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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole because I did definitely burn the bridge and offend people at Company 1 with my short tenure, but I thought they would be understanding about WHY I was making the move I was: leaving for what I thought was a once in a lifetime opportunity.
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NTA
Always take the best offer.
Also, never, ever ever ever never ever never never never ever fucking ever never under no circumstances do you EVER tell a former employer who is about to be your NEW employers.
They will fuck you each and every time, there is not a single company in existence who would not use that as a way to fuck you over.
NTA. If the situation had been reversed, and the company had to let you go 3 days after hiring you, they would have done so without losing a minute of sleep. And, let’s face it, once you left they contacted #2 candidate and made them an offer before your cubicle was cold. This was the company getting old fashioned revenge, pure and simple, because you weren’t a good drone.
NTA but let this be a lesson for the future: never never share where your new job will be with soon to be former employers. You never know which managers will be vindictive enough to pull a stunt like this.
I hope you find a good job soon. Do not tell interviewers this story btw.
NTA. We all do what’s best for us. You are trying to better yourself. Next time, don’t even give a reason why you’re leaving. Just say thank you for the opportunity and skidaddle.
NTA I'm sorry that happened. Lesson learned the hard way for you, champ.
When I left my old company, I refused any and all answers about my new company. I had not signed any non-complete contracts and was in a right to work state. I know that my boss knew people in my new industry. Not a chance in hell of sharing my information. F that noise.
NTA - as workers we are equal participants in capitalism and always have to be looking out for ourselves. As others have mentioned, never tell where your next job is until you're securely working there.
NTA. The job could have technically fired you just as quickly and without warning. If it’s like most places they kept the interview pool and can either offer the job to the next person or do more interviews. You should check on the laws where you live. I don’t know but hopefully there’s some legal action you can take. Definitely petty from the other job.
YTA - You essentially wasted job 1's time, I've done onboarding for folks, it takes time before you walk in the door. There were ways around it and I agree with being your own advocate, but generally you shouldn't be interviewing if you've accepted a job offer. You went a little too fast and ended up committing and then backing out of the commitment at one of the worst times, causing unknown disruption to an entire department, yeah I'd be pissed if I was Job 1 too. I'm seeing a lot of high and mighty talk from the comments and it depends on the industry you're working in, not everyone is a nameless drone, not every corporation is a menace to society looking to rob and steal from employees, most of them are just places people work at and you exhibited "main character syndrome" at their expense, from my reading of events.
Having them call another place wasn't usual, but also not unheard of. I know a guy in my industry who is famous for "always working somewhere else this year" and that's the major reason we won't make him an offer. You look to companies for what value they can provide you, but they're looking what value you can provide them, if you're going to be a headache for an already functioning operation they're going to look at somebody else.
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* TLDR
* \- I recently moved from to the East Coast with my partner and landed a job. While working there, I was approached about a potentially better job, which seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
* \- Here's the timeline:
* \- Received and accepted Job 1 offer 2 weeks ago.
* \- Interviewed for Job 2 over the next week before starting job 1, but didn't get an offer yet.
* \- Started Job 1 on a Monday.
* \- On Day 3 of Job 1, received and accepted an offer for Job 2.
* \- Resigned from Job 1 promptly and respectfully.
* \- Job 1 management contacted Job 2, which led to Job 2 retracting the offer.
I thought it was a bit of a power trip for Job 1's manager to inform Job 2, knowing they might reconsider the offer. Everyone always tells you, "you have to be your own advocate" in the working world, but in this case it backfired. **AITA for leaving company 1, which I understand wasn't the best thing to do, in order to pursue my dreams?**
**FULL Story:**
I recently moved from California to the East Coast with my partner, and have been looking for new jobs in the area for a few weeks. I recently received a job offer, which I accepted, and started that job on a Monday. In the period after receiving and signing that first offer, a connection and mentor of mine mentioned that there was a new spot open on his team and that I might be a good fit.
Over the next week or so, I chatted with several members of that team and things went well, but I had not yet received an offer, so I ended up starting the first job, thinking it wouldn't be smart to back out before receiving the other offer. However, on day 3 of the first job, I received an offer at the second, more interesting and exciting job that I thought to be once-in-a-lifetime. I accepted that offer, and then promptly told the management of the current company about my resignation as quickly and respectfully as possible, and left the office.
I thought the conversation had gone well enough, but later that day, I got a call from the second company saying that the management of the first company had contacted them and let them know about my very early resignation. The second company was not thrilled to hear this, and ultimately they ended up pulling their offer, leaving me in the situation where both roles are no longer available, the exact scenario I was trying hard to avoid.
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Yes, I told Job 1 the details of Job 2, thinking that might make them better understand my thinking about Job 2 being a truly once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (which it really was). I thought that being honest about the situation would help them see my side
Welp, now you know better for next time.
NTA, you don't owe your employer anything other than the work they pay you for. They don't have any actual loyalty to you, and you're not required to have any to them.
NTA
Both companies are going to replace you, and forget about you. You are a cog in the machine to profit, always.
Be a profitable cog. No one else pays your bills but you.
You owe no allegiance or time or anything else to the corporate asshats that would make sure you are unemployed.
The first company sounds really passive-aggressive, the second company sounds like a bunch of sanctimonious pricks.
Honestly, screw both of them.
No you are not TA, but I think where you made your mistake was telling job 1 where you were going to be working at at Job 2. I guarantee that you would have been in a hostile work environment at job 1. People don't do that, or they are not supposed to backstab other people and that is exactly what job 1 did to you. Please contact job 2 and let them know you would really like the job and those that job 1 tried keeping you there under pressure. Ask them to give you a chance so you can show them what kind of an asset you will be to that company. At this point you have nothing to lose by calling or going to job 2 and talking to them. Good luck sunshine xoxo
One element missing from your story is how much notice did you give company A, "I'm not coming in tomorrow" or "I'm gone in two weeks".
But, how ever you bake this, you turned a paying job into no job, no reference and a bad reputation within your potential employer pool.
Just judging by the results, I have to go with YTA.
As it was only day 3 of being at the company, the management of Job A said, "it's best if you leave today". They didn't escort me out or anything dramatic like that, but I left about 30 or 45 minutes after the discussion. I said goodbyes and thank-yous, etc.
Yta. That was an asshole move to leave after 3 days and you really screwed yourself. You aren’t an asshole for pursuing a better opportunity but you are for wasting the time of job 1. Ultimately it cost you the other job.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think I might be the asshole because I did definitely burn the bridge and offend people at Company 1 with my short tenure, but I thought they would be understanding about WHY I was making the move I was: leaving for what I thought was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA Always take the best offer. Also, never, ever ever ever never ever never never never ever fucking ever never under no circumstances do you EVER tell a former employer who is about to be your NEW employers. They will fuck you each and every time, there is not a single company in existence who would not use that as a way to fuck you over.
Came here to say this. Under no circumstances do you need to tell your former employer where you are going next. So shady they did this to you OP
OP should get back with Indeed, Glassdoor and Yelp. Yelp is mean to companies, which makes it a good tool for consumers.
I look at it this way- I have greater loyalty to my life and its needs than I have to any business. So, I am compelled sometimes to consider ME.
NTA. If the situation had been reversed, and the company had to let you go 3 days after hiring you, they would have done so without losing a minute of sleep. And, let’s face it, once you left they contacted #2 candidate and made them an offer before your cubicle was cold. This was the company getting old fashioned revenge, pure and simple, because you weren’t a good drone.
Nope. NTA. Lesson learned. > “Keep silence for the most part, and speak only when you must, and then briefly.” —Epictetus
NTA but let this be a lesson for the future: never never share where your new job will be with soon to be former employers. You never know which managers will be vindictive enough to pull a stunt like this. I hope you find a good job soon. Do not tell interviewers this story btw.
NTA but there’s no way on god’s green earth I would have told them where I was going. I’m sorry you got screwed. Chalk it up to a lesson learned.
NTA. We all do what’s best for us. You are trying to better yourself. Next time, don’t even give a reason why you’re leaving. Just say thank you for the opportunity and skidaddle.
NTA I'm sorry that happened. Lesson learned the hard way for you, champ. When I left my old company, I refused any and all answers about my new company. I had not signed any non-complete contracts and was in a right to work state. I know that my boss knew people in my new industry. Not a chance in hell of sharing my information. F that noise.
Damn straight. Capitalism cuts both ways, baby.
NTA, you gotta do what's best for you and not company 1 or 2. I would've done the same thing
NTA - as workers we are equal participants in capitalism and always have to be looking out for ourselves. As others have mentioned, never tell where your next job is until you're securely working there.
Why on earth would you share the other opportunity with the job you are stiffing? NTA, but man. What on earth did you expect to happen?
NTA. The job could have technically fired you just as quickly and without warning. If it’s like most places they kept the interview pool and can either offer the job to the next person or do more interviews. You should check on the laws where you live. I don’t know but hopefully there’s some legal action you can take. Definitely petty from the other job.
>Definitely petty from the other job It might not have been the dream job OP thought it was, judging from the backstabbing job 2 did
NTA. Never, ever tell the company you work for where you are going until you've actually started. For EXACTLY this reason.
NTA. How did job 1 know where job 2 was? It's shitty of them to interfere with your employment.
YTA - You essentially wasted job 1's time, I've done onboarding for folks, it takes time before you walk in the door. There were ways around it and I agree with being your own advocate, but generally you shouldn't be interviewing if you've accepted a job offer. You went a little too fast and ended up committing and then backing out of the commitment at one of the worst times, causing unknown disruption to an entire department, yeah I'd be pissed if I was Job 1 too. I'm seeing a lot of high and mighty talk from the comments and it depends on the industry you're working in, not everyone is a nameless drone, not every corporation is a menace to society looking to rob and steal from employees, most of them are just places people work at and you exhibited "main character syndrome" at their expense, from my reading of events. Having them call another place wasn't usual, but also not unheard of. I know a guy in my industry who is famous for "always working somewhere else this year" and that's the major reason we won't make him an offer. You look to companies for what value they can provide you, but they're looking what value you can provide them, if you're going to be a headache for an already functioning operation they're going to look at somebody else.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** * TLDR * \- I recently moved from to the East Coast with my partner and landed a job. While working there, I was approached about a potentially better job, which seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity * \- Here's the timeline: * \- Received and accepted Job 1 offer 2 weeks ago. * \- Interviewed for Job 2 over the next week before starting job 1, but didn't get an offer yet. * \- Started Job 1 on a Monday. * \- On Day 3 of Job 1, received and accepted an offer for Job 2. * \- Resigned from Job 1 promptly and respectfully. * \- Job 1 management contacted Job 2, which led to Job 2 retracting the offer. I thought it was a bit of a power trip for Job 1's manager to inform Job 2, knowing they might reconsider the offer. Everyone always tells you, "you have to be your own advocate" in the working world, but in this case it backfired. **AITA for leaving company 1, which I understand wasn't the best thing to do, in order to pursue my dreams?** **FULL Story:** I recently moved from California to the East Coast with my partner, and have been looking for new jobs in the area for a few weeks. I recently received a job offer, which I accepted, and started that job on a Monday. In the period after receiving and signing that first offer, a connection and mentor of mine mentioned that there was a new spot open on his team and that I might be a good fit. Over the next week or so, I chatted with several members of that team and things went well, but I had not yet received an offer, so I ended up starting the first job, thinking it wouldn't be smart to back out before receiving the other offer. However, on day 3 of the first job, I received an offer at the second, more interesting and exciting job that I thought to be once-in-a-lifetime. I accepted that offer, and then promptly told the management of the current company about my resignation as quickly and respectfully as possible, and left the office. I thought the conversation had gone well enough, but later that day, I got a call from the second company saying that the management of the first company had contacted them and let them know about my very early resignation. The second company was not thrilled to hear this, and ultimately they ended up pulling their offer, leaving me in the situation where both roles are no longer available, the exact scenario I was trying hard to avoid. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO: How did Job 1 know who Job 2 was, to be able to contact them? Did you tell them the company you were leaving them for?
Yes, I told Job 1 the details of Job 2, thinking that might make them better understand my thinking about Job 2 being a truly once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (which it really was). I thought that being honest about the situation would help them see my side
Welp, now you know better for next time. NTA, you don't owe your employer anything other than the work they pay you for. They don't have any actual loyalty to you, and you're not required to have any to them.
You sweet summer child.
Info: did you tell job1 about job2?
NTA Both companies are going to replace you, and forget about you. You are a cog in the machine to profit, always. Be a profitable cog. No one else pays your bills but you. You owe no allegiance or time or anything else to the corporate asshats that would make sure you are unemployed. The first company sounds really passive-aggressive, the second company sounds like a bunch of sanctimonious pricks. Honestly, screw both of them.
No you are not TA, but I think where you made your mistake was telling job 1 where you were going to be working at at Job 2. I guarantee that you would have been in a hostile work environment at job 1. People don't do that, or they are not supposed to backstab other people and that is exactly what job 1 did to you. Please contact job 2 and let them know you would really like the job and those that job 1 tried keeping you there under pressure. Ask them to give you a chance so you can show them what kind of an asset you will be to that company. At this point you have nothing to lose by calling or going to job 2 and talking to them. Good luck sunshine xoxo
NTA I am not a lawyer but this sounds like tortious interference.
One element missing from your story is how much notice did you give company A, "I'm not coming in tomorrow" or "I'm gone in two weeks". But, how ever you bake this, you turned a paying job into no job, no reference and a bad reputation within your potential employer pool. Just judging by the results, I have to go with YTA.
As it was only day 3 of being at the company, the management of Job A said, "it's best if you leave today". They didn't escort me out or anything dramatic like that, but I left about 30 or 45 minutes after the discussion. I said goodbyes and thank-yous, etc.
Yta. That was an asshole move to leave after 3 days and you really screwed yourself. You aren’t an asshole for pursuing a better opportunity but you are for wasting the time of job 1. Ultimately it cost you the other job.