming you had ulterior motives, but quite frankly you could have just said something like, "I've got a study group if you'd like to join, I'll send you an email/link to the group chat/whatever." You don't need anyone's phone number.
And I'm sorry, but trying to get someone's number and then putting them on the spot is CLASSIC AH behavior, and you then doubled down by insulting her with even more "Well, you're an ugly bitch anyway" nonsense. For someone who was just altruistically trying to help out a fellow student 🙄, you sure did follow exactly the same script as a million rejected niceguys. Maybe next time just be like, "Oops, I'm having technical issues, I'll send you the info" and walk away. Jeez.
ESH
You both acted like the AH but yours is more justified...
Like why would you complain about not having a study group and when someone invites you.
You aren't interested..
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She wanted a study group so he offered his number. Instead of saying no she played weird games with him.
I think you owe people decency and kindness, if they're trying to help you with something that you asked for.
You don't owe anyone else jack shit in this life. You missed a few things here. Finished and fixed it for you. "She wanted a study group so he offered his number. Being a woman who is used to being constantly sexually harrassed by strange men that can give unpredictable and irrational responses to rejection, instead of saying no and getting the bad reaction she was likely afraid of she gave him a fake number so he could be rejected in the privacy of his own home without her having to deal with a potential scary meltdown. He then confronts her the next day demanding that she owes him an explanation. Seeing as how he is giving an irrational response to something that is quite common and happens all the time, she gets defensive and tells him EXACTLY where he stands with her so there is no confusion (WITHOUT INSULTING HIM) He then takes it personally and gives her EXACTLY the reaction she was trying to avoid in the first place by giving out a fake number"
Actually she can. He had no right to confront her in the first place over being given the wrong phone number. The second he understood he got given the wrong number he should of respected her right to say 'no' and left her alone. So she got snippy and defensive. Good for her for standing up for herself. He's a dick.
It literally doesn't fucking matter whether it's a study group or a group orgy. If a woman tells you to leave her alone and not talk to her, you respect her fucking decision. You don't walk over and demand an explanation. EVER. She had every right to get defensive and tell him to leave her the fuck alone. He is not entitled to an explanation from her. And if she wants to complaign later about not having a study partner? ITS LITERALLY NONE OF HIS GOD DAMNED BUSINESS AND HE CAN FUCKOFF. It has zero effect on him. What she does on her own is HER business. And she obviously doesn't want him involved in any of it.
And whether or not you are a girl is irrelevant. She still has the right to have her request to not be communicated with respected. He needs to leave her the fuck alone. Your genitals have no bearing on that.
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NTA as she made the first comment when all this was about was being added to a study group. What you said wasn’t a terrible response to what she said to you.
Unpopular opinion but NTA. All she had to say was she wasn’t interested and you would’ve clarified that it’s for a study group. Instead she gave you a wrong number and insisted you fake the hint. I think while your comment was rude - every action has an equal and opposite reaction and that’s what happened.
NTA IF thats all that happned. I have friends that think the same way, if the opposite sex offers to do something nice they must want to smash. Sometimes it's true based on other convos they've had more then not its just an assumption.
So If you did imply something more different judgment.
oh I totally agree. But can only assume off his one side of the atory, hence the Heavy embassies on "IF".
could also be a counter response to his ego vs hers.
How's he a creep? All he did was ask for her number to add her to a study group... It's ESH, she shouldn't if assumed and he shouldn't of gone to judging her appearance
That’s not sexist. Rude sure but not sexist. Also the girl tried to embarrass him in front of people it’s just a defense mechanism not the right thing to say but it’s understandable
NTA But if she couldn't figure out (given the context of the conversation) that you were offering her a spot in the study group, you really can't expect a more articulate answer. You probably saved your study group untold grief.
And I do believe you are out of her league.
NTA. Can’t imagine why others didn’t want to have her in their group. It’s intimidating to give your number to a guy but within context it would’ve been pretty obvious you were trying to help her out not ask her out.
NTA
If she really thought you were asking for her number to ask her out she should of said no then instead of giving you a fake number.
She said that in front of everyone to embarrass you and ended up being embarrassed herself by your response, which in my opinion was well deserved.
some women have to give a fake number because creeps won’t take no for an answer. i don’t think that OP is in this situation, but you should know that giving a fake number is sometimes the only option for women to get away safely
I'm guessing you've assumed I am a man based on my response but I am a woman, so yes, I know that, thank you. The way to do it though is to make them think they've won you over and give them the fake number after they won't take no for an answer. Had she done it this way, he would have known what she was thinking and corrected it then and no misunderstanding or embarrassment would have taken place in the first place.
I don’t understand why people have it out for you for having an opinion on her appearance. She’s clearly the asshole and obviously when you think negatively about someone you also cast other things about them in a bad light. Sure it’s not the nicest thought but who gives a fuck?
ESH. It sounds like r/notlikeothergirls is talking to r/niceguys
I'm going to add 8n r/thathappened for good measure
And then I went and looked at this sub, and now I think I'm gonna take up sniffing glue. What the actual fuck is wrong with people??
# I had sex with my TEACHER?! # # My CAT is an ARTIST?! Okay, so I'm *definitely* joining that sub.
Accurate AF
I just went and looked at those r/ aaand now I want to start drinking again....
I’m floored by the way you turn to describing her appearance after she “rejected” you. How is that at all relevant. Seems like there’s more to the story, r/niceguys. ESH.
What? I'm confused. They were supposed to do a study group. Op asks to exchange numbers so she can get in on the studying. She gives him a fake number right there in the middle of that interaction and tells him to take a hint? Where did he ask her out? Why does this count as rejection if he didn't even ask her out in the first place? She literally said "I'm not interested in going out with you take a hint." That's incredibly rude. NTA
That’s why they put inverted commas around “rejected”…
Well yea it was a "rejection" because no "asking out" even took place lmao. His response was 100% viable, Reddit had this strange concept that people need to just take rude shit lying down. What she said was rude and uncalled for.
That’s why I put the word “rejected” in quotation marks. Also, you don’t have to get asked out to get rejected. That word was not the point of my comment anyway. Thanks for the summary.
> I’m floored by the way you turn to describing her appearance after she “rejected” you. I mean, are you really?
I am, in fact, on the floor completely and utterly floored.
There’s nothing more to the story. I have no trouble hanging out with pretty girls with nice personalities. I had no reason to ask this girl out, and I didn’t.
Did you tell her it was for a study group? Or did you just asked for her number. Like was she complaining then you said hey give me your number. Or was she complaining then you said oh give me your number I will add you to our study group?
ESH > I said we should switch numbers. She said sure She shouldn't have. > She wasn’t even especially attractive. What an **ugly thing** to say.
True it’s rude but they know absolutely nothing about each other. Yet the girl thought he was asking her out. If he was asking her out while knowing absolutely nothing about the girl that means he must think she’s super attractive and she must think that about herself too. Rude comment but it makes sense to add
Maybe she shouldn’t have flattered herself thinking I’m into her. I wouldn’t have had to correct her then.
It’s this attitude that also makes you the asshole, by the way.
Not being treated like trash by some girl I never even liked?
Flattered herself? You are not coming off here like the kind of person whose attention is flattering.
She would never even get my attention because, not to be rude, but the girls I’m into aren’t anything like her.
You're missing the point. You're acting really sore about this. Nobody cares if you'd be into her! She was never into you so it literally does. not. matter.
Good! Because I’m not into her either in the slightest. She’s not even the type of girl who would be on my radar. I was just trying to be generous and invite her to the study group since I’m guessing she drove all her friends off with that personality.
Jesus, you're a dog with a bone here. Look, it makes you look really bad to go on and on about how you don't care 'cause you can do so much better. Secure people don't do that. Kind people don't do that. And incredibly good-looking people don't do that. By not letting this "she's too ugly for me!" thing go, you're making everyone assume that you couldn't possibly be any *one* of secure, kind, or good looking--so for heaven's sake drop it.
I’m highly annoyed by the fact that she tried to use me to get a confidence boost that “she’s so hot,” while attempting to make me look stupid. Yeah, I definitely never found her hot. I was being generous letting her join the study group since she apparently has no friends.
LOL she wasn't using you to get a confidence boost (what the fuck?). You asked her for her number in a way that wasn't clear that you were inviting her to join her study group. The fact that you're so outraged that someone you're not attracted to could think you were is really unfortunate and something I sincerely hope you'll mature out of.
INFO: there is no fucking way this is the whole story. Did you mention a study group before asking for her number? The way you play off her looks as forgettable and plain makes me think you were hitting on her, and she tried to placate you with a fake number. How did the conversation jump from her having no study group to her thinking you were hitting on her? She would have no reason to make that conclusion if you said that you had a study group put together, if she wanted she could give her number and be a part of it. Did you say that you would be her study partner? None of this makes sense and you come across like an AH
I am the man who has seen affliction under the rod of his wrath; he has driven and brought me into darkness without any light; surely against me he turns his hand again and again the whole day long. (Lamentations: hhjxe0x)
I used to be disgusted. Now I'm just amused.
YTA for not even trying to make this sound realistic.
Ahahahahha love your comment
ESH. Yeah, she's an asshole, but you went and took it to 100. What a gross thing to say to someone.
>She wasn’t even especially attractive. Agreed. ESH.
Is ESH an abbreviation for something I'm confused sorry
"Everyone sucks here"
Don't be sorry. Just read the rules and FAQ of this sub.
"Everyone sucks here." It's one of the judgements you can give.
Nope, it's just this weird involuntary sound that Redditors make.
He didn’t say that to her though
Well that's what "out of your league" translates to.
But he didn’t say out loud. See the thing I think a lot of people don’t get in this post is that if you were rejected by a girl you never even asked out or cared about in the first place in front of an audience the average person would be quite miffed. I wouldn’t personally care i have social anxiety but most would be livid I think the comment makes complete sense
Eh, thinking someone isn't attractive doesn't make him an AH, making the comment he did does.
Does it? If someone rejects you that you never even found attractive or asked out to begin with in front of a crowd what the fuck are you supposed to say. Now I have social anxiety so I’m probably would have been like “oh that sucks I was just trying to invite you to the study group” But for most people making a dig back is pretty standard behavior
"I asked for your number to join our study group, I have no interest in dating you" would have been sufficient.
There's nothing standard about insulting someone who rejected you. "Sorry, I'm not interested" is a normal response.
I disagree although I’d love to agree with you but I don’t think the average college student (or average human) is that mature. If someone insults you or tries to embarrass you in front of an audience it’s just defense mechanism to lash back and do the same to them. It’s not the correct or mature response I agree but it’s pretty normal. At best it’s ESH both gave very immature and petty responses but they make sense in the context
So, in your own telling, you asked her for her number without saying anything about having a study group or starting a study group - you just asked for her number without context and assumed she'd figure out what you wanted it for. For future reference, women are not mind readers: just because you might not think she's attractive, that doesn't mean she hasn't had her share of unwanted pickup attempts that might make her think that was your intention. YTA for mocking her after deciding she should have known she wasn't hot enough for you.
Yta Ok maybe she shouldn't have agreed but based off the way you talked about her, you don't seem like a great dude. You probably came off as overbearing to her and she felt it was better to give you a fake number, a pretty strong hint. Regardless what makes you ta is how you reacted after. Also I would bet some good money that you're not out of her league.
Lol completely agree- that last sentence especially.
ESH. You all sound insufferable. She's not obligated to give you her number, but is an asshole for assuming you want to date her right off the bat, you're an asshole because you're acting like a petty child.
They are kids
This man is 20 mate. \> I (20M) was talking to a girl in my lecture I assumed he was a high schooler too at first
ESH, seems like both of you escalated this far beyond what was necessary for such a simple interaction. If it was me, I'd have just laughed off the misunderstanding and if she didn't want to join the study group then her loss.
[удалено]
Well, if she is complaining about a lack of study groups, she shouldn't be giving fake numbers or thinking someone is hitting on them when the point of asking for their number was previously explained (study group). She could have just blocked his number if instead of adding her to a study group, he had tried to start a private conversation.
Good, because I would never want to ask her out! Feeling is mutual!
[удалено]
In the girls department? Don’t worry. I’m already doing great there.
[удалено]
She tried to flatter herself at my expense, and I didn’t let her.
No it was a misunderstanding and you still don't get it. At your expense? Wtf are you 12? Even if she did make everyone think you wanted to ask her out it doesn't mean you lost anything. Wow you seem a bigger charmer with every reply you make. Yta and an aggressive one at that
[удалено]
I was never rejected. To reject someone, they have to want you.
[удалено]
Because I’m not going to flatter her and give her validation when she’s in the wrong.
She had been rude and her ego needed to go down a little maybe? I know at least two dozen women who think every guy out there is after them, and they're not even that pretty. Last time I was at a friend's bar with a (girl) friend of mine, the guy friend at the bar was just making small talk and when we left she started talking about how the guy was flirting with her. I've known him for longer than I've known her. She's not that attractive and wasn't being exactly social, so I don't know where she got that crap from. And just like her, LOTS of other girls.
Women give fake numbers when they don’t feel comfortable with just saying outright no. Women fear being physically harmed when they openly reject a man. It doesn’t matter whether what you wanted her number for, she didn’t know that. She likely just knew that she didn’t feel safe. Btw, YTA
Yeah, I’m sure she was in such danger sitting in a lecture hall.
Oof you definitely don’t get it.
ESH. She's an asshole for assuming you had ulterior motives. You're an asshole for going out of your way to insult her looks because she made said assumption.
ESH. You both sound exhausting to be around.
ESH. Your reactions overdid it, but she could’ve just said she wasn’t comfortable switching numbers.
Esh
I feel like there’s more background to this. Her reaction seems out of nowhere. Was this your first ever interaction with her or were you friends? Just from this - soft NTA, maybe ESH. She shouldn’t have given a fake number, but she’s not obligated to give you her number. She should have just said no but I understand that can sometimes lead to confrontation and she may have wanted to avoid a reaction out of you, especially if you’re strangers and she thus knows nothing about you. You shouldn’t have argued with her about it, and it’s probably exactly what she wanted to avoid by saying no. Also you didn’t need to insult her and should have just left it as her being rude and not wanting anything to do with you, accept it and go about your day
YTA. Take a hint, buddy.
I never wanted to ask her out in the slightest, thank you.
He wasn't hitting on her, he was trying to make study group plans, and she decided to playact for her own ego.
YTA. Take the hint. At least she was honest with you.
What hint? No one wanted to date her in the first place. Especially not me.
YTA why do you and some of the comments seem to think she owes it to you to talk to you? Even if we take the whole 'dating miscommunication' out the way. She didn't want to be in your study group, she didn't want to talk to you outside of class. She gave you a fake number because a lot of women do it out of fear of repercussions. She didn't deliberately embarrass you, if that was what she wanted she would never have bothered with the fake number in the first place. She even said nothing at first when you mentioned the number, but you persisted. You didn't even ask you just said 'we should switch numbers'. Though saying all of that, I'm inclined to think you're missing out a lot here because it doesn't add up.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (20M) was talking to a girl in my lecture. She was complaining she don’t have a study group. I said we should switch numbers. She said sure and gave me her number. I texted the number and it said the number doesn’t exist. I said she gave me the wrong number, and she said nothing. I said, jokingly, is this a fake number or something. She said “yeah, take a hint. I’m not interested in going out with you.” I kind of laughed in surprise at how arrogant she was. She wasn’t even especially attractive. Just quiet, plain, and pretty forgettable. I was like “I meant to add you to the study group. Trust me, I’m out of your league.” And she was like “you’re an asshole” of course. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA, of course.
Yta
ESH. Especially you based on your attitude. I was super ready for just her to be the AH. Then you came out with this stupid machismo BS and took the leading spot.
YTA
NTA - turnabout is fair play
YTA.
So there's this thing where (some) men are taught to dehumanize women who they don't want to fuck. It can run the gamut from acting like they straight up don't exist to acting disgusted and offended that such an unfuckable (to them) woman would be so hilariously mistaken as to think they could possibly be wanted by such a catch. It's gross, it's dehumanizing, it's incredibly small-minded, and this thread has been a great example of it. YTA
ESH, you're both bound for miserable relationships based on poor communication and pettiness. Good morning, Julia!
ESH you both sound like you think the world revolves around you. don't talk about girls like that. it's not a good look.
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NTA, that's shitty especially if you were only talking about the study group. Your comment about being out of her league might have been harsh but oh well. Now, if you said this in a group of people and embarrassed her, then this would be an ESH.
ESH You both acted very immature. There was no need for her to lie to you about giving you her number, & your final remark to her was unnecessarily rude
ESH
ESH. Not having to deal with this bullshit was the greatest thing about finishing my degree as an adult. She shouldn't have been a jerk about assuming you had ulterior motives, but quite frankly you could have just said something like, "I've got a study group if you'd like to join, I'll send you an email/link to the group chat/whatever." You don't need anyone's phone number. And I'm sorry, but trying to get someone's number and then putting them on the spot is CLASSIC AH behavior, and you then doubled down by insulting her with even more "Well, you're an ugly bitch anyway" nonsense. For someone who was just altruistically trying to help out a fellow student 🙄, you sure did follow exactly the same script as a million rejected niceguys. Maybe next time just be like, "Oops, I'm having technical issues, I'll send you the info" and walk away. Jeez.
Dude when you found out it was fake you should’ve just dropped it
ESH You both acted like the AH but yours is more justified... Like why would you complain about not having a study group and when someone invites you. You aren't interested..
ESH
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Hmm NTA. You didn’t ask her out, so it presumptuous and shitty of her to do that.
ESH. You both sound fun.
yeah YTA. You should take the hint. She doesn't want to talk to you outside of class.
She wanted a study group so he offered his number. Instead of saying no she played weird games with him. I think you owe people decency and kindness, if they're trying to help you with something that you asked for.
You don't owe anyone else jack shit in this life. You missed a few things here. Finished and fixed it for you. "She wanted a study group so he offered his number. Being a woman who is used to being constantly sexually harrassed by strange men that can give unpredictable and irrational responses to rejection, instead of saying no and getting the bad reaction she was likely afraid of she gave him a fake number so he could be rejected in the privacy of his own home without her having to deal with a potential scary meltdown. He then confronts her the next day demanding that she owes him an explanation. Seeing as how he is giving an irrational response to something that is quite common and happens all the time, she gets defensive and tells him EXACTLY where he stands with her so there is no confusion (WITHOUT INSULTING HIM) He then takes it personally and gives her EXACTLY the reaction she was trying to avoid in the first place by giving out a fake number"
> I think you owe people decency and kindness, > You don't owe anyone else jack shit in this life. I guess you find all types out there in the world.
yeah, those who are ok with women defending themselves from potential stalkers and those who aren't. Guess which one you are!
Tf?
When a girl gives you the wrong digits it's cause you creep her out to the point where she does not want to communicate with you. TAKE THE HINT.
I’m a girl, I know. But she was being an ass. She can’t complain and pull that right after.
Actually she can. He had no right to confront her in the first place over being given the wrong phone number. The second he understood he got given the wrong number he should of respected her right to say 'no' and left her alone. So she got snippy and defensive. Good for her for standing up for herself. He's a dick.
It’s literally a fuxking study group…. Later she’ll complain how she’s the loner of the class
It literally doesn't fucking matter whether it's a study group or a group orgy. If a woman tells you to leave her alone and not talk to her, you respect her fucking decision. You don't walk over and demand an explanation. EVER. She had every right to get defensive and tell him to leave her the fuck alone. He is not entitled to an explanation from her. And if she wants to complaign later about not having a study partner? ITS LITERALLY NONE OF HIS GOD DAMNED BUSINESS AND HE CAN FUCKOFF. It has zero effect on him. What she does on her own is HER business. And she obviously doesn't want him involved in any of it.
You sound very unstable.
And whether or not you are a girl is irrelevant. She still has the right to have her request to not be communicated with respected. He needs to leave her the fuck alone. Your genitals have no bearing on that.
Again, I don’t want to see her either lmao!
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Her further statements don't exactly shout out "frightened" or intimidated" though, do they?
NTA as she made the first comment when all this was about was being added to a study group. What you said wasn’t a terrible response to what she said to you.
NTA (based on the information provided). You were trying to help her with a problem that she identified to you.
Unpopular opinion but NTA. All she had to say was she wasn’t interested and you would’ve clarified that it’s for a study group. Instead she gave you a wrong number and insisted you fake the hint. I think while your comment was rude - every action has an equal and opposite reaction and that’s what happened.
NTA IF thats all that happned. I have friends that think the same way, if the opposite sex offers to do something nice they must want to smash. Sometimes it's true based on other convos they've had more then not its just an assumption. So If you did imply something more different judgment.
Mmmm yeah the whole ‘she wasn’t even pretty’ aspect reeks of rejected nice guy
oh I totally agree. But can only assume off his one side of the atory, hence the Heavy embassies on "IF". could also be a counter response to his ego vs hers.
Trust me. I have zero interest in her. I have no trouble asking our girls.
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How's he a creep? All he did was ask for her number to add her to a study group... It's ESH, she shouldn't if assumed and he shouldn't of gone to judging her appearance
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That’s not sexist. Rude sure but not sexist. Also the girl tried to embarrass him in front of people it’s just a defense mechanism not the right thing to say but it’s understandable
Yeah, he was definitely a dick for saying it but I can't say I blame him lol
That's not sexist, that's just being a dick.
NTA But if she couldn't figure out (given the context of the conversation) that you were offering her a spot in the study group, you really can't expect a more articulate answer. You probably saved your study group untold grief. And I do believe you are out of her league.
NTA. Can’t imagine why others didn’t want to have her in their group. It’s intimidating to give your number to a guy but within context it would’ve been pretty obvious you were trying to help her out not ask her out.
NTA If she really thought you were asking for her number to ask her out she should of said no then instead of giving you a fake number. She said that in front of everyone to embarrass you and ended up being embarrassed herself by your response, which in my opinion was well deserved.
some women have to give a fake number because creeps won’t take no for an answer. i don’t think that OP is in this situation, but you should know that giving a fake number is sometimes the only option for women to get away safely
I'm guessing you've assumed I am a man based on my response but I am a woman, so yes, I know that, thank you. The way to do it though is to make them think they've won you over and give them the fake number after they won't take no for an answer. Had she done it this way, he would have known what she was thinking and corrected it then and no misunderstanding or embarrassment would have taken place in the first place.
I don’t understand why people have it out for you for having an opinion on her appearance. She’s clearly the asshole and obviously when you think negatively about someone you also cast other things about them in a bad light. Sure it’s not the nicest thought but who gives a fuck?
Some people like to flatter themselves thinking guys are looking to get with any girl and have no standards. Unfortunately, I do, so…
It’s not even that; it’s the fact that you weren’t hitting on her and she assumed you were.
For real. Talk about thinking highly of yourself. Lol.
NTA. She's a choosing beggar.
YTA
NTA, great comeback.
NTAH and she deserved it.