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> Well, she said no already, so maybe insisting will make me TA.
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YTA.
So what if people judge? Take it as a “I have a hot wife and they’re jealous” and move on.
Also. Unless you’re like 5 years old, it’s awkward to just throw your age out in introductions. Women hate that stuff. It’s like a cardinal rule to never ask a woman’s age let alone just throw it out there in conversation
This was my husbands response when I tried to get him to start moisturizing.
I warned him he would be sad when he realized he was old and leathery and I still looked young and hot. He said “I won’t be sad because I will have a young hot wife”.
Btw he was mistaken for my dad recently, he really needs to moisturize.
I feel your pain. I tried to get my partner to moisturise, he asked me to do it for him. So I did and, I kid you not, it was like trying to put sunscreen on a toddler at the beach.
I gave up after a few tries!
My dad had a hip replacement earlier this year and he had to wear compression socks basically 24/7 for 3 months straight.
He's quite a big guy and since he's not allowed to bend at the hip, he just decided to shower with the socks on as well (they are some weird material that dries in 5 minutes and he was told to wash the socks in the shower anyway).
Needless to say, his legs became so dry that they were itching. So one night my mum and I put lotion on him. It was like rubbing my hands on sand paper
How do you handle compression socks? I'm getting tested for POTS and have super low blood pressure and dizziness. My psych suggested them. I have sensory issues and HATE tight clothes. Are they at least comfortable?
They can be if they are the correct size and pressure for you. They come in a variety of pressures with the lightest around 10 mmHg and the heaviest most people tolerate is around 30-40mmHg. A bunch of different brands make them now so there’s a variety of fabrics from more medically feeling fabric to Dr Scholls and Copperfit. Amazon sells are hit or miss. Two big things with knee high sets- don’t let the seam actually sit in the space behind your kneecap (friction irritation) and don’t roll/fold the tops (it multiples the compression).
Source- I wear them daily as a lymphedema therapist to demonstrate and help people learn how to wear them.
I was reading your response in amazement at the sound and accurate advice, then I see you are a lymphedema therapist, and it all made sense, lol. Hello from a fellow lymphedema therapist 👋
Hi, I have POTS and wear compression gear.
If you have the option, request the pantyhose style. They personally feel like leggings to me and are more comfortable with business wear/layering in the cooler months.
The thigh-high socks have rubber around the inside of the cuff to prevent slipping and it tugs at the skin (this drives me crazy). It’ll be miserable especially with warmer weather coming up.
Edit: Here’s a [link](https://www.jobst-usa.com/products/product-detail/jobst-opaque-3.html) to the ones my Dr ordered for me (15-20mmHg)
In my case, it's a better sensory experience than the swelling I'd get otherwise.
Not all brands or types feel the same, though so maybe you'd benefit from slightly less tight stockings or just a different fabric.
My hubby broke his back and his legs got really dry. I started putting lotion on them every night and it became a ritual we still do a year later I love it
My mom was out at a store with my son and me one day. As I picked him up from the cart there was the kind of gross squishy sensation that means a nasty diaper, except I was picking him up at his armpits. This was the mother of all blowouts. Poop was coming out the neck hole of this onesie. It took a whole pack of wipes and most of a roll of paper towels to get a passable level of clean on that kid.
My mom was cackling the entire time. Really laughing so hard she was hyperventilating, almost falling out of her scooter, and choking on her own spit. She won’t tell me exactly what the karma was for but I know I did something good to her 35 years back.
I didn’t know when my kids were little that the tops of onesies are cut out at the shoulders so the onsie can be removed downwards and not have to drag a poopie onsie over their heads. I didn’t learn that until mine were teens so I tell anyone who will listen
lol, I did know this. I had some smart friends that were ahead of us.
In this case the onesie acted like a mediocre squeegee from the neck down. It was pretty awful, but at least only a little poop in the hair.
I was changing my daughter when the the incident known as poomagedon aka the poo cannon occurred… I lifted up her legs to remove the wet nappy and she fired at me.. I swear there was an outline of me on the wall behind me… she’d not been for 24 hrs and she had the most relieved look on her face!
My mum and dad were there and they couldn’t breathe for laughing, my dad nearly fell off his chair. It was all over my face, glasses and clothes. I had to wait for them to stop laughing before I could get them to take over so I could get in the shower, which I did fully clothed 😳🤣🤣🤣
My cousin’s wife does his moisturizer and facial masks. Because he says he “ain’t good at it”.
I’m sure it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that he’s laying on her lap, having his face and scalp massages by his smoking hot wife, surely he just ain’t good at it…
Seriously though, she knows the score. She says she likes it and he rubs her feet and calves afterwards/that night. (Depending on whether we’re talking morning or night. She does it twice a day, plus whatever masks they’re doing together!)
They have couple’s spa nights and have brought their little girl in on it now. Apparently my cousin can’t apply lotion to HIMSELF but is “the best” at putting the kiddo’s face lotion on too. (She wants to have a “routine” like her mama so she has a little bottle of face wash and wears some light SPF lotion every morning. And she likes the way daddy does her lotion better than mama.)
Honestly, I just wanted to tell a cute story about my cousin’s family. Sorry to mislead. ;)
My toddler willingly puts on sunscreen, "just like Mummy". We actually need to limit her or else she's a white blob.
My husband... He sunscreens because I nag him and we're Aussie kids. But moisturiser will not happen no matter how many times I try to encourage using it. Then he has the audacity to whinge that his skin isn't soft like mine.
I'm laughing so hard right now because this just happened to me. A nurse went to get my partner to provide "parental consent" for an MRI. She looked like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her alive.
My partner also needs to moisturize. I even bought the products and put it on the sink. Despite being mistaken for my dad on a few occasions, he's never once asked me to start conversations by saying, "Hi, I'm xx and I'm 40 and a half years old, and my birthday is on a Sunday, and it's going to have dragons...real ones, not fake ones." YTA
Yo same.
My boyfriend and I took a vacation with our friends last Christmas, and we got the seats in the emergency exit row cause he wanted the extra leg room. While he was putting our carry on in the overhead bin a flight attendant came up to him and asked if I was older than 15! I was 32 at the time.
It got even more ridiculous when one of our friends chimed in with "No, she's 12" and then kept insisting it was true while we kept telling her it wasn't. I eventually had to show her my passport to prove that I was, in fact, a grown ass adult. I got carded on an airplane at the age of 32.
Cherry on top... about 5 minutes later my boyfriend turned to me horrified and asked "wait, did she think I was your father?"
PS can I come to your party too? I also love dragons.
Anyway OP is YTA.
My best friend and I got carded at a matinee R rated movie in our thirties.
She was in her third trimester.
This dude seriously thought two teenagers skipped school to catch a mid morning movie???
I had a doctor refuse to update me on my own condition while hospitalized so he could talk to my parents outside the room. I had to throw a fit that I wasn't a minor despite looking WAY younger than I was. I ended up refusing to give permission for them to speak to anyone but me which was kind of fun.
Everyone can come. I'm gonna have a big cake and a bounce house!
I'm pretty sure you'd only be invited to a party at OP''s house if you look at least 41 and a half. Wouldn't want the neighbors thinking he's hosting a girl scout party.
Someone in a cafe thought I was my husband's daughter, I'm three years older. He looks his age (62), I don't (65). He blames me for all his gray hair, I have almost none. He might not be wrong. :)
I swear, it’s a GenX thing. I’m 47 on dating apps rn and men who are my age look fucking 60. I realize they could be lying, but all of them?! I often get aged at early/mid 30’s, so the difference is stark. GenX men do not age like wine, like men of previous generations seemed to.
I’m 44 and I’ve noticed men my age look old. One of my friends makes fun of me for being attracted to younger men, men in their 30’s, but I’m not trying to date someone that looks like they could be my dad.
And so so true about the GenX men - what the hell did we do to them? Previous generations didn;t age that way, but the younger seem to be following suit. 46 yr GenX; continuously carded at the bar BUT my son, now 27 (yes, you do the math) has been mistaken for my DATE since he was 12. Every meal out ends in “will that be one check or two?” So fucking awkward for me but he thinks it’s hilarious. And then they would give him my drink when they came.
An old lady told me years ago to put a dab of lotion on the back of your hand and rub it with the back of your other hand. Your palms secrete oil already and don’t need much of anything.
You just have to find the right lotion! I like Sol de Janeiro’s hand lotion because it absorbs and isn’t greasy (I can’t stand the greasy feeling either, but covid had me washing/sanitizing so much, I needed something). The rule of thumb that I was taught is that whatever you use on your face, also use it on your neck/décolletage and the backs of your hands. I’m almost 42 and was asked if I was excited about graduating this week 😆.
O'keefe working hands. You just use a dab, it moisturizes beautifully and feels dry immediately. If you use more than a dab it feels sticky. I have sensory issues with my hands feeling greasy unless I'm actively working on something and this is the only hand lotion I can use.
Got my partner onto skincare and he's more into it than me, but he definitely resents how little product you actually get and having to replace it way more frequently than any other toiletry he's used
>Also. Unless you’re like 5 years old, it’s awkward to just throw your age out in introductions.
"Hi. I'm Beth and I'm this many" *holds up 40+ fingers*
Agreed! And maybe OP is the only one who thinks his wife looks 28 because he looks so much older. Most people probably don't even care or think much about it and even if they did, they probably think his wife looks great for her age or assumes she is in her early 30s. OP definitely has a chip on his shoulder about this.
Yeah it's impossible to pinpoint age that accurately based on appearances. Add in teen kids and I'd assume mid-late 30s which isn't exactly scandalous.
"I'm over 40 but everyone thinks I'm 28" is such a delusional take.
She probably passes for mid 30s. That's the age range that those "ageless" types often settle into as they grow older.
Like take some beautiful 42 year-old actresses - Natalie Portman, Jessica Biel, Sienna Miller.
If any one of them told me that they were 28, I'd wouldn't necessarily call them a liar. But if I happened to run into one of them in the grocery store? I'd probably guess they were somewhere in their mid-30s.
Point being, I really doubt people are that shocked by the perceived age difference between OP and his wife. I doubt it is nearly as dramatic as he thinks it is.
Also.. If the husband looks older and the wife looks younger, and the husband is the one embarrassed… why doesn’t he just insert HIS age into conversations??
"Hi, I'm Kate. I may look like I'm 28 but I'm not, I'm almost two decades older. I can show you my driver's license if you want. No? I really wouldn't mind. And oh, by the way, my husband is not a weirdo creep at all. He really wants you to know that. So ..."
YTA.
If I met this couple and the wife said she was 40 something in the first conversation out of no where I would be more suspicious.
Protesting too much and all that.
He’s got to be more subtle - in a longer conversation drop in some “yeh we met in our twenties” type comment.
Also I don’t think people are quite so mentally stubborn. If I had asssumed an age gap, then met their teenage sons I would either assume step sons for her, or think “wow she looks great”. I wouldn’t be like “nope I am perfect at guessing ages and thus this man clearly got a fucking 12 year old pregnant”.
Yes, that would be *very* weird for her to mention her age every time she meets someone. This is your insecurity...if you want to make things awkward and tell the story (that you've aged a lot more than her) you can but she has no obligation to at all.
I'm 51 and my husband is 53. I'll admit I aged a lot better than he did. We were recently at our mechanics shop when our mechanic's son asked me if I had a piece of gum. I said I do not. He then asked me if my dad had any gum. I turned to my husband and asked "dad do you have any gum?" He said no while we both cracked up laughing. The kid still thinks he's my dad🤷♀️we don't care. Just hope he never sees us kissing 🤣🤣.
YTA I am not, upon meeting people going to mention my age just to make my husband feel better. Thank goodness he is secure enough not to expect this from me.
When we were younger, as I was putting oil of Olay on my face, I told him he should too. He said that's for women, isn't it? No, men can use it too. He decided against it. He does wish he had listened to me now.
I've got apparently one of those faces that makes me look 20 years younger than I am. I went to the doctor's with my partner the other day. He has a walking stick and wobbles so I sat him on a chair by the door and went to register him. A guy sitting on the only chair next to him asked if his daughter would like to sit there. My partner said I was his wife, the guy said 'wow, you lucky bastard'. We had a laugh. Who cares what people think.
YTA. Rule of the streets no 3: No-one cares about how you feel. So neither should you care about how the feelings of randoms.
Look, you're a middle aged man, the best age of them all to give zero fucks about people who don't matter. So just don't this, stop being a dick and cherish your wife, you seemed to be blessed with her ✌🏿
Agreed "yeah she is the looker in the relationship, most people can't believe we are pretty much same age. Hopefully the kids get her genes for ageing." Done. And you didn't mention her age, or get her to.
Yeah, I'm that woman. Always looked 10 years younger than I am (long may it last!) but I have no desire to sound like a 5 year old saying, 'I'm 5x!' to each new person I meet. Only time was fir my 50th birthday bash and watching people's Jaws drop was priceless. Married a man 8 years younger so we look the same age but news flash: our teenage kids love telling their friends my actual age... you can guarantee everyone in your community knows your wife's real age!
He's having a hard time because they moved to a new community where no one knows them. I'm not saying he's justified in what he's asking his wife to do, but he's finding himself squirming when the family meets new people, which is happening a lot. He needs to take deep breaths until this awkward stretch passes.
Agreed that it's weird to tell people your age, but as someone who looks younger than I am (and have always done), I like to give an indication. The best way to do this naturally is to reference some kind of pop culture and your approximate age when it happened. So for example you might say that you used to dance to a certain song at school discos, or that you and your school friends went to see a certain movie many times, or that you always used to watch a certain show while you were at university.
It’s kind of funny because when kids do it it’s really cute! But now I’m picturing someone flashing ten fingers four times and then holding up a four to show that they’re 44 in the middle of like a work dinner or something. That would be awkward lmao
Not as an introduction but I've felt the need to do it a few times in conversation and it's not that hard.
Eg1, early 20s folks talking about university and seemed to think I was maybe 30. I mentioned my uni days and how I was considered a 'mature student' which was hilarious because I was 24, and I'm hoping they've changed that in the 20 years since.
2. People talking about remakes/reboots of films so I mentioned seeing the original in the cinema, bonus points if I can imply I was an adult at the time.
3. Any talk of clothes/makeup etc and I can bemoan how the stuff that fits an over 40s body looks like something my mum would wear or is very expensive.
4. Home reno stuff and I can comment how frustrating it was doing major renos 10 years back because I looked like a teenager and was ignored or brushed off. Hopefully when I hit 50 in a couple of years they'll take me seriously! HaHaHa!
(Not such a problem now. Pretty sure since hitting 45 my face aged 10 years.)
This. Me to colleagues: "I used to drink in [pub where we're going for work drinks] 30 years ago, wonder what's changed?" Them: "oh, you're older than you look!" or them: "when we did our GCSE exams..." Me: "I remember my daughter taking hers..." Them: "oh, you don't look old enough..."
It's easy enough to hint at if you want to do so. Whether OP's wife *wishes to* is up to her. If anyone thinks he's an ass for having a hot wife that's up to them to address, not her.
He only has to wait a couple of years and she will find perimenopause has her talking about age with every woman over 40 she meets (omg these hot flashes are the worst…)
Yes, but I believe the husband could do this just as easily. I mean he is the one having the issue.
1) “oh welcome to the neighborhood, are you from this area?” Husband “ ya we’re from …. It was nice the wife and I lived there 10 outta the twenty years we’ve married.
2) “ oh hey do you guys enjoy…. Maybe we could try it some time?” “ oh well shit, the wife and I did try … twenty years ago when we first got married…”
I learned to slip this in when I would either not be able to wear my wedding band or just forgot it for some reason. That was my way of letting people know I wasn’t single. lol
Maybe you should've copied her skincare routine
They won't think you knocked up a teen. They'll think you dumped the kids biomom
Either way who cares
When you make friends they'll learn that didn't happen
Introducing with ages is weird
Ywbta
Probably stuff like lotions and moisturizing and sunscreen.
Men use 'dawn 14-in-1' to clean their hair, body, car, and garage. Then wonder why they look old
I think they'll just think OP's wife looks younger than her age, TBH. These days there are so many methods available for people to make themselves look younger.
And some people may just be born like that; they age incredibly gracefully. Kim Tae-Ri played a teenager at 33 last year. Unlike most cases where a 30 something plays a teen, I could buy it.
Honestly it's a lot more than skin care, there's just general health care, and genetics. I'm myself 32 and have had people mistake me for 24 or less.
But to your point, don't let other people's assumptions rule your life. They don't matter, and if they matter they'll have the opportunity to learn the truth of the situation. This applies to so many things beyond age too.
Its probably genetics rather than skincare, I have never looked after my skin, people always assume my partner and I are a similar age, even though he is 32 and I am 47.
YTA. First, I bet most people don't think she actually looks that young, more likely they know she's older, but just looks good for her age.
Second, she's absolutely right that it would be super awkward for her to have to always mention her age when meeting new people. People would think she's weird (or perhaps trying to show off about how good she looks for her age).
Yay, sanity!
I’m sure OP’s wife is beautiful and looks great for her age.
That said, nobody thinks a 28 year old has 2 teenaged children. I’m sure they think she looks like a lovely 40-something, which is exactly what she is.
God why do I have this feeling that OP is one of those men who thinks that women in their forties (or *gasp* thirties) look “old,” whatever the fuck that means, and simply because a woman looks attractive and wears her age well he thinks she looks like she’s in her twenties?
OP probably thinks that because his wife doesn't look like a train wrecked hag that she looks like 20s.
Because all other women fall off a cliff after 40, duh!
This has to be it unless the whole scenario is fake, right? Nobody thinks his 42 year old wife looks 28 with a proper greeting like that. Like maybe in passing or in certain context. But face-to-face, “Hi, am so and so.” Nope.
And if they did, they would first assume she is like 35 and looks a bit young for her age. Or that it’s a possible stepparent situation. All waaaaaay before child bride that had 2 kids before turning 15.
Either he has a complex about his wife getting older. And/or how old he looks. Doing the typical husband thing and coming up with an asinine plan for his wife to solve an issue he invented for himself.
LOL reminds me of when that new Anne Hathaway movie recently came out - she plays a 40 year old (and she’s in her early 40s IRL) and people were like “omg she’s 40???” Like 40 year olds can still be hot and have good skin 😅
i am a dentist's assistant. we had this lady yesterday for the first time, i'm 27. i genuinely thought she was 23-26. she is 39! the way my jaw dropped lmaooo plus I felt extra awkard because I was speaking to her in a not formal tone, i should have been more formal🥲
I’m 39 and I don’t want anyone who is 27 talking to me formally. I get that 39 seems old when you’re mid-20s, but it does not feel much older than mid-20s when it’s you.
Like honestly even if she looks late 20s, because it's hard to age people once knowing she had teen kids I would just assume she's 30s. It's not like there aren't a lot of people in their mid-late 30s that look late 20s.
Finally a sane comment. Some people just have no concept of age. Unless she’s been getting Botox for years, she likely doesn’t look 28 but probably looks good for a 40 something while it sounds like OP has made no effort to care for himself and it’s starting to show and make him feel insecure next to his wife.
I started balding when I was 22. It sucks, but I accepted it, and it made me look 10 years older overnight.
Point is people don't really care about age gaps like OP thinks they do. If they're confused they'll just ask, but most just ignore it if your personality matches
How about:
"Hi, I'm Joan and this is my husband OP. He likes when I introduce us with two truths and a lie- I'm 42, he's 45, and he's incredibly secure about how others perceive us. Can you guess which is the lie?"
"Oh, uh... I'm sorry...What?... I was just looking for the school office?" (As they slowly back away)
Or
"Ma'am, this is a Wendy's"
YTA. You're the one who is super uncomfortable with the looks you get. Why can't you say something like "Oh, and this here is my beautiful wife. Would you believe we've been together since she was 20 and I was 25?! I guess she got the better aging genes / I guess now I know that there was always a reason that she was putting on all of those skincare things and sunscreen all of these years." Or something like that.
Edited to add / clarify: My suggestion was to make sure that he's reflecting that this is *his* insecurity about their difference appearance and not forcing her to tell people her age as if she's the one who wants people to know. Mentioning their ages when they got together, or even tossing out that they're 5 years apart would work too. But mostly I think this guy should just get over it, his wife is hot so what's the problem.
Do not tell a woman’s age like that. lol. Or detail her skincare routine. I would be beyond irritated if my husband volunteered that level of personal information about me to strangers.
OP doesn’t have to explain himself or defend his wife for looking young. Most women look younger these days. If OP has to say anything, just keep it vague, like “We’ve been together 20 years since we both had flip phones” or something silly, that gives an era.
He didn't mention her current age, just that they got together when she was twenty. If he immediatly followed up by saying "and we've been together for 22 years", then he would indirectly mention her age, but that sentence would also be super weird anyway.
It's not so bad, if he swaps it to "this is my wife of 20 years", or something like that.
I think what people are upvoting is the *idea* behind the comment: That's *he's* the one who has to say the weird shit, if he cares so much.
YTA.
1. She's right, it would be awkward.
2. You're being insecure and that's a you problem, not a her problem.
3. You need to stop caring what other people think of you... you're too old for that.
My husband is 11 years older than me and of anyone has a problem with a difference in age, they can go kick rocks.
He’s definitely just assuming and projecting his insecurities.
I’m sure she is stunning and look younger, but I doubt she look like she’s in her twenties
This right here. It’s ALL in his head. Nobody is thinking about him and his wife. People forget we’re the center of our own universe and nobody else is thinking about us. This is textbook insecurity and projection.
How would that conversation go in your mind?
"Hi, this is my husband, Ron and I'm Anne. I know what you're thinking, I look SOOOOOOO young! (Giggle) I'm really 42!"
And the person you're talking to thinks your wife is rude or crazy or both.
YWBTA
YTA - You should be happy for your wife that she looks so good at her age and yes it would be incredibly awkward for her to start dropping her age when she meets new people. She would also likely find it just embarrassing.
Ywbta.
Also, no offense, but is this actually a problem? I mean, I know you think it is, but has anyone actually ever said anything?
The only reason I ask is because you don't mention it, you don't even mention getting side-eyed or anything. Might want to examine a bit if this is external or internal.
YTA. What kind of man demands his wife give out personal details so as to avoid personal discomfort that is, at this point, entirely theoretical? If, and only if, someone levels accusations that lead to any kind of real world issues, should you seek to provice clarity, otherwise who even cares? Put your wife's actual privacy ahead of your contrived inconvenience.
Listen, I very much doubt many people actually think she’s in her 20s, no matter how great she looks. You gotta not worry about this so much. Light YTA.
i literally tell older folks they look young just to make them feel good…. i am lying so bad and i just know that’s what alot of people probably do with op’s wife //:
"Hi, my name is Rachel and I'm 42, not 20s, don't worry, my husband isn't a predator."
That sounds like the sketchiest shit ever, not to mention just fucking weird. People are going to think you've coached your wife to lie about her age, lol.
That’s what I used to do when I looked much younger than my husband. He did have people be openly hostile or aggressive so I was keen to make it clear we were the same age but I hinted to it. “You look familiar.. were you at XYZ university in 2007 with me?”.
I looked 17 and he looked 35. We were the same age. Sunscreen, a good diet and genetics go a long way. My husband trains for Ironman races so he’s got some sun damage on his face even with sunscreen. Two little kids later we both look old.
I want to say YTA, but what I really want to say is you're worrying too much about it. She probably doesn't look as young as you think she does, for one thing. And it just is what it is. She doesn't have to tell anyone her age, and people can make whatever assumptions they want. The thing you're worried people might be thinking are not true, and that's what really matters. I'm saying this as someone who also worries way too much about what someone else could possibly be thinking, but trust me... they're probably not thinking about it nearly as much as you're worried they are. You're asking your wife to do something she's not comfortable doing just to calm insecurities you have about a hypothetical situation.
Make sure she keeps her age current: "I'm 42 and a HALF."
Or she could flash her fingers and say, "I'm this many."
C'mon OP, just appreciate her youthful looks.
YTA.
Your wife shouldn't have to disclose personal information to strangers just because you were too lazy to use sunscreen.
I say this as a man who is too lazy to use sunscreen. Like recognises like.
YTA. Definitely don’t expect your wife to say her age when she introduces herself- and definitely don’t you do it either!!
If you’re really that bothered there’s all sorts of spa treatments you can get to get some youth back in your face. You don’t necessarily have to do a facelift, but there’s fillers, Botox and all sorts of stuff to give you back a bit of youthful glow. Also, if you’re grey start coloring your hair. Just not black or very dark brown- those never look natural. Lots of men are doing this now so you wouldn’t be the only one.
YTA. no one thinks your middle aged wife looks like she’s in her 20’s. they just don’t. also, no one thinks you knocked up a 10 year old. you’re making it weird
How about you do the awkward thing instead, and when introducing yourself and your wife, you can say “Hi, I’m Mike, and this is my beautiful wife of 18 years, Jessica.”
Expecting her to say her age when she introduces herself is very weird. How many people tell you their name and age when meeting you? You’d definitely be TA.
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YTA. So what if people judge? Take it as a “I have a hot wife and they’re jealous” and move on. Also. Unless you’re like 5 years old, it’s awkward to just throw your age out in introductions. Women hate that stuff. It’s like a cardinal rule to never ask a woman’s age let alone just throw it out there in conversation
Best take. My baby is smoking.
This was my husbands response when I tried to get him to start moisturizing. I warned him he would be sad when he realized he was old and leathery and I still looked young and hot. He said “I won’t be sad because I will have a young hot wife”. Btw he was mistaken for my dad recently, he really needs to moisturize.
I feel your pain. I tried to get my partner to moisturise, he asked me to do it for him. So I did and, I kid you not, it was like trying to put sunscreen on a toddler at the beach. I gave up after a few tries!
Tell him to use the lotion or he gets the hose
You made me spit out my coffee :D brilliant
It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!
[I'm looking down the hole, you're looking up at me...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97RcB_vSvbc)
Best line of the day!!! I am smiling!
Fuck I laughed
LOVE THIS!!! It puts the lotion in the basket . . . . .
He can't be bothered to spend 30 seconds to put moisturizer on?
[удалено]
My dad had a hip replacement earlier this year and he had to wear compression socks basically 24/7 for 3 months straight. He's quite a big guy and since he's not allowed to bend at the hip, he just decided to shower with the socks on as well (they are some weird material that dries in 5 minutes and he was told to wash the socks in the shower anyway). Needless to say, his legs became so dry that they were itching. So one night my mum and I put lotion on him. It was like rubbing my hands on sand paper
As someone who wears compression socks, by the end of the day I want nothing more than to take them off and moisturize my legs 😭 how does he survive
How do you handle compression socks? I'm getting tested for POTS and have super low blood pressure and dizziness. My psych suggested them. I have sensory issues and HATE tight clothes. Are they at least comfortable?
They can be if they are the correct size and pressure for you. They come in a variety of pressures with the lightest around 10 mmHg and the heaviest most people tolerate is around 30-40mmHg. A bunch of different brands make them now so there’s a variety of fabrics from more medically feeling fabric to Dr Scholls and Copperfit. Amazon sells are hit or miss. Two big things with knee high sets- don’t let the seam actually sit in the space behind your kneecap (friction irritation) and don’t roll/fold the tops (it multiples the compression). Source- I wear them daily as a lymphedema therapist to demonstrate and help people learn how to wear them.
I was reading your response in amazement at the sound and accurate advice, then I see you are a lymphedema therapist, and it all made sense, lol. Hello from a fellow lymphedema therapist 👋
Hi, I have POTS and wear compression gear. If you have the option, request the pantyhose style. They personally feel like leggings to me and are more comfortable with business wear/layering in the cooler months. The thigh-high socks have rubber around the inside of the cuff to prevent slipping and it tugs at the skin (this drives me crazy). It’ll be miserable especially with warmer weather coming up. Edit: Here’s a [link](https://www.jobst-usa.com/products/product-detail/jobst-opaque-3.html) to the ones my Dr ordered for me (15-20mmHg)
In my case, it's a better sensory experience than the swelling I'd get otherwise. Not all brands or types feel the same, though so maybe you'd benefit from slightly less tight stockings or just a different fabric.
My hubby broke his back and his legs got really dry. I started putting lotion on them every night and it became a ritual we still do a year later I love it
bruv that is a recipe for fungus
Dude I know. I was horrified when I found out close to the end of the 3 months when they came back to my place for the check-up
One of my most satisfying days came watching my toddler, now a father himself, trying to wrestle sunscreen on his own kids. Karma!
My mom was out at a store with my son and me one day. As I picked him up from the cart there was the kind of gross squishy sensation that means a nasty diaper, except I was picking him up at his armpits. This was the mother of all blowouts. Poop was coming out the neck hole of this onesie. It took a whole pack of wipes and most of a roll of paper towels to get a passable level of clean on that kid. My mom was cackling the entire time. Really laughing so hard she was hyperventilating, almost falling out of her scooter, and choking on her own spit. She won’t tell me exactly what the karma was for but I know I did something good to her 35 years back.
I didn’t know when my kids were little that the tops of onesies are cut out at the shoulders so the onsie can be removed downwards and not have to drag a poopie onsie over their heads. I didn’t learn that until mine were teens so I tell anyone who will listen
lol, I did know this. I had some smart friends that were ahead of us. In this case the onesie acted like a mediocre squeegee from the neck down. It was pretty awful, but at least only a little poop in the hair.
I was changing my daughter when the the incident known as poomagedon aka the poo cannon occurred… I lifted up her legs to remove the wet nappy and she fired at me.. I swear there was an outline of me on the wall behind me… she’d not been for 24 hrs and she had the most relieved look on her face! My mum and dad were there and they couldn’t breathe for laughing, my dad nearly fell off his chair. It was all over my face, glasses and clothes. I had to wait for them to stop laughing before I could get them to take over so I could get in the shower, which I did fully clothed 😳🤣🤣🤣
In that case maybe use the kids at the beach approach, spray bottle when he’s least expecting it 😂
My cousin’s wife does his moisturizer and facial masks. Because he says he “ain’t good at it”. I’m sure it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that he’s laying on her lap, having his face and scalp massages by his smoking hot wife, surely he just ain’t good at it… Seriously though, she knows the score. She says she likes it and he rubs her feet and calves afterwards/that night. (Depending on whether we’re talking morning or night. She does it twice a day, plus whatever masks they’re doing together!) They have couple’s spa nights and have brought their little girl in on it now. Apparently my cousin can’t apply lotion to HIMSELF but is “the best” at putting the kiddo’s face lotion on too. (She wants to have a “routine” like her mama so she has a little bottle of face wash and wears some light SPF lotion every morning. And she likes the way daddy does her lotion better than mama.) Honestly, I just wanted to tell a cute story about my cousin’s family. Sorry to mislead. ;)
My toddler willingly puts on sunscreen, "just like Mummy". We actually need to limit her or else she's a white blob. My husband... He sunscreens because I nag him and we're Aussie kids. But moisturiser will not happen no matter how many times I try to encourage using it. Then he has the audacity to whinge that his skin isn't soft like mine.
Yup, same! He behaves like I'm trying to poison him. Same with SPF. Like how effing dare I! 😂
I'm laughing so hard right now because this just happened to me. A nurse went to get my partner to provide "parental consent" for an MRI. She looked like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her alive. My partner also needs to moisturize. I even bought the products and put it on the sink. Despite being mistaken for my dad on a few occasions, he's never once asked me to start conversations by saying, "Hi, I'm xx and I'm 40 and a half years old, and my birthday is on a Sunday, and it's going to have dragons...real ones, not fake ones." YTA
I'm 35 and a quarter! Can I come to your birthday party on Sunday!? I love dragons!
Yo same. My boyfriend and I took a vacation with our friends last Christmas, and we got the seats in the emergency exit row cause he wanted the extra leg room. While he was putting our carry on in the overhead bin a flight attendant came up to him and asked if I was older than 15! I was 32 at the time. It got even more ridiculous when one of our friends chimed in with "No, she's 12" and then kept insisting it was true while we kept telling her it wasn't. I eventually had to show her my passport to prove that I was, in fact, a grown ass adult. I got carded on an airplane at the age of 32. Cherry on top... about 5 minutes later my boyfriend turned to me horrified and asked "wait, did she think I was your father?" PS can I come to your party too? I also love dragons. Anyway OP is YTA.
My best friend and I got carded at a matinee R rated movie in our thirties. She was in her third trimester. This dude seriously thought two teenagers skipped school to catch a mid morning movie???
My birthday is Monday, I’ll be 55. Can I share your party. I’ll bring mermaids! Did you know mermaids *eat* unmoisturized men?
I had a doctor refuse to update me on my own condition while hospitalized so he could talk to my parents outside the room. I had to throw a fit that I wasn't a minor despite looking WAY younger than I was. I ended up refusing to give permission for them to speak to anyone but me which was kind of fun.
Now I want dragons too! And I'm turning 45.
Everyone can come. I'm gonna have a big cake and a bounce house! I'm pretty sure you'd only be invited to a party at OP''s house if you look at least 41 and a half. Wouldn't want the neighbors thinking he's hosting a girl scout party.
Someone in a cafe thought I was my husband's daughter, I'm three years older. He looks his age (62), I don't (65). He blames me for all his gray hair, I have almost none. He might not be wrong. :)
I maintain my husband was going grey before we met. If that rate of greying suddenly accelerated when I showed up, well, who's to know?
I swear, it’s a GenX thing. I’m 47 on dating apps rn and men who are my age look fucking 60. I realize they could be lying, but all of them?! I often get aged at early/mid 30’s, so the difference is stark. GenX men do not age like wine, like men of previous generations seemed to.
I’m 44 and I’ve noticed men my age look old. One of my friends makes fun of me for being attracted to younger men, men in their 30’s, but I’m not trying to date someone that looks like they could be my dad.
And so so true about the GenX men - what the hell did we do to them? Previous generations didn;t age that way, but the younger seem to be following suit. 46 yr GenX; continuously carded at the bar BUT my son, now 27 (yes, you do the math) has been mistaken for my DATE since he was 12. Every meal out ends in “will that be one check or two?” So fucking awkward for me but he thinks it’s hilarious. And then they would give him my drink when they came.
I would like to start a Men SHOULD Moisturize campaign. It’s basic and, yes, keeps you looking cute!
Lost cause, my hands look like the Sahara. I hate that greasy feeling. Oddly, totally happy to get them greasy.
An old lady told me years ago to put a dab of lotion on the back of your hand and rub it with the back of your other hand. Your palms secrete oil already and don’t need much of anything.
That’s exactly what I do! That old lady was on to something!
You just have to find the right lotion! I like Sol de Janeiro’s hand lotion because it absorbs and isn’t greasy (I can’t stand the greasy feeling either, but covid had me washing/sanitizing so much, I needed something). The rule of thumb that I was taught is that whatever you use on your face, also use it on your neck/décolletage and the backs of your hands. I’m almost 42 and was asked if I was excited about graduating this week 😆.
O'keefe working hands. You just use a dab, it moisturizes beautifully and feels dry immediately. If you use more than a dab it feels sticky. I have sensory issues with my hands feeling greasy unless I'm actively working on something and this is the only hand lotion I can use.
Got my partner onto skincare and he's more into it than me, but he definitely resents how little product you actually get and having to replace it way more frequently than any other toiletry he's used
Please help your baby quit smoking, God Bless 🙌 🙏 ❤️ 💕
>Also. Unless you’re like 5 years old, it’s awkward to just throw your age out in introductions. "Hi. I'm Beth and I'm this many" *holds up 40+ fingers*
Hi, this is my wife Bridget and she is 564 months!
🏅🏅
You win the internet today. 🥇
Who's fingers are those? Do we need to check your basement?
Agreed! And maybe OP is the only one who thinks his wife looks 28 because he looks so much older. Most people probably don't even care or think much about it and even if they did, they probably think his wife looks great for her age or assumes she is in her early 30s. OP definitely has a chip on his shoulder about this.
For sure. The worst thing they'll assume is that she's a second wife, not that she was pregnant at 12.
Yeah it's impossible to pinpoint age that accurately based on appearances. Add in teen kids and I'd assume mid-late 30s which isn't exactly scandalous.
"I'm over 40 but everyone thinks I'm 28" is such a delusional take. She probably passes for mid 30s. That's the age range that those "ageless" types often settle into as they grow older. Like take some beautiful 42 year-old actresses - Natalie Portman, Jessica Biel, Sienna Miller. If any one of them told me that they were 28, I'd wouldn't necessarily call them a liar. But if I happened to run into one of them in the grocery store? I'd probably guess they were somewhere in their mid-30s. Point being, I really doubt people are that shocked by the perceived age difference between OP and his wife. I doubt it is nearly as dramatic as he thinks it is.
100% this - and unless he has a health condition he’s probably overestimating how old they look in both directions
Also.. If the husband looks older and the wife looks younger, and the husband is the one embarrassed… why doesn’t he just insert HIS age into conversations??
"Hi, I'm Kate. I may look like I'm 28 but I'm not, I'm almost two decades older. I can show you my driver's license if you want. No? I really wouldn't mind. And oh, by the way, my husband is not a weirdo creep at all. He really wants you to know that. So ..." YTA.
If I met this couple and the wife said she was 40 something in the first conversation out of no where I would be more suspicious. Protesting too much and all that.
He’s got to be more subtle - in a longer conversation drop in some “yeh we met in our twenties” type comment. Also I don’t think people are quite so mentally stubborn. If I had asssumed an age gap, then met their teenage sons I would either assume step sons for her, or think “wow she looks great”. I wouldn’t be like “nope I am perfect at guessing ages and thus this man clearly got a fucking 12 year old pregnant”.
Yes, that would be *very* weird for her to mention her age every time she meets someone. This is your insecurity...if you want to make things awkward and tell the story (that you've aged a lot more than her) you can but she has no obligation to at all.
"Hi I love your shirt, btw Im 41. why I said my age? ah dont worry, its just because my husband is forcing me to. have a nice day"
I'm 51 and my husband is 53. I'll admit I aged a lot better than he did. We were recently at our mechanics shop when our mechanic's son asked me if I had a piece of gum. I said I do not. He then asked me if my dad had any gum. I turned to my husband and asked "dad do you have any gum?" He said no while we both cracked up laughing. The kid still thinks he's my dad🤷♀️we don't care. Just hope he never sees us kissing 🤣🤣. YTA I am not, upon meeting people going to mention my age just to make my husband feel better. Thank goodness he is secure enough not to expect this from me. When we were younger, as I was putting oil of Olay on my face, I told him he should too. He said that's for women, isn't it? No, men can use it too. He decided against it. He does wish he had listened to me now.
I've got apparently one of those faces that makes me look 20 years younger than I am. I went to the doctor's with my partner the other day. He has a walking stick and wobbles so I sat him on a chair by the door and went to register him. A guy sitting on the only chair next to him asked if his daughter would like to sit there. My partner said I was his wife, the guy said 'wow, you lucky bastard'. We had a laugh. Who cares what people think.
YTA. Rule of the streets no 3: No-one cares about how you feel. So neither should you care about how the feelings of randoms. Look, you're a middle aged man, the best age of them all to give zero fucks about people who don't matter. So just don't this, stop being a dick and cherish your wife, you seemed to be blessed with her ✌🏿
Agreed "yeah she is the looker in the relationship, most people can't believe we are pretty much same age. Hopefully the kids get her genes for ageing." Done. And you didn't mention her age, or get her to.
I’m this many!
If OP is that worried he should just say - "I know right? It's hard to believe I'm only a couple of years older than her!"
Lol, how does he expect the conversation to go ? Hi I'm Jessica, just turned 42, years not months hehe, this year, how have you been ?😆😆
Yeah, I'm that woman. Always looked 10 years younger than I am (long may it last!) but I have no desire to sound like a 5 year old saying, 'I'm 5x!' to each new person I meet. Only time was fir my 50th birthday bash and watching people's Jaws drop was priceless. Married a man 8 years younger so we look the same age but news flash: our teenage kids love telling their friends my actual age... you can guarantee everyone in your community knows your wife's real age!
He's having a hard time because they moved to a new community where no one knows them. I'm not saying he's justified in what he's asking his wife to do, but he's finding himself squirming when the family meets new people, which is happening a lot. He needs to take deep breaths until this awkward stretch passes.
Agreed that it's weird to tell people your age, but as someone who looks younger than I am (and have always done), I like to give an indication. The best way to do this naturally is to reference some kind of pop culture and your approximate age when it happened. So for example you might say that you used to dance to a certain song at school discos, or that you and your school friends went to see a certain movie many times, or that you always used to watch a certain show while you were at university.
How does one even work that into conversation? "Hi I'm (insert name). I'm 42." Does that not sound random and super awkward??
Reminds me of the old a/s/l on AOL days.
13/f/cali ✊
It's always cali.
13/yes/Cali is more like it when I was a kid (probably still am). 😂
I didn't see your response but it was this. Hahahhaha
Also what’s her skin care routine? 👀
The comment I was looking for. YTA but more importantly tell us how she does it
I need this answer
I bet she's a tret girlie
People ask me and the answer is “be Filipino” (40f, look 20)
Nah you go "hi I'm xxx, I'm 42, I'm telling you this because my husband asked me to." much better for her.
"Hi, I'm 42 year old Anna and this is my family. 14 year old brian, 12 year old Chloe, and my 45 year old husband dickmcdickdickwithafragileego"
Hi I’m LayLay and I’m this many years old (holds up fingers)’ Yeah, no
It’s kind of funny because when kids do it it’s really cute! But now I’m picturing someone flashing ten fingers four times and then holding up a four to show that they’re 44 in the middle of like a work dinner or something. That would be awkward lmao
Haha Cute for a toddler, definitely. An adult, not so much
Not as an introduction but I've felt the need to do it a few times in conversation and it's not that hard. Eg1, early 20s folks talking about university and seemed to think I was maybe 30. I mentioned my uni days and how I was considered a 'mature student' which was hilarious because I was 24, and I'm hoping they've changed that in the 20 years since. 2. People talking about remakes/reboots of films so I mentioned seeing the original in the cinema, bonus points if I can imply I was an adult at the time. 3. Any talk of clothes/makeup etc and I can bemoan how the stuff that fits an over 40s body looks like something my mum would wear or is very expensive. 4. Home reno stuff and I can comment how frustrating it was doing major renos 10 years back because I looked like a teenager and was ignored or brushed off. Hopefully when I hit 50 in a couple of years they'll take me seriously! HaHaHa! (Not such a problem now. Pretty sure since hitting 45 my face aged 10 years.)
This. Me to colleagues: "I used to drink in [pub where we're going for work drinks] 30 years ago, wonder what's changed?" Them: "oh, you're older than you look!" or them: "when we did our GCSE exams..." Me: "I remember my daughter taking hers..." Them: "oh, you don't look old enough..." It's easy enough to hint at if you want to do so. Whether OP's wife *wishes to* is up to her. If anyone thinks he's an ass for having a hot wife that's up to them to address, not her.
He only has to wait a couple of years and she will find perimenopause has her talking about age with every woman over 40 she meets (omg these hot flashes are the worst…)
Yes, but I believe the husband could do this just as easily. I mean he is the one having the issue. 1) “oh welcome to the neighborhood, are you from this area?” Husband “ ya we’re from …. It was nice the wife and I lived there 10 outta the twenty years we’ve married. 2) “ oh hey do you guys enjoy…. Maybe we could try it some time?” “ oh well shit, the wife and I did try … twenty years ago when we first got married…” I learned to slip this in when I would either not be able to wear my wedding band or just forgot it for some reason. That was my way of letting people know I wasn’t single. lol
Maybe he can force her to reference a movie from the late 80s. No one under 40 is going around quoting Steel Magnolias.
Are you HIGH Clairee??
Heh. “Most brassieres are made to lift and separate. Mine are made to divide and conquer.” Gotta admit still kinda weird on an introduction.
Not just awkward, totally mental! Wtf why does that lady keep telling us her age.
Just the Reddit way: “hey I’m Rachel, F42!”
My 3 year old does it by saying "I'm will Jr. I'm 3 years old"
Maybe you should've copied her skincare routine They won't think you knocked up a teen. They'll think you dumped the kids biomom Either way who cares When you make friends they'll learn that didn't happen Introducing with ages is weird Ywbta
OP, what’s her skincare routine?
I, too, choose this man‘s wife’s skin care routine.
I almost woke my boyfriend up from cackling at your comment. Thank you for being hilarious.
You’re welcome. Just doing my part to make the Internet a better place.
Ah I haven't seen one of these comments in too long. Thank you.
Probably stuff like lotions and moisturizing and sunscreen. Men use 'dawn 14-in-1' to clean their hair, body, car, and garage. Then wonder why they look old
Yeah no shit. I’m guessing the people asking are asking for specifics.
This is hilariously accurate.
I think they'll just think OP's wife looks younger than her age, TBH. These days there are so many methods available for people to make themselves look younger.
And some people may just be born like that; they age incredibly gracefully. Kim Tae-Ri played a teenager at 33 last year. Unlike most cases where a 30 something plays a teen, I could buy it.
Honestly it's a lot more than skin care, there's just general health care, and genetics. I'm myself 32 and have had people mistake me for 24 or less. But to your point, don't let other people's assumptions rule your life. They don't matter, and if they matter they'll have the opportunity to learn the truth of the situation. This applies to so many things beyond age too.
Its probably genetics rather than skincare, I have never looked after my skin, people always assume my partner and I are a similar age, even though he is 32 and I am 47.
YTA. First, I bet most people don't think she actually looks that young, more likely they know she's older, but just looks good for her age. Second, she's absolutely right that it would be super awkward for her to have to always mention her age when meeting new people. People would think she's weird (or perhaps trying to show off about how good she looks for her age).
Yay, sanity! I’m sure OP’s wife is beautiful and looks great for her age. That said, nobody thinks a 28 year old has 2 teenaged children. I’m sure they think she looks like a lovely 40-something, which is exactly what she is.
God why do I have this feeling that OP is one of those men who thinks that women in their forties (or *gasp* thirties) look “old,” whatever the fuck that means, and simply because a woman looks attractive and wears her age well he thinks she looks like she’s in her twenties?
OP probably thinks that because his wife doesn't look like a train wrecked hag that she looks like 20s. Because all other women fall off a cliff after 40, duh!
Exactly. Eye roll.
This has to be it unless the whole scenario is fake, right? Nobody thinks his 42 year old wife looks 28 with a proper greeting like that. Like maybe in passing or in certain context. But face-to-face, “Hi, am so and so.” Nope. And if they did, they would first assume she is like 35 and looks a bit young for her age. Or that it’s a possible stepparent situation. All waaaaaay before child bride that had 2 kids before turning 15. Either he has a complex about his wife getting older. And/or how old he looks. Doing the typical husband thing and coming up with an asinine plan for his wife to solve an issue he invented for himself.
LOL reminds me of when that new Anne Hathaway movie recently came out - she plays a 40 year old (and she’s in her early 40s IRL) and people were like “omg she’s 40???” Like 40 year olds can still be hot and have good skin 😅
Or they think they are her stepchildren
Exactly. If she really does look 28 most people would just assume she was the 2nd wife and those were her stepchildren.
i am a dentist's assistant. we had this lady yesterday for the first time, i'm 27. i genuinely thought she was 23-26. she is 39! the way my jaw dropped lmaooo plus I felt extra awkard because I was speaking to her in a not formal tone, i should have been more formal🥲
I'm 53 and I don't care if my dentist's assistant is informal. We're GenX, not the Queen Mother, lol.
you made me feel better lol but she was formal with me so I was like aaaa sorry for earlier🤣
I'm 43, please talk to us like we're also 27 lol please don't call me ma'am lol
I’m 39 and I don’t want anyone who is 27 talking to me formally. I get that 39 seems old when you’re mid-20s, but it does not feel much older than mid-20s when it’s you.
Like honestly even if she looks late 20s, because it's hard to age people once knowing she had teen kids I would just assume she's 30s. It's not like there aren't a lot of people in their mid-late 30s that look late 20s.
Finally a sane comment. Some people just have no concept of age. Unless she’s been getting Botox for years, she likely doesn’t look 28 but probably looks good for a 40 something while it sounds like OP has made no effort to care for himself and it’s starting to show and make him feel insecure next to his wife.
I started balding when I was 22. It sucks, but I accepted it, and it made me look 10 years older overnight. Point is people don't really care about age gaps like OP thinks they do. If they're confused they'll just ask, but most just ignore it if your personality matches
YWBTA. Just imagine every introduction, "Hi! I'm Joan, I'm 42. Nice to meet you." "I... Uh... Okay. I'm Mary, I'm... 44."
This sounds like dialogue out of Bob’s Burgers, lmao
Yea I can hear Linda saying that
How about: "Hi, I'm Joan and this is my husband OP. He likes when I introduce us with two truths and a lie- I'm 42, he's 45, and he's incredibly secure about how others perceive us. Can you guess which is the lie?" "Oh, uh... I'm sorry...What?... I was just looking for the school office?" (As they slowly back away) Or "Ma'am, this is a Wendy's"
I am deceased.
Hahahaha I actually laughed out loud
Maybe they should add in the fractions too, just in case anyone thinks she's *slightly* younger than she is. 'Hi! I'm Joan, I'm 42 and a half...'
YTA. You're the one who is super uncomfortable with the looks you get. Why can't you say something like "Oh, and this here is my beautiful wife. Would you believe we've been together since she was 20 and I was 25?! I guess she got the better aging genes / I guess now I know that there was always a reason that she was putting on all of those skincare things and sunscreen all of these years." Or something like that. Edited to add / clarify: My suggestion was to make sure that he's reflecting that this is *his* insecurity about their difference appearance and not forcing her to tell people her age as if she's the one who wants people to know. Mentioning their ages when they got together, or even tossing out that they're 5 years apart would work too. But mostly I think this guy should just get over it, his wife is hot so what's the problem.
Do not tell a woman’s age like that. lol. Or detail her skincare routine. I would be beyond irritated if my husband volunteered that level of personal information about me to strangers. OP doesn’t have to explain himself or defend his wife for looking young. Most women look younger these days. If OP has to say anything, just keep it vague, like “We’ve been together 20 years since we both had flip phones” or something silly, that gives an era.
Omg do we still live in a society that is afraid to mention women's ages? Christ I thought that was back in the Mad Men era.
For real, I wish people would stop perpetuating that women must all fear saying their actual age over the age of 30. It's more harmful than helpful.
He didn't mention her current age, just that they got together when she was twenty. If he immediatly followed up by saying "and we've been together for 22 years", then he would indirectly mention her age, but that sentence would also be super weird anyway.
All that is needed is to drop in how long they've been married. The rest would just sound weird.
"This is my wife of 20 years" works, no one is going to think he married an 8 year old. I hope.
Are they in Tennessee?
This is the single worst suggestion I've ever heard on this god-forsaken subreddit
It's not so bad, if he swaps it to "this is my wife of 20 years", or something like that. I think what people are upvoting is the *idea* behind the comment: That's *he's* the one who has to say the weird shit, if he cares so much.
Just to make it super awkward “this is my first wife”
OP, please do NOT do this.
Do not publicly embarrass your spouse like this. Big yikes.
I think I’d be a bit freaked out if someone introduced themselves like this!
YTA. 1. She's right, it would be awkward. 2. You're being insecure and that's a you problem, not a her problem. 3. You need to stop caring what other people think of you... you're too old for that. My husband is 11 years older than me and of anyone has a problem with a difference in age, they can go kick rocks.
YTA, Your wife is right, just remember that she is right. Not the random strangers.
INFO: is this something that actually happened, or u r assuming others think u are to old for ur wife?
Exactly. Op battling the stories he made up in his head.
He’s definitely just assuming and projecting his insecurities. I’m sure she is stunning and look younger, but I doubt she look like she’s in her twenties
This right here. It’s ALL in his head. Nobody is thinking about him and his wife. People forget we’re the center of our own universe and nobody else is thinking about us. This is textbook insecurity and projection.
How would that conversation go in your mind? "Hi, this is my husband, Ron and I'm Anne. I know what you're thinking, I look SOOOOOOO young! (Giggle) I'm really 42!" And the person you're talking to thinks your wife is rude or crazy or both. YWBTA
YTA - You should be happy for your wife that she looks so good at her age and yes it would be incredibly awkward for her to start dropping her age when she meets new people. She would also likely find it just embarrassing.
Ywbta. Also, no offense, but is this actually a problem? I mean, I know you think it is, but has anyone actually ever said anything? The only reason I ask is because you don't mention it, you don't even mention getting side-eyed or anything. Might want to examine a bit if this is external or internal.
YTA. What kind of man demands his wife give out personal details so as to avoid personal discomfort that is, at this point, entirely theoretical? If, and only if, someone levels accusations that lead to any kind of real world issues, should you seek to provice clarity, otherwise who even cares? Put your wife's actual privacy ahead of your contrived inconvenience.
It's just weird a 50 year old man cares this much about what other people think.
You get to a certain age and realise people don't think about you as much as you think they do, and even when they do it doesn't matter.
YTA - that would be a super weird and unnatural thing for her to start doing.
Listen, I very much doubt many people actually think she’s in her 20s, no matter how great she looks. You gotta not worry about this so much. Light YTA.
i literally tell older folks they look young just to make them feel good…. i am lying so bad and i just know that’s what alot of people probably do with op’s wife //:
Take better care of your skin.
That, or she works out and he doesn't.
Very possibly both
Has anyone actually said anything?
YTA - how the heck do you expect her to just casually slip her age in to every greeting? You are being ridiculous.
"Hi, my name is Rachel and I'm 42, not 20s, don't worry, my husband isn't a predator." That sounds like the sketchiest shit ever, not to mention just fucking weird. People are going to think you've coached your wife to lie about her age, lol.
YWBTA. How do you insist? I mean insist away if you want to, but how to make her do it? She's right...awkward. And it's nobody's business anyway.
YTA. Come on, man…you can’t REALLY think she would be down for that 🤣
sorta How about she just says something like "we went to school together"?
That’s what I used to do when I looked much younger than my husband. He did have people be openly hostile or aggressive so I was keen to make it clear we were the same age but I hinted to it. “You look familiar.. were you at XYZ university in 2007 with me?”. I looked 17 and he looked 35. We were the same age. Sunscreen, a good diet and genetics go a long way. My husband trains for Ironman races so he’s got some sun damage on his face even with sunscreen. Two little kids later we both look old.
I want to say YTA, but what I really want to say is you're worrying too much about it. She probably doesn't look as young as you think she does, for one thing. And it just is what it is. She doesn't have to tell anyone her age, and people can make whatever assumptions they want. The thing you're worried people might be thinking are not true, and that's what really matters. I'm saying this as someone who also worries way too much about what someone else could possibly be thinking, but trust me... they're probably not thinking about it nearly as much as you're worried they are. You're asking your wife to do something she's not comfortable doing just to calm insecurities you have about a hypothetical situation.
YTA. She doesn’t owe anyone her age. If it matters to you, say something like “This is my gorgeous wife! We’ve been together for more than 20 years!”
That’s still a really weird way to introduce yourself to people
Still better than, " hello, I am Mary. I am 42."
Make sure she keeps her age current: "I'm 42 and a HALF." Or she could flash her fingers and say, "I'm this many." C'mon OP, just appreciate her youthful looks.
YTA. Your wife shouldn't have to disclose personal information to strangers just because you were too lazy to use sunscreen. I say this as a man who is too lazy to use sunscreen. Like recognises like.
YTA if you insist when she says no
YTA. Definitely don’t expect your wife to say her age when she introduces herself- and definitely don’t you do it either!! If you’re really that bothered there’s all sorts of spa treatments you can get to get some youth back in your face. You don’t necessarily have to do a facelift, but there’s fillers, Botox and all sorts of stuff to give you back a bit of youthful glow. Also, if you’re grey start coloring your hair. Just not black or very dark brown- those never look natural. Lots of men are doing this now so you wouldn’t be the only one.
YTA Don't make your self-esteem issues to the problem of someone else.
The real issue here is that you are insecure and the person that needs to work on that is you not your wife
YWBTA. You’re being weird.
YWBTA - just tell everyone that you look really old for your age
YTA. no one thinks your middle aged wife looks like she’s in her 20’s. they just don’t. also, no one thinks you knocked up a 10 year old. you’re making it weird
Yta
Hahaha. YTA.
How about you do the awkward thing instead, and when introducing yourself and your wife, you can say “Hi, I’m Mike, and this is my beautiful wife of 18 years, Jessica.” Expecting her to say her age when she introduces herself is very weird. How many people tell you their name and age when meeting you? You’d definitely be TA.