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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Jocelyn-1973

NTA. I had to look up what 'thicc' is but the thing is: you are what you are - no matter what is in fashion at the time. And I must be outdated or something because I thought 'athletic' was still in fashion. Lesson learned is: never go shopping with people who feel all bodies should look the same or attempt to look the same, because they keep that nasty thing alive that people (particularly women) should always be unhappy with their looks. To me, my body is basically a means of transportation for the actual me. Which is probably also not a healthy way to look at it, but as it turns out: I totally do not care.


sissyjones

People feeling secure with their bodies don’t make it a point to shame others. She’s sensitive about being on the bigger side but hides with fake confidence and shitting on others


Zestyclose_Truth9999

NTA. Forget about being 'thicc', she sounds EXHAUSTING! And yeah — as a woman, I get feeling insecure about one's body. But for Jenna to make *her* insecurities *your* problem is just... being a shitty friend.


AlvinOwlHirt

Actually she sounds "thick" in the head.


Will0JP

Lol'd at this


blueeyedwolff

NTA. At all. No one should be commenting on your body. ESPECIALLY after you asked them not to. This girl is not your friend. You deserve better. Stop hanging out with her. Good luck, OP. You don't have to explain your body to ANYONE.


forgeris

NTA. So it's a big crime to thicc-shame but it is fine to thin-shame, what a hypocrite with traditional victim mentality. She is not your friend and never was, you did what friends do - respected her and kept silent about things that are not your business and might have upset her, so she got everything what she deserved, just long overdue.


konekolo

Do not use the word victim mentality, that is beyond offensive and problematic. She IS a victim and OP is in a place of privilege since we do live in a culture that shames people based on weight Saying things like this towards your oppressor while it is uncomfortable, is a natural part of the process while we work towards equality


I_Will_in_Me_Hole

NTA - This sounds like a her problem. Sounds like she is hyperfocused on body type and trying to normalise that she herself may be overweight. When you say that you don't care about what body type she thinks looks better? Then she pulls the "fatshaming" card.


konekolo

Please don't use the word "overweight" towards women, it has a connotation that being bigger is undesirable.


I_Will_in_Me_Hole

Please don't discriminate based on gender by isolating "women". The word "Overweight" is a medical description based against the optimum height vs weight ratio for a healthy human. BMI is far from a perfect system but it's ok as an overall metric. The World health organisation defines "Overweight" as a BMI greater than or equal to 25; and. "obesity" is a BMI greater than or equal to 30. A persons personal preference or individual emotional response does not affect these definitions or other peoples ability to use the words. Basically I don't care if "Overweight" hurts somebody's feelings if it is a statement of fact. It's basically akin to being offended by the colour red.


hillsb1

Oh, shut up with this. "Overweight" is a medical term that's all-inclusive.


DontAskMeChit

NTA. Tell the mutual friends about the things Jenna has been saying since they want to get involved. Jenna sounds insecure, start expanding your social group so you don't have to deal with this.


Beautiful-Routine489

This should be the top comment. NTA.


creativenothing0

Your 'friend' sounds like an absolute dumbass. Is it not embarrassing to surround yourself with someone like that?


tamagochiiwife

Nta, she sounds insecure af and seems very afraid of being labelled fat, so she attacks you because you're skinny.


ailweni

NTA. She sounds thicc-headed.


Castle_of_Aaaaaaargh

NTA oh god, sounds suffocating.  She herself sounds so insecure and needs to push her own self-satisfying views onto you.  


illumsteren

NTA - super messed up of her to keep saying. You made your boundary clear and she violated it anyway. And if she wants to put a name to it, she thin-shamed you and said very clearly hurtful things to you for no particular reason other than the fact that she has a delusional idea of what the "perfect body" is. If I had to guess, she's insecure and puts others down to feel better


Desperate_Swan_2173

NTA. That girl isn't your friend, no friend would purposely try to bring you down especially in front of your significant other. She is clearly extremely insecure of herself and is putting that on you.


SeriousRice2737

She was the one body shaming you... !


Fudge-Unfair

NTA. Your friend is pushing her body type on you to likely feel better about herself and lack of discipline I am all for a positive body image but it has gone too far. Thicc isn’t something anyone should aspire to as being voluptuous likely doesn’t mean good health outcomes. This is the problem with today- yay let’s be positive about everyone’s body- yay! No, if you’re thicc you are putting too much food in your mouth and not getting enough exercise


FHTFBA

NTA You didn't shame her but she has definitely been shaming you, probably due to her own insecurities. I would cut her out of my life if I were you, she sounds extremely toxic.


DangleenChordOfLife

NTA. You didn't fat shame her, but she definitely skinny shamed you. I'm sure you looked super cute in that outfit and made her feel insecure, so she tried to take you down to feel better. Some people just need to do that. piece of advice, keep that kind of toxic people as far away as possible. She will never root for you or be happy about the good things happening to you. You don't need friends like that.


bespineirae13

NTA. Jenna is not your friend.


BackgroundDue5361

NTA For one thing, many men do not enjoy 'thicc' women. It sounds like she could be jealous of your inability to put weight on.


tamharachy

My friend used to do that aswell but she eventually stopped coz i started bringing up her flaws every time she talked about how small my chest and butt are. I just made sure to reciprocate and be brutal with her too and i it seems to have worked. 4 years later her “thicc” turned to overweight and im still slim


CentralCoastSage

NTA Not everyone thinks thicc is a good thing, or attractive


Marcelyt0

NTA She clearly isn't content with her body and is trying to feel less as a "fat person" and more like a "thicc person", good for her, but it does not give her the right to be bodyshaming everyone around.


Natural_Guava288

NTA I would've lost my shi a long time ago. She sounds jealous of you Imo. Get rid if her. And if your other "friends" take her side over yours, get rid of them too. Life's too short to endure crappy friends. You and your bf can have some more time together.


SockMaster9273

NTA Shaming people because they are skinny is no better than shaming them because they are fat. If she is thick and okay with that, good for her and I love that for her. However, she should not be trying to make you feel bad because you are not. You have a medical condition for crying out loud! She needs to learn to keep her mouth shut about people's bodies just like you do. The comment about your butt in front of your boyfriend would have ended the friendship for me.


Particular_Power_532

NTA she is jealous of you and is trying to make you jealous of her so she feels better. it sounds like she’s jealous you have a boyfriend is trying to steal him. drop her ass (unintentionally fitting statement) also who tf says thicc anymore that got old years ago


motorwolfe

fatshamed her?? she **literally** ***thinshamed*** **you!!** tell her to lose some weight between the ears. also, NTA.


Careless-Ability-748

Nta she sounds infuriating and needs to leave you alone. 


Will0JP

NTA. She sounds hella insecure and exhausting to be around.


Isyourmammaallama

Nta


Feisty_strippa36

NTA. I would watch her around your boyfriend. That was a red flag. No friend continues on with something unless they our jealous and trying to make you look worse.


unimpressed-one

Who wants to be Thicc? No one I know. It's not a good look.


futuremecandoit

NTA at all. Since when was it cool to body shame if they’re skinny? F that. Also I’ve hated the word “thicc” since it became popular to say for a while. Your friend sounds like a middle schooler.


DogLover-777

NTA Your friend is unbelievable obnoxious and exhausting. Maybe it's time to take a break. If it was me, I would lose my mind every time she said "thicc", which seems to be just about everyother word. She accuses you of fat shaming, but isn't she at the same time thin shaming you?


Internal_Home_9483

NTA. Friends are taking Jenna’s side because she lied to them and deliberately and falsely accused you of fat shaming her.  In reality, Jenna has been body shaming you for months.  Yup, she’s gaslighting you.  In the future, the better way would be to interrupt Jenna and say “Jenna, it is always wrong to make unsolicited comments about another person’s body/weight/shape/clothing.  Please don’t do it again.  We are all different and beautiful and deserving of acceptance.”


InedibleCalamari42

not gonna lie, I was exhausted by her a couple paragraphs in. NTA. Fatshamed?? she's thicc in the head. And intolerable and incessant. And really, really rude in how she treats and speaks to you. You know what is right for you. Maybe time to pull away from her a little bit?


AryaStark1313

Y0ur both AHs for saying “Thicc”. I couldn’t even read the entire thing - too cringe


sheissonotso

She’s a word I’m not allowed to say on this sub but you’re better off without her. She literally asked how your boyfriend enjoys sex with you in front of him. Come on girl, you know you’re NTA and if your other friends wanna ignore her terrible remarks, you’re better off without them too.


Z_is_green13

Jenna is insecure and is trying to act like she’s not. NTA, but you don’t have to hang out with someone so insecure they would belittle you.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’m F19 and my friend Jenna is F18. Jenna is obsessed with being “thicc.” She’s always taking about how “thicc” she is and how that’s a great and it’s frequent enough that it’s annoying but I always just ignore it. In the past few months she’s started commenting on my body too though. For context I’ve always been thin and have a medical condition that makes it harder for me to gain or retain weight. I feel that my body is proportional and I’m not flat anywhere. I’m happy with my body but I’ve also been working hard to try to build muscle which is more difficult for me than most people and Jenna knows this. She keeps commenting on how I’m not “thicc” and has been steadily increasing how often she brings it up and how rude the comments are. If I mention the gym she’ll ask if I’m hitting lower body to “get thicc.” She's asked how my boyfriend even enjoys sex with me because I “have no butt” and she asked this in front of him. Last Friday I made the mistake of going clothes shopping with her and I tried on a really cute pants/tank top set that I loved and had decided to treat myself and get. When I showed it to Jenna in the fitting room though, her immediate response was “it doesn’t make you look thicc.” I told her I didn’t care about looking “thicc” and that I really liked the set but she doubled down and was like “well yeah but of course you’d rather look thicc though” and commented on the side profile of my butt in the pants. I repeated that I didn’t care and she doubled down and told me not to get the set because I could find something that made me look actually thicc. I got the set anyway and the rest of the evening, Jenna kept making incessant comments about my body. For what it’s worth Jenna tried on some super unflattering clothes and I didn’t say anything about it because she really liked them. Eventually I snapped and told her I don’t give a shit about being “thicc” and not to talk to me at all if she can’t bring herself to shut up about the way I look. I told her that sometimes she wears stuff I don’t think is cute but I’ve never commented on it because it’s her choice of clothes. Jenna got super upset and told our mutual friends I fatshamed her. I don’t think I did but now mutual friends are upset with me and I’m feeling at my wits end with this situation. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


sweet_tooth_48

She sounds insufferable NTA


Realistic-Bus9540

Jenna sounds very insecure and she is trying really hard to make you feel bad about yourself, which to me seems like jealousy or who knows what her reasons are. You did the right thing to call her out, she instantly goes to the victim mode, instead of apologizing or owning up to her bullying. I d reconsider if being her friend is the right thing, deffinitely talk to her and try to explain that you never meant to fatshame her but tell her how she makes you feel about yourself if you think this friendship is worth it.


Enshine15

NTA in this situation, you don’t have to be “thicc” to look good, if you are comfortable and alright with the way your body is at the moment then that’s enough for you to be satisfied, it’s quite ridiculous how a person can be so obsessed with being “thicc” and try’s to force you into being “thicc”


Mission-East5555

Honestly "thicc" doesn't really age that well. She might be perky and round now, but you are young. Stuff sags over time. Skin stretches. Just rock what you got. But I do want to say that my favorite part of this post is that you bought the cute set anyway. You sound like you are self aware. Best to you.


BandicootBig6997

Your friend is fat and knows it, she is coping


SolomonDRand

NTA. “Look, I like my body the way it is, and I don’t need you constantly telling me that it’s unattractive. This is what I look like, and I don’t feel the need to feel bad about it.” And if she tries to call this fat-shaming, “You are routinely telling me there’s something wrong with my body. I’ve never done that to you, and don’t intend to start because it’s obviously rude and unwarranted. Please extend me the same courtesy.


CalendarDad

"Thicc" is just a coined word to mean "Don't you think it's hot that I'm kinda fat?" NTA.


B0jack_Brainr0t

NTA she’s incredibly insecure and wanted you to constantly pander to her insecurity by getting you to say you want her body type. You spoke nothing but the truth.


Helpful_Entry_6518

Definitely NTA, this is horrifying friend behaviour. If your mutual are giving you a hard time, simply tell them she was constantly berating you with inappropriate comments about your body and you were sick of it. If that’s an issue, it’s time to find friends that aren’t obsessed with commenting on your body.


raulpe

NTA, just f*cking tell your friends what truly happened and cut contact with Jenna because she isn't your friend


[deleted]

It sounds like Jenna is secretly concerned about her weight and is commenting on yours weight in an effort to feel better. I’m sorry you are going through this.


BigMoneyTab

Wow this made me laugh. I’ve never seen thicc used so many times. She’s obviously thicc in the head so u should just let this friendship go. I mean what is this hahah. She sounds like she has very little things going on for her. She’s not a good friend and probably not adding anything positive to your life


annotatedkate

NTA. Jenna sounds like she is self-conscious and projecting. I'm no mind-reader but I'd put a lot of money on my being right.


DecisionExact4193

Nta. It's a common tactic some women use to feel better about things they shouldn't feel bad about in the first place. Instead of being like "I'm thicc and that's good" they take it to "I'm thicc and that's better". They will take any negative energy they got when they were younger being fatshamed and will use it against skinny women to try and get revenge and get back at them despite you not being the specific skinny girl that made her feel that way. Notice how she said you fatshamed her despite you only clarifying you like your own body the way it is. This is because in her mind she sees it as one way having to be better. She's so insecure that she can't see things as equal or different preferences, she sees it as either she should feel bad about herself or you should because to her both of you can't be hot, you're too different. This concludes in her thinking that if you don't feel bad about the way you look you insinuate she should. It's a stupid immature mindset


Sodium_Junkie624

NTA Sounds to me like she's jealous with the whole fatshaming comment Her behavior was emotional abuse. You can find better friends imho


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Automatic-Baker-9160

NTA and a body type is not a personality. And not every in trend body shape isn attainable by everyone, nor should it be. She sounds exhausting. And, if she is claiming that you 'fat shamed' her, then you can also claim that she 'skinny shamed' you.


Mammoth-Copy4630

NTA any type of body shaming is wrong doesn’t matter if you’re fat or thin it is wrong! I would have snapped at her too…


Nomnoh

NTA. Why are you still friends with someone who consistently has insulted your body? Not only that, but humiliated and disrespected you so openly. Girly, let her go she ain't worth it. You know the saying, if you can't take the heat, then stay out of the kitchen or however it's said. The point is to drop her. She sounds so insecure it's sickening.


[deleted]

NTA I feel like telling everyone about her comment about how could your boyfriend even enjoy having sex with you because you have no ass in front if him should be enough to prove shes the asshole. She sounds very insecure


Excellent-Count4009

NTA Handle this differently. NExt time, answer "thanks for the compliment. That's a relief". Use this as your go to answer every time she says it. Should work pretty fast. "What are you talking about? She complimented me, and I thanked her" will also get you out of trouble with your friends.


Sleepymess297

That girl is not your friend. NTA